


How We Got Here

by Einst2065



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Pain, Psychological Torture, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2018-12-31 19:55:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 62
Words: 311,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Einst2065/pseuds/Einst2065
Summary: This happens during the Academy and after STB.  What constitutes family, and can family survive anything? Jim and Bones will find out as they reflect on how they ended up as brothers.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first archive fiction, comments are welcome. This isn't completely cannon, but I did try. All italicized words telepathic communications. Sorry for any typos, I don't have an editor.

The cabin was large and comfortable by Starfleet standards, though today it was dark and stagnate.  She knew that the climate control was working perfectly; but, propped up against his headboard with the smell of nervous sweat in the air everything seemed stale and too damned still.  Seriana, the ship’s psychiatrist, longed for the smells of nature.  She loved the walks through her family’s gardens on Betazed. The breezes and floral smells always seemed to calm and focus her. She closed her eyes and tried to center herself, to picture the gardens.  Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t focus.  The man asleep next to her was in her head.  She had been able to block his thoughts, that was necessary if she wanted to be able to help him, trust was important.  She could not block his feelings, not this time. This away mission had taken a part of him; she felt that the moment he materialized with the kid’s body in his arms. It had been three days since then and as far as she knew he hadn’t slept until now.  His exhaustion could even be felt by non-telepaths.  For her it was worse.  She felt his exhaustion almost as if it were her own.

 

Seriana was an exceptionally gifted telepath, stronger than her older sister or her mother.  She had a rare talent she inherited from her father, she could block the thoughts and feelings of others.  Most Betazoids couldn’t block them making it uncomfortable to live and work around a large group of non-telepaths.  She always found it simple, like closing a door.  There have only been two people she could not easily block.  They had all met at the Academy almost a decade prior.  Those were great days. Days of learning, friendship, and love on many levels.  Or, maybe that was what she chose to remember.  No, they really were amazing years.  They were the years that gave her this family.  The family she treasured.

 

He started to wake, his thoughts on all of his past failures.  Thoughts so intense they broke through her mental defenses.  She slowly rubbed between his shoulder blades, trying to calm him.  All of his fears and pain were felt through to her very core.  “I’m here Imzadi.  I love you. Shhhh... “she whispered soothingly. Till now she had been able to keep him asleep, but he needed more than a few hours sleep. It was getting harder and she wondered how much longer she could keep this up. This was a far cry from earlier that day when he was screaming, telling her she had no authority to relieve him of duty.  Calmly she explained she did, and his return to duty was completely at her discretion.  That went over well.  It ended with his PADD shattering on the far wall and him pushing past her.  In the nine years they had known each other he had not been able to intimidate her, not even a little.  He was like this when he was scared, when he felt inadequate.  Later he slept next to her, using her as a lifeline.  When they first met she never envisioned she would end up here.

  

She closed her eyes again, allowed her mind to drift back to their Academy days.  Diplomacy in the Era of Expansion, it was an entry level course, but she was looking forward to getting back into the academic world.  She had graduated near the top of her class at Troy Medical School and had practiced as a general surgeon for a few years.  After all of that she wasn’t happy.  More, she wanted more.  Her father had suggested a change.  This was definitely a change. The first Betazoid to attend Starfleet Academy, and a doctor on top of it.  How many people leave a prestigious career to go back to school?  Something her mother continuously pointed out from the time Seri told her she had enlisted, until she boarded the shuttle to take her to the Earth bound transport ship.  Her sister thought she was an idiot; nothing new there.  Her dad was proud of her; proud his youngest was making her own destiny.  She walked into her first class in years.  First thing she did was “shut the doors”.  She didn’t need the thoughts and feelings of the children to ruin this.  This was why the next series of events was such a shock.

 

He flopped down in the seat next to her.  Seri looked at the young cadet.  A definite alpha male in every sense of the word.  Brilliant, driven, loyal, and funny, but also harboring a massive inferiority complex.  That most likely explained his drive.  She found herself unable to close the door on his emotions.  This was new; not horrible, but new.  He looked over at her with striking blue eyes and a smile that assured he could get any woman he wanted, well almost any.

_“Damn look at the eyes on her! I bet those legs go straight up to…”_

_“Yes, they do.  Just so you know, there is no way in hell you will ever go there.”_

His look of shock was actually adorable. “Betazoid?”

 

“Betazoid.”

 

_“Fuck!”_

She smiled, _“Thanks for the compliment though.”_

And there was that smile again.  She had to admit the look of shock was adorable, but the smile was better.

Now that was different.  She had never been able to communicate telepathically with a non-telepath before.  She could read their thoughts, but they could never read hers. “Hi! I’m Jim Kirk. You are?”

 

“Seriana. What is your area of study?”

 

“Command and Strategic alliances, though that may change.  You?”

 

“Psychology with a concentration in deep space travel and trauma.”  The professor entered and everyone stopped talking.  The syllabus, texts, and supplemental reading list were loaded onto everyone’s PADD’s.

 

_“This is going to suck if he doesn’t stop sounding like a dying voice modulator.”_

_“Jim!!!”_

_“Sorry.”_ This was going to be fun, or she was going to end up killing the kid.

 

“Hey Seri!” Jim yelled after her.

 

“Seriana.” She corrected him.

 

“Like I said, Seri.”  She couldn’t help but smile.  Jim’s genuine warmth could be felt even without her telepathy.  Given how most in Starfleet saw her; an asset to read other races, his warmth was a welcome change.  “Want to grab lunch?”

 

“Don’t you prefer to spend your time with women you have a chance of sleeping with?”

 

“Apparently not always.” Laughing she accepted his invitation.  As they walked across campus something told her that this was one of those life defining moments.  A moment where life could take turn for the better or the worse.  Jim was all energy; she was all heart.  As she looked back to that time she realized his one question changed everything.

 

 


	2. chapter 2

Replicated food wasn’t anyone’s favorite, but it wasn’t horrible.  Seri grabbed some sandwich she couldn’t identify.  “Go on, get the chocolate cake.  I know you want it.” Jim was beaming.

 

“You’re right.  We don’t have chocolate on Betazed.  Probably why I wanted to come to Earth.”

 

Jim scanned the room looking for a place to sit while she got a particularly large piece of double chocolate cake.  “Bones! Perfect, you need to meet him.  He is my best friend, and all appearances aside, he really is a good guy.” Somewhere during all of this Jim thought,” _He is my only real friend.”_ She let it go by. She didn’t let the kid know she “heard” it.

 

“His name is Bones?”

 

“As far as I’m concerned it is! Hey Bones, mind if we join you?”

 

Beautifully haunting hazel eyes peered over his PADD. “Sure.”  He gave her a small smile, but it never reached his eyes.  He felt emotionally tired.  Time to shut the door again.  “ _Shit.”_ Jim looked as her, that was expected, but so did Bones.  “Sorry, just having some problems.  Doesn’t matter.  Jim is rude; my name is …”

 

“Seri!”

 

She glared at Jim who continued to smile and gave her a wink. “ _And you are Leonard McCoy. It’s on your PADD.”_

_“Yes.”_  His southern accent was evident even in his thoughts; definitely a large part of his identity.

 

_“You know that’s rude?”_

“Sorry professional hazard. I tend to analyze everyone I meet.”

 

“Psych major?”

 

“Yes, concentration in deep space travel and trauma.  I’m also a general surgeon, but that is a very long story.”  Jim’s happiness could be felt as strongly as Leonard’s exhaustion. “Leonard, do you mind if I call you Len?” She shot a look at Jim. “Jim just seems to use nicknames without asking the other person’s permission. I’m not **that** rude.”

 

“If I asked, where would the fun be in that?  I have to run before I’m late for logistics. See you both later.”  Jim bounded off as she and Leonard stared after him.

 

“You can call me Len; I really don’t mind.”  This time his smile was genuine.  His smile lit his eyes which brought out every gold fleck. 

 

“What is your major Len?”

 

“Alien trauma.  I am already a trauma surgeon so it seemed like a good idea.  You don’t have to do this.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Stay here talking to me.  I’m sure there are more interesting people…” At that moment she understood all she had felt.  Jim masked his insecurities in bravado; Len masked his in gruff retorts and demeanor.  “Please don’t do that darlin’.”

 

“I’m sorry.  I never had this problem before.  I can usually mentally shut the door on non-telepaths, that way we can’t hear each other’s thoughts. I don’t know why I am having such a hard time with you and Jim.  You two are the first non-telepaths who could read my thoughts.  I promise I’ll work on it.”

 

Len looked at her questioning and worried. “ _Can you hear everything I think?”_

_“Yes.”_ He turned bright red.  Given his personality, Seri would not have thought that possible; Len McCoy blushing. “Yes, I know what you think about, lets just say my physical attributes.  At least you weren’t as blunt as Jim.” She loved his laugh, it seemed to come from his soul. 

 

“Seri, do you have any other classes today?” He looked at her softly, but also intently.

 

 “Not until 20:00; basic navigation.  Yuck!”

 

“Want to get some real coffee?”

 

“If I can have tea, yes.”

 

“Let’s go, get away from the children.” They walked across the quad in comfortable silence to an old fashioned coffee house at the edge of the campus.  He said it reminded him of where he grew up.  The smells were rich and clung to everything in the shop.  It was perfect.

 

The next few hours consisted of quiet conversation between equals.  She learned about his daughter; a seven-year-old hell fire according to her obviously proud father.  He learned of her overbearing mother, and how even from light years away she still tried to control her daughter’s life.  They laughed at how well she understood Jim even though they had just met.  They actually laughed a lot, something neither had done in a while.  It felt comfortable. Until that day nothing at the Academy had been comfortable, but now there was Jim and Len.

\

  


* * *

 

 

A scream pierced the silence of the cabin.  Seri heard the scream in her head a micro-second before the sound left his mouth.  Calmly she said “Lights 20%”.  He was sitting up staring straight ahead, shaking, sweating, pale; seeing nothing.  He could feel her next to him; he could always feel her.  Nothing could make him look at her, not after what happened that afternoon.  She relieved him of duty.  He called her a stupid bitch who couldn’t cut it as a real doctor.  God, he didn’t mean it.  She would never forgive him, or forget what he said. Why should she? Why should she ever forgive him? One more failure to be added to his very long list.  He felt his stomach and chest tighten.  He wasn’t going to cry, if he did he doubted he would be able to stop.  He could suppress his emotions; take a page from Spock’s book.  Except he couldn’t.  The more he tried the worse the shaking became, the tighter his stomach and chest got.  He jumped up from the bed and headed to the bathroom.

 

She could hear him retching.  It didn’t surprise her; she had been waiting for it.  His friend, a man he had felt protective of for nine years had died in his arms.  That was three days ago, and until she relieved him of duty she doubted he had slept.  When she took away his work it sent him spiraling downward. But, he needed this; he needed to break.  That was something she knew hadn’t happened in almost a decade.  He didn’t break; until he couldn’t do anything else.  She walked to the night stand and poured a glass of water.  Quietly she made her way to the bathroom.  He was still kneeling in front of the toilet dry heaving.  He hadn’t eaten much in the last few days so there wasn’t much to come up.  _“I know it hurts.”_ He knew she meant more than just his stomach.  She placed the glass on the counter, took a wash cloth from next to the sink, ran it under cold water, and wrung it out.  Seri knelt down beside him and gently placed the cloth on the back of his neck as she slowly rubbed his upper back.  The spasms continued for another few minutes.  “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.

 

Finally, the spasms stopped and he calmed enough to take the glass and rinse his mouth.  “Thank you.”  He sat back leaning against the wall. 

 

She sat next to him in silence for the next few minutes.  Slowly she turned to look at him; his eyes closed, his head bowed.  “Look at me.” He couldn’t not after everything that happened.  He didn’t want to see what her eyes might have held. “Please look at me.” Gently she turned his face toward hers.  He kept his eyes closed.  “Please.”

 

Slowly he opened them. He avoided her large black eyes.  They always reminded him of the deer at his family’s home, soft and inviting.  Now he knew they wouldn’t be the same.  Part of him wanted to see hurt, disappointment, and anger in them.  That would be perfect, a reflection of how he saw himself.  Finally, he looked into them; all he saw was love and concern. _“No! You should hate me! Why won’t you hate me? Please…make it stop.”_

 

She saw the tears beginning to well before he realized they were there.  The tears made the green shine brighter and the gold all but disappear.  She wrapped one arm around his shoulder and placed the other hand behind his head as she pulled him closer.  He buried his head into her neck and shoulder as he began to sob.  “I have you Len. Just let it go. I’m here.  I won’t let you go.  You’re safe.” Eventually he cried himself to sleep in her arms.  She laid his head on her lap.  How did we get here she wondered; grateful that in his state he couldn’t hear her every thought.

 


	3. Chapter 3

****

 

Their first year at the Academy was relatively uneventful.  Jim had been making a name for himself not only with the student body, but with the faculty as well.  That wasn’t always a good thing.  Len had been working at the student clinic and called his daughter and mother on the weekends.  He was acing his classes, but that was expected.  He, Seri, and Jim were quickly becoming the top of their class.  Seri had also been working at the student clinic and called home once a month to catch up on all of the family gossip.  She was maintaining a 4.0 GPA, but she also had two of the best study pals at the Academy; they kept each other moving forward and up.  She made sure her sister knew all of that. As bad as it was Seri always felt in competition with her.  As far as the rest of the gossip went there was Jim sleeping his way through the student body, and Seri’s classmates who continually asked her for introductions to “blue eyes” and “tall dark and handsome”; nothing new after the first few months.

 

It was time for summer break and everyone was packing out to head home; they would not get another one until after their commissioning.  Seri had looked forward to seeing her father for over a month. She had packed up the night before and put most of her stuff in storage over a week prior. In truth she had basically been living in Len’s spare room until a few nights ago.  She needed to see him before he left for Georgia.  It was extremely important and she knew his shuttle left hours before hers.  She rushed over to his building making sure she had all of her bags with her.  Over the course of the year Seri had learned to block Jim and Len’s thoughts; though their emotions were still difficult to block.  It had taken months but she got it down, something that made her proud.  She made it to Len’s door. _“Fuck!”_

_“Len?”_  Well she almost had it down.

 

_“Just fucking let yourself in! Sorry.”_

She punched in the code.  She walked into what the Academy would call a cluster fuck.  Clothes were everywhere and nothing was in boxes or suitcases.  “I expected this from Jim.  Kind of the reason I avoided him this morning.”  The levity didn’t work.  He picked up his PADD and threw it against the wall.  “Len, it is okay. I can help.”  She put her bags down and took a small blue box out of her duffel.  She placed the box on the kitchen counter and headed over to him. Her arm wrapped around his waist; though he relaxed a little she could still feel his panic.

 

“I got stuck at the clinic all night and didn’t get back until an hour ago.  I’m never going to make my shuttle.”

 

“Okay, who is picking you up in Atlanta?”

 

“Jocelyn.  Turns out we make great friends as long as we aren’t married.”

 

“Then call her.  Tell her what happened.  We’ll book you on another flight.  You are staying in this room next year, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good, we won’t have to pack you out.”  He gave her a weak smile and called Jocelyn.  Joce had no problem with the change in plans and told him to call when he had flight details.

 

Seri walked over to the counter and picked up the blue box, opened his large duffel bag and placed it in the inside pocket.  “I put Jo’s birthday gift in your inside pocket. “Once a month she had made sure she was with Len when he called home so she could say hello to Jo.  Jo was sweet, so much like her father must have been before life changed him; funny, smart, and with a mouth on her that left no doubt as to who her father was.  Seri promised Jo that one day they would go horseback riding.  Unlike most Betazoids Seri loved to ride.  “Len. Jo’s gift, I put it in the duffel’s inside pocket.”  This time he heard her and nodded.  He was working on his miraculously unbroken PADD.  “Are there any shuttles out later today?”

 

“Yes, later tonight.  I booked the one at 21:00 and sent a message to Joce.  It should get into Atlanta around 02:00 their time.  I told her I would take a taxi, but she insisted on picking me up.”

 

“That was fast”

 

“I’m efficient darling”.”

 

“Not according to this room.” This time he laughed.

 

Seri started to fold some of the clothes that she knew he would want with him; relaxed, casual, Len.  “So, are you going to tell me what is really bothering you?  I know it isn’t your fear of flying.”  He stopped and looked at her.  He could always tell when she was in his head: she wasn’t this time.  In all of the months they knew each other she never pried.  She never asked about the brooding, and she definitely never asked about the nightmares.  She helped him through them when she slept over, but she never pried.  He knew she was waiting for him to come to her.  No, she never pried before, but then he had never thrown his PADD across the room before either.

 

“Don’t do that.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Analyze me.  I’m not one of your damn test subjects.”

 

“You’re right. You’re not. What you are is my friend whom I love.  You and Jim are my family and I love you both.  I don’t analyze either of you.”

 

“You could have fun with Jim.  He could be your dissertation subject.”

 

“Probably not, and don’t change the subject.  What has you so scared?”

 

His eyes met hers, “I have to go to Emory Medical to finalize somethings.  I don’t want to walk back in there.  I’ve avoided it this long, but now mama said they contacted her.”

 

As the old saying went, “the penny dropped” for Seri. “Is it about your dad’s death?”

 

_“Yes.  About when I killed him.”_ She wasn’t going where he wanted her to go.  There was no way she was going to call him a murderer.  For the first time in all the months she knew him, he looked broken and scared.  Even after a nightmare he didn’t look like this.  He had the steadiest hands in the medical department; talented was the word she heard most of the women and some of the men use.  Now those hands were shaking and his eyes were filling with tears.  He was a murderer and now he was going to sign papers that made it official.  Why shouldn’t everyone know he was, no is, not good enough.  His father was right. 

 

Seri stepped towards him and took him into her arms.  He clutched onto her as his body stated to shake.  Tears flowed down his cheeks and dampened her long blonde hair. _“He was wrong. I know you can’t see that now, but he was.”_

_“I’m not so sure.  He was a better man than me.”_ He had calmed enough to get that thought out, but he wouldn’t let her go.

 

“No he wasn’t.  One day we’ll talk about why I think that.”  She gently pulled away and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  “Sit down. I’ll get some water.  I have to make a few calls.  Please don’t go anywhere.”  She handed him a glass of cold water, grabbed her PADD from the bag and went into the spare bedroom.  Being a top trauma surgeon definitely had its perks, two bedrooms and no roommate.  She would hate him if that room hadn’t come in handy on more than one occasion.

 

“Hey Jim, it’s me.”

 

“No shit.  You know I can see you?”

 

“Yeah sorry.  Can we talk?”

 

“What’s wrong kiddo?” She couldn’t remember when he started calling her that. It was funny because she had a few years on him.  Secretly she loved it.  He only used it with her.  She was his family, not one in a long list of females.

 

“Len is in trouble.  Not your kind of trouble.  This is real. Jim, he is terrified to go home.  He thinks he is a murderer and a failure.  I got him calmed down, but he isn’t going to remain calm if he goes home.  He needs to go home.  Jo needs her daddy, but he also needs to hold her.  He needs to see his mom, sleep in his bed.  But mostly he needs to face his father’s ghost.”

 

Jim never took his eyes off of her, calm and serious. “Seri you’re babbling, and this isn’t Hamlet.”

 

“Shut up.” He got her to smile and calm down a bit.  “I was calm in there and I am blocking him from my thoughts, but I don’t know what to do.  I do know one thing; I’m not going home; I’m going to Atlanta.”

 

“So am I kiddo.  I’m coming down”

 

“Jim give me a few minutes.  I’ll book us on the same flight as him, get a hotel room, and rent a hovercraft.  It will be harder for him to argue if it is a fait accompli.  I’ll also call Joce and tell her we’ll drive him home.  I have her number in case of emergency.”

 

“You know he’ll be pissed.”

 

“I don’t care I’ll call my parents when you get here.”

 

“Chicken.”  Jim smiled at her.  He had heard her mother a few times. Truth was she wanted her little brother as backup just in case.  Seri saw a strength in him when all most saw was a kid; that made him smile.  All the arrangements were made and Joce was contacted.  She was concerned about Len; they may have their differences but he was still the father of her child and part of her still loved him.  Joce told Seri she would contact Mrs. McCoy and tell her about the change of plans.  Now all that was left was for her to tell Len and her parents.  This should be fun.

 

When she returned to the living room he had most of the clothes packed or put away. “Did you get everything taken care of?”

 

“Mostly, I just have a couple more people I need to contact.”  If he was curious she couldn’t feel it, all she felt was defeat. 

 

The door opened, Jim walked in and dropped his bags on the floor.  They had each other’s door codes since early in the first semester; it made things easier. “Hey Bones, I’m not leaving until later.  Thought I’d come down and wait here.  You have a nicer room than mine.”

 

“Bullshit!” Len spit out, “She called you.  I’m not that stupid.”

 

“Kiddo why don’t you make your call?  Bones and I need to have an abrupt conversation.”  His eyes never left Len’s.  That was it. That was the first time she saw the leader in James T. Kirk; the leader she had always felt.  He was protecting his family.  He would take the brunt of McCoy’s anger.  Jim knew the anger came from fear; hell of all the emotions this was the one with which he had the most experience.  The two alphas squared off, not the best of scenarios.  She knew it wouldn’t get physical, but it would get ugly.

 

This time Seri took her PADD to Len’s bedroom.  She wanted to feel centered when she talked to her mother.  The bedroom was the perfect place, the sunlight warmed the room and it smelled like him. She always felt safe in this room.  She wanted to feel him when she talked to her mother.  Seri wasn’t scared of anyone, hell she had gone toe to toe with admirals while working at the clinic, but her mother always managed to reduce her to the family disappointment.  She didn’t know when she would be able to see them is she couldn’t get home for this break.  They wouldn’t get another break until December, and that one was only a week long.  The more she thought, the more she realized she may not be able to see them for a few years.  If all went well she might be able to get there in a couple of weeks, but she couldn’t guarantee it.  Her father would understand; he would miss her but he would understand.  It was her mother.  She picked up Len’s pillow and hugged it.  From the other room she could hear Len’s voice rise as Jim’s stayed low but firm.  She couldn’t make out all the words, though controlling and asshole came through pretty clear; but she could feel everything.  Len felt scared and defeated, where Jim was strong and determined.  Jim had it under control, now she had to deal with her mother.

 

_“Chicken.”_ Jim was having a bit of fun with her pain. Actually he was trying to calm her, make her smile.

 

_“Yes”_

_“I’m here kiddo.”_

_“I know, but you have to deal with him.”_

_“He’s easy.  He’ll get tired soon.”_

_“I’ve got this. Just have to deal with the guilt.”_

_“Ouch!”_

She turned on the PADD and called home.  “Hi Celiasa, is dad there?”

 

“He is in the garden. Should I get him? What is going on Seriana?”

 

“Just get dad please. Thanks.”  Her older sister, Celiasa, had always been too curious.  Married to a weak but sweet man, they had two children.  Celiasa already saw herself as the head of the family.  Seriana knew one thing, Celiasa may become the traditional head of the family but she would never be her superior.  Haughty and full of hubris, her sister encompassed many of the qualities Seri hated.  Another reason she could never move back.  Finally, her dad came in.  An intelligent sweet man, Mr. Targan was a traditional Betazoid husband; happy to allow his wife take the lead in most social situations, but always be there to support her.  He adored both of his girls, but truth be told Seriana was his favorite.

 

“Hi baby. How are you?”  He knew something was wrong.

 

“Hi dad.  I hate to call so late but there has been a change in plans.”

 

Her dad looked at her.  He could see the concern in her eyes.  “That is alright.  Do you want to tell me about it?”  Screaming could be heard from the living room but her dad didn’t react.

 

“Remember the friends I told you about months ago?”

 

“Leonard and James?”

 

“Yes. Dad, Jim and I are taking Len home to Atlanta.  I have never seen him like this.  He is terrified.”

 

“Of what?”

 

“I think mostly himself.  Or, rather who he thinks he is.  But whatever it is he needs his family with him.  I know mom would say I am not his family, that I need to come home and see my real family.   Dad, she is wrong they are my family.  There is a very old Earth saying ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.’ They are my family dad, as much as all of you are and Len needs me with him.”

 

“Seriana.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You’re babbling.”  She vowed to work on that; stop babbling when stressed. “Are you worried that I wouldn’t understand, that I would be angry?  You know you are hugging that pillow pretty hard?”

 

She had forgotten she had it. “No. Mom.”

 

“Lucky for you she isn’t here.  I’ll tell her.  You know she will be disappointed.”

 

“She is always disappointed with me.  I’m not like her or Celiasa. At least she is consistent.”

 

“Baby, I’ll talk to her.  Just be ready for her call.  Seriana, we have never been disappointed with you.  You make me proud every day.  What you are doing, going with Leonard, that makes me as proud of you as I have always been.  My baby is a grown woman of strength, substance, and character.  I love you baby.” 

 

Her tears fell down her cheeks and pooled onto the pillow leaving a dark spot on the red pillow case.  “I love you too dad.  I’ll try to get home over this break. I promise.” 

 

Seri turned her PADD off.  She dreaded the call she knew would come, but at least for now she was spared her mother’s diatribe.   She hugged the pillow and waited a few minutes to center herself.  She wasn’t going into the lion’s den with a tear streaked face.  Almost completely centered she stood, before she could take a step the bedroom door slammed open.  “Who the hell do you think you are?  I don’t need your help. I don’t need fucking babysitters to hold my hand.” Len finally looked at her face, tears still evident on her cheeks.  He stopped; part of him wanted to take her in his arms and make it all okay for her.

 

“You want to know who the hell I think I am?!” For her the tears were forgotten, and if he thought she needed comfort he was definitely mistaken. “I am one of the few people in the universe who love you unconditionally.  You should be damn grateful for that.  If it wasn’t that Jim and I would have left you alone.”

 

“Maybe that is what I want.”

 

“We both know that is a lie so let’s just move on.”  Jim was standing in the door with a full blown Kirk smile lighting up his face.  He loved when she got like this.  One day he watched her kick a three-star admiral out of her clinic.  It was a thing of beauty.  If Bones thought he could win this, he was sadly mistaken.

 

“I don’t need you or anyone to take care of me.”

 

“So that is why you were crying into my shoulder and holding onto me?”

 

He looked at Jim.  “Don’t look at me buddy, I’m on her side.”

 

“I wish you hadn’t let Jim know that.”

 

“Bones, she has held me through some very rough nights.  We all need each other.”  Jim moved towards him.

 

“Jim please, I can’t do this.  Please don’t make me.”

 

Jim brought him into a hug, allowed him to feel protected.  “You can.  We are always here for you.” Finally, they all walked into the living room.

 

Leonard wanted it to be over.  Once it was over these two would leave him, Joce would never let him near Joanna, and his mother would know her son killed her husband. It would end, all of it.  Then he could move on, never let anyone in again.  That was best.  His dad was right he couldn’t cut it.  He wasn’t his dad.  Damn he couldn’t even make his marriage work.

 

“Bones, where are you?”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m not Seri, I can’t read your mind.  Where did you go just then?”

 

“Can’t I have some thoughts to myself?”

 

“Not right now. Now we are in this together.”  He looked at Jim. The kid had no idea what they were heading into.

 

“I’m glad you can’t read my mind.  Where is our little telepath anyway?”

 

“She left when you zoned out.” Jim handed him a beer.  “She is going to make sure we didn’t leave anything in our rooms.  Stop changing the subject.  Let me be there for you.  Bones you have been there for me.  Please let me do this for you.”  Len knew what Jim was doing but he let him.  Maybe the kid would leave now.  That would be over. 

 

“It is all catching up with me.  Eventually you will all leave and everything my father believed about me will be proven correct.  That was what I was thinking.”

 

“Leonard,”

 

“You never call me that.”

 

“Leonard, Seri is right.  No matter what your past holds I know who you are, who you really are.  I love you unconditionally and I am not going anywhere.”

 

“Are you sure you aren’t a mind reader?”  They both finished their beers and smiled at the idea of their family.

 

Jim took a look at Len. His Bones, the big brother he wished for growing up.  How would his life had been if Len had been his brother and not Charlie?  Maybe Tarsus IV wouldn’t have happened to him.  “Bones, you look tired, why don’t you take a nap. It’s only 13:00, we don’t leave here until 19:30.  I’ll clean up.”  Len raised an eyebrow.  “I do know how smartass.” Jim started to clean as Len made his way back to the bedroom.  The morning had taken a lot out of him.  As he laid down he noticed his pillow smelled like Seri, sweet and spicy like a peach.  It helped, she always smelled like home to him.

 

 Jim looked around the kitchen.  So, cleaning wasn’t one of his talents but how hard could it be.  He started throwing out anything that looked like trash and emptied the fridge.  Seri had said something about grabbing food out before they headed to the shuttle.  An hour later she was back with two large bags filled to capacity.  “Did you forget all of that kiddo?”

 

The look she gave him was priceless as she dropped both bags on the couch.  “No, you did.  Honestly Jim, you said you sent your stuff to storage yesterday.”  He just laughed.  “I’ll move your stuff to the spare room.  Where is Len?”

 

“I sent him to bed.”  She moved the bags into the spare room and then stood outside his door.  Pain, all she could feel was heartbreak.


	4. chapter 4

“Imzadi, baby you need to wake up. Come on.”

 

 He slowly opened his eyes.  It hadn’t been a nightmare. He could feel the cold tile of the bathroom.  “Seri?”

 

“I’m here.”  She helped him up but blocked his view of the mirror.  He looked like a ghost, vacant eyes with dark circles under them.  He didn’t need to see that.  Slowly she guided him back to bed.  He laid down and she pulled the covers over him.  “I’ve taken the next few days off.”, she told him as she sat next to him on the bed.  “Captain’s orders so don’t bother protesting.”

 

“Jim must be pissed.”

 

“No, just very concerned.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  I read the reports and talked to Spock.”

 

He closed his eyes tight against the memory.  The kid, he was so young.  “Seri, I can’t.  Please don’t make me talk about it.”

 

“Okay, for today.”

 

“Who is doing the…”  He couldn’t say the word. 

 

“Autopsy?” She offered.  “M’Benga, he’ll take good care of him.”

 

“I should do it.  He always trusted me.  Remember when I accidentally got him drunk the first time?  I think he was seventeen.  He still trusted me even when he thought that was going to kill him.”  Len smiled at the memory

 

“You had more of a chance of dying that night.  Sulu and I wanted to kill you.”  She smiled down at him and brushed the hair from his forehead. 

 

His smile quickly faded.  I should be the one to do the autopsy.”

 

“You are the last person who should do that, and you know it.”

 

He closed his eyes.  “I’m so tired.  Peaches, I’m afraid to sleep.  He is there.  They both are.  It is all my fault.  I know you said it isn’t but it is.”

 

“Leonard, you aren’t God.  You also are not a murder.  You are the only one who ever thought you were.”

 

“God or a murder?”

 

“Both.”  She wasn’t going to allow him to go back there, back to the Georgia of his twenties.  They visited that place before and he had moved past it.  For now, that was her job, to keep his head out of Emory Medical.  He needed to remember that those days were past.  He needed to remember that his father was wrong.  He was the chief medical officer of the fleet’s flagship.  Only the best worked on the Enterprise, and Dr. Leonard McCoy was the best trauma surgeon in the fleet; one of the top five in the federation.  He just needed to remember that.

 

She stood up and walked over to what had become her side of the bed.  She laid down next to him as he turned to face her.  “How much do you know?”

 

“About what?”

 

“About what happened on Mylus.”  He looked her in the eye.  She kept her thoughts blocked but he knew he could always read her eyes.

 

“Everything.”

 

His eyes closed, “Then you know.”

 

“Yes.  Can I see your back?”  His eyes flew open in a panic.  “Len, I know.  Let me in please.”

 

“Why don’t you just read my damned mind?”  He bit back the anger as best he could, but it still came through.

 

“I won’t go where you don’t want me.” He put his head on her chest and listened to her heart; strong, steady, grounding. She felt the weight, she also felt the dampness created by the tears he didn’t know had fallen.  As he laid there she gently ran her fingers through his hair.  It wasn’t long before she felt his breathing level out and slow.  He fell asleep again, but how long could it last.  Years ago she and Jim learned that for Leonard McCoy, fear meant anger and little sleep.

 

Once he was in a deep sleep she slipped out of bed as she propped his head on her pillow.  It crossed her mind how stupid it was for her to have a separate cabin.  They would have to discuss that later.  Her cabin was bigger and had a small window.  It had been Jim’s, but after a few weeks in it he asked her if she would switch with him.  He wanted something cozier after Krall.  Possibly a throwback to Tarsus IV; that was something he didn’t want to discuss again.  Eventually she would get him to talk it through, but for now it would have to wait.  She stepped across the corridor to her cabin, grabbed some clothes and called Jim.  Alpha shift was over so she hoped he would be alone in his cabin.

 

“Jim?”

 

“Hi kiddo!”

 

“Can you come over?”  Before she could notice he hadn’t answered he was in her living room. Jim put his PADD on the table and walked forward toward Seri.  He wrapped her in his arms.  She grabbed onto him with all of her strength, sobbing.  She was tired and after reading the reports she knew things had been a living hell for that baby before he died.  She had been holding everyone together, that was her job.  But who counsels the counselor?  She started to calm down.  “I’m sorry Captain. That was inappropriate.”

 

“It’s Jim in here.  I thought you knew that.”

 

“I do.”

 

He pulled back and lifted her chin so her eyes met his. _“Have you been getting any rest?”_

_“Some.”_

_“That was vague.  I’m going to assume you have only had a few hours in the past five days.  Not healthy doctor.”_

_“I know.  But you don’t have any room to talk.”_

He moved her to sit on the couch.  She put her head on his shoulder as he draped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. _“It’s in my job description; somewhere between diplomatic relations and disciplinary actions.”_

_“It is in mine as well.  It is just harder this time.”_

_“Because it’s Len?”_

_“Not just Len.  The kid was popular.  I’ve seen nearly half the crew in the past three days.  By the way, I haven’t seen your name on my roster.”_

_“Perk of having personal access to the counselor.”_

_“Make an appointment Captain; or, the ships psychiatrist may have to relieve you of duty.”_ They both chuckled but Jim made a mental note to make an appointment. _“Jim, I think being tired and then being screamed at wore me down.”_

_“Why don’t we go to his place?  You can grab a few hours sleep while I do my reports.”_

_“Are you sure? I know you are tired.”_

_“No point in lying, I am. But I have to finish these reports.  M’Benga’s findings are in them and Starfleet command is anxious for his conclusions.”_

_“I didn’t tell Len the autopsy was done yesterday.  I just told him he couldn’t do it and M’Benga would do a good job.”_

_“He wanted to do it?”_

_“He loved that kid.  He wanted to take care of him one last time.”_

_“I’m glad you didn’t let him.  Was that what started the fight in Sickbay?”_

_“Yes, it got him relieved of duty.”_

_“I pulled that out of the ship’s official record.  Spock, M’Benga and Chapel agreed.  Sorry I didn’t ask you, but I thought you would be okay with the decision.  I didn’t want it in his service record._

_“You were right.  He hasn’t been this bad since Emory.”_

_“I know.”_

_“May I read your report when you are done?”_

_“Are you sure you want to?”_

_“Want may not be the correct word.  I need to read it.  I read Hylee and Trexel’s firsthand accounts and Spock’s summary, but there are still holes.”_

_“I know.  Two conditions to me giving it to you.  I am with you when you read it, and you read it after you are rested.”_

_“Agreed.”_ They got up; Jim grabbed her stuff and his PADD.  They headed to Len’s room.  He was still asleep.  Seri changed into one of Jim’s old tee shirts, and shorts.  He gave her a smirk; she always stole their shirts.  She crawled into bed as he sat down with his PADD and began his report.  She didn’t know how much sleep she would get.  She kept going back to the first time they were all forced to deal with pain together, forced to become an unbreakable family unit.

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

 

She quietly opened his door.  His breathing was ragged but steady.  She had promised him she would never go into his head unless he was in immediate danger, or he told her it was okay.  As bad as this was getting it didn’t mean he was in danger; so, she kept the mental door closed.  He was sleeping on his side turned towards the door.  Seri sat on the chair near the foot of the bed.  What happened with his dad?  What was so bad it could cause this? She couldn’t take her eyes off of him.  She wanted to see him laugh the way he did the first day they met; that would take a while.

 

_“Where would I find something to clean the counter?”_

_“Really?  You are at the top of our class and you can’t figure that out?”_

_“Frank always kept everything on the counter.”_

_“Under the sink.”_

_“Thanks!!!”_ He could always make her smile. 

 

Len became restless.  She knew he would wake soon, but he needed to sleep.  He startled awake and sat up.  His heart pounded and he sweated through his shirt, but he couldn’t remember the dream.  He felt her; she was back.  Thank God.  He didn’t want her to know how much he had needed her.  In time she would hear what he did and want to leave; but, if she knew he needed her she might stay out of obligation.  He wouldn’t do that to her.

 

_“Please let me in Len.  I need you to be honest with me.  Please.”_

_“If you knew you would leave.  You would hate me.  I can’t handle that today.”_

Slowly she made her way to the bed and sat down next to him.  She brought her hand up to the side of his face and stroked his cheek with her thumb.  He closed his eyes and let the tears fall.  He felt her love, her compassion.  She kissed his eyelids and forehead. He pulled her to him as she ran her fingers softly through his hair.  _“Trust me. I’m not going anywhere.”_ Slowly he pulled back.  She meant it, he knew that.  For the first time in his life he trusted someone not to leave; to see the worst in him but still stay.  He brought his hand to her face, cupped her cheek and brushed her lips with his thumb.  _“Len don’t, not like this.”_   He stopped, embarrassed that he tried anything.  _“Don’t do that.  I didn’t say no, I said not like this.  If we are ever together it needs to be for the right reasons.  Len, it’s too important.”_

_“You’re right.  But you can’t blame me for trying darlin’.”_   She smiled, but more importantly so did he.

 

“Move over old man.”

 

“I’m only a year older than you.”

 

“I never said I wasn’t old.” She kicked off her shoes and jeans then crawled under the covers with him.  He knew she would.  Early on both men learned a universal truth, Dr. Seriana Targan couldn’t sleep in long pants.

 

She let him sleep on her chest.  He allowed her into his head and she wasn’t leaving until he told her she had to go.  She closed her eyes and walked through the door.  She couldn’t believe he was letting her.  She led his dream, something she learned to do while in medical school.  It would allow her to see and feel anything he was experiencing in the dream.  It would be harder on her, but easier on him.  Slowly his dreams began to evolve.  He was back in Emory Medical; but unlike the first time, this time she stood next to him holding his hand. _“I’m here Len.  No matter what happens I am with you.”_

_“I’m scared.  Please don’t make me do this again.  I can’t. I don’t want to relive it.”_

_“You relive this almost every night.  Let me bear this with you_.” _He let go of her hand, but she followed close behind.  She could smell the hospital around them.  He didn’t take his eyes off of the bed in the middle of the dark room.  The bed looked as if it had a spotlight over top of it.  There was a frail older man, probably in his late sixties, in the bed.  He writhed in pain but turned to look at Leonard.  He had Leonard’s eyes; or rather, Leonard had his._ _“I’m here dad.”_

_“Please Leo. Please do it.  You’re a doctor.  If you can’t fix me then let me go.”_

_“Please, you know there is no cure.  They almost have one.  Just hold on a little longer.”_

_“I can’t do it myself.  I’m not strong enough.  Just turn it off.  You’re a doctor; you’ve killed people before.  All doctors kill people.”_

_“Even you dad?”_

_“Just end the pain.  You’re my son and a doctor.  I’m asking you to help me die.”_

_Len kept staring at the bed, but Seri came close enough to him that he could feel her breath on his arm. “Alright dad.”  The elder McCoy looked relieved, calm.  Len went over to the machines and turned off the alarms first.  He looked across the bed at Seri as he turned off the life support._   Everything went black and they were back in his bedroom awake. She didn’t say anything. _“That is who I am Seri.  That is me. I murdered my father.  Look at me and tell me that you love me now.”_

“I love you Len. I love you.” This time he believed her completely.  He knew he was unconditionally loved.  “Go to sleep Len.  You are safe.  We’ll talk later.”

 

“Please stay with me.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere.”  He closed his eyes, and for the first time in years he slept peacefully.  Seri drifted off with him.


	5. chapter 5

At 19:00 Jim quietly entered Len’s bedroom and knelt next to the bed. _“Seri, kiddo it’s time to get up.”_ He gently moved her bangs to the side. She slowly woke up as Jim rubbed Len’s arm to wake him. They got up, got changed and followed Jim to the living room; the clean living room. Neither of them could hide their shock. “What?! I can clean. I just choose not to that often.” Len was rested and a lot calmer. Jim was pleasantly surprised. _“How did you do it?”_

 _“Jim, we’ll talk later.”_ They grabbed their bags and headed out. “You know I can carry my own bags.”

Jim looked at her, “So.” They just managed to get to the shuttle in time to check their bags. Len hadn’t had time to panic, but it would happen as soon as they sat down.

“Jim, can you get us seats? I need to ask the flight attendant something.”

“Sure kiddo.”

  
Len looked at her, fear started to show in his eyes. “I’ll be right back.” She got an airsickness bag from the attendant; better to be prepared than not. With the bag safely hidden in her pocket she made her way towards where she saw Jim and Len had headed. Jim had found three seats together near the middle window. He had put Len in-between them with him in the aisle seat; Len couldn’t escape that way. Seri thought it was a very smart move. “Hey guys, let me in.”

“What did you need kiddo?”

“Nothing, I’m good.” They all strapped in. Len’s fingers were leaving permanent indents in the arm of the rests until Seri took his hand and Jim put his hand on his arm. “Len, baby can you feel my pulse?”

“Are you okay?” She could hear the concern in his voice.

“Yes, just feel my pulse.” He took her wrist gently and felt the soft beats. “Count them. How many are there in a minute?” He started counting The lights dimmed and the shuttle took off. She got him past that, usually takeoff and landing were the worst for him. Jim tried to distract him. They talked about Joanna and her most recent exploits.

Next thing they knew the shuttle was flying through a small meteor storm. Nothing too bad but it did knock the shuttle around. Len grabbed her hand and Jim tightened his grip on his friend. “It’s okay Bones. Not a big deal. Just a few small meteors. We’ll be through it soon.”

“I’m going to be sick.” The fear, and with it the nausea had become almost overwhelming. Seri handed him the bag. Jim gave her a grateful glance; he hadn’t forgotten the first time they met. He didn’t need a repeat.

Seri looked at Len, “Look out the window. Find a star and look at it.” She could feel his fear steadily rising. “Len we are here with you. Stare at the star and stay with me.” He tried to stare at the star he really did, but it didn’t work. His mouth was producing too much saliva. He spit it into the bag a few times before the gagging started. “It’s okay we’re both here.” Jim had been rubbing his back and Seri had her cool hand on the back of his neck. He hated vomiting; the loss of control was hard on him.

“It’s okay. Bones if you just throw up you’ll feel better. Like you tell me, don’t fight it.” He did try to fight it, but it wasn’t long before he threw up what he felt was a week’s worth of stomach contents. Jim got the attendant’s attention. He said something to her. She left and came back with a fresh bag, water, and a cool damp hand towel. “Bones here, rinse your mouth.”

He dutifully rinsed his mouth, spit it into the bag and handed it to the attendant. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay sir. Not a big deal.”

He took the towel and wiped his face. Seri took it when he was done; shook it, folded it, and placed it on the back of his neck. He started to relax a little. _“Thanks kiddo. That could have been tragic.”_ She half laughed. The rest of the ride was relatively uneventful except; both the female and male attendant couldn’t do enough for Jim, and Len wouldn’t let go of Seri’s hand. Jim was amused by the attendants, but the hand holding was what interested him.

They landed in Atlanta at 02:05. Seri picked up the hovercraft while Jim and Len got their bags. The men fought over who was going to drive. Jim refused to get out of the driver’s seat. He said he was training to captain a starship so a hovercraft would be easy. They all got in with the two hardheads in the front and Seri in the back. They weren’t moving. Jim looked at Len, “Where are we going?” They switched seats. It took Seri a few minutes to completely stop laughing. They went down dark and winding country roads until Len turned into a long driveway lined with pecan trees. The drive led to a very large farm house. The trees had obscured it from the road, but once they cleared them they could see a warm glow coming from the downstairs windows.

He parked the craft to the side of the front steps. As they opened their doors, the front door to the home burst open. Len ran up the stairs, grabbed his mother and lifted her off the ground. She kissed his cheek as he put her down. “Mama, you shouldn’t have waited up.”

“Nonsense, how often does my boy come home?”

Jim had taken Len’s bags out and brought them up the stairs of the porch with Seri close behind him. “Mama, this is Jim and Seri. They are the friends I’ve been telling you about.”

Mrs. McCoy was an older woman around sixty, with the sweetest face either Jim or Seri had ever seen. Her son favored her looks, except for his eyes, hers were a bright blue. She encompassed the term steel magnolia; sweet, southern, beautiful, but with an incredible inner strength. Seri felt it immediately. She was everything Seri and Jim’s mothers weren’t. She hugged both of them. Jim beamed at the welcome. Maybe this trip would be good for him as well. “That doesn’t look like much luggage kids. How are you all going to get by with only two bags?”

Jim stepped forward, “We got a hotel room. We didn’t want to impose ma’am.” Sometime the Iowa boy came out.

“Leonard! You didn’t invite them to stay?” Seri tried to defend him by saying it was very last minute; but Mrs. McCoy wouldn’t hear it. “You are all staying here. Pumpkin, help them with their bags and get them settled. When you are done, there is food in the kitchen.” Secretly Seri was thrilled. They had forgotten to eat and Jim was an ass when he was hungry.

Seri reached for her bags, but Len grabbed them first. “Mama would kill me.” She smiled up at him; his mama raised a southern gentleman. They followed him up the grand staircase in the entryway. It occurred to her that this wasn’t a farm house, it was an antebellum plantation home. “Len, how old is this place?”

He just smiled, “We’ll talk later. I’ll show you both around.” He put his bags outside one of the rooms. He opened the door across from his for Jim. “Lights 60%. Enjoy kid.” Jim walked in smiling the entire time.

“Come here Peaches, your room is just down here.” Peaches? When had he ever called her that? She loved it. Len walked her down the hall to the door after his. “Lights 60%. I hope this is okay. The bathroom is through that door. That door leads to my room if you need anything. There is a veranda that overlooks the peach grove. Sorry about the roosters; they seem to crow earlier every year. Mama had the fireplaces redone; the control is on the night stand. Do you like dogs? Mama has four so let me know if they bother you.” He had blurted this all out very quickly hoping the fact that their rooms were adjoining had simply fallen in with the rest of the information.

The fact that their rooms were adjoining wasn’t missed by  Seri; neither was his nervousness. She didn’t need to be a telepath to feel that. “I love it. I’ve never slept in a canopy bed, or had a fireplace in my bedroom. I feel like a princess. You can also use that door if you need anything.” She pointed to their shared door. She took a step towards him; he didn’t move. She took a couple more steps until she was only a few inches in front of him. His breath quickened as she looked up at him. Slowly she ran the backs of her fingers along his cheek. It felt rough; he hadn’t had time to shave. He couldn’t take his eyes off of hers. Her hand found its way to the back of his head. Gently she pulled him down. When their lips met it was soft and gentle. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip. She opened her lips at his request. His tongue found hers. She felt him through her, in her mouth, in her head, everywhere all at once. He never felt like this, not even with Joce. It was a kiss, just a kiss, but damn if it didn’t feel more intimate than most of the sexual encounters he had in his life.

They pulled back for air; he rested his forehead on hers. “Damn what was that?”

“What I said we needed to wait for. The right reasons.”

“I love you Seri. I know you may not feel exactly the same, but I have known I felt this way for a while…”

“Shhh. I know. I have known. I’m in love with you. That is what that kiss meant. I love you Imzadi.”

He held her tight. “Thank God.” He thought for a minute, “What does Imzadi mean?”

She giggled as she pulled away. “We should go down before Jim thinks we were having more fun than we actually were.” With that she left Len standing in the middle of the room wondering what just happened and what it all meant.

By the time Seri arrived in the kitchen, Jim had a full turkey dinner in front of him and Mrs. McCoy looked thrilled. She felt Mrs. McCoy’s genuine warmth, especially towards Jim. He had let all of his defenses down and was as happy as a kid. In the year she had known him he never let anyone in; well, except her and Len. “Hi darlin’. Did Len get you situated? I hope he picked out a nice room for you.”

“Yes ma’am! The room is amazing. It has a canopy bed and a fireplace! I have never had a room like it. We don’t have anything like this where I come from.”

“Betazed?”

“Yes ma’am.” Then she caught it, what concerned Len’s mom. “I don’t read thoughts unless the other person is a telepath or they tell me I am allowed. Since I can block thoughts I always felt it was rude to read them uninvited.”

“I thought telepaths couldn’t help it.”

“Seri is special mama. Jim can tell you; it took her awhile to be able to block our thoughts.”

“I did finally figure out why you two were so difficult.”

“Why?” He grabbed some turkey and stuffing.

“I don’t want to say. It may go to Jim’s head.”

That got Jim’s attention. “Okay kiddo tell us.”

“Intellect and drive. What is at your core. The common pseudo psychological term would be alpha. Not what most people think it means, but what it really means.” Mrs. McCoy sat down, interested to hear who this woman thought her son was; what she saw in him. Seri sat across from her and continued. “There are leaders, let’s face it the Academy is full of them, but this is different. A leader will kill to protect those around them. An alpha will do that, but they will also die to protect them. They know honor, sacrifice, and service. They lead and others follow because they understand they will be safe under the alpha leader. The alpha would never bully, that would be weak. They are a gentleman or lady, and are more often than not brilliant.” They were all staring at her shocked. “What?”

“You never told us that kiddo. By the way, you just described yourself.”

She turned bright red. “I was just saying why it was hard to block both of you. I met a couple of others, one is that kid who lives down the hall from Len. Thanks to you two I can block them now. By the way, you two are still the only two non-telepaths who can read my thoughts. Haven’t figured that out yet.” She grabbed a plate and filled it. She didn’t realize how hungry she was; but, missing a few meals had taken its toll. Also this was real food. She missed real food so much.

Mrs. McCoy seemed happier with Seri. It wasn’t just the fact she wasn’t reading her thoughts, though that was nice; it was the way she looked at her son. As a mother she was happy another woman saw the man he truly was. She was grateful her husband hadn’t managed to destroy their son completely.

Jim finished and started cleaning up. Len and Seri looked at him with shock. “What?” He tried to sound incredulous, but a laugh came out at the end.

Mrs. McCoy sided with Jim. “You two leave Jim alone. Go, get cleaned up and get some sleep. That rooster will be up soon and he won’t let anyone rest. Jim, can you give me a hand?” Mama McCoy knew a boy in need of a family when she saw one.

Len kissed his mom and stated up the back stairs. Seri followed close behind. “Goodnight ma’am. Goodnight Jim.”

“Goodnight dear, and call me Mama. That goes for you too Jim.” Jim stopped cleaning. Seri’s mind reached out to him; she knew what that meant to him. She also knew he didn’t want to cry and she could help with that. She centered him easily. He walked over and hugged Mama.

Len and Seri said goodnight to each other and went to their rooms. Seri contacted the hotel and cancelled the reservation. She would have to pay for the first night, but she expected that. She wouldn’t tell Jim, he would want to give her money for all of this and she knew he didn’t have it. She came from money; though no one knew that, plus she had made good money as a surgeon and did okay working at the clinic. Also this trip was her idea. He couldn’t argue with that last part. She grabbed her ditty bag from the luggage and headed into the bathroom. She noticed there was already shampoo, soap, tooth paste, and a tooth brush in the room. Not the small sizes you use for guests, but full sized bottles and tubes that were obviously used. She walked back to the bedroom and opened the armoire. It had a couple leather jackets, button down shirts, sweatshirts, men’s dress pants, several suits, and a couple sport coats. That little shit! _“Leonard!”_

He came running into the room. She stood with the open armoire in front of her. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Why did you do this? You need to be in your bed tonight.”

“I just wanted you to have one of the best rooms in the house.”

She stared at him there was more to this than what he told her. “Is that all?”

He walked towards her until they were only inches apart. “Maybe I wanted to know you were sleeping in my bed.” His voice was quiet and dark, “Maybe I wanted you naked under my covers.” He kissed her, not soft like the first time. This time was different; forceful, hard, passionate. She was in his head again. No words just feelings. She in him, he in her, everything all at once. She could feel how hard he was as he pressed into her hip. She couldn’t think; she wanted him, all of him. She pulled back and started to unbutton his shirt. It fell to the floor as she pushed it from his broad shoulders. He reached under her shirt; his fingers ghosted over her tight stomach as they made their way up towards her breast. Her body was firm and soft at the same time. She was lost in all of it, lost in him. “Are you sure about this Peaches?”

“Yes.”

“You weren’t sure before.”

“Yes I was. I was also sure it was the wrong time. I want to make love with you, not just have sex.”

He kissed her, his tongue playing with hers, pulling her in closer. She pulled back as he removed her shirt and slipped her pants down to reveal her black lace panties and bra. He couldn’t help but stare; he had never seen anything as beautiful in his life. She took a step towards him, he reached into her hair and removed the pins holding it up. It tumbled down her body caressing her shoulders and most of her back. She began to undo his pants. “Not yet. I want the first time to be about you.”

“But I want to see you.” He stepped out of his shoes and removed his pants and underwear. He was perfect, not just his body, though that was magnificent, but him. She moved her hands over his back as he licked his way from her jaw down her neck, stopping to nip where her neck met her shoulders. She hissed his name as he took her wrist and sucked on the soft underside. She knew what he was doing, pulse points, but it didn’t matter. She had had other lovers, at least she had sex before, but no one like this. He was going to make her cum before she was even naked.

She kept trying to stroke his dick. She would wrap her hand around it; god that was turning her on, long, thick, and heavy, but satin to the touch. He would remove her hand every time. “I said not this time. Don’t make me tie your hands to the bed.”

His eyes were almost as black as hers. She could feel how wet he had her; one more lick or bite and it would start to run down her legs. With a flick he had her bra falling off her shoulders. His tongue made its way from her neck to her breast. He licked around her nipple, and felt how firm it was to his touch. She thought her legs would give out. He moaned as he took her nipple into his mouth, applying just the right amount of pressure. At that point it was over for her; the sensation and his moan sent her over the edge. She was cumming. This had never happened to her before. He didn’t even have her underwear off. He hadn’t touched her there; but here she was shaking, not being able to stop. His arm was behind her holding her up; his other hand was over her mouth. He didn’t want his mother to know he could make a woman scream. When she finally came down she could hear him “See first time all about you. Now I want you in my bed.”

He picked her up, never taking his eyes from hers. Gently he laid her on the bed. Then he walked away. “Where are you going?”

He chuckled, “Just to get a towel, unless you want to sleep in the wet spot.” She giggled, then he said, “By the time I’m done I intend for you to be dehydrated.” How could he do that, turn her on after making her laugh. He came back with a thick towel and a large glass of water. He put the water on the night stand and threw the duvet completely over her as he pulled the sheets down and put the towel over where he wanted her. She climbed out from under the duvet laughing; placed herself on the folded towel and reached for her now completely soaked underwear. “No darlin’ let me.” He grabbed the sides of her underwear and gently slipped them off as he followed down the inside of her thighs with his tongue. “God, you taste good.”

“What do I taste like?”

“Peaches and spice…you.”

“Come here, now it’s my turn.”

“Not quite yet.” With that his hands gently parted her legs. He was glad he hadn’t turned the lights down; he wanted to see her, all of her. She was a masterpiece, pink, swollen, and wetter than he thought possible. His dick twitched; he wanted to bury himself in her, to feel her around him, in him. But, not yet. His fingers parted her folds, feeling her clit as he circled it slowly. He moved his body up so they were eye to eye. Her eyes were closed. She moaned every time he brushed his thumb over her clit. “Look at me Seri. I want you with me. Just me.”

She opened her eyes; what she saw made her breath hitch. It wasn’t just lust, that was there of course; no, there was so much more. She couldn’t take her eyes from his. She turned her body towards his. That was when he put two fingers in her. She tried not to cry out, but he had to put his mouth over hers to keep the noise down. He wanted her to cum again while he looked in her eyes. He needed to see that. She pulled back and continued to meet his eyes. “Just us Len, no one else.”

He moved his fingers in and out a couple of times until he found her spot. He curled his fingers so he could hit it every time. She started to close her eyes. “No, please look at me.” She looked at him.

He kept going. “I’m cumming, please don’t stop. God, Len don’t stop.” This time he didn’t care who heard. He wanted this, to see her. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she tried to hold on. She felt like she was flying apart. Everything was white, everything but his eyes. Before she could stop cumming he rolled her on her back. As he took his fingers out he immediately pushed his full length into her. He stopped to give her body time to adjust.

She felt perfect, a word that kept coming to his mind. Soft, wet, he could feel every pulse of her walls. His eyes began to close. “Look at me. Stay with me.” He looked at her.

She pulled him in; not only into her body, but into her soul. She was his as much as he was hers, that was what made this exceptional. He reached between them and stroked her clit as he moved in and out of her at a steady pace. He adjusted to hit her g spot and matched his thrusts to his strokes. It wasn’t long before she started to shake clawing at his arms. “That’s my girl. Let go for me.” He growled as he felt her walls clamp down and a flood flow between her legs. It didn’t take long for him to lose himself in her. To cum was one thing, this was complete surrender. This night they each gave the other everything they were. He collapsed on top of her trying not to crush her, but also unable to really move.

“I love you Imzadi.”

“I love you too Peaches.”

He finally pulled out of her and rolled over. She found an end of the towel that was dry and wiped him off. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know. I wanted to. We are going to have to get cleaned up.”

“Once I can feel my legs.” She laughed.

“Joce is taking Jo here after lunch. She sent a message, said she thought we all needed the rest. What does she know about this trip?”

“Not much, but she is worried about you.”

Eventually they took a long hot shower and crawled back into bed. “I could sleep all day.”

“Not if that rooster has anything to say about it darlin’.” She cuddled up next to him as they both fell into a sound sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

The sun streamed through the windows. He tried to bury his head under the covers but it didn’t matter, the rooster was up. Jim had been up late talking to mama. By the time she was done she knew everything about him; almost everything. She knew things Len and Seri didn’t know. At least she knew things Len didn’t know; he never knew how much his “little sister” knew. He took a long shower, brushed his teeth and started to get dressed. He could smell the coffee, and the bacon cooking. That was it, mama had another son. Len would have to get over the fact that Jim found a family and wasn’t giving it up.

He knocked on Len’s door and went in not waiting for an answer. Shit! The bed hadn’t been slept in. Given the last day Jim was afraid Bones had been up all night. He went to Seri’s room and lightly knocked on the door; no answer. Quietly he opened the door and walked in. He realized he had nothing to worry about. _“It’s about time.”_

_“Get out.”_ He laughed to himself as he closed the door and headed down to breakfast.

Mama was waiting for him. “Good morning sunshine! Where are the other sleepy heads? Or were they up later than us?” Jim almost choked on his orange juice. “You think I can’t see what is in front of me? I know when my son is in love.”

He headed over to help her with the table. “Honestly Mama, I think last night was a first for them; but, I’m happy. I’ve never seen two people in love the way they are. You know she gave up her chance to see her family because he needed her? There is going to be hell to pay with her mother, especially when she finds out Seri may not be home for a few years.”

“Really? That long?”

“It takes a while to get to Betazed and, from the beginning of next term till commissioning the breaks will be short. She may not have the time. No, she gave that up for him. She loves me, she really does, and I know it is unconditional; but, she is in love with him.”

“Does that bother you?”

Jim thought about it. “No, it really doesn’t. I feel the same way about her. I would say if he hurts her I’ll kill him, but I know they will hurt each other. Not on purpose, but it will happen. I also know they will work through it.”

She was looking at him intently. “Do your friends know that about you?”

“What?”

“That you aren’t a kid. That Seri is right about you.”

He turned bright red. “No, only those two know. So I guess my friends do know.” He smiled at her.

“Could you go wake them? I think he wants to show you both the place before the little tornado makes her appearance.”

“Sure. Mama, are Callie and Ginny coming?”

“In a few days. They want to see their brother at least once before he leaves.”

Jim went up the back stairs to get them. The main staircase was too grand, he liked the back one more. He knocked on the door a couple of times, then he went in. “Jim get out.”

“Time to get up Bones. Mama sent me to wake you both up.”

“Shit! She knows.”

Seri looked at him, “Your mother isn’t an idiot. Why do you think she sent us up first?”

“Damn.”

“Bones, I think she figured out you aren’t a virgin. Oh, that reminds me she said you might want to show us around before Jo gets here.”

Len jumped up. “I almost forgot she was coming right after lunch. Let me get a shower and dressed. I’ll be right down.”

Seri was staring at Jim, I know you’ve seen me naked before, but do you think this time you could leave so I can get dressed?” Jim laughed as he left the room.

“He saw you naked?”

“Stomach bug, high fever; you were at work, I didn’t make it to the bathroom. I called him. He cleaned me up and stayed with me all night. He is a good man. Don’t tell him I said that.”

“He really is.”

Len got a shower while Seri brushed her teeth and did her hair. She threw on some makeup though she usually didn’t ware any; another thing her mother couldn’t understand. “Shit!”

“What?”

“Mother.”

“Has she called?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t looked at my PADD.”

“Why?”

“I’ve been otherwise occupied.” He smirked. They got dressed and headed down. It was 9:30 so there would be time for a tour before Jo came.

“You should check your PADD.”

“Not till after I eat. I want to enjoy breakfast.”

By the time they got down mama and Jim had finished their breakfast and cleaned their plates and glasses. “Morning kids, I’m taking Jim down to the bottom forty. He wants to see the new irrigation system.”

“Really Jim? I didn’t think you knew anything about it.”

“See Bones, there are still things about me that you don’t know.” They left the two late risers in the kitchen as they set out for their morning adventures.

“You know he worked with irrigation systems after Tarsus IV?”

“Do you think mama knows that?” Len was concerned about Jim’s reaction. Tarsus IV was one of the times in his life that Jim had a hard time confronting.

“I suspect that is why she is taking him. Are you sure your mother isn’t at least an empath? She reads people better than my mother can.”

“She isn’t. She just cares about people. If you let her she will love you for the rest of her life. Eggs?”

“Sure. Two, you know how I like them. I’ll make the toast.” Breakfast was amazing, farm fresh everything. They cleaned up, making sure everything was spotless before heading out.

“Do you want a tour of the house or the grounds first?”

“The grounds please; I miss the outdoors.”

“Alright, give me a minute.” He went to the bedroom and checked his PADD. Joce and Jo wouldn’t be there until 14:00. He grabbed two towels and headed back downstairs.

“What are the towels for?”

“You’ll see.” He smiled down at her. She drank in his smile. Tomorrow was Emory; she saw the date on his PADD. Let him have today. Tomorrow the smile would disappear. Speaking of disappearing smiles she thought, she would have to deal with her mother that night. “Come on Peaches.”

“Why do you call me Peaches?”

“Because you smell like the breeze that comes through my bedroom windows when the peach trees are in bloom.” She gave him a kiss that lasted a few seconds too long. His mother had two water bottles chilling in the refrigerator. Len grabbed them and, threw them in a bag with the towels as they headed out the kitchen door.

Jim and Mama arrived at the new pumping station. “That is huge. How big is the farm?”

“About fifteen hundred acres. It was bigger, but the previous owners sold some off.”

“You’re not the original owners?”

“No, we have only been here about four hundred years.” Jim stared at her blinking rapidly.

Lena McCoy started to laugh, really laugh. “Around Toccoa that isn’t long.” He ran his hands over the valves and the pipes. His hands started to shake. She came up next to him and put her arm around his waist. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“How did you know?”

“I knew when you said you were sent to your aunt and uncle on Tarsus IV. I’m a pretty intelligent woman you know. I have several degrees, so I can read. It didn’t take much to put it together.” She smiled softly up at him and pulled him to her.

He couldn’t help himself; Seri wasn’t there to ground him. Jim started to shake; the tears falling freely. “Why can’t I stop this?”

“You need to stop trying. Just let someone else be strong for you.”

“Now you sound like Bones.”

“I am his mother.”

Jim eventually calmed. He wondered if this is what having a mother was like. If it was, he was going to tell Bones how lucky he had it growing up. Maybe not with his father, but his mother she was an amazing person; much like her son. “Mama what are your degrees in?”

“Len never told you? My degrees are in; general psychology, human development, counseling psychology, and a PHD in adolescent and adult trauma. I work at Emory as a counseling psychologist with a specialty in trauma.”

“Why did you stop?”

“I didn’t. I took a few months off to be with my son and relax.” He looked at her skeptically. Was he just a project to her? “Jimmy, baby don’t do that. I’m not Dr. McCoy right now.” He knew she was right, knew that no matter where he went Lena McCoy’s farm would always be home.

“Where are we going? I thought I was getting the grand tour.”

Len looked at her. She was so damned beautiful. He wanted her to see who he was; see the places that meant something to him. “I thought we would start with my favorite place in the universe.” Her face lit up. They walked through the orchard and down towards a grove of pine trees. Seri could smell water. They arrived at a medium sized pond that had a brook running through it. The pine trees added their perfume to the smell of the fresh water. There was a small wooden shack near the far end of the pond and a hammock strung between two of the trees. It all looked like an idealized painting of Earth that Seri had seen back home. This was his world, the one place that was solely his. She could tell no one came here. The hammock hadn’t been used in a while and the door on the shed needed new hinges. “What do you think? I came here as a kid almost every day.”

“Leonard, it is beautiful. Every day?”

She felt him tense. “Yes. No one else liked it. I guess it wasn’t perfect. Mama used to come here. When she realized I was using it she let me have it. I guess she knew I needed this.”

“No judgement?”

He turned to look at her. She was still looking at the tableau. “Yes. I couldn’t fuck up here.”

She took his hand. “Let’s just enjoy. We need to talk later, but for now let’s just enjoy the day.” She looked up at him.

His eyes were searching hers. “Take off your clothes.” She looked surprised; not a normal look for a Betazoid.

“Excuse me.”

“Time for a swim.” There it was, the smile that went to his eyes. He started to strip and she happily followed his lead. The pond was only about five feet at its deepest so they could relax. She swam to him. The water was cool, but his skin was warm as she wrapped herself around him. They clung to each other as he kissed the area between her neck and shoulder. It was comfortable and safe. For now, it was just them. Then he ruined it. “Have you checked your PADD?”

“Shit! I forgot. I wanted to at least read the messages. Damn!”

“Sure you didn’t mean to forget?”

“Probably did. Are you sure you don’t want to be a psychiatrist?”

“That’s mama’s field. I wouldn’t be good at it. I don’t like people.” She laughed. “You didn’t tell me what your mom does. It explains a lot. At least I know she can handle Jim.”

He laughed at the thought of Jim trying to get something past his mother. They stayed in the pond for almost half an hour; cool water and warm flesh was an intoxicating combination. “Do you want to meet the horses?”

“Horses?! I would love to!”

“Good, because if we stay here any longer we will need a nap along with a shower.” She had felt him getting hard; but, she also knew all he wanted was some lazy time with her in his place. So she didn’t push the issue.

They quickly dried off, dressed, and headed to the stables. There were four horses and one ornery pony housed there. A beautiful black thoroughbred stallion came to his stall door as soon as he heard Len’s voice. “This is Blackjack. He is my buddy.” Seri approached him. He nuzzled the hand she offered. “He never does that.”

“My dad and I have a way with horses. Most Betazoids don’t care for them, wild and erratic emotions. Dad and I could block that; made riding fun.”

He introduced her to all of them. Seri fell in love with a paint quarter horse gelding. “His name is Cincinnati.”

“I promised Jo I would go riding with her when we met. Do you think she would mind if I took him?”

“No, she prefers to ride Ollie. He is only 14-9.”

“Great! Maybe we could go riding next week.”

He was surprised. “I didn’t know you were planning to stay that long.”

“I can leave earlier if you want. I know you need this time with your family.”

“Peaches, you are my family. You and Jim are my family as much as mama, Jo, and Joce.”

“Not your sisters?”

He grabbed a carrot and went to Blackjack. The horse started throwing his head in excitement. “There you go boy. Did you think I left you? Mama and Jim must be back at the house by now.” They headed back in silence.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was so strained between you and them.”

“It will be. They both worshipped dad. I was the disappointing big brother. I need to tell them what happened. I also need to tell mama. You understand part of me knows this may be the last time I am welcomed home. When they know the truth, this may all end.” They finally arrived at the back porch.

She wouldn’t let him go up the stairs until she had her say. “I doubt your mother would turn you out. She knows you, probably better than you do. I haven’t met your sisters so I am reserving my opinion there.”

“I’ll tell her tonight after Jo leaves. I asked Joce if she could come to stay after Emory. I don’t want my baby here for that. Hell I don’t want you or Jim here. But, I need you both; I can’t do this without both of you.”


	7. chapter 7

Jim had lunch on the table; leftover turkey carved for sandwiches, rolls and all the side dishes.  He looked tired.  Seri mentally reached for him. _“Not now kiddo.  But I need to talk. Just not now.”_

_“Are you ok?”_

_“I will be.”_

“Jim are you okay?” 

 

“I will be Bones.  It was a very interesting morning.  Mama had to go to town, said to relax she would be back before 14:00.” 

 

It was already 13:00, Jo would be there soon.  Len was excited but scared.  What if Joce thought he was a murderer; she would definitely take Jo from him.  What if this was his last day with his baby? _“Stop doing that. You are ruining your life worrying about things that may never happen.  Enjoy the now.  The future will come and we will help you no matter what the outcome is.”_

_“I know.”_   They cleaned after which Seri excused herself to fix her hair and makeup.  She knew those two needed some time together, even if it was to simply sit on the porch and enjoy a beer.

 

“Hey Jim, y’all want to grab a couple of beers?  I’ll meet you on the front porch.”   Jim grabbed the beers and headed out.  The last time they were alone, Bones spent the entire time telling Jim he was a controlling asshole who should leave him the fuck alone.  That was a mere twenty-four hours before.  Now they were going to quietly sit on the front porch near one of the white columns and either say nothing, or work through this.  Either way, by the end things would be better.  Both men sat in silence watching the geese move across the yard.  “I’m sorry kid.  I didn’t mean it.  I’m an ass when I’m scared.” 

 

Jim looked at him.  He loved his “big brother”; Leonard may have been the first person Jim ever truly loved.  He knew Len hadn’t meant it; he knew it as it was happening.  The apology wasn’t necessary for him, but he knew it was necessary for Len.  “It’s okay Bones. It really is.”

 

“No kid it isn’t.  You don’t have to do this.  You could be home with your family.  Instead you are here with my angry ass.”

 

“I am with my family.  And you aren’t angry, you are scared, and lost.” Len looked surprised. “You know I’m not just a child fucking his way through the student body?” The older man’s eyebrow shot up.  “You know I’m not, and don’t try to change the subject.  Please talk to me.  Tell me what has you so scared.  I have never seen you scared before yesterday. Space flight doesn’t count.  By the way I wouldn’t go after Seri like that again. I doubt it would end well for you.”

 

“Yeah, not one of my finer moments.”

 

He took a deep breath as he looked at the floor.  He couldn’t look at Jim’s face and get through it.  He told him everything; how his father was dying in pain, his mom there every day with her husband, his father begging him to end it; begging his son to kill him.  He made his son a murderer.  “You aren’t a murderer.” Jim knelt in front of his brother and forced Bones to look him in the eye.  “It was physician assisted suicide, not murder.”

 

“I was his son, forget that assisted suicide is legal, it is unethical for me to treat him.  It was damn sure unethical and illegal for me to kill him. He wins again and I will lose everything because of what I did.  They’ll take everything, my license, everything.” 

 

Jim stood and started to pace.  “Who knows?”

 

Len looked at him.  Where was he going with this? “You, me, Seri; but, I am telling mama tonight.  I can’t live not telling her.  I know it is selfish, but I need to.  Please don’t tell me I shouldn’t.”

 

Jim pulled up a chair and sat directly in front of him.  “Look at me.” Len looked him directly in the eye, not flinching. “No one else; tell no one else.  Tomorrow we’ll see what Emory has to say.”

 

“They have to know.  Why else would they want me to come in? I turned everything off, then I went to the nurse and said I thought my dad had died.”

 

“Had you turned it back on? This is important.”  “I don’t know.”

 

“Think.”

 

“I can’t.”  Just then a hovercraft pulled up the drive.

 

“DADDY!!” Joanna McCoy had barely waited for the hovercraft to stop when she jumped out and ran to her father. He ran to meet her, scooping her up just before she reached the steps.  She had her arms around his neck, squeezing as hard as she could. 

 

He buried his face in her hair, she smelled so good.  He had his little girl, daddy’s little girl.  “Hi Turtle. I love you baby.”

 

“I love you too daddy.”  He closed his eyes; he didn’t want to cry; she would think he was sad.  Seven-year-old little girls shouldn’t understand what he was feeling.  He never wanted to let her go.

 

Joce got out of the craft and headed toward the porch and Jim.  She wanted the father and daughter reunion to last as long as possible.  Jim met her at the bottom of the stairs.  “Hi! I’m Jim Kirk.” He extended hand which she took gladly. 

 

“Jocelyn McCoy.  Len has mentioned you.  So I am sure you know I’m the bitch of an ex-wife.”

 

Jim laughed, “He never said that.  Other things yes, but not that.”  She laughed.

 

“Hi Joce.” She turned towards her ex-husband, what she saw concerned her. He looked tired and his eyes were rimmed red.  He gave her a kiss on the cheek which she returned. 

 

“I would ask how you are Len; but, you’ll only lie and tell me you are fine.  So, let’s just skip that.  But, I am worried about you.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

“Sure let me just snap my fingers.  There now I don’t care anymore.” Len knew he wouldn’t win this one.  Why were all of the women in his life like this; strong willed.  Oh, that’s right, he always liked strong, intelligent women.  Some days he needed to remind himself of that. 

 

Jocelyn McCoy was almost a foot shorter than her ex, but she definitely made up for it with her attitude.  Jim liked her.  Many things can affect a marriage and Jim would never judge, it usually was the fault of both partners. But it was clear to him that Jocelyn still loved Len, not in love with him, but she definitely had some love for him.  Len felt the same way about her.  He didn’t love her the way he loved Seri, but he still felt some love for her.  Jim looked at all of them “I think I heard mama come home. I’ll tell her and Seri you got here.” 

 

He headed in giving them some time. “Baby, why don’t you go in with Mr. Kirk and get grandma.  Your mom and I need to talk.”  She gave her daddy a kiss on the cheek as he put her down.  She ran up the stairs after Jim, ponytail bouncing.

 

“Okay Joce let me have it.  I don’t take care of myself, I don’t call enough, what is it?” They walked towards the pecan trees.  

 

“Are you done?  Good. My turn. What are you scared of darlin’?”

 

He stopped short. “What do you know? Who talked to you?”

 

She saw him start to panic.  “Len, no one told me anything. I just know you.” Her voice had become soft, caring, “You only get like this when you are scared.  Just like when your dad died.  You seemed angry for so long.  It helped destroy us.  I didn’t understand what it was until after you were gone.  I just don’t want to see you go down that rabbit hole again.”

 

“I’m not. I have people helping me.  You met Jim, Seriana is inside.”

 

She smiled; his face said it all. “You’re in love.  Good for you. You deserve it.” She kissed him on the cheek. “You always did.” Joce turned and walked back to the house.  He would be okay.  She felt it, he had strong people with him.  Good for Len. 

 

He watched her as she climbed the stairs.  Did he deserve it? He doubted it, but was grateful none the less.  He followed her back to the house.  Jim, Seri, and Jo were waiting on the porch.

 

“I’ll be back around seven to get her.” 

 

“Mooommmmm!!! Why can’t I stay all night?  I want to stay with Daddy.” 

 

Len walked over to his baby and stooped down in front of her, “Jo, I would love for you to stay; but, I have a lot of meetings at the hospital so, I won’t have time for the next few days.  Your mom and I wanted to make sure we saw each other today. But, after the meetings I promise your mom will bring you back here for a few days.  Maybe we can all go riding then.”  With that Jo brightened up. 

 

Joce had introduced herself to Seri.  Seri liked her; she felt the love Joce had for her family.  Len stood up. “I’ll have her ready at seven.” Joce headed out while Len took Jo’s hand and headed to the stables. 

 

Seri looked at Jim, “Should we help Mama?”

 

“I don’t think so. She kicked me out of the kitchen right before I came to get you.  She said something about us talking.  That I was a stubborn pain in the ass who needs to reach out for help.”

 

Seri laughed, “She really has you figured out.  What do you want to talk about?” She could feel how nervous he was.  “Jim, lets go for a walk.”

 

They went the opposite way of Len and Jo, toward the cow pasture.  The McCoy’s had about fifty cows for milk.  They walked in silence until they came to the split rail fence.  _“Jim, you can always talk to me.  You know that.”_

_“I do.  You know you still haven’t checked your PADD.”_

_“I am aware.  Stop the avoidance.”_

_“Look who’s talking.”_

_“I’ll deal with her after Jo leaves.  Better?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“What is bothering you?”_

Jim looked at her, “What do you know about Tarsus IV?” 

 

“What I studied in my childhood trauma class.  I also know you were there.”

 

“Oh, does Len know?”

 

“Yes. You talk during your nightmares.”

 

“Have you been in my head during them?”

 

“No. But, if you want we can do that. I can guide your dream.”

 

“Please not today.”

 

“Okay. Baby, I would never do that to you without your permission.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Jim what do you want to tell me.  It’s just us here.  You can tell me anything.” He could feel her love for him.

 

“I can’t stop the fear some days.  I’ll smell something; or, like today, I’ll touch something, and I’m back there hiding, watching my little cousin die.  She was only five and she thought I could fix anything.  I couldn’t.”  He looked at her not knowing if he could tell her.  No one knew this, no one.  If Bones thought he was a murderer because of his father; Jim was positive he was after Tarsus IV.  Jim knew what it was to kill someone who had done nothing but trust him and love him. 

 

“What was your cousin’s name?” “Kallie.”

 

“Jim would this be easier telepathically?” 

 

“No! Sorry, no I need to say this, I need to **say** it.  You know what Kodos did, the mass killings. Everyone heard about that and the escape of the group of children.  What no one knows is he caught some of those children.  He tortured them trying to find out where the others were.  We could hear their screams.  It went on for hours until he finally killed them. One day Kallie and I were trapped.  Kodos’ men were going to find us.  She was so sick and weak.” His breathing was ragged and he started to hyperventilate. 

 

“Jim, I need you to sit down.”  After they sat on the ground she took his hand in hers and placed it on her chest. “Feel me breathe. Concentrate only on my breathing.” He started to calm. “Do you want to continue, or would you rather wait?”

 

“I think I need to wait.”

 

____________________

 

Leonard started to move; the nightmare played in his head.  Jim got up and moved to his side of the bed.  Seri went to take care of him, but Jim’s look assured her that he had this.  Jim knew everything that happened on Mylus; even more than Seri.  Part of him wanted to destroy all of them.  He was grateful he didn’t have any red matter.  If he did Mylus might not still exist. “I’m here Bones. You’re safe.  
No one can touch you.” If anyone understood these nightmares it was James Kirk. _“Kiddo, why don’t you go get some sleep?  I can’t sleep anyway.”_ She got up and made her way to her cabin.  She needed rest, but doubted sleep would come.  She knew Jim needed to do this.

 

“I’m sorry Bones.  None of this was supposed to happen.” How had all of this happened? It didn’t matter.  What mattered was them, the three of them; the family. “I’m here.  I’m not going anywhere. Remember, brothers forever.  We made that pact years ago.” He wanted to fix the pain, take it away.  Only he could truly understand what the doctor was going through.  How do you get past allowing someone you love, someone you are responsible for, die?  This wasn’t turning off life support. This was active participation; to actively have killed to save the one you love.  Killed them to stop the pain; killed part of yourself to release them.

 

Bones startled awake. He couldn’t feel Seri but he knew he wasn’t alone. “Lights 50%.” Jim wasn’t taking his eyes from Bones. “Hi kid.” He rubbed his face.

 

Jim’s expression was neutral, “Let me see your back.”

 

If Jim had punched him in the gut it might have hurt less.  “So you know.” It was not a question.

 

“Yes.”

 

“All of it?”

 

“The reports are quite detailed.  Those two should be writers, not in security.” He didn’t tell Len he had also read the autopsy report; though, Len may have assumed he did.

 

“I’ll hand in my resignation by morning.”

 

“I won’t accept it. I have the best damned CMO in the fleet. You can’t think I would let him go without a fight?”

 

McCoy turned to look at him. There was a strained smile on the kid’s face. “You may have to.  CMO’s need to be licensed.”

 

“Why would you lose your license?”

 

“I broke my oath. ’First do no harm’. Tell me that what I did adhered to that. Tell me that Captain!” He was yelling by the end; something Jim was waiting for, something his friend needed.  Len got up and headed for the bourbon. 

 

Jim didn’t move, “Could he have survived the next round of torture?”

 

The bourbon was poured. “Would they have taken anyone else, or would it definitely have been him?”

 

The bourbon was finished in one shot and another glass poured.  “Answer me.  These aren’t rhetorical questions doctor.”

 

“I don’t know Captain.” He finished the second glass. 

 

“Don’t you?  Tell me, how many of you had they touched?”

 

Jim made his was over to Len and stood behind him; close enough to be felt, but not touching. “Just him, just Pavel.”

 

“Was he in pain?”

 

 “Yes.”

 

“A lot?”

 

“Yes.” The doctor’s voice was a whisper.

 

“Could he have survived more torture?”

 

“No.”

 

“Would he have done nothing but suffered and died in fear, with only his captors around him?”

 

“Yes. Jim please stop.  I can’t do this.”

 

“No. You can. You are one of the strongest men I know.  You can do this.” 

 

The glass fell to the floor as Jim grabbed Len before his legs gave out. “Please Jim, please.” As he turned Len around he was careful not to touch his friend’s lower back.  He started to take off Len’s blue shirt.  Though he allowed Jim to do this, he stopped him when Jim went to remove the black undershirt. “Please don’t.  Just let it go.  I’ll be fine.”

 

“No.”  The tone was more captain than friend.  He was done requesting.  The black shirt was removed along with the bandages around his torso.  Jim took a deep breath when he saw the amount of damage, not just to the doctor’s lower back, but also his abdomen.  Jim knew it was bad, but clearly there were things missing from the reports.  Maybe no one else knew.  Maybe they thought it wasn’t this bad.  Len was a doctor; he could hide some of it. 

 

“Jim. I’ll be fine; just need a couple of days.  The burns may take a little longer than the cuts, but I’ll be fine.”

 

Jim pulled out his comm, “Dr. Targan, please report to Dr. McCoy’s cabin, we have a medical situation.”

 

“Jim!”

 

“Bones, please sit down. It will be alright.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

Seri had gone to Jim’s cabin.  She could feel Len too keenly if she was only across the hall.  If she was right there, there was no way she was falling asleep.  She allowed herself to drift back to that summer.  When Jim trusted them with more than he trusted anyone else.  He trusted them with his heart and his future.  “Jim, when you are ready we’ll talk.”

 

_“Can Bones be there?”_

_“Absolutely, let’s go back”_

Joanna was skipping towards the house well in front of her dad.  “Miss Seri!  Dad said you want to ride Cince.  Maybe we could do that for my birthday.  Mr. Kirk, do you know how to ride?”

 

“Yes Jo.  I started riding when I was younger than you.”

 

“Wow!” Her eyes grew wide, “So you’ve been riding forever.”

 

Jim laughed as he picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  He needed that; he needed all of this. “Yep!  As your dad would say ‘since before the flood’” She giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

“Nothing Bones, just that I am older than dirt.”

 

“Mr. Kirk, will you come riding with us? You can have Red.  He is really sweet.”

 

“I would love to.  Thanks for asking an old man.” He kissed her again as he put her down. 

 

Len was beaming.  His little girl. “We should start in.  I’m sure Grandma has dinner almost ready.”  They all started up the stairs.  Jo grabbed Jim’s hand and started swinging their arms back and forth giggling the entire way. 

 

Seri hadn’t said a word; her expression neutral.  “What’s wrong Peaches?”

 

“Nothing.  Jim needs to talk to both of us later.  Do you mind?  I think his adventure with your mom brought some stuff up.”

 

Concern showed in his eyes.  “Mama has a habit of doing that.  Sometimes think she should leave people alone.  People don’t want to relive old mistakes.  They want to forget and move on.”

 

She took his hand in hers, “Do they?  Do they really move on Len?  Do they need to forget, or do they need to face their past and accept it?”

 

“Let’s go inside.  Dinner must be ready.” Emory was coming faster than he wanted.

 

Seven o’clock came too soon.  Joce pulled up, she could see something was wrong with Len, but didn’t pry.  “Thanks Joce, I really needed this.”

 

“I know you did.  Whatever our differences, you are a good father, and a good man.” His eyes closed.  He wasn’t a good man.  After everything they had been through she had to know that. “I love you donkey.  If you need me just call.  I’ll keep my PADD with me.”  She gave him a kiss on the cheek, loaded Jo into the hovercraft and left.

 

The sky was black, no stars.  There was a storm coming.  If that wasn’t the perfect metaphor for his life, Len didn’t know what was.  Footsteps came up behind him; light and slightly tentative.  “It’s okay Peaches. I’m fine.”

 

“Liar.”

 

“Have you looked at your PADD yet?”

 

“Kill joy.”

 

“You need to.  I’m going to help Mama clean up.  I need to talk to her before tomorrow.”  


“Do you want me in your head? I can do that; stay with you.”

 

He kissed her forehead, she would keep him safe.  Funny, he never knew he needed that.  He was the doctor; he kept others safe. “I need to do this on my own. But, if I need you, I’ll reach out.  Now get going.  Time to face the executioner.”

 

Wow!  That was a glare, the likes of which he had never seen from her.  “Thanks.”

 

He smiled sweetly at her. “Remember baby, you can always shut a PADD off.”

 

Rain fell lightly, but the distant thunder warned of the storm making its way towards the McCoy farm.  The house smelled of chocolate chip cookies and old books.  The rain made all of the smells more intense.  Seri got her PADD and headed for the library she had noticed their first night while walking up the grand staircase.  Dark wood panels accented the walls that were not covered by floor to ceiling book cases.  A library table sat atop a silk Persian carpet in the middle of the room.  Each corner had an oxblood leather winged back chair that could easily hold two people.  Both windows had deep windowsills, one of which held a window seat.  This explained his love of the coffee shop; dark wood with rich smells.  Only here it was leather and old books.

 

She found a dark corner and sat down; time to face the executioner.  The PADD showed thirty missed calls from her mother.  After a deep breath she placed the call.  The call was answered almost immediately.  Her mother’s face glared at her from the PADD.  “Nice of you to finally call me.  You could have been dead.  I guess it doesn’t matter it is only your family.  Why should we matter...” Lenoxia Targan went on for at least twenty minutes informing Seri of how unfeeling, uncaring, and irresponsible she was.  How she should be more like her sister and show more respect for her parents.  So far Seri hadn’t been able to get a word in. 

 

Jim came into the room somewhere between disappointment and ungrateful. _“How’s it going?”_

_“What?  I stopped listening a while ago.  Honestly I’m done.”_ “Mother! Stop! I am here, and I will be here as long as I am needed.  I have never been able to make you happy, and frankly I stopped trying years ago.  I may be able to get home later, but honestly it weren’t for dad I wouldn’t even try.  And by the way, as for respect, it is earned, not bestowed.”  With that she turned her PADD off.

 

“Damn that’s my girl.”  He turned to look at her, “Kiddo are you okay?”

 

She sat in the chair shaking.  “How can she do that to me?  I have worked so hard not to be that scared little girl.  She can reduce me to an eight-year-old. Damn It!”

 

Two blue eyes stared at her.  She didn’t realize that he had knelt in front of her.  Without a word he sat next to her and held her in his arms.  As her shaking subsided she realized one thing; this would never happen again. “Kiddo, you deserve respect.  You just have to ask yourself some hard questions about what you want from life.  Whatever you decide, I will always be with you.  Family forever, right?”

 

“I never want to see her again.”

 

“You will have to at some point, but you won’t have to do it alone if you don’t want to.”

 

“Maybe one day. Just not now.”

 

“Fair enough.” The rain beat against the westward facing window as the storm intensified.  The four hounds had been fed and were all lying in the entryway.  She closed her eyes and allowed herself to enjoy the peace of this home.  It was a home, where she grew up was a house.  Her mother’s presence took away any calm her father tried to bestow on the family.  She wanted to bring him to this farm one day. “I have to go unpack.  I have a feeling we may be here awhile.  What do you think kiddo?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll go find a place for my stuff.” The diversion worked; but, then again, part of her was at the McCoy kitchen table.  “Jim, he’s telling her now.  No matter how it goes, it won’t be easy.”

 

“If anyone asks how my vacation went, I swear I’m going to laugh in their face.”

 

 

The McCoy kitchen was always the place extremely important conversations took place.  All others were relegated to the den or the front porch.  “Mama, I need to talk to you.” He sat down across from her as he ran his hands through his hair.

 

“I was wondering when you would decide to tell me what was bothering you.”

 

“Do you know why Emory wants to talk to me?”

 

“No, they wouldn’t say.  They only said it was important for you to come in.”

 

He got up from the table.  He needed to pace; that was the only way he could get through telling his mother that her only son killed her husband. “It was about how dad died.”

 

“I thought it might have something to do with that.”

 

He started to shake, but the pacing hid most of it. “His heart didn’t just stop. He was in so much pain.  Nothing could stop the pain; there was no cure.  He couldn’t do it anymore.  I didn’t want to do it, but he begged me.  I didn’t want to.  I…” She stood in front of him.  Leonard didn’t know she had gotten up. He was rambling; his thoughts disjointed. “Please don’t hate me.  I can’t live with that.  I know Joce will take Jo away.  I can’t lose you too.  Just please don’t hate me.”

 

“Baby, sit down.” He sat next to her on the long bench at the table. “Look at me.”  He shook his head as he continued to look at the floor. “Leonard Horatio McCoy, look at me.” He obeyed.  She took his face in her hands.  “I know baby. I have always known.  No one’s heart just stops the way his did.  I also know what it cost you.” She moved her arm around his shoulders, and placed her other hand behind his head.  She held him as he shook in her arms.

 

“They are going to take everything; my license, everything.  He wins again.”

 

“No he doesn’t.  He only gets what you allow them to take.  Tomorrow you will find out what they want; give them nothing.  Then we will talk.  I refuse to let that group of castrati do anything to you.”

 

“You may not have a choice.  He made me a murderer.”

 

She released him.  “You are not a murderer Dr. McCoy.  Don’t ever think or say that.”

 

“You don’t hate me?”

 

“No baby. You did the right thing.”

 

“But they found a cure.”

 

“Did you know they would?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then you did the right thing. You showed mercy to your father though it cost you.  You were always a better man than he was.”

 

His eyes snapped to meet hers. “No, I’m not! He never killed anyone.  He had a good marriage.  Look at the mess I’ve made.”

 

“Are you so sure about those things? Are you positive he never killed anyone under his care because he made a mistake? Are you sure he had a good marriage? You don’t know the mess he made.  Don’t look so shocked.  Without a doubt I know he lost patients because of his arrogance.  Our marriage became more of a business agreement when I found out how many women he was screwing.  Mostly I kept it together for your sisters.  You were already grown and at Ole Miss when I found out everything.  I am so sorry I didn’t see it sooner.  In you he saw everything he wasn’t, and he punished you for it.  I should have seen it.  I should have stopped it.  I am so sorry for everything.”

 

He loved her more than he thought possible.  Understood her more than he thought he ever could.  As he pulled her into his arms he realized that no matter what happened he couldn’t lose everything.  Everything was that little girl and the people under this roof.  “I love you Mama.  You have nothing to be sorry for.”

 

“Neither do you baby.”  They stayed there holding each other as the thunder rolled through.


	9. chapter 9

Seri got Jim’s message and headed back to Len’s cabin.  Scared as she was about what she might find; nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.  Len stood in the middle of the room, his stomach covered in burns and cuts.  Some of the cuts were held together with surgical adhesive strips but she could almost see the subcutaneous tissue; they were deep, too deep.  A deep breath helped her go into doctor mode. 

 

Len looked embarrassed; he hadn’t wanted anyone to see him like this. “Go away.”

 

“She stays, or you go to sickbay.” There was no doubt that at that moment Jim was the captain.  He loved Len, but right now his brother needed him to be in command of the situation more than he needed compassion.

 

A quick assessment of the wounds on his back and abdomen was done. Seri opened her comm., “Dr. M’Benga can you send someone to Dr. McCoy’s quarters with a tricorder, surgical masks, surgical caps, a hand encaser, and a dermal regenerator?”

 

“Certainly doctor.  Do you require assistance?”

 

“Not at this time, but thank you.”  She looked at the patient, “Will I need any assistance?”

 

“No.” His voice was all but a whisper.

 

It wasn’t long before the aid arrived with all the doctor had requested.  The captain met her at the door; he didn’t want whoever came to see McCoy as exposed as he was. He thanked the aid and returned with the box.  “Do you think you’ll need anything else?”

 

“Probably, but this is a good start.  Do you think Spock or Sulu could take your next shift?”

 

“I’ll ask Spock.  I pulled Sulu from the duty roster until we get back to Earth.”

 

“That was a good idea.  Len, I need you to listen to me very carefully.  I’m going to need to use the dermal regenerator on the third degree burns.  From there I’ll work to revise the lacerations.  It would be better if I did this in the medbay.”

“No.  No medbay.”  They couldn’t see him, not like this.  The stares that would come later would be too much.

 

“Okay, but you understand what that means?”  His eyes never left the wall in front of him, but he was listening.  “Leonard, do you understand what I just said?”

 

“Yes, just do it.”  His jaw was set.

 

She called M’Benga “Doctor, can you send a 10 laser, a 15 laser, and a wound closer to Dr. McCoy’s quarters?  Also I need the strongest local anesthetic we have with a handful of old fashioned syringes with needles, you pick the gauge, and an IV kit with a banana bag.”

 

“Are you sure?  We could do it without the local in sickbay.  It might be easier to sedate the patient.”

 

“It would; but the patient is refusing.  Oh, I also need two hypos of .5 Ativan if we have it.  I know it’s an old drug, but I think it would work best in this case.”

 

“I’ll have it all sent down along with a stretcher.  The height may help you.”

 

“Thank you.  I owe you one.” 

 

Jim had been on his comm. for a while.  Spock was worried about his friend and all but demanded a detailed update.  Seriana was all business, “Leonard I need you to stay with me.  This is one of those times I will go into your head invited or not.  If you stay with me, I won’t.  Do you understand?”  He just nodded.  It took all of his control not to let the tears fall.  He was embarrassed enough, crying would be too much.

 

The aid arrived with everything Seri had requested, and a few other things M’Benga thought she might need later.  Jim met the aid outside the room and wheeled everything in himself.  “Lights 100%.  Captain can you come here?  I am going to need some help.  Just put on this cap and mask, scrub your hands and run them through the encaser.  Leonard I need you to undress, and lie down on the stretcher.” Jim had never seen this side of her; efficient, focused, the surgeon.

 

Len removed his clothes, and laid on the table staring at the ceiling.  He couldn’t think, couldn’t feel.  All he could do was count the ceiling tiles. “Leonard look at me.” He turned his head slowly and looked straight through her, his eyes dead.  Her voice shifted as she slowly ran her hand through his hair. “Imzadi I’m here.  We need to do this, but I promise you we’ll keep you safe.  I won’t hurt you baby.  I know you’re scared, but we will be with you every second.  I’m giving you the hypo spray of Ativan; it should help with the anxiety.”

 

Jim stepped in behind her so Len could see him. “We’re here. Remember, brothers forever.”

 

With that Seri gently touched the hypo to his neck.  Almost instantly he began to relax and close his eyes.  “Don’t fight it baby.  Go to sleep.  I promise we’ll keep you safe.  I love you.”  That was the last thing he heard before he allowed the drug to envelope him.

 

“Will he stay asleep?”

 

Seri was putting the cap on Len then started to put hers on.  “Probably not.  When he wakes up I’ll need you to talk to him, keep him calm.”  She tied on her mask as she reached for the sheets M’Benga had sent.

 

“Kiddo, can you do this?”

 

She pulled the sheet up over his hips and draping another one over his chest to keep him as warm as possible.  “I don’t have much of a choice.  Psychologically he can’t handle waking up in sickbay, or having anyone else touch him.  He is fucking lucky; none of these seem infected.  I’ll do the front first since it seems to be the worst.”  She scrubbed her hands and ran them through the encaser.  “Can you hand me the dermal regenerator?” 

 

Jim had seen worse, but he had never seen the surgical end of the messes.  Certainly he never had to help put his brother back together.  “Seri, will he be okay?”

 

“Physically, yes; the rest will take longer.  You know I think I preferred it when he was screaming.  At least then he was fighting.  When he wakes up, talk to him about going home; talk to him about Joanna.  Give him a reason to come back from this.” 

 

She started the dermal regeneration of the first and second degree burns.  It wouldn’t hurt as much as the third degree, and she figured he would most likely sleep through those.  The third degree would be a different story. Jim kept an eye on the burns as she worked on them.  It surprised him how quickly they healed, leaving only slightly pink lines on the skin.  Seri was an excellent surgeon even if it wasn’t her true vocation.

 

“That was the easy part.  He won’t be able to sleep through this.  Put your hands on his shoulders.  You may need to hold him down.” She reached over and attached the four point restraints to his ankles and wrists, and the strap across his chest.  M’Benga did a great job anticipating their needs.

 

“Won’t that scare him?”

 

“Probably, but it is better than me cutting into his abdominal wall.  Besides we can talk him down.  I know this isn’t in the description of captain.”

 

“It is.  It is also in the description of brother.”  She could feel Jim; hurt, scared, protective and determined.  He was doing his best to keep the anger at bay, but Seri could still feel it. 

 

She started to debrided the third degree burns around the edges at first; then she carefully worked her way in.  M’Benga had included forceps, clamps, scissors, and irrigation syringes filled with saline.  The dressings he included were both burn dressings as well as standard no stick, just in case she couldn’t use the regenerator yet.  She hadn’t thought of all that could go wrong; probably why you should never treat your own family.  That was hard on a ship where everyone was family.  She made a mental note to get M’Benga two bottles of his favorite scotch when they docked at Earth.

 

As she started to pull the burnt tissue from the wound, McCoy woke up screaming. “No! I won’t tell you anything! Fuck all of you to hell!” She stopped quickly.  Jim was talking to Len, but he couldn’t hear him.  Len was stuck in Hell, having his skin flayed from his body.

 

 _“Imzadi, I need you to hear me. You are with us on the Enterprise. Jim and I are with you. You are completely safe.”_ “Jim help me untie him.” _“Len can you hear me? I need you with me. We are taking the restraints off.”_

“Peaches?” He tried to focus his eyes.  He needed to see her; to know it wasn’t a dream.

 

“I’m here baby. You’re safe.”

 

Jim had all five restraints off before she could help him.  “Bones, we are here. Just us.”

 

“Peaches, please make it stop.  I can’t make it stop.”

 

She looked at Jim.  This was going to get a lot worse before it got better.  What did he need to stop? “What do you want to stop?  Tell me baby.”

 

“I can’t do this anymore.  Make it stop.  If you love me, you’ll make it stop.”

 

They thought that summer in Georgia was as bad as it could get; then came Nero, Kahn, and Krall; now this. “You can do this.  You don’t get to leave; not yet.  Bones we are all in this together.  Hold onto us. We’ll get you through it.  We are headed home.  Joanna is waiting for her daddy.”  Jim’s statement broke through to Leonard.  Joanna, he needed to see her, to hold her.  He needed to be a part of Seriana.  He wasn’t his father; this wasn’t the same.  The panic eased.

 

“Let’s take a break baby.  We’ll sit here for a little, then we’ll start again.”  She called M’Benga, he sent down four hypos of kerioid.  Seri had asked for two, but he wanted to be safe.  Kerioid was a strong painkiller; not something used often, but for what she had to do to the third degree burns, it would be necessary. They sat on either side of Len, grateful the stretcher was the widest the Enterprise had.  He laid on Seri’s shoulder, and held Jim’s hand so tightly that it would need to be checked for any fractures.  Eventually the Ativan took hold again, and his eyes closed. “Jim, let’s give him until he wakes.  He’ll need his strength.  I’ll cover the burns and lacerations for now.  You can go if you want.  You need some sleep.”

 

“I’ll sleep on his bed. I’m not leaving.”

 

“Jim, may I have the reports?” He thought about it, then handed her his PADD.”

 

Jim laid on Len’s bed.  It smelled like Len and Seri.  All he needed was the smell of cookies and horses and it would smell just like home. He thought back to that summer.  They told each other their darkest secrets and allowed each other into their souls.  Now they were here; the best Starfleet had.  Without that summer they never would have gotten this far.  He would be damned if he lost Bones to the animals on Mylus.  He lost Pavel, he couldn’t lose his brother.  Jim drifted off thinking about his home; the McCoy farm. 

 

______________________

 

His room smelled like Jasmine and rain the night of the big storm.  The smell of chocolate chip cookies permeated the entire home.  As bad as things could get, under this roof was safety; something Jim had never felt before now.  Len had picked out one of the best rooms in the house for Jim.  His sisters would be pissed, they both liked this room when they came to visit; but Len had other things in mind.  During the drive home he decided to ask Mama if this could be Jim’s room. A place for him to call home, somewhere for him to go and feel secure. Jim didn’t know this, and Len hadn’t asked yet, but knowing Mama the answer would definitely be yes.  The room was as big as Len’s; it had its own bathroom, balcony, and sitting area.  There was a fireplace on one wall with a couch in front of it, and a large cherry sleigh bed facing it.  There were glass panel doors that led out to the balcony in the front of the house along with two floor to ceiling windows on the same wall.  Also, like Len’s room, the walls had mahogany wainscoting. 

 

He could feel Seri across the hall, she was worried.  Jim couldn’t figure out who had her worried, so he assumed it was both of them.  Len was telling his mother everything, and he was still drifting back to Tarsus IV.  That poor kid; days like this it must suck to be a telepath.  He wasn’t wrong.  The past two days had been hard on her, but there had been some amazing things in the middle of the turmoil.

 

Jim didn’t hear the soft knock at his door; he was too lost looking out the rain battered doors.  She walked in, unless he had someone with him she always just walked in if he didn’t answer.  Bare feet quietly padded up behind him. “What are you up to Kiddo?”

 

“I didn’t think you heard me.” He turned to her; tears fell quietly down his cheeks.  She had known something was wrong, but tonight everyone’s emotions were running high.  She didn’t know she would find this. “Talk to me Jim.  Just talk to me about anything.”  She needed to get him talking.  She put her arms around his waist and drew him to her.

 

“I don’t know Kiddo.  I don’t know anything.  So much for the Academy’s golden child.” He rested his head on her shoulder. “I’m not George Kirk.  Somedays I think that is all anyone wants me to be; some larger than life hero.  Tarsus IV killed that.  I’m not him Seri.  I’m a murderer, a cheat who screws any female he can get.  I really am not what people think.”  After a few minutes she relaxed her hold and walked him to the couch in front of the fireplace.  He sat at the end of the couch farthest from the door.  She brought the controls from the nightstand and seated herself opposite him on the couch.  He was staring at the fireplace.  Suddenly flames were dancing as he saw his past in them.  He looked intently at the fire; she looked just as intently at him.  She could feel him; fear, failure, everything he had just talked about.  It told her nothing. _“Do you want me in here, or do you want to talk?”_

_“What would we talk about?”_

_“Tarsus IV.”_

“You said we could talk with Bones here.”

 

“That was until I walked into this.  One of us can fill him in later. But Jim, you are drowning.  Please baby, let me help you.”

 

He looked at her, terrified. “I don’t want to lose you.  If I tell you, you could leave me.  I don’t know what I would do without you or Bones.”

 

“I’m not leaving.  I know things that happened there.  I also know the Federation didn’t release the names of the children so they would have a chance at normal lives.”

 

“Fucking lot of good that did.” He kept looking back at the fire; the flames held a fascination for him.

 

“I know the kids had a leader.  Records show he is the reason so many of you survived.  The survivors owe him a lot.”

 

“They don’t owe me anything.”  The flames lost their appeal and he turned to look at her.

 

She hadn’t realized he was the leader, but she should have. “Why don’t they?”

 

“Because of the choices I made to ensure some of them survived.”

 

Now she understood.  She had read that the leader had to resort to the cannibalism to survive.  He told the children that the meat was from animals.  As horrific as that was, his eyes betrayed the fact that there was something worse; that all of his feeling were wrapped up in something else.  “Tell me about Kallie.”  That was it, that was the button she needed to push.

 

“She was my little cousin.  She was only five when the purges started.  She had cardiac issues my aunt and uncle tried to hide from the government.  I don’t know how, just that they did.  When they finally came for all of us, they burst through the front door.  I knew of a place in the woods behind the house she and I could hide.  I threw her over my shoulder and ran out of the backdoor as fast as I could.  I could hear my aunt and uncle fighting them, keeping them from seeing us.  I heard them die.  Kallie didn’t know that is what happened.  I told her it was a game that the grownups were playing, a kind of hide and seek, so we had to be really quiet.  Problem was I couldn’t go back for her meds or food.  She was good at the game.  For a couple of days, I would have her hide under a tree while I stole food, water, and blankets.  We met up with other kids, and I figured there would be safety in numbers.  We all headed into the woods.  I was one of the older ones, so they decided I was the leader.  Every day Kallie got worse.  She couldn’t walk far, and her lips were always a little blue.  The first time the patrols found us I was able to hide all but four of my kids.  They were grabbed before I could find places for them to hide.  Later that night Olsen and I went to the camp to attempt a rescue.  I don’t know what we were thinking.  They had my kids tied to posts.  They wanted them to tell where the rest of us were.  Those kids never said a thing.  They cut them, hung them, burned them, they even urinated on the wounds to try to hurt them even more.  Finally, they killed them.  I guess it had stopped being entertaining.  Olsen had run back when the torture started.  I couldn’t save them, but I wasn’t leaving them.  Every once in a while, one of them would look at me, so I knew they could see me; knew I was with them. A few days later they had us pinned down near a stream.  Kallie and I got separated from the rest of the group.  The patrol kept fixating on our area. I knew we needed to use the stream to get out.  Kallie couldn’t make it.  I didn’t care about me, but she couldn’t do it.”  His breathing became hurried.

 

“Jim, I’m here.  Trust me.  Keep going.”

 

“They were going to find us.  I didn’t care what they did to me.  If they got me I could send them away from the others.  But Kallie, they were going to have fun with her.  I couldn’t let them.  I couldn’t let them do that, not to that baby.  I put my hand over her nose and mouth as I held her tight.  Seri she was so weak it didn’t take long before it was over.  She trusted me to keep her safe.  Some protector I was.  I hid her body under that tree and snuck down to the steam.  I lived and she died.  Some leader, I murdered my baby cousin.”

 

He had been crying for a while but didn’t realize it.  He got up and walked to the fireplace.  It was only a few steps before his legs started to shake and gave out.  Suddenly he was caught by two strong arms.  They sank to the floor as Len rocked him.  Jim grabbed onto Len’s arms and sobbed harder than he could ever remember doing before.  Finally, he calmed.  Seri was kneeling next to them.  She knew when Len had entered the room; Jim was too lost in what he was telling her to notice. “How much did you hear?”

 

“Most of it.”

 

“So, I guess I’m not what you thought.”  He pulled away from Len and wiped his nose with his sleeve.

 

“You are exactly who you have always been.  Still the pain in the ass who calls me Bones.  The same little brother who loves me.”

 

“And you Seriana?  Am I who you told Mama I was? Not the man you saw, am I?”

 

“No you aren’t.”  She got up from beside him and walked to the table.  She poured him a bourbon.  He was right, he had lost her. He knew this would happen. She knelt down next to him and handed him the drink.  “You are so much more.  You saved her the agony that would have come; but it cost you.  Part of you died with her.” She placed her hand on his back and rubbed slowly.  The bourbon helped, but his family helped more. They sat in front of the fire as they watched their lives dance in the flames.  They were all broken, but together they were whole.

 

“Bones, are you ready for tomorrow?”

 

“Yep. Fuck ‘em.  I’ll hear what they have to say, but they won’t get anything from me.  For once I am not going to say more than I should.”

 

“Do you want us to come with you?”

 

“Thanks kid. I was going to ask if you would.”  They sat on the rug staring into the fire as the thunder rattled the windows.  It was okay, as long as they were together they could handle anything.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Seri picked up Jim’s PADD.  She could hear him breathing heavy in Len’s bedroom.  He was restless, but at least he was asleep.  The Ativan would keep Len asleep for at least an hour.  She skimmed the security reports regarding the away mission.  She had already read them; what she wanted was the autopsy report. 

 

Like McCoy’s wounds, that report would tell her more about what happened than the narrative could.  The beginning was standard; height, weight, age, sex.  Organ weight and size came next; nothing of note.  Conditions related to, but not immediate, cause of death; this was where things got interesting.  Much of it was similar to what she was finding on Leonard, though there were some differences. The lacerations were deeper; exposed subcutaneous tissue, muscle, and some organs.  There were no first or second degree burns, only third and fourth degree.  Shit! They were testing; learning how much the human body could withstand.  There was a minor cerebral bleed, cardiac contusion, broken ribs, and a collapsed lung. None of which was listed as immediate cause of death. 

 

She looked further; there were minor cuts to his arms legs and back; there was also one to the right of the trachea of approximately three millimeters. Quickly, almost frantically, she looked for the immediate cause of death.  It was on the last page, just above M’Benga’s signature; exsanguination.  “Oh Len, I’m so sorry.”  The thought escaped her lips almost without her noticing.  He would need to talk to her or one of the other Starfleet counselors; it needed to be verbalized.  Only then could he begin to heal, to move forward.  Something told her he wouldn’t talk to anyone other than Jim and her.  Len had always been private, all three of them had that in common, but this needed to be talked through.

 

“Hi Peaches” His eyes were still half closed; still feeling the effects of the drug.  The PADD was on her lap; something not lost on McCoy, even in his drug induced haze. “What do you have there?”

 

“Jim’s PADD.”

 

“So now you really do know everything.” He closed his eyes against the memory.

 

She walked over to the stretcher.  She had put the back of the stretcher up when Jim removed the restraints, it put Len’ head closer to her. _“Open your eyes.”_

As he opened his eyes he turned his face toward hers.  She stood close to him, her beautiful face over him. _“Please don’t make me talk about it.”_

_“Not now, but later you need to talk to someone.”_ She ran her fingers down the side of his face and kissed him on the forehead.

 

_“You, I’ll only talk to you.”_

_“Okay. We’ll talk after I fix your physical wounds.  If you only want to talk to me, we have to do it before we reach Earth.”_ He looked confused.  The drug didn’t allow him to think; it was as if his brain was wrapped in cotton.   _“Our relationship is one of the worst kept secrets in Starfleet.”_ She held up her hand with the ring on it. _“Once we get back, another counselor will take your case.”_

_“Oh. Seriana, will you do something for me?”_

_“What?”_

_“When we get home will you marry me?”_

_“What?”_

_“I know we said we would wait until after our tours on the Enterprise were over, but I don’t want to wait anymore.”_

_“Leonard, can you ask me this again when you aren’t stoned?  I want to be sure you’ll remember this conversation.”_ They both smiled.  This would definitely be a great story to tell their children.

 

“ _Len, I need to start again.  I’m going to put the straps across your chest and legs this time.  I need you to stay as still as possible.”_ She could feel his fear rising. _“I’m trying to let Jim sleep as long as possible.  This way he won’t have to hold you still. I’ll close the door to your bedroom.”_ She put the top of the stretched down.

_“He is still here?”_

_“He wouldn’t leave you.  Len, I’m going to stay in your head.  I’ll make sure you know it’s me, but we need to do this before an infection sets in.  Can you stay with me?”_

He looked into her eyes; she was his, she would never leave, he was safe. _“Yes I understand. Just do it.”_ He was a doctor.  She didn’t have to tell him how much it would hurt.  Burns were the worst.

 

 _“If you feel like you are going to pass out don’t fight it.”_ She moved a basin and a bio-waste bag closer to where she would be standing.  Some days Leonard McCoy wished he wasn’t a doctor, so he wouldn’t understand what was going on around him. _“I’m giving you two milligrams of Kerioid.”_

_“Is that necessary?”_

_“If you don’t want to go into shock from the pain, yes.  If you feel like you are going to get sick, let me know.”_ She gently put the hypo-spray to his neck and pushed. _“Don’t fight the drug.  Just go with it.”_ His eyes started to flutter.  She waited a few minutes, nausea and vomiting were common side effect, but they usually only lasted a short time unless the patient tried to fight the drug.

 

_“I’m going to be sick.”_

She sat him up and held the basin under his chin.  _“Don’t fight it. I’m right here.”_ She kept her other hand on his back.  He took the basin from her. Her hand moved from the basin to his upper arm.

 

_“I hate this”_

_“I know.  Don’t fight it, it will make it worse.  I’ve got you.”_ It didn’t take long for the retching to begin.  He hadn’t had anything but the bourbon in the last few hours.  Why did it burn more coming up than it did going down? She moved away.   He didn’t know what she was doing, but he was afraid to move his head to look up.  _“Drink this.  It won’t hurt as much. It’s almost over_.”  He took the cold water she offered.  It felt good going down, but he knew it would come back up again.  She had raised the back of the stretcher. _“Lean back baby. It will be over soon. I promise.”_ He did what he was asked, the nausea began to build again.  He knew nothing would stop this.  Antiemetics rarely worked when Kerioid was involved.  He would just have to ride it out, but damn vomiting sucked.  He leaned over the basin as the water came up with mucus this time.   It didn’t hurt as much this time and the nausea was going away.  He used the rest of the water to rise his mouth.

 

Kerioid didn’t make him tired, a definite perk, but it did help with the pain.  His body felt almost numb.  He handed her the basin. _“Are you sure?”_

_“Yes. Damn that sucked.”_

She emptied the basin and rinsed it out before she scrubbed her hands. _“Are you still okay?”_

_“Yes, let’s start.  Just promise me something.”_

_“Anything.”_

_“You won’t be more than a few feet away for the next few days.”_ He wasn’t like this normally; he was the one who held everyone together.

 

 _“I promise.”_ She lowered the top of the stretcher until he was lying flat. _“I am attaching the restraints now.”_ She could feel him tense as he concentrated on the ceiling tiles.

 

_“You need to breathe.  I’m here.  Just me; you are safe.”_

He started to breathe again, measured and deliberate.  _“Just stay in my head.  I need you there. Please Peaches, keep reminding me you are here.”_

_“I can talk to you in your head.  I can do it the entire time I work, or I can carry you to another time if you would prefer.  It is up to you.”_

_“Just talk to me.  Tell me about our family, about our future.”_

She washed her hands and ran them through the encaser.  She laid the instruments and syringes on the instrument table M’Benga had sent.  She loved that man more every minute.  Never again would she take the wonderfully stocked med-bay for granted.  _“I’m going to start now.  Do you think the peach trees will be in bloom when we get back...?”_ She continued to “talk” as she removed the bandages that covered the burns and threw them into the bag.  The ointment on the bandages had moistened them, but the removal of the dead skin was going to hurt anyway.  She started to slowly remove the dead tissue.  Her mental link helped her to know if the pain was becoming too much for him.  Kerioid only did so much, some pain was still expected. 

_“Len, I’m going to use the regenerator on the ones I have finished.  It will give you time to relax.”_

_“How many more do you have?”_

_“Only one on your front.  I didn’t see anything above a second degree on your back.”_

He gritted his teeth and fisted the sheets. _“Just finish.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“No, but do it anyway.”_

_“Okay.  Joanna said her new mare, Lucy, was going to foal soon…”_ It took another twenty minutes for her to finish the last burn.  _“Len, I want you to breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth.”_  He followed her instructions counting to five for each inhale and exhale. “ _There you go. You’re doing great.  The worst is done.”_

He looked at her, tears running down the side of his face and onto the pillow. _“Let me run over these for a few minutes with the regenerator; then we can take a break.”_

_“No, just keep going.”_

_“No, you need a break.”_ She ran the regenerator for almost half an hour.  The burns looked a lot better, more like first degree.

 

 _“Please just finish the burns.”_ He kept staring at the ceiling tiles as he concentrated on their shapes.

 

_“Okay, but then you have to take a break.  I’ll try to be gentle.  Hopefully you won’t feel it.”_

_“I want to feel it.”_

_“Don’t do that.  You don’t deserve this.  Flagellation isn’t called for. I’m almost done.”_

The tears were back, but she doubted he noticed.  She finished, undid the restraints, removed his cap, cleaned her hands, and laid down next to him.  His body still felt almost numb, but his mind didn’t.  “Seriana,”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I’m scared.”

 

“I know baby.”  She carefully raised the back or the stretcher, and put her arm behind his head.  He turned toward her and put his head on her chest.  This time he cried his soul out.  He hadn’t cried like this in years.  Leonard McCoy wasn’t a crier.  But now there was nothing else he could do; he couldn’t fix this.  She held him to her.  She would make sure he made it back.  To center herself she let her mind drift.  If she was caught in his emotions she couldn’t help him. Anymore than she could help her tears dampening his hair.


	11. Chapter 11

The thunder roared in the distance as Jim hugged both of them. “Family forever, right?”

 

“Of course Jimbo. Who else would have us?”

 

“Love you little brother.  Now get some rest.”

 

They all headed to bed.  Len started to go towards the door to his spare room.  “Where are you going?”

 

“I wasn’t going to assume anything Seri.”

 

“Get over here.  After last night I doubt I will ever want to sleep without you next to me.”  He smiled a tired smile, but it was a genuine one.  They took a shower, and got ready for bed.  “I don’t remember making the bed.”

 

“Mama has a cleaning lady.  We were out when she was here.  Her name is Sarah; you’ll like her.”

 

“How did your talk go?”

 

“Better than I expected.  She always knew.  It turns out dad wasn’t who he led me to believe he was.  Mama said I am everything he couldn’t be; that I was always a better man than him.  I’m still processing everything she told me.”

 

Seri got out of bed and walked to the dresser.  He loved to watch her as she walked naked across his room, her hair flowed down her back until it hit the dimple above her butt.  “Take off your shirt Dr. McCoy.”

 

“What?”

 

“Take off your shirt doctor.”  She removed something from his top dresser drawer. He was mesmerized.  Normally he liked to be in charge in the bedroom, but this was erotic.  He removed his shirt as ordered. “Lights 15%. Don’t move doctor.”  She moved toward him and crawled slowly up the bed.  “Move to the middle of the bed.” This was definitely getting interesting. 

 

She took something from her hands and laid it on her pillow, but blocked his view.  She took both of his wrists in her hand, and brought his hands over his head.  The other hand held something he couldn’t make out in the darkened room.  Then he felt the silk as it slipped around and through his wrists.  She drew his arms slightly higher and tied them to the slat in the headboard.  Whatever was on the pillow was now placed under it.  “Lights 40%”

 

Her eyes, all he could see were her eyes; all he could feel was her.  She was in his soul again.  Len had never remembered getting this hard without touching, not even with Joce.  Get it together McCoy before you embarrass yourself.  She smiled at him; she “heard” that.  She hooked her fingers into his underwear and released him from their constricting confines.  She never removed her eyes from his; not as she licked her lips, not as he pulled against the restraint.  She ran her nails down his thighs leaving pink trails all the way to his feet.  She enjoyed making him growl and strain trying to get to her.

 

Tonight was about him.  She licked her way back up his legs until she reached his balls, and sucked them gently.  Thank the four deities she was a doctor, or she would have missed the signals and this would have been over far too soon.  She made her way to the top of his cock, it was already slick with precum. She wanted to lick it, to taste him, but not yet.  She took him in her hand and applied pressure under the head with her thumb.  “Not yet doctor.  I’ll let you know when you can cum.” 

 

His growl echoed in the room as he arched under her touch.  The tension in his groin slightly released; just enough that he knew this was going to take a while.  Slowly she ran her tongue up his body until she had her head buried in his neck.  He could feel her licking and nipping, sharp but not enough to leave a mark.  She couldn’t get enough of his taste and smell.  His smell pulled at her; honey, vanilla, mint, and a clean country breeze.  But the taste, lightly salted honey; damn, nothing had prepared her for that. She captured his mouth, running her tongue over his bottom lip.  He opened for her, allowing their tongues to caress; neither could get deep enough to completely satisfy.

 

She reached under the pillow as she pulled away.  Sweat was beading on both of them as she looked into his eyes; those eyes that first stared at her over his PADD.  Now they were barely hazel; now they were black and wild.  She had no doubt he wanted to devour her, but it was her turn to play. “Close your eyes.” He obeyed as she used one of his ties to blindfold him.  Last night was all about climbing into each other through their eyes.  Tonight would be all for him; he needed to feel, just feel.

 

“Tonight doctor I’m going to make you scream.” She whispered it into his ear as she licked and sucked gently behind it.

 

His dick twitched. “I don’t scream darlin’.” 

 

“You will.” Her hands danced along his chest down to his abdomen, with her mouth following only as far as his chest.  She licked and sucked his nipple, this time leaving a purple welt.  She did the same to the other as he moaned and writhed under her.  She made a mental note; one day make him cum just by sucking his nipples. 

 

She reached down between his legs as she continued to suck and lick his chest. “Fuckin hell, Seri…” She started to slowly jerk him off, never taking her mouth from his chest.  He dug his heels into the mattress as his hands strained against the restraint. “Goddamn please, Seri I can’t, fuck...”

 

He couldn’t see anything; he didn’t know what she would do next.  Erotic didn’t begin to describe this night.  She continued to jack him off as she gently rubbed the head of his throbbing dick.  The precum smeared over the tip; she made sure she didn’t get it tacky.  Then she drug her tongue from his chest to lick up his neck and under his jaw. “God you taste good.” He moaned as his head fell back between his arms.

 

Before he could recover from her tongue, her mouth was on his dick. “Fuck! Damn, god…” He was breathing through his teeth trying to resist the urge to thrust down her throat.  She crawled between his legs and ran her tongue up the underside of his cock.  He twitched as she swirled her tongue around the head, sticking it in the tip. The precum was salty and the taste made her as wet as he was hard. His growling was getting louder, urging her on.  She moaned as she took him completely, going down as far as she could, wrapping her hand around his base. “Agggghhhh!”

 

“Scream for me.”

 

“No.” He said through clenched teeth. “I don’t scream.”

 

She started a rhythm with her hand and mouth, sucking hard on the upstroke, licking with the flat of her tongue on the down stroke. Until, she felt his balls pull up.  “Not yet. I’m not done with you yet.”  She stopped blowing him and moved to his hips; sucking along his hip bones leaving her marks.

 

“Please Seri.”

 

“I think I like you like this doctor. You belong to me and I decided tonight I am going to drive you crazy.”

 

“Fuck me!  I need you to fuck me!” He was straining at the restraint until his hands were red. 

 

She moved up straddling him at his waist. “What do you want?”

 

“Fuck me goddamn it!” She shifted, he thought she was moving off the bed.  Was she trying to kill him?  He was wound tight, just a little more and he would break.  Len was devising ways to get out of the restraint; he could break the headboard then have it fixed.  Anything to grab her, to feel her.  He wanted his hands over every part of her.  “Agh! Damn!”

 

She took him inside her in one quick motion; then stopped.  She was on her knees and shins with his dick inside her, and her hand lightly scratching his balls.  After a good minute she started to ride him; slowly, painfully slowly, at first.  He fit inside her perfectly; she felt him hit her cervix as he thrusted up.  The pain was getting her off.  It wasn’t too much.  She laid flat on top of him, sucking both of his nipples as she continued to ride his cock. 

 

He started groaning as he thrusted into her.  He couldn’t control it.  Everything was out of his control, everything.  That was what Seri had been waiting for.  She was riding him faster now, her clit rubbing against him along with the rhythm of his thrusts.  She could feel her dripping onto him.  She wasn’t going to last much longer. Her walls were spasming as her nipples became almost painfully hard.

 

He was panting, trying to hold back she leaned to his ear. “Cum for me. Cum now.” 

 

That was all it took.  He screamed as his release came.  She was moaning as her orgasm took her.  He couldn’t stop, moaning, thrashing, thrusting, and straining.  He came again screaming, “Fuck! Seri, I can’t stop cumming.  I can’t sto…” The last word died in his throat as he strained against the restraint, every muscle tight. Everything went black as he lost consciousness.

 

She got off of him and untied him quickly.  The blindfold was removed, and she gently pushed the hair from his forehead.  “Imzadi? Baby?”

 

He started to come to.  “You need to tell me what that word means.” His smile was weak, but he was back with her.

 

“There is no literal translation.  Soulmate, or beloved comes close; but even those aren’t completely accurate.  It is more a connection of souls I guess.”

 

He turned to her. “I love you Imzadi.” She kissed him as he brought his hand up behind her head, pulling her in closer.

 

“Tonight was about you.” She got up and went to the bathroom for a warm washcloth and a cold glass of water.  He took the glass as she cleaned him up.

 

“You don’t have to do that darlin’.”

 

“Really?  Care to try standing up?”

 

“Nope. I’ve never passed out before.”

 

“You’ve never had someone make it all about you.  And I bet you never completely surrendered control to anyone.”

 

“I never trusted anyone enough to do that.  How did you get me to cum twice?”

 

Seri just smiled.  She pulled the covers over them and snuggled in.  There was no way either of them would be able to stand long enough for a shower. “I thought you didn’t scream.”

 

“You know Jim is going to say something about that.”

 

“Yes, but thankfully I can tell you, your mom was asleep.”  He turned pink.

 

Everyone needed to wake early.  The meeting at Emory was at 10:00.  Mama wanted to make sure they were all fed.  The night before Len had told her not to come.  Jim and Seri would make sure he didn’t do, or say anything stupid.  She knew it wouldn’t look good for him to bring his mommy; so, as hard as it was, she agreed to stay home.  Though she did have a gift arriving at the meeting.

 

George Armistead was an old family friend of hers.  He always had a thing for Lena, and she had been attracted to him even though they were both married to others.  They never acted on those feelings, both were too honorable. Honorable, she snickered at the fact that the word was the first that came to mind when she thought of George.  He may be her best friend, but he was also one of the top defense attorneys in Georgia. 

 

She wouldn’t let that bastard she married ruin her son. Len would never call his godfather for help, so Lena did. Last night had been a turning point for Len and her.  They would always be parent and child, but now they were equals in every other way.  He was no longer the boy looking for permission and approval.  Now he was a full grown man, ready for whatever Emory, or for that matter the universe, threw at him.  She smiled as she finished the batter for the pancakes.

 

The sun was up.  Jim could sleep through the roosters, but not the sun.  Why he forgot to draw the curtains was beyond him. It was going to be a fun morning; after last night’s noises kept him up he decided Bones was fair game. 

 

Before he ventured downstairs he grabbed his PADD.  The class rankings should be out by now and he was curious.  It took a few minutes to access the right screen.  What he saw gave him the biggest smile he had in years.  Screw teasing him about the sexual calisthenics, this was better. 

 

Shit! He was going to need a suit for today.  Maybe Bones had one; they were close in size. _“Hey, does Bones have an extra suit and shoes?”_

_“Are you the same size?”_

_“Close enough.  I can make it work.  I know the pants will fit.  I stole his uniform ones a few times.”_

_“I’ll see what I can find.”_

_“I bet he is relaxed this morning.”_

_“Yes he is.  Smartass.”_

Len was still asleep, but he needed to get up soon.  It was already 06:00.  Seri took her shower quickly, dried off, and crawled back into bed. “Baby, time to wake up.”

 

“No, need more sleep.”

 

“Mama is making pancakes, and I don’t think you want to go down to breakfast smelling like sex.”

 

One eye opened. “I’m getting up.  I think you broke me last night. Damn, my legs are still stiff.”

 

“Wait till you see your chest and pelvis.”  She was giggling.  This couldn’t be good.  “Jim wanted to know if you had a suit and shoes he could borrow for today.”

 

Len thought for a moment.  His suits were all bespoke, so there was no way they would fit Jim. “My suits won’t fit him, but I have a sport coat and pants that might work.”  He got up, threw on underwear, and went to the large armoire against the hallway’s common wall.  He grabbed a navy blue blazar, dark grey dress pants, a white shirt, and shoes. Before Seri could stop him he walked across to Jim’s room and knocked on the door. “Jim open up.  I’ve got something for you to ware.”

 

Jim opened the door and gratefully took the clothes.  “Good look for you Bones.” He said with a smirk.

 

“What? You’ve seen me in my underwear before; hell, you’ve seen me naked.”

 

“That’s not what I was referring to.  Meet you downstairs.”

 

Len went back to his room. Seri was staring at him in disbelief.  “I can’t believe you went to Jim’s room like that.”

 

“I don’t get it.  We all walk around in our underwear.”

 

She pushed him until he stood in front of the full length mirror. “Lights 50%.”

 

“Oh hell!  This is going to be ammunition for years.”  He had bite marks and bruises along the tops of his hips and both of his nipples were purple.  How he wished he had pulled his underwear up higher and threw on a shirt.

 

“Len you need to get showered.”

 

“Yeah.” She felt his mood drop.  He was nervous; everything was on the line.  He worked so hard to get where he was, and today he could lose it all.  He headed for the shower. 

 

She followed him in and leaned against the counter. “If I can’t go into the room with you, I can still be in your head.  Would you like that?”

 

He stepped under the warm water and let it hit his back. “Please, I need you with me.”

 

“I’ll always be with you.”

 

Seri threw on a black dress she brought, and her high heels.  She put her hair up and put on makeup.  She looked like a consummate professional. Len showered, shaved, and pulled a bottle down from the bathroom shelf.  Creed Green Irish Tweed, earthy and understated; a good choice for a day when you needed to be taken seriously.  He dressed quickly.  Today Dr. Leonard McCoy looked like a model.  A navy blue suit, white shirt, and deep burgundy tie.  Seri decided he was the handsomest man she had ever seen. “Come on Peaches, Mama’s waiting.”

 

Jim was already eating when they arrived in the kitchen. “Don’t get anything on those clothes.  I don’t have anything else that would fit you.”

 

“I can be an adult when I need to be.  Do you have a tie I could borrow?”

 

“Seri, can you grab one while I make your plate? You know where they are.”  She turned red as he winked at her. 

 

She couldn’t remember Len joking like this before; something had changed.  It was a good change, but a change none the less.  Seri grabbed a blue and black striped silk tie with white crests on it.  It would look good with the blazar.  She handed it to Jim as she went to her place a t the table.

 

Mrs. McCoy had been watching the interaction.  Her son had made a family for himself. Now, they were her family as well.

 

“Jim, let’s switch ties.”

 

“Why Bones?  Does it look stupid?”  Jim was trying to learn proper dress etiquette, but it seemed harder for him than quantum mechanics.

 

“No, I just don’t feel anyone would believe you graduated from Hopkins Medical School.”

 

“Oh.” They switched ties.  “Don’t you think I could fake it?”

 

“You mean like you did diplomacy class?”

 

“Hey!  I got a 4.0 in the end.  By the way, the class rankings were posted.  I’m officially smarter than both of you.” Lena almost choked on her orange juice.  Len and Seri both looked up from their plates.

 

“How much smarter Jackass?”

 

“Well Bones, I am first in our class.”  Now it was Seri’s turn to choke. “Hey! Is that so hard to believe? You two are second and third.  Congrats Len, you beat our little telepath by one, one thousandth of a point. But, I beat you by one, one hundredth.” He smiled at them over his coffee.

 

“I guess we really are the best Starfleet has to offer Jimbo.  God help us all.”

 

“Bones, let me drive.”  This time Jim was serious, and Len wasn’t arguing.   They all gave Mama a kiss and headed out.  Lena knew George would tell her exactly what happened with the board.


	12. Chapter 12

He had cried himself to sleep. The burn treatments had exhausted him, and the sobbing had released the endorphins needed for him to relax enough to fall asleep.  Gently Seri took the skin on the top of his hand and pinched it between her thumb and forefinger.  It didn’t snap back for a few seconds.

 

“Damn Len.”  She knew he was dehydrated but she didn’t know it was this bad.  He had blocked her for the last few days; not letting her see how he had been ignoring his body’s needs.  Why should he take care of himself?  He couldn’t take care of the kid when it had mattered; he didn’t want anyone to tell him he needed to take care of himself.

 

Carefully she slipped off the stretcher.  Joseph had sent down a box of goodies along with the things she had requested.  She pulled out the IV kit and banana bag. Under the bag was a numbing gel and polymer wrap.  Okay, he was owed a dinner as well as the scotch.  She washed her hands again, but didn’t bother to encase them.  The gel was put on the top of his left hand, and covered with the polymer wrap. Len stirred but didn’t wake.  The gel took five minutes to work; this gave Seri time to was her hands and encase them.  She hung the bag on the stretcher’s pole and pulled the tubing straight.  Gently his hand was lifted as she removed the film and wiped the gel off with the gauze. It was easy to find a vein and insert the IV catheter.  Life would be easier if it was that easy to find Jim’s.  Thankfully she had asked for the banana bag; it might have seemed like overkill, but only God and the four deities knew what he had eaten or drunk over the past five days.  She ran it slow, but not too slow.

 

 _“Good morning sunshine.”_ She felt Jim before she heard him.

 

_“Morning.  How long have I been out?”_

_“About six hours.”_

_“Damn it Seri! You should have woken me.”_

_“You needed your sleep.  Besides, I got all of the burns on his abdomen done.”_

He looked at the scene in front of him.  Bones looked pale and his face was slightly swollen. Seri looked exhausted. _“You need sleep Kiddo.”_

_“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”_ Jim stared at her intently. _“It was a joke Jim. Don’t turn into Captain Kirk yet.  At least wait until I fix the lacerations he has.  The ones on his back will be easy, but the ones on his front will need revision. I will need you for that.”_

 

She filled the syringes with the local anesthetic. _“The anesthetic hurts, but it will be better for him than trying to do it without anything.  Also more Kerioid isn’t a great idea while he is so dehydrated.  Last thing he needs is more vomiting.”_ Jim just looked at her. _“It’s okay. He knew it was a side effect._

_“He was crying?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“About what?”_

_“Pavel mostly, and he’s scared.  He knows I read the entire report.”_

_“So you know what happened?”_

It was her turn to look at Jim; tears ran down her cheeks _. “He’ll come back from this Kiddo.  Trust me I know what he is feeling.  I also know I will not allow this to destroy him.”_ She couldn’t tell if it was Jim or Captain Kirk talking.  Whoever it was, was determined.

 

“Bones, Bones it is time to wake up.” Jim was running his fingers through the older man’s hair.  He remembered all the times the doctor had done this to him. It was always comforting and relaxing. He didn’t tell Seri, and he was blocking her; but he wasn’t sure how long it would take to move Len past this.  He would never get over it, but he could get past it.  “Bones, its Jimbo.  We need you to wake up now.”

 

He opened his eyes and looked for the source of the voice.  “Jim? You’re here? Why?”

 

“Of course I’m here.  I love you big brother.  Where else would I be?”

 

“I let you down.  I’m so sorry Jim.  I’m sorry.”  He started to cry again.  Seri checked the time.  Len had been asleep for two hours; it was five hours since his last dose of Kerioid.  She picked up the Ativan hypo and lightly pressed it to his neck.  They could deal with his emotions later; for now, she didn’t want him to do anymore damage to his lacerations.  After his last round of tears, they had begun to bleed again.

 

“It’s going to be okay Bones.  You didn’t let me down.”

 

“Len I need you to listen to me.” It was hard for him. Anti-anxiety medication always had a profound effect on him.  If most people became groggy, he was asleep for hours.  “Len, please try to hear me.  I need to revise the wounds.  I’ll be hitting them with a local.  I have to use needles; you know hypos don’t work.  You are going to feel pinches and the burning will be intense but brief.  Do you understand?”  He knew all of this, he was a doctor; but she needed him to truly understand what was about to happen. 

 

“Yes”

 

“Tell me you understand.”

 

“I understand.  Let’s start.”  He looked at Jim with fear.

 

“I love you Bones.  I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Seri lowered the head of the stretcher, put his cap back on, washed her hands, encased them, and began the local injections.  Len gritted his teeth and fisted the sheets.  He shifted his attention to the ceiling. _“Jim keep talking to him.  Distract him as much as possible.”_

“I talked to Mama last week…” Jim put his hand on his brother’s arm; the warmth of the connection lending reassurance that he wasn’t alone.

 

“I’m done with the injections for now.  I’ll let you know when I am starting again.”

 

Jim shifted his hand into Len’s.  “Mama said she wanted us all home this time…”  Len fell asleep as Jim was talking, but didn’t lose his grip on Jim’s hand. 

 

Seri was looking at the treated areas; she had to wait for the telltale blanching of the skin before she could continue.  She removed the surgical adhesive strips as she waited for the blanching.  Not long after she was able to start the wound revisions.  Whatever the hell they used to make these cuts had to have the most jagged edge in the universe.  It could almost be said that they didn’t cut, but ripped the flesh. Len had been keeping them clean; there were no signs of infection. 

 

The first two wounds weren’t too bad. She was able to revise both of them and close them easily.  The third would pose more of a problem. It looked as though it had been sawed open, and something had been shoved under it. _“Jim, he may feel this. I f he does I’ll stop and administer more of the local.  But, he is at his pain limit; even a small pinch can feel like being stabbed with a hot poker.”_

_“Got it Kiddo. Don’t worry about it; I have him. Just worry about the surgery.”_

The tricorder showed that something had been shoved under the skin to the right inside of the laceration.  It was about five inches long, but had started to heal.  She felt it would heal on its own.  She took the ten laser and began to remove the jagged edges.

 

“Stop! Please stop! I’ll be okay.  Just leave it alone.  It will heal; just leave it.” He was talking fast; he wanted it to stop, no more pain.

 

_“Jim I need to do this.”_

“Bones, she is almost done.  It won’t be long.”  Jim realized he had at least one or two broken bones in his hand.  It didn’t matter, hands could be fixed.

 

“Baby, I only have this one to go.  I am going to administer the local.  After that you won’t feel anything.”

 

“Please don’t. Please, I’m begging you, please.”

 

She took a deep breath.  This needed to be done, and she needed to block everything save what she was doing.  Her hands couldn’t shake, not now.  She picked up one of the syringes and started.

 

“Hey Bones, when we get home, do you think Mama would make that bread I like?...” Jim kept him occupied as best he could. He talked about everything and anything, mostly all nonsense. 

 

After an hour and a half his front was completed. “Jim, Len, let’s take a break now.”

 

“If you need to keep going; do it. I can’t go through this again.”

 

“I can finish your back.  It shouldn’t take more than half an hour.  It won’t hurt.”

 

“Please just finish.”

 

She removed the IV bag, once it ran out. He was still a little dehydrated, but it could wait another half hour.  “Jim can you help me turn him over?” He held his hand up where Len couldn’t see it, but Seri could. _“Shit, why didn’t you say something?”_ He just looked at her; honestly it was a rhetorical question anyway.  “Jim, I changed my mind. Can you start putting all the stuff back in that box? Just leave out the saline bag and some gauze.  I want to get everything back to Joseph as soon as possible.”

 

“Got it.”

 

“Len, can you turn towards me?”  He looked at her.  He couldn’t remember ever being this tired.  As he started to roll she placed her hands behind him to help him over.  Before he realized what she was doing she had completed the roll and had him on his stomach. “Jim can you throw the sheet from here to cover his legs and feet?  This won’t take long.”

 

The lacerations closed easily and the regenerator healed the burns and wounds completely.  By the time she was done there wasn’t a visible scar left on Leonard McCoy. _“Imzadi, we’re done.”_ She moved her way to stand by his head.  Kneeling down she kissed him on the forehead, and removed the cap.  “Let me help you to the bed.”

 

 _“Jim why don’t you take this stuff to M’Benga.  I know Joseph is wondering how things are going. And not just because he is the CMO until further notice. He’ll fix your hand.  Can you tell him I need a pole?  He’ll know what you mean.”_ Joseph M’Benga wouldn’t care when the supplies were returned, but it was a plausible excuse to get Jim out of the room.

_“Sure Kiddo, but I’m coming back as soon as I’m done.”_ She smiled at him.  As counselor she should insist he go back to work; or at least call the CMO and insist that the Captain go on duty.  He would do that without hesitation if he knew all that was going on.  But she couldn’t find a solid reason to do it.  They were headed back to Earth, and Jim’s head was in this cabin anyway. 

 

Len headed to his bed slowly as he leaned on Seri.  He was exhausted.  She tucked him in and started to leave the bedroom, when he grabbed her hand. “I’m just going to wash the encasement off.  I’ll be right back.”  The encasement came off quickly; it wasn’t long before she was in bed next to him. The comm. went off, “Dr. Targan, I’m having the pole sent down.  Dr. M’Benga said what I need may take a while and Cmdr. Spock needs me to go over a few things.”  She needed to thank Spock later.  He could run the ship, but Jim needed the break.

 

The door buzzed. “I’ll be right back.”  She met the aid at the door and thanked him.  Coming into the bedroom she could tell he was shaking.  “Baby, let me hook this up.”  The Saline bag was hung on the pole and hooked into the IV port. He still couldn’t stop shaking. 

 

She took off her long pants and put on shorts; she crawled under the covers with him. “I can’t stop shaking.”

 

“It’s okay baby, I’ve got you.”  She guided his head to her chest and enveloped him in her arms.  “Don’t try to control it.  Trust me to catch you.”  She knew what was happening.  The stress; he tried to have control over everything, but he had been losing control for days.  He was losing the fight.  She closed her eyes as she buried her nose into his hair. She kept going over the last time they lay together like this.


	13. Chapter 13

Len had programed Emory’s address into the hovercraft.  He was more than happy to let Jim drive.  It was impossible to concentrate. He kept going over what-if scenarios. Jim knew he was in no frame of mind to drive a vehicle; this was a small way to help the doctor. “Bones, sit in the back with Seri.  I’ve got this.”

 

They sat together in the back with her holding his hand as he looked out the window.  He saw none of the scenery as it flowed by.  All he saw was him losing everything. _“You can’t lose everything.”_

_“What are you doing in my head? I didn’t give you permission!”_

_“You did. As a matter of fact, you asked me to do it.”_

_“Sorry, I didn’t think you would do it until we were in the room.”_

She backed off.  She wouldn’t go back until he was in the room. “I’m sorry Peaches.”

 

“It is okay. What I said still stands.  No matter what happens, you have us.” He squeezed her hand to thank her.  Thankfully Jim was driving, he would have crashed by now.  Len hadn’t even noticed that Seri was in his head.  He needed to get himself together before they got to Emory.

 

The hovercraft pulled up to Emory; a large glass and steel monstrosity. “Jim go to the valet. They’ll park it.” Jim pulled up. The valet took the craft and handed Jim an electronic chip. “We have to get ID cards before we go up.”  He grabbed Seri’s hand as they headed in. 

 

The clerk at the front desk, an older woman, recognized Len immediately.  Unfortunately, he couldn’t remember her name.  Thank God for name tags.  “Good morning Mrs. Horner.” 

 

The woman looked up at him with a huge smile on her face.  “Good morning Le… sorry, Dr. McCoy.  It is just I remember you coming here with your mom.  How old were you when you started coming? Five?”

 

“I guess. Something like that.  It really is good to see you.”

 

“I have your ID ready.  I’m sorry I didn’t know you would have guests.” Seri and Jim handed her their Academy ID’s.  “Here you go Mr. Kirk, Dr. Targan.”

 

“Thank you Mrs. Horner.”

 

“Dr. McCoy, Mr. Armistead said to meet him outside the cafeteria before you go up.”

 

“Thank you.” He started walking toward the cafeteria; practically dragging Seri along behind him.  Jim almost had to run to keep up.

 

“Hey slow down. My legs are a lot shorter than yours, and I’m in high heels.  Who is Mr. Armistead?”

 

He slowed down. “My godfather, and Mama’s way of fixing things.  Both Jim and Seri looked confused. Len stopped. “He is one of the top defense lawyers around here. Okay, one of the top on the planet. Everyone in this area knows who he is.”  They continued to the cafeteria. “Uncle George.”

 

“Len my boy! You look great! The Academy agrees with you!” He noticed the two people standing behind Len: a young man trying to look like he belonged in a tie, and one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen.

 

“Uncle George, I would like you to meet Mr. James Kirk, and Dr. Seriana Targan.”

 

“Pleased to meet you both.”  They all shook hands and moved to a small meeting room down the hall. “I took this room for us to talk.”  He looked at Jim and Seri.

 

“They can stay.  They know everything.”

 

“Alright then, let’s start. I need you to tell me everything you can recall about your dad’s illness and death.  I had the meeting moved to one; so, we have this time.”

 

_“Seri, now I need you.”_

_“I’m here.”_

Leonard proceeded to tell George everything; everything from the details of the prognosis and the pain involved, to what happened in the room the day of David’s death.  Jim’s eyes never left Len.  Had he turned the life support back on, or did he leave it off.  They hadn’t finished their conversation regarding that day.

 

“Alright Lenny, I need you to try to recall, did you turn the bed back on, or did you leave it off.”  George was taking copious notes.

 

Len thought, “I don’t remember.  I believe I left it off.  I don’t remember hearing any alarms.”

 

“If your father’s heart had simply stopped, do you believe you would have turned the machines off? I know it’s speculation but think about it.”

 

Would he have done that out of reflex?  He always hated the alarms. “Yes.” He was quiet.

 

_“Len, it’s going to be alright.  I think I see where he is going with this.”_

“In there let me do the talking.  You are a brilliant surgeon Lenny, always have been; but sometimes you run your mouth when you should be quiet.”  Jim snickered.

 

“I will Uncle George.”

 

“In there I want them addressing you as Dr. McCoy.  I spent last night reviewing your record.  I want them to remember who they are addressing. By the way, congratulations, all three of you, on your class ranking.” Seri looked at Jim; damn this guy was good. 

 

Thirteen hundred hours came as they entered the conference room. George wanted Seri and Jim to sit behind Len.  They needed to project an air or authority; sit in their seats as if they were captains’ chairs.  Seven people entered the room and sat opposite Len and George. _“Do you know any of them?”_

_“All of them.”_

_“Just remember who you are.”_

_“Right, who is that? Cause right now I don’t know.”_

_“Top of your class out of Hopkins, second in your class at Starfleet Academy, the best doctor at the Academy, an amazing father and son.  Also an incredible lover who can make me wet by just looking at me.”_

He smiled. _“Thank you for that baby.”_

The woman in the middle called the hearing to order.  “Good afternoon Lenny.”

 

George immediately stepped in.  “You will refer to him as Dr. McCoy.

 

She looked taken aback by the idea.  “Okay, let’s get started. Dr. McCoy as you must have assumed, we have asked you here to discuss the questions surrounding your father’s death.  There have been some questions and concerns regarding the day your father died.”

 

“What is the purpose of this line of questioning? Is there some reason Dr. McCoy was called in, or do you do this with every child who is in the room when their parent expires?”

 

“There are some questions as to how the room was found.”

 

“Then let us address those questions.”

 

“Dr. McCoy, can you tell us precisely when you turned off your father’s life support?”

 

_“Answer yes or no only.”_ Her father had taught her this a long time ago.

“Yes.” George smiled to himself.

 

“What time was that Dr. McCoy?”

 

“At 14:23.”

 

“Why did you turn off the machines?”

 

“I always do that when someone dies.”

 

“Always?”

 

“Yes.”

 

The panel was thrown by George’s presence, and it was obvious. They had missed the obvious question, for which George was grateful; he loved it when doctors tried to play lawyer.  “Doctors, are there any other questions for my client?”

 

“Dr. McCoy, is there any reason you did not try to resuscitate your father yourself?”

 

This was too good, if George could have done a dance he would have been on the table going a jig. “Because he was my father.” 

 

He kicked Len under the table. “In accordance with the contract my client entered into with this institution, Section D, Subsection 4, ‘No doctor shall treat a member of their family.’ Therefore, in accordance with your contract, Dr. McCoy only followed hospital policy.  Doctors, where there, or were there not, other medical personnel available?”

 

They looked at Len and George.  This hearing did not go as they had planned. “Any further questions for my client?” He waited a moment.  “Alright then, I believe this inquest is over.  If my client is harassed again by this institution, I shall be more than happy to represent him pro-bono; and doctors, you will not like how things end. Good afternoon.”

 

In all it took about an hour.  The four of them took their leave. “Uncle George, thank you.  I thought they were going to ask…”

 

“Lenny, shut up right now. I’ll be over tonight for dinner.  We can talk then.  I’ll call your mom.”

 

They walked in silence to the valet.  The car was brought around.  Jim drove again with the other two in the back.  Len was all but crushing Seri’s hand.  The ride home was silent.  Len was desperately trying to hold everything together, but it was getting harder with every passing second.  He knew it was over, he also knew he was lucky. 

 

Jim got them home without needing directions. The hovercraft pulled up the drive. Once it stopped they all sat in the craft for a few moments.  “Bones, go upstairs.  I’ll talk to Mama.”  He understood the doctor.  Len had held it together the past three days; that was wrong, he had held it together since his dad died. Jim headed for the side door; he knew Mama would be waiting for them in the kitchen.  Len and Seri went through the front door and straight to his room.

 

“Mama we’re back.”  She had been making dinner to occupy herself.  “He is safe. Mr. Armistead met us there.”

 

“I know dear.  He called me. How are all of you doing?”

 

Jim thought for a minute, “Seri and I are fine, but I sent Len upstairs.  Seri has him.  He is on edge.  I didn’t tell him, but I could see his hands shaking as we got in the craft.”

 

“He needs rest.  The stress release will be difficult for him.  My son likes control, and these past few years I don’t think he felt he had any.”

 

“Are you always this good at reading people?”

 

“Yes dear, I am.” She laughed. “Go get changed.  I’ll show you how to make beef wellington.” He bounded up the stairs.  This was going to be fun! Lena smiled after him.  She wanted Jim to feel this was his home.  She knew Seri would feel this was home, but Jim didn’t understand that feeling.  He had no real parent, no home.  She needed to talk to Len about that. 

 

George had done well; but, he told her the panel had “tripped over their collective dicks”. Also under their contract they could not go after her son again for this.  Her boy was clear; he just needed time to process that fact.  She would leave him be until 17:30. Dinner was at 18:00 and George was coming over.  She wanted everyone around the table tonight. 

 

Seri was good for Len.  Joce was nice, and she still loved her, but Seri was a force of nature.  A hurricane who could take on her son.  Len needed someone as smart as him, but calmer and more controlled. She believed he found his match in the beautiful Betazoid.

 

Len opened the door to their room.  He saw it that way; it wasn’t his room any longer, it was theirs.  She had shut the door to his mind as soon as they left the meeting room, but she could feel he was ready to break.  His jaw was set, his teeth clenched, his hands shaking.  The door closed as he walked to the two glass paneled doors that led to the back veranda and stopped.  Who was he kidding; he just got lucky today, nothing else. Maybe Mama was right. Maybe he was a better man than his father. 

 

Seri came up behind him and put a hand on his back.  “You deserve this.  I promise you, you deserve this.”  She could feel him as he started to shake.  “Come on baby, let’s get changed.”  They changed in silence; he was too afraid to talk.  He had cried more these past two days than he had in his entire adult life; he didn’t want to start again.

 

When he came out of the bathroom, he found her sitting on the overstuffed couch, with the fireplace turned on.  He loved a fire, and was grateful the house’s climate controls allowed them to have them year around.  “Come here Imzadi.”  She patted the couch right next to her. He sat down silently as he started at the flames.  “Talk to me. Let me in.”

 

He started to shake again.  “I can’t. I don’t know what to say.  I don’t even know who I am.”  The shaking was getting worse.

 

“Let’s go lie down for a little bit.”  She stood and offered him her hand.  He took it and followed her to the bed.  She pulled down the duvet and top sheet; he laid down and she got in next to him.  The shaking hadn’t gotten any better.  “Len come here. Let me hold you.”

 

He moved into her arms and placed his head on her chest. Her heart, he could hear her heart. She was with him. “Seri, I feel like I am losing myself.”

 

“Why?”

 

“All my life I thought my dad was better than me. That I would never be as good a doctor.  That I would never be the husband he was.  David McCoy was a god and his son was dirt.  Then my mom told me it was all a lie; smoke and mirrors.  I did what I did because I believed I was helping a good man by relieving his suffering.  Instead what I did was kill my abuser.”  His shaking worsened. “How do I live with that?”

 

“Did you really do it because you thought you were helping a good man; or, did you do it because you were helping your father?”

 

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I just need one thing, one thing I can be sure of.” He started to cry, silent but intense. “Damn it! I didn’t want to fucking cry again.”

 

She held him tighter.  “Why not; fear of losing control?”

 

“I don’t know?”

 

“Yes you do. Leonard, not one of us is in control every minute.  As far as being sure of something; I can think of at least one thing, no, four things you should be sure of.  Four things that you will have no matter how crazy things become.”

 

“What?  My ability to extrapolate until every worst case scenario comes to mind?”

 

“Okay, maybe five things.” She guided his face to look at hers.  She had a small smile on her face, but it faded quickly.  His eyes were red, swollen, and tears still flooded them. “Len you have me, Jo, Jim, and your mother.  No matter what happens be sure of our love.”  He held her tighter.  She was right, he knew that; he just needed to feel it.

 

She kissed him on the top of the head. “Just rest.  I’m here.  Jim and Mama are making dinner.”  Len chuckled. “They both feel happy.  It was a good day.  I’ll wake you in time for dinner.”

 

“Seri?’

 

“Yes?”

 

“Why me?”

 

“Why you what?”

 

“Why did you choose me? You could have any man on campus. Why me?”

 

“I don’t think I could have any man.  I don’t think I am Sulu’s type.”

 

He laughed. “You know what I mean.”

 

“The coffee house.”

 

“What?”

 

“The coffee house.  You brought me there the first day we met.”

 

“Was the tea that good?”

 

“No, but the company was.  You talked to me, not at me.  You told me about yourself, and didn’t assume I already knew everything.”

 

“Did you?”

 

“Mostly, but I preferred to hear you tell me.  You were with me, and interested in what I had to say.  You weren’t just trying to get into my pants, a novelty at the Academy.  You were an adult, and you could make me laugh.”

 

“Is that all?”

 

“I liked your layers. That is why I chose you.”

 

“I wish I could understand what you see in me.”

 

“One day you will.”  She played with his hair until he fell asleep.  It had been a good day.

 

Dinner time cam e quickly. “Len, baby, time to get up.”  He woke up slowly.  “I’m going to throw on some jeans.  Why don’t you get cleaned up and meet me downstairs?”

 

“Seri”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Thank you for everything.  I love you with all my heart.  I just wanted you to know that.”

 

“I do.  I adore you, never forget that.”  She gave him a quick kiss, threw on jeans, and headed down.  Dinner smelled amazing. _“So you didn’t burn down the house.”_

“No I didn’t smartass.  Where is Len? Is he okay?”

 

“He is getting there.  He’ll be down soon.”

 

“Mama went to get changed.”

 

“Let me help you set the table.”  They set the dining room table with the family china, crystal, linen, and sterling.  Lena had asked Jim to set a formal table; then put a diagram of a formal place setting on a PADD.  It was nice to be doing something normal and mundane for a change.

 

Len threw some cold water on his face, brushed his teeth, and combed his hair.  He made a right out of the bedroom and headed to his mother’s room at the end of the house over the library and parlor. He was praying she would be in there; he needed to talk to her.  He knocked softly “Mama, can we talk?” She came to the door quickly, and let him in.

 

“Come in Pumpkin.”

 

Lena McCoy’s suite was the size of Leonard’s except she didn’t have an adjoining spare bedroom. She had kept her adjoining room a sitting room.  The walls were oak wainscoting with silk wall coverings in a sea mist green. The furniture was comfortable and inviting.

 

Len walked in and flopped into the big overstuffed arm chair next to the couch.  “I need to talk to you about a couple of things.”

 

She sat on the couch facing him.  He was usually an open book to her, but not tonight.  “What’s bothering you?”

 

 “I know you sent Uncle George.  I was angry at first, but you were right.  I would have given them too much information.  I think him being there flustered them.  They never asked the one question I was waiting for.”

 

“Which question was that?”

 

“Did you turn off the life support while your father was alive? They didn’t ask if I turned it off before, or after. It was stupid.”

 

“They always were stupid, especially Janice.  She is so convinced of her own superiority she makes stupid mistakes. I love when she gets cut down.”

 

“You really don’t like her, do you?”

 

“No. It may have something to do with the fact she was screwing your dad on and off for a decade.  She thought I was too stupid to know.  Honestly I never cared if she was fucking him; it just pissed me off that she thought I was beneath her.”

 

“So, mom, tell me how you really feel.”  They both laughed, their relationship was definitely more mature than it was a week ago.  “You know they can come after me again.  Uncle George threatened them, but this can all come back again.”

 

“First and foremost, you uncle doesn’t threaten, he promises.  Secondly, don’t you read your contracts before you sign them?  Seriously, Starfleet may have the right to sell you to the Andorians for all you know.  Your contract states that once a board is convened for disciplinary action, they must prove their allegations.  If the allegations cannot be proven during the disciplinary hearing, they cannot be brought again.  Your uncle read the allegations; they alleged you actively participated in the death of your father.  They messed up and now it is over. Please start reading things thoroughly before you sign them.”

 

“I’m really done with this?”  The look on his face was a mixture of shock and relief.

 

“Yes Pumpkin, you are.”  It would take a few days to completely process what she told him.

 

“I need to talk to you about something else.”

 

“What?”

 

“Jim; Mama, I would like him to have the room I put him in as his permanently. He saved me when I was drowning; I want to do something for him. He has no family.  You know his dad is dead.  Hell the entire Federation knows that.  His mom never got over it.  Jim looks a lot like his dad.  She remarried this guy named Frank.  Frank was fine as long as she was around, but she wasn’t on planet that much.  She couldn’t stand to be around her boys.  Frank was abusive to both of them.  Jim tried to do everything right, but it didn’t matter.  Charlie fought him about everything.  Eventually Charlie ran away.  The same day he left, Jim took his dad’s Corvette and drove it off a cliff.  Frank felt that car was his, so he beat the kid.  He broke Jim’s arm and a couple of ribs.  Social Services told his mom, but she said she couldn’t get back to Earth.  They sent him to live with his aunt and uncle on Tarsus IV.  You have an idea of how that went.  He still calls his mom on his birthday, but other than that he has no contact with his family. I want him to have a place that is his. Somewhere he feels safe; feels he belongs. I know last Christmas he stayed at the Academy.  He told me he went home, but the kid Pavel, who is two doors down from me, said Jim didn’t leave. I invited him here, but I think he felt he was intruding.  I don’t want him to ever feel that way again.”

 

“I like that idea.  I have a strong feeling by the time he is done everyone in the Federation is going to know who James Kirk is.  It will be nice for him to have a place to come where he is just Jimmy.  I’ll let your sisters know the room is off limits.  There are five other bedrooms in this house, they’ll be fine.”

 

“There are seven.”

 

“No, I want him to have the adjoining room as well.  I’ll put the bed into storage.  The white outbuilding is empty.  We can let him pick his own furniture.  Also, take the bed out of your adjoining room and store it there as well.  I am assuming Seri won’t be needing it.”  She smiled warmly; she wanted him to say what she already knew.

 

“I love her Mama. I never felt like this about anyone, not even Joce.  Funny thing is I think she loves me.  She knows everything about me, everything, and she loves me anyway.  I never imagined there was anyone like her out there.”

 

“I knew you did.  I just wanted to hear you say it.  She is good for you Len, and I think you are good for her as well.  You deserve her, even if you don’t think you do.  She is able to take you on.  She is as strong and as smart as you.  That is a tough needle to thread, but I think you have.  You have a beautiful family.”  She got up and kissed him on the forehead, the way she did when he was a little boy. “Be happy Len.” She stood as he hugged her.

 

The table was set and George had arrived.  He was telling Jim and Seri about the McCoy family.  How they had bought the plantation after the American Civil War.  The original family had lost all of its men in the war and couldn’t afford the taxes on the place.  When the McCoy’s took it over they became one of the top employers in the area.  They owned the plantation and worked it, but they also owned several saw mills.  They weren’t carpet baggers; the family had moved to Georgia from Scotland just before the war. 

 

Unlike their neighbors, they did not believe in the institution of slavery, and didn’t invest in the south.  They moved to a small farm north of the current plantation just before the war.  The farm was small enough to be ignored, but big enough to grow food to feed their family and their neighbors.  When Sherman came through he had used the current house as a place to house his officers, but burned everything around it; including the McCoy’s original plantation, and their small farm.

 

After the war there wasn’t much left, so when the current plantation came to auction the McCoy’s bought it.  Old man McCoy was smart; he had kept his money invested in northern factories.  He had a dummy company that held his investments.  No one knew it was owned by a southerner; therefore, all of his money was safe.  Because of this the family was able to employ most of the men around the town, former slaves and landowners alike. 

 

It was a rich family history.  George talked about how the family had only come to the area in the 1820’s.  That they were more interested in manufacturing and engineering, than farming.  How their neighbors made fun of the foreigners.  Then the war came, and after they came to the family for work.  Evidently the McCoy men were good and honorable.  Len’s dad was an anomaly. 

 

He talked about how proud he was of his godson.  How despite everything his father had done to him, Len had become the pride of his family.  Jim told George about all Len had accomplished over the past year.  How their class looked up to him, but some were afraid of him.  They all found that funny.  Seri didn’t say much, she just took it all in.

 

“Young lady, you don’t say much.  Do you always let Jim do all the talking?” His smile was genuine.

 

“No, but at times it is hard to get a word in.” Jim gave a mock, shocked look.  It was starting out to be a great evening.

 

“George! It’s good to see you.  You should come around more often. “

 

“The farm workers may start talking.” He gave Lena a kiss on the cheek

 

“Let them.  Not like either one of us is married.” Seri looked at Len; he seemed happy, really happy.

 

“Come on everyone let’s eat.  Mama supervised, co I know my cooking isn’t going to kill anyone. Seri can you give me a hand serving? No arguing any of you.  It’s the least we can do.”

 

Dinner went well, great food and even better conversation.  Seri thought about how much her dad would get along with both George and Mama.  He would fit in better than he does in their house on Betazed.  Her mother and sister weren’t exactly intellectuals, or kind in any way.  To them it was all about externals, all about pretense; about being pretty, not about developing themselves. They were vapid. 

 

The evening ended with drinks on the veranda facing the peach orchard.  “You know Lena, I always thought this was the most beautiful place in Georgia.” He was looking at her, not at the view.

 

Len nudged Jim.  “Night Mama, Uncle George.  We are all beat.  It has been a long few days.”  Everyone exchanged kisses and hugs. The three went in, and left the two adults to enjoy the night.

 

Len went to the fridge and grabbed two beers while Jim and Seri went up. _“Peaches, I’m going to talk to Jim. Is that okay?”_

_“You don’t need to ask my permission.”_

_“I know, but I didn’t know if you wanted me for anything.”_

_“That was a loaded statement. Have fun!”_ She was giggling.

 

Len knocked on Jim’s door.  There was no answer.  After a minute he walked in.  Jim was seated on the veranda.  He loved the rocking chair.  Len came up behind him and lowered the bottle in front of Jim’s face.  He took the seat next to the kid.  As they looked over the yard, Len realized this was the first time things had felt completely comfortable in a long time.

 

“Kid, I need to talk to you about something.” Jim knew this was coming.  Bones had his family now; he didn’t need him anymore. Jim had been on his own before, he could do it again.  “Can I have your help tomorrow?  I need to move a couple of beds into the one outbuilding.  They need to be wrapped well; don’t want mice getting into the mattresses.” 

 

Jim continued to stare towards the pecan trees as he sipped on his beer. “Sure.  Is that all?”

 

“No, I had something to ask you, but I don’t know how to say it.”  Here it comes, Jim thought. “Do you like this room?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I am.  Bones what is this about?”

 

“Tomorrow, can you help me empty the drawers and the armoire in this bedroom?”

 

“Sure?”

 

“You’ll need a place to keep your stuff.  That way you don’t have to take all of your things back and forth to the Academy.” Jim turned to look at him. “Mama and I want these rooms to be yours.  We want this to be your home.”  Jim just stared at him.  Len wasn’t sure what the kid was thinking.  Jim walked to the railing and stared out toward the pecan trees. This wasn’t like him; Jim Kirk was never quiet.  Len walked over to him. “You need to feel free to say no.  If you don’t want to it’s okay…”

 

Jim hugged Len.  The older man returned it without hesitation.  Jim never had a real family or home before.  A place he belonged; where he was loved for who he was; where he wasn’t just George Kirk’s son. “Thank you Bones. Thank you.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me.”  They sat and finished their beers as they discussed how to change the sitting room.  Len hadn’t seen Jim this excited, he was like a kid on Christmas morning.  He may have saved Len from drowning, but the McCoys had given him the world.

 

By the time Len made it back to their room, Seri was asleep.  He loved to watch her as she slept.  Now she slept in his bed.  She was safe; he would always make sure of that.  Something was going on with her mother, but she wouldn’t have to deal with it alone.  He took off his clothes and climbed into bed.  She was still asleep, but turned and snuggled into his chest.  This was heaven; not what the various religions taught, this was it. What he told his mom was correct; he had never felt this way about any other woman.  She had been right, unlike the others, Seri was his equal.  She would never feel she had to compete with him, or race to keep up.  For the first time in his life, Leonard McCoy slept soundly without any worries.


	14. Chapter 14

Jim made his way to the bridge.  There had been four broken bones in his hand, but Joseph had taken care of it.  “Captain on the bridge.”

 

“Hi Spock, what’s up?”

 

“Captain, how is the doctor doing?” Spock tended to project a façade of Vulcan detachment; but, Kirk knew he cared deeply for Leonard.  They were brothers.  Spock had been to the farm several times over the years.  Mama had taken him in. She never saw them as the stars of the Federation; they were her kids.

 

“His wounds are healed.  I’ll talk to you about that later.  There were things the reports missed.  Spock, can I see you in my ready room?  Mr. Kiley you have the con.”

 

Jim’s ready room reflected his personality, relaxed and comfortable, but leaving no question as to who and what he was.  Captain Kirk may seem relaxed, but he was also focused and intense when needed.  A picture of all of them at the farm hung on the wall.  The picture added a warmth that a holo-image couldn’t.  Blackjack’s head came over Len’s shoulder and Jo was laughing hysterically.  It was taken at Mama and George’s wedding; it’s twin hung on his sitting room wall at the farm.

 

“Captain, is something wrong?”

 

“Yeah Spock, everything.  Can I just be Jim for the next few minutes?  I promise I’ll be the captain after that.”

 

“Certainly Jim.” They took their seats on the couch.

 

“Spock, can we discuss what the reports show?  Those reports may cost Leonard is position in Starfleet.”

 

“Have you read Dr. M’Benga’s and my conclusions?”

 

“No, I only read the initial findings. Were they revised?”

 

“Jim, you need to read those reports.  The doctor has no worries.” Jim was handed the PADD. “Read Dr. M’Benga’s first.” Jim scanned the report.  M’Benga’s conclusion was that Lt. Pavel Chekov died of wounds he suffered during his detention on Mylus. He stared at Spock; the subtlety of the language was not lost on the captain.  It was the subtlety of a Vulcan. 

 

“Now read mine.”  Vulcan’s didn’t lie; that didn’t mean they didn’t obfuscate.  The report stated Lt. Chekov died despite the valiant efforts of Dr. McCoy.  It also stated that Dr. McCoy suffered great personal injury while protecting those under him.

 

The reports made both Pavel and Leonard heroes.  They were; one gave his life; the other part of his soul.  “Thank you Spock.”

 

“I only stated my determination of the findings.”

 

Jim smiled a sad smile, “Thank you anyway.  Go get some rest. I have the bridge.”

 

“Yes captain. I shall be back in time for my next shift.”  A meeting was set up for the next day with Joseph M’Benga.  Jim needed to thank him properly.

 

Len wasn’t going to sleep; at least the shaking had stopped.  Seri’s heart was the most beautiful sound in the universe. It was safety.  “Peaches, can I talk to you?”

 

“Always, you can tell me anything.”

 

“God, I hope so.  I need to tell you what happened down there; but, I don’t know how.”

 

“Just start; say anything.  I’ll lead you there if you need help.”

 

“I’m scared.  I know it doesn’t make sense. It is over, and I’m safe; but, I still feel as if they are going to come through that door.  I still hear Pavel’s screams.  I hear him begging to make it better; to not let them take him again.”

 

His heart rate was rapidly increasing. She needed to help him build to the worst part, not start there. “What happened after they took you; after they hid you from Jim?”

 

“They asked Jim to observe some ritual. It was only for the leader.  All other personnel had to wait outside the room.  After that I’m not sure.  We woke up in a cell.  There was a light overhead that they never turned off, and no windows.  I don’t know how long it was before they came for us.  When they did they came for me; not Pavel, me.” His breathing was becoming rapid and erratic.

 

“Len, take a deep slow breath; in through the nose, then out through the mouth slowly.”  There would be no way to get through this if he hyperventilated.  He did as he was told; it helped.

 

“Pavel went after them, pulling me away from their grip. He knocked one of them out. I never realized how strong he was. I think they saw my rank; that’s why they went for me first.  We could hear him screaming. It went on over at least a few hours.  The screams would stop and then start again.  Seri, I kept reaching for you.  I could feel you, but I couldn’t talk to you.”

 

He would never know she had felt him the entire time he was on Mylus.  She felt when Pavel died; felt the torture Len endured. At this point she didn’t want him to know their love would link them not only emotionally but in a way physically, until one of them died.  It took a great deal of energy to block his emotions, and she was rarely completely successful.

 

“I don’t know how long they had him, but when they were done, they dumped him into the cell.  He was covered in blood.  All I could smell was the blood.  You know how that metallic smell gets into your nostrils and sinuses.  I sat on the floor with him, his head in my lap.  He kept looking up at me.  He asked me why, what did they want? He wanted me to make it better; to not let them take him again. I lifted the bottom of his shirt up.  I could see all of the cuts.  I kept telling him he would be okay; that we would get home.” 

 

“They came back awhile later, and grabbed him again.  I tried to stop them, but they threw me into the wall.  We were all too weak to really fight.  We didn’t have food or water; hell; we didn’t even have a toilet or bucket.  Anyway, we could hear the screaming again, but this time there weren’t any breaks.  That poor kid.  It should have been me not him. They wanted me.”

 

“Don’t do that.  It shouldn’t have been either of you.”

 

“It was a long time before they brought him back.  He was alive, but barely.  Seri, they burned him. Every mark was black, and some were into the muscle.  He couldn’t do it again. He just kept saying help.  It was all a whisper.”

 

“You know how he always wore that cross his mother gave him?  It had a pointed bottom on it.  I couldn’t let them take him again.  He was on my lap.  When Haylee and Trexel were asleep I took the cross and put it to his jugular.  It didn’t take much; the cross was pretty sharp. He bled out onto my hands and lap.  He never took his eyes from mine, He smiled a little when he knew what I was going to do. Eventually, it didn’t take long, he stopped breathing.  I couldn’t say anything; I just closed his eyes.”

 

Her shirt was soaked.  Tears had fallen down his cheeks as he told her everything he could remember. How he had killed one of his closest friends. “Len,”

 

“Yes.”

 

“We’re done for now.  Later you can tell me the rest.” This would also have to be revisited.  It was likely that he had repressed some of the things that happened.

 

“What rest?  He was dead.  There is no rest. It was over.  I killed him.  I killed that kid.” The rant was hurried and progressively louder as he clutched onto her shirt.

 

“Next we talk about what happened to you.”  The shaking started again, “Not now. We are done for now.”  The shaking subsided, but his grasp on her remained. 

 

The saline bag was almost empty. “Len, I need to unhook your I.V.”  His grip relaxed. The drip was shut off and the I.V. catheter gently removed from his hand.  She kept the gauze over the puncture as pressure was applied; an adhesive strip was placed over the spot.   He wouldn’t look at her; he stared at the wall on her side of the bed. “Tell me what you remember about Pavel.”

 

“His eyes when he could no longer see.”

 

“Tell me what you remember about him.  You knew him for nine years.  Tell me about him.”

 

Thoughts of Pavel alive made his death more real. It wasn’t a place Leonard wanted to go. “I watched him grow up.  He was only fourteen when he moved into the dorm.  His mother was so nervous, but he was bouncing around like one of the otters at the aquarium.  I introduced myself to them as Dr. McCoy.  I thought it would put his mom more at ease.”  He rolled over to face Seri.

 

“Did it?” She sat on the bed next to him.

 

“It did.  I promised her I wouldn’t let him get into trouble.  After she left he came to my room.  He was excited but scared.  Remember how he would talk like a runaway train when he was excited? Jim stopped by and we all sat around talking until late.  He felt so grown up.  He aced all of his classes.  What was he, sixth in the class?  Damn, only fourteen years old.  Life was an adventure to him.  His laugh, Seri his laugh was infectious.  He would smile and his whole face would light up; but, his laugh is what I remember.  I could hear it in my room when he really got going.  I couldn’t beat him at chess.  He thought it was funny.  He would have a game going with me, and another one with Jim.  He would always win both. Seri, I just want him back.  I want to hear that laugh again.”

 

Gently she laid down and pulled him to her. “I know baby, I know.”

 

“His mother wants to talk to me.  I don’t know what to say to her.”

 

 She repositioned herself so they could face each other.  “Jim talked to her the day you got back.  He made sure someone was with her when he told her.  Usually Starfleet sends someone, but he knew she would want to hear it from him.”

 

“Please tell me he wasn’t alone.  Was Spock with him?”

 

“No, I was.”

 

“God, baby I am sorry.”

 

“It’s okay.  You needed space, and he needed support.  It worked out well.”

 

“I should have been there.”

 

“No, you shouldn’t have.  With where your head was you would have said the wrong thing.  Len, she was worried about you.  Pavel dying was devastating, but she was also worried about you; were you hurt, how bad was it, were you going to be alright.  I think she needs to see you and hear your voice.  If you want I’ll stay with you.”

 

“I would like that.  She should be proud of the man he became.”

 

“She is.  I believe she is proud of you as well.  Jim told her you were with him; that you tried to protect him.” There was a look of doubt behind the hazel eyes. “Len, you did. You gave a part of yourself to save him.”

 

“I wish I could believe that.”

 

“When you talk to her, tell her what you told me.  Tell her what an amazing man her son was.”

 

“Seri, he was supposed to bury me.” They laid in silence as her fingers gently stroked his cheek.

 

“I feel numb. You’re a psychiatrist, is that normal?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I need to feel something besides numbness, fear, and pain.” He was lost. Kisses were placed like whispers on his forehead and eyelids.  Tentatively he brought his mouth to hers.  Gently his tongue ran over her lips as his fingers snaked into her hair. They needed this.  He needed to feel something tender and good, she needed to feel him.  He was alive, she needed to know that; to feel him inside her, not just in her body, but in her soul.  The past five, no now six, days had been hard on her.  She opened her mouth to him and ran her hands through his hair. 

 

He pushed them till he was on top of her.  Everything was a slow burn.  Len needed something slow; he needed to feel everything.  He removed her shirt and bra.  Her dancer’s body stretched under him; her skin was warm next to his arms.  Her hands found the hem of his shirt and pulled it up.  There were no scars, none she could see.  His eyes met hers. There they were; every scar from his life visible in the green and gold.

 

 _“I’m here Imzadi. Be here with me. I need you Seriana. I need to feel you.”_ He felt her enter him.  She was in his soul. Eventually, he took the rest of her clothes off.  As she undressed him she made sure her fingers skimmed over his flesh; touching like a feather as she made her way down his legs.  Her eyes came back to his. His were pleading, reaching.

 

“Come to me.” She pulled him back on top of her.  She was gentle with him, almost as if he was made of glass.  No one would have thought that. Dr. McCoy made of glass?  Steel maybe, never glass.  Seri knew better.  Today he needed this.

 

He entered her slowly, felt every sensation; her walls as they clamped around him, her fingers as they ghosted over his arms and back, her legs as they wrapped themselves around his waist.  He thrusted at a steady but increasing pace.  Their breathing quickened as sweat beaded over both of their bodies.  She stayed in his head; he felt loved and complete with her.  But under it all was pain; the fear and numbness was gone, but the pain remained.  As his thrusts became faster and harder she knew he wouldn’t be able to deny the pain in his soul.  As his release came, so did his release of the pain.  He buried his face into her neck as he came.  He didn’t move after.  He stayed on her, inside her.  It wasn’t long before she could feel his tears run down the back of her shoulder. She held him to her; cradled him as he allowed himself to feel.

 

Eventually he was able to roll off of her.  “I’m sorry Peaches.”

 

“Please don’t be.” He stared at the ceiling. Silently she sat up and bent over him so he could see her. “It will get better Len. I promise it will, but it will take a while. “

 

Jim knew the Enterprise was the best in the fleet.  It wasn’t the ship; it was, but it was more, it was his crew.  Uhura had been keeping an eye on him from the moment he sat in the chair.  “Captain, may I speak with you for a moment?”

 

“Certainly Lieutenant.” 

 

They moved to the back of the bridge near the turbo lift.  “How are you doing?  And don’t lie.” They had known each other for nine years, but hadn’t become friends until Nero.  That was when she saw the real Jim Kirk.  They loved each other; she was one of the few close friends he had.  As captain he couldn’t be friends with many of those under him, though he cared for every one of them.

 

“I’m worried Nyota, and I’m tired.”

 

“When was the last time any of you ate?” His blank stare told her everything she needed to know. “Jim, I’m feeding you.” To contradict her would be pointless.  She would defer to him as captain, but she had called him Jim; any argument he may have made was over before it began. Nyota left to get food.  It wouldn’t look good for the captain to pass out on the bridge.  She came back quickly with a sandwich and juice.

 

“Thank you Nyota.” There was a smile on her face, but he could see the underlying concern.  “How long have you been on duty Lieutenant?”  She couldn’t remember.  She had kept herself busy the past six days; being busy meant she didn’t have to think. “I thought so.  Why don’t you grab some food for Bones and Seri?  After that go join Spock.  You need some down time.  That’s an order.”

 

Her smile was softer this time. “Yes Captain.”  The replacement was called and she left for the mess hall.

 

Seri threw on clothes and went to the bathroom; while she washed her hands she caught her reflection in the mirror.  Damn, how long had it been since she slept? Forty-eight hours maybe; not healthy doctor.  The door buzzer rang.  Nyota was there with a food cart filled with Len’s favorites; something not lost on Seri.  Nyota was one of their close circle, someone Len wouldn’t mind seeing him the way he was. “Can I come in?”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m half asleep.” She helped Nyota in with the cart. “Is there anything left in the replicators?” They were still giggling when Len entered the room.

 

“Hi darlin’.”

 

Nyota walked over to him and carefully put her arms around his neck.  He wrapped his arms around her; she needed to feel him to know he was alive and safe. “I won’t break. I promise.”  She held him tighter.  Years ago Jim had died in front of her; a couple of days ago she had been down to see Pavel’s body to convince herself he was really gone.  Jim came back, Pavel wouldn’t.  What if they had lost Len as well?

 

He pulled back to look at her.  Tears streaked her face. "Darlin’ I’m okay.”

 

“No you’re not. But, at least you’re alive.  Sorry.”

 

  
“No, you are right.  Thank you for the food.  Pot roast and turkey with corn bread and greens?  I’ll never pass the physical if you keep feeding me like this.”  She laughed. “Why don’t you join us?  Honestly Nyota I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Seri was grateful Nyota hadn’t been there the day before.  They all sat down to a family meal.  “Thank you for everything darlin’.  I really do appreciate it.  Tell that boyfriend of yours he is a lucky man.” Len could always make her laugh.

 

“I will. Len, he is worried about you.  He won’t say it, but he is.”

 

“Do you think he would stop by tomorrow?  I would like to see the hobgoblin.”

 

“I’ll tell him.  I guarantee you, he’ll stop by.”

 

Seri didn’t say much.  Usually it was she and Nyota that did all the talking.  Spock and Len rarely had an opportunity to say anything.  Len had sat close to Nyota, she needed the contact.  The two had talked all during dinner; not about anything important, just reassuring conversation. Seri hadn’t wanted to spoil that.

 

After she left, Seri took a good look at Len.  He looked like he needed to sleep for a week.  “Baby, why don’t you get a shower.  I’ll change the sheets.”

 

He had made his way slowly to the bathroom, and found the courage to look at himself in the mirror. Fuck!  If he had someone walk into the med bay looking like he did, he wouldn’t let them leave for at least a week.  After stripping he inspected his torso, no scars.  Seri really was a talented surgeon.  The water temperature was set as he stepped under the warm spray.  The water cascaded softly down his body as he closed his eyes and wished for home.  The shower at home felt different, more relaxing.  Maybe it was the fact that he was a different person when he was there.


	15. chapter 15

****

Leonard woke to the sound of the shower.  Maybe they could all go for a ride into town later; give Mama a break.  He got up, went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth.  It was amusing to him that he didn’t think twice about going to the bathroom while Seri was in the shower.  The relationship with Jocelyn was never that comfortable; he was never that comfortable. 

 

The shower was too inviting to pass up.  “Good morning Peaches.” She hugged him around the waist and kissed him as the water gently beat down.  His hands ran down her back and grabbed her ass. She smiled as she ran her tongue between his lips.  The taste was a mixture of mint and Len. He pulled back to look into her eyes.  Black fire, that had been his private description of them since the day he met her.  Her small hand reached down and began to stroke his cock; a firm pull, with a slight twist at the end. “Damn! It definitely is a good morning.” He removed her hand as he drug his tongue down her chest, until he knelt in front of her.  The water hit her back.

 

It was common knowledge at the Academy that Jim Kirk was a fun ride.  It was also assumed that his best friend would be the best ride at the amusement park.  He had a surgeon’s hands, and an unprecedented knowledge of anatomy.  Many of the cadets wanted to see him use that knowledge along with those hands on them.  There were cadets who had far too many visits to the clinic for a sore throat, or a pulled muscle.  Anything to have those hands touch them.  Len was oblivious to all of it.  Fucking around was never his style.

 

Seri could attest to the fact that he had the most talented hands in the fleet; he was now proving he had the most talented tongue and mouth.  He licked and nibbled at her stomach; his tongue dipped into her navel before he sunk further down her body.  Her fingers were tangled in his hair as he parted her folds and gently inserted a finger into her. “Ssss, Len.” He loved when she said his name in a tone only he got to hear.

 

Another finger was inserted as he moved his head closer.  Her walls tightened as he began to run the hard tip of his tongue between her folds. She really did smell and taste like peaches, sweet and tangy.  He began to suck her clit as he buried his mouth and nose into her.  Her hands were still in his hair; it took all her control not to hold on too tight.  Her legs were shaking and she wasn’t sure if they would hold her up for long. He found her g-spot the first time they were together and committed its exact location to memory.  As he sucked her harder and alternated with his tongue up her folds, he felt her walls begin to spasm.  She was close. It wouldn’t take much to have her completely lose control.  His fingers curled to apply steady pressure to her g-spot as he hungrily sucked at her clit.  When she came he could feel her juices gush over his mouth and fingers. 

 

Her taste and smell pushed him past the point of control; he couldn’t wait any longer.  She was looking at him, pure black fire. “Turn around.” His voice was a growl.  She did what she was told without even thinking.  He pulled her back until she was flush against his front. She could feel how hard he was. He turned them around until his back was to the water, and she was facing the built in stone seat.  “Put your hands on the seat; bend over.” Her ass was round and firm as she bent forward, grabbed the seat and opened her legs for him.  This had to be one of his favorite sights; he twitched at the thought of what he wanted to do.

 

“Fuck me Len. Please, I need you in me.”  It was a desperate plea.  He bit back a growl as he pushed into her hard. The thrust pushed forward onto her toes as she felt his balls hit her.  God, how she loved the feel of his balls as they slapped her ass.  Her orgasm was building; the pressure almost unbearable. “Oh god! Len, I’m cumming!”  He pushed into her harder as he bent over her, rubbed her clit with one hand as he massaged her breast with the other.  She clamped down as she let out a squeak.  He knew she was holding her breath, but at that moment he couldn’t do anything about it.  His orgasm came hard and fast.  He continued to push into her as the aftershocks overtook him.  Quickly everything became too sensitive and he had to stop and pull out. She loved the feeling of his cum inside her.  It was a turn on for the rest of the day, though she would never tell anyone.

 

Slowly the shower was finished. “Peaches, Jim and I are moving furniture this morning.  After that maybe we could all go into town.  What do you think?”

 

She was putting on a pair of jeans and an Academy tee shirt. “Sounds great.  You should ask Mama and George if they have any plans.”

 

“George?”

 

“He is still here.” Len stopped shaving and looked at her in shock. “What? Your mother is a beautiful woman, and George makes her happy.”

 

“I know but she is still my mom.”  Mama deserved happiness in her life, and George was a good man. A light smile crossed his face as he finished shaving.  “Mama and I are giving Jim his suite of rooms, and making our room into a suite.  That is why Jim and I have to move the beds out.”

 

“Your sisters will be pissed.”

 

“Ginny definitely will.  They’ll have to get over it.  I thought we could pick out some den furniture when we go into town.” They finished dressing.

 

“Len, Jim can’t afford it, but he is too proud to say anything.”

 

“I’ll tell him it is for the house.  That will be a good reason for me to pay.  Have you checked your PADD lately?” Her eyes became slits. “Just in case your dad called.”

 

“Good idea.  I’ll do it while you two are working.”

 

Jim had made his way downstairs and was exploring the house.  It was a lot bigger than he had realized.  There was a parlor, den, library, music room, sun room, day room, dining room, kitchen, mud room, two bathrooms, and a summer kitchen off the regular kitchen and past the porch.  The walk to the summer kitchen was covered, so Jim counted it as part of the downstairs. 

 

Each room held its own charm, but to Jim the sun room was the best.  If he faced the house, the sunroom was on the left corner.  Two of its walls were made of small paned windows. It faced the pecan trees and the cow pasture.  The walls were painted a light yellow, and all of the woodwork was painted white. The furniture was comfortable; everything made to invite a person to curl up and watch the sunset. This was his home.  He sat on the light sage couch and sipped his coffee as he watched the farm hands herd the cows to the milking station.  One day he wanted to learn how to milk a cow.

 

“Mornin’ kid.” Bones plopped himself onto the couch with his coffee.

 

“Good morning. I emptied all the drawers this morning.  I put the linens in the blue bedroom.  I did keep two sheet sets and four towel sets.  Is that okay?  If it isn’t I’ll pick up some later.”

 

“Jim it’s okay. They are yours.  I thought the three of us could go into town later.  It will give Mama a break before the little hurricane arrives tomorrow.”

 

“Mama and George left earlier.  She wanted me to tell you she wouldn’t be home until later and to make sure the two rooms are taken care of.  I told her we were moving the beds, but she just smiled and gave me a kiss on the forehead.  Why did she do that?”

 

Len chuckled, “Mama wants the rooms made comfortable.  We’ll take a look at the local stores.  There are a few artisans in town that make amazing pieces; there are also a couple of antique stores that carry what we will need.”

 

Jim suddenly looked uncomfortable; his voice was tentative. “Okay, I’ll find something.” 

 

“Jim don’t worry. We have an account for household expenses.”

 

“No, I’ll take care of it.”

 

“No. The household account is set up for this.  We haven’t used it for anything more than paint and some repairs in years. Mama is looking forward to this.  Also let me know if you want your rooms painted.”

 

“No! I like them the way they are.”

 

“I know this is odd for you.”

 

“I’m really not use to this Bones.  I am trying.”

 

“I think Mama wants to spoil you.  Enjoy it, eventually she’ll have you throwing around bales of hay.”

 

They got up and headed to the outbuilding behind the white one.  It had a couple large metal containers that could easily hold the beds.  “Jim, I thought we could move these to the white building over there.  Then we can put the beds in them.  I doubt mice can get in, and it saves us wrapping them.”

 

“Think you can lift this old man?” Len’s eyebrow shot up as they both grabbed the first container and headed to the white building.

 

Seri could see them as they moved the containers.  Their laughter echoed to the house.  She went back into their room from the veranda.  The PADD was staring at her.  She wanted to call her dad, but also knew her mom would be there.  Twenty-eight messages; twenty-five from her mother which was expected, one form her sister, and two from her dad.  She opened her sister’s first; loser, ungrateful, ignorant, stupid, in other words nothing new.  Then her mom; she sounded like a more graphic version of Celiasa, she had had years to perfect the tirade.  Finally, she opened her father’s; he was concerned about her after the way her mother had yelled at her.  He was concerned about her friend, was everything okay.  He wondered if she was coming home this time.

 

She called her dad. The PADD was answered immediately.  “Hi baby!”

 

“Hi daddy!  I’m sorry I didn’t get to call you sooner.  It’s been a busy couple of days.”

 

“How are things going?  Are you friends doing better?”

 

“Things went better than expected.  Still some things to do, but the worst seems to be over.  I am going to try to get home for a bit.  Maybe one day you could come here.”

 

“I would love that baby!”

 

“Well I wouldn’t.” Her mother came into view.

 

Shit! Seri kept a smile on her face; she knew she was in for it. “Hello mother.”

 

“Don’t hello mother me young lady.  You should be home with your family.  What if we don’t get to see you again?  Cooper keeps asking about you.  I know he would love to see you.”

 

“Mother stop it.  Cooper isn’t my type and you know it, so stop pushing the subject.  I like strong intelligent men and Cooper; well he isn’t either.  Can you put dad back on please?”

 

“You never want to talk to me.”

 

Can’t imagine why, Seri thought.  “Stop the martyr act mother.  It got old years ago.  Just put dad on.” Her father returned. “Dad, I’m going to try to visit in a week or so.  I can’t stay too long, but I want to see you.”

 

“I would love that baby.  Your cousin is getting married in a couple of weeks.  Tericha said to tell you to come if you are here.  I told her you may have people with you. She said you should bring them.”

 

“I’d love to see her!  I’ll try to make it.”

 

“You should bring your friends.” She could hear her mother shouting from the other room.  “Lenoxia, you forget this is my home as well as yours.  If I want our daughter to invite her friends, then that is what will happen.” There was more shouting. “Lenoxia, you don’t want to test me on this.  You will lose more than you could possibly imagine.” Seri had never heard her father speak to her mother like that.  “Seriana, feel free to bring whoever you want with you.”

 

“Thank you daddy.  I’ll talk to Len.  I’m not sure Jim on a planet of telepaths is a great idea.” 

 

They both laughed at the idea. “Probably not, but bring him anyway if he wants to come.  Call when you know more.”

 

“I will daddy. I love you.”

 

“I love you too baby.”

 

That was interesting.  Jazined Targan was a traditional husband socially.  When at social functions he allowed his wife to have the spotlight, and he was in charge of keeping the house.  He was also the reason Seri was attracted to strong, intelligent men.  Her father was one of the top ten litigators on Betazed; though her mother seemed to forget that fact.

 

It wasn’t long before she heard the banging of furniture being moved, and Jim cursing when Len dropped the end of the headboard on his foot. Seri decided to go exploring.  Len took the house for granted, but she didn’t want to get lost in the dark.  The music room and the library were her favorites.  Beautiful rich rooms with dark wood and fireplaces.  Christmas would be amazing here.  Though she didn’t practice the religion she loved what Christmas represented, family and love. 

 

There were four doors in the kitchen; one to the porch, one to the dining room, one to the pantry, the fourth one interested her. It went to the basement. “Lights 80%.” The house sat on a raised brick basement.  There were six large rooms divided by brick walls. The first room to her right was a wine cellar.  There were no windows in the room; the walls were covered with filled, illuminated wine racks.   One wall of racks was not only illuminated, but also refrigerated. Each of the racks’ sections were labeled with the type of wine they contained.   In the middle of the room was a large round oak table with four chairs and a tiffany light hanging over it.

 

The room next to the wine cellar was smaller, but also lined with illuminated shelves.  These shelves contained various liquors from all over the federation; but, most seemed to be scotches and bourbons. There was a small table in the middle of the room with two chairs and an amber colored light hanging over it.

 

There was another room with a pool table and card table, each lit with a single overhead light.  There was a dart board on one wall, and a rack for pool cues on another.

 

One room was storage for holiday decorations, and wrapping paper for all occasions.  Another room held family memorabilia that went back generations.  It was the largest room in the basement.  In the middle was a couch.  Seri was looking forward to finding old pictures and holos of Len. The final room was completely empty.

 

Seri made her way up to the music room.  She loved to play the piano, and at the Academy there was nowhere to practice.  The piano was a Steinway baby grand.  There was nothing to tell its age; but when she touched the keys it was as if she could feel the generations before her that sat at it and lost themselves in the music.  She wanted something easy to start with; something she could sight read.  There were bookshelves on the wall next to the entryway.  The music books were divided into genres and eras. There was a section labeled, Earth eighteenth and nineteenth century classical.  She found a copy of J.S. Bach’s Prelude in C; perfect.  As she sat on the bench she centered herself.  After running through a few scales to warm up she began to play in earnest.

 

Jim entered the house first.  They had moved all the furniture to the outbuilding.  Turned out they also needed to move two dressers and night stands as well.  Luckily one of the dressers went to Len’s room. They could hear the music as it echoed throughout the house.  Neither Len, nor Jim knew Seri played.  It had to be her.  Sarah was off and Mama was out.  Jim smiled as Len quietly slipped into the music room.

 

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.  The way the sunlight from the window gently touched her, the way she was lost in the music. He knew she could feel him, but she never looked away from the music. “Are you and Jim done?”

 

“Yes. I didn’t know you played. You like Bach?”

 

“I do. I am a little rusty so I chose something easy.  Do you play?”

 

“Yes, but I prefer jazz to the old classical.”

 

“That’s because you have bigger hands, makes it easier for you.  I can’t even play Liszt; I only have a nine key reach. Len,”

 

“Yes Peaches.”

 

“I can smell you from here.”

 

“Got it.  We can head into town after Jim and I shower.  Maybe grab lunch there?”

 

“Perfect.”

 

Len wanted to talk to Jim before his shower, he needed his opinion.  He knocked on Jim’s door; no answer.  Len walked in; the shower was running.  The bathroom door was open. “Jim, I need to ask you a question.”

 

Jim jumped; so much for a relaxing shower. “Shit!  Don’t do that!”

 

“Sorry.  I need to ask you something, and I want your honest opinion.”

 

“Can this wait until after my shower?” He opened the shower stall door and looked at Len.

 

“It’s okay Jim.  I’ll catch you later.”

 

To Jim it looked like he had just kicked a puppy.  “Bones what is it?”

 

“Do you think it is too soon for me to ask Seri?”

 

“Ask her what?”

 

“To marry me.”

 

The water turned off.  Jim stepped out, dried off, and threw a towel around himself. “Why would you think it is too soon?” They walked into the bedroom.  Jim got dressed as Len sat on the couch.

 

“We just started dating this week. Do you think it is too whirlwind?”

 

“What makes you think you started dating this week?”

 

“Well we only first kiss…”

 

“So, you only became sexually involved this week.  Trust me, I’m an expert on this.  Sex has very little to do with a relationship. It is one factor, an important one, but only one.  You’ve been seeing the little telepath for nine months.”  He flopped onto the couch. “You two started dating the day I introduced you. You’re welcome by the way.”

 

“No we didn’t.” Len was genuinely confused.

 

“Really? How long does it take to grab a coffee?  Honestly I’ve had sex that took less time than it took you two to have coffee.  Have you seen any woman since you met her? Has she been with any men? When anything happens, good or bad, who is the first person you want to tell?  Who is the first person you think about when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep?  Anyway, you get my point.”

 

“I see your point. So, you think it would be okay?”

 

“More than okay. Go get washed.  I’ll meet you down stairs.

 

Len went to their room.  He moved the painting of Blackjack and opened the safe behind it.  The old papers were removed along with an ebony jewelry box.  The top of the box had an inlay of sterling silver with the initials LHM.  His grandmother had given it to him before he left for medical school.  It contained all of the family jewelry.  The only person who knew he had it was his mother; not even Joce knew it existed.  He had bought Joce’s engagement ring; it had never occurred to him to give her an heirloom.  It was assumed he would pass all of it down to his children.  That was until now. 

 

His grandmother would ware his great-great-grandmother’s engagement ring for special occasions.  It was a round diamond center stone, with two oval bright blue sapphires on either side, set in platinum.  He hoped Seri would like it; it reminded him of her.  Everything except for the ring was put back into the safe.  He pulled out a new pair of jeans and placed the ring in the front pocket as he put a belt through the loops.  A standard Starfleet shower of ten minutes is all he allowed himself.  Quickly he dressed and headed down.

 

Jim and Seri were in the den waiting for Len.  The four-year-old English Foxhound Grits was lying on the couch with his head in Jim’s lap.  The dog was enjoying having Jim absentmindedly scratch behind his ears. “You have a friend there.”

 

Jim smirked “I always loved dogs.”

 

“Me too! Jim, is Len okay?  He feels nervous to me.  Did he get any bad news?”

 

“Nope. He’ll talk to you later, but everything is good.”

 

She was curious, but wouldn’t ask. “So, are we getting the furniture today?”

 

“Seri, I don’t know what to do. I always got whatever someone was getting rid of.  I never got anything I wanted.”

 

“Mama wants you to be happy.  I bet you could get a new bed if you don’t like yours.”

 

“I love it! I’m not changing anything in the bedroom. Though I may add a small table to the veranda in between the rocking chairs.”

 

She smiled, “You’re a natural.  If the whole captain thing doesn’t work out, you could become an interior designer.”

 

His brow furrowed as he glared at her, but she knew he was kidding. “Jim have you given any thought to what you want to do before Starfleet sees sense and gives you your own command?” She definitely learned the art of sarcasm from Len.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe diplomacy or general science.  I need to give it some thought.  What are you hoping for kiddo?”

 

“I hear it will be mandatory for every starship to have a counselor.  Maybe I could try for that ship they are building, the Enterprise.  But I’ll need to talk to Len first.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t want to be without him.  I know we could be separated, but if we keep our class rankings we may be able to be assigned together. I hear Captain Pike is slated to take the Enterprise when she is done.  Everyone is going to want a chance to serve under him.”

 

“They will. I know I do.”

 

“You have a better chance than me.  They only want one counselor per ship.  You do the math.”

 

“Yes, but they’ll want someone who will stand up to the captain.  Given your reputation with the admiralty, I guarantee you are a front runner.”

 

“I heard Dr. Piper was the front runner for CMO.  He is good, but as a doctor I can tell you Leonard is better.”

 

“Are you being completely objective?”

 

She gave it a lot of thought.  “Yes. Technically he is good, but he is completely by the book.  He has trouble when he has to approach something in an unconventional manner.  Len is more innovative; he sees the entire picture.  Piper doesn’t have much empathy; everyone is a potential thesis study.  Len is calmer.  He becomes calmer the worse the situation becomes medically. Piper escalates at times.  I’ve worked with both; these are my observations.”

 

“That’s interesting.  Piper will most likely be offered the position, but he will want Bones.  Wonder if I can get the Enterprise; work in strategic alliances under Pike.?”

 

“Probably, if you don’t do something stupid in the meantime.”  She smiled, but Jim knew she was serious. 

 

He was number one in the class; he could only go down. “I’ll talk to Len, Kiddo.  I know he hates space travel, but the Enterprise might be too good to pass up.”

 

“It would be nice if we could all be together; at least for our first posting. I assume you aren’t doing a five and dive.”

 

“No. I’m in this for the long haul.”

 

Len looked himself over quickly; white button down and jeans with boots.  Perfect for today.  Damn, he felt like a kid asking a girl to the prom. As he headed down the main staircase he could hear them talking in the den.  “Hi guys. Grits, time to get out.”  The dog jumped up and followed him to the front door with Jim and Seri close behind. “You all ready?”

 

“Yep. You got everything Bones?”

 

He felt his front jean pocket. “Definitely. Let’s get going.”


	16. chapter 16

The sheets on the Enterprise were never as soft as the ones at home.  Seri always kept two sets from home for special occasions.  When she heard the shower turn on it was the signal to get a set from her cabin. The bed was made quickly and the old sheets thrown down the laundry shoot. Once stripped she made her way to the bathroom.  A shower and sleep were desperately needed.  Thank the deities for Nyota.  They had forgotten to eat until she showed up with the cart.

 

Nyota was one of only three female friends Seri had. Mama didn’t count, she was mama, that was different.  The others were Callie and Joce, much to Leonard’s dismay. He told Seri that her friendship with his ex-wife made him nervous.  She asked if he would prefer if they hated each other.  Truth was he almost did, but their friendship did strengthen the family.  Jo had grown up strong, confident, and well policed, thanks to those two. Women seemed to feel threatened by Seriana.  She was brilliant, strong, and stunning even by Betazoid standards.  Nyota Uhura, Callie McCoy, and Jocelyn McCoy were as formidable as she was.  The men had started to call them the four musketeers. 

 

“Len may I come in?”

 

“Sweetheart, you never have to ask.” Slowly she climbed into the shower.  Exhaustion had taken over, and everything hurt.  She rested her head against his chest as she looked down and stretched her neck.  He began to slowly massage the base of her head, down her neck, and over to her shoulders.

 

“Len you don’t have to do that.”

 

“I know.” He didn’t stop. She was gently turned around as he continued to work on her neck and shoulders.  The control panel showed no water restrictions.  Scotty was a great friend.  “This has been hard on you, hasn’t it?”

 

“I’m okay.  Please don’t worry about me.”

 

She was turned to face him as he raised her chin. “I do.”

 

Her arms wrapped around him as he pulled her closer.  If her crying was noticed, nothing was said.  They washed each other, dried, and climbed into bed. Len noticed the sheets from home.  They helped. The lights were set at 5% in the event some light was needed later.

 

“Goodnight Imzadi. Please wake me if you need me for anything.”

 

“Goodnight Peaches. Thank you for everything.”  She cuddled into his chest as they both fell asleep.

 

Jim went over the duty roster.  Normally he didn’t bother with it, but he had pulled his CMO, chief helmsman, and chief engineer from the roster for the next few days.  He noticed the water restrictions had been removed from McCoy’s quarters; last thing Scotty did before he was pulled. Jim was proud of his crew.  Everyone looked out for each other.  Montgomery Scott was a part of the very small inner circle of friends Jim allowed himself.  That didn’t mean Scotty had to risk disciplinary action for Leonard. 

 

Spock had done a great deal of juggling to properly cover all shifts.  He also had a few suggestions for a new chief navigator. It had to be done, Jim knew that, but he still had a problem thinking of the kid in past tense.  Now he had to think about Pavel’s replacement.  Jim marked off three of Spock’s proposed candidates for vetting and interviews.  The list was sent to the first officer.

 

They were heading home.  Jim had talked to Mama right after he called Pavel’s mother.  He needed to hear mom’s voice after that call.  Cal was called next.  He depended on her, leaned on her.  James Tiberius Kirk, brash, youngest CO in Starfleet history, the golden boy of the Federation; but to them he was Jimmy.  After Mylus he needed that; he needed his mom and the woman he loved. That he needed anyone was something he never thought possible, but Mrs. McCoy had helped him realize that there was strength in needing others, and they would always be there for him.

 

“Mr. Marlin, what is our estimated arrival time?”

 

“Four days, twelve hours at warp two.”

 

“Anything on the long range sensors Mr. Kartika?”

 

“Nothing Captain.”

 

“Good. Mr. Marlin, you have the con.” The kid looked nervous; usually Kiely took it, but he was off duty now. “It’s okay Mr. Marlin, I’m available if you need me.” The kid seemed to relax as Jim left the bridge for Len’s quarters.  He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep anywhere else.  Before he got to the cabin he grabbed a pillow, blanket, ditty bag, and change of clothes from his quarters.

 

The cabin was very dimly lit.  Jim quietly closed the door to the bedroom and entered the bathroom through the living area door.  Len had a nicer cabin that his, but that was his choice when he exchanged cabin’s with Seri.  He turned on the light and looked in the mirror.  As the doctor would say, he looked like hell.  No wonder Nyota was concerned.  Thank God, or more precisely, thank Scotty, the water restrictions were lifted. He desperately needed a scalding hot shower.

 

Jim hadn’t taken the time to process the last six days.  Seri was right, he needed to at least run over it in his head. Starfleet sent the Enterprise to Mylus because they had requested admittance into the Federation.  As the captain he was to be the initial contact; if all went well an ambassador would be sent. He had chosen a basic away team and beamed to the surface.  In retrospect a telepath should have been added to the team; maybe then they would have gotten the hell out of there as soon as they landed.  There was no point in second guessing himself now. They were shown around, then he was escorted into a room for the leaders only. Bones didn’t like that they were being separated, but Jim wanted to give the mission every chance to succeed. 

 

He remembered the door closing behind him; then waking up in the med bay.  He asked where Bones was; that was when he found out the other members of the away team were being held hostage.  The ruler of Mylus wanted the Federation to force Starfleet to turn over the technology on deflector shields and photon torpedoes.  They didn’t detain Jim because in their culture to detain a leader was an act of war. Those under the leader were fair game.  He wasn’t giving them what they wanted. Thus the standoff began.

 

Jim got out of the shower. Damn if Bones’ shower wasn’t better than his as well.  He threw on a tee shirt and shorts, pulled out the futon and laid down.  He needed to run through the rest of those days in his head.  Spock had been on the bridge with Seri.  The second officer had her seated in the captain’s chair.  She was almost as white as the walls.  They moved her to Jim’s ready room.  That was when he found out she could feel everything Leonard felt, everything.  As her friend it killed him to see her like that; as her captain the information she had was useful.  There was pain, anger, and fear. She told them the first day for Len the primary emotions were anger and pain.  After that day, one of them was dead and she knew his CMO was being tortured.

 

Jim and Spock had kept the Mylans talking while Scotty worked on getting their coordinates.  There was interference from the rocks in the area, but after the first day he was able to triangulate their position.  The problem was Scotty couldn’t obtain their precise patterns.  He needed someone to beam down with a pattern enhancer.  Easy in theory, but it needed to be done when the away team was all together.  That was when Captain Kirk ordered his Betazoid counselor to reach out mentally to his CMO and obtain as much information as possible.

 

Seri couldn’t read Len’s thoughts; she had tried as soon as she felt his mood change.  She theorized she could tell when the torture ended and he would most likely be taken back to the others.  There was no way she could tell who died; all that was certain was it wasn’t Len. All three of them headed for the transporter room. She would tell them when the torture ended. 

 

Spock insisted he should be the one to beam down when the time came.  He had logically stated he was the physically strongest officer who could also work a pattern enhancer.  M’Benga was called.  He came with two stretchers and medical teams to the transporter room.  As soon as she felt the torture stop, Spock climbed onto the transporter pad.  Scotty waited four minutes before beaming him to a spot within ten meters of the away team. Seri felt Len startle, then become agitated.  Not long after, the away team with Spock materialized.

 

That was when it hit them.  The doctor was standing on a pad, his uniform top black from the blood that had soaked into it; in his arms the body of Pavel Andreievich Chekov.  Jim stumbled as he headed to the pad.  M’Benga came to Len’s side as he gently told him they needed to take the kid; that he would take good care of him.  Reluctantly Pavel’s body was given to the doctor.  Seri never took her eyes from Len’s.  All Jim could remember was Len telling everyone to leave him alone as he pushed his way out of the room.

 

The next three days were a blur.  Jim spent them dealing with a crew in shock and grief, a feeling of wanting to destroy all of those who killed and tortured his family, and a CMO who was imploding.  Starfleet would know how admirably Lt. Cmdr. Targan preformed her duties; but her need to relieve the CMO of duty would not be included in the report. 

 

The report would be finished the next day.  Right now he needed a good night’s sleep.  In four days they would dock, be debriefed, and sent for some R&R as the ship was refitted.  Mama was coming to San Francisco with Joanna and Callie.  Jim had called Callie after he spoke to Mama.  He always called her to tell her things that were going on; the good and the bad.  Callie was always there for him. Things would slowly get better, he hoped.

 

Len only woke up a couple of time during the night, but was able to go back to sleep.  This was a definite improvement over the last week.  Jim needed to talk to Seri; captain to ship’s counselor.  He needed her to talk to the CMO about the torture that he endured; he needed it in detail. Alpha shift was starting in an hour. Jim got cleaned up and headed for the bridge.  Things needed to get back to some semblance of normalcy if they were to survive this.

 

Spock had been put on beta shift, he needed to take alpha shift off. He hadn’t seen Len since the transporter room; there had been no time. Spock had taken over most of Jim’s duties during the past week.  He never said anything, he just knew what was needed.  The two strongest friends he had needed him to take care of things for them. 

 

Jim and Len had taught him what friendship was.  Jim showed him when he risked everything to save him from the volcano.  The captain had even died to save the people he cared for. Leonard half carried him through a creek bed and up rocks to try to hide them from Krall’s bees.  After he pulled out the metal from Spock’s abdomen and cauterized it, he could have left him there. Leaving him would have been the logical thing to do.  It certainly was the logical thing to do after they found shelter in the abandoned cave structure.  But, friends didn’t leave each other; friends protected each other.  The lessons these two men taught him were why he beamed down to Mylus. It wasn’t logical; one of the engineers could have gone with a security guard.  The problem was, Leonard was his friend; Spock needed to do it.  Part of Spock needed to see Len was alive, and also take care of him.  Sarek would say it was illogical, but Spock didn’t care, part of him was Amanda.

 

Spock had been thinking about Mylus.  Most of what he had seen had been put into the report to Starfleet; but certain things were left out.  As he sat in his quarters all he could think about were the observations that didn’t make it into his report.  Scotty had managed to beam him only five meters away from the cell.  It was cold and damp, not just by Vulcan standards.  It smelled of decay and excrement.  The low light wasn’t a problem; his eyes adjusted quickly.  What he saw made him wish they hadn’t.

 

The two security personnel were seated against the far wall.  They seemed unharmed. Then he saw Leonard.  The doctor was seated in a pool of mostly dried blood, holding Chekov’s body.  Spock had easily blasted the lock and entered the cell with the enhancer.  He needed to move quickly.  The enhancer was set up quickly; he then moved to Leonard.  He tried to take Pavel; his friend was wounded and shouldn’t be lifting that kind of weight. The doctor wouldn’t let go of the kid.  Spock doubted he even knew who was trying to help him.  Len didn’t seem to see him. In the end it was easier to allow the doctor to carry the body. 

 

By the time they stood up Spock could see Len recognized him, and that they were rescued. Spock commed Scotty and they were transported to safety. Logically he should have felt some relief at the safe rescue of all but one of the away team.  Not this time; the loss of Pavel was hard, but that was not what had him agitated. 

 

Gratefully he was half Vulcan, he could mask his feelings.  “Spock what is wrong?”

 

“Nothing Nyota.”

 

“I thought Vulcans didn’t lie.”  


“We do not.”

 

She understood that he justified his statement by the fact things were going smoothly on their journey back to Earth. “You should go see Len today.”

 

“He may not choose to see me. I do not want to impose.”

 

“I already told you he wants to see you. Spock, please don’t avoid him; it isn’t healthy for either of you.”

 

He knew she was right. Nyota could always see past his façade; few could.  “I shall contact him shortly.  Do you think he will need anything?”

 

She took a step towards him. “No, just you.”

 

Seri awakened to the smell of coffee.  Len had let her sleep.  Slowly she got up, brushed her teeth and made her way to the living area.  He was seated on the couch with her PADD; his lay in several dozen pieces on the med bay desk.  He was reading through several of the files.

 

The Mylus files were on a password protected page.  She knew he had been denied access by the look of frustration on his face and his feeling of irritation.  “Mornin’ Peaches. How did you sleep?”

 

“Really well. I think I went comatose.  How about you?”

 

“Not bad.  Only woke up a couple of times.”

 

“You should have woken me.”

 

“Naw, it wasn’t bad.  I could hear Jim in here; and besides, I love to watch you sleep.”

 

There was a light smile on her face as she went to the small replicator for a cup of tea.  Scotty had said when they docked at Earth for the retrofit the ensuite replicators would be refitted to create full meals.  Seri couldn’t wait. Gently she sat next to Len. “What are you doing? You should be resting.”

 

He all but glared at her. “You changed your password?”

 

“No. I added a separate one for the Mylus files.”

 

“You don’t want me to see it? You don’t trust me?”

 

“You know that isn’t it.”  The skepticism was evident on his face.  “Len, I don’t lie to you.  I don’t want you to read it until we have the time to go over things. You know how much damage it would do if you read it before you were ready.  I know you; that’s why I locked it.” A sigh escaped as he rested his head on the back of the couch.  He hated it when she was right. Things needed to be addressed in a more controlled environment; not read while alone. “Len?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Please tell me what you are thinking. I know you are angry.”

 

“It’s not with you.  I’m angry with them. I’m angry with Starfleet. I’m angry with Pavel…”

 

“And you’re angry with yourself.”

 

He closed his eyes as hard as he could. “Yes.”

 

The comm. sounded. “Saved.”

 

“I have to thank whoever this is.”

 

“Dr. McCoy here.”

 

“Good morning doctor.”

 

Spock’s voice elicited a small smile. After Kahn, Len had been able to see past the Vulcan’s stoic façade.  Being stranded together as they hid from Krall’s bees cemented a friendship that had been growing steadily.  The doctor saw how upset Spock had become when Jim died; and how nervous he was as Len worked on synthesizing a cure.

 

He wouldn’t, no couldn’t, leave Spock when they crashed on that godforsaken planet.  They sat in the alien constructed cave as Spock slowly bled to death.  The Vulcan had confided in Len; something that his species didn’t do. Len had stayed up all night making sure they stayed safe from the bees as he listened to Spock’s breathing.  He was more afraid of losing the hobgoblin than of his own death.

 

On Mylus it was Spock who came for them. Spock who risked himself to save them.  He hadn’t realized it was Spock, not at first.  When the realization hit him he knew they were safe.  Len hadn’t seen Spock in five days.  He hadn’t seen him since the transporter room. “Spock!  It’s good to hear your voice.”

 

“Doctor, I was wondering if you would mind my coming to your quarters this morning?”

 

Suddenly Len became quiet.  Seri could feel how nervous he had become.  “No Spock, I would like to see you.  Bet you never thought you would hear me say that?”

 

“I shall be over in an hour doctor.”

 

“Seri, why am I so nervous?”

 

“I don’t know.  Why do you think you are?”

 

“Stop doing that!”  There was no irritation in his voice; only a teasing tone. “Seriously, do you have any idea? Because I don’t.”

 

She got up and placed both of their empty mugs into the replicator, punched the buttons on the panel and watched them disappear. “Maybe because the last time you saw him, you were at your worst. Now you are afraid of what he thought of you. You know he knows what you did and that terrifies you… But, I’m just guessing.”

 

“When I realized it was him I almost started to cry.  I couldn’t let Trexel or Hylee see that.  Until Spock got there I was the senior officer; I couldn’t break.  But, god I wanted to as soon as I knew Spock was there.  He tried to take Pavel, but I couldn’t let him.  Pavel was my responsibility; he trusted me to get him out of there.” He was becoming more agitated.

 

“Len, baby, why don’t we talk about this after Spock leaves? Nyota said he hasn’t stopped worrying about you.”

 

“Seri, I don’t want to lose control in front of him.”

 

“Would it be so terrible if you did; if just this once he took care of you instead of the other way around?”  Just then the door buzzer sounded.

 

Seri answered the door and invited Spock in.  She gave him a kiss on the cheek; something that used to make him uncomfortable.  Now it was something he waited for and welcomed. “I have to go to my office and look over a few things.  You two enjoy yourselves.” Len looked at her, she could feel his fear. _“I’m never any farther away than this Imzadi.  If you need me, just reach out.”_

With that she grabbed her PADD and left the room. Nothing except the penlight and metronome from her office were needed; but it was a good excuse to give the two hardest headed men on the ship time to redefine their friendship.  The two things were grabbed from her office as she headed back to her quarters.  From her room she could feel the tension from both of them; but it was just nervousness concerning the unknown more than anything else.  They would be alright.

 

The PADD was activated as she began to review her messages.  Jim wanted her to have a few days to concentrate on nothing but his CMO.  He would have to be disappointed.  Hopefully the captain wouldn’t be angry.  She needed to try to concentrate on something else, to do something normal.  Hard as she tried, her mind drifted; first to mundane things, then finally back to that summer. The ring spun on her finger as she absentmindedly played with it.  It had been the best, and worst summer of her adult life.


	17. chapter 17

 

Len drove to the center of town.  Toccoa, Georgia, was about twenty-five miles north of the farm.  It still held the charm of an old southern town.  Len wanted to go there because the shops were friendlier than the ones in Atlanta.  There was also a jeweler his family had used for generations. 

 

After parking the craft, he started to show them the center of town.  There was: the feed store that had Ollie’s favorite treats, the antique dealer that carried furniture from the eighteenth through the twenty second centuries, anything newer was carried by the vintage furniture store three doors down, an Italian restaurant that refused to serve anything pizza oriented, a men’s shop that carried handmade sweaters from Scotland and Australia and suits from Italy and England, a bridal store with every type of bridal gown a woman could imagine, a tailor that specialized in bespoke suites with wools from Great Britain and silk from Italy and France, a toy store that specialized in anything not related to technology, an oriental restaurant, and finally a barbeque joint that smelled heavily of hickory.  Jim and Seri were in heaven.

 

They all decided on barbeque for lunch.  Len told Seri to get him the brisket sandwich with sauce on the side and a Cheer Wine soda; he had one place he needed to go first.  He kissed her quickly and headed down the street. Jim had a smile on his face as he escorted Seri into the restaurant, today was a good day.  They ordered their lunches and headed to a table near the window.  “Seri?”

 

“Hmmmm?”

 

 “Do you ever regret going to lunch with me after that diplomacy class?”

 

She could tell he was serious. “Where is this coming from?”

 

“Just thinking about the past few days; and you didn’t answer the question.”

 

“I never regretted it; not these past days, not even when I found you past out drunk in the middle of the quad.  I had to figure out how to get your ass home.  Good times.”

 

He laughed. “Yeah, wish I could remember that.”

 

“Ask Hikaru and Pavel.  I’m sure they have a very vivid memory of it, especially when it started to pour.” Now she was laughing.

 

“Jo is coming tomorrow.  Did you ever think about having kids?”

 

“Sure, I’d like a couple.  What about you?”

 

“Maybe one day.  I love kids, but I don’t know if I would make a good father.  Not exactly as if I had a good example to follow.”

 

“Yes you did.  Your father showed you what true love and sacrifice was, and Frank showed you what not to be.”

 

“True, I also made some decisions about how I have been acting.  Don’t worry I’m not going to completely change.”

 

Len entered Hancock Jewelers.  Mrs. Hancock was behind the counter.  As soon as she saw him, her face lit up.  “Lenny!” She ran around the counter and gave him a hug.

 

“Hello Mrs. Hancock. It’s good to see you.  How’s Mr. Hancock doing?”

 

She stepped back. “He’s good.  Lena didn’t tell us you were home.  You look good, but I’m sure you didn’t stop by just to say hello. What do you need?”

 

He pulled the ring from his pocket. “How long would it take to size this?”

 

“Bigger or smaller?” Mrs. Hancock took the ring and turned it in her hand.

 

“Smaller, she’s a five and a half.”

 

“Are you sure? I could size her.”

 

“Yes. We were talking one day and she said she could never ware her mother’s rings because her ring finger was only a five and a half.”

 

She looked at the setting under the loop.  “The setting looks good. It’s platinum…. Geoff just got the new sizer.  You just put the ring in, plug in the size, and it does all the work.”

 

“How is Geoff?”

 

She kept studying the ring. “Good, he and Claire are expecting their second child in a few months.”

 

“Tell him I said hi and congratulations.”

 

Her eyes looked up from the ring as she smiled. “I will.  This will take about an hour.  I’ll polish it and rhodium plate it as well.” Len was smiling.  “Lenny she must be one special lady.”

 

“Why? Because I’m giving her great-great-grandma’s ring?”

 

“No, because she can make you smile like that.”  She pointed at his face.

 

“She is Mrs. Hancock, she really is.  I’ll be back in an hour. Can I pay now?”

 

“Sure.”  She took his card and rang it up.  He didn’t look at the price, he didn’t care.  It wasn’t until he got home that he realized she only charged him one credit.

 

Len entered the barbeque joint and quickly looked around.  He found them sitting at the window laughing.  “What’s so funny?” He sat down and began to put the sauce on the brisket.

 

“Oh, just Seri and I talking about having kids.  She said she wants a couple.  I figure after taking care of me she won’t have any trouble with a baby.”

 

Len smiled, he would have to thank Jim later for finding out if she wanted children. “Yep. After you parenthood is easy.” She laughed.  He finished his lunch then they headed to the first antique store.

 

They were told that if they didn’t like anything they saw, there was a furniture maker three blocks down and two streets over.  Jim found a Hendredon Hestia cocktail table with a lacquered top.  Len had them take it to the back before Jim saw the price.  He then picked out the Fireside Sofa model by the same manufacturer in oxblood leather.  Jim gravitated toward classic comfort.  Len loved watching his best friend finally choose something just for himself. 

 

Seri asked Len if the Hendredon Aberdeen sofa from the twenty first century was okay with him.  He liked that style, ease and comfort with classic lines.  She didn’t see anything else that would work for them, so he took them to Collins’ furniture maker.  He left them there to head back to Hancock’s.  The antiques would arrive the next day, but the custom pieces would probably take a few weeks at least.

 

Mrs. Hancock had the ring ready and in a box.  He couldn’t believe how it looked.  She hadn’t just plated the platinum; she also cleaned the stones, and put it in a beautiful maroon box. It looked band new.  “Thank you Mrs. Hancock. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

 

Maria Hancock walked around the counter to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Yes I do. One day I hope to meet her.”

 

“You will.  I promise I’ll bring her by.  I couldn’t today, she would have figured everything out.” He kissed her on the cheek and left.  He remembered playing in the store as his mother and Mrs. Hancock had coffee and gossiped.  One day Seri would get to know all the people who were important to him.

 

Jim and Seri were finishing up their orders when he arrived back at Collins’. “Chris, just send the bill to the house if that is okay with you.”

 

“Not a problem Len.  I trust you. We’ll get this to the house as soon as it’s done.   Give Mama a kiss from me.  Tell her I haven’t forgotten about that pie she owes me.”

 

“Thanks Chris.  That is perfect, and I’ll let her know.”

 

They left and headed back to the hovercraft.  “So Bones, did you take care of everything?”

 

“Yep kid, it’s all done.  And thanks for the lunch conversation”

 

“No problem.”

 

Jim drove back to the house.  Mama should be home soon. “Bones, thank you.”

 

Len smiled. “It isn’t a problem.  We need some new furniture anyway.” Jim could tell he was being teased.

 

They arrived at the McCoy farm about a half an hour after they left town.  Jim drove a hovercraft like it was a starship.  The term “bat out of hell” was used more than once by Leonard.  Mama was home and Jim ran over to thank her for everything.

 

Seri started to follow, but Len grabbed her hand and led her away from the house toward the pond.  If he didn’t ask her now, he might chicken out.  He couldn’t risk overthinking this.  She could tell he was anxious, but she wouldn’t betray his trust and read his mind.  She knew he would tell her soon.  Finally, they arrived at his pond.  He wanted to ask her here, the one place that was his and his alone.  She was looking at him hoping he would tell her what was on his mind.  “Imzadi, is something wrong?”

 

He turned her toward him gently, lightly kissing her lips.  “No, I just need to ask you something, but I  
 don’t know how.” They were at the edge of the pond with the trees behind him.

 

“Just ask me. You can ask me anything you know that. “

 

Gently he took both of her hands in his as he stared at them he realized he couldn’t look her in the eye as he asked.  He was too scared.  “I know this may be too soon. Please let me know if it is.  I can wait.  So let me know if I’m going too fast.”

 

She released his left hand and used her right to lift his face to hers. “Len, I can’t let you know that.”

 

“Why not? You have to know how you feel about it.”

 

“I can’t let you know, because I don’t know what you are asking.  I only know that you are nervous; that’s all.”

 

He realized he had been babbling.  This time he looked into her eyes. “Seriana, I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone.  You are my first thought in the morning, and my last before I fall asleep.  I want to be a part of you until the day I die.  Will you marry me?”

 

Seri just stared at him. Jim had been wrong; it was too soon.  He should have waited, maybe after they graduated. She cupped his cheek with her hand and slowly brought her lips to his.  As they kissed he could hear her in his heart. _“Yes Imzadi. I am yours, and you are mine.”_ His arms drew her closer as they deepened their kiss. 

 

Slowly, gently; he pulled back and took the ring from his pocket. She took the box from his trembling hand.  As the box was opened a smile spread across her face. “It was my great-great-grandma’s.  If you would prefer something else let me know.  I just…it reminded me of you.”

 

She handed it back to him, “Put it on me.” Carefully he placed it on her finger and kissed it. “It’s perfect Len.” She kissed him again.  This time as he held her he knew she would always be his.

 

Jim ran up to Mama.  She had been relaxing when she heard them pulling up the drive.  As she stood to greet them, she found herself enveloped in a bear hug.  “Thank you Mama! Thank you so much.”

 

Lena was laughing at his enthusiasm.  “I’m just glad you’re happy.”  She pulled back to look him in the eye; she was serious. “Jimmy, I know about your family.  No matter where your life takes you, no matter how crazy things may get; I want you to always feel at home here.  You are going to do great things.  I believe the galaxy will know who you are by the time you are done; but here you will always just be Jimmy. Here you will always be safe.”

 

He hugged her as he buried his face in her neck; as he felt her hand on the back of his head holding him. He didn’t want to cry.  “Mom, thank you for all of this.  I guess you are stuck with me now.”

 

“Baby, stuck isn’t the right word.  I’m blessed to have you in my life. Where are Len and Seri?”

 

Jim jumped back. “Oh god! I think he is asking her to marry him.”

 

“Good! He needs someone like her.”

 

“She needs him as well. She needs his strength as much as he needs hers.”

 

“Can I give you a bit of advice? Actually, it’s more like imparting wisdom.”

 

Jim took a seat across from her as she sat in the big wicker chair. “Please, before Captain Pike no one ever gave me advice.  My aunt and uncle did a little, but they were always busy.”

 

“Jimmy, one day I see you becoming a great captain.” He turned bright red. “No really, you have the personality for it.  Just remember there is strength in needing others.  Too many people feel that they have to do everything on their own.  That thinking shows a lack of strength. All three of you have a hard time relying on others.  All three of you need to start.  Start with each other.  You can let others in later.”

 

He thought about everything she was telling him.  This trip had illustrated how much stronger they were as a unit.  Mama was right; in the future they could rely on each other.  There was strength in family.  “Jimmy, I’m not saying trust everyone; but when you find someone you can truly trust lean on them if you need to do so.”

 

“I know not to trust everyone.  Right now I only completely trust three people; but, I trust the three of you with my life.  It isn’t easy for me, but Len and Seri have helped me to see what love and trust are.”

 

Mama got up and kissed him on the forehead. “Let’s go in baby. They’ll be a while whether she says yes or no; and dinner isn’t going to make itself.” As he followed behind her, Jim realized how right she was.  Eventually he would meet others he would want close to him, but he would always choose carefully.


	18. chapter 18

Spock looked intently at Len. In the years he had known him, he had never seen the doctor like this. Mylus had almost broken him, but Spock knew Leonard was strong enough to survive. “Doctor, I am pleased to see you have physically recovered. Nyota has been very worried about you.”

Len smiled weakly; Spock would never admit to being worried. “I’m just a little stiff.” There was silence as Spock and he sat down. “Spock, I wanted to thank you.”

“There is no need.”

“Yes, there is. Don’t tell me you coming down there was a logical decision. We both know it wasn’t. You came for me. It means a lot. So, thank you.”

“You are welcome Leonard. I understand that you are emotionally compromised at this time.”

“I am trying Spock. I’m really trying to move past this.” He hung his head and stared at his hands. “I tried to be more like you, eliminate my feelings. I ended up vomiting. I want this to be over; I need it to stop.” He was becoming desperate.

“Leonard, none of us can truly eliminated emotions. Vulcans spend many years learning to, but the emotions are still there. We are trained to suppress them. In essence we hide them.” McCoy was staring at the Vulcan. “When I choose not to feel, I am simply accepting my situation. I stop fighting, and I accept.”

“But how can I do that Spock? How can I accept what happened?”

Spock held his eyes. “As a human you must face it. Talk through it. Only then can you accept and find peace.”

“I’m scared.”

“That, though not logical, is understandable.”

“Thanks.” Spock had become use to the doctor’s sarcasm.

“Leonard, this is simply talking about what happened. These things have happened, but they are not happening now. Now you are safe. You must remember that.”

“But if I say it, then it is real.”

“It is real regardless of whether you say it or not.” Spock was correct.

“I’m being foolish, aren’t I?”

“No, you are being human. It is natural to feel as you do. I simply wanted you to gain some perspective. Hopefully this will help.”

Len thought about it. Spock was right; he needed to face not only what he had done, but also what had been done to him. “Thank you, Spock.”

“You are welcome, Leonard.”

Len knew friendship was a difficult concept for Spock, but he was as close to him as he was to Jim. This discussion had been difficult for Spock. Leonard would never forget all that Spock had some for him; not just on Mylus, but also in the cabin. He couldn’t wait to go home, have the entire family under one roof. He would have to face Mylus before that could happen. He needed to face it as soon as possible, before he had time to think and have the fear return.

As he flopped onto the couch goals came to mind. Home, that was the goal. Heal and home was the reward, Joanna was the reward, marriage was the reward. The conversation had been tiring, no that wasn’t correct, it had been exhausting. As he leaned back, his eyes closed and his mind drifted back to that Georgian summer.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

He had asked Seri to marry him and she had said yes. She actually said yes. As he held her on the banks of his pond, he never wanted the moment to end. “Len, why were you so scared?”

  
He stepped back to look into her eyes. “Because you could have said no.”

“That wasn’t possible. I’ve been yours for months. You never noticed, but I have.”

“Jim said something similar to that. He said we were dating from the first day we met.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly. “You talked to Jim about this? He knew all day? That explains it.”

“Explains what?”

“Why he asked me about having children.”

He took her hand as they started to walk along the pond’s edge toward the back of the house. “I didn’t ask him to do that. I never even mentioned children.”

She laughed. “Jim’s just taking care of you.” As her eyes caught his she saw the concern. “I want children. I want your children. Do you want any more?”

“Seri, I want children with you. I want to see you sitting on the porch holding our baby. Is that too sappy for you?”

“No, I want a life with you and all that holds.” As he took her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers, he could feel her open for him. She was his, body and soul. As their kiss deepened, the summer breeze blew over the pond.

Jim had a question for Mama about something that had been bothering him since they arrived at the farm. He wasn’t sure if Len had lied to him the day they met. He didn’t seem like the type who would lie, but the more Jim saw Len’s world, the less their conversation made sense.

Mama was pulling pies from the oven. She was enjoying her vacation. Jo would be there tomorrow and there might not be time to get the baking done with the kid around. Her back was to Jim, but she could feel him as he stared at her. “What is it Jimmy? You’re going to stare a hole right through me.”

“When I met Len, he said that his ex-wife quote, took the whole damn planet in the divorce. But, I’ve noticed money doesn’t seem to be a concern for him.”

She sat down next to Jim. “He wasn’t referring to money. Joce took his self-respect and trust. But he hurt her as well. After his dad died, he changed. All of his anger centered on her until she couldn’t take it anymore. In the end, she wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt her. She took Joanna. They have worked past it all and are friends now, but that was what he meant. She took his world.”

“So, she did take the whole damn planet.”

“Joce is a good person, but Len needs someone stronger, and maybe a little smarter. Joce isn’t stupid by any stretch, but she isn’t as smart as Len. It’s important to marry your equal, and I don’t think they were well matched. In the end it all turned out, but there was a lot of heartache. Seri is different. She is a match for him. She can take anything he cares to dish out, and give it right back. She will never let him walk all over her.”

Jim laughed, “No, she definitely won’t do that. I don’t think he means to walk over anyone; but, when he is upset it can happen if the other person isn’t strong enough.”

“I’m willing to bet you are the same way.”

“Maybe a little. I hope she says yes.”

“I doubt she will turn him down. I see the way she looks at him.”

“Yeah, she would be an idiot to say no, and Seri is no idiot.”

Len and Seri finished their walk to the house. “Should I call Joce and tell her we are engaged?”

“You should, or tell her when she gets here tomorrow.” He pulled out the rocker for her as she finished climbing the stairs. “Just make sure you talk to Jo. You should be the one to tell her.”

When do you want to tell your family?”

“I want to tell my dad as soon as possible. We could call him tomorrow, or maybe go there and tell him in person. I want you to meet him as soon as possible. Mom won’t be happy, but dad will love you.”

“Your mom won’t like me? How do you know that?”

“You are a strong, intelligent, human, male. She’ll hate that.”

Concern registered on his face. “Will that bother you? I know you two don’t get along, but she is still your mother.”

Seri understood his concern. Len would never want to come between her and her family. He loved her far too much to want to cause her any pain or regret. “No, it won’t bother me at all. I shall marry the man I love, not simply someone who my mother chooses. She would love me to marry a stupid, weak, man. Could you ever imagine that would make me happy? I adore you Len, even with all of your faults.”

He looked at her and cocked one eyebrow. She was grinning at him. Suddenly she became very serious. “What if Joanna doesn’t want us to get married? What will you do then? Will you break it off?”

“No. I love my daughter with all my heart, but I won’t give you up. She loves you. Every time we talk she wants me to tell you hello and everything she has been doing.” He got up and knelt in front of her. Her arms were thrown around his neck as he stood up lifting her feet off the ground. Her legs wrapped around his hips as they held onto each other.

By the time the two came into the house, dinner was made and Mama and Jim were in the den waiting for them. Grits had laid across Jim’s lap, and Snuffles was at Lena’s feet. Len and Seri came into the room and both dogs jumped up. Lena got up and hugged Seri. “I don’t have to ask what the answer was, it is written all over your faces.” She happily hugged Len and whispered into his ear, “Be happy baby. She is a wonderful woman and you are both good for each other. Never forget, she comes first.”

He looked at her with genuine confusion. “Even before Jo?”

“May we have this conversation after dinner? There isn’t a quick answer to your question.”

He let it go for the time being. Jim picked Seri up as he swung her around, then gave Len a hug. “Congratulations! I’m happy for both of you, but mostly Len. You found someone to put up with your ass.”

“Shocking isn’t it.” Len was enjoying the banter. Nights such as this one were no longer a thing of the past.

“Bones, Seri, time for dinner!”

Dinner was spent with good food and laughter. Len ran into the wine cellar. He went to the refrigerated racks and grabbed a 2240 Chateau Montelena chardonnay. Usually he didn’t care for a white wine, but this one was special. After it was opened and allowed to breathe for about a half an hour everyone was poured a glass. “To my future wife, may you always be as happy as you are today. To my family, together we can conquer anything.” They had no way of knowing how true that statement was. Later, they would even conquer death.

Jim and Seri took their glasses to the veranda to watch the sun set; while Len and Mama went to finish their talk in the den. “Mama, what did you mean earlier when you said that Seri comes first, even before Jo?”

“Len, please don’t misunderstand; Jo is important. She is your baby. But, Seri will be your wife. Never lose sight of who the two of you are. You will both put the children; note my optimism of you giving more grandchildren; before yourselves. Especially when they are small, their needs will come first. But, don’t forget at the end you are husband and wife. Children grow and start their own lives, that is the way it should be. Never forget to be husband and wife before you are mom and dad. If you don’t, once the children move out, you may find you don’t know who your wife is.”

He sipped the wine and mulled over what his mother had said. She was right. He would try to remember that he was a husband first, and a father a very close second. “I’ll try Mama. I never want to wake up next to a stranger. I want to wake next to my extraordinary wife.”

“We should join them outside.” They headed to the veranda for a relaxed evening. The tornado would arrive tomorrow along with Callie and Ginny. Lena braced herself for a full house.

Slowly everyone drifted up to bed. Grits followed Jim into his room. Len and Seri decided a long hot shower together would feel wonderful. Seri made sure the water was the perfect temperature as Len turned down the bed, and stripped. It was amazing how comfortable everything felt; as if they had been doing this for years.

He stepped in close behind her. The water had just finished being adjusted as he reached down to pull her shirt up and over her head. Instinctively her arms went up as the shirt was slipped off and her bra quickly unhooked and removed. Her jeans and panties were pulled down as kisses were places lightly down her body. “By the end of tonight I want to know every millimeter of your body.”

“By the end of tonight, there is no part of your body I shall leave untouched.” He came up and captured her mouth, controlling the kiss. As they separated she whispered, “I never said I would only use my hands.

With that Seri was backed into the shower. “No talking.” he growled, “Only our minds. Only our minds, complete silence.”

“Yes, no sounds.”

With that he took the wash cloth, put the verbena scented body wash on it and began a very detailed cleaning of his fiancé. She did the same for him, leaving no spot on his body untouched. Len reached to turn off the water. “ _No_.”

He looked down as she knelt with the water falling behind her. _“No Peaches, the balcony.”_

He turned off the water as she stood up. They didn’t dry off, but he grabbed a towel and she grabbed a pillow from the couch. In June the Georgia nights were warm, but the breeze left a cool feeling on their skin.

Seri took Len’s hand and led him until they stood in front of one of the pillars. She knew what she wanted, and a pillar might be necessary. The pillow was dropped onto the floor in front of him. Seriana wasn’t submissive, but something about being on her knees in front of this man sent heat through her. She palmed his balls and gently took his cock into her mouth. He wanted her to suck harder, he wanted to thrust forward as his eyes closed, but he waited.

As her tongue wrapped around the head; as the sound echoed in his head, he had to force himself not to make any noise. Her hands made their way to his ass as she pushed him forward slightly. With his eyes closed he hadn’t noticed her allowing saliva to fall from her mouth onto the index finger of her left hand. After she pushed him forward she parted his cheeks and ran her finger around his opening. He almost protested, but she began to suck harder as she stimulated every nerve ending he thought he had.

_“Len, if you want me to stop just tell me.”_

He couldn’t think. It took a second, _“Please don’t stop.”_ She smiled as she took him farther into her mouth. He grabbed onto her as he forced himself not to thrust deeper. Her lips stretched around him as he watched entranced.

Before he realized what was happening she had inserted her index finger into him, and then stopped. It allowed him to relax as she drug her tongue up the underside of his cock. _“Remember, no noise.”_ With that she moved her finger to massage his prostate from the inside. The feeling was electric; all through him. Len had never felt anything like it. The sensation wracked his entire body as he struggled not to move or scream.

He removed his hands from her hair, and placed them on the pillar in front of him. He couldn’t trust himself not to pull too hard on her hair. Without the support of the pillar Len was sure he would fall over. His legs were shaking and his balls had pulled up. He didn’t know if he wanted to push against her hand, or thrust into her mouth; he wanted both at the same time, but it was physically impossible.

Seri could feel him losing control, he wanted everything all at once. She pushed farther into him as the massage was continued. At the same time, she tried to pull him closer to her. As she grabbed his ass she could feel him trying to stop her. _“No, I’m going_ _to_ _cum.”_ With that she pushed him deeper into her mouth as she applied constant pressure to his prostate. He couldn’t hold back, and moaned as he emptied himself down the back of her throat. He continued to thrust weakly through the aftershocks.

Slowly the finger was withdrawn as she stood up. He leaned on her, unable to stand up unaided. She ran the fingers of her right hand through his hair as he stood trembling in her arms. It took several minutes for his breathing and heart rate to slow.

_“I’m sorry Peaches. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”_ He pulled back as he ran his fingers down the side of her face.

_“I did."_ She had a twinkle in her eye, and what Len would term a “shit eaten grin” on her face.

_“I’ve never had anyone do that to me before.”_

_“You mean for you. Did you ever trust anyone enough to let them? It really is a trust thing.”_

_“No. I doubt I would have ever let anyone else finger me. What about you?”_

She blushed, _“No, I never wanted to try that with anyone but you.”_

_“Do you trust me that much?”_

_“Imzadi, I trust you with my soul. And yes, I would like_ _you to try it with me if you want.”_ As he kissed her, she opened under him as their tongues caressed. _“I need_ _to wash my hands.”_

_“Definitely a good idea.”_ As she came out of the bathroom he went in. _“Seri, I won’t be long.”_

_“I’ll just lie down.”_

When he came back she was under the covers playing with her ring. Len never believed he could love a woman the way he loved her. _“Len, the silence_ _thing, is it still in place?”_

_“Yes darlin’ it is. No noise.”_

_“Okay.”_ He removed the covers and laid on top of her, holding himself up with his arms so as not to crush her. _“I won’t break.”_

Lightly his fingers traced every inch of her face. He wanted to memorize everything about her; not just how she looked, but how she felt. Her hands reached up and lightly brushed the hair from his forehead. She traced her way down his face spreading her fingers until they gently touched across his cheeks. Over the months hours had been spent studying his face; over the PADD, across the dinner table, across the operating table, even as he slept. Never had she studied him in this detail. She wanted to remember every curve, every muscle.

It wasn’t long before they turned on their sides and their hands found their way over every millimeter of their lover’s body. All thoughts disappeared as feelings quickly replaced them. They could feel everything; everything they felt, everything their lover felt. It was overwhelming. _“I love you Len. No matter what comes; please never doubt that.”_

He met her eyes. _“You are my life. I will love you until the day I die.”_ He kissed her as their bodies became flush with each other. Fingers tangled into Len’s hair, pulling him closer. Slowly he shifted her under him. The kiss was broken as he drug his tongue to the side of her neck and made his way down her body with feather light kisses.

Her moan was contained in her head; it was hard not to let the noise escape. She felt the seductive smile against her hip. His touch had her moving against his hand; it moved between her thighs, urging them apart. She opened for him. Fingers drug lazily down her folds as he gently rubbed her clit. Kisses were placed across her stomach as he inserted one, then two fingers into her, making sure to hit her spot. She bit back a scream.

Len was building her up slowly. He played her the way she played the piano. _“Turn over.”_ Without hesitation she did as she was told. He made his way to the back of her neck; licking, biting, kissing. She arched under him as he started to lick down her spine. He inserted his fingers again, and made sure to get the perfect angle. He wanted her to cum; to hear her scream. _“It’s okay. Make all the noise you want. Scream for me.”_ Seri pushed herself hard onto his fingers as she came screaming into the pillow for him to fuck her.

His hand was soaked. If his dick hadn’t already been painfully hard that would have been all he would have needed to get there. Her breathing calmed as she tried to turn over. Len gently placed his hand on her lower back. _“Don’t move. I’m not done yet._ ” He licked across her lower back as he placed his hand under her, lifting her bottom half into the air until she was on her knees with her chest on the bed. The fingers of his right hand ran between her folds. She was so wet. He brought them from the front of her body straight back until they ran between her butt cheeks. He wanted her completely wet. She was dripping, he drug her juices up until she was soaked all the way to her lower back.

  
Seri continued to arch under his touch; pushing her ass in the air begging him to fuck her. _“Please, please I need you. Please.”_ Len bit her ass as he began to play with her opening. He inserted two fingers from his left hand into her vagina as he circled her anus with his right index finger. One finger was inserted into her. She felt the burn and involuntarily clamped down on him. He stopped moving either hand until her body adjusted to the new sensations. Once it did, he began moving his right finger in and out of her, helping her stretch until he added a second and then a third.

She was moaning into the pillow; their pact long since forgotten. “Now, please now.” Len removed his fingers and added saliva to his hand, quickly coating his cock with it. Slowly he entered her, careful to allow her time to stretch. She could feel the pressure and the burn as her opening stretched to allow all of his thick cock inside. Seri had never felt anything like it. She should hate it, tell him to stop; but the mild pain drove her crazy.

She wanted him inside her as far as he could go. Len was careful to push in slowly, but Seri thrusted back against him. He took the cue and buried himself fully into her. This felt different, tighter. He bit back a loud moan as her hips rotated under him. As he bent over her back he brought his right hand under her. The right hand held him up; his left played with her clit, rubbing it with his thumb as he inserted two fingers.

Her scream was heard in his head as she screamed into the pillow. _“Are you okay?”_

_“Len, don’t stop…ever.”_ Even in her thoughts she could only moan out the last word. The thrusts became steady as his fingers pushed on his cock from inside her. The sensation was almost too intense for both of them. His sweat dripped onto her as his pace quickened. Her walls spasmed around his fingers as her body started to shake.

_“Cum for me baby. Trust me.”_ With that she lost herself; biting at the pillow as she screamed his name. His orgasm came over him like a wave. He felt it build and waited until the last second, then pulled out as he grabbed his cock and came over her ass and back. After, he fell back onto the bed and crawled his way up until they were facing each other. He kissed her on the nose as she brought her hand up to his cheek.

“Len,”

“Yes Peaches?”

“I can’t move.”

Their laughter could probably be heard all over the house. “Me either; but we will have to at some point. We both desperately need a shower, and the bed needs to be changed.”

She smiled. “Okay, but let’s wait until I can feel my legs.” Eventually they got up, showered, and changed the bed. They slid under the covers and held each other close. It would be the last night for at least a week they would be able to sleep naked in each other’s arms. Seven-year-olds could get up early and jump into whosever bed they felt like.


	19. chapter 19

Len raised his head from the back of the couch.  It was a nice memory, but he needed to get this over with. _“Seri, can you come here please?”_

_“I’ll be right there.”_ Seconds later she entered with a metronome and a pen light. “Len, they are just in case.” She could feel his anxiety as it rose.  He knew, if he couldn’t get through this, if his panic rose to the point he couldn’t complete the story, she would use EMDR.  Though an old method, it was very effective on humans. It would take away the panic; the problem was the patient had to relive the memory several times. They had to talk about it in detail over and over as the brain was reset in between each telling of the incident.  By the end, the patient could tell the story without any panic; then the therapy could move forward. 

 

Len didn’t want this.  He didn’t want to relive it over and over.  Seri knew this. “Leonard!” He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her. “These are a last resort.  I may not need them; but better to be prepared.  Do you remember all those years ago when you told me about your father’s death?”

 

“Yes.”  He remembered the dream she put them in to address his father’s death.  He relived it, he didn’t just remember it; but she was there.  He wasn’t alone.

 

“Do you want to talk this through, or do you want me to guide you like before?”

 

He got up and started to pace. To Seri he looked like a caged animal. He wanted to run away; but the doctor knew that would solve nothing. “I don’t know.  Right now, I don’t know anything.”

 

She walked over to him and took his hand. “Then why don’t we just sit here for a while. There is no rush.”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“Know what?”

 

“That I was ready to talk.”

 

“I could feel you.”

 

“So, you know how scared I am.   I should have realized that. Seri,”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I feel like I’m losing my mind.  I can’t shut down.”

 

She could feel him escalating, the panic was getting worse. “I’m here and you are safe. Let’s sit over there. We can talk about anything you want.” She needed him to calm down before they began.  As they sat she carefully observed him; eyes darted around the room, every muscle tense, jaw set, hands that shook. He didn’t bother to hide his body language from her. “Len, what do you want to talk about?”

 

He stared at her blankly. What should he talk about: how the medical replicator needed recalibration, how the pond was being dredged this year, how Joanna had a new boyfriend, how the Mylans had a hook that dug into the skin and ripped his abdomen open as it was pulled across, or maybe how they took a rectangular shaped piece of metal and shoved it into the gaping wound the hook left?

 

“Len, I won’t go where I am not invited; therefore, I don’t know where you went just then.”

 

“For the first time I do not know what to say to you.”

 

Seri stood and held out her hand. Leonard took it; perhaps a little harder than he meant. “I won’t break. Let’s lie down.  We don’t have to sleep; but, I think you could use the rest.” Most of their best conversations happened in bed.  It was a calm and safe area for both of them. This would go easier if she could make him feel safe. The room was barely lit, and the sheets from home made the bed feel safe and inviting.

 

Over the years her chest had become his favorite pillow.  The sound of her heart; when he heard it, his heart tried to beat in time to hers. It was relaxing. “Len, I talked to Mama.” He tensed. “Don’t worry; I didn’t tell her details, just that things are bad. She, Callie, and Jo will meet us when we dock.  George is going to try to be there also; it depends on how the trial goes. Joce and Evan will meet us at the farm.”

 

“I don’t want them to know what happened. I don’t want them to pity me. It’s bad enough that you and Jim do.  I can’t have everyone I love seeing me as a victim.”

 

She slid him off her chest and slipped down the pillow until they were facing each other. “Is that what you think? You think we see you as an object of pity?”

 

“Why wouldn’t you?  Think about the past week. I’m broken; and be honest, you don’t know if I can come back from this. What if talking about things makes it worse? What if I can’t move beyond the panic?”

 

She put her fingers to his lips, effectively stopping his rant. “I don’t pity you. None of us do. We are concerned because we love you.”

 

“Even Spock?” At least he still had some of his sense of humor.

 

“Yes. Being honest; I can get you through this, but you are going to need to trust me.  You have to trust me even more than you did concerning your dad’s death.  Can you do that? Can you trust me enough to surrender your control to me?”

 

Loss of control; that was his deepest fear. Here control was not lost, but given. There was enough trust between them for him to surrender his heart, body, and soul; but control over his mind, complete control, that was different. “Seri, I don’t know. You know it terrifies me.  I trust you, I really do. But, this is different for me. I don’t know why, but it is.”

 

“Me leading your dream would be your choice.  I would never force you.  If you decide you want me to, you just have to let me in. If you do, I promise to keep you safe. I won’t leave, no matter what happens, I will be with you.” He looked away. “Len, you don’t have to do it.  I understand what you are feeling.  I don’t think that you don’t trust me.”

 

That was it, trust.  He trusted her. With Seriana he would always be safe.  No words this time. He situated himself so he could put his head on her chest. Gently she played with his hair as she centered them both.  His breathing became slow and steady.  This time she needed to wait until he was in a deep sleep. Mentally he welcomed her into his horror; she simply needed to wait until he was in such a deep sleep he could not easily wake himself up.

 

Seri had only done this once before.  She had guided dreams before; but only once before had she taken someone this deep. After Kahn, Len had asked if she could help Jim using this technique.  Jim had run circles around the other counselors, and Dr. McCoy needed his patient to come to terms with what had happened.  It was done without anyone else present.  If McCoy had seen her after the secession, he never would have allowed her to do this with him.

 

Sleep came quickly; he was exhausted mentally, and physically. After a half an hour Seri slid out from under him, took his hand, and closed her eyes. She was scared but couldn’t let him know. Suppression of emotions on that level was hard for her, but she managed it.

 

_She walked through his door and into a damp stone hole. “I’m here. Where are you?” The “lights” came up enough for her to see around the room. They were in a cell; there were two walls made of grey, wet, mildewed stones; and two made of metal bars, one light hung dimly from the ceiling._   _Only she and Leonard were in the cell.  He stood in front of her, facing her, terrified. “I’m here. Len, you are strong enough to do this.”_

_“Am I? I don’t feel it.”_

_“Do you trust me?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Show me what happened as Pavel lay wounded in your arms.”_

_“You said this would only be about me.  Not him, not that. Please Seri, please.”_

She went deeper into his mind. _“Show me now.”_

_The room changed. Hylee and Trexel were asleep as they leaned against the shorter stone wall.  Seri looked around the cell.  Only the Len that took her there would know they were there. Unlike the time with his dad; this time she had him stand next to her and watch himself. She could smell everything: urine, feces, blood, decay, death. They watched him hold Pavel.  The two men were on the dirt floor not far from the cell door; the young man’s head rested in the doctor’s lap. “Please Seri no.”_

She went deeper. _Pavel looked up at Leonard “Help me please.”  Blood stuck the kid’s shirt to his body. Len raised the bottom of the shirt to look at the damage.  Seri took his hand and moved them closer to the scene. The damage was almost unimaginable. How was he still alive? He screamed as Len lifted the bottom of his shirt past his stomach. The doctor could see the fat beneath the ripped tissue, in areas intestine showed through the blood. The burns were worse; they went beneath the layers of skin well into the muscle._

_“I have you kid.  I won’t let them hurt you anymore.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“Have I ever lied to you?”_

_Pavel wouldn’t take his eyes from Len’s. “Never.”_

_He couldn’t fix this.  Soon they would come and take the kid again. This time he wouldn’t survive. He had promised him. Len ran his fingers soothingly through his friend’s hair. “Pavel, I love you.”_

_“I love you too Leonard.  I understand. I know you love me, and you will help me.” His voice was fading._

_“I can’t fix this kid.”_

_“I know.”_

_Len found Pavel’s cross and shakily put the sharp end against the kid’s throat. “I’m sorry.  I love you.”_

_“I love you too.” Pavel smiled weakly; he knew what the doctor was going to do. “It’s alright Len. Thank you.”_

_With that Len pushed the cross into Pavel’s carotid artery and sliced through it leaving a small gash. The blood pumped out, over Len’s fingers and down Pavel’s neck.  They kept their eyes fixed on each other’s until Pavel couldn’t see him anymore._

_Seri took his hand and walked closer._ He was fighting her; fighting to wake up. She went deeper. _She refused to let go of his hand. He closed Pavel’s eyes and cradled the kid’s head against his stomach; rocked him as he would a sick child. He didn’t cry; no one could see him like that.  He was the senior officer._

_The lights began to dim. “No Leonard, we aren’t done yet.” He fought her harder, pulled at her hand to leave. She fought back; held his hand tighter, drug him farther into the dream._

_The “lights” came up again.  Nothing about the scene had changed.  Suddenly the guards came violently through the cell door.  Their grey helmets came down till they covered everything but their mouths. They could tell Pavel was dead, so they went for Len. Hylee and Trexel jumped up to stop them. “No! That’s an order!” They both reluctantly stopped.  Len was drug out of the cell. Everything went dark._

_Seri found herself in a rectangular room.  There was a running furnace at one end with metal rods that laid on the floor half in the fire.  Chains hung from the ceiling along with thick ropes. On the long wall there was a long metal table with a metal back.  Hooks with various wires, tubes, and thin hooks, on them hung from the table’s back. Seri walked up to the table; various smooth and serrated blades with thick handles lay on the table top. A bucket hung with a hose near a drain to the right side of the table._

_She walked to the opposite side of the room.  There was a metal box on legs. The box had small holes in the top; it was large enough to fit a human male if he folded his legs. There was a door that opened the entire front of the box; there were hinges on the top, a handle on the bottom, and hasps with metal locks through them on either side. In the middle of the room there was a waist high table slightly over six feet long. The table was made of thick metal; it had holes cut out all over the top, restraints were attached to the sides, top, and bottom.  Above the table hung a single light.  It was similar to the med bay lights. The light was on an arm, and could either be made into a single concentrated beam, or into a broader flood lamp that could encompass the entire table. There was only one door on the short wall opposite the furnace, and no windows.  The room was hot from the fire, but devoid of all smells.  Everything was pristine.  Something was wrong._

_She was alone in the room. “Leonard.” He still wasn’t there. “Len, you must come here. I won’t leave.” He still wasn’t there, but the room began to change. No longer spotless; there was blood caked on the table in the middle of the room, and pooled on the floor underneath it. The blades had blood crusted on them, turning them a sick black.  There was a stench that soaked into her sinuses: blood, decay, and vomit. She tried not to gag. “This is better, but you still need to be here with me. I’m here. You won’t be alone. You are always safe with me.”_

_She felt him behind her.  Her hand extended behind her for him to take. As he took it she connected with him, took on his emotions and some of the physical sensations._ She would have to work hard to control this, to remember that it wasn’t happening to her.

_“I need to see it.  Show me what happened.” Suddenly there were three Mylans in the room. “All of it.” The Mylans came into focus; one female and two males. They wore black leather uniforms.  Their grey skin and orange eyes seemed to glow. “All of it.”_

_“I can’t. Please Seri, don’t make me.”_

_“You can. You are the strongest man I have ever known.  I won’t leave you, no matter what happens.”_

_She moved them to the long wall next to the left side of the table. The door was thrown open as two masked guards shoved Leonard towards the middle of the room. He stared straight ahead and said nothing.  They stripped him until he stood naked in front of the female in charge.  The female looked him up and down with what passed for a smirk on her face._

_She said something to one of the guards that stood near her. Seri couldn’t understand what was being said.  At times like this, she wished she had Nyota’s gift for languages. Len’s grip tightened on her hand. “Please make it stop.” The room began to dim._ Quickly she pushed in deeper.  He couldn’t be allowed to wake.  If she could get him through this he would heal.

_Now she could feel everything more acutely: the fear, the heat, the anger, the humiliation. “Show me more. Show me everything.” Len moved closer to Seri; she could feel the warmth of his body. The female stepped closer to the doctor.  She ran her hands down his body. Seri could feel his heart rate rise and the feeling of nausea begin.  Suddenly the female grabbed his hair and yanked him across the room toward the chains._

_The two guards that brought him there left as the other two yanked the chains down and attached the end cuffs to Len’s wrists. The female came close to him, licked up the side of his face, grabbed his dick, cackled, and left the room. As she exited, a male entered.   He was dressed similar to the others, except he wore thick leather gloves.  He headed directly to the doctor._

_The doctor and the Mylan stared at each other; the Mylan with curiosity, the doctor with hatred and defiance. Everything in the scene stopped. “Len, you can let them talk, or you can tell me what they are saying.”_

_“Let them talk.  I can’t do it.”_

_“You have to allow them to speak.” She continued the scene. As she did, the scene of his waking nightmare unfolded._

_“You are a Starfleet officer?” The Mylan spoke standard.  Leonard didn’t answer. “You will be more fun than the last one.  He was a child. I prefer to dance with a man.” Seri could feel the fear of the Len in the scene, though all he showed the Mylan was defiance.  “My name is Dardrok. We are going to get to know each other very well.  I don’t want to hurt you.  All of this can be so unpleasant.  We are both civilized men.  I need some information.  You give me what I need and we can skip the unpleasantries. Your subordinate chose the uncivilized route; hopefully you are a more reasonable man.  But maybe first a short dance.”_

_Dardrok stepped toward the fire.  Seri felt the panic, but the Leonard that held her hand was calm.  The connection was strong enough now.  Seri was taking enough of his fear and pain to allow him to continue.  Dardrok picked up the metal cylinder from the fire.  He eyed its white-hot end as he walked over to Len.  His eyes glowed in the light of the of the fire. With a signal to the two guards, Len’s arms were yanked up over his head and secured so he couldn’t move._

_“Where should we start? Maybe here? Or, maybe here?” Dardrok moved the thick rod from in front of Leonard’s chest to his groin area. Suddenly he put it to Len’s right side, just under his ribs.  Just as quickly it was removed, along with several layers of skin.  Len gritted his teeth together, not allowing a scream to escape._

_“Now you understand how well I know this dance.  Do you want to talk to me, or should we continue with the unpleasantries?  What is your position on the Enterprise?” Len knew he could give name, rank, and serial number.  Illogically, he didn’t want to give this interrogator even that information.  It was the only control he had left. “The unpleasantries it is.  Strap him to the table.  The Lieutenant Commander and I have a lot to talk about.”  They dropped the chains and pulled him over to the table.  He didn’t fight; it would use a lot of energy, and in the end, be pointless._

_He was strapped down tightly to the table. “Now doctor, should we start.”  Len turned his head to look at Dardrok.  “Did you think I didn’t know who you were?  My dear doctor, I know more about you than you could possibly imagine.”  He walked to the table and chose a blade with small serrations._

_“So, doctor, should we talk about Joanna? She is a beautiful young woman. So lovely, do you think she would like to dance with me?” Dardrok closed his eyes as if he were imagining the scenario of Joanna in his arms. With that he drug the blade across Leonard’s lower abdomen. “Maybe I would be her first partner. That would be delicious.” It took all of his control not to scream; not to try to get free.  He needed to show nothing._

_Seri, he needed to reach out to her; he concentrated on her.  He felt her, she would keep him safe.  Even if he died, he would still be safe. The blade was drug across him again.  It ran parallel to the burn and about four centimeters under it.  Len hissed as he stared at the light. “Oh doctor, you make a wonderful partner.  This could last for days.  Karkin I need the kettle and a spoon.  The doctor needs to be cleaned.  Turn him over.”_

_He was turned over and strapped down again.  He fought none of it.  “Remember doctor, you can end this at any time. Tell me to stop and I will.  You just have to tell me.  Once we stop, you and I can have a civilized conversation.”  Leonard would never tell him to stop.  If he did, Dardrok would win.  If this was a dance to Dardrok, it was a game to Leonard.  How long could he hold out before biology took over?_

_The kettle contained boiling water.  It was poured in strips across his back using the spoon and a towel. The water left first and second degree burns across his lower back.  He could do it; he could get through it without making a sound.  He thought of Seri, Joanna, Jim, Mama, Callie, George, Jocelyn, Evan, Scotty, Sulu, Nyota, and even Spock. His family, the ones he loved and who loved him.  They would get him through this. They would be his last thoughts.  Seri, Joanna; what would they think? Would they know how much he loved them? Did he tell them enough? Had he showed them as much as he could?_

_The burns flared as one of the smooth blades was drug across his back several times. “I’m sorry doctor, but you do need to be cleaned again. I don’t like dirt.”  Something wet was dumped on his back.  It felt like acid, but for all he knew, it could have been simply water as it hit his burns.  “Turn him back over.  You know doctor, I am surprised.  I thought humans were weak and soft. Not you. No, I admire you. I really do. You are strong. I am glad we had this opportunity to meet. This is becoming a most satisfying exercise. Make sure he drinks.  I will be back soon.” With that, Dardrok left the room._

_One of the guards took the straps off of Leonard and helped him sit up slowly.  The guard called Karkin filled a cup with water and handed it to their prisoner.  Len’s hands shook so badly he couldn’t bring the cup to his mouth. Karkin gently held his hands, and kept the cup steady. The water was cold.  It felt good going down.  He drank slowly; no point in having it all come back up again.  Dehydration was setting in; he knew it could affect his judgement.  He managed to drink three full cups before Dardrok returned._

_“Well doctor, I am sorry to say the rescue party they sent for you was unsuccessful.  Pity, I would have liked to have talked to them.  Unfortunately, the guards can be over enthusiastic at times. You know how it is with kids. Shall we continue? I was wondering something; what is the color of your shirt?”_

_Len knew what Dardrok was trying to do.  He would not lose his grip on reality. He wouldn’t talk to any of them. “It doesn’t matter.  We can go over basic colors later. Let us start again. Strap him down please.” He was strapped to the table._

_“Remember you can stop this at any time.  I need the graket.” The unnamed guard brought over the blade that resembled shark’s teeth. It curved to form a hook at the tip, but the rest of the blade looked like it had shark’s teeth down one side. Dardrok pulled another piece of metal from the fire. This one was flatter than the first, and much thinner._

_“I am sorry about this doctor; I truly am. But this was your choice.” He took the straight piece of metal and pushed it straight across Len’s abdomen.  It was all he could do not to scream. He wouldn’t give the asshole the satisfaction. The graket was held so Len could clearly see it. “This is my favorite.  It offers so many possibilities.” He lightly drug the graket across Len’s chest without breaking the skin. It was moved across his genitals; again, not breaking the skin._

_No matter how hard Len tried to fixate on those he loved, he couldn’t. Fear had taken over. The hook sunk into his skin above his left pelvic bone. One of the shark teeth was sunk into the hole; it gave a hold to allow the rest to sink in. They weren’t pushed in all the way; just the tips were in as they were drug across.  The flesh ripped as the graket easily made its way across and through multiple layers of flesh._

_He wanted to scream stop, but he didn’t.  If he was going to die, it would be on his terms. He wouldn’t give them what they wanted. He wouldn’t break. “Chain him up. Make sure he can stand. Humans can suffocate if they hang by their arms off the ground too long. And the doctor and I want to continue our dance later.”_

_The lights went dim._ She went deeper into him as he moved closer to her. _Len was hanging in the room.  The only light was the one over the table.  He didn’t know how long he had been there.  It could have been a few hours or all night.  Time meant nothing._

_He needed a bathroom. Eventually he wouldn’t be able to hold it any longer.  Len knew what they were trying to humiliate him.   Being forced to piss himself wasn’t going to do it.  He was a doctor; he knew the body could only hold a full bladder for so long._

_Eventually Dardrok came back in with two different guards. “Doctor, you made a mess. Clean him up.” The one guard went to the hose, unraveled it, and turned it on full force. He sprayed Leonard down; making sure he hit every wound. His body was on fire, and bleeding again.  When the guard was finished Dardrok came closer._

_“Isn’t that better? Nice and clean. I am sorry I took so long. My daughter won first place at her school’s science competition.  She grew a carchek from a seed.  They are notoriously hard to grow indoors.  I’m so proud of her.  One day, maybe, she will be a botanist like her mother.  Kainill is just like her mother.”_

_He walked over to the table and picked up a long flat blade.  Len watched every move.  He came back and stood in front of the bleeding man.  Without warning he stuck the blade into the worst of the wounds; turned it up, and pushed it just under the skin until it ran up his torso about five inches.  Leonard screamed._

_“That’s it doctor. That is what I wanted to hear. Take him down, get him dressed. Put him back in his cell.  Now you know doctor.  This is what defeat tastes like.  Now you are mine.”_

_They were back in the cell.  Hylee and Trexel were seated against the far wall; Pavel’s body hadn’t been moved.  The two guards from the torture chamber came down the hall with the doctor hung on their shoulders. They opened the cell door and shoved him in.  Both Hylee and Trexel came toward him. “I’m alright, just sit.”_

_Trexel stepped in front of him. “Doctor…”_

_“That’s an order.” They went back to the wall as he sat on the floor with Pavel.  Gently he placed the kid’s head in his lap as he ran his fingers through the reddish blond curls. “I’m sorry.” He repeated that softly for several minutes. Suddenly there was the sound of a transporter and a phaser.  There was someone crouched next to him saying something Len couldn’t completely hear. They were trying to take the kid.  He couldn’t let them. He promised him; no one would hurt him again._

_He heard the voice tell him to get up; he recognized it.  He picked up Pavel. Fuck it hurt. It was all he could do not to collapse. The voice was still talking.  He looked at its source; Spock, it was Spock.  He wanted to cry; to give the little control he had left to his friend, but he was the officer in charge until that point.  He couldn’t let the other two see him like that.  He felt Spock’s hand on his shoulder as the familiar golden lights of the transporter engulfed him._

_He was back on the Enterprise.  He could hear M’Benga tell him to give the boy to his team; he could feel Jim near him, but all he could see was Seri. Her eyes were a mixture of fear and relief.  He needed to get out of there. No one could see how broken he was, no one.  All went dark._

They both woke.  Seri was suppressing all thoughts and emotions.  He didn’t like that; he could always feel her, even if it was only a little, he could still feel her.  “It’s alright Imzadi.  Just part of the process.  I’ll be back with you after a good sleep. How are you feeling?”

 

“Calm, tired but calm.”

 

She had wanted to hear him say it.  Thankfully it had worked.  Given her past experience, she knew her control wouldn’t last more than an hour. “Len, I need to write a report for the Captain while all the details are still fresh.  I’ll grab some food after. I want you to get some rest.”

 

“Seri, are you alright? Was this too much for you?”

 

“I’m fine; just thinking about what to write. Get some rest.  I love you, don’t forget that.” She kissed him on the forehead and pulled up his covers.

 

“I love you too Peaches.” He closed his eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair.  He was asleep in minutes.

 

She took her PADD into the living room and sat in her favorite chair.  This needed to be completed as quickly as possible, and he needed food before her mental dam burst.  Once that happened she would be useless for hours.  Also, and more importantly, she didn’t want to be in Len’s cabin when it happened.  He couldn’t see it.  If he did, he would never forgive himself.

 

It didn’t take her long to fill out a detailed report and send it to the Captain.  She went to the mess to grab a few sandwiches and drinks to take back to his room.  Alpha shift had ended; Jim, Spock, and Scotty were seated in the corner.  She walked right by them without even a smile.  Scotty looked at Jim obviously worried.  Spock started to rise, but Jim stopped him. “I’ve got this, and you have to get to the bridge.  Thank you for the update Mr. Spock.” 

 

Mr. Spock, Jim only used that when he was in captain mode and did not want his orders questioned.  Spock went to the bridge, and Scotty went back to his quarters after Jim promised to let them know how their friends were doing.  Jim headed to Seri’s room.  He knew she would go there after she dropped the food off. Her cabin was empty, so he stood off to the side in the dark.  He didn’t want her to see him. In her present state, she couldn’t feel him.

 

It wasn’t long before she came into the cabin; her hand over her mouth as she quickly made her way to the bathroom.  He heard her vomiting; it startled him.  She never got like that, never.  How fucking bad had it been?  He hadn’t had time to read the report. He headed into the bathroom and quietly sat next to her rubbing her back.  In between spasms she looked to see who was near her.  Before she could ask him how he knew she needed him, she had to lean over the toilet again. 

 

“It’s alright Kiddo. I’m here. I’ve got you. Don’t worry, you’re alright.” He reached up to put cold water in a glass. “Sweetheart, take this.” She let him help her take a sip to rinse her mouth, then take a small drink. 

 

“I’m sorry. I’ll be alright.”

 

“Now you sound like Bones.” Suddenly she started to shake. “How are you feeling Kiddo. Jim’s voice was soft; the one he used when Jo had nightmares.

 

Her voice was shaky, tired. “Scared; no, terrified. I hurt.”

 

He picked her up like she was a rag doll and carried her to bed. His chest felt warm and comforting.  She felt safe being carried in his arms. “I have you baby. You’re safe.”

 

“Don’t tell Len. Please Jim, he can’t know how bad I am.” She was crying, her whole body convulsed with each sob as he laid her down. “I can’t. Jim, please make it stop. Please make it stop.” She was desperate.

 

He laid down next to her.  “I have you. You’re safe.  I’ll always keep you safe. Trust me baby.” She clawed at his shirt as she tried to get as close to him as possible.  He had one arm around her as he pulled her to him as tightly as possible.

 

Fury built up within Jim. He was afraid to read her report.  Afraid that if he read it he would disobey his orders and head back to Mylus. “Seri, baby, I need you to listen to my voice, just my voice.” He had learned this trick from Len, Mama, and Seri.  They had all used it on him over the years.  The fear and pain were claiming her as they tried to pull her under. “Listen to me, just me.” He held her arms tight against her body; she had been trying to push him away.  Her flight response was taking over.

 

His voice became firmer and louder.  “Seri, I need you to hear me now.  Listen to me. Trust me.” She started to calm and stopped fighting him. His grip relaxed and his voice softened. “Trust me baby. You are safe. No one is going to hurt you.  It’s over now.”

 

“No, it’s not. It will never be over.”

 

“Yes, it is. Listen to my voice.” Seri calmed more.   She could hear him and feel him. “In a few days we’ll be home.  Callie is staying at the house.  She wants to transfer to the Enterprise…” He talked to her about innocuous things.  As she listened to him talk, Jim gently shifted her so her head was laying on his chest.  The sound of his heart, along with the sound of his voice lulled her to sleep. Finally, she fell into a deep sleep, and Jim was able to slip out from under her.

 

There was a PADD on the coffee table.  As he sat on the couch he grabbed the PADD and entered his pass code.  Her file was the first to come up.  It contained every detail of what the Mylans had done to his brother.  No! Jim needed to stop thinking of it that way. The report held every detail of what they did to his CMO.  He needed to keep this impersonal; needed to be Captain Kirk, not Jimbo.

 

After several minutes he opened the file and began to read. He re-read several of the paragraphs, and committed it all to memory.  He decided to move Seri into Len’s room.  It would be better for both of them if they stayed close to each other. Carefully he picked her up.  She looked so small in his arms.  Funny, he never thought of her as tiny, she was such a force of nature. But here, broken as she was, cradled in his arms, she looked like a little girl.  This was a side of her only Len and he had ever seen.  

 

Jim carried her across to Len’s room, and carefully punched in the code.  The cabin was dark as he entered. “Lights 5%.” She cuddled into his chest more, but didn’t wake.  He laid her next to Len, pulled the covers over her, and kissed her on the forehead before heading to the bridge.  

 

“Captain on the bridge.”  Part of Jim thought he heard Chekhov's voice announce his arrival.  He nodded to Spock, went to his ready room, took out his PADD, and began to re-read Seri’s report.  It would have to be sent to Starfleet; but first he would redact how Pavel died.  The account would start with the guards taking the CMO from the cell as he ordered the two security personnel to stand down. It was all that Starfleet needed.  Command did not need anymore.

 

They needed to be home.  He needed to sleep in his bed.  He needed to see Callie, be with her.  He needed to hold Joanna.  He needed Mama to hold him.  Maybe a ride across the back fields would help; run out his need for revenge.  Jim sent the redacted report to Starfleet.  After, he laid on his couch looking at the ceiling.  Georgia, he closed his eyes and remembered Georgia.  It was the first time he had a family; the first time he was called Uncle Jim.


	20. chapter 20

 

The morning light shown through the cracks in between Jim’s curtains.  He had been up for a couple of hours getting his adjoining living room ready for the furniture delivery.  Joanna would be there soon. Jim was excited but scared. What if she didn’t like him? Except for Tarsus IV, Jim never had to deal with a little girl for more than a few hours.  Would he be good with her? While he took a shower, he decided to stop worrying about it.

 

He showered, got dressed, grabbed some coffee and headed for the stables.  The tack needed to be readied for Jo’s arrival.  The smell of the tack room was one of the few good memories Jim had of his childhood.  He loved to ride. Horses were his friends growing up in Iowa.  When he worked on the neighbor’s farm, Frank left him alone.  Old leather, horse sweat, saddle soap, and leather conditioner, permeated the room.

 

 Some of the bits needed to be thoroughly cleaned.  He filled a bucket with warm water and threw them in to soak.  Everything else looked perfect.  There were old, grass stained tooth brushes on the work bench.  He put the bucket on the table, grabbed a tooth brush, and started to work on the first bit.

 

Jim lost himself in the task; it was mindless and relaxing.  He hadn’t heard the door open behind him.  “Maggie really loves the clover by the pond.”

 

Jim jumped. “Bones! Don’t do that! Damn!” Len tried not to laugh; it didn’t work. “Which one is Maggie? I haven’t been to the stables yet.”

 

Len sat on the stool net to Jim as he continued to sip on his coffee.  “She is the appaloosa.  Maggie is pretty green.  She is barely two. Do you want to try her out later?”

 

Jim smiled. “I would love to play.  Easy horses aren’t as much fun. Is she at least broken? It is okay if she isn’t.”

 

“She is, but barely. Eventually we want to train her for Jo.  Just for a fun ride, not for breeding or show. They’ll be here in a couple of hours.  Are you okay? You are up early.”

 

“Yes. You are too.”

 

“Couldn’t sleep.  A lot has happened over the past few days.”

 

“I know; good and bad. Bones?”

 

Len had picked up a brush and started to help Jim.  “What kid?”

 

“What if Jo doesn’t like me?”

 

“Is that really what is bothering you? Jim, she’ll love you.  You make her laugh.  It doesn’t take much; just listen to her and let her know you care.  The rest will come to you.  I can tell, you are a natural with kids.”

 

“I hope so.  Where’s Seri?”

 

“She found the bubble bath.”

 

“Now she’ll never leave the bathroom.”

 

The bits were finished, and ready for the day’s ride.  “Jim, thank you.”

 

Jim was confused.  He hadn’t done anything special.  Bones had saved him; the doctor just didn’t realize it.  “For what?”

 

“Being here.  You stayed with me; it means a lot.”

 

Jim stood and placed a hand on the older man’s shoulder. “You never have to thank me for that.  Brothers forever, remember.  Bones, you saved me.  I had no one before you.  There is Pike, but sometimes I think he sees my dad and not me.  Maybe one day that will change.  No, I had no one before you. You gave me a home. You gave me a family.”

 

Len stood. “Thank you anyway.  I don’t have many people who love me.  I treasure those who do. Yes, brothers forever.” They made their way back to the house, and cleaned their mugs.  Jo would be there soon.

 

Mama came downstairs, kissed them both good morning, and excused herself to go check on the new calves and pick up Jo’s cake. She wanted them to have time with Jo.  If she was there, Jo might look to grandma.  This would ensure she went to daddy.  It would also be good for Jo to have Seri and Jim in her life.  Tomorrow she might have her baby help her with dinner, but for now Jo should be with Leonard.

 

Len went up to get Seri, while Jim waited for the furniture delivery and Jo.  As he entered the bathroom, Seri sank beneath the bubbles. _“I can still see your toes Peaches.”_ She popped up from under the bubbles, and wiped her face. “Jo will be here soon. Mama went to get her birthday cake from her favorite bakery.”

 

“Oh! I almost forgot!” She jumped out of the tub and grabbed a towel. “I have her gift in your bag. Please don’t let me forget it.”

 

“Bones! Seri! Are you guys in here?” Jim came rushing into the bedroom.  Len met him before he got to the bathroom. “I fucked up. I didn’t get her anything.”

 

“You did kid.”

 

“No, Bones I didn’t know it was her birthday.”

 

“Jim, I got her a few things.  We’ll make one of them from you. How about the pink saddle pad she wanted?”

 

“Are you sure?  Your gift should be the best.  You’re her dad, and dad’s gift should always be special.” Jim sounded wistful.

 

Len wasn’t about to let him go down that road.  “Don’t worry, I got her the saddle, leathers, and stirrups.”

 

“Next year I’ll make sure I don’t forget.”

 

Seri came out of the bathroom in a towel and flopped onto the couch as she grabbed her PADD.  She read the messages from her dad, mother, and sister. Her dad’s was answered saying she would be home in about a week; that things had gone well.  Also, she wanted him to meet Len.  The engagement wasn’t brought up; that would be done in person. “Baby, you know Jim is here?”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Hi Jim.  I didn’t want to forget to read my PADD yet again.”

 

“You know that towel doesn’t cover as much as you think.”

 

She looked down. “Shit!” Some bruises were evident on her inner thigh. “Oh well. Too late now.” She grabbed clothes out of the dresser and went into the bathroom. 

 

Both men stood there as they stared after her.  “Well one thing is for sure; your fiancé doesn’t embarrass easily.”

 

“Not after knowing you for a year.  I guess you eliminated that. Meet you downstairs Peaches.” The two men headed downstairs to wait for Jo.

 

It wasn’t long before Seri ran down the stairs and out to the front porch, little blue box in hand. “Len, where should I put this?”

 

“In the den.  It’s where Mama piled the gifts.”

 

She ran in, put it on the pile, and ran out again. “Len, I forgot to tell you; my cousin’s getting married in a couple of weeks.  Dad wants me to be there if I can.  Would you mind going with me? I know you hate space travel, so I understand if you don’t want to.  Jim, you were also invited. Please remember they can all read your mind if you don’t block them.”

 

“I would love to go Kiddo! I hear Betazoid weddings are interesting.”  Seri glared at him; he immediately shut up.  Death was not in his plans for that morning.

 

“Len, honey it really is okay if you don’t want to go.”

 

“No, I have to get over this fear at some point; but I don’t know how long I have Jo.” 

 

“If Joce is alright with her going off world, I would love her to come.  My dad would enjoy her.  She couldn’t come to the wedding, but there will be plenty of children at the house.”

 

“Are they kind to children who can’t read minds? I don’t want her feelings hurt.”

 

“They really are. Most can’t read minds until they hit adolescence.”

 

“I’ll talk to Joce.  I still have to tell her about the engagement. Don’t worry I know she’ll be happy.  I was happy for her when she got engaged.”

 

Jocelyn pulled up with Joanna, who jumped out of the craft and completely ignored both of her parents. “Uncle Jim! Aunt Seri! Mommy said I could call you that if it was okay with you.  Today’s my birthday! I’m eight now! So, I’m almost all grown up!” The birthday girl flung herself into her uncle’s arms almost before he realized what was happening. Seri came over to them just as Jo flung herself from Jim to her aunt. “Aunt Seri, can we go riding today?”

 

“I think it can be arranged.” Jo was so excited she ran toward the stables as soon as Seri put her down. “Jim, can you go with her? Len is telling Joce about the engagement.” He smiled as he ran after the little tornado. Seri looked at Len and headed into the house.

 

“Hey Joce, I guess we don’t count.  Can I talk to you for a moment?” They both headed to the porch.  Len offered her a seat as he contemplated how to tell her about the engagement. He was happy when she told him about her engagement, but he didn’t claim to understand women.  He knew she might not be happy.

 

“What is it Donkey? Did things not go well at Emory? Did they give you a hard time about David?” There was a look of shock in his eyes. “Did you think I didn’t know? It took me until we imploded, and you left; but I did figure it out.”

 

“You don’t hate me?”

 

“Why would I hate you? As hard as it was you did the right thing.”

 

“Thanks, Joce. That means a lot to me. Things went great. I do have something important I need to discuss with you. I hope you will be okay with it.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“I asked Seri to marry me, and she said yes.” Jocelyn said nothing; she just stared at him.  Maybe he had miscalculated; maybe she didn’t want another woman around her daughter.

 

Softly she rose and kissed him on the top of the head. “Congratulations Len.  I meant what I said before; you deserve this.  I hope she knows what she is getting into.  Maybe I should talk to her.”

 

“No! I think she is aware of the fact that I’m an asshole.”

 

She smiled down at him. “Only sometimes.  I wish you all the love and happiness there is.” He stood and hugged her tight. “I’m still going to talk to her.”

 

There was no way in hell he was going to win this one. “She’s inside.” Joce left to join Seri in the house.

 

Jim was being educated in proper horse care when Len arrived at the stables. “Hi Turtle. Do you think Uncle Jim is going to be good with the horses, or does he need more lessons?”

 

“Daddy, Uncle Jim needs more lessons. But I can teach him. He’s pretty smart.” Joanna sighed as if to say it might take a while.

 

“Okay Munchkin, let’s start tacking up.  Do you mind if I take Maggie?”

 

“But Uncle Jim, she’s tough.  She could hurt you.”

 

“I can handle her.  Trust me baby.”

 

“Daddy, is Aunt Seri coming?”

 

“Yes, she is.  She just needed to talk to your mom first.  Turtle can you come with me for a minute? I need to ask you something.” Jo grabbed her dad’s hand and drug him out of the stables.  When they got to her favorite tree Len sat on the ground next to her. “Turtle, do you like Aunt Seri?”

 

“I love her daddy. You didn’t make her angry, did you?”

 

Len had to admit, Joce was right. Jo was just like him; always expected the worst. “No Turtle, not yet.  I asked her something, and I need to know if it is okay with you.”

 

“Daddy, you didn’t ask her if she wanted to ride Ollie?  I’m not okay with that.” She moved to sit on his lap and lean on his chest.

 

“No, I asked her to marry me.”

 

Jo cuddled closer as she played with her fingers. “Did she say yes?”

 

“Yes baby, she did.”

 

Jo let out a breath she had held since he told her the question. “Good, I didn’t want her to say no and leave.  Does this mean she will be my stepmom?  Ashton has a stepmom, but she hates her.  She’ll be jealous because I have Seri.”

 

“You shouldn’t want to make her jealous.”

 

“She makes fun of me; tells me my daddy moved away because I’m ugly and he doesn’t want to be near me.” Jo’s voice became small as Len’s heart broke for her.

 

“Is that what you think baby?”

 

Determination shown in her eyes as she looked at her father. “No. I think she is jealous because I have a handsome daddy who saves people’s lives and loves me.  I also get better grades than her, and the boy she likes only talks to me.  He makes me laugh and tells me I’m pretty. I did get in trouble because of her.”

 

Len was almost afraid to ask what happened. “How?”

 

“She said you were stupid, and ugly.  So, I punched her in the nose, and made it bleed.”

 

“Now Jo, you know you shouldn’t hit someone unless they hit you first, and you are protecting yourself.”

 

“I know daddy, but I was so mad.”

 

“I understand baby. But, only hit to protect yourself or someone else.” She had to be corrected, but secretly he was proud of his little girl.  No one would ever walk all over her. “Baby, you can tell her your daddy has the highest grades of any doctor at the Academy.” Her smiled could have lit up the night. As a dad he shouldn’t encourage her, but he reasoned it was better than her punching the kid again.

 

“Do you really?”

 

“Yep! Uncle Jim is first in our class, I’m second, and Aunt Seri is third.”

 

“Wow!”

 

“Let’s go help Uncle Jim tack the horses.” She skipped her way to the stables.

 

Joce found Seri in the library reading over her PADD. “Congratulations!” She walked over to Seri and offered her a hug.

 

“Are you really alright with this? I know things can be awkward.” They walked out to the porch and sat on the large swing.

 

“I really am.  I love Len, I always will, but I’m not in love with him anymore.  He needs someone who can keep up with him. That’s not me.”

 

Seri could feel the other woman’s sense of inferiority. “Neither can I, most of the time.”

 

“I doubt that. But, thank you.”

 

“I need to talk to you about something. Something I know Len didn’t think about. After all he is a man so…”  Joce smiled. She understood what Len saw in this woman. She was strikingly beautiful, but that was never the most important thing to her ex. No, this woman was also very intelligent, and gracious. Joce was also sure Seri could make him laugh, something she couldn’t do that often.

 

 “Joce, I never want to take Jo from you.  You are her mother, not me.  I will never go against what you and Len think is best for her.  But, if it is alright, when she isn’t around, I may want to discuss things to do with her upbringing. Though, ultimately your and Len’s decision will always stand.  As a Betazoid she will never be able to play me against you. I’ll always know when she is lying.”

 

“Thank you for that. We will all have to be a united front. The teenage years are coming. God help us all. But Seri, I would like to include you in our decisions if it is okay?”

 

Seri was thrilled. “You know Len is afraid we will become friends.”

 

“I think he should be afraid; very afraid.”  Their laughter rang out across the peach orchard. Len was in deep trouble.

 

“Joce, in case he forgets to ask, I’m heading home in about a week for a wedding.  Would it be okay if Jo came with us? I know it is far, so please feel free to say no. Len can stay here with her, which is fine.”

 

“Would she be going to the wedding? I’ve read about them.”

 

“No, children don’t go. Don’t tell Len about the customs. I want to enjoy the show if he goes.”

 

Joce laughed at the thought. “She can go.  I’ll drop off some of her stuff for the trip tonight. You have to let me know how Len does!”

 

“Thanks, I will.  My dad will love her, and there are a lot of children around her age.”

 

“I want her to have as many little girl adventures as possible.  I’ll see you tonight.  In case I forget to tell you tonight, good luck with my sisters-in-law. I can’t wait till I see you with them; especially Ginny. You may be a rude awakening for her.” With that, Joce left, and Seri headed to the stables.


	21. chapter 21

 

The ship rocked violently, red lights replaced white. Jim was sent flying onto the floor. There was the sound of what must have been a second phaser hit as he scrambled up and to the bridge.  “Captain on the bridge.”

 

He took his seat and looked over the scans on the main viewer. “Mr. Spock report.”

 

“A ship from Mylus came out of warp.  They have fired on us repeatedly, but have been unable to damage our shields.”

 

“Hasn’t stopped them from trying. You said the ship is from Mylus?”

 

“Yes Captain.  The configuration of the vessel confirms a Mylan warship, Niclus class.”

 

“Thank you, Commander. Dr. McCoy, Dr. Targan, report to the bridge.” Sulu came onto the bridge, and positioned himself behind Kirk. “Mr. Sulu, report to your station.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Mr. Kiley to the bridge.” Jim wanted his most senior officers with him. Not that the Mylans were a concern. Their technology was no match for the Enterprise.  He needed them to keep him steady; keep him from pure vengeance. “Commander Scott, report to Engineering. Put them on the screen.  Lieutenant Uhura, open a channel.”

 

The ship jolted waking both Seri and Leonard.  The second jolt told them they hadn’t been dreaming. “Dr. McCoy, Dr. Targan, report to the bridge.”  Quickly they put on their uniforms and hurried to the bridge. As they entered through the turbolift, she could feel the panic as it rose in Len.

 

There was a Mylan on the screen speaking to the Captain.  His orange eyes looked as if they were on fire.  The Mylan’s ager was rising in direct proportion to the doctor’s panic; Seri felt both of them easily. _“Len, is that him? Is that Dardrok?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Remember, you are safe.  We’ve got this. Jim, that is Dardrok. Has he given his name yet?”_

Jim hadn’t shifted his gaze from the screen. _“No, he hasn’t. Can you read his thoughts?”_

_“Easily, care to have some fun?”_ Jim maintained his Captain’s mask, but internally he was smirking. _“Jim, his daughter’s name is Kainill. She is school age, and his world. That is his weakness.”_

_“Thanks Kiddo. Just watch.  Time to dance. You stay with Bones. This will be fun.”_

_“Please Jim, don’t do anything stupid.  Don’t lose yourself to him.  Please Jim, promise me.”_

_“I won’t, I promise.  Stay with me as well as with Bones.  I need you.”_

_“I’m here. He thinks his ship can take the Enterprise in a fight.”_

_“Can you read his thoughts if you are also in my and Bone’s heads?”_

_“Are you kidding? His mind is simplistic.  But don’t underestimate him.”_

_“Not a mistake I will make.”_

Luckily for Jim, thoughts were exchanged quickly. Dardrok had not noticed the exchange between the Captain and the Counselor. Leonard and Seri both stood several feet behind the Captain’s chair.  Neither showed any emotion.

 

_“Seri, please stay with me.  I’m not ready for this.”_

_“I’m not going anywhere Imzadi.  Trust Jim; believe me he has this under control.”_

_“I don’t want him to destroy himself. If he does something foolish…”_

_“He won’t.  I’ve got him. But, I can’t stop him from playing.”_

_“Did you give him any ammunition.”_

_“Yes, but he also read my report.”_

_“Fuck.”_

_“Trust him.”_

_“I’m trying.”_

“Captain Kirk, how nice to meet you. We did not meet at the reception; but I have had the pleasure of getting to know your doctor.  It is nice to see you again Dr. McCoy.  You seem well.”

 

Jim didn’t break his stare. “May I ask why I have the pleasure?”

 

“You come to my planet and murder over a hundred of our citizens.  Some were young children.  Why would you think we would allow you to commit such an atrocity and leave without any ramification? No Captain, retribution must come.”

 

It was an old tactic; so old it was almost childish. _“Jim, he isn’t the captain of that ship.  They want you to believe he is, but he is only the negotiator.”_

_“Thanks Kiddo.”_

 

McCoy showed no emotion, but internally he desperately fought the urge to flee. _“Imzadi, stay with me.”_

_“I’m here Len.  I won’t leave.”_ She took a step closer to Len, but never took her eyes from the viewer.  To everyone around, it appeared as if she was changing her position behind the Captain. Spock moved into her old spot.  He had understood what she was doing.

 

“Lieutenant, silence transmission.” Jim turned his back to the view screen.  “Mr. Sulu, target their shields only. Let them think they have disabled ours. Do not fire until I give the signal. Scotty, lock onto the Mylan transmitting. When the shields fall, I want him in front of me.”

 

He turned back to the viewer. “Re-establish audio. Captain, we shall discuss our options.”

 

“The return of our prisoners, and the party that murdered our civilians would be a start.”

 

Len started to panic. _“Len, you are safe.”_

_“Wouldn’t it make sense to turn me over to them?”_

_“You aren’t thinking straight.  No one killed any civilians, Dardrok isn’t a captain, and most importantly our Captain would never turn over one of his crew to be tortured and killed. This is a cat and_ mouse _game. They are laboring under the delusion that we are the mouse.”_ He began to calm.  Seri desperately wanted to take his hand; to give him the comfort of the warmth and pressure.

 

“Captain, I believe you know that isn’t going to happen. But, we are willing to discuss your surrender.”

 

“Captain Kirk, why ever would we do that? Our weapons are trained on your ship.  You have no shields.  In short, you are at our mercy. Please send us the doctor, and we may be willing to negotiate regarding the others.”

 

“Mr. Sulu, Mr. Scott, I believe the Captain and I can come to an understanding.  Please accommodate the Captain.” With that, Len’s fear escalated to the point Seri needed to step close enough for him to feel her. Sulu unleashed the phasers, targeting only the shields. When the shields fell, Scotty locked onto Dardrok and transported him directly to the bridge.

 

Jim stood only a few inches from the Mylan. “Good work gentlemen.  Now Dardrok, time to dance.” Fear and shock were all that registered in the Mylan’s eyes. Spock took his place directly behind the negotiator. “Mr. Sulu, lock photon torpedoes. Do not fire without my order.”

 

“Yes Captain.”

 

“Mr. Spock, escort our guest to the brig.”

 

“Yes Captain. Sir, if you would follow me.” Spock grabbed a phaser as he escorted Dardrok to his new accommodations.

 

The Mylan captain was trying to communicate with the Enterprise, but Kirk ignored the hails. “Doctors please join me in my ready room. Lieutenant get that thing off my viewer.” 

 

Len barely made it into the ready room before Jim had an arm around him and guided him to the couch. “Commander, you are to stay in this room.  Under no circumstances are you to go to the brig.  That is an order. Do you understand?”  There was no reaction. “Doctor, do you understand?”

 

“Yes Captain.”

 

Jim turned to his counselor. “Commander, you are with me.  I need your expertise in interrogation.”

 

“Jim?” The doctor looked concerned.

 

“Bones, it will be alright. This is what I do.”

 

“Jim…”

 

The Captain knelt in front of the CMO. The abject fear in Len’s eyes shook Jim. “Len, trust me. No one, absolutely no one, is going to touch you. I’m sending Uhura in to stay with you.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

“Maybe not, but humor me. Lieutenant Uhura report to the Captain’s ready room.” It took Nyota less than a minute to enter the room.

 

Seri leaned over and gave Len a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back as soon as possible. You’re safe.  I love you.”

 

“Seri, I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Not being strong enough. I should be able to go with you.”

 

She sat next to him and entered his head. _“You are strong.  Honestly you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. Anyone who had been through what you had been through, could not face their abuser this soon.  Eventually you will be able to, but not yet.”_

_“Will you be able to do this? You and Jim aren’t exactly detached. I remember enough about my psych rotation to know that this will go better if the interrogators are detached.”_

_“I can do this, so can Jim.  No, we aren’t detached, but Dardrok doesn’t know that. And you know Jim and I are both good at poker.”_

_“He could hurt you.”_

_“No, he can’t. I have security personnel, Jim and a forcefield between me and him.”_

_“I love you Imzadi.”_

_“I love you too. I’ll be back soon.”_

Nyota sat down next to Len.  What she saw concerned her. He was pale, almost grey. His hand was clammy in hers. “Len talk to me. Let me be here for you.  Let me help you.”

 

There was no acknowledgement. What could he tell her? That his fear was slowly changing to blinding anger. He shouldn’t want what he wants. He was a doctor, not a killer; except he was a killer.  “What do you want me to talk about? Should I tell you about what the monster in the brig did to Pavel? How about what he did to me? Or would you prefer to hear about what I want to do to him?”

 

The anger wasn’t directed at her; Nyota knew that. “You can tell me any, or all of that.”

 

“Can I? Only three people know.  You’ll never look at me the same way again. I don’t want to lose you.”

 

“I’m not naïve. I saw his body.” How much had she figured out? “I took his cross. It’s clean now.  I’ll make sure his mother gets it. Don’t worry I won’t tell her.”

 

“You really are one of the smartest people I have ever known.”  He told her everything that happened to them. Funny how it made him feel better to share it with someone.  Seri’s dream manipulation had worked.  It had lessened his fear and allowed him to get through the entire story.

 

At the end Nyota was completely silent. Maybe it had been to much for her.  There was a damp soft pressure on his cheek; a kiss mixed with her tears. Her head rested on his shoulder as he draped his arm over her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you Nyota. I love you too.” Their eyes closed.  His mind traveled back again. The mental trips to that summer had been saving him.

 


	22. Chapter 22

 

All of the horses were tacked by the time Seri reached the stables.  “Aunt Seri!  Daddy told me you are going to be my stepmom.  Can I still call you Aunt Seri? I can’t call you mommy; that would be confusing.” Evidently Len had talked to Jo.

 

“Of course, you can. Thanks for tacking Cince.”

 

Jim came over. “We didn’t know if you rode English or Western. We took a guess and tacked English. Is that okay kiddo?” The kiss on the cheek told him they had made the right choice.

 

Len, Seri, and Jo mounted first. Jim took longer with Maggie; she needed to feel secure with him. Len was right, Maggie was green; this was going to be a fun ride. Len led the way to the side lawn toward the driveway. “Last one to the road is the loser.”  

 

Jo took off at a full gallop, with the rest following at a moderate canter. She reached the road first; but, instead of being thrilled, she was angry. “You let me win. I don’t like that. It’s no fun.”

 

“Okay Turtle, let’s race back to the house.” They were off again. Len won with the rest joining him quickly.  Jo was squealing. “Should we take Aunt Seri and Uncle Jim to the old grave yard?”

 

“Let’s go Daddy!”

 

“No faster than a slow trot young lady.” The pout on her face was priceless, but she did as she was told.

 

“Jim, I can ride both English and Western.”

 

“I didn’t know that Kiddo. Which do you prefer?”

 

“Depends.”

 

“On what?”

 

 

“My mood.  I like the feel of control with the English saddle, but some days I want to sit and not post.  Also, I do like neck reigning.”

 

Len pulled up next to Jim. “So, we found something we all like, besides sex and alcohol.” Laughter sounded across the field as they caught up to Jo.

 

The family cemetery was surrounded by a very old, ornate, wrought iron, fence.  There was no gate, but there were two hitching posts. Jo got there first, jumped off of Ollie, removed her helmet, and tethered him to the post on the left. “Aunt Seri, you can put Cince with Blackjack. Maggie hates Cince.”  They all dismounted and followed Jo’s direction.

 

The gravestones told the story of the McCoy and Johnson families. The Johnson gravestones started in the late eighteenth century, and ended in the mid nineteenth century. Jo skipped around the stones as she picked cornflowers and buttercups.

 

“Here is my great-grandfather. He was still alive when I was little, but I don’t remember him. My great-grandmother died when I was six, so I remember her a little. This is my great-uncle. He died in a barn fire way before I was born. My dad was born a few months after that happened. These are my dad’s parents. They were amazing. My granddaddy taught me to hunt.  He used the hunting lessons to teach me about life and respect. He is the reason I became a surgeon.”

 

  
Seri walked closer to the stone.  It had a caduceus in between the names. “You were named after him. Was he a surgeon?”

 

“No baby. He was the old country doctor I always say I am; the one I want to be someday. He believed in house calls and knowing all of his patients.  He taught me at least three stitches.  His purse string was perfection.  Because of him I can set a bone without a bone knitter.”

 

“Bones, I always thought you became a doctor because of your dad.”

 

“Naw, because of my granddad. My grandma had a lot to do with it as well, but it was mostly because of him.”

 

Jim noticed the change in Len’s face. He missed his grandparents; maybe more this week than at any other time. “Was she also a doctor?”

 

“She was a neuro surgeon.” He chuckled at the memories of her. “She was also deadly accurate when she threw a shoe at you. I was lucky. I was there to hold their hands when they died.” According to the stone they died only nine months apart.

 

Seri began to wander through the stones. “Peaches, don’t go over there.” She didn’t hear him over the wind in the trees. _“Peaches stop! Please don’t go there. Come back here.”_

 

As she turned, the source of his panic was in front of her. The stone said David McCoy. _“Len, please come here.”_

“No, Peaches let’s just go. The furniture should be here soon.”

 

“Len, Mama is there by now, and Sarah is there if she isn’t. Please just come here.”

 

Jim started to walk Len over to where Seri stood. Slowly, they arrived at his father’s grave. “There is no reason to do this. I’m fine.”

 

“No Imzadi, you aren’t. Tell me what you are feeling.”

 

“I don’t know.  I shouldn’t miss him, but I do. Why would I miss him? He was a selfish ass. But, I miss him.”

 

Jim stood directly behind his best friend. “Because he was still your father.  For better or worse we only get one, and you miss that. I doubt you ever cried for him.”

 

“I haven’t.  I don’t want to give that to him.”

 

Seri left the men, and joined Jo who had moved onto dandelions. Ghosts of dead parents was definitely one of Jim’s areas of expertise. He didn’t need her help. “Jo, why don’t we ride back to the stables? Cince and Ollie will need a cool down before we put them back in their stalls.”

 

The flowers were quickly dropped, except for one cornflower.  Jo turned to get her father’s permission, but Seri had taken her hand to lead her to the horses. “Aunt Seri, is daddy crying?”

 

The tears had started soon after Seri walked away.  Both men were now seated in front of the stone; with Jim’s arm held tight around Len’s shoulders. “Yes baby.”

 

“Did Uncle Jim make him cry?” A look of concern had come across her little face.

 

“No, Uncle Jim would never do that. Sometimes grownups don’t like to remember things, or they don’t remember them correctly.  That is when a real friend will help.” The horses were untethered, but not mounted. Seri grabbed Jo’s helmet. It made more sense to walk back if they were going to talk. Jo wasn’t old enough to pay attention to Ollie and talk about something as difficult to understand as grownups.

 

“Shouldn’t we stay. We love Daddy. Won’t he wonder why we left if we love him?”

 

“No, he knows we love him.  Daddies don’t want their babies to see them cry. Maybe when you’re older.”

 

“I am older! I’m not a baby!”

 

“You aren’t a baby, but you aren’t a grown up yet either; and, you are his baby. Trust me, this is what he wants.  Uncle Jim will take good care of him.”

 

“Okay, but he is getting a big hug as soon as I see him!”

 

“He will need it.”

 

“I think grownups are silly.”

 

“We can be.  Let’s put these two in the pasture as soon as we get the tack put away.  They can go into the stables later. Do you want to help me decide where to put the new sofa?”

 

“YES!!!!!”

 

The warm summer breeze continued to blow through the trees behind the graveyard as Jim held the doctor. Before his father was buried Len would come to this place at least once a week.  No matter what was going on in his life, the cemetery gave him peace.  There was also a small chapel in the woods. He would sit in the pews and pray for understanding and peace. Len wasn’t a religious man; he was too jaded for that, but the chapel was different. It was where his grandfather would take him after a particularly bad day for either of them. It was where Jo was christened; where he wanted to be married. He vowed he would have it restored over the next few years.

 

“Jim why? Why do I feel like I am losing my mind? I don’t cry, I don’t; but, these past few days I can’t seem to stop. Shit! Where is Jo? She can’t see me like this. She won’t understand.” He tried to wipe the tears from his eyes.

 

“Seri has her.  They left a few minutes ago. Jo is fine. Why don’t you cry?”

 

“I don’t know, but I never have.”

 

“Even when you were little?”

 

“I doubt it.  I don’t remember crying. Dad would have gotten angry.”

 

“Is that why?”

 

“No, I stopped caring if he was angry when I was a teenager.  I was never going to please him, so who cared what he thought?”

 

“You, you did. You still do.”

 

Silent sobs wracked his body as the realization that he still was fighting for his father’s approval overwhelmed him. “No! It doesn’t matter! He doesn’t matter.”

 

“Doesn’t he? If he didn’t you would feel nothing.  Instead, his ghost seeps into all aspects of your life.  It is the only thing that could ever hold you back. You want to know something about garnering you father’s approval?”

 

“What?”

 

“It is never going to happen.”

 

“I know that.”

 

“Do you? Because right now, I don’t believe you do.”

 

“The sobs began to subside. “Jim, I know it won’t come.”

 

“But?”

 

“What do you mean but?”

 

“Bones, you say you don’t cry, but you are kneeling on your father’s grave sobbing.  Why do you think that is?  If you aren’t crying for him, what are you crying for?  What do you want? What do you miss? Do you truly miss him?”

 

“No, maybe I just miss the familiar. Familiar disapproval and demeaning statements are better than their absence.”

 

“Still too easy, don’t you think?”

 

“Or you are right.  Just once I would have loved to hear that I did something right; something to make him proud.”

 

“Why do you think his approval is so important to you?” The silence was disturbed only by the breeze as it rustled the leaves of the old oak tree.

 

“Knowing what I know now, it isn’t.  Jim, I’ve tried to make him proud for twenty-eight years. It is hard to change how I think.”

 

“It will take a while, but one day you will know who Leonard McCoy is. You’ll see the amazing man others see.  You aren’t David McCoy. You don’t want to be.”

 

“I know I don’t.  I hope you are right.”  The sun came out from behind the clouds. Jim was right; he would never be the man his father wanted him to be. To become the man his father wanted him to be would mean moral, ethical, and intellectual compromise. David McCoy wanted mediocrity from his son. “Jim,”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I don’t want to live down to every one of his expectation. Please don’t allow me to do that.”

 

“I’ll kick your ass if you start down that path.” The tension breaker was necessary and welcomed.

 

“Thanks Jim, for everything.”

 

“Maggie is getting restless. Race you back to the stables.”

 

The furniture had arrived. Seri and Jo showed the delivery men where everything went. Jo set up Jim’s sitting room.  Even if it wasn’t exactly the way he envisioned it, Seri doubted anything would be changed. Jim loved his niece. It hadn’t taken long for him to form a strong bond with the little munchkin. Joanna was so much like her father how could Jim not love her.

 

“Munchkin, want to help me move your dad’s couch?” The little ball of energy skipped out of Jim’s room to Len and Seri’s sitting room. Before they started, Seri looked out the door that led to their veranda. Len and Jim walked back to the house. Jim had his arm draped over Len’s shoulder.  Both men looked worn out.

 

“Aunt Seri come here!” Jo was trying to push the couch to a spot in front of the fireplace.

 

“Munchkin, I think it weighs more than you do.  I’ll push; you tell me where to put it.”

 

Jo ran to a place a few feet in front of the fireplace. “Here Aunt Seri, here! That way we can all sit here and watch the fire.” The couch was heavy, but it made it to the spot in front of the fireplace. Len didn’t know it, but Seri had paid for all the custom artisan pieces. The pieces wouldn’t be done until they were back from Betazed, but there would be a few surprises in the delivery for both men.

 

The back door closed with a bang. Both men needed time to decompress before Jo could see them. “Baby, why don’t we change Uncle Jim’s bed? I bet he has never slept on flannel sheets.”

 

“Where are they?”

 

“On the bed in the blue room. I saw them when we went past the room.”

 

_“Imzadi, can you come here? I need to see you.”_

_“Have Jim come up and ask to help Jo. That will give us some time.”_

_“On my way up, Kiddo.”_

_“She is in the blue room if you want to surprise her.”_

Not long after, Jo’s laughter could be heard all over the house.  Jim entered his bedroom with Jo slung over his shoulder; his other arm carried the sheets. “Seri, look what I found.  I’m keeping it. Bet it can make a bed.”

 

“Uncle Jim, put me down!”

 

“Okay you two. I’m heading downstairs. Don’t make Mama come up.”

 

Len was nowhere to be found. _“Where are you?”_

_“Basement.”_

Seri found Mama in the sunroom before she went down to the basement. “Mama, I’m meeting Len in the basement, but later I want to take Jo to town without him.  If the men want to come with us, can you find something for them to do?”

 

“On a farm? No problem.”

 

“What is the name of the jeweler Len used?”

 

“Hancock’s, why?”

 

“I just want to surprise him.”

 

The basement was barely lit. The only light came from the room with the family memorabilia. Seri entered the room.  Pictures and holos were strewn over half the couch as Len held a picture in one hand, and a drink in the other. “What do you have there?”

 

“A glass of sweet tea.”

 

“I meant in the other hand, smartass.” A spot had been left for her to join him on the couch.

 

“My grandparents on my dad’s side.”

 

“They look sweet.” The man had red hair and green eyes; the woman, dark hair and hazel eyes. Both were smiling at the baby in the woman’s arms.

 

“They were. This was taken the day I came home from the hospital. My father wasn’t there for my birth, but my grandparents were. I’m was the first of ten grandchildren. Wait until you meet my cousins. That will be fun.”

 

He reached across the couch and grabbed a handful of pictures. “This is me with my first rifle. It had been my grandfather’s when he was young. He gave it to me for my tenth birthday, but I was only allowed to handle it when he was with me. Grandpa kept the ammo with him. We would go down to the woods in the fall to cull the herd.  Those were the best days. He taught me how to be a gentleman. He listened to me; nothing I talked about was ever too trivial for him. He convinced me I could do anything I wanted to do, or be anyone I wanted to be.  I wanted to be him, but he told me that I should be me; the world couldn’t survive two of him. He lived to see me graduate from Hopkins, but died a few months later.”

 

“He must have been so proud.”

 

“He was, but Hopkins was icing on the cake for him.  Seri, he was proud of the man I had become. He got to hold Jo.” Len handed Seri the picture of his grandparents holding Jo. They were seated in the sunroom. “That was the day she came home. I need to tell you something only Mama and Joce know. This house and farm, my grandparents didn’t leave it to my dad.”

 

“They left it to your mom?”

 

“No, they left it to me.  Joce knows because of the divorce, but she didn’t want it.  I took care of her financially. Dad was livid when the will was read. He said I tricked grandma into giving it to me.  Seri, no one ever made my grandmother do anything she didn’t want to do. I see this as my mother’s house; but it isn’t. It’s mine.”

 

“Why were you worried your mother wouldn’t welcome you back to your home? Nevermind, I get it. Without her love it wouldn’t be home, and you wouldn’t be back. Len, this place is a part of you. Your grandparents knew that. They also knew you would respect all the family built. Your dad would probably have sold it.”

 

“He would have. He loved money; if he loved anything.” Pictures were passed back and forth.  Very few had his father in them.  Eventually they put the pictures back and headed upstairs.

 

It was almost lunch time; Callie and Ginny would be there soon.  Jim had gone to the kitchen. “Bones, are your sisters coming together?”

 

“I doubt they could be alone together that long.  One would end up dead.” Though it had been treated as a joke, Jim assumed there was some truth to what Len had said. “Ginny is just like our father. She can’t stand me.”

 

“Then why is she coming?”

 

“To tell me what a failure I am. To make sure I remember I am at the Academy because I ran from my responsibilities.”

 

Jo was lying on Jim’s couch reading when Seri found her. They went down to the kitchen; Jo hugged Len as soon as she saw him. “Daddy, Aunt Seri and I are going to town on a secret mission.”

 

“Okay Turtle. Just be back by dinner, or the presents may have to go back.”

 

“Daddy stop teasing!”

 

“Len, we won’t be too long.  We’ll grab lunch there.” Both men got kisses as the ladies headed to town.

 

“Can you tell me anything about Ginny?”

 

“Why?”

 

“No reason.”

 

Len knew better. “You aren’t allowed to play with her.”

 

“Sometimes you take all the fun out of things.”

 

With that they heard a car pull up to the front of the house. “That will be Callie.  She has a ’66 corvette. I’m sorry. I should have told her not to bring it.”

 

Jim’s expression softened. “It’s okay.  I need to work past this. Besides, Callie isn’t Frank.”

 

“She definitely isn’t. She is a therapist with long, wavy, dark brown hair, and bright green eyes. Definitely not Frank. Jim, don’t forget she is my favorite baby sister.” Jim just smiled.  He would never go after one of Len’s sisters.

 

They walked to the porch as Callie climbed the steps. “Hey idiot.”

 

“Good to see you too.” Len grabbed her and spun her around as she threw her arms around his neck.

 

Jim quietly went to the car and grabbed her bags. “Are you going to introduce me to your friend?” 

 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You could corrupt him.”

 

“Only if he’s lucky.” Jim’s eyebrows shot up. “Just a joke blue eyes. I’m the good sister.”

 

“Not that good. Callie this is my best friend Jim Kirk. So be good.”

 

“I’ll try. Hi Jim, I’m Callie, the baby sister. Or, as Len likes to call me, the pain in the ass little sister from hell.” Jim smiled as they shook hands.  “So, where is my favorite niece?”

 

“She went to town with Seri.”

 

“Jim, want to tell me about my brother’s girlfriend?”

 

“Hell no! Keep me out of this. What room do you want your things in?”

 

“The one with the sleigh bed and the veranda.”

 

“Sorry sis, Jim has that suite permanently. “

 

She glared at Jim; then started to laugh. “It’s alright. I’ll take dad’s old room. It’s the suite over the kitchen.  Ginny will be pissed. That’s an extra bonus! She’ll be late as usual so she can make her grand entrance.”

 

Callie grabbed her small bag, and followed Jim up the stairs and into the suite. “Jim, can I talk to you?”

 

Jim was all but herded into the sitting room. “Sure, what’s up?”

 

“Is Len okay? Joce called me; she was worried. She said he had been crying.”

 

The question blindsided Jim. “He’s getting there.”

 

“Dad really fucked him over his entire life.”

 

“Callie, how much do you know?”

 

“Most, if not everything.”

 

“I don’t feel comfortable saying anything. I’m sure your brother will tell you if you ask.”

 

“You really are a good friend. I see why he chose you. He won’t tell me. He forgets I’m twenty-two, not twelve.”

 

“Sit him down. Tell him all you know. He’ll talk; just give him a chance.”

 

“Is Seri a good person?”

 

“She is one of the few truly good people I have met. Callie?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Is the inquisition over?”

 

“For now.” The smile on her voice told him it wasn’t over, not by a long shot. “Wait till you meet Ginny. I’m all sweetness and light compared to her. Please, call me Cal. I have a feeling we are going to be in each other’s lives for a very long time.” Jim was left sitting in the large armchair as Cal left to join her big brother.

 

“Len!” No answer. Where could he have gone? “Len?” Finally, she found him under their favorite pecan tree.

 

“Figured you find me here. Are you done grilling Jim?”

 

“For now.” She sat next to him. “He wouldn’t tell me anything.”

 

“Pretty eyes, and a nice body don’t work on him.”

 

“I find that hard to believe. Maybe they don’t work when you are the subject.”

 

“Seri and me, probably.”

 

“So, my big brother is in love. Good for you.”

 

“You’ll like her. She’s a lot like you.”

 

“Lord Jesus help us.” Their laughter rang out across the grove. “Jim told me I should tell you everything I know. That maybe then you would see me as an adult.”

 

“Do I treat you like a kid?”

 

“Sometimes.”

 

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to do that. You can ask me anything.”

 

“Was all of this, you know Emory, because you helped Dad die?”

 

“Yes. It was because I killed him.”

 

“Stop doing that. You did the right thing.  Mama didn’t call, so I assumed everything went well.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Len, all joking aside, you are the best man I have ever known.”

 

Tears fell down his cheeks. “Fuck! I need this to stop.”

 

“What?”

 

“Crying.”

 

“It will. Once you confront the demons that are holding you back, you’ll stop.”

 

“Now you sound like Mama and Seri.”

 

“So, tell me about her. I want to know what kind of woman decided to take on my favorite brother.”

 

“She is brilliant, strong, kind, loving, funny, beautiful; you know, the usual.” There was a devilish glint in his eyes. “She is also Betazoid; but, she won’t read your thoughts unless you tell her she can.”

 

“She can control her telepathy to that extent? I didn’t think that was possible. That’s interesting.”

 

“She is a surgeon who is training to be a counselor.  She should have her PHD and PSYD within the next four years.  Academy training takes longer with all of the extra courses about federation procedures, and protocols.”

 

“She’s doing two doctorates at the same time? Damn! So, she can take you on. Good! But, if she hurts you on purpose, she’ll have to deal with me.” Callie was joking.

 

“Cal, for the first time in my life I’m in love. She loves me as much as I love her. This is all new to me, and it scares me.”

 

“It only scares you because you still believe Dad.” Slowly he turned to meet her gaze. “See, I’m not the baby sister you thought I was. Len, you need to understand Dad was a jackass. Probably why grandma left you everything.”

 

“What the fuck do you know about that?”

 

“Oh, everything.  You all forgot I was around, especially Dad. The day he was screaming at Mama about it I was in the library. Boy, that was a fight. It was also the day she kicked him out of the bedroom. Something about him moving down the hall, or in with his fuck toy; she didn’t care which.”

 

“Is there anything you don’t know?”

 

“Nope! I am the proverbial fly on the wall. May I ask you something? Please feel free to tell me no if you want. “

 

Suddenly he became very nervous. What could she possibly want? He was just starting to see who his baby sister really was, and it was a little scary; good, but scary. “Okay?”

 

“I’m thinking of starting at the Academy this coming term.  I was accepted into the counseling psychologist program. I’m considering a PHD so I can do more research later.  Or maybe a PSYD this time and a PHD later. Anyway, I think it could be fun and challenging.”

 

“You should talk to Seri about it.”

 

“I will. I was wondering, if I accept and go in, can I move back here?  It would give me an anchor while I find my place in the universe. I could come home during break, not just visit my brother’s house. It’s okay if the answer is no.”

 

“Baby, this is your home.  It always will be. What room do you want?”

 

“Len, you know you are kinda the head of the family? Have you noticed that Mama calls you for all of the changes to the farm and the house, or when there are major repairs that need to be done? Do you think she is the type of woman who needs a man’s permission? Or, do you think she wants you to understand who you are?”

 

“I’m an idiot.”

 

“No, you’ve just been lost the past few years.”

 

“So, what room do you want? And, don’t say mine.”

 

“Jim’s!”

 

“Very funny.”

 

“I really want the one I’m in, but Ginny will be pissed.”

 

“They are yours.  I’ll deal with her. Do you think she knows about the house and the money?”

 

Callie giggle. “No, I heard her say she would get part of the property and money when Mama dies.  I really want to see the bitch’s face when she finds out Mama doesn’t own it.  Please let me be there when you tell her.

 

“Callie!  Tell me this isn’t because she made a bonfire with your dolls.”

 

“Maybe a little.”

 

“It will happen when it happens. But, if you aren’t there I promise to tell you what happens.”

 

“What is Jim like?  He loves you and Seri very much.”

 

“He is a good man: strong, intelligent, loyal, determined…”

 

“Scarred.”

 

“Is it that obvious?”

 

“Not to everyone. Do you think he could help move some furniture around? I’d like a different bed. Maybe the one from the blue room?”

 

Her Cheshire cat grin told her big brother why she wanted that particular bed. “Not that bed. Leave Ginny something. We put the two from the upstairs parlors into the white outbuilding.  We could swap one of them out for you.”

 

“Thanks! I do want the dresser from the blue room.  It is the perfect size.  She can have Dad’s old dresser.”

 

“Fine, let’s go in and get it done before she gets here.  Also, you should say hi to Mama.”

 

“How do you know I didn’t?”

 

“I know you.” He gave her a hand up. “I do love you sis.”

 

“I know.  I love you too Len.”

 

“Mama! I’m home!”

 

“No kidding. I’m in the sunroom.”

 

“Hi!” Mama got her kiss.

 

“I take it you’ve seen your big brother.”

 

Cal sat in the big chair. “Yeah. I worry about him.”

 

“He isn’t you.”

 

“No, but the world couldn’t handle two of me. Is he okay? Nevermind, I know the answer.”

 

“You two have always adored each other.  It started the day you were born. You know, he was the second person in the family to hold you? I think the only reason I got to hold you first was he wasn’t in the room when you were born. When he left for Ole’ Miss you wouldn’t stop crying. You two are so much alike. My babies.”

 

“Ginny is too much like Dad to love anyone but herself. I’m thinking of going to the Academy for the doctorate program.  What do you think?”

 

“I think I have been waiting for this. You will do great; and, you and Len can’t stay separated too long. Long separations don't seem to work well for either of you.”

 

“He said to talk to Seri about the program. Mom, what is she like?”

 

“She is a lot like you; just quieter.” Lena loved to tease her youngest. Of her three children, Cal was the most like her. “Seri is a good woman. She puts your brother’s needs before her own. Len needs that since he always puts others first.  I think she is his equal in every way.”

 

“He gave me Dad’s old rooms. Don’t tell Ginny. I want to. We are going to switch out some of the furniture.”

 

“I’m staying out of this. George is coming for Jo’s birthday dinner. Do you think the McCoy farm civil war could be over by then?”

 

“Depends on Ginny. Len and Jim are taking the bed apart. I should go help them.” Cal almost ran up the stairs.  Lena was smiling; poor Jimmy, he had no idea what the day would hold.

 

Seri pulled into town and parked in front of the barbeque joint. “Jo, should we eat first, or go shopping?”

 

“Eat!”

 

“Where do you want to go? It’s your birthday, so you get to choose.”

 

“Over there.” Jo pointed to the oriental restaurant.

 

“Alright, let’s go.” She grabbed the little girl’s hand and ran with her to the restaurant.  Jo was the happiest child Seri had ever met; a testament to her parents’ love and care of her. Lunch didn’t take long; though, there was a lot of giggling as Jo tried to learn to eat with chopsticks.

 

After lunch they walked to the jeweler; more precisely, Seri walked and Jo skipped. Hancock’s wasn’t far. When they entered Jo immediately ran behind the counter and threw her arms around Mrs. Hancock’s waist. “Well hello Jojo, how are you doing?”

 

“Great Mrs. Hancock. This is my aunt, Seri.”

 

Maria walked around the counter and extended her hand. The diamond on Seri’s left hand sparkled. “You must be the lady that has Lenny smiling.”

 

Seri turned bright red. “You must be Mrs. Hancock.  Mama said you could help me.”

 

“What are you looking for dear?”

 

“I want to get Len something very special that he can ware all the time.  I know he has that ring he always wares, so I don’t want a ring. A necklace might work.”

 

“I think he has worn his grandma’s wedding ring since the day she died. I think a necklace is a good idea.” Seri was taken to a few of the cases, but nothing in them seemed special enough. “You really love him, don’t you?”

 

“Is it that obvious?”

 

“Yes. I do have a few talisman necklaces that just came in from an old company in Canada. Let me get them.”

 

Mrs. Hancock brought out as a small display case with at lest twenty different necklaces in it.  Some were silver, some gold, and some bronze.  They didn’t look like anything Seri had ever seen. “Ma’am, what are these?”

 

“They are talismans made from eighteenth and early nineteenth century wax seals. Each one has a meaning.  If you see one you like, we can pull the legend.”

 

“Jo, what do you think about one of these for Daddy?”

 

Jo came over quickly. “Not that one. It’s scary.” She pointed to the one with a skull on it.

 

“Alright, how about the others?”

 

“I like them.”

 

“Good, thanks munchkin.” There was one with a caduceus on it; not personal enough. “How about that one?” Seri pointed to the one with a winged hour glass, and the Latin saying carpe diem. Given the last few days she thought the sentiment perfect for the next phase of his life. Maria handed it to her. “I think this one is perfect.”

 

“It is. I’ll get a longer chain.”

 

After it was boxed and paid for, Jo joined Seri. “Mrs. Hancock thank you.”

 

“Just remember you have an amazing man. He will always put your needs before his. That is how our Lenny is, so much like his mother.”

 

“I know Mrs. Hancock. I never take him for granted. It was really great to meet you.” Maria gave her a hug. “We’ll be back soon. I promise.”

 

Jo gave Maria a hug and drug her out of the store. “Aunt Seri, we have to get home. It’s my birthday and Aunt Callie’s coming.  Grandma got my favorite cake, so we can’t be late.”

 

It hadn’t taken Len, Jim, and Callie long to switch the dressers and bring the bed down to the outbuilding. “Okay sis, which bed do you want?”

 

“I don’t know. How about the rice bed?”

 

“Of course, that one; the one that will take the longest to put together.”

 

Jim had a pained look on his face. “And the heaviest.”

 

“Come on Jimmy, you can lift it.” Callie loved teasing them.

 

“Come on Bones, let’s show the itch what we can do.”

 

“You know that is how she gets her way. She goads us until we do what she wants.”

 

“I know. But, I don’t mind.”

 

“Thank you, Jimmy.” The kiss on his cheek as she headed to the house to open doors for them was payment enough. In no time the rice bed was set up with it’s original mattress.  Callie and Jim made the bed with her favorite sheets. “Guys, thank you.  I didn’t want to have dad’s stuff around me.”

 

Len understood, their father wasn’t cruel to her, but Callie saw what he did to her brother. He had been wrong, she didn’t worship their father. She simply learned how to stay out of his way. “Baby girl, do you want new living room furniture?”

 

“Not yet. Maybe later.”

 

No one knew it, but Lena had gone to the horse pasture.  She took Red for a ride. She didn’t want to be there when Ginny arrived. Len needed to find his footing. If she were there it would make that harder. Ginny had always been her father’s daughter: selfish, vain, immature. Today would most likely be a coming to Jesus for her.


	23. chapter 23

The hovercraft pulled up next to the ‘vette. Jo ran up the stairs to the porch screaming. “Aunt Callie! Aunt Callie!”

 

Callie ran down the stairs to her favorite niece. “Monkey!” Jo was scooped up quickly, and spun around. “How is the birthday girl.”

 

“Great! Aunt Seri taught me how to use chopsticks.”

 

Seri had made her way to the front door. Callie put Jo down and extended her hand. “Hi, I’m Callie.”

 

Seri took her hand. “Seri. I’m sorry, Len hasn’t told me much about you.”

 

“Good, don’t want to scare you away. We should get dinner started. I have no idea where Mama went, but Ginny will be here soon, and we don’t want her trying to cook.”

 

The men joined them in the kitchen.  Jo wanted her birthday dinner there, not in the dining room. Joce arrived with a big suitcase for Jo’s adventure to Betazed. She also brought her fiancé Evan Love to meet the family.  Len knew all about him and they had talked, they just needed to meet in person.

 

“Uncle Evan! Mommy didn’t tell me you would be here!”

 

“Jojo, did you think I would miss my best girl’s birthday?” He picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Hi, I’m Len. It is good to finally meet you.” They shook hands.

 

“It is good to meet you.” Evan was a good man.  He treated Jocelyn like a queen and Jojo like she was his own daughter.  The engineering firm he owned specialized in infrastructure challenges.  The company had been doing well setting up roadways for the new colonies on the federation’s outskirts.

 

“Evan, I would like to introduce you to my fiancé Seriana, and my best friend Jim Kirk. This is my sister Callie, watch out for her.”

 

Jo giggled as Joce came over. “Stop that!  Callie is the best and you know it.”

 

Jo got down from Evan’s arms. Her father stopped her before she could run away. “Turtle, go get cleaned up. You look like you’ve been licking a pig.”

 

“Daddy!” Giggles ensued as she ran up the back stairs to her room.

 

It wasn’t long before they heard Ginny as she pulled her hovercraft up to the front of the house. Callie looked up as Joce tensed. “Evan, that is my sister-in-law Ginny. I’ll apologize for her now.”

 

Not long after a woman breezed into the kitchen; dressed in the latest fashion, her hair, makeup, and nails immaculate. Len stepped between her and the rest of the party. “Virginia.”

 

“Leonard.” They exchanged the mandatory quick hug. “Caroline, Jocelyn, it is nice to see both of you.”

 

Joce nodded, but said nothing. Callie wasn’t as reserved. “Hello Ginny, it’s nice to see you. What has it been, almost five years? Nice to know you remember where the farm is. I guess you gracing us with your presence for the funeral was something.”

 

“You know I hate that name. My name is Virginia. I would ask that you call me by my proper name.”

 

“Yes, I know you hate it, but it is the nicest thing I could think to call you.” With that Callie left the room. Jim realized Len wasn’t joking. Those two in a vehicle for more than two minutes would definitely not be a good idea.

 

“Virginia, I would like you to meet a few people.  This is Dr. Seriana Targan, my fiancé.” Seri shook her hand.  “This is Dr. Evan Love, Jocelyn’s fiancé.” Virginia smiled at him as he shook her hand. “This is James Kirk, my best friend.” She beamed at him as she extended her hand. “Virginia don’t.”

 

“Don’t what?”

 

“Don’t play the innocent with me. It doesn’t suit you.” She glared at her brother. “You can meet your niece later.”

 

“I have met her Leonard.”

 

“Yes, but the last time you were here she was barely three.  She won’t remember you.  Where are your bags?”

 

“In the craft.”

 

“I’ll put them in the blue room for you.”

 

“No, I’ll take the suite in the front of the house. You can put my bags in there.”

 

“You’ll take what I give you. Those rooms are taken.  The blue room is the nicest guest room we have.”

 

“I am not a guest in my mother’s house.”

 

“No, after almost five years, you are a guest in mine.”

 

“Leonard, there is no reason for us to argue over this.” Len got her bags and brought them upstairs.  This left the rest of them in the kitchen wondering what the evening would hold. “So, you are engaged to Leonard. I don’t know what he has told you about me.”

 

Seri took a step toward Ginny. _“Kiddo, Bones told me not to play with her.”_

_“He didn’t tell me that”_

_“Seriana!”_

_“Fine, you are no fun.”_  “He hasn’t told me anything; only that he has a sister named Ginny.” She felt the woman cringe at the use of her nickname.

 

_“Seri, stop it.”_ Len was back.

 

_“You and Jim are no fun at all sometimes.”_ “It is nice to finally meet you.” Tonight could be fun. Ginny was exactly like exactly like Seri’s mother and sister. Maybe not exactly, Ginny was more intelligent than either of them.

 

“Jo wants to have dinner in here. Bones, I’ll set the table.” Jim wanted to break things up before Seri couldn’t stop herself from playing with Ginny.

 

“Jim, would you get Callie and make sue the gifts are straightened up?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Seri, Joce, why don’t we all set the table? Evan, can you get a nice red from the basement? It’s the first door on the right.”

 

“What can I do Leonard?” Ginny tried to assert herself into the close-knit group.

 

“Grab the candles from the cupboard, and put them on the cake. She gets nine this year.”

 

Seri was confused. “Why nine? She is only eight.”

 

“Old Earth superstition.  One is left unlit. That is the one to grow on.”

 

Jim went to look for Callie. Len had wanted him to get her, but Jim suspected he also wanted Callie calm before the evening started. She stood on the back porch and stared into the distance beyond the peach grove. “Cal.” She didn’t answer. “Cal…Caroline.”

 

“Don’t call me that.”, she hissed.

 

“Then answer me.”

 

“Why do I let her get to me like that? Anymore, all I have to do is see her and I go off.”

 

“I don’t know you well enough to take a guess, but maybe one day we will talk and you will tell me more about you.” His blue eyes shown with nothing but concern and sincerity.

 

“Maybe, but then you will have to tell me about you.”

 

“Much later then.  Let me keep up the illusion that I am a nice guy.” Jim took her arm and drug her into the house.

 

Mama came walking up to the back of the house from the stables. Jake had put the horses in their stalls as soon as she returned. She could see Jim and Callie having a lively exchange on the porch as he drug her into the house. Ginny must be there. She snuck upstairs to get cleaned up and dressed. George would be there soon and she didn’t need to smell like horse.  He knew all of the players in the game, so Lena didn’t have to rush. She suspected Jim and Seri could hold their own, but poor Evan. Oh well, he had to learn the family dynamic sometime.

 

Jo ran down the main staircase and collided with Jim. He pretended to be knocked over and fell to the floor with a thud, and closed his eyes as if he was knocked out.  Jo was worried that she had hurt him. “Uncle Jim! Uncle Jim I’m so sorry. Uncle Jim, please wake up.” As she knelt next to him, Jim grabbed her and started to tickle her on her sides.

 

“Gottcha! Let’s go get some food.” Jo was thrown over his shoulder and carried into the kitchen.

 

Giggles could be heard all through the house. “Uncle Jim put me down!” Jim shifted and threw her to her dad.

 

“Got you Turtle! Time to eat. Jo, this is your Aunt Victoria.” Jo put her head on her father’s shoulder, but extended her hand. 

 

Virginia shook her little hand. “You don’t remember me, but I remember you.”

 

George pulled up to the side entrance and Mama came down just in time for dinner to start. Seri made sure that Len sat at the head of the table as everyone made their way to their seats.  Jo sat in the seat between her mom and Jim as George sat at the end opposite Len before Virginia could take the seat. Dinner was spent laughing as Jo explained how Uncle Jim was going to help her with the horses.

 

“Joanna, do you want to work with horses?”

 

“Yes! I love horses. What about you, Aunt Virginia? Don’t you like them?”

 

“Not particularly, they are dirty and smelly.”

 

“I know! Aren’t they great!”  Jo wasn’t deterred by her aunt. Her love of` life, and determination to not allow another person to change that, made her father proud.

 

Seri had been reading Virginia.  Not her thoughts, Len would not have appreciated that, but everything else.  She knew enough to know that this woman was nothing like the rest of her family, and was not to be trusted. Suddenly, and without warning, Virginia’s emotions turned to pure jealousy, though her overall countenance gave none of her feelings away.  Nonchalantly Seri followed her gaze; it had fallen on the engagement ring. She knew the best course of action was to not acknowledge she knew anything.

 

Callie brought the cake to the table and Len lit the candles.  Jo closed her eyes as tight as she could, made a wish, and blew them all out. “So, Turtle, what did you wish for?”

 

“Daddy, you know I can’t tell you that.  If I do it won’t come true.” Jo cut the first slice, then Joce took over.  “Daddy, Mommy, may I open my presents now?”

 

“Of course, baby.”

 

“Turtle, I’ll be in in a minute.”

 

“Okay Daddy.”

 

Seri stayed back with Len as everyone else followed Jo into the den. “Peaches, what’s wrong? You’re awfully quiet.”

 

“Ginny is really jealous. She saw the ring.”

 

“It is none of her concern.  I won’t let her bother you.”

 

“Oh, I can handle her.  I don’t wasn’t her to ruin Jo’s big day.”

 

“Don’t worry, she likes to attack one on one.  She’ll come after me later, when I’m alone. Jim has Callie, so that won’t be an issue.”

 

“Should I remove the knives? You know, just in case.” They laughed as they made their way to the den.

 

Everyone was seated, with Jo on the floor in the middle of the room surrounded by her presents. “Daddy, can I start now?”

 

“Go ahead baby.”

 

Jo ripped through the gifts. The bicycle from Mama, and the riding helmet from George both elicited squeals.  Virginia’s doll got a huge smile.  Callie’s PADD was loaded with all manner of horse information that Jo couldn’t wait to start reading. There was a tortoise from Joce and its enclosure from Evan.  Jo was instantly in love with her buddy and threw her arms around both of them.  Jim’s pink saddle pad was a huge hit. Len’s saddle with leathers and stirrups was the gift that made her scream. She jumped into her dads’ arms and gave him a kiss.  Finally, she picked up Seri’s gift.  It was in a robin’s egg blue box, with a white satin bow.  It was a sterling silver horseshoe attached to a sterling silver chain.  Jo’s name was engraved on the curve of the shoe.  Jo kept staring at it and fingering the pendant.  “Mommy, can you help me put this on?” She carefully placed the pendant around her baby’s neck.  “Thank you, Daddy and Mommy! This was the best birthday ever!”

 

For Len and Joce it was a great night.  To see their daughter that happy made everything worthwhile.  “Uncle Jim, can you help me carry these to the stables? Can I leave Herman in the den for tonight?  I think he has to be put up high so Gritts doesn’t get to him. I want to find the perfect place to put his home. Thank you, Grandma and Uncle George!” Everyone got a kiss as she grabbed her new helmet.  George placed Herman’s habitat, with Herman in it, on the credenza. Callie grabbed the saddle pad and Jim grabbed the saddle. The three of them headed down to the stables.

 

There was an empty saddle rack in the tack room just at Jo height. “Aunt Callie we can put everything here!”

 

 “Okay Munchkin, do you think Uncle Jim and I can be trusted to do it right?”

 

“Very funny Aunt Callie.” After everything was put up to Jo’s satisfaction, she started to run back to the house. 

 

Jim started to follow her until he noticed Callie wasn’t behind them. “Aren’t you coming?”

 

“Not yet.”

 

“Jo!” Jim yelled after her. “Go in through the kitchen where I can see you.  Aunt Cal and I have a few things to clean up.”

 

“Okay!” He watched her as she ran up the stairs and into the house.

 

“Now, Cal, what’s up?”

 

“I don’t think we know each other well enough for me to answer that question.”

 

“Fair enough, but I’m staying with you for now.” His smile was soft and caring.

 

Seri, Joce, and Evan were cleaning the kitchen when Jo burst through the door.  “Jojo, do you ever just walk?”

 

She began to giggle. “No Uncle Evan, where would the fun be in that?” Joce couldn’t remember the first time Jo used that phrase, but it was her favorite.

 

Joce called Jo over. “Baby, Daddy, Aunt Seri, and I were wondering if you would like to go with them to visit Aunt Seri’s family?”

 

“Where are they Mommy?”

 

“Aunt Seri is from a planet called Betazed.  It is a little far, but you would be there in a little over a day.”

 

The little girl suddenly became very serious. “But Mommy, Daddy hates space travel.”

 

“Yes, but he loves Seri, and he is part of Starfleet.  He needs to get use to space travel.”

 

“Maybe I should go Mommy. Daddy may need my help when he is traveling.”                       

 

“Do you want to go Baby? Don’t just say yes to keep Daddy safe.”

 

She kept thinking. “Yes! I bet it is pretty there. Thank you, Mommy. Thank you, Uncle Evan. Aunt Seri, I’m going home with you!”

 

Joce was amazed by the fact that Jo understood Evan was consulted.  Jo saw them all as her parents.  Hopefully this would make the teen years easier, but Joce doubted it. Jo ran to the den to see her grandma and uncle.

 

“Grandma, can I keep my bike here?”

 

“Of course, Baby.”

 

“Uncle George, how did you know my size?”

 

“Magic.” Jo’s eyes grew wide as George grabbed her and swung her around. “Alright little one, time for bed. Off you go.” She gave them both kisses and went to the kitchen to say her goodnights.

 

“Uncle George said it was time for bed.”

 

Joce came to her. “He’s right.  Goodnight Baby.”

 

All of the adults were given kisses as Jo headed to bed. She called over her shoulder as she headed up the back stairs, “Say goodnight to Aunt Callie and Uncle Jim for me.”

 

 A few minutes later Jo ran back down the stairs, straight into her mother’s arms, scared.  She sat down as she pulled Jo into her lap. “What is it Baby?”

 

“It’s Daddy. He’s yelling.” She was almost in tears.

 

“At you?” Joce found it hard to believe her ex would ever raise his voice to any child, but especially to their daughter.

 

“No Mommy, at Aunt Virginia.  They are both yelling.”

 

Seri looked at the little girl and her mother. “Don’t worry Joce. I’ve got this. Jo, are you afraid of Daddy?”

 

“Never Aunt Seri! I’m just scared of the yelling. Daddy’s angry.”

 

“I’ll go up Jo.  I’ll see what Daddy’s upset about. Don’t worry.”

 

Joce held her little one tight. “Baby, don’t worry. Daddy would never yell at you. Especially not like that.”

 

“I know Mommy. I don’t think I like Aunt Virginia.”

 

“It’s okay Baby. Neither do I.”

 

Len had gone upstairs while Jo was in the tack room with Jim and Callie. He needed to check his PADD in case anything had come from the Academy or Emory.  As he passed the blue room he hoped his sister hadn’t heard him. “Leonard.” No such luck.

 

“Yes Virginia?”

 

“I shall not be treated this way.”

 

“And what way is that?”

 

“As a guest in my own mother’s house.”

 

“But Virginia, you aren’t being treated that way.”

 

“Yes I am. I’ve been put in the guest room, while someone else is in my rooms.  I assume you put Jim in there without thinking to ask me if it was alright.” Her voice got progressively louder as the conversation continued.

 

Len’s voice also got louder.  If he hadn’t raised his voice she wouldn’t have heard him, and would have thought she was in charge. “No Ginny, you misunderstand me.”

 

“I don’t believe I misunderstood anything.  You are acting as if you are the lord of the manor. You have been treating me like I am your guest.”

 

His smile was cold. “You are my guest. You are under this roof because I allow it.”

 

“You have no right. You gave that woman our great-great-grandmother’s ring. How dare you! That was mine! I’m the oldest daughter.”

 

“Ginny, you have been laboring under many delusions.  Allow me to disabuse you of your misconceptions. First and foremost, this is my house, not Mama’s. Grandma left it to me, not our father. As for the family jewelry, grandma gave it all to me to do with as I pleased. Until today I was entertaining the idea of dividing it between the three of us. This little discussion ended any thoughts I had along those lines. Close your mouth. You look like a catfish. You are welcome to visit Mama at anytime; though I doubt you will given how many times you have been here since Dad’s funeral. You are so fucking much like him it is scary. I shall be transferring funds to your account. Take that as your portion of the family holdings. Don’t ever come to me for anything again.  I am ending twenty-five years of bullshit tonight.”

 

“You are lying. I’ll do what I want in this house.”

 

“I’m not and don’t try me. You’ll lose more than you could ever imagine.”

 

Seri stood far behind Ginny when she came up the stairs. She stood back far enough that they hadn’t realized she had come up. Len was too invested in the conversation to feel her. “Both of you need to stop. Jo heard you and she is scared.”

 

They both looked at her; Len with concern, Virginia with contempt. “Ginny, this conversation is over.” He pushed past her and quickly went to the kitchen, with Seri close behind him. For her part, Virginia refused to be deterred.  This warranted an explanation. She had plans, and Len’s revelations put a severe kink in those plans.  Mama would know, she would tell her that what her brother had told her was nothing but a lie.

 

Jim sat silently with Cal in the tack room while she rearranged the harnesses. “Jim?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Can you tell me about yourself?”

 

“Why? I’m boring.”

 

“I doubt that. You’ve been here for days. You know how I grew up. You know Mama; and I’m sure you’ve heard enough about Dad to know what life was like with him.”

 

Jim saw his opportunity. She needed to talk, and this was his opening. “Not really, Len didn’t tell me much about your dad. He mostly talked about Emory and what happened there.” It wasn’t a lie. Len didn’t tell him much. As a matter of fact, he never mentioned his father until this past week.  That told Jim a lot about how the man treated his son.  

 

“Did you ever have someone not care if you existed, but all you wanted was their approval? That was dad and me. He actively disliked Len. That was probably because my brother is a brilliant, good man. Don’t tell him I said that. Len always thought I made Dad happy.  Funny isn’t it.” She tried to smile, but it didn’t convince Jim.

 

“Don’t worry Cal. No one will ever know what you say to me.”

 

“I can see why my brother loves you. I’m sorry about the way I acted around Ginny.”

 

“Are you?”

 

“No. But, I am sorry I acted that way around everyone else. Like I said, I don’t know why she gets to me like that. And don’t say it’s because I allow her to get to me. I’m well aware of that fact.”

 

“Maybe it’s because she reminds you of your father?”

 

“How did you know she was like him?”

 

“Well, she isn’t like Mama, one look told me that. And, everything I’ve heard aside, the way she carried herself told me she must be like your father.”

 

“Yep, greedy, vain, and with a great deal of hubris; she is exactly like him.”

 

“And you like your mother and brother.”

 

“God, I hope so. Now it’s your turn.”

 

“My turn for what?”

 

“Like I said on the porch, you have to tell me something about yourself.”

 

Jim was taken aback. He had allowed her to vent about her family. Had she played him? Had she opened up to him just to get information? The soft look on her face, and in her eyes told him no. She was genuine, just like her brother. His eyes held hers for several seconds. “I’m George Kirk’s youngest.” Their eyes stayed locked for several more seconds.

 

He turned and walked back to the house. “Jim, stop please. Jim I’m sorry.”

 

She ran up behind him as he stopped. “It’s okay Cal. It is just not something I announce.” He looked down at her. What was it about her that drew him in? “I’m not him. At the Academy I’m George Kirk’s son before I am anything else.  I don’t want that here.”

 

“Jimmy, you will never be just that to me. To me you are you.”

 

“And you aren’t just David McCoy’s daughter. Please don’t forget that.” Quietly they walked back to the house.

 

 Jim walked into the kitchen in front of Cal. He didn’t like what he walked into. Jo looked scared, Evan was angry, and Joce looked concerned. “What is going on?”

 

Evan turned to him. “Ginny and Len were fighting. Jo heard them and got scared. She isn’t use to yelling.”

 

Jim sat down, he understood what his niece was feeling. His mother and Frank would yell at each other a lot when she was home. Those times were spent hidden under his bed, or at the neighbor’s farm. “Munchkin, can you come here for a minute?” Jo slowly climbed down from her mother’s lap and climbed into Jim’s.  He held her to him as he talked to her. “When I was little, my mom and stepdad would yell at each other all the time.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. And I use to get scared the same way you did.”

 

She pulled back so she could see his face. “You get scared?”

 

“Everyone gets scared sometimes.  If anyone tells you they never get scared, they are either a liar or really stupid.” Jo giggled as she settled back against his chest. “The thing is, I started to realize loud voices couldn’t hurt me. The person who yells is usually weak, especially if they are the ones who yell first. Once I realized yellers weren’t strong I stopped being scared.  When I got older I realized some people yell when they are scared, but that is different. Yelling when you are angry to scare someone means you aren’t strong. Does that make sense Munchkin?”

 

“So, Daddy and Aunt Virginia are weak?”

 

Callie had been listening to Jim. “No baby, your dad had to yell for Aunt Virginia to hear him. Trust me, she isn’t that smart.”

 

Jim looked down at Jo. “Your daddy is the strongest man I know.  He would never yell to scare anyone.”

 

Jo was giggling by the time Len made it down the back stairs. She jumped from her uncle’s lap and ran into her father’s arms. “I never want to scare you baby. I love you so much.”

 

“I know Daddy. Uncle Jim explained it. I don’t think I like Aunt Virginia. Is that okay?”

 

He knelt down in front of her. “Baby, you don’t have to like anyone, except maybe Ollie.” She threw her arms around her dad’s neck. “I thought Mommy and Uncle Evan should put you to bed. You won’t see them for a few weeks. What do you think?”

 

“I think you’re right. Mommy, Uncle Evan, let’s go.” The two adults found themselves being drug up the back stairs to the princess bedroom.”

 

“Jim thanks. I didn’t know Jo was there. I never want her to be afraid of me.”

 

“She wasn’t. She was afraid of the yelling. Hopefully, what I told her will help her later as well.”

 

“What did you tell her?”

 

“That loud voices can’t hurt you. Also, that people who yell to intimidate or scare others are weak.” Len looked upset. “Don’t worry, Cal told her that Ginny wouldn’t hear you unless you yelled. I told her that you are the strongest man I know.”

 

“Thanks for that, but you didn’t have to lie.”

 

“About what?”

 

“Me being the strongest man you know.”

 

Jim stood up and walked to Len. “I didn’t.” With that Jim excused himself and went to his rooms.

 

Callie walked up to her brother. “I doubt you have heard the last from the bitch.”

 

“So do I, but nothing changes for us no matter what she tries. I am going to buy her off with enough credits to shut her up.  She never needs to know what this estate is actually worth.”

 

“Then I would suggest you get to Mama and Uncle George before she does. Keep her from lying.”

 

“They know how she is, but I see your point.” Len grabbed Seri’s hand and headed to the den.  He didn’t need her for this, but the support was nice.

 

Callie thought about everything that happened as she walked out to the front porch. Jim had gone up early; most likely because of the conversation they had in the tack room.  Len had been right years ago, sometimes she needed to learn to keep her damned mouth shut. She could hear Jim pacing on the veranda directly above her. She should leave him alone, but she was Caroline McCoy. When did she ever do what others thought she should do? Against all common sense, Callie went upstairs to talk to Jim.

 

Len and Seri entered the den. Virginia was already there. Mama and George were seated on the couch as Virginia draped herself across the extra large winged back chair. “Hello Leonard, Seriana. Mama and I were having a conversation about your treatment of me.”

 

“And what conclusions have you arrived at in my absence?” Len sat in the other winged back chair. Seri noticed a distinct change in her fiancé. He sat in the chair as if he were the captain of a starship, and his vocabulary was much more formal than usual. He left no doubt as to who was in charge.

 

Lena looked at her children. Virginia, ever the child, so much like her father. Len, the adult, confident, and in charge. The past week had changed him. It was a good change. She knew this confrontation had been coming for years. By the end of it all she might lose her daughter, but in truth Ginny was never hers.  From an early age her oldest daughter had showed nothing but contempt for her. The child’s behavior had been reinforced by David. No matter how hard Lena had tried to correct the behavior, her husband would undermine all of her efforts. What now sat in front of Lena was the result of his influence. So be it she thought. Ginny needed to learn.

 

“Go ahead Ginny, tell me what you have told Mama and Uncle George.”

 

“I only told them what I told you. That you made me a guest in my own mother’s house. That you took all the family jewelry and gave my ring to that woman.” She pointed at Seri without looking at her.

 

“That woman is my fiancé and will be addressed with respect. Do you understand?”

 

“Mom, this is your house. How can you allow this to go on? Should I not be afforded respect, especially in this house?”

 

“Virginia, you are mistaken. This is only my house because your brother allows it. Why do you believe you deserve respect from him? You have never shown your brother, or any of us for that matter, any respect. Tonight is a prime example of that.”

 

“Mother! That isn’t true. This house is yours. Dad promised me my share after you died.” Virginia was becoming flustered and flushed. For his part, Len had rarely been this calm in his life.

 

“Thank you for killing me off in your mind.” Virginia opened her mouth to protest. “No Ginny, that is exactly how your mind works. It is always calculating how it can use people. You are exactly like David, and for that I am truly sorry. As long as you are like this you will never be successful, you will never be happy.  I am so sorry baby.”

 

Ginny looked at Len. “So, it’s true.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Now I have to go to my brother and beg for what should be rightfully mine?”

 

“No, I am about to make that problem go away. Uncle George will see to this, but I will give you four million credits, and the bedroom suite from the blue room if you want it. For that you will give up any claims you may feel you have concerning this property, or any of the family holdings. Also, you may visit Mama anytime you want, but I never want to set my eyes on you again. Once Uncle George draws up the agreement and we both sign it, you will be given all that I have stated. Is that acceptable to you?”

 

“Yes Leonard. It is acceptable.”

 

“I am sorry for you Ginny.”

 

“Why? I am one of the most successful interstellar gold and latium dealers in this sector. I am more successful than you will ever be.”

 

“I am sorry for you.  You have money, and a career, and nothing that matters. One day I hope you find love and peace. Goodbye Ginny.”

 

“Goodbye Leonard. Mother, I am leaving now. I’ll call before I come to visit.” She gave her mother a kiss, retrieved her bag, and left her family’s home.

 

Lena started to say something to Len. “Not now Mama. Later maybe, just not now.” With that he left the den.

 

“Seri, baby are you going after him?”

 

“Not yet Mama. I can feel him. He needs time alone. I’ll go soon though, he’ll want someone then.”

 

Lena gave Seri a kiss and headed to bed with George. She needed the support. Before they could go up, they heard Joce and Evan leave. She would talk to Joce later and fill her in about tonight.

 

Callie stood outside Jim’s door. She could hear the family in the den. No matter how much she wanted to go down, she knew Len needed to do this on his own. He was the head of the family, time for him to see that. It was time for him to stop being David McCoy’s son.

 

Cal couldn’t figure out shy she was so nervous. Jim wasn’t like any of the men she had met. He could keep up with her.  Callie didn’t suffer idiots; at least that is how she saw it. Her last boyfriend told her she was an intellectual snob, the one before him told her he was tired of being run over in every conversation. Jim had an intellect to match hers. Unfortunately, that also meant he could shut down her questions and hide from her probes. Len trusted him; Len loved him, that made him interesting to Cal. She wanted to know what went on behind those beautiful blue eyes.

 

After several minutes she knocked. “Jim, Jim it’s Cal.” She knew he was still awake. “May I come in please?” His footsteps were heavy as he approached the door.  The door opened slowly. She wasn’t prepared for what greeted her.

 

Jim’s eyes were red, and he was shaky. “Go away.”

 

“No.” Cal pushed past him.

 

“Please Cal, we can talk tomorrow.”

 

“Yes, we can, but we need to talk now.”

 

She walked out to the veranda. Jim followed without thinking, it felt natural. “Cal, you don’t want this. Trust me. You only met me a few hours ago, you don’t know me.”

 

She continued staring at the pecan trees. “This is my favorite view from the house. I’m glad Len gave you these rooms.” Jim came to stand next to her, but he didn’t look at the trees. “Jim, what is it about my car that upsets you?”

 

He turned his attention from the car to her. “What?”

 

Cal shifted her focus from the trees to him. “You’ve been staring at my car since we stepped out here, your jaw is locked, your hands are mildly shaking, and you are sweating.”

 

“Don’t do that.” He walked back into the bedroom with Cal right behind him.

 

“Do what?”

 

“Play the fucking therapist with me.  I’ve had enough in my life. I don’t need another.”

 

As Cal stood in front of him she searched his eyes for the cold anger she heard in his voice. It wasn’t there. “I’m not. I just know what I see. I think today really fucked with you. Do you want to know what I’ve noticed?”

 

All Jim could think was no, he didn’t want to know what she saw. “Sure, tell me what the hell you’ve noticed.”

 

As Cal started to talk, he began to get ready for bed. “You don’t like my name Callie; you only call me Cal.” He concentrated on the sheets. “You don’t want to go anywhere near my car, but you did to help Len. You love him enough to hurt yourself if it will help him.” Jim walked into the bathroom; the shower turned on. “Jim, you’re right you don’t know me. I don’t know you either. But, I know that Len loves and trusts you. My brother loves very few people, and trusts even fewer. I want to be your friend if you want to give me a chance. You don’t have to tell me everything, but give me a chance. Let me be there for you…  Goodnight Jimmy.”

 

Jim heard to door to the bedroom shut. What was it with the McCoy women.  Without trying they found everyone of his buttons, and weren’t shy about pushing them. The hot shower pulsed at his neck and shoulders. All he could think about were the things she said.  The shower wasn’t relaxing. He jumped out, quickly dried off, threw on shorts and an old Academy shirt.

 

Before he realized what happened, he stood in front of Cal’s bedroom door. “Cal, it’s Jim.” The door opened.

 

She stood in front of him waring one of her brother’s tee shirts. It fit her like a dress. All Jim could see were her eyes.  “Cal, I’m sorry.” She moved to the side as he walked in. “Please forgive me.”

 

“No.” He had pushed her too far.  Jim’s eyes filled with tears as she stood in front of him. “Jimmy, there is nothing to forgive. You were scared, and I was pushy. I’m sorry. Len was right, I need to learn to keep my damn mouth shut. Can we start again? Hi, my name is Cal.”

 

“Cal, we don’t need to start over. I like you the way you are, mouth and all.”

 

“Jimmy, can you give me a minute? I’ll be right back.” Jim sat in the adjoining room.  The fireplace was lit as he sat on the couch. Not long after Cal was back with a bottle of Montoya Cabernet, two crystal wine glasses, and a corkscrew. “Jimmy, can you open this? I suck at using a corkscrew. Sommelier is not a profession in my future.” Jim opened the bottle and set it on the coffee table to breath. “Just pour it. I’m not as sophisticated as Len.”

 

She giggled as Jim poured the wine. “What should we toast to Cal?”

 

 “To family.”

 

“Perfect. Cal, you can ask me anything you want, but you only get one question.” He sipped the wine as she studied him.

 

“Okay…but your answer has to be in detail. One or two sentences isn’t going to work. If you do that, then you can ask me anything.”

 

“Hmmmm… can I ask you another day, or does it have to be tonight?”

 

“Another night would be okay.”

 

“Alright, then ask away.” His cockiness was back. How bad could one question be? One question was definitely doable.

 

Cal didn’t rush. She needed to chose her words very carefully. “Jimmy, I told you my observations earlier.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And I heard what you said to Jojo.”

 

“Yes.” Jim began to think he made a devil’s bargain.

 

“What about your life had you in tears tonight? Remember a detailed answer please.”

 

Jim downed the glass of wine and poured himself another. “I see why you brought the wine up.  Are you sure you want to know? I’m not being facetious. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it.”

 

“Do Len and Seri know what you are going to tell me?”

 

“Yes, and so does Mama.” He wouldn’t tell her how Kallie died. That would only come when he felt as safe with her as he did with Len. “Cal, you already have your Masters in Psych?”

 

“Yes. I finished high school at fifteen. I was precocious. Why?”

 

“What do you know about Tarsus IV?”

 

“There were mass executions. Kodos, the leader, killed off a great deal of the population. He stated that there was a lack of resources and if he didn’t they all would have died. In the end the Federation brought food and medicine to the colony.  They all died for nothing. There were a group of children who evaded the death squads. They had a leader who…Oh fuck.”

 

“Yeah, let me start from the beginning.” Hours went by. Jim told her everything; Frank, Charlie, the ‘vette, his mom, his aunt and uncle, and finally Kallie. All he said was she died in his arms.  That was enough.

 

By the end of the story, the wine was done, and so was Jim. Cal moved closer to him and put her arm around his shoulders. As his head came to rest on her shoulder, she kissed the top of his head. “I’ve got you Jimmy. You’re always safe with me.” With that the flood gates opened.

 

He understood Bones. Jim hadn’t cried since he was a child. This past week he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Maybe this is what he needed. He needed to confront his past if he was to move forward. He lived in George Kirk’s shadow; that would be easier if he purged all other demons. “Cal, I’m sorry.”

 

“Please don’t do that. We are family. At least that is the way Len and Mama see it.”

 

“Is that how you see it?”

 

“Funny enough, I do.” She held him until the tears finally stopped. She had heard Len and Seri’s door close a couple of times since they started talking. Mama and George were definitely asleep by now. It was late; she hadn’t expected the talk to last as long as it did. “Jimmy?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You need some rest. You can sleep here, or I’ll sleep in your den.”

 

He sat up. “I’m fine. I’ll go back to my room.”

 

“The hell you are.  You are far from fine.” She grabbed a pillow and blanket. “Let’s go to your room.”

 

“Sometimes you sound like Bones. Fine, but I’ll sleep on the couch.”

 

“No, you need to sleep in your bed. Also, I’m a lot smaller than you. The couch is more than big enough for my tiny ass.”

 

The fire was turned off as they headed out to his rooms. Cal made sure he was comfortable under the covers, went to the bathroom, and headed to the couch. The door between the rooms was left open. She knew it was going to be a long night.


	24. chapter 24

That summer made Len the man he was; strong and confident. He wasn’t going to allow Mylus to change that. His eyes snapped open. Seri went with Jim. Fuck! No one but he knew what she was capable of doing to Dardrok. He could feel her. She couldn’t be allowed to do what she wanted to do. She knew the interrogators weaknesses. Theoretically, she could slowly drive him insane. _“Seri.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Please don’t do it. I can feel you. You can’t hide from me. You can hide from everyone else, but not from me.”_

_“Leave me alone.”_

_“No. I don’t want to lose you to him. I won’t lose you to the hate. Please Seri, don’t do it. Please don’t; please for me.”_ He was begging her. He had never done that before, not really. She was his world, he couldn’t lose that; he couldn’t lose everything.

_“For you, only for you.”_

Len calmed. He knew she wouldn’t destroy Dardrok or herself. He could feel her anger, but now it was controlled. _“I love you Imzadi. Please be careful.”_

_“I love you too Len. I’ll let you know when we are done?”_

 

Jim had no idea about the exchange between his CMO and ship’s counselor. If he had he may not have allowed her to do what she knew she was good at.  She wasn’t just good at interrogating, she was one of the best.  Working on a ship that was known for only having Starfleet’s elite made it easy for anyone to forget they were exceptional at their job. When everyone is exceptional, the exceptional is ordinary. This was the one talent Seri never took for granted; the one that she took pride in. This was the first time in years she had been able to use her gift.

Jim and Seri arrived at the brig. _“Seri, I need you to find out why he tortured Pavel and Len. It wasn’t for the technology. Len has no knowledge of any of the weapons or defensive systems. I need to know what their end game is.”_

_“Not a problem. It shouldn’t take too long. Jim?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“I won’t do anything to him out of hatred and vengeance. Can you say the same?”_

He stared at her. How could he promise that when all he wanted to do was destroy the creature on the other side of the door. She pulled him into the room across from the brig. “No.”

 

“Then please stay here. I need you in control when you go in there. If you do what I can feel you want to do, I will not be able to find out what they really want. Jim, what do you want? I know, but I still want you to tell me.”

 

“Seri, I want him to suffer.”

 

“Len made me promise not to do anything. He doesn’t want to lose me to this. I think, if he could, he would ask the same of you.”

 

“Probably. When this is over, I think I need to talk to the counselor.”

 

“I’ll talk to her. We are pretty close. I know she is booked solid for weeks, but I think I can get you in with her soon.” She smiled as she turned his face to look at her. “But, for now let me lead the interrogation. You can come in later. I’ll let you know when.  Better to keep Dardrok off balance.”

 

“Okay, but Cupcake stays with you at all times.”

 

She smiled. “I can’t believe you still call him that.”

 

“Not to his face. I’m not that stupid.”

 

“Deal; don’t go too far.”

 

“I won’t. Just give me enough time to calm down before you call for me.”

 

“I will.”  With that Seri left Jim and entered the brig.

 

“Hello, I am Dr. Targan. And you are?” The Mylan did not answer. Seri pulled a chair up to the front of the cell. “Should I assume this is going to take some time?” Still no answer. “Mr. Dardrok, I am here to help you. I think we can get through this without any unpleasantness. I am a counselor; I shall not hurt you.”

 

Dardrok had heard all of this before. Hell, he had said those things to many people. He knew being silent wouldn’t work for long. Silence more often than not, led to pain. “Dr. Targan, are you a medical doctor?”

 

“Yes. Are you a doctor?” She knew the answer. She had been reading his thoughts since she first saw him.

 

“Yes, I am. Do you work for Dr. McCoy?” Dardrok had been watching Seri, as he sized her up. What he saw was a small beautiful woman. He assumed she would be under a man like Dr. Leonard McCoy. Very few Mylan females were leaders, none who were the Mylan equivalent of this woman. Beautiful Mylan females were there to service the men above them, nothing else.

 

“No. Why?”

 

“Just wondering.” He realized their intelligence must have been wrong. The Federation did not treat their females the way the Mylans did. Females in this society were the equivalent of the males.

 

“You seem interested in Dr. McCoy. Do all doctors interest you?” She loved that he under estimated her. It would make things easier.

 

“No. But, he and I spent some time together. I found him most interesting.”

 

“What made him interesting?” The Mylan smiled, then turned away. “Is there anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable?”

 

“I could use a drink.”

 

Seri got him a glass of cold water, and handed it to him through the temporary hole she had made in the force field. His hand brushed hers. _“Jim, give me about an hour. He won’t tell me his end game, but eventually he will think about it. He thinks I am beneath him. It keeps him off guard.”_

_“Will you allow me to read your thoughts.”_

_“Not till you calm down.”_

_“Fair enough Doctor.”_

For the next hour Seri continued her series of seemingly innocuous questions. She continued to probe his thoughts. Nothing told her what the end game was; only that he wanted to break Len. He didn’t want to kill him, just break him. Why? To what end?

 

“Dr. Dardrok, what would you like for dinner? It is becoming obvious that you will be our guest for some time.”

 

“I do not care.”

 

“Alright, I’ll have something sent to you.” Before she left, she heard his fear. His thoughts went to his little girl. He had begun to resign himself to the probability that he would never see her again. “Do you want me to send a message to anyone?”

 

“No.”

 

“Not even Kainill? Oh well, I’ll be back later.”  Seri didn’t give him time to answer as she left the brig.

 

Dardrok resisted his desire to call after her.  How did she know about his daughter? How did she know his baby’s name?” There was no possible way Dr. McCoy could have remembered it.  The pain would have been too intense for him to recall any details of his time on Mylus. No, they had to find out another way. Had Starfleet succeeded where he had failed? Had they planted a mole in the Mylan military? Did they have a Mylan under their control?

 

Seri hadn’t gotten further than the other side of the brig’s door when she heard all she needed to hear. His thoughts gave away their purpose in torturing Len. _“Jim, where are you?”_

_“In my quarters.”_

_“Stay there, I’m coming up. Len, It’s over. I’m done.”_

_“Thank you Imzadi.”_

Seri felt Jim’s tension even before she got to his room. When she entered, the only light in the room came from under the bathroom door. “Jim, can you turn the lights on?”

 

“I like the dark. It’s relaxing.”

 

“Understandable; I got what you wanted.”

 

“Lights 50%.” He squinted when the lights came on. “You’re kidding. That didn’t take long.”

 

“He isn’t exactly hard to read. I just needed to find the right button to push.”

 

“So, what was all of it about? Why is Pavel dead? Why is Len living in Hell?”

 

“A mole, they were trying to create a mole.”

 

“A mole?”

 

“You told me they wanted some of our technology in exchange for their hostages.  The mole would be more effective. With him, they could get everything.”

 

“I know. I am just wondering why Pavel had to die. Why kill him instead of turning him.”

 

“I read the autopsy report. He was the test subject. No matter what Len thinks, they never wanted to take him first. They wanted one of the others.”

 

“Why did they go for Len first?”

 

“I know why I would. It would show who the strongest of the others was.  They wanted someone who would withstand the most abuse.  They wanted to know how much abuse a strong human male could endure before it killed him.”

 

“They found out.”

 

“Not really. They didn’t kill him.”

 

“I know.” A look of sadness crept over his face.

 

“Jim, what are you going to do with this?”

 

“I don’t know yet.” He got up and walked to the com. “Mr. Spock, report to my ready room. Come on Kiddo. Let’s see what we can all come up with.”

 

“Jim, should Len be a part of this? He has made a great deal of progress, but he is still fragile.”

 

“I know.  This may give him some closure.  He can help to bring those who did this to justice.”

 

“Justice? I don’t believe there will ever be true justice.  But I would like to see them pay.”

 

“Remind me not to really piss you off.”

 

“Don’t worry, you can’t.”

 

They made their way to the ready room. Spock was already there when they arrived. “Lieutenant, can you give us the room.”

 

“Yes Captain.” She left without hesitation. Something was going on, but she knew enough to understand she didn’t need to know everything. One of them would tell her if or when the time was right.

 

Jim sat on the edge of his desk and stared at his CMO. “Len, how are you doing?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“How about telling me the truth this time.”

 

“I’m doing better than I was. Can I assume this isn’t merely brotherly concern?”

 

“We know why they took all of you.”

 

“And what else do you know?”

 

“Why they did what they did. Seri got it all.”

 

Len closed his eyes and leaned his head back until it rested on the back of the couch. “I knew she would. She’s the best.”

 

_“I’m here Len. You don’t have to hear this if you don’t want.”_

 

_“I don’t know if I want to, but I know I need to hear it.”_

Jim moved to sit next to Len. He didn’t know what to expect, but he knew that he wanted to be close if Len needed him. Spock moved to sit on the edge of the desk. He had observed Seri’s countenance. Spock surmised that what she found out was going to be difficult for the doctor.

 

Jim took a deep breath. “The Mylan’s wanted to create a mole. They wanted to brainwash you. If they could break you, they could build you into a collaborator. Eventually they would use you to find out all of the Federation’s strengths and weaknesses. They…”

 

“I know how it works.” He didn’t mean to snap, but he couldn’t help it. He lifted his head off the back of the couch as he opened his eyes. “I’m sorry Jim. If that was what they wanted, why torture and kill Pavel? Why not just turn him into a mole?”

 

Seri stepped forward. “Pavel was the guinea pig. He was the one they used to see how far they push the human body.”

 

“You mean I was always the one they wanted?”

 

“Yes.” He stared at her. She felt him, felt his guilt. “Len, none of what happened was your fault.”

 

Jim had waited for this. Len always felt responsible for those he cared about; something they had in common. “Bones, the only ones at fault are the Mylans. You did nothing wrong.”

 

“I was the weak link. I was the one they chose. I was the one they thought they could turn.”

 

“Leonard, you were not the weakest, you were the most valuable.”

 

“Spock, you’re wrong. If they thought I was strong they never would have picked me.”

 

“Bones, they took Pavel first because they believed him to be the strongest of the others. They didn’t choose you because you were the weakest. Spock is right; you were the most valuable. You have access to everyone on this ship.  No one would question why you were in any section of the ship.  Your closest friends are the Captain and first officer of the fleet’s flagship. If you asked us any question do you think we would hesitate to answer you? Nothing you could ask would raise a red flag with either of us. Their rules about detaining the leader kept them from taking me. No, you were their best bet.”

 

“What if they had succeeded? I could have betrayed all of you. You could all have died because of me.”

 

“Leonard, it does no good to speculate about something that did not happen.”

 

Seri knelt in front of him. “It couldn’t have happened. I would have known. They may have been able to make you into what they wanted, but I would have known something was wrong. I would have gone into your head even without your permission. Len, if they **thought** they could break you, I **know** I could have brought you back to us. Do you understand what we are saying?”

 

“That my family would never have let me lose myself; never let me destroy all I hold dear.”

 

“Exactly.” Seri felt him relax a little. He had heard them.

 

“Captain, what do you want to do with this knowledge?  Should we notify Starfleet?”

 

“Yes. Uhura, I need you to make sure this is all blocked from the Mylans, but I need to be patched through to the admiralty as soon as possible.  Once you do so, could you report to my ready room.”

 

“Yes Captain.” Uhura patched him straight through to the admiralty as she set up a block to the transmission for any others.  No one other than the admirals would even know there was a transmission. She entered the ready room. “Captain, the admiralty is awaiting your report.”

 

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Jim went to his com and began telling Admiral Cochin all that had transpired with the Mylans.

 

Uhura took Jim’s place next to Len on the couch and gently placed her hand on his arm. Seri never took her eyes from his. Len knew the women in his life were strong, but until now he did not realize how much he took that for granted. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without all of you.” Seri kissed his forehead as she sat next to him on the couch. He took her hand in his. “When we get home, maybe we can all go to the farm. Just spend a few days relaxing where no one will find us.”

 

“I would like that Leonard. Nyota and I have discussed taking some time to get to know more about each other. I believe the farm will be quiet enough for that.” Spock understood human emotion enough to understand what his friend needed. He needed his entire family around him. Logically the farm would be the best place for this, and it would also give he and Nyota the time they needed.

 

“Len, what are you thinking?”

 

“Nothing Peaches, I’m not thinking of anything. My mind is in a test pattern.  I don’t want to think. If I do, I might start to think about the what ifs.”

 

“Spock is right. There is no point dwelling on things that did not happen.”

 

“I know. Nyota, do you think I am being foolish?” He turned to her.  She would never lie to him. Nyota not only never lied, she rarely softened the truth; at least not when it came to him.

 

“No sweetie, I don’t. You have never been foolish; silly sometimes, but not foolish.” Her warm smile helped.

 

Jim finished with the Admiral. “Len, when we get back, Admiral Cochin needs to see you.  She said she will read Seri’s report before hand so you won’t have to go over everything. She also said if you want to have someone with you that would be more than acceptable.”

 

“Captain, what has the Admiral determined should be done with the Mylans?”

 

“Starfleet is sending the Pegasus. We are going to give them a show of strength. Len, do you think you can go with me to meet with Dardrok?” He saw the change in Len’s eyes. “It is alright if you can’t. Trust me I doubt I would be able to if I were in your place.”

 

“No, I’ll go with you. I think it might be good for me.  I can’t spend my entire life wondering if he has any power over me.” _“Seri stay with me. I can’t do this without you.”_ She could feel his panic even if no one else could tell how he felt. He knew she could. She was always with him.

_“I won’t leave you. You can do this. I’ve watched you do worse. There are things in your life that were harder than this.”_

_“Really?! Like what? Right now, I can’t begin to think of anything harder than this.”_

_“Emory, and then there was that night with Ginny, and Jim dying, and there was the time…”_

_“Okay, I get your point. But still I need you.”_

_“I know. I’ll be there every second.”_ She would always be with him. They were tethered to each other emotionally, but even if they weren’t she would always be there. What she felt for him was more than love. This was what Imzadi meant.

“Bones, lets go.  Spock, you have the bridge. The Pegasus should be here within the hour. Please inform me when she arrives.”

 

“Yes Captain. Lieutenant will you return to the bridge with me.”

 

She knew it was an order, even if Spock posed it as a question. He was definitely becoming better with human etiquette. “Yes sir.” With that they both left to take their positions on the bridge.

 

“Commander, I won’t let anything happen to your fiancé.” Seri could tell Jim was trying to lighten the mood in the room. He hadn’t told her what the Admiral wanted them to do with regards to Dardrok. That could either mean that her job was done, or that there was something for her to do that Len couldn’t know about. Either way she would know soon enough.

 

Until the time Jim contacted her, she would keep herself in Len’s head. He needed her more than he had in years.  That year at the farm, and the time Jim died were the only other times she saw him this bad.  It was understandable, but she hurt for him all the same.


	25. chapter 25

Len left the den and walked to the back porch. He heard Ginny as she stormed out of the house, most likely for the last time. Her heels clicked against the wood, reminiscent of the starter on the old thresher. She would hate the comparison of her to a piece of old farm equipment. He would never see her again; it was his choice and for the best, but not easy. Maybe he should have kept the peace with her for Mama’s sake; too late for that now. No, there were things more important to him. He was a son, and a brother; but only after he was a father.

 

He used to say he loved Ginny because she was his sister, but he didn’t like her. That wasn’t the complete truth. He had no respect for the person she had become. She encompassed everything he despised in the human animal. He saw his father in her without any of the softness of nostalgia.  Over the years he may have overlooked many of his father’s faults because of his myopic view of the past. It was the view of a child, of an adult seeing their past through the eyes of their childhood. His view of Ginny never held that mystique. He didn’t love her. Len knew that now. He could never love someone he didn’t respect or like.

 

Ginny was toxic, he couldn’t have her around his little girl. Joanna changed everything. Ginny could hurt him, Ginny could try to cheat him, Ginny could try to use him; but he wouldn’t have that around Jo. Jo was such a happy child. She never saw any of the ugliness that came with the divorce. She had been too young to understand what happened; and even with all of her hurt and anger at the time, Joce never told Jo anything negative about Len.  Jo thought he was away and that was the reason her daddy couldn’t see her. 

 

His baby hadn’t been exposed to greed and hatred yet. Ginny would not be the one to expose her to those aspects of human nature; to change her view of the world. He knew that in time her innocence would be shattered. Jo would meet people who would hurt her, but she wouldn’t become like them. If he allowed Ginny to have any influence over his baby at her young age, she could pick up some of her aunt’s traits. Jo deserved more, she deserved a childhood filled with good, honorable and loving, people. He had done the right thing. Now he just needed to convince his soul of that.

 

There was a storm on the horizon. Hopefully the rain would cool the air, but Len doubted it. Summer in Georgia was hot even with the atmospheric regulators. At least there were no more hurricanes. The breeze from the storm brought the smell of the peach trees with it. Len allowed his definition of what had constituted his family blow away with the storms increasing winds. It was time for him to become the head of the family, not just on paper, but also in his mind.

 

He came back in after he heard Joce and Evan leave.  They didn’t need to be told what had happened in the den, not yet. Joce would know something was wrong. She would look into his eyes and know how hurt he was. He couldn’t hide this from her, she knew him too well. One day he would tell her everything. She needed to know what he did, and why. Jo would have questions that he might not be there to answer. She would understand, he knew that. Joce would tell him it was about time he eliminated Ginny from their lives. He knew what she would say; he just didn’t want to hear it that night.

 

As he headed up the stairs he could hear Seri in the den with Mama and George.  They were talking but their voices were made unintelligible by the closed, heavy, cherry, door. He heard Callie as she moved around upstairs. As her big brother he knew she wouldn’t be able to leave well enough alone when it came to Jim. For Jim’s part, Len knew Jim would never use Callie, not that he actually used any of the women he slept with. Jim never promised them anything, he never let them get close to him, and he certainly never told them he loved them. Len noticed the look Jim had when he had talked to Callie earlier; he had let her in.  Whatever grew from their obviously burgeoning friendship would last a life time. Len wasn’t stupid, he knew they were attracted to each other. He also knew that if they ever took their friendship further, it would only be if they were going to try to be with each other forever.

 

Quietly he entered Jo’s room. They had decorated it to look like a princess’ room. There was a pink canopy over her bed and pink and white striped bed curtains. She was sleeping so peacefully; her long black hair strewn across the pillow. From the day she was born Len loved to watch her sleep. He pulled up a chair next to the side of the bed on which she loved to sleep. He wanted to savor every night they had together. Soon she would be grown and he would have missed much of her childhood.  Maybe Starfleet was a rash decision. Maybe he was selfish and irresponsible, the way Ginny said he was.  He wouldn’t be there for Jo the way he could have been if he had stayed at Emory. But then he would never have met Jim or Seri. It was a tradeoff. He would make sure to call home to Jo at least once or twice a week once he was deployed, and come home every time they were on or near Earth. She would never wonder who her daddy was. He kissed her on the forehead and softly closed her door.

 

Their bedroom smelled like Seri. Her perfume and soap mixed with a smell that was distinctly her. It smelled like home to Len. He opened the door to the veranda; the sound of the rain as it began to fall softly over the peach grove relaxed him. Everything that he loved, everything, was under his roof tonight.  How many of these nights would he have? He was going to enjoy these nights while he could. All of this was bitter sweet.  But in the end, it was all going to work out for the best.  He leaned on both of his hands on the railing as he looked out across the land. Soft hands found their way around his waist as his lover leaned her front against his back. One of his hands left the railing and covered both of hers. Her head leaned against him. “I’m okay Peaches.”

 

“I know. I just thought you might want some company.”

 

He turned to face her. “Only if it is you. I don’t want to talk tonight. All this family ever wants to do is talk.”

 

“Your mother is a psychologist, and your sister is a therapist; also, they are both women. Of course, they want to talk.” She was joking, to lighten the mood.

 

“Please don’t talk to me about what just happened. I know it had to happen, but it doesn’t have to make me happy.”

 

“I know baby. I know you aren’t happy, but I can also feel your confidence in the decision. We won’t discuss it if you don’t want. I need a shower. What about you?”

 

“I’m going to hang out here a little.  I won’t be long.”

 

“Take your time.” She gave him a quick kiss and headed in.

 

Seri was amazing. She knew he needed his space and didn’t push him. Len wanted to make sure he didn’t take that for granted. Who was he kidding, some day he would take it all for granted. But he adored her and that would never change.

 

He turned his attention back to the peach grove.  It was time to do the second harvest, maybe they could pick some of them tomorrow. Lord of the manor, isn’t that what Ginny said he acted like? Maybe he was, but he didn’t see it the way she did.  To Len it meant that he was responsible for all of this; for Sarah and Jake’s income, for the employment of the farm hands and the seasonal help, for the maintenance of the agriculture and the livestock, for the maintenance of the family home, for the family legacy. This was good; he would make sure all was taken care of before he went back to San Francisco. He would make his grandparents and mother proud of him.

 

When he came in the lights were out and Seri was already in bed. The shower was relaxing and gave him more time to think about the woman in his bed. Len crawled slowly under the covers, they were soft and inviting. Seri was asleep; her breathing was slow and steady. “I love you Seri. I know this isn’t what you thought you signed up for. I know this might not be what you want. None of this fits who you thought I was, what you thought marriage to me would be. I am sorry, but I am responsible for all of this, for all of them. You may not want to take this on. I just pray that if you don’t you’ll leave soon and break my heart now.  The longer you take the worse it will be.  Thank God you’re asleep. I could never say this to you if you were awake.” He closed his eyes and started to drift off.

 

Seri opened her eyes. “This is our life Len. I am not going anywhere. No matter what the future holds, we are in it together. We are both responsible for all of this.  I love you with all of my heart and soul. I have known I was in love with you for months.  This may not be what I signed up for, but I did sign up with you. Remember like I said, we are in this together, partners for life.” She kissed him and snuggled close as he pulled her in tighter. This was heaven.

 

Lena couldn’t fall asleep as she and George laid in bed. “Talk to me baby. I know that scene in the den had to be hard on you. I want to be here for you Lena. Please let me.”

 

“I know you do George. I’m just not use to having someone support me. Until now, I’ve been in this all alone.”

 

“You aren’t anymore. Tell me what you are thinking.”

 

“Ginny is gone. I doubt I’ll ever see her again. As horrible as she can be, she is still my daughter. I didn’t want to lose her, but I guess you can’t lose something you never really had. Can you?”

 

“If you want her back, I’m sure Len could be persuaded to get her back here. He loves you enough to do that.”

 

“I know. But he did the right thing. I know he was thinking of Jo. I know that. I can’t ask him to bring his sister back around his baby. No, I can’t do that. She can come back when he isn’t here if she wants to, but I know Ginny. She won’t be back. She doesn’t love anyone but herself.” Tears streamed down her face.

 

“Do you want to go to her. I can take you if you want.” To see her like hurt him to his soul. He was angry with Ginny for creating the situation. He was angry at Len for… He wasn’t sure why he was angry with him, but he was. Len had thrown his sister out, and that caused the woman he loved pain. But Len had given his sister an opening, she was always welcomed to come see her mother. His anger with Len wasn’t logical. George knew he would have to get past it. “Lena, whatever you want, I’ll make it happen.” He pulled her into his arms and let her cry it out.

 

“I think I just need to come to terms with what I have always known. Ginny never gave a damn about me. I tried, I really did, but David killed my relationship with her. He turned her against all of us. He led her to believe that we were all stupid, that only the two of them were worth anything. She left us years ago. I just couldn’t admit it until tonight.” She held on to George as tight as she could. “I’m proud of Len. I saw a side of him tonight I didn’t know existed.”

 

“He grew up this week. He was always a good person, now he is a strong man as well. You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

 

“I will always worry about him. I just won’t worry about him getting walked all over, not after tonight. I think David’s ghost is finally exorcised from this house. Now we can all move forward. Part of me just wishes Ginny could move forward with us.”

 

“Maybe one day she will. If she grows up I bet Len would give her a second chance.”

 

“He would. I just can’t spend my days hoping for that, waiting for it. I can’t handle the disappointment.”

 

“I know baby. You have a beautiful family under your roof tonight. You are blessed Lena, you truly are.”

 

“I know that. I love you George.”

 

“I love you too. Good night baby.”

 

“Good night.” They fell asleep in each other’s arms. As she drifted off she thought about asking George to move in with her.

 

Jim had fallen asleep soon after he got into bed. Callie locked the door to the hall in both the bedroom and the sitting room soon after she heard him lightly snoring. Jo usually woke up around 7:00 and Callie didn’t want her rushing into what may not be the best scene. She knew enough to know that the night would entail nightmares and her most likely lying with Jim in his bed.  She had opened the door to the veranda. The storm was coming from the west; therefore, the wind would not blow into the room.  The rain started to come down harder and the sound as it beat on the metal roof lulled her to sleep.

                                                                    

It was only an hour before Jim started to talk in his sleep; it woke her up. Truthfully, she wasn’t sleeping that deeply. She was on edge; he couldn’t stay asleep all night. She picked up her pillow and blanket as she quietly made her way into his bedroom. He turned violently from side to side and argued with someone who wasn’t there, with a ghost. Callie dropped her bed things onto the couch and softly padded her way over to the bed. “Jim, Jimmy? Jimmy, it’s time to wake up now. You’re safe, wake up now.” She knew better than to touch him. He wouldn’t mean to hurt her, but he would most likely strike out at whatever ghost touched him. “Jim, Jim I’m here. Wake up.”

 

He jumped up, his heart pounded, sweat poured down his chest. “Go away! Leave me alone! I didn’t do anything wrong! Why won’t you leave me alone? Please don’t, I’ll be good, I promise. Don’t touch her!”

 

“Jim, it’s Cal. You’re at the McCoy farm in Georgia.” Callie sat on the edge of the bed. She could barely see him through the dark. “Lights 20%. Jim, look at me. I need you to see me now.”

 

He turned to her. “Cal?”

 

“Yes. I’m here. It’s just me Jimmy.”

 

“He was here? He was coming for you and Jo. He said I was bad and he was going to make me pay. I would watch him as he hurt both of you. I couldn’t find anyone to help.”

 

“Who was here?”

 

“Frank, he was here. He had you and was looking for Jo. He wanted to do to her what he had done to me.” His breathing hadn’t slowed and he couldn’t stop the shaking.

 

“Jim, it was a dream. Look at me. I’m safe. Do you want to go see Jojo?” He shook his head. “You are safe. You aren’t that little boy anymore. Talk to me. Tell me anything.” She stood and walked around to the other side of the bed. After the covers were turned down, she crawled under them with him.

 

“What are you doing? Your brother is going to kill me. Callie, you can’t do that.”

 

“Got your attention. He isn’t going to kill you. Can’t you lay down with a woman and not fuck her?” Jim snickered. Callie wanted to break his train of thought.  She wanted him to stop living in the nightmare. She needed him here with her. “Jim, in all seriousness. You shouldn’t be alone tonight.”

 

“What about Jo? What about if she comes running in tomorrow morning? I don’t think I want her to know about tonight.”

 

“I locked the doors.  She’ll pounce on Len tomorrow morning. This isn’t your first nightmare is it?”

 

“No.”

 

“Do Len or Seri know about them?”

 

“Yes, both of them do.  They have both helped me through some pretty bad nights. And, before you ask, they have both tried to get me to see a therapist. After Tarsus IV I am done with all therapists. Honestly I think the therapists made things worse.” He felt comfortable with Cal; more than that, he felt safe with her. Maybe it was because she looked at him the same way her brother did. Maybe it was because he sensed she really cared. Maybe it was because he needed this; needed to be near someone who wanted nothing from him.

 

“I could see that. You know something I learned during my Master’s studies? The patient should never be smarter than the therapist.  Something tells me you ran rings around those people. Am I right?”

 

“They were idiots. Asking how I felt, could I tell them what I was thinking.  One tried to act like she was my friend. All she wanted was to be known by her colleagues as the one who got close to the famous kid. They all wanted a piece of me. Something to hang on their wall.”

 

“Well I don’t want that. I don’t give a shit what you are, only who you are.”

 

“And who is that?”

 

“Jimmy, just Jimmy. You are Len’s best friend which says a lot about you. But you already knew I thought that. To me you are a sweet, kind, intelligent man who can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Want to know something else?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“I think I like the pain in the ass.” She laid down.  “Come here.” Her arm stretched towards him. “For tonight I’ve got you. Tonight, I’ll keep you safe. I’m a good shot. No one can get you if I’m here.” He got back under the covers and moved into her embrace. The smell of the rain came in from the other room and he could hear the rain on the roof.

 

“Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.” Jim jumped up and ran into the sitting room. He closed the door to the veranda. As he reentered the bedroom he opened the door to the veranda before he came back to bed. The rain did bring cooler air with it, rare as that was this time of the year. “I like the sound of the rain. It is calming. Is it okay with you? If not, I’ll close it.”

 

They laid on their pillows and faced each other. “I’m the one who opened the door in the other room. I always loved the rain. When I was little the thunder would scare me. Len would tell me it was teddy bears in the sky bowling.  That helped during the day; but at night, if I was alone, I would be terrified. I would run into his room and hide under the covers. Len would hold me and keep me safe all night. Dad said it was wrong, that I shouldn’t be in his bed. I remember mom telling him he was sick to think that way, and that Len would always keep his baby sister safe. I didn’t understand what they were saying, but when I was old enough to understand I realized what mom meant. He hated that Len was my hero, that he loved me. Now thunder reminds me that I have the best brother in the universe.”

 

“Cal come here.” He held his arm out to her. “I’ll hold you and we’ll keep each other safe. How does that sound? Lights off.”

 

She moved into his arms. He felt like home to her. She never had that with any of the men in her past. None of them made her feel as secure as Len had. Now she realized that was the feeling she had been longing for her entire adult life. They may never be lovers, but Jim would definitely be home to her. “Jim, you need to know something.”

 

“What is that?” His head rested on the top of hers.

 

“Iowa isn’t your home, not any more. Frank was never your home, but we are. No matter where you go, this will be here for you. Home is where you are always safe, and where you can always be just you.”

 

“Mama thinks I’m going to do great things in my life; that everyone will know my name. But, she told me that here I will always be Jimmy. I don’t know about doing great things, that may be a bit optimistic; but, I do know fame isn’t real. Here everything is real. Thank you for that.” He started to chuckle.

 

“What’s so funny?”

 

“We haven’t even known each other an entire day, and look at us.”

 

He could feel her smile. “I know. And before you ask, no I don’t do this, at least I haven’t done it before. Good night Jimmy.”

 

“Good night Cal.”

 

The thunder rolled through as the rain continued to dance on the roof. The sounds helped keep Jim asleep most of the night. He only had a couple more bad dreams, and neither of them were as violent as the one that brought her to his bed had been. She had kept him asleep during the one after that, but the next one startled him awake. Callie rubbed his back until he relaxed. Slowly he fell back to sleep. She watched him sleep as she drifted off.


	26. chapter 26

 The morning light streamed through the windows. Jo woke up quickly, it was going to be a great day. Daddy was here, and so was Aunt Callie. She ran out of her bedroom to Callie’s. No one was there. Aunt Callie never gets up this early. She must have had something to do. Uncle Jim must still be in bed; both doors were locked. That left only daddy’s room and grandma’s room to go to.

 

Len and Seri were still asleep when Jo jumped on the bed.  “Daddy! I was going to leave you alone and wake up Aunt Callie, but she wasn’t in her room. Her bed was made, so I guess she had something to do. What do you think Daddy? Do you think she will be here today? I want to go to the pond, or maybe to the old church. Can we do that Daddy?”

 

Len had been in a deep sleep when the tornado jumped on the bed. It took him a minute to focus enough to hear her. “Turtle, give me a minute. You are talking at 50 miles an hour, but this early I can only listen at 30.” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as Seri sat up. “Now Turtle, tell me again what you wanted.” Len had begun to feel human.

 

“Daddy, I couldn’t find Aunt Callie.  I don’t know where she is, but I think she got up really early because her bed is already made.” Len knew Callie never made her bed, and unless she had to she didn’t get up early. No, Callie didn’t wake early, but she did go to bed late.

 

“It’s okay baby. We can all go down to the old church. Aunt Seri hasn’t seen it yet. Then we can go for a swim. Can you go to the chicken coop and get a dozen eggs?”

 

“Sure Daddy.  It may take a little bit.  I have to get dressed and brush my teeth first.”

 

“Jo, it will take your dad and I a little while to wake up and get dressed. We’ll meet you downstairs.”

 

“Okay Aunt Seri.”

 

“Munchkin, did you take a shower last night?”

 

“No Aunt Seri.”

 

“Alright, then take a quick one after you get the eggs. Daddy and I will meet you in the kitchen after we get ready. How does that sound?”

 

“Sounds great! I love you Aunt Seri!”

 

“Love you too baby.”

 

Jo ran out of the room. They heard her door close. Len figured they had about an hour before Jo would be in the kitchen waiting for breakfast. “Seri, is Callie where I think she is?”

 

“Yes.” They went into the bathroom and brushed their teeth.

 

Len was pissed. He thought he could trust Jim with his baby sister. “Damn. Can’t he keep it in his pants for one fucking night.”

 

“For what it’s worth I am sure that didn’t happen.”

 

“Callie, she needs to learn to keep her damned mouth shut.”

 

“Yeah, like that is going to happen. They both feel calm. I think this has been a good trip for Jim.”

 

“Maybe, maybe it will be good for all of us.”

 

“It definitely has been for you.” She walked over to him. “Last night was a revelation.”

 

“Not least of all to me.” He kissed her hard as he pinned her hands behind her back. “I want you. Ginny said I acted like the lord of the manor. Time for me to really act that way.” He locked both of his doors and came back to his fiancé. “Follow me.” He led her to the couch in the sitting room. “Take off your clothes.”

 

Seri was enjoying the game. She undressed quickly as she watched him. There was nothing like the site of Len as he took off his shirt.  All of his muscles stretched tight showing off his chest and abs. After he was completely naked his situated himself in the middle of the couch. His eyes never left hers as he began to stroke himself. “Suck on your fingers like they are my cock in your mouth.” She did it slowly as she took a step toward the front of the couch. “Rub your clit with those fingers.” Slowly she massaged her clit and stared deep into him.

 

She tried to keep eye contact, but her gaze continued to stray down his broad chest and tight stomach to his hand as it stroked his hard, thick, cock. He had begun to tan. The time in the Georgian sun melted away the Starfleet tan, it was giving way to a real one. The darker skin made his eyes seem greener, brighter. She could feel her walls begin to contract. Nothing too hard, she wasn’t that close yet. “Stroke faster. Make yourself cum.” She moved to sit next to him. “No, keep standing.” She started to rub her clit harder and faster. Her walls started to spasm harder as her knees started to buckle. How could she do this and remain standing. Her head threw back as she started to cum.

 

“Stop, stop now.” She couldn’t believe he wanted her to stop. Fuck! “Come here.” His legs had come closer together as he held the bottom of his cock. Seri took him into her and immediately her walls clamped around him. “Not yet baby.”

 

Seri wrapped her legs around him as she slowly started to ride him. His arms pulled her close and he began to kiss down her neck and over her shoulder. “I love you Len. More than I think you know.” His head rested against her chest. This was the best part about making love with Seri.

 

There had been more than a few women in his past. Women who knew what to do to turn him on. Joce had been good in bed. Sex was the one thing they never argued about. But none were like Seri. He was a part of her, and she of him. Joining together wasn’t merely a physical act with her. Sure, the mechanics were the same, but the feeling was completely different. Every time they were together like this he was lost in her. Love wasn’t a strong enough word to describe how he felt. “I love you Seri.” He moaned into her chest as she circled her hips. _“Please don’t ever leave me. I don’t think I could survive.”_

_“I can’t leave you. I can’t live without you.”_

He stopped moving. “Why were you in my head.”

 

She could hear the irritation in his voice. “Len, I can’t control that when I am like this. I can’t not be in your head. Is that a problem?” Seri had never talked to him about the loss of mental control the closer she got to orgasm. It was something that those in bonded pairs took for granted.

 

“No sweetheart, it just took me off guard. I’m sorry.”

 

She rolled her hips slowly. “Don’t be. I think I want you to do something for me as lord of the manor.”

 

“What is that?” He looked up at her trying to read her face.

 

“I think the lord of the manor needs to make the lady cum. I want to cum with you this time. I want to feel you release with me. Fuck me Len."

 

His hands slipped to her hips as he helped her move up and down his shaft. She ran her hands through his hair until he hit her spot. Her head dropped forward as she pressed her forehead to the top of his head. She could see where they joined. The view was stimulating; her juices flowed down to his legs. “Fuck Seri, goddamn. I want you to cum for me.”

 

 She could see his cock as it moved in and out of her. Her moan was low and insistent. He loved that sound; no one got to hear it but him. He was close, his control almost entirely gone. How hard could he thrust into her? What would it take to make her scream? “Fuck me Len! Make me cum! I want you to fuck me as hard as you can!” With that he moved his hand between them. His fingers barely touched her clit when she exploded screaming into his shoulder. With that Len couldn’t hold back. He thrusted into her as hard as he could as he clenched his teeth. His moan echoed through the room as shot himself into her. All he could feel was her, her love, her adoration. All she could feel was him filling her not just with his cum, but with all that was him.

 

He pulled her close to him as their sweat mingled. She melted into him as he drank in the smell of her. “Len, I think I am in love with the lord of the manor.”

 

“Very funny.” He was still inside her; he didn’t want to move, but he knew he had to get a shower. “Where is Jo? God, I hope she didn’t hear us.”

 

“She didn’t. I felt her go out to the coop right after I started to ride you. She was playing in her room before that. You need a shower, or you’ll be stiff all day, and not in the good way old man. I’ll get one later. Jo may come in soon; also, I like you in me all day.”

 

“But I’m not in you all day.” He slid her off his lap gently. “I wish I could be, but it might be hard to walk. I mean…Oh.”

 

“Yep. Never told anyone this, but it is a turn on all day for me.”

 

She reached up to touch his cheek, but he took her hand and kissed her palm. “I need to get a shower.”

 

“I’ll get dressed. I heard Jo come in.”

 

He headed to the bedroom as she unlocked the doors. “Damn, with hearing like that I need to stop muttering under my breath.”

 

“Might not be a bad idea.” Her butt wiggled as she moved past him to the dresser.

 

The shower turned on and steam poured out of the door. Seri threw on a robe and grabbed his PADD. She had his passcode, actually they all had the same passcode. It made things easy for all of them. Four seats were booked for the next transport to Betazed. She could always get a fifth if Callie wanted to go, but she needed to get this done. There was a transport in four days. They would take a shuttle to the transport ship moored at the docking station past Neptune; then take the transport ship to Betazed. According to the information she received, it should take around thirty-two hours. They had a three-bedroom cabin on the ship. It would make things easier if they were all together. She sent a message to her dad with their arrival time and place. 

 

Jo could be heard running up the stairs. Didn’t that child ever walk? Jo’s bedroom door shut loudly. Seri reasoned she had about twenty minutes to get cleaned up, and get some clothes on. Len could take his time, she would make breakfast with Jo.

 

It all would begin today. They may not get married until later, but after these few days, they were completely bonded. They had begun the bond soon after that day in the coffee house, but this week made them one. Not all Betazoids entered into a bond of souls. They may have loved each other, but to bond on this level was rare. She and Len couldn’t help it; without even trying they had become one.

 

It was a jean and tee shirt kind of day. Seri laid out a fitted grey henley, dark blue jeans, underwear, and socks for Len. It was easier than waiting for him to make a decision about what to wear. She had on her socks, jeans, and bra when the door to the bedroom burst open. “Jo, you should knock before coming in.”

 

“I’m sorry Aunt Seri. You have to come with me. The chicks have hatched. I cleaned up the shells already. Aunt Seri, they are so cute. Maybe dad will let me keep one as a pet. I think one of them is a silver laced Wyandotte.”

 

Seri threw her shirt on. “What makes you think that baby?”

 

“Well one of the hens that grandma uses for breeding is a Wyandotte, and our rooster is a Wyandotte. I like them. They are usually nice.”

 

“Okay, you should ask your daddy when he is done his shower.”

 

“Will you come with me please Aunt Seri?” Her eyes looked so much like Len’s when she wanted something.

 

“Okay Munchkin, but let’s eat first.” Seri followed Jo down to the kitchen. Jim and Callie were both still asleep. She would talk to them about the trip later tonight.  

 

Jo stared to wash the eggs. “How many should I wash?”

 

“How about five. The rest can stay in the basket on the counter.”

 

“I didn’t know you knew anything about farms. Do you have chickens where you grew up?”

 

“No, but I did some reading. I always liked farms. When I was little I wanted to live on one.”

 

“Now you get to forever! Can I tell you a secret? But you can’t tell Daddy.”

 

“Sure, what is it.”

 

“I love Uncle Evan. I don’t want Daddy to feel bad about that. I still love Daddy the most, but I love Uncle Evan also. Do you think Daddy would mind?”

 

“No Turtle I don’t mind.”

 

“Daddy! I didn’t hear you.” Seri knew he was on the stairs, but she wanted to hear what Jo had to say.

 

“Baby, I am happy you love Uncle Evan. I know he loves you very much. You know something?”

 

Jo walked over to her dad; he scooped her up. “What Daddy?”

 

“Love doesn’t get smaller when you give it away, it gets bigger.” He tried to figure out how to explain love to an eight-year old. “I know he loves you. Do you think that makes him love your mommy any less?”

 

“No.”

 

“So, you know I love your Aunt Seri, right?”

 

“Yes Daddy.”

 

“Do you think that means I love you any less, or that you are any less important to me?”

 

“No Daddy.”

 

“Then why would I mind if you love Uncle Evan? He is a good man and I like him.” She threw her arms around his neck.

 

“Aunt Seri, can I tell you something else? Daddy can know about this.” Len put her down and walked to the pan rack.

 

“What is it baby?”

 

“I love you, and I love Uncle Jim too.” She hugged Seri around the waist.

 

Seri always wanted a family. Children were important to her. Now she had a daughter, even if she wasn’t biologically hers. One day she and Len would have children, but no matter how many they had, Joanna would always be their daughter. She never thought she could be this happy. Even with all that had happened that week, she had never felt more loved and at home. This little girl made it all complete.

 

Seri stooped down until they were eye to eye. “I love you Joanna. You are my best girl. And I want you to know that no matter what I will always love you with all my heart.”

 

“Even when you and Daddy have a baby?”

 

“You are still my baby, no matter what. Joanna, that will just mean that your family got bigger and so did our love.” Joanna was enveloped in her embrace. “When you are older I can teach you a trick that will only be for you and me. Would you like that?”

 

“What trick?”

 

“We will be able to talk to each other with our minds. Almost like magic.”

 

“Really?! Can Daddy do that with you? How about Uncle Jim?”

 

“They can. They can even read my thoughts when I’m not talking to them in my mind, I am not sure we will be able to do that. But we can try. Anyway, I will be able to read your thoughts if you want me to do that.”

 

“Wow! That could be fun!”

 

“We’ll try when you are a few years older. Okay?”

 

“Yes!” 

 

“Turtle, can you let the dogs out?”

 

“Sure Daddy.”

 

She went to the front door. It wasn’t long before they heard her calling the passel of dogs. “Peaches, I think you just made her day. I hope she will be able to read you the way Jim and I do.”

 

“She might be able to read my thoughts the way Jim does, but she won’t be able to read me the way you do. We need to talk about that later. Oh, I booked our flight, it is four days from now. I got us a cabin with three bedrooms.  I thought it would be easier this way. Do you think Callie will want to come? I can change the reservation.”

 

“I doubt she will. She wants to move back here. Knowing her, she’ll want to get her stuff here as soon as possible.”

 

Len started breakfast. He knew how everyone liked their eggs; Seri liked hers over easy, Jojo wanted hers scrambled, and Len liked his sunny side up. The orange-yellow yolks looked like the sun as it shown over the fields during the summer. Replicated eggs never looked like this. They also didn’t taste the same. He was going to miss real food.

 

Breakfast ended. They had all decided to take a look at the old church after they went to the chicken coop. Jo wanted her daddy to see the new babies. Len was thinking of renovating the church and he wanted to know what his girls thought. It wouldn’t take long. Though he thought the time at the coop may take longer than he first thought. Jo seemed too excited.

 

Maybe everyone else will be up by the time they got back. He needed to talk to Callie. She needed to know about last night, and he needed to know what went on with Jim and her. He knew his sister, she would easily find everyone one of Jim’s buttons. Len didn’t want her to push all of them yet. She had just met the poor kid; better to leave some of them for later.

 

Lena and George had decided to go into town. He needed to grab his PADD from the office, and she wanted to check on the furniture order. They heard Len and Seri talking to Jo. The little one was getting a lesson in love that few children ever did. But, they knew the little princess was smart enough to understand what her dad and future step-mom were telling her. His craft was quiet, almost silent. No one would realize they had left.

 

Jim laid in bed. He had woken up when Jo slammed her door.  It had been a long time since he had woken up with a woman in his bed, Seri didn’t count. He was careful to have all of his sexual encounters at their places. That way he could be gone before they woke up. It saved him the conversation that would inevitably come after a night together. He didn’t want to get that close to anyone. He had Len, Seri, and Mama. He didn’t need anyone else; except, he did.

 

What was it about Cal? He had been asking himself that since the minute he met her. He wanted her in his life. He wanted to open up to her. Why? She was beautiful, but that wasn’t it; there were a lot of beautiful women in Starfleet. She was brilliant, but again there were plenty of intelligent women in his classes. She was strong, finally most of the woman at the Academy were strong. Why Cal?

 

Her hair had spread across the pillow, and a little bit of drool was puddled on her pillow. Jim had never seen anyone or anything as beautiful. He couldn’t think this way. This was Bones’ baby sister. He could be her friend, but that was it. Maybe he could add her to the list of those he trusted. What would Bones say. He would be alright with them being friends. He had to be.

 

Callie started to wake up. “Good morning Sunshine. I think everyone else is up and gone.”

 

“Shit! What time is it? Time.”  The holo-clock shone over the fireplace, 10:00. “Well that isn’t good. I thought I would have woken up in time to get back to my room. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to Len.”

 

“I’m not worried, and I’m glad you were here when I woke up. Thank you Cal, for everything. I guess I needed last night.” He turned on his side to face her. “I’m glad we met. I hope we can stay friends.”

 

“Why wouldn’t we? Jimmy, I don’t have many friends. I treasure those I have. Not many people can keep up with me. Please tell me if I am, as one of my boyfriends said, running all over you. I don’t want to do that, especially not to you. I like you; I feel safe with you.”

 

“Come here Cal.” She crawled into his arms. “I doubt you could run all over me. I’m not that weak, or slow. I want to get to know you as well as you know me. Does that bother you?”

 

“No, but it scares me. There is only one person in this universe who knows everything about me. I’m afraid to let anyone else in.”

 

“Mama?”

 

“No, but she comes close. Len, he knows absolutely everything. He never judged me, not like dad. My brother is the only man who ever really loved me unconditionally. Uncle George does, but not unconditionally.”

 

“I think your uncle loves you a lot. I know what you mean about Bones. When he loves, he loves with all of his heart. I don’t know what he sees in me, but I am grateful he sees something. He and Seri are the only real friends I have. Mama is different, she’s Mama. I think he and Seri love me unconditionally. After everything I have put them through this year, I’m almost positive they do.  Maybe one day Mama will as well.”

 

“She will. I can tell you have definitely won her over. Mom has a gift, she can tell someone’s character within an hour of meeting them. She said that after she married an ass, she made a study of personality traits.  I think she just developed a sense of survival. She would never let anyone like him near her again.”

 

“Why didn’t she divorce him?”

 

“It wasn’t that easy. He would have taken her children. His parents wouldn’t have been able to stop that. Grandpa and Grandma made sure she had a good life.  They always loved her. Most of her family were dead and her sister lives in Texas. I think my grandparents support helped. Plus, there was us children, and later her job. She didn’t exactly mourn him when he died. Did you know my grandparents sent her back to school? I think she didn’t want to leave her family just to leave him.” Callie’s thoughts were disjointed, but Jim understood what she meant.

 

“We should get up. Could you show me the rest of the farm?”

 

“Sure. There is a swimming hole not far from here if you want to go there. Len thinks no one goes there but him. He doesn’t know I go there when I’m home. He needed a place that was just his. I think he could share now that we are all grown up.”

 

“Cal, there is one problem with that idea, I don’t have swim trunks with me.”

 

“Neither do I.” Jim’s mouth dropped open. “Don’t look so shocked blue eyes. We can swim in our underwear.” It was fun to shock him. Callie guessed that few people were able to shock James Kirk. It didn’t take long for them to get ready and head down to the kitchen. “Let’s grab some food before we head out.”

 

Jim threw some sandwiches together as Callie grabbed drinks and a bag. “How many acres are farmed?”

 

“I don’t know. We can ask Len when we find them. He knows every inch of this place.”                   

 

“Maybe we can go over that later.”

 

“Still that farm boy deep down Jimmy?”

 

“I guess. Let’s go.” They headed to the swimming hole. Jim didn’t have anything like this back in Iowa. Funny he didn’t think of Iowa as home anymore; it was simply the place he grew up.

 

All of their clothes, except their underwear as Jim hastened to point out, were left by the side of the pond. “My dad hated this place. He said it was dirty. Mama didn’t care she let us all come down here when we were little. I learned to swim here when I was about five or six.”

 

“I thought this was Len’s special place.”

 

“Not till he was a little older, when he needed to get away from Dad.”

 

He splashed her in the face, laughing to the sounds of her screams. “Nothing serious for now. Not here, this place is for fun.”

 

“Okay! You asked for it.” She jumped on him and futilely tried to push his head under. Their screams could be heard all the way to the house.

 

Len and Seri walked to the old church with Jo. It was a small white structure that sat back on a trail from the cemetery to the middle of the woods. Jo opened the doors that seemed to open to another world, another time. Ivy grew up the outside walls; as they walked through the doors, Seri could see where some of it had found cracks in the masonry. The inside walls were white with ivy climbing them from the cracks. The sun shown through the stained glass and danced over the walls with colors of blue, red, and yellow.

 

To Seri, Len felt wistful. He loved this place, but it brought a tinge of sadness with it. His mind wandered as he looked around the room. “What do you think Peaches. This was the place my grandpa would take me when one of us needed peace. When I was little it didn’t mean that much. After I started medical school, it meant a hell of a lot. When I lost my first patient I came here to try to make sense of it. I could hear his voice tell me that you can’t save all of them.”

 

“Something you still have trouble with. Close your eyes. Can you hear him now?”

 

He closed his eyes. “No, but I can feel him. He is with me. I think he is proud of the man I have become. Do you think I’m stupid for thinking he is here?” He opened his eyes and looked at her for an answer.

 

“No. I think he is always with you. Not just in spirit, but in here as well.” She put her hand on his chest. “You take him with you wherever you go.”

 

“Thank you for that. May I ask you something?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“I know you want to get married on Betazed, but after that could we have a ceremony here as well?” She looked around at the ivy and the dead leaves on the floor. “I’ll get it restored before that.”

 

“What makes you think I want to get married on Betazed? I want my dad to walk me down the aisle, but I don’t have any other major ties to that planet. I could always get the few people that mean anything to me to come to Earth. Most of them like to travel.”

 

“I thought your mother and sister hated to go off planet.”

 

“They do.” The glint she had in her eye reminded him of Jim. “That is just an extra perk. Seriously Imzadi, I would love to get married here. Could we have both Betazoid and Earth music?” He kissed her gently.

 

“Of course. It will be your day. My job is to show up at the right time and place, sober.” It was good to hear him joke again. “Let’s go. I was thinking of having a bonfire on the back forty before we leave. Would you like that?”

 

“It sounds like fun. I’ve never done anything like that.”

 

“Oh, it will be an eye-opening experience. Half of Taccoa will probably show up, and they go on until the sun comes up. Guess I should do it on Friday since we leave on Sunday. Come on Turtle lets go find your missing aunt and uncle before they get into trouble.”

 

It wasn’t hard to find Jim and Callie. The noise level from the pond could have rivaled Jo on one of her most excited days. “What the hell are you two up to? You sound like a couple of howler monkeys.”

 

“Bones, this is the best pond ever! Did you know that if you push your sister in front of the stream, not only can’t she fight back, but it pushes her to the other side?”

 

“I am aware. Are you aware that you just used your last pair of underwear to go swimming?”

 

“Shit! Sorry, shoot.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll go throw a load in.”

 

“Daddy, can I stay here with Aunt Callie and Uncle Jim?”

 

“If they don’t mind, then I don’t either.”

 

“Come on Munchkin. Jump in!” Jim extended his arms.

 

“Take off your jeans, shirt and shoes first young lady.”

 

“Yes Daddy.” She quickly tore off her clothes and jumped in. Jim grabbed her and started to toss her to the other side of the pond as Len and Seri began their walk back to the house.

 

This was perfect for Seri. After all that happened last night she hadn’t had a chance to give Len his necklace. She wanted to do it when they were alone. And they needed to have a talk about what had been happening to them. “Imzadi, do you think we could sit on our veranda after we get Jim’s laundry started?”

 

Len could feel her, she was nervous. “What’s wrong Peaches?”

 

“Nothing, I just need to talk to you about something, and I have something for you.”

 

“Okay. Just give me a few minutes to get the laundry going.”

 

“Why don’t you start the washer? I’ll get his clothes and bring them down. I’ll do all of ours on Saturday.”

 

They went in. Len to the summer kitchen where they had relocated the washing room, and Seri to Jim’s room to get all of his colored clothes. Thank the four deities he used the hamper. Once everything was started they went up. Len had grabbed two lemonades from the kitchen; he placed them on the wicker table between the two couches on the veranda. Seri grabbed the box from her purse, and hid it in her hand before she joined him on the larger of the two couches.

 

“Okay Peaches, what’s up? You feel nervous.”

 

“Did you hear what you just said? That is part of it.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I haven’t been letting you read my feelings. As a matter of fact, I tried to block you from doing so. I wanted to see if I could block you. I can’t.”

 

“I don’t understand. Why can’t you?”

 

“There is something in Betazoid culture called bonding. It is rare, almost unheard of really. When two people bond it is usually done consciously, to have it happen organically is the rarest form. Honestly until this past week I thought a full organic bond was an old wives’ tale. After today, I can tell you it isn’t.”

 

“Still not following you.”

 

“Okay, let me try to explain how it works. Damn, this is worse than explaining sex.” He snickered at her feeling of awkwardness. “It can only happen if two people are in love. That is the first thing to understand. It has to be a deep romantic love. It is believed that the endorphins released at the beginning of the relationship begin the bond. I thought I felt it start, but that isn’t rare when you start to fall in love. On the other hand, what I have been feeling this past week is on an entirely different level. Our souls have touched, bonded. I guess that is the best way to explain it. If soul doesn’t work for you, then let’s say our essences have come together.”

 

“No, soul works for me. Is that what I have been feeling?”

 

“Yes. You want me in you when we make love, and I am more than happy to be there. But what that has done is joined us on an entirely different level. I shouldn’t have allowed it to happen, but as I said I didn’t think it was real. May people do what we did. Most of the Betazoid women I know enter into the man when they make love. None of them have bonded completely. There is something about us that caused this to happen.”

 

“What does this mean? What happens now? Can we never be apart? Do we have to be near each other at all times?”

 

“Certainly not! No, it just means that we are joined spiritually for life. You will always know what I feel and I will always know what you feel. I think distance may play a part. If you are too far away, I’ll know you are alive but I won’t know what you are feeling. I’m not completely certain about that. I think we can train ourselves to block our emotions, but it will take a great deal of discipline. Also, if we aren’t careful it maybe that we can’t block each other’s thoughts as well. I need to read up on that. This is only documented between two Betazoids. It has never happened between a Betazoid and an Earthling as far as I know. But then this being completely organic may make it an even stronger bond than those I have studied.” He was staring at her silently. “Please say something, anything.”

 

Gently he leaned in as he cupped her cheek in his hand. His kiss was soft, almost tentative. He felt calm, at peace. “I love you Peaches. I have known it for longer than I wanted to admit to myself. There is nothing wrong with this. I could feel how scared you were to tell me.  I didn’t have to reach out to feel you. I guess we are married, even if we haven’t had the ceremony yet.”

 

“This is more than married. We are one. I hope we will be able to control it more as the years go on.”

 

“Why would we want to? I love this.”

 

“We may want to if we are working together.”

 

“But not when we are home. Promise me that at the very least, when we are here we don’t have to control it.”

 

“What if we can read each other’s thoughts? I know you don’t like that.”

 

“When we are here, I don’t want to have my guard up. If that is part of it, part of what makes us us, then so be it. I really don’t mind. But I think you are right if we are working together we should try to control it during that time.”

 

“We’ll pick up some material on it when we are on Betazed. Oh, one perk. When a bonded couple is communicating telepathically, no one else can hear their communications. Not even the strongest telepath can break through that barrier.”

 

“We get to have our own little world to which no one else can have access?”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“I think I’m going to love this. It’s called bonded?”

 

“Yes.”

 

 “This explains so much.”

 

“I have something for you. Close your eyes and hold out your hand.” He did what he was told. She placed the small box in his hand. “Open them.”

 

He recognized the box. “You’ve been to see Mrs. Hancock.”

 

“Just open it. Jo helped me.”

 

He opened the box. The talisman shown on the black velvet. She could see tears in his eyes as he slowly drug his fingers over the hourglass. “Peaches, how… This is beautiful. No one has ever given me anything like this before.”

 

“Well, I don’t think they are particularly common.”

 

“No, I mean no one ever gave me anything just because they were in love with me. I was never that special to anyone. Thank you. Could you put it on me?”

 

She moved to sit behind him as he removed the necklace from the box. “You are my universe.” Gently it was placed around his neck and secured. She placed a kiss on the back of his neck. “I love you Len. This is the beginning of a whole new life for you. I want you to grab at it with both hands.”

 

“Seize the day, I don’t think I have a choice. After this week everything is different; I’m different.” Her arms wrapped around his neck as her head rested on his shoulder. “I hope I can make this all work. It is a lot: father, son, brother, lover, doctor, student, lord of the manor.” A soft smile crossed his lips as he placed his hand on her Seri’s arms.

 

“At least his lordship has help. Her ladyship will always be there to help him.”

 

“God, I hope so.”

 

“Now we are one. You will never have to take on all of this by yourself. We should go in. The laundry must be done by now. It will need to go into the dryer before we do anything else.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

“Just trying to help you keep all of the balls in the air.” As they headed downstairs Seri realized she had no idea what went into a bonfire. “Len what do we need for tomorrow’s bonfire?”

 

They transferred the clothes to the dryer and headed back into the main house. “I’ll call a few of the guys from town and see if they want to do this. Trust me the answer will be yes. I’ll let Joce and Evan know also, she won’t miss a good bonfire. Usually the gang will bring the food and alcohol. Trust me there is a lot of both. We supply the fire. I usually don’t let it get over a few feet tall to start. But the idea is to keep it going all night. So, we’ll haul a shit ton of wood down to the area and make sure we have enough to take us through the night. As the host I won’t have a lot to drink, and I’ll tend the fire. I also make sure there are fire extinguishers around. The whole thing is officially over when the sun starts to come up.”

 

“Sounds like fun! I won’t drink much either. Maybe just a beer. I’ll help you with everything. Do kids come?”

 

“In the beginning, then they all have to go to bed while we all stay up. The downstairs will be set up to take them. There are only about seven children including Jo.”

 

“I’ll take care of getting the sunroom ready if that is okay.”

 

“I’ll leave that up to you. Let me see if this is going to be a go.” Len left and contacted a couple of his cousins and some of the guys from town. Now they just needed to wait for the answers. He would tell Jim and Callie after he they had definite plans. “We should go rest. The three reprobates will be at least a couple of hours. Callie loves the swimming hole. She thinks I don’t know that. I guess I never cared that she would go there when I wasn’t around. But it was always my pond, not anyone else’s.”

 

“Now this entire place is yours. I mean it was before, but only on paper. Now it is completely yours.”

 

“No, now it is completely ours Imzadi. Let’s try to get a nap in while the clothes dry.” They headed up to their room. A nap would help them especially if the rest of the day would be spent putting together the bonfire.

 

As he drifted off Len tried to process all she had told him. Bonded for life. It sounded amazing, but what would it mean as the years went on? Would the bond cause pain as well as pleasure? Probably, but it also meant that nothing could come between them. The one thing he would always be able to count on would be her love.


	27. chapter 27

Len followed a couple of steps behind Jim as they walked to the brig. He preferred to walk behind him, it showed his deference to Jim as captain. The entire fleet knew that they considered themselves brothers, because of that Len felt it important to show those around that he knew his place. Jim may be his little brother outside of work, but on the job, he was Len’s superior.

 

_“Peaches, remember that pact we made years ago?”_

_“Which one? There were a few. The one where I stop being such a bitch when I’m scared, tired, or sick? I thought we both gave up on that one”_

_“The one where we work to keep out of each other’s heads unless we are at home, where we block each other’s thoughts no matter how difficult it is?”_

_“Yes, I vaguely recall that one. Why?”_

_“Smartass, I’m being serious.”_

_“Yes, I remember.”_

_“If it is okay with you, I want to throw it out. I never want to block any of your thoughts or feelings. I want you with me at all times.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yes. Please Seri, I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do it anymore.”_

_“Done. I won’t block if you don’t. Things that I am ordered not to reveal and information concerning patients still need to be blocked. Also, gifts are not a part of this. I’m still blocking surprises.”_

_“Fair enough. I’ll do the same. I will block patient information and anything I am under orders not to reveal. As for surprises, I agree. Don’t want to be too predictable. But absolutely nothing else.”_

The brief levity didn’t fool Seri. She could feel how scared he was. He hadn’t felt this scared since Jim died. Now that fear was back. It had started on the bridge when he first saw Dardrok, and hadn’t subsided. Only she knew this. Only she knew how the fear almost paralyzed him. He was going to the brig for Jim. It was only for Jim. Jim didn’t know how terrified Len was. He couldn’t know, could he?

 

_“Jim, please keep an eye on Len. He is terrified. I know he isn’t showing it right now, but the fear hasn’t gotten any better.”_

_“I know Kiddo. I’m not letting him out of my sight. Now I need you to do something for me. There is a picture of Dardrok’s family on your PADD. The Admiral said they would send it as soon as I got off.  I need you to put a picture of his little girl in his head.  I need him to see her safe in his arms, safe with her family. Can you do that?’_

_“You know I can. Jim where is this going. Please don’t ask me to do anything unethical. No matter how much I want to, I won’t do it. I won’t destroy him.”_

_“I would never ask you to do that. I just want him to see his daughter laughing and happy. The rest is up to me. Nothing you do will hurt him either physically or mentally.”_

_“I can’t do it if it will allow you to do harm. You need to tell me what you are going to do, why you want this done.”_

_“Seri, I would never do that to you. I thought you knew that about me.”_

_“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just want to destroy him, turn his dreams into nightmares. I don’t want to just plant a picture of his daughter happy and safe, I want him to watch her face melt off as he holds her in his arms. That is the thought I want to plant. I need you to make sure I don’t do that. Help me Jimmy. Tell me that I am still a doctor after I do this.”_

_“You are. I won’t let you do anything to compromise the oath you took. I want him to feel peace. I thought his daughter happy and safe would do that. I want him calm and off guard. Then I want you to read his thoughts. All of them. Bones is going to come in after Dardrok is calm and thinking I am an idiot. I want you to tell me everything he is thinking the minute he sees Bones.”_

_“You are going to have to be in there at least a half an hour before Len can walk in. Then he needs to walk in as if he is in charge of the situation. Like he is there to work. I know Dardrok fears what medical personnel can do. He fears it, because he has done it. He fears Len and me more than he fears anyone else on this ship.”_

_“Really? That is interesting, and extremely helpful. Let me know when you plant the thoughts.  I want him primed before I walk in.”_

_“Give me about ten minutes.”_

_“I’ll give you twenty. I need to talk to Len.  Do you know what he is thinking?”_

_“Yes, always. But I can’t tell you.  You will need to talk to him. Jim, I cannot betray that trust.”_

_“And I would never ask you to do that. I just need to know if he can’t do this. I need to know, doesn’t matter when, if this is becoming too much for him. I know Len. He won’t tell me. He would destroy himself to help me.”_

_“Like you would to help him.”_

Jim began to feel more like Captain Kirk to her, and less like Jimmy. _“Let me know when you plant the thoughts.”_

_“Okay. I’ll reach out to you when it’s done. Jim, I know what you would do for us, and I do know you would never allow me to compromise myself. I’m sorry.”_

_“It’s okay Kiddo. I know how scared you are. I don’t need to feel you the way Len does to know how scared you are. By the way, you haven’t been blocking your feelings very well these past few hours.”_

_“Sorry about that. Right now, I can’t seem to control it the way I normally can. I really am sorry.”_

_“Don’t be. Seri just stop trying. I think, at least for now, we need to be there for each other, no barriers. What do you think.”_

_“Thank you. I would like that. I love you Jim. Just in case I haven’t told you.”_

_“Nope, never heard you tell me that.”_  His was smiling as he led Len into the waiting room across from the brig.

 

“Okay Kid, why have you insisted I come here?”

 

“Kid, you haven’t called me that in years. I missed it. The admiral wants us to see if we can get more out of the asshole. I have Seri putting beautiful pictures of his daughter in his head. I sent a message to Sulu, he will be bringing a carchek here. Seri will let you know when you can come into the brig with me. When you come in, I want you to act like you are in charge. You don’t need to say anything, just look at him the way you look at the new doctors. That is enough to scare anyone. Also, put the plant on Cupcake’s counter. I want Dardrok to have a clear view of it.”

 

“Why do you still call him that? Chief Hendel is your head of security.”

 

“Habit, and I like him. I want Dardrok completely off balance. Seri will be reading his thoughts the entire time. I’m hoping thoughts of his daughter will weaken his mind, that will help us gain access to deep seated thoughts. Some of those might hold military or intelligence secrets. The admiral is waiting for our report once we finish. Len, if you can’t do this believe me, no one will think any less of you.”

 

“Will you be there with me.”

 

“Yes. I won’t leave unless you tell me to leave. And no matter what, Hendel will be there. I doubt I could get him to leave you.”

 

“Alright, what do you want from me? I’ll do whatever you want.”

 

“He is afraid of you. I like that.”

 

“I doubt he fears me.”

 

“Not according to Seri. According to her, he is afraid of both of you. He is afraid that you will do to him what he did to you.”

 

“That won’t happen.  I need to be able to live with myself when this is over. Jim?’

 

“Yes.”

 

“You aren’t going to allow her to do anything to him, are you? You know how she can get. I don’t want her to do anything that could change her. I don’t want her destroyed.”

 

“I would never do that. I couldn’t do that. And I won’t use her memories as a set up to destroy the prisoner. I don’t want anything to haunt her in the future. The Federation just wants as much information as possible.”

 

“Okay. Jim, I’m scared.”

 

“I know. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

 

“No, I need to do this. I need to gain control of this. When are you going in?’’

 

“When Dr. Targan tells me I can. She has this. For the most part she will be in charge of this.”

 

“So, we just wait?”

 

“Yes. She said it would take her about ten minutes. I told her I would give her twenty.”

 

Seri opened her PADD. Jim had it brought to her in his ready room. There were pictures of Dardrok’s daughter. She was a happy child, much like Joanna had been at the same age. The pictures showed her with her family near some purple lake, and on an animal that must have been the Mylan answer to the Earth horse. There was a picture of her holding a carchek. She looked proud of herself. The picture must have been taken a few days ago. How had they managed to get it? She knew that was information she didn’t need to know, though she was sure she knew the answer.

 

Her eyes closed as she reached for Dardrok’s mind. It took only a few seconds to enter it. Planting the memories took under five minutes. He was asleep. It made it easier. He would register them as dreams, but when he woke, the dreams would remain as thoughts. He was dreaming about the chamber that he held Len in as he tortured him. Seri fought the urge to put his baby on the table. The dream was slowly turned into a family outing at the lake. She layered the dream so that as time went on memories of her on her animal, or with her plant would come to the front of his mind. They would play over and over for a couple of days. It was one of the easiest manipulations Seri had ever done.

 

_“Captain, it’s done. He is asleep. Give him at least ten minutes to let everything cement in his psyche. The memories will play repeatedly for the next three days. I hope that is what you needed.”_

_“You did perfect doctor. Would you mind coming down here. I would like you to sit with the CMO while he waits to go in. From here you can take notes on what Dardrok is thinking.”_

_“Yes Captain. I am leaving now.”_

The door to the waiting room opened a few minutes later. Seri carried the PADD with the profile of Dardrok on it. It would be easier for her to keep all of the Mylan information on one PADD. Len sat at a long meeting table with Jim. Their thoughts and feelings were not shielded anymore.

_“Hi Peaches. Jim seems to think we are going to find out a lot more about the Mylans. Seri, you are the only one who knows how scared I am. I want to keep it that way. I want this over as soon as possible.”_

_“I know. There is more to this than either of us know. I have a strong feeling Jim knows a lot more than he will say. I need to concentrate on Dardrok once Jim leaves, but you know I am always with you.”_

_“I know. I can’t wait until this is over.”_

_“Neither can I. I can’t wait till we are back on Earth. How long has it been?”_

_“Not since Kahn. It was nice to be home while Jim healed. I know Callie enjoyed it. Remember, they gave her leave to stay with the heroes of the Federation? That was a laugh. But I guess it worked out for her.”_

_“We need to talk about our careers after this.”_

_“I agree Peaches.”_

“Captain, he is primed if you want to go in now.”

 

Jim got up to head to the brig. “I’ll reach out to you when I need Bones to come in.”

 

“Yes Captain.”

 

Not long after Jim left Sulu came in with the tiny plant. “Please be careful with my baby. It took a lot of tries to get one to thrive. Why does the Captain want this?”

 

Seri answered. Len was afraid to speak. He needed all of his concentration to contain his feelings. “We will take good care of your baby. Hikaru, are Ben and Demora on Earth?”

 

“Yes, they headed back not long after we left Yorktown. They are in San Francisco by now. Why?”

 

“Just wondering if they would mind a trip to Georgia once we get back.” Her eyes shifted quickly to Len then back to Hikaru.

 

“I think it could be arranged. Demora loves it there. Last time Jo gave her some riding lessons. Maybe we could do a bonfire. We could all use the release.”

 

“True. You know Mama and George would love to see you all. We have the room.”

 

“Thanks, I’ll contact Ben before we dock.” He left to go back to the bridge. The Pegasus had arrived and the Mylan ship was positioned between the two vessels. Sulu didn’t want to miss any action that might occur. If they were to pay for what they did, he wanted to be a part of it.

 

_“Seri, are you in his mind?”_

_“Yes. He is still thinking about his little girl. You should start talking about something unrelated to her. Ask him about his position in the military. That should pull his mind into two different directions. If you do that, I can go in deeper, find out what is under all of the extraneous crap.”_

_“Got it. I know you figured out the Federations little secret. I want you to know that none of them were anywhere near where we were when Len and the others were taken. They were on a completely different land mass.”_

_“Thank you for that. I know I am not in the loop and I am okay with that, but it is nice to know that they weren’t considered expendable.”_

_“Far from it. The CMO and chief navigator of the fleet’s flagship are definitely not expendable. We are in, but the more information we have the better. We didn’t see this coming, even with our intelligence. That can never happen again.”_

_“Got it. Once you start, so will I. I’ll send Len in when I think it will throw him off enough for me to gain complete access. Is that okay? I know you were going to tell me when to send him in, but I think this might work better.”_

_“That works. I just want to know everything that that ugly head holds.”_  Jim turned his attention to the creature in front of him. “Open the cell.”

 

“Yes Captain.” With that the force field fell, and Dardrok woke.

 

“Did you have a nice nap?”

 

“It was adequate.”

 

“You have eaten?”

 

“Yes. Your people have taken good care of me.”

 

Jim sat on the built-in seat across from Dardrok. “You and I need to go over a few things.”

 

“Captain, you can’t possibly think that I would tell you anything of any military significance.”

 

“No, I thought we could talk about your educational background. We have certain educational standards for our doctors and therapists. I wanted to understand what the Mylan standards were.”

 

Dardrok began to tell Jim about the education he had to go though to get where he was. He saw nothing wrong with telling him about the educational standards of Mylus. He told the captain all about his time at university; but in his mind, he could see Kainill in her classroom. She was starting a very strong foundation to be as successful as her mother. No matter what he told the captain, his mind stayed on his daughter. The time on this ship must have been having an effect on his psyche.

 

Seri was deep in Dardrok’s mind. She couldn’t believe all she was getting, but there was more. “Len, head in. I need him thrown off.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“It is okay if you can’t. Imzadi, you don’t have to do this.” She could feel his fear. It would do no one any good if he undid all the work they had done these past few days. “Please Len, don’t force this.”

 

“I’m not.” He stood up. “I need to do this. I need to take control. Don’t worry, I know I can leave if I can’t handle it. But Seri, I need to handle it.”

 

“Okay. Just know I am always with you.”

 

“I know that.” He picked up the plant and headed to the brig. He paused outside of the door for a couple of minutes. He could feel Seri, and Jim was in there; he could do this.

 

The door to the brig slid open. Len made sure Dardrok saw the plant in his hand. He placed the plant on the counter as he turned to the security chief. “Here is that plant you asked for.  If it isn’t big enough there are a few more. I can grab one later.”

 

Len exchanged looks with the man. “No Doc, its perfect. Thanks.” Hendel wasn’t as dumb as many people thought. He used to seem less than intelligent, but that was simply because he was more reactionary in his youth. After almost a decade, he had become subtler.

 

“Captain.” Len walked into the cell and leaned against the wall next to Jim. None of the abject fear he felt registered on his face. _“Seri, can you let Jim know that I am not going to say anything. I think Jim was right, just staring at Dardrok will be worse than if I say a word. What do you think?”_

_“I know you are right. He is not able to block any of his mind from me. That happened as soon as you walked into the room. I’ve got him.”_

She let Jim know what Len was planning. Jim told her that Len just leaned against the wall and folded his arms. As soon as that happened the Mylan showed fear. Jim may not be empathetic, but even he could tell how scared the prisoner was.  S _eri, how much do you have?”_

_“Please keep him talking. You won’t believe all I’m getting. Give me at least thirty more minutes.”_

Jim brought up the subject of vacations and nature on Mylus. That kept Dardrok occupied for another half hour. “Ok, that is all we need. Doctor, you are with me. Dr. Dardrok thank you for the information. I will let you know what the Federation decides.”

 

Information, what information? Dardrok knew,  nothing he said could possibly have given the captain any information. Who cared about what education was needed to become a therapist, or what camping in the Azor park was like? None of this was illuminating in so far as military intelligence was concerned. No, he had given them nothing. They must be trying to get him to panic. That would never happen.  He would close his eyes and Kainill was there. Her smile gave him something to hold onto, something to aim for. He needed to get home.

 

Jim and Len walked into Seri frantically entering all she learned onto her PADD. “Jim, I’m almost done. You are going to love this.” Once she finished she handed the PADD to Jim, and sat back. He wasn’t going to believe what she found.

 

“Seri, is this all true. Nevermind, I know it is. How many have they planted?”

 

“The numbers and names are on the last page. I also have where each mole is residing and working. Oh, and there are four double agents. We need to start sending them misinformation as soon as possible. I believe they had a lot to do with what happened on Mylus.”

 

“What the fuck! I know this one. He is a cook on the Melbourne. I see why they wanted Len. He would have been…”

 

“The jewel in their crown. Yes. None of the people on that list could have gotten them the military information they wanted without raising more than a few red flags. None of them worked with anything to do with military intelligence, even the one on the Melbourne was only a cook.”

 

“I need to get this to the admiralty.”

 

“Captain, a few on that list are peripheral administration in the admiralty offices. You need to call the admiral on a private and secured line.  Nothing through the usual channels.”

 

“Got it. I need the two of you to go to your quarters until further notice. We will be heading back to Earth with the Mylan ship. The Admiralty wants the ship. They’ll meet us closer to Saturn and the Reliant will join the Pegasus to take control of the ship and dock it off of Jupiter. We will go straight to Earth. There we will have a debriefing and then R&R.”

 

Len was having a hard time processing all that was happening. “Why aren’t we taking them in? Why aren’t we staying with them?”

 

“Because they have people who will take that ship apart. The crew will be returned to Mylus, but the ship is ours. After all we have found out, we have the leverage to do so. I believe that when investigations are concluded, we will find out that the people on this list are not on innocuous fact-finding missions. There is nothing innocuous about what they are doing.”

 

“What about our personnel on Mylus. I don’t see how we can explain them.”

 

“Bones, our people really were only there to get information before we entered into an alliance with their government. We wanted to know more about the society. None of them were anywhere near sensitive information.”

 

“And do you really think they won’t say we were there to destroy them.”

 

“That will be hard when we get information from their double agents. No, this is going to happen very quickly. We did what we were supposed to do. We tried to set up relations with their government. When they became hostile, we stopped them and extracted enough intelligence information from one of their top officials to bring down their entire spy network. We saved the Federation. It took all of us, but we stopped them.” Jim left them and headed to his ready room. He would talk directly to the admiral. She would be happy with what Seri found, it was all the leverage she would need to end this threat.

 

“Len, lets go to your room.” She could feel him, he was starting to lose control.

 

The room stayed dark when they entered. “Lights 20%.” Len went to the sideboard and poured himself a drink. “Do you want one?”

 

“I think I need one. Len, I wouldn’t have done it, at least I don’t think I would have.”

 

“But you don’t know.”

 

“No, I don’t. I wanted to have him see the nightmare for the rest of his life. Jim wouldn’t allow it. My orders were explicit, only good memories.”

 

“I remember the last time you were like this. I can’t save you this time. I can’t pull you away.” He didn’t want a repeat of Betazed. It was a side of her he didn’t know existed until that day. He hoped never to see it again.

 

“I know. You won’t lose me. I promise. I’m past it now. I got enough on them to destroy everyone involved.”

 

He handed her the drink. They sat on the opposite ends of the couch facing each other. “That is what I still don’t understand. If they had all of those operatives, why kill Pavel? They had to know what our bodies could endure. Was it just a game to them?”

 

“No. None of the operatives were human. Most are humanoid, but no humans. They needed a test subject.”

 

“How can you be so clinical about this? How can you dismiss it as a simple experiment? I can’t be that cold.” His fear was turning to anger.

 

“Would you prefer it if I curled up in a ball and sat in the corner?” She finished the glass and went to pour another. For days she had been desperately trying to hold it together, to keep the fear from spilling over, to keep the anger in check. Now the fight was all but lost. “Should I have laid catatonic on Jim’s couch instead of staying with you while you were being tortured. I couldn’t block all you were feeling, would it have been better if I had lost control? Should I have just sat there crying, screaming? What the fuck do you want from me? What can I do for you?”

 

The glass went flying across the room before she realized what she had said. Fuck! She never wanted him to know that. Without a word she all but ran out of the room. She needed to get away before she said anything else. He could read her thoughts, but this was worse. This was all she had hidden. This was who she was when fear took over.

 

Before she could get around the bend in the corridor Len grabbed her arm. “Please don’t do this. Come back home. Please Imzadi, I didn’t mean it.”

 

“Yes, you did. Remember, I can feel everything now.”

 

“Then you know how scared I am. Please Seri, I can’t lose you.  I feel like everything is slipping away. I just want to talk.”

 

They walked back to his cabin. “Len, I am sorry. I didn’t want you to know that. I never wanted you to know what happened to me when you were on Mylus.”

 

“I always knew that this could happen. Not the torture, but the fact that being bonded could mean great pain for both of us. I’m not stupid. I just prayed the distance would mean you couldn’t feel the pain. I really fucked you over didn’t I?” He could feel her, the fear and anger had started to subside, regret and self-loathing taking their place. “Don’t do that.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“I can feel you too Peaches. None of this is your fault.”

 

“No, but I was an asshole. None of this is your fault either. I need to watch my mouth.”

 

“We both do.”

 

“I’m not cold Len. I just need to keep this all clinical if I am to be of any use. Please don’t think I didn’t feel anything during this. Jim has been taking the brunt of my emotions. I need to stop leaning on him.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He needs to be Captain Kirk. He can’t do that if he is being Jimmy with me. He needs no distractions until we dump the Mylans at the Jupiter station.”

 

They both sat on the couch, but this time she sat up against him as he pulled her into his side. He could feel her, she wanted to cry. It wouldn’t take much for the tears to start. “I’m not going anywhere Peaches. I love you, temper and all.” He felt her begin to shake. He wanted her to break. She needed the release. Dardrok had been a distraction, but the distraction was now gone. “When we get home, we can go for a long ride to the old church. I think we both need the peace.”

 

Seri couldn’t hold together anymore. This wasn’t like what happened after she led his dream. That was a side effect of someone else’s trauma. This was because of her fear. What if she had lost him? What if they had turned him? What if they had miscalculated and he died? What if the torture had broken him psychologically? All these thoughts had been in the back of her mind for days. Now they were there and she couldn’t turn them off. “Len, please don’t let go of me.” She turned and buried her face into his neck. The sobs wouldn’t stop as he held her.

 

His hand held the back of her head as he made soothing sounds to calm her. “It’s okay baby. We will get through this. I know it was hard on you. I’ve got you.”

 

She could still feel his fear, but his concern for her was overtaking it. She was being selfish. None of this was about her. It was about him, all about him. What the hell was wrong with her. “Len, I’m sorry.” The sobbing hadn’t subsided. She tried to stop it. That made it worse. She clung to him as if he were the only thing keeping her alive.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You are right, I was the one tortured, but you were with me. Even without our bond, you would have been with me. This was hard on you. Please don’t ever feel you feeling this way is selfish. You feel this way because you love.”

 

“I couldn’t lose you. What if I had lost you?”

 

“You didn’t lose me.” He buried his face in her hair as he brought her closer. “A wise woman told me I shouldn’t fixate on things that didn’t happen. She was right. You couldn’t lose me Imzadi. No matter what happened I would always be with you. Shhhh, I’ve got you.” Slowly she began to calm.

 

They needed to get to Earth. It would all be better once they were on the farm. Seri didn’t know it, but Spock had contacted her father. He would be at the farm by the time they got there. Mama was contacted. She had made arrangements for all of the bedrooms to be made ready. Spock had assumed they would all be there. All eight bedrooms would be prepared. Sarah and Jake were concerned, making the house ready was the least they could do to help.

 

Jim spent over an hour on the comm. with several of the admirals. By the time the conversation was concluded, arrangements had been made to take every one of the Mylan operatives into custody at the exact same moment. That would eliminate the possibility of the Mylans warning them, and having them escape. “Lieutenant Uhura, report to my ready room.”

 

In less than a minute Uhura appeared through the door. “Yes sir.”

 

“I need you to block all transmissions from the Mylan ship.”

 

“Already done. I blocked them as soon as Dardrok came on board. They have been trying to send messages to their home world. Would you like a transcript?”

 

“No, but the admiralty will. Do they know their communications are not getting through?”

 

“No, I sent a communique to their ship stating that though the Mylan command was receiving their message, it was difficult to send transmissions to their ship. I have been sending non-committal messages to them after they transmit. I believe they think help is coming. I know you didn’t order this, but you were busy. I hope I didn’t overstep, Captain.”

 

“Lieutenant, you really are the best there is. What you did showed a great deal of forethought. Thank you. After the next transmission, let them know that the Mylan fleet will rendezvous with them near Earth. That way they will have no idea what is happening until they are being boarded near Saturn. It will be easier if they are completely compliant on the journey there.”

 

“Yes Captain. Jim?”

 

“Yes Nyota?”

 

“How are you doing? I know everyone assumes you are handling this well, that you are okay.”

 

“Not everyone.”

 

“We know you.” She walked closer to him and kissed him on the cheek. “If you ever want to talk, just come to me. I won’t push, but it could help. Jim, I know everything that happened down there.” His eyes snapped up to meet hers. “Len needed to talk, and I am a pretty good listener.”

 

“Thank you. This will all get better when we get back to Earth. Spock and you are coming to the farm?”

 

“Yes. Spock called Mr. Targan. He will meet us there. It will be a full house.”

 

“Mama will be in all of her glory.”

 

She laughed softly. “She will. All of her ‘children’ under one roof. Sulu got Ben, they are going to the farm as well.”

 

“That will help Len move past this.”

 

“And you, it will also help you. I have to get back to work, but I just wanted you to know that I love you, and I am here for you.”

 

“We sure have come a long way since that bar in Iowa.”

 

“We definitely have.” She turned on heel and went back to her station on the bridge. The Enterprise was a rarefied command. The senior officers saw themselves as family. He would ask Scotty to come to the farm as soon as he saw him; the whole family had to be there. They all took care of each other.  No other crew in the fleet had their cohesiveness. He doubted any other one would.

 

Funny how it all started that summer. They grew up, grew closer than he ever imagined he could be to anyone. He loved his home almost as much as Len did. For Jim it was safety. So was Cal. He needed to talk to Len before they got home. Jim relaxed on the couch.

 

Spock was handling the return to the Jupiter station. Unless something went unexpectedly wrong, he could spend this time relaxing. He could feel Seri, she was scared and angry, but he also knew Len had her. He needed this down time if he was going to be any use when they docked. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, his dreams were of home, of that summer.


	28. chapter 28

 

When they woke up from their nap Len noticed the PADD was blinking like a Christmas tree. Everyone was coming to the bonfire. There would only be four children, all Jo’s friends. The rest of the families got babysitters for the night. Everyone wanted to party. They knew this would be the last McCoy family bonfire for at least a few years, and no one wanted to miss it. “Peaches, this is definitely going to be an eyeopener for you.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Did you ever hear the term ‘dirty south’?”

 

“No.”

 

“Like I said, an eyeopener. This is a night of drinking, eating, dancing, music, and sex. Don’t worry it isn’t an orgy. The field back there doesn’t have much grass on it just red earth, makes it perfect for a bonfire. But the friends of mine that are coming are the reason I called it the dirty south. We grew up with the music and culture that definitely personifies that term. It started centuries ago with a certain type of classical rap music. It is the opposite of the aristocratic and Dixieland cultures of the old south. I know this all looks gentrified, and it is, but this is us as well. Not all of my friends have money, or are highly educated, but they are all hard working, good people. Many of us went to school together, spent our summers working on the farms during the day, and swimming at night. Most of us got drunk or baked for the first time in that field, hell most of us got laid for the first time in those woods. We were always covered in red dirt and sweat. What we had we worked for. My family may have had money, but I sure as hell didn’t. I had to work for anything I wanted. Our parents and grandparents made sure we understood what hard work and community was.  Anyway, most of them will be here tomorrow night.”

 

“They sound like a lot of fun. I hope I fit in. I know Jim will.”

 

“He definitely will. They will love you. Honestly I think some of them are coming just to get a look at you.”

 

“They know about me?”

 

“I doubt we pulled out of Taccoa before the word got out around town that Lenny was getting engaged. Hell, most of them knew I was asking you to marry me before you did, and you are telepathic. Small town hotline we call it.”

 

“If I am pregnant, do you think they’ll let me know?” She was laughing.

 

“Don’t know, but I bet they know before you do.” He kissed her before they headed down stairs to the sunroom. He started to make a list of all the things they needed to do before the first guest got there. “I’ll get Jim to help me with the wood. I don’t want you and Callie lifting that much. Could you two move the chairs and tables down to the field? We have a flatbed craft that would work well. It isn’t going to rain tonight, so we can get it done today if you want.”

 

“Sure. It would be better, so we can sleep in tomorrow and not be dead tired. Len?” They sat on the overstuffed, sage sofa.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Are any of your ex’s coming?”

 

“Joce is definitely coming, Ann is coming with Rob, Kyle is bringing Lizzy, Geoff is taking Claire, and Chris is coming with Jenny, Mark is taking Rita, and I think both Mary and Careen are between men so I doubt they will bring anyone, but I neither of them will leave alone.” A look of shock came across Seri’s face. “What?”

 

“And you make fun of Jim. As your future wife I would like to know if you slept with any, or all of them.” She had a smirk on her face.

 

“Not all at the same time. Though Mary and Careen were a fun night.” His eyes held the same glint Jim’s got when he was messing with her. “Does it bother you?”

 

“No, I have four in my past. All of them will be at the wedding. And before you ask, they are all married with kids. There is the idiot mom keeps trying to set me up with. Trust me when you meet him, you’ll find it funny. I don’t care who had you before, only that I am the only one to have you as long as we are both alive. Plus, I like that you got practice in before we met.”

 

“So, neither of us fell out of the rainbow. That’s good. I’ve stayed close to a few of them and their husbands. I delivered Ann’s youngest daughter, and Claire’s little boy. We almost lost Ann with the second one, she was in an accident. Her uterus ruptured. I managed to save her and the baby, but I had to preform a hysterectomy. Telling Rob about the hysterectomy was hard, but he was just happy he hadn’t lost his wife or child. I had known him most of my life, but that was the only time I ever saw him cry. Telling Ann was harder. It took her a long time to move past it, but holding little Lenora helped. They are amazing parents. Rob wanted me as the godfather. He doesn’t have any family except for his sister. His parents were killed when we were teenagers, and Mama practically raised both of them. I assume doctor, you know not to discuss this.”

 

“Of course I do. I thought that went without saying. I didn’t know you did OB.”

 

“I don’t. Ann was obviously a trauma situation and I was the trauma surgeon on call. Geoff and Claire have been close family friends since we were born. Her OB was there, but they wanted to have family do the delivery if it was possible.  It was an easy delivery. She is having their second child in a few months. He is Mr. and Mrs. Hancock’s son, she was a Hatfield. No cracks about the Hatfields and the McCoys. Claire is Rob’s little sister. So, my best friend growing up was a Hatfield. The entire school found that funny.”

 

“I bet. Jim is going to have fun with it. Are you still close?”

 

“Not as close as we used to be. Hopefully that will change. I miss him. He and I will never be the way Jim and I are, we are too different, but I need to make more of an effort to keep him in my life. He tried for a long time, but with Dad, and then the divorce, I just shut everyone out. I need to make that right.”

 

“You have tomorrow night. I have a feeling he’ll understand.”

 

“I hope so. You and Jim will like him. I wonder where the trio are.”

 

“They are finishing up at the pond. I can feel them, they’ll be here shortly.”

 

It wasn’t long before they heard the three banshees come in through the back door. Without getting up from the couch Len yelled toward the backdoor. “Dry off before you come in. I don’t need to hear it from Mama.”

 

“Bones, do you think I was raised in a barn? Don’t answer that.”

 

Callie walked into the sunroom still drying her hair. “Sis, I contacted everyone about a bonfire tomorrow night down on the back forty. So far, I haven’t gotten any regrets.  The cousins are all coming, so I am expecting a very long night.”

 

Cal looked around. When she was sure Jo was no where around them she turned back to her brother. “Rory coming?”

 

“Yep.” His grin reminded Seri of a kid getting ready to get into trouble.

 

“I’ll get the pipe and grinder. This is going to be a fun night.”  She ran out to grab Jim. He needed to be prepared for the night. Seri was Len’s responsibility.

 

“Um Len, pipe and grinder?”

 

“Yeah, Rory is a farmer of a different sort. He is a pot farmer. He said at least what he does isn’t illegal, unlike some of our ancestors. Most of what he produces is for medical, but about thirty percent is for recreational. It nets him a tidy profit. I haven’t been totally baked since before the divorce. Have you ever tried it?”

 

“Yes. Hikaru introduced me. Surprised you didn’t get baked during the divorce.”

 

“No, I just staid drunk most of the time. Not completely drunk, but definitely buzzed.”

 

“I get that. Oh, this is going to be an interesting night.” She wasn’t an innocent, none of this was surprising to her. “I’ll get Callie to help me with the tables and chairs.”

 

“Seri?”

 

“Thank you for this.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Helping with this. I know it is a lot of work.”

 

“It will be worth it if I can get Jim baked.” Len realized he just gave his fiancé a toy. I was going to be fun to watch her play, though he doubted Jim was a virgin.

 

“Thank you anyway. I know you weren’t expecting to be the hostess to a blowout party when you left the Academy.”

 

“I also wasn’t expecting to be asked to be the next Mrs. McCoy. But that was an amazing surprise.” She stood to go get Callie.

 

“Dr. McCoy.”

 

“What?”

 

“Not Mrs. McCoy, Dr. McCoy; I don’t want you to lose your identity when we get married. If you take my name then you will be Dr. McCoy. But if you want I could take yours. I know that is the custom on Betazed.”

 

“No, I want to take yours. I have many reasons for it. But it all comes down to us all being one family.” She turned toward the window as she was getting ready to leave. “Len who is that?” There was a man walking slowly up the drive toward the house.

 

“What the Hell? That’s Rob. He never just shows up.”

 

“Len, he is upset and embarrassed. I’m going to disappear.” With that she gave him a quick kiss and left to find Callie.

 

Len headed out the front door and down the porch steps to meet Rob. Gritts was close behind him, the pecans the squirrels knocked out of the trees could be heard as they crunched under his feet. “Rob! God, its good to see you.” Len reached out to embrace his friend.

 

Rob embraced him quickly then took a step back. “Hey Len. It’s good to see you too.  Ann says hi. She’s at home with the girls.” Rob looked disheveled: his tee shirt stained with machine oil, his jeans ripped with red dirt ground into them, light brown hair peaked out from under an old ball cap, a two-day growth of beard covered his square jaw, and his brown eyes looked dull, almost lifeless.

 

“Rob, what’s up? And don’t say nothing. You were never good at poker.”

 

“Yeah, it’s not the only thing I suck at. I won’t be at the bonfire tomorrow.”

 

“Why? I know I haven’t been the best friend these past few years. I have no excuse except to say I can be an ass. But you should come. Everyone will be here.” They walked to the porch. Len noticed a pitcher of lemonade and two glasses on the table.  _“Thank you Peaches.”_

_“Not a problem. I’m up with Jo. She wants to pick out some outfits for our trip. Cal is with Jim. They wanted some time to talk.”_

_“Oh, that’s great.”_

_“Knock off the sarcasm, it is great.”_

Len took a seat and poured them both a glass of lemonade. “Have a seat. Rob, talk to me. You have never missed a bonfire. “

 

“I can’t face everyone. They don’t know yet, but they will soon. Someone like you would never understand.”

 

“Understand what?”

 

“Complete failure. Top of you class at Hopkins, second in your class at the Academy, you have no idea what it is to fail at anything.” His hands were folded as he looked at the porch floor.

 

“Are you kidding. I crawled into a bottle for over a year, I ran the fuck away from my failures rather than face them. On top of that, now I’m divorced and live a continent away from my daughter. I came here to face what I had done, but I couldn’t do it by myself. None of us can do the hard things without help. I’m just now finding that out. Not exactly the brain trust with that one. So yeah, I’m no stranger to failure.”

 

“Even Ann doesn’t know. I didn’t know how to tell her.”

 

“Tell her what?”

 

“We are going to lose the farm.” Len was careful not to show the shock he felt in the pit of his stomach.  “Remember a few years ago when the recent return of weevils took my entire crop. I tried everything, but they were resistant to the insecticides we were able to use. I burned the entire crop to get rid of them, and treated the soil so they couldn’t winter. Luckily, they did not destroy anyone else’s crop. I managed to eradicate them thank God. Problem is I used the equity in the farm to take out the loan for the equipment I needed for the harvest. When the harvest and a good deal of the plants had to be destroyed it ruined me. I have been using the harvest from the remaining plants to try to pay back the loan, but I can’t do that and keep food on the table.  I’ve been working for Jake, but even that isn’t going to save me. Len, I really fucked up.”

 

“No, we can work through this. You don’t think I would let my family go under.”

 

“I don’t want your charity.” He seemed angry, but Len knew better. Rob wasn’t angry, he was humiliated.

 

“It isn’t charity. You didn’t call it charity when we bought half the buildings in Toccoa. The reasonable rent has kept the town going.  It wasn’t charity. It was the right thing to do. Everybody wins.”

 

“At least the town does.”

 

“No, we all do. They can continue to do what they love, and care for their families. I have some passive income. See, win, win. So, tell me how my working with you would be charity. Would you mind if I involved Jim Kirk in our conversation? He has a great deal of experience with farms. He understands situations like yours more than I do.”

 

“I guess. I have nothing more to lose, do I?”

 

“Yes, you have everything to lose. No matter what happens here, you need to tell Ann. She loves you and is a great partner. Let her be there for you. One thing this week has taught me is that there is nothing as important as a life partner and soulmate.”

 

“I know. I just didn’t want her to be disappointed in me.”

 

“She won’t be. Let me go get Jim. Please just wait here.”

 

“Okay.” He took the lemonade, Mama made the best lemonade in the county. He would wait to see what Len and his friend had to say, but he would not take a handout.

 

Len ran up the stairs. He wanted to get Jim before Rob changed his mind. “Jim!” He started to knock on Jim’s door when it flew open.

 

“What’s wrong!”

 

“Sorry, nothing is wrong. I need your expertise. Can you come downstairs?”

 

“Expertise in what?”  Ginny came in from the sitting room.

 

“Hey sis. Rob and I need to go over the prospect of a farm investment. I just thought Jim might have some ideas given his background.”

 

“Not a problem Bones. Seri said something about she and Cal moving tables and chairs after she helps Jo start packing. I guess I have some time before we start moving the wood.”

 

“Yeah. He is on the front porch.”

 

Jim headed down with Len but stopped half way down the steps. “Bones, what aren’t you telling me.”

 

“He is losing everything.  Jim, he and I were close growing up. I let him down these past few years. I don’t want him to feel he is a charity case, but I don’t want him to lose everything either. His family has owned their land longer than my family has owned this farm. The 500 acers that his cotton grows on used to be a part of this plantation before the American Civil War. His family, the Hatfield family, bought it from the Johnsons about ten years before the war started. Their cousins and our cousins were a part of that big feud in the West Virginia, Tennessee area. Ironically, we all got along down here, but then we didn’t have much to do with that side of the family. They came here long before our branch of the family. The kids in school had a lot of fun with the fact that we were best friends. Jim, it’s important. He and his wife are good people.”

 

“It’s okay Bones. I won’t let him know that I know anything about his financial situation. I understand how embarrassing it can be when you don’t have anything and your friend does.”

 

A hurt look crossed Len’s face. He never really gave it much thought, but he should have realized. Damn, Seri had hinted at it a few times. He could be obtuse sometimes. “I’m sorry. I never meant for you to feel that way.” Jim was family, part of Len felt this was Jim’s as well as his. But it wasn’t, was it.

 

“No, it’s nothing you’ve done. It is me. I’m working past it.” Part of Jim was still that poor farm boy from Iowa trying to measure up, trying to be as good as his rich friend. He knew Len never saw him that way, but sometimes he still did.

 

“Jim, you have given me more than anything money could buy. I want you to know that. This past year you saved my life. You absolutely saved my life.”

 

“I doubt I did that, But I know we have both given each other a lot. Now, let’s get out there before he changes his mind.” That was a conversation Jim figured they could continue at a later time if they need, but it might be just as good to leave it where it was.

 

Rob was sipping his drink when they finally got back outside. “Sorry, had to find him. Cal had Jim getting ready to haul the wood for tomorrow. You know how she can be.”

 

Rob was preoccupied. “Yeah.”

 

“Hi, I’m Jim. Len must have forgotten his manners. I should tell Mama on him.” Len visibly cringed. “But I won’t.” He extended his hand.

 

“Hello Jim, I’m Rob. Len says that you know a lot about the business of farms.” He stood and shook Jim’s hand. They all took their seats around the white wicker table.

 

“Yes, I grew up in Iowa. My stepfather ran a corn and soybean farm. I paid attention. When I got older, I worked on a corn farm, and irrigation systems before I joined Starfleet. So, tell me what is going on.”

 

“Len didn’t tell you?”

 

“Bones rarely tells me anything. Just kidding. But, no I don’t know anything except you want my opinion about the farm.”

 

Rob looked completely defeated. “I leveraged the loan for new cotton harvesting equipment against the farm, then the crop had to be destroyed, along with about thirty percent of my plants. I have been trying to get enough money from my subsequent crops to pay off the loan. I have even taken work around this farm when Jake has some to keep food on the table, but it still isn’t enough. I am behind by six months on the loan and they are getting ready to foreclose. I don’t know what to do, but I won’t take charity and if Len loans me money I know I won’t be able to pay it back.”

 

Jim could see the man was on the verge of tears. “What variety of cotton do you grow?”

 

“Mostly Gossypium Hirsutum, I wanted to diversify, but with the crop failure that was an impossibility.”

 

“Okay. From what I have read, the library here is full of farming books, that is one of the hardiest varieties. What caused the crop failure?”

 

“Boll Weevils came back for a short while. I was one of the few lucky ones.” He was even more sarcastic than Len; something Jim didn’t think possible.

 

“Let’s think. What is left on the loan?”

 

“About 50k. I had paid a lot of it off, but they wouldn’t let me refinance what was left. The bank said I wasn’t a good risk.”

 

“Give me a minute. Bones, I’m getting my PADD. I think this may be a great opportunity for both of you.” Jim ran in. He took his time; it gave Len and Rob time to talk.

 

“Lenny, he seems like a good guy. How did you two meet?”

 

“Oh, hell no! You will have to get me drunk, or stoned, or both for me to tell that story. It involved me, a shuttle, and…”

 

“Nevermind, I get the picture.” Rob had been on the receiving end of the repercussion from Len’s phobia when they traveled to the lunar colony after graduation.

 

“He is a good guy. Hopefully you two will get to know each other. He is brilliant, definitely smarter than me. Please don’t tell him that, or his head won’t fit through the front door. I have some ideas, but he really is better at this than I am.”

 

Jim came back out, PADD in hand. “Let’s crunch some numbers. If Len buys out your loan at 50k… That is the payoff amount as of today?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“If he pays it off he could go into partnership with you. Now, by my calculation you not only need that, but another say 30k to replenish your stock. How much is the farm worth, give or take?”

 

“About 1.5 million credits. But, in the shape it is right now, I would say closer to 850K.”

 

“So, let’s say Len invests 85k credits to give you a small buffer. For the first two years you pay him nothing and the profit goes back into the farm. You will need to diversify your plants to help insure all the plants won’t all die if disease, or pests hit. What you have is hardy, but I would suggest you pick something from a different hybrid of plant just in case. After the first two years, Len receives ten percent of the profit. You are partners so there is no charity involved, and the farm gets to stay with you. What do you think?”

 

Len was the first one to speak up. “Sounds good, but Jim, I thought you could make the investment. That way Rob won’t feel beholden to me. Since you aren’t friends yet, it would be purely a business transaction.” He looked straight into Kirk’s eyes willing him to understand what he was trying to do.

 

“I could do that. Can you give me until tomorrow afternoon to get the credits together? Also, the papers would need to be drawn up. Bones, do you think George’s associates could handle that?”

 

“I’m sure they could. Rob what do you think about this arrangement?”

 

“I really don’t know what to say. It sounds like a good idea. But what if another crop fails? What if you don’t make your money back?”

 

Jim looked at the man, he understood his feelings. He remembered how his stepfather lived and died by the crops’ success. “That is my gamble to take. But I don’t see that happening. Also, no more loans. We will have a fund set aside for any acquisitions. I’ll throw in 100k and you put in, after the first two years, 10K a year until you match me. What do you think?” Jim extended his hand to Rob.

 

“It sounds good to me.” He shook Jim’s hand. “Thank you both. Jim, really thank you for this.”

 

“No need. I see it as an investment, not only in your farm, but in a community I am growing to love.”

 

Len also shook Rob’s hand. “Rob, you need to tell Ann. As soon as you get home, please tell her. She’ll be pissed, but I know her, she’ll forgive you. I’ll call George’s office.  The papers should be easy to draft. I’ll see if we can get them before tomorrow’s blowout. Please tell me you two are coming. Bring the girls. I know Jo would love to see Lenora. I already put them in the kid headcount.”

 

“I’ll tell her, and if she is talking to me we’ll both be here. Ann was planning on coming anyway. Nora and Lenora will be thrilled.”

 

They all shook hands. Rob walked down the drive a bit quicker than he had walked up. “Jim, thank you. I was hoping you would catch on.”

 

“Please tell me I didn’t just put you in the poor house. I basically just promised that man almost two hundred thousand credits.”

 

Len was laughing. “Naw Jim, not even close to putting me there. Okay, almost no one knows this, Mama doesn’t even know. I’ll tell Seri one day, and Joce knows, but this farm is more of a hobby that anything. Don’t get me wrong, it makes a nice profit, but it isn’t where the money comes from. My grandfather and grandmother made a killing in off planet investments. They set up a company that bankrolls companies who construct colonies on other planets. It does on a much larger scale what you just did for Rob. I keep a close eye on what it does. You know those times when you wanted to go out and I said I was busy; it was usually because I was walking over the books. The last thing I need is some greedy corporate officer investing in a company that doesn’t adhere to Starfleet’s or the Federation’s regulations. Plus, I want to know where every credit is. This revelation does explain the pay checks to Rob. I really hadn’t given it much thought. Jake I trust, corporate officers, not as much.”

 

“How are you going to continue to monitor that company and be a surgeon in Starfleet.”

 

“Uncle George has people who will oversee things. I’ll go over all of it with him before we go back. I know him, he’ll also be keeping an eye on things. He loves this kind of stuff. I’m sure this sounds insane to you, but it is what I grew up with; it’s all I have known my entire life. Funny, if Ginny had turned out more like Callie she would have been the CEO of Highland Enterprises. As it stands she has no idea what this family really does. Though I have been entertaining the thought of selling. I have gotten some pretty good offers over the past couple of years.”

 

“May I ask what you would term ‘pretty good’?”

 

“One offer was at eight billion credits, and I could remain on the board. The other was for 15 billion credits, but that would be a total sale.” Jim’s mouth had dropped open. “What is it Kid?”

 

“You talk about it so nonchalantly. I can’t even imagine that kind of money.”

 

“I could say it is only a number, but we both know that isn’t true. For me it is security for my family, all of my family. It allows me to do things like what we did for Rob without blinking. Jim, I want you to keep the profit from the cotton farm.  Before you say anything, you will be the one to deal with it so I want you paid. I owe Rob. He kept me from going down the wrong path when we were growing up. I owe him more than I could ever repay. He can never know it was my money and not yours. Okay?”

“I am going to pay you back your investment. It will come out of my part of the profits, no arguments. I promise I’ll never tell him about you bankrolling this. Bones?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I know this may sound rude and you don’t have to answer…”

 

“Seven Billion.”

 

“What?”

 

“I thought you wanted to know how much the family holdings were worth.”

 

“Fuck!”

 

“Jim, is this a problem?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“The way you see us, does the money change that? You know we really are just what you see. The money is a means to an end, not an end unto itself. When I say I use it to help my entire family, I mean the community I grew up in. If it wasn’t for them, my father would have destroyed me.”

 

“No, the money doesn’t change how I see all of you. It was just a shock. Bones, you need to give me time, that’s all.  How much did you give Ginny?  Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

 

“Jim, you can ask me anything. I take that back, nothing about my sex life, but anything else is fair game. I offered her four million credits and the bedroom set from the blue room.”

 

“I don’t want to know about your sex life. I don’t want to know what you do with my sister.” The levity was helping the conversation. “She was happy with that offer? I thought she was greedy.”

 

“She is. She is also not as well informed as she thinks she is. She knows nothing about the family holdings. Joce does because of the divorce, but those records were sealed so only the interested parties know what is in them. Joce was never greedy and she got a very nice settlement for putting up with my ass for as long as she did. She was entitled to a lot more, but she didn’t want it. As angry and hurt as she was, I think what she did in that arbitration showed a great deal of character.”

 

“She seems like a good person. Ginny must think she got a great bargain from her idiot brother. You’re right, George will have to be told.  I think what happened with Ginny is priceless. She did make my niece cry, nice to see her get what she deserved.”

 

“That isn’t all. Highland Enterprises owns the company she works for. No one knows that, but I have enjoyed the fact for years. I heard Cal get the flatbed out of the garage. Those two will be done soon. All of the tables and chairs are in the same outbuilding. We need to get moving or they’ll try to help us.”

 

Jim had a huge smile on his face. Thinking about the precariousness of Ginny’s position was more than a little enjoyable. But Jim knew one thing, as much as he might want to, Len would never have her fired without cause. “We can’t have that. Knowing those two, they’ll tell us we are doing it all wrong. Where is the wood pile?”

 

“It is on the other side of the white outbuilding. I don’t like it too close to the house. We use to have it near the summer kitchen, but the mice thought it was a condominium.”

 

“Yeah, they thought the corn fields were their grocery store. How much do you think we will need?”

 

“I thought about six to eight cubic feet. What do you think?”

 

“That should work if we keep a medium size fire.” They went to the garage to get one of the pickup hover crafts. “Maybe we should fill the bed.”

 

“That should be enough. If we do that, we won’t have to offload it. We can just leave it down there. Can you drive one of the other trucks down?”

 

“Sure. Don’t want to walk all of the way back?”

 

“Hell no! Let’s get started.” They drove the crafts down to the outbuilding and started to load the truck. By the time they got down to the field Seri and Callie were almost done. Len gave his fiancé a kiss as he tried to help place the chairs.

 

“Len, stop it. We have this. Before you ask, Jo is packing and she knows where we are. I told her to wait for us in the house.” She had heard everything Len had been thinking or talking about on the porch. When anyone talked the thought came through a microsecond before the word came out of their mouth. This bonded thing was coming in handy. _“I heard what you all talked about. You are a good man Leonard McCoy._ ”

 

 _“I just did what I thought was best for all of them. Did you hear everything?”_ He continued to speak with her so no one would know they were also “talking”. “Okay Peaches. Callie, do we need anything else?”

 

_“Yes, and I don’t give a damn about what your family has. I agree. Money is a means to an end, but not an end unto itself. By the way I love the schadenfreude with Ginny.”_

_“I figured you might. Bad Seri.”_ She could feel his internal laughter _._

 

Callie placed the last of the chairs. “No. We also brought down trash bins. Lizzy said she is bringing the plates, and Ann said she is bringing the cups and silverware. All we will need are the napkins. Oh, our reprobate cousins are bringing the shine. They said they will need to take at least ten bushels of peaches back with them if you want any of the peach shine next year.”

 

“Nice to know some things don’t change. At least none of their stuff comes out until the kids are back in the house. Jim, you’ll love them. We joke, but they are a lot of fun and really good people.”

 

“Bones, if they are anything like Rob, I know I will.”

 

“Rob is a lot more sedate. Owen and Tucker are more, let’s just say, active.”

 

Callie had stepped next to Jim and leaned an arm on his shoulder. “That’s one way of putting it. Luckily their wives will be here to keep them in check. My idiot big brother put them in charge of the fire one year. By the time we got down here it was over eight feet tall. That was the last time they were in charge of anything.”

 

“In my defense, I figured they used fire in their distillery so they would know what they were doing.”

 

“Idiot, they did know what they were doing. That was the problem. You handed a match to the devil’s pyros. I thought Mama was going to kill all of us. How may years ago was that?”

 

“Five, Joce and I had already moved back home after I graduated. Joce was still in the house putting Jo down for the sitter when all hell broke loose. Dad wasn’t around as usual; I was spared that at least. But if you think Mama didn’t try to kill me, you are sadly mistaken. You were spared because you were seventeen and I told her you had nothing to do with it. I thought you were stopping the metaphors.”

 

“I am getting better.”

 

“This was after your Ole’ Miss graduation?” Jim was trying to follow the timeline that led up to the disaster.

 

“No, Hopkins. My grandfather died soon after that night.”

 

Now Jim was genuinely confused. “Bones, I’m not the best at math, but even I figured out you were twenty-three or twenty-four when your cousins tried to burn down the farm.”

 

“They didn’t try to burn down the farm, just see how high they could get the flames to go. I was just twenty-four. Why?”

 

“But you graduated from Hopkins?”

 

“Yeah. Like my idiot little sister, I graduated high school at fifteen. The faster I got out of school, the faster I would be out of the house and away from my father. I never talk about it; which in this family is almost an impossibility.”

 

“Got it. Do we need anything else down here?”

 

“I don’t think so. I’ll order the ice when we get back to the house.”

 

“How many extinguishers do we have?” Seri and Callie had already left for the house.

 

“Four for the fire.”

 

“Any for the kegs?”

 

“Shit!  No, but we can bring two of the new troughs down and fill them with ice tomorrow.”

 

It didn’t take long for them to move the two longer troughs to the fire area. “Bones, I’m sorry for earlier.”

 

“Sorry about what?”

 

“Figuring out about how old you were when you graduated. Did Seri know?”

 

“Yes. She and I had talked about it months ago. It was similar for her. The faster she could get to university the faster she could get away from her mother. Don’t worry about it. I have to stop by the chicken coop before we go in. I need to separate two of the chicks from the rest. Jo wants the one as a pet. This way she’ll have two little friends.”

 

Jim was starting to see who his friend was. He always knew that under it all Len was a decent man. This trip showed him how deep the kindness and morality ran. He was lucky to have found a man like that. Before Len, he didn’t believe people like that existed. The people from Jim’s past would have let their friend lose the farm then bought it cheap. This was a revelation; some people were genuinely good. He hoped he could live up to the example his big brother had set.


	29. chapter 29

 

Len held Seri until she fell asleep. Her grip on him lessened, but even in her sleep she didn’t let go. As he lifted her off the couch she felt like a feather in his arms. The past week all she had done was take care of him. She gave him everything she was. For the most part, the care had been taken for granted. That needed to stop. He kissed her forehead as he laid her gently onto the bed. None of what she did for him was easy. She had risked everything, even her soul for him. Cal was right, he could be and unthinking ass at times. Carefully he laid her on the soft sheets and gently pulled the covers up. Another kiss fell softly on her forehead.

 

“Len?” Jet black eyes looked up at him questioning.

 

“Good morning baby.” The covers were pulled back for him to crawl under. He removed his shirt and then hers. Len relished the feel of her skin against his. The softness and warmth of their skin was the feeling he most craved. “I thought it would be nice to lie together just like this. We could talk about what we’ll do when we get home.”

 

She snuggled into his chest, drinking in his sent. Nothing ever made her feel as safe and secure as being held in her lover’s arms. “I am concerned about what we’ll have to deal with in San Francisco. I don’t want it to be like it was after Nero.” The crowds and the press had been waiting to greet them at the shuttle bay. It was blindingly bright and loud as they exited the shuttle. She remembered being separated from Len and Jim as the press pushed their way between the senior crew. They all wanted to interview Jim and Spock. Len found her quickly and pushed their way to medical. None of those around knew who he was. But that was then. Now the universe seemed to know who the youngest CMO in Starfleet history was. They wouldn’t be able to escape again.

 

“I know baby. But you know how it is when the Enterprise docks. Knowing Jim, he’ll take the spotlight off us as much as he can. Chances are they have already set up interviews for him with the various news organizations.” Starfleet usually had one big press conference with several private interviews set up with the most respected news institutions.  What happened after Nero had taught them to contain the crowds, and control how their personnel were approached.

 

The entire Federation believed James T. Kirk loved publicity. They couldn’t have been more wrong. He would want to go for his debriefing and then jump on a shuttle home, not talk about himself and the ships exploits to a group of total strangers. Seri knew how much this was going to take out of him, but he would take the brunt of the attention if it meant the rest of them could slip away unnoticed. Hopefully that would be enough to keep the press from Taccoa. None of them wanted an invasion of their town.

 

“Len, I know where your mind has been going. Do you want to talk about it?” His thoughts had been taking detours to the morgue ever since his wounds had healed.

 

“You know I want to see him. Peaches, I know he is gone. I know that. I held him. But I keep picturing him in the bag.” The sadness in his eyes told all.

 

“And the pictures in your head are getting worse as the days go on.” She could see what he had imagined. It was worse than the reality. Seri had seen the kid shortly before she relieved Len of duty. The autopsy was over and she had needed to say goodbye. Christine had cleaned up Pavel before she zipped him into the bag. He almost looked like he was sleeping.

 

“They are. How many days are left before we get home?”

 

“Two before we get to Jupiter. It will take a few more hours before we get to Earth, so maybe a half a day more. I can ask Jim or Spock.”

 

“No. It’s okay. I think I need to see him before Jupiter. I just need to say goodbye.” His brow furrowed as his eyes softened. He didn’t want her to tell him no. He couldn’t live with the pictures his imagination drew. As bad as the reality would be, the false images were worse.

 

“That is more than understandable. Do you want to do it alone? I can stay in the room with you if that is what you want.” Len was strong, but this was going to test that strength, possibly more than he realized.

 

“I think I need to say goodbye alone. Can you wait outside the room?” Even if she couldn’t read him, his eyes showed the pain and fear he felt. They pleaded with her to understand all that was behind them.

 

Her hand reached to stroke his cheek. It felt rough to her touch. Everyone, almost everyone, saw him as a man that was as rough as his unshaven cheek. Only a few people understood that it was all a façade; a professional mask that allowed him to do a job few would want. Seri knew who he was under it all. He was the man who could calmly hold a dying child in his arms, making sure that baby felt loved and safe. Then, when it was over, show no emotion to those around him; only to later cry himself to sleep in her arms. She could count on one hand how many times that had happened since she met him; but every time she held him she felt herself privileged a man like that would love and trust her as much as he did. “I can. When do you want to do this?”

 

“Maybe during the next Alpha shift. Joseph will be there so I don’t need to talk to anyone else.” No one would be there to see him if he lost control. Christine and Joseph would be safe; they would never look at him as an object of pity. Joseph had been with him since right after Nero, and he was lucky that Christine came back to head the nursing department. He saw them as his equals, not his subordinates. The rest of the staff needed to see him as the leader, and leaders didn’t break.

 

“I’ll talk to Joseph. From what I understand, you are the only member of the senior staff who hasn’t seen him.  Everyone else has already said goodbye.” She knew the question was coming. They hadn’t talked about what had happened in the time between his materializing on the transporter pad, and her relieving him of duty.

 

“You saw him? When?” His voice sounded angry, but it was more pain than anger.

 

“Right before your meltdown in medical. Don’t be angry, but the autopsy was already done before you insisted on being the doctor to lead it. Joseph, Christine, and I agreed that he should do it. We knew you would insist on it, and that the scenario may not end well. This was the best course of action in our opinion. Jim and Spock agreed. None of us thought it would be healthy for you to do the procedure.” Seri could feel the conflict in Len’s soul. He wanted to be angry, but the anger didn’t come.

 

“I’m not angry Peaches. Part of me assumed M’Benga had done it as soon as possible. I just wanted to do one last thing for him, that’s all. I didn’t want to admit that it was truly over. Damn, I was a real ass. I’m sorry.” He brushed the hair from her eyes. One day he would understand what she saw in him; she told him that a long time ago. He still didn’t understand why him, but he was forever thankful she saw things that he couldn’t. “I can’t wait to get home. What type of wedding ring do you want?”

 

“A plain gold band to go with my engagement ring. We can go to Hancock’s together. And you don’t need to apologize to me. But thank you anyway.” His attempt to change the subject was appreciated. They could deal with the visit when Alpha shift started. “Len, are you sure you want to get married as soon as we get back? This past week has been tough. I don’t want you to do this and regret we didn’t wait until the end of our tours. I don’t want this to be because of Mylus.” She didn’t want to be added to his long list of regrets.

 

“It isn’t. And now that I am no longer stoned, you know I will remember this conversation.” She smiled, he did remember what they talked about during his surgery. “I have been thinking about this for some time. Mylus just cemented what I have been feeling since Kahn. I want our future to start as soon as possible. If you want to wait till the end of our tours, I understand.” Jim’s death had shown him how uncertain their lives could be. He had never told anyone, but as he sat in the cave with Spock all he could think about were Seri and Jo. He needed permeance in his life. Mylus was the final straw, though he wouldn’t rush her. If needed he could wait another year.

 

“I want to get married as soon as possible. I want to start a family. Are you alright with that? I want to have children, and I honestly don’t want to wait much longer.” Seri wanted at least two children, and she didn’t want to wait too much longer. She never saw herself having children later in life.

 

He played with her hair, running his fingers through it as he stared into her eyes. “I would be happy to start on that right now.” She raised her eyebrows and smiled. “That’s not what I meant. Seri, do you want to reverse the birth control? I know Joseph would do it for you. We can wait until after the wedding, or he can do it before we disembark.” Len wanted children with this woman. She would be an amazing mother, he had no doubt of that. One day he wanted to see their children play on the front lawn as Seri yelled for them to slow down, or to stop throwing pecans at each other. To him that was what heaven looked like.

 

“I think I’ll talk to him during Alpha shift. I want to start as soon as possible. He told me when he installed it, that reversal would be no problem. He also said that according to all of the tests I will have no problem getting pregnant.” His eyes told her he had hoped that would be her response.

 

“Should we start practicing now? I think we should make sure we know what we are doing.” His eyes had changed. The green shown with more gold than before. A sure sign she was being teased.

 

The remainder of their clothing was removed. Just because he teased her didn’t mean he didn’t want her. The years hadn’t dulled the sensation of having her in him. He was one with her the minute their bodies became flush with each other. Her fingers played with his hair as she looked at him questioningly. “Len, you know we still have a year left on our enlistment and tour?”

 

He turned until she was under him. “I am aware. Don’t worry baby, if you get pregnant the CMO will take care of everything. As he understands it, the counselor has been sending recommendations to the admiralty regarding the inclusion of families onboard ship for extended missions.”

 

“She has. She believes that the inclusion of families will make longer missions possible for more of the highly qualified personnel. As it stands most of the crew members with families are looking to leave as soon as possible. They love it on the Enterprise, but they need to be with their families. The counselor argued that the new ship was far larger than the old one and could easily accommodate families and peripheral personnel needed for the children. The admiralty was looking into it. They needed to talk to the CMO and the Captain before they would make any determinations.”

 

He was smiling down at her as he rested his weight on his arms. “The CMO and Captain have been busy lately, but I am willing to bet they will agree with the Counselor.” He bent down and began to lightly kiss her. His tongue slipped along her bottom lip as she opened her mouth to him. This was Seri’s favorite place in the universe. Soft moments with Len were electric to her.

 

The comm. went off. Jim’s voice cut through the silence of Len’s cabin. “Dr. McCoy, Dr. Targan, please meet me at Dr. Targan’s quarters in ten minutes.”

 

Len smiled down at Seri. “Perfect timing as usual.” She giggled as he got up. They both dressed quickly and headed across the hall.

 

Jim had woken up from his nap. He needed to go over the particulars of what would happen when they landed on Earth. He also wanted to talk to Seri about the transfer of Dardrok to the facility at Jupiter station. He wanted her to have one more, quick “session” with the Mylan before he disembarked. She may be able to get some more information. It was worth the try.

 

He entered the bridge squinting. Damn it was bright in there. Nyota noticed his discomfort and smiled. “Captain, there will be a Starfleet representative to meet us at the Jupiter station. He wants Commander Spock, Dr. McCoy, Dr. Targan, Dr. M’Benga, Mr. Trexel, Mr. Hylee, and you to be available for questioning.”

 

“Lieutenant, can you contact the representative and find out if this will be the only debriefing. If not, inform him that we will be debriefed on Earth. I will not put my CMO through more than one debriefing. Don’t tell him that. I thought it might help you deal with him if you understood my motivation.”

 

“Yes Captain. I will get the particulars for you.” This was a part of her job that she loved. It gave her a chance to care for her family the way they cared for her. She loved them more than she thought she would. Nothing at the Academy had prepared her for the culture of the Enterprise. The feeling of family that pervaded everything they did came from their Captain.

 

Jim had been a revelation to her. When they first met she saw him as an immature ass. The first three years at the Academy did nothing to change her opinion of him. He came off as a kid with a chip on his shoulder, angry at the universe for the cards he had been dealt. Then Nero came. Jim showed them all who he really was. When he took command, he was willing to put his life on the line to insure the survival of not only his crew, but also for the survival of Earth. By the time Kahn came along she was willing to follow him anywhere. Then he died to save them. Now she could help him.

 

She could help all of them. Seri was her sister. She had been there for her when Spock said he was leaving to go to New Vulcan. She had helped Nyota when Krall had them detained. Seri had kept her calm and allowed her to focus on getting them out of there. Her sister was her anchor. Then there was Len; god, she never thought he would be her brother. He was a complete misanthrope, an irascible curmudgeon with a heart of gold.  She didn’t realize how much he meant to her until he was trapped in that torpedo.  Hikaru, Scotty, and Pavel were her partners in crime. They loved to help her try to get one over on Jim or Spock. Now Pavel was gone. She would do all she could do to protect the rest of them.

 

“Commander, come with me. Mr. Sulu you have the con.” Jim didn’t want to go over what he knew more than once. They all needed to be on the same page before they got to Jupiter. Starfleet would want to know everything. It was important that Len knew what was left out of the reports. He didn’t want the CMO to destroy his career by opening his mouth. It might be better if Seri stayed with him during the debriefing. The Admiral had given them that option, and Jim felt it might be a good idea.

 

Seri’s cabin had more seating than either Len’s or Jim’s. “Len, I was wondering if you would want to move in with me. It seems silly to not share a cabin. I could move into yours, but this one is larger, and it has a window. Does the window bother you?”

 

“Not anymore. After four years out here, I’m use to it. Moving in here sounds like a good idea. I like that you have a tub and a shower.” He could move his personal belongings in before they went down to medical. He didn’t have much, but what he had he treasured. There was a picture of Jo, and one of the entire family. There was a chess set he had picked up near Pavel’s hometown their second year at the academy. Luckily it hadn’t been on the other Enterprise. Other than that, there were only the usual things; clothing, toiletries, a vase, two throw pillows, and an assortment of medals and awards. Except for the clothing it would probably all fit in two boxes.

 

“I’ll help you after Jim leaves.” They sat on the couch and waited for the captain to show up. She could feel Jim, he was determined, but she had no idea why. Jupiter would come soon enough and then Earth. Hopefully then it would all be over.

 

The door slid open as Jim and then Spock came in. Len and Seri stood out of reflex. “Have a seat everyone. I thought we should go over what will happen when we get to Jupiter.”  Jim got up and grabbed the PADD that sat on the counter. After his code was punched in, their itinerary came up on the screen.

 

Len glanced over it. So much for getting to Earth in two and a half days. They were to stay there for the transfer of the entire Mylan crew and their ship. According to what was sent, Jim would be the one to contact the Mylans and set up a rendezvous point for the prisoner exchange. “Spock, doctors, if the debriefings are to happen on Earth, I will stay on Jupiter station until all of this is set up. I don’t want to hold up the rest of the crew. Spock, I want you to take the Enterprise back to Earth as soon as the prisoner and I disembark.”

 

Seri could feel Len begin to panic. Until that moment she didn’t realize how important it was to Len that they all stay together.  Normally he wouldn’t be like this, but the week’s trauma was still a part of him. “Jim, why do you have to stay? Can’t we stay with you? Maybe they will need us as well.” His speech was hurried, bordering on frantic.

 

“Doctor, I do not see why they would need all of us. It is logical to believe that Starfleet will only need us for our debriefing. Therefore, there is no reason to keep the crew at Jupiter station. It would make more sense to leave the Captain there and have him shuttle back as soon as the transfer of the prisoners is set.”

 

_“Jim, Len is scared of being separated from all of us. His thoughts are all over the place, but his emotions are clear. He is afraid of being separated. We need to find a way to keep us together that will be logical to not only Spock, but also to Starfleet.”_

_“Got it Kiddo.”_ Jim opened his comm. “Lieutenant, what have they said about the debriefing?”

 

“Captain, they are willing to have the debriefing take place on Jupiter station. Dr. McCoy may have a representative with him if he so chooses.”

 

“Good work Lieutenant. One day you need to tell me how you managed that.”

 

Her smile could be heard in her voice. “Yes Captain.”

 

Captain Kirk turned the PADD off and addressed his senior officers. “That changes things. We will wait until we are all debriefed and I have finished with the Mylans before we take the Enterprise back to Earth. Commander I trust that you remember your report. Please do not veer from what is contained in that report. Dr. McCoy, I must insist that Dr. Targan be present at your debriefing.  The reports sent to Starfleet do not contain exactly how Lieutenant Chekov died. The reports say he died from his wounds despite you attempts to protect him.”

 

“What the fuck! You all lied in your reports to Starfleet?”

 

“No Doctor, we did not lie. We simply told a truth. He did die from his wounds and you did try to protect him.”

 

“Damn it Spock, that is simply a matter of perspective.”

 

“You will find Doctor that many truths are simply a matter of perspective. And as you know, Vulcans cannot lie.”

 

“Bones, just trust us. Seri, can you stay in his head the entire time he is in the debriefing? I know from experience that no one can read any of your thoughts when the two of you are communicating. And I don’t trust them not to have a telepath in the room.”

 

“Yes Captain. Jim, I know Spock can keep them out of his thoughts, do you think you can still do that?”

 

“Kiddo, I did it on an entire planet of telepaths. I’ve got this. Bones, are you ready for this?”

 

“No. Does it matter?”

 

“Not really. Just remember, we are all in this together. You did something that I doubt most people would have the strength to do. Don’t ever forget that.”

 

“I’m trying Jim. I am trying.”

 

Spock looked at all of them. If he could have taken the questions for the doctor he would have. Leonard McCoy did not deserve the type of questions he was sure would be asked. He didn’t need to relive those days. When they got back to Earth he wanted to take a drive into town. The normalcy of that might help both of them get back to where they were before Mylus.

 

Jim looked directly at Seri. She knew it was Captain Kirk talking. Even if he called her Kiddo and called Len Bones, he still felt like the captain. “Kiddo, can you go over the reports with Bones.  I want us all on the same page before we walk in there. None of us did anything wrong, I don’t want the bureaucrats to twist things. Len do you hear me? None of us did anything wrong.”

 

“I hear you.”

 

“Do you believe me?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Bones, you need to believe me. If you have any doubt about what you did, they’ll know.”

 

Seri understood what concerned Jim. If they had a telepath in the room they would be able to feel him. “Jim, Len and I will start to communicate telepathically before we enter the room. That way there is no one who will be able to read him. It isn’t just thoughts they can’t read, they cannot read his emotions either. We’ll just start communicating as soon as we enter the building.”

                                        

Len was concerned. “Jim, I know Trexel and Hylee saw nothing. I made sure of that. But, what about Joseph?”

 

Spock spoke up. He knew Len would listen to what he had to say. “Dr. M’Benga’s autopsy report concluded that Lieutenant Chekov bled to death. That there were multiple wounds that could have led to this and he could not state definitively which wound was ultimately the lethal one. In his expert opinion there were several that could fit that description. He will state that in a debriefing.” They all knew that Dr. Joseph M’Benga was nothing if not tenacious about his scientific conclusions. Once he made a determination it was difficult, if not impossible to get him to deviate.

 

Len was the only wild card in all of this. If the fear and pain overtook him he would start saying more than he should. It would be like Emory, Emory without Uncle George. Jim had to trust his counselor to keep his CMO focused and quiet. Len had done what needed to be done, but they couldn’t trust Starfleet to see it that way. Hopefully Seri was as good as Jim thought she was.

 

“Bones, can I talk to you about something?”

 

“Sure?”

 

“Let’s go to your cabin. We can all meet again when we dock.”

 

“Okay?” They headed out to Len’s cabin. Jim always liked this cabin. It was smaller than the captain’s but definitely not cramped. It was the same size as Spock’s, but not as rigid. It had the feeling of being a home, even if it didn’t have many personal things in it.

 

Seri looked at Spock. “Are you wondering what that was all about?”

 

“It is pointless to be curious Doctor as the Captain does not appear to want to divulge his intent.”

 

“But, do you want to know?” She had a glint in her eye he had rarely seen. This had to be something important if she was willing to tell him about the captain’s thoughts. “Don’t worry, Jim told me I could read his thoughts for the remainder of this mission. No barriers is what I believe he said.”

 

“Alright doctor, what, as you stated, was that all about?”

 

“He is going to talk to Len about asking Cal to marry him.” She didn’t think it was possible, but Spock actually looked shocked.

 

“Seriana, I didn’t think he was ready for that.”

 

“He has been ready for that these past four years. Now we are headed back. Spock, he needs her, the way I need Len, and you need Nyota.” Spock’s eyebrow raised at the observation.

 

Jim flopped on Len’s couch. “Do you think you will be moving in with Seri soon?” He was looking around the room anxiously.

 

“I’m moving in today. You want this cabin, don’t you?” Len was observing Jim’s body language. He never could hide personal things from Len.

 

“Yes. I love your shower.” Jim’s eyes darted around the room as Len took a seat across from him.

 

Len leaned in towards Jim. “Now Kid, tell me what is really on your mind.”

 

Jim let out the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “I’m sorry Bones, it might not be the best time to bring this up.”

 

“Jim!” Len sounded impatient. He wasn’t really, but the years had taught him that when Jim got like this, it was the best way to get the kid talking.

 

“Do you remember when we were at the farm after Kahn? You know when you brought me there to heal.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Remember how Cal stayed with all of us?”

 

“Yes. She insisted I go to Emory to do research on Kahn’s blood.”

 

“I know. You came up with a few cures if I remember correctly.”

 

“Yes, for Vulcan hemorrhagic fever, Camisticar syndrome, and Xenopolycythemia. It was a productive few months. Got a few awards for my efforts. They didn’t mean much to me, but I know it pissed off Janice. That was the best award I could have gotten. Mama loved it. Why?”

 

“Well I was with Cal during that time.”

 

“I know. She didn’t want to leave your side. I remember having to shoo her out of medical when we were still at Starfleet. She needed her rest, but didn’t want to leave your side for a minute. At the farm she was worse. You scared her.”

 

“Yes, but that isn’t what I mean. I mean I was **with** Cal during that time.” Jim tried to sit back further into the couch. He wasn’t sure how pissed off Len was going to be. Cal wasn’t just his sister, she was his favorite. And Jim had a well-earned reputation in Starfleet as a fun but, non-committal ride. No one in their right mind would want their sister to be with him.

 

“I know.” Len’s voice was soft. He had known his sister was in love with Jim. They had started their relationship that summer on the farm. Neither of them was ready for a commitment, but when they were, he had no doubt they would choose each other. He would have been a fool if he didn’t realize they had made love after Kahn.

 

“Len, I haven’t been with another woman since then. Actually, to be more precise, I haven’t been with anyone since then.”

 

“And she is the first person you talk to when anything happens, good or bad. She is your first thought in the morning, and your last at night.” He smiled at Jim. Almost a decade prior Jim had said something similar to him.

 

“Yeah. I need her Bones. I want to marry her. Do you think she’ll want me? I’m not exactly husband material.” His eyes showed the pain of his past. He had a hard time even liking himself, therefore he couldn’t understand how anyone could love him.

 

Len understood that feeling. Hell, he still couldn’t understand how he managed to get a woman like Seri to love him. “Jim, she adores you. I see it every time she looks at you. I can tell you she hasn’t been with anyone since you and she were together. I hear it from my friends at medical. They can’t understand why she turns everyone down. I don’t tell them that is because her soul is with someone far away. Jim, ask her. I doubt she will turn you down. I know my sister.”

 

“I know I’m not good enough for her, and I’m being selfish, but I don’t want to be without her. I thought you would be pissed. You know me! I know you probably think she could do a lot better.” Jim had leaned forward, his hands clasped as he looked at the floor. He had never noticed the pattern on the carpet before. The black swirls intertwined over the burgundy.

 

“Jim! Did you hear me?” He knew Jim hadn’t heard a word he just said.

 

“What? Sorry.” When he felt inadequate his mind had a tendency to wander. He needed to work on that.

 

Len was dead serious. “Jim look at me.” Jim’s eyes came up to meet his. “I do know you, maybe better than you know yourself. I couldn’t wish for a better man to be with my baby sister. You two need each other. Honestly, I doubt anyone else could keep up with either of you. You even got her to stop using metaphors.”

 

“Yeah, but you picked up the habit.” Jim’s smile was strained, but at least it was there. “Len, I can’t live without her.”

 

“I know how you feel. What do you think we did to deserve the women in our lives?” He wanted Jim to be at ease. Cal would say yes, Len was sure of it. Every time he talked to her she would ask about Jim. He was always in her thoughts. Len could not remember her being like that about any of the men she had been with. With Jim as her husband, Len could stop worrying about his sister as much as he did. Jim would love her the way she deserved to be loved, and she would love him in ways he had never experienced in his life.

 

“So, you don’t have a problem with me asking her to marry me?”

 

“Are you asking for my permission?”

 

“No, more like asking for your blessing.”

 

“You have that and more. When we get to the farm, I have something to show you before you ask her. Please don’t forget to remind me.” He was excited for them.

 

_“Len, did he ask you.”_

_“Yes Peaches. He was scared. Don’t tell him, but it was actually cute.”_

_“I won’t say a thing. She is going to be thrilled.”_

_“I know, but I think he is going to wait until we are at the farm.”_

_“He probably will. When you two are done I will help you move. By the way, this may give Spock an idea as well.”_

_“If it does, that will make Nyota happy.”_

 

“Seri guessed, didn’t she? I can usually tell when you two are communicating. Your eyes change to green.”

 

“She has been waiting for this. You know how she can get. She wants all of us to be happy.”

 

“Hopefully this will be a start. Thanks for everything. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if you disapproved.”

 

“How could I disapprove. I love you, even when you don’t love yourself.”

 

“We are a pair aren’t we. After all these years it still feels like it did that summer.” Jim got up and Len rose to hug him. All of this because he made a rash decision nine years ago to go to the Academy.

 

Jim left feeling like a great weight had been lifted. He would have to tell Mama, but that would be easy. Len felt happy. He started to get his stuff together to move into Seri’s cabin, he would transfer his codes to there as well. The morgue would be hard, Jupiter would be hard, but then they would be home and life could start again. So much of their lives started that summer. Maybe life could start again in that home.


	30. chapter 30

Jim and Len made it back to the house. They both needed to shower and change. Jim ran up to his room while Len when to check on Jo. Only God knew where the wet underwear went when she changed from the pond. Sara didn’t need to deal with mildewed clothes come laundry day. He knocked softly on her door. “Turtle may I come in?”

 

“Sure Daddy! You need to see this.” He walked into the universe bouncing off the bedroom walls.

 

“Turtle, this is amazing. Who did this?” He sat next to her.

 

She was lying on her bed watching the stars dance in the dark room. “Mr. Jake and Uncle Evan did it for me. When you go into space I can see where you are.”

 

He still felt guilty about leaving her. Some father he turned out to be. “Baby, I’m sorry.”

 

She looked completely confused. “Why Daddy? Did you break something?”

 

He felt like he had. He broke his word. When she was born he promised to always be there for her. Joce had been taking a nap when he held her in the hospital. That was when he promised Jo that he wouldn’t be like his father, that he would always love and support her. “For leaving here and joining Starfleet. You know that means I am going to spend a lot of time off planet? I won’t get to spend much time with you.”

 

She got up and turned the lights on. As much as he tried to hide them, Len couldn’t hide the tears as they gathered in his eyes. Jo saw, how upset her daddy was, and she didn’t like it. As she sat on his lap, her head leaned on his chest. “Daddy, it’s okay. I know you will be helping all sorts of people. Mommy told me that. She also told me that no matter what, I will always be one of the most important people in your life. Mommy said it didn’t matter where you were, you will always be my daddy, and my daddy will always love me.” She hugged him as hard as she could. He kept her in his arms until he knew the tears had stopped.

 

The tears were brushed from his eyes as he pulled back from her. “You know what we could do?”

 

“No Daddy.”

 

“I think you and I should have our own communicators. That way you can call me anytime you want.  Sometimes I won’t be able to answer right away, but as soon as I can I promise I’ll call you. What do you think of that?” It was a poor substitute for him being there, but it was something. He would tell Seri, Joce, and Evan about it, but it would be something just for he and Jo.

 

“That would be great.  Daddy, can we get the one that shows the other person talking?”

 

“Sure baby. You don’t think I could go that long with out seeing my Turtle?” She threw her arms around him again. He would make sure he got the communicators as soon as possible. “Baby, go get your wet clothes. They need to go into the laundry.”

 

“I’ll get them. I just left them on the bathroom floor. Mommy said I should never put my wet clothes in the hamper.” She grabbed the clothes and headed to the laundry room.

 

Len watched as she left. He would make this work. There was no choice. Seri, and Joce would help, that was definite. A shower and a change of clothes was necessary, the smell was not good. He could feel Seri as she got cleaned up. _“Stay in the tub Peaches. I think I’ll join you.”_

 

Jim took a quick shower and walked out into his bedroom to get dressed. He dropped the towel as he started to go through his drawers for clean underwear and jeans. “Hi blue eyes, nice view.”

 

“Cal! What the fuck!” Whiplash was a possibility given how fast he turned around to face her.

 

“Don’t worry, you aren’t the first naked man I’ve ever seen. I was wondering what you were doing before dinner.” To her credit she looked him in the eye and not up and down.

 

“Well, getting dressed for one thing.” She obviously wasn’t leaving. Jim started to throw on his boxers.

 

“Damn, there goes the view.” She was giggling. “If you aren’t doing anything special I thought we could ride into town, maybe meet Mama and George for dinner. I have some errands to run before tomorrow.”

 

“Okay. Cal, do you have any boundaries?” He was standing in front of her wearing nothing but a pair of worn jeans.

 

She became serious. “I do. I just wanted to see where yours were. It’s nice to know you feel the same as I do. Frankly I don’t care if you see me naked. Obviously, you don’t care if I see you.”

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“You didn’t kick me out. I guess our boundaries are more internal.” To her he looked almost lost. He wanted to say something, but stopped himself. “Jim, you can tell me anything.”

 

“No, not yet, but maybe one day. Cal, can you promise me something?” He needed to know she really saw him. That she cared about Jimmy.

 

“Yes.”

 

“You won’t tell anyone what I told you last night.” He trusted her, but he didn’t want to be the topic of conversation.

 

“Jim, what would ever make you think I would do that?” She stood up and walked toward him. His lost look was giving way to fear. “Jim, whatever you tell me stays between us. I would never tell anyone.” Her arms wrapped around his waist. “I hope you come to realize you can always trust me.”

 

Jim was holding her in his arms before he realized it. “I need to trust you. I don’t know why, but I do.” His head rested on top of hers. “I know you aren’t ready to settle down, neither am I, but I always want you in my life. Do you think you could promise me that at least?”

 

She didn’t want to pull away. “You’re right. I’m not in the same place Len is in his life, but to be honest there is something about you. I want you in my life. I promised you, you could always trust me. Can you promise me the same thing? Can I trust you the way I trust Len?”

 

That was a hard question to answer. He knew that there was no one Cal trusted as much as her older brother. “I hope you will eventually. Cal, I’ll try to be someone you can always trust. What do you think?”

 

“I can live with that.” She held him tighter. In the past day life had become very interesting.

 

“Cal, I still need to get dressed.”

 

“Oops, sorry.” She pulled back. “You and I need to go clothes shopping.”

 

“What do you need.”

 

“Me, nothing.” She stepped back and looked him up and down. “You on the other hand need a wardrobe. I know you don’t have a lot, but besides the bonfire, you also have a wedding.  Let me have some fun. This time it is on me. Later, you can surprise me with something.” She knew he needed clothes. She also knew he couldn’t have much money. Making this a fun time for her was the best way she could think of to take care of him.

 

“Cal, I’m not stupid. I know what you are doing.” Jim was a little annoyed that Cal thought he needed her help. He also realized she was correct. He needed to do something to make more money while he was at the Academy.

 

“Okay, but let me do this. Later you can take care of me. Take the house card.”

 

Jim finished dressing and took the card. One day he would pay them back. Jim had no way to know that in the end he would give them all so much more than they knew possible. He would save all of their lives. But then, the McCoys saved him that summer.

 

“Cal, Thank you for everything.”

 

“Don’t worry about it Jimmy. We should get going. I’ll com Mama and let her know we are coming. Can you tell Len and Seri we are going?”

 

“Sure. I’ll meet you at the ‘vette.” He grabbed his wallet a put the house card in it. It was just a car, nothing more.

 

“Are you sure? I know how you feel about it?” To allow Jim to drive one of his nightmares might not be the best idea in the world.

 

“I am sure. I’ll drive. I trust you Cal. You will stay with me?” His eyes were searching hers. He needed understanding. This wasn’t easy, but with her there he felt he could do it.

 

“You can’t get rid of me, not today or tomorrow. Once you get back we’ll be living in the same house, so you are really stuck with me after that.” He needed to feel at ease. At times levity worked, Cal had learned that working with patients who had experienced trauma. During her internship she came across a man, not much older than herself. When things became too intense he would start to shut down. Cal found that levity could keep him with her, keep him from having a full-on panic attack.

 

“I’m not stuck with you baby. Stuck will never be the right word.” He kissed her on the cheek and went to Len and Seri’s room as Cal made her way down the staircase to the car. She called her mom as she waited for Jim. They would meet them at the Italian restaurant for lunch. George volunteered to take Jim to have a suit made for the wedding.  If they had it fitted that afternoon it would be ready by the next afternoon. In plenty of time before the bonfire.

 

Cal was excited about the next night. Not about the bonfire as much as showing Jim another side of their world. For some completely inexplicable reason, his opinion had come to mean a lot to her. She needed to get a hold of herself. None of her feelings for this man made any sense, and there was no way that he felt the same. Shit, they had known each other slightly less than a day. Maybe it was just his eyes that did it. No, not his eyes, his layers. Those things she doubted he allowed many to see.

 

She got in the driver’s seat of the car and waited for him. Cal reasoned that this would give Jim an easy way out if he didn’t feel comfortable driving. Luckily, she showered as soon as she came in. Jim wouldn’t have enough time to over think the trip to town. It would be good to get away from the farm and be together on more neutral grounds. Plus, Seri had asked her to check on the custom furniture. Jim would know what it was supposed to look like. Seri would need some clothes for the bonfire. Cal couldn’t wait to surprise her. Her future sister-in law would make a few of the women there jealous. Cal knew that was going to be part of the entertainment for Joce, Mama, and her.

 

Jim was going to Len and Seri’s room when he literally ran into Len. “Shit! Sorry Bones. Cal and I are meeting Mama and George in town. We wanted to let you know, we’ll be back later.”

 

“That’s fine kid. Want to do me a huge favor?”

 

Jim was suspicious. Len had that twinkle in his eye that Jim learned could mean trouble. “Sure?”

 

“Can you take Jo into town with you. Her seat booster is in the blue hovercraft. Let her pick out special communicators for her and me. That will make her day. She can surprise me, and I can try out the claw tub for two.”

 

“Oh, got it. No problem. Have fun!” Jim started for the back stairs.

 

“She is in the laundry room. Just tell her I know you have her. I really don’t want her to find our doors locked.”

 

“No problem.” Jim called over his shoulder as he started down the stairs. “Munchkin! Your dad says we can go on an adventure. Let’s go!” She came running out of the laundry room and out to the car. Jim thought that maybe he would build an enclosed walkway to the laundry room in the next few years.

 

The booster was easy to remove from the craft. Cal was in the driver seat. “Hey, I thought I was driving.”

 

“I was giving you the option of being a passenger. Munchkin is with us for the day?”

 

“Yes. I told her daddy we wanted to go on an adventure and he agreed to it.” Cal could tell that wasn’t the complete story. Knowing her brother, he needed a little decompression time before tomorrow.

 

 It was obvious that Jim wanted to drive. He needed to prove something to himself. “Ok, let me put the seat in.” It didn’t take along to install the seat and strap in their niece.

 

Jim jumped into the driver seat. His hand was shaking as he tried to put the key into the ignition. He didn’t want Jo to see that. Luckily, she was busy in the back situating herself so she was comfortable. “Cal?” His voice was a whisper.

 

Her green eyes looked over to him. She could read him, Jim was sure that with her he was safe. “It’s alright Jimmy. You can do this.” Her hand covered his. “I’m here with you. Let’s do this.” With that she helped him put the key into the ignition.

 

The car was started. The sound of the engine turning over startled him at first. “Cal, are you sure?”

 

“Jimmy, today we are just us. I’m not David McCoy’s daughter and you aren’t George Kirk’s son or Frank’s stepson. We both need to start today. What do you say?” He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek before they drove down the drive.

 

The bedroom was quiet as Len locked the two doors to the hall. He didn’t want Sara to see him in the bath with Seri. She had walked in on him dressing a few times that was no big deal, making love to his fiancé was a bit much. “Hi Peaches, I’m home.”

 

The bathroom was lit by candles. Seri wanted some time to enjoy her future husband in a relaxed environment. “Imzadi, can you throw those clothes into the hamper?” Her nose was scrunched up.

 

“You look adorable when you do that, but I see your point.” It didn’t take him long to strip.

 

“Len, can you stand there for a minute.”

 

The look of confusion was sweet as he stood in the candle light. “What do you need baby?”

 

“Nothing, I’m just enjoying the view.” His eyes narrowed as he walked toward the tub.

 

Seri was easily the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He felt her beauty the first day they met. Her physical beauty was only a small part of what he saw that day. Her soul shown through the steam of the coffee house. She still amazed him after all of the months they spent together. He hoped to make her feel as loved and safe as she did him.

 

Slowly he knelt next to the middle of the tub. A soft, thick washcloth hung over the side. “Sit up baby, let me get your back.” Seri sat up and slid forward a little with her hands on the tub edge. Slowly her back was washed with small circles and light touches. “Sit back baby.” With that he began to wash her shoulders, chest, breasts, arms, and then the legs and feet. “Don’t move. I’m not done yet.”

The washcloth was abandoned as his hand made its way between her legs. She opened to him as her eyes closed and her head leaned back onto the head of the tub. Slowly he rubbed her clit. As he built her up Len’s eyes never left her face. Nothing in the universe could ever compare to the look of his lover as she came. Seri began to moan low and insistent. “You like? What about this.” With that he inserted one finger into her and immediately found her g-spot. Her walls clamped down as she flew apart. Len knew exactly how to get her off. Her scream as she came had him hard in an instant.  

 

He took his finger out and climbed into the tub. “Nice of you to join me.”

 

He smiled at her as she moved her foot to his chest. Sometimes Seri looked like the devil when she was teasing him. Len loved that. No one wanted to fuck an angel. He wanted to have her toes in his mouth, but as quickly as they found his chest, they moved to under the water. At that moment Len discovered how talented his future wife really was. Her toes wrapped around his dick setting him on edge instantly. The way she jerked him off with her feet was firm and soft at the same time. “Damn it baby, come here. I want you now.”

 

Seri ran her feet up his shaft a few more times before she carefully placed herself on her knees hovering over him. This was the biggest tub she had ever been in and she felt that it was made just for this reason. She took him into her hand as she impaled herself on him. His sharp intake of breath told her all she needed to know. _“I love you Len. God you feel good.”_

_“I want you Seri. I just want to be with you completely.”_ With that he wrapped her tightly in his arms.

 

“Can we go slow this time? I want to be with you, all of you. Do you understand what I mean?” She looked down till his eyes looked into hers.

 

“I do. We can go as slowly as you want. But, I think the water is getting cold. Let’s go into the bedroom.”

 

“Okay.” Carefully she got up and out of the tub. He was behind her as she wrapped herself in a towel.  “Come her Imzadi.” He closed his eyes as she dried him paying special attention to his balls and ass.

 

The bed was a great idea. They could take their time. “Seri, I need to know that this is what you want. Everything has been a whirlwind. I’m not stupid; I know that taking on a ready-made family isn’t easy for anyone. You have known me for months; you are probably the only person who knows who I really am. I don’t want to lose that, but I don’t want you to be with me because you feel you are obligated to stay.”

 

“I am obligated to stay.” The gold in his eyes started to fade. “My love obligates me. I adore you Leonard, and I love that little girl. She is my daughter too. Didn’t you ever notice how I made sure to talk to her at least once a month. I thought you knew she would call me with questions when she needed to talk to a woman other than her mother. I guess Joce trusted me. Your ex and I only talked once, but she seemed nice. I didn’t get to know her until we got here, but she makes a great sister. Your mother is becoming more of a mother to me than mine ever was. So, yes, I am obligated to stay. That isn’t a bad thing. Love obligates us, but love is the reason we are here. I love you Goofy. Please don’t ever doubt that I am here because it is the only place in the universe I want to be; in your bed, in your house, in your life, in your heart.” Her hand was on his cheek.

 

“Thank you for that. I know I can be insecure at times.”

 

“At times?”

 

“Smart ass.” At least he was smiling.

 

“The other night with Ginny should have shown you the man you are.”

 

“It did, just regressing a little doctor.”

 

She pulled him to her. Nothing ever felt as good as their naked bodies coming together. “Come to me. I want to take all afternoon if that is possible.”

 

“We can try.” She took his cock in her hand and slowly moved it up and down. As soon as he was hard, he was in her. Her walls clamped around him. “Yes. Just like that.” His eyes closed slowly as he felt every sensation.

 

“Stay with me Len. Just me. We have all the time in the world.”

 

“Not all the time, Jim and Cal will be back with the tornado later today.”

 

“But we have awhile before that happens. Just stay inside me for as long as you can. I always want to remember what this feels like. Just us.”

 

“You know something? I will always remember how this feels, how you feel. I love you Seriana. That will never change.” With that he moved in and out of her slowly, building her up, feeling he clench around him, feeling her hold his soul. He leaned down until his mouth was a breath away from her ear. “I want you to cum for me. I want to hear you scream just for me. Call my name. Do it Seriana. Fuck me, make love to me. I’m not like any other man you have ever known. I belong to you. You are mine. FUCK ME NOW!”

 

Seri’s mind was held by her lover; held, controlled, loved. This wasn’t going to last all afternoon, this was going to last a life time. Her growls were primal, needy. “I belong to you. Take me Len. I’ll do anything you want, anything.” The last word was screamed as he thrust into her hard. She wanted to be taken, to be his completely. She held his eyes and growled. “Tell me what you want. Tell me.”

 

“I’m want to mark you.” With that her head snapped back as her chest and neck were exposed. “Tell me you want this. Tell me.”

 

“I want this.” With that he licked down her throat until he reached her breast.

 

“Tell me.” His growl was animalistic.

 

“I want this Leonard. Fuck me, mark me, anything.” His hand made it between her legs as his mouth covered her breasts. Teeth bit down on her nipple as his fingers rubbed her clit and his thrusts became even more forceful. Seri was flying apart. She screamed his name as he continued to fuck her as hard as he could. All of her muscles tensed as she dug her nails into his upper arms. Finally, he couldn’t hold back any longer. He filled her as if he hadn’t cum in weeks. His thrusts slowed as they both started to come down. Seri was shaking.

 

Carefully he pulled out and in one movement rolled off of her and pulled her close. “I’ve got you baby. Shhhh. You’re safe. I love you. I do love you Seriana.”

 

“I know you do Len. I love you too.” She was still shaking.

 

“What’s wrong baby? Did I hurt you?” He had her head tucked under his chin.

 

“No more than I wanted. There’s nothing wrong. I’ve never cum that hard in my life. I just need to relax.” The shaking had stopped, her voice softened to a whisper. Her breathing became steady. Len held her as she slept. She belonged to him, but he belonged to her as well. All he had, all he was, belonged to her.

 

Cal stared at Jim as they rode through the Georgian countryside. He hadn’t been behind the wheel of an antique car like this since he drove his father’s car off of the cliff. His eyes were glued to the road in front of him, and his knuckles were white as they clung to the wheel. Everything about him showed tension. She turned her attention to the back seat.

 

Her niece was oblivious to any stress exhibited by her new, and Cal would guess favorite, uncle. Jo watched the fields fly by her window as they headed to town. This was the only world she knew. Cal was grateful for that. Jo would never know the world Jim came from. Len and Joce may have made a mess of their marriage, but neither allowed their failures to affect their baby. She was a happy little girl who knew she was loved unconditionally.

 

Jim hadn’t been that lucky in his life. Left fatherless when he was minutes old, he never knew unconditional love. Her attention turned back to him. “Jim, slow down. We have plenty of time before we need to meet Mama and Uncle George.” The car slowed.

 

“I’m sorry Cal, I forgot I have an angel in the back.” His smile was a lie. There was truth in the fact he had forgotten about Jo; he never would have driven as fast as he did if he had remembered his niece was in the back seat. It was against the one thing he had promised Jo, not verbally, but he had told her soul. He would always keep her safe. No one was ever going to hurt his niece.

 

“Jimmy, it’s okay. Relax a little. I’m not Frank.” Her hand rested on his as it relaxed around the wheel. Finally, his right hand released the wheel and took hers. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

 

“I can do this. It’s just a car, right?”

 

“No, the car isn’t the issue. But you already knew that. Don’t worry, I’ll be with you through it all if you want. You are right, you can do this.” She squeezed his hand slightly but didn’t let go.

 

“I know it isn’t the issue. Maybe we can talk a little tonight. Would you mind staying with me? You don’t have to, but I don’t want to be alone. Damn, I never get like this. I’m sorry.”

 

“Jimmy, I’ll stay with you. We can go to bed early, or just sit on the couch in your room. Your choice. I’ll bring the wine.” Her smile broke the tension.

 

The rest of the drive was beautiful. Jo continued to look out her window. Every once in a while, she would tell her aunt and uncle about the different horses that they saw along the way. For a young child she had an extensive knowledge of all things equine. Jim made a mental note about what to get her for Christmas.

 

“Jim, let’s park at Uncle George’s office. His office is at the far end of the street.” They drove down to the end of town and turned into the last parking lot on the left. The sign said ‘Parking for Armistead and Associates’ clients only’. “Don’t worry, I don’t think he’ll have us towed. I’m still his favorite niece.”

 

Jim released her hand. He felt the loss of the connection immediately. This was wrong. He couldn’t fall for his best friend’s little sister. He wasn’t good enough for her; that was a given. No one falls in love this fast, he wasn’t immature enough to think he was in love, but the connection he felt to her was real. “Thank you, Cal.”

 

“For what? You would have found a parking space.”

 

“That’s not what I meant.”

 

“I know. You don’t have to thank me.” She wasn’t falling in love with this man. No intelligent woman believed that love came that quickly. She wasn’t in love, but she was connected to this man. Jim would always be a part of her, of that she was sure. “Come on Munchkin, let’s go!”

 

Jo unhooked herself and jumped out of the car. “Come on! I bet Grandma and Uncle George are inside.” She was making her way to the front of the building before Jim and Seri had closed their doors. Where that child got her energy was anyone’s guess, but Jim and Cal secretly wished they had some of it. They walked quickly to catch up with her.

 

“Okay sweetie. We’ll go in. Cal, should we get anything besides clothes for the bonfire?”

 

“Naw, Len will take care of anything. What he forgets one of the others will remember. It’s always been that way. But you know Len, he is so anal there won’t be anything missing.” They had all reached the door to the offices, but Jim and Cal had stopped before they opened it.

 

“He forgot the extinguishers for the kegs.”

 

She was shocked. “Really?! Seri must really be in his head.” Jo had already opened the door and gone into the offices.

 

“Yeah, but which one?” His eyes twinkled as the smile reached them.

 

“I know. If they keep it up, they are going to beat the birth control.” He knew why he was feeling connected to this woman, she was as irreverent as him. Jim held the door open as they entered the old brick office building.


	31. chapter 31

Inside the offices held the elegant charm of a bygone era. Two deep oxblood colored, tufted back, leather couches were on the left side of the room. They faced each other with a dark maple coffee table between them. To the right was an antique partners desk with the latest computer counsel on top. A kind looking older lady sat behind the desk. She greeted Cal and Jo as if she had known them all of their lives. Jim suspected she had, he also knew she didn’t trust people. The way she scrutinized him was slightly uncomfortable. “Hi Jojo, hi Cal, it’s good to see you both.”

 

Cal walked up to the desk as Jo went around to give the lady a hug. “Hello Mrs. Garnett. How is Mr. Garnett?” She extended her hand to the older woman who took it happily.

 

“He is well. How is Lenny? I heard he was home.” A slight look of concern had passed the woman’s face before she caught herself and regained her noncommittal look.

 

“He is doing well. This is his friend from the Academy, Jim Kirk.”

 

Jim stepped forward to shake her hand. “Oh, so you are Jimmy. I have heard a lot about you.” She smiled at Jim and stopped looking at him as if he was a weasel in a hen house. “You have impressed George. That is no easy feat, believe me. I don’t think he believes anyone is as smart as he is.” Her expression told Jim that she was mostly joking.

 

“It is nice to meet you Mrs. Garnett.” Jim was still a little nervous when meeting any of the people in Len’s life. What if they didn’t like him? Cal quietly took his hand.

 

“Mrs. Garnett, is my mom here? We were going to meet them for dinner.”

 

“Sure, let me get them for you.” Mrs. Garnett got up and started for the hallway towards the back of the room. “Jojo, do you want to come with me?”

 

“Yes ma’am. Uncle Jim, I promise I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry.”

 

Jim was taken aback by her statement. What had she noticed. Joanna was too much like her father at times. This would be both a good and a bad thing when she grew up. “I’ll be here Munchkin.”

 

Jo followed Mrs. Garnett through the hallway until they vanished up a dark staircase at the far end. “Jim, what are you thinking?”

 

“I’m thinking that that little munchkin is exactly like her father. That will be fun when she is an adult.”

 

“Afraid you won’t be able to hide.”

 

“Not afraid, positive I won’t be able to hide. There will be five of you who can see through me. Not always a good thing.”

 

“But you can see through us as well. Trust me, the McCoy family isn’t that easy to read. You just seem to have a talent for it.” Cal bumped him with a very light body check to his side.

 

“Jimmy! It’s good to see you again. And how is my favorite niece?” George had come down the steps with Jo in his arms and Mama behind him. “I took the rest of the day off. I know I’ll pay for that later Celia.” He looked at Mrs. Garnett almost apologetically.

 

“I’ll go over the DuBois case and draft a quick summery for you. Might as well put my degree to use.” It seemed Celia Garnett had a good sense of humor. It was also clear to Jim that her relationship to George was more that boss and employee. He saw woman’s eyes fixate on his and Cal’s. Jim had forgotten they were still holding hands. If he let go of Cal’s now it would seem a childish reaction. Celia smiled at him as if to say, “You hurt her and you answer to me”. Small town family was what Len would call it.

 

Mama had come around to stand between Jim and Celia. “Are you coming to the bonfire tomorrow night?”

 

“We wouldn’t miss it. Brian is getting some food together, and Kyle was going to call Len and see if there is anything he may have forgotten. It will be good for him to let loose after the divorce.”

 

“Len or Kyle?”

 

“Both. Those two boys need to have some good old-fashioned fun. Also, I know Kyle wants to meet Len’s fiancé. You know the town has been talking.”

 

“I’m surprised they haven’t been inventing reasons to come visit just to get a look at her.” The women shared a laugh at the idea that some of their town had nothing better to worry about then Len McCoy’s sex life. “What time do you think you’ll be by?”

 

“We thought six would be good. Kyle will talk to Len; see if he needs him to stop by earlier to help. George go have fun. Don’t be too tough on Jimmy. We don’t want to scare him off.” Jim knew he was right, there was more to Celia and George than a work relationship.

 

“Ok, I can take a hint. Let’s go gang. We can get dinner. After that I thought Jim and I could do our thing while the ladies have their hen party.”  Lena glared at George, from the look on his face everyone knew that was the response he had hoped he would get.

 

The party went to Zia Nina’s Italian restaurant. Cal loved it there. The restaurant always smelled of roasting garlic and tomatoes. There was a warmth and comfort to the smells that made her feel at home. Jim hadn’t let go of her hand. He was still a little tense, but that wasn’t he reason he still held on. “Jimmy, are you ok? None of us bite. Well, that isn’t exactly true, but we don’t do it in public.”

 

She really was irreverent. “No, this just feels comfortable. Cal, if we are splitting up, can you make sure Jo gets two video coms for her and Len. I know he wants the strongest ones they have. He wants them to be able to communicate when he is gone.”

 

“That won’t be a problem. By the way I don’t need my hand back until we eat. Then I think it might be a necessity.” Part of Jim wondered how much of her sarcasm had been learned from her big brother, and how much Len had learned from her.

 

He let go of her hand as they entered the restaurant. Cal inhaled deeply. The young lady at the front took them to a table toward the back of the restaurant. The lights were dimmed slightly and there was a candle in the middle of the table. The tableau reminded Jim of an old movie with an Italian setting. The place smelled amazing, and he had noticed Cal taking a deep breath. They all took their seats at the table.

 

George sat across from Jim, and Cal sat next to him. Mama sat next to George and Jo sat at the end of the table closest to her and Cal. Jo was telling her grandmother everything about her trip to town, swim in the pond, and her new chicken friends. Cal was scrutinizing the menu as Jim opened his. Shit it was in Italian. He could do this, maybe. When he looked up he saw George looking at him with a smile on his face. George reached over and pushed an unseen button at the top of the menu.  All of the words turned into English. Jim smiled. “Son, you need to start asking for help when you need it. It makes life a lot easier.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Armistead. I just didn’t want to look like an idiot.”

 

“Jim, I doubt anyone would ever mistake you for an idiot.” His face had become serious. “You know why I said we should go shopping and let the women go their way?”

 

“No sir.”

 

“I think we may need some time without all of the estrogen.” It was a joke. “Seriously, I thought maybe we could start to learn a little about each other. Lena won’t tell me anything, and frankly I wouldn’t ask her. But she loves you, I can see that. Lena doesn’t love many people. So now I am curious.”

 

“Sounds good. What’s good on the menu?”

 

“Everything, but I love the chicken saltimbocca. Also, the rigatoni quattro formaggi is excellent. Cal loves everything on the menu. Thought you should know, she steals food. When she was little she would sit on my lap and finish half my lunch. Her dad would get angry and my wife would tell me I was too permissive with Cal. Guess that is one of the reasons she is an ex-wife.” He wanted to offer a little personal information to Jim; let the kid feel a little more relaxed around him.

 

Jim smiled at him. “That would be reason enough to divorce her. I wouldn’t want anyone to keep me from my niece.” He looked over at Jo. “She really grabs your heart.”

 

“She does, a lot like her dad, isn’t she? The McCoys are good people. Not like us.” He was staring at Jim. Jim was a good person, George could feel it. He just wanted to see what the kid thought of himself.

 

“Not like me at least. You said the chicken saltimbocca was good. I’ll go with that.” He looked at George. There was a soft smile on the older man’s face.

 

“It is. And the little mooch won’t be able to steal as much.” The waitress arrived to take their orders.

 

She started with Mama who ordered for Jo and herself. As she was taking George’s order Cal leaned over to Jim. “What are you getting?”

 

“Chicken saltimbocca, why?”

 

“Just didn’t want to order the same thing.”

 

“Oh, your uncle warned me about you and food.” He glared at her then kissed her cheek. “It’s ok Honey, you can have all of it if you want.”

 

“No, just some of it.” She kissed him back as the waitress finished with George. While they waited for the food to come out they all talked about the next day, and about what they would do after Jim got back from Betazed. Jo wanted Jim to take her on a long ride to the Fisher farm. It was only a couple of miles from the family farm, but she wasn’t allowed to go that far by herself.

 

The food finally arrived. George wasn’t kidding about Cal stealing. Jim had to take some of her sausage and peppers just to fill up. Mama finished right after Jo and took her to the bathroom to clean up. Everyone else finished shortly after. George had excused himself, he wanted to pay the bill before any of them could protest. He learned the trick of faking going to the bathroom from Len’s grandfather.

 

“Cal, Jimmy, once George gets back, I’ll pay the check and we can get going. Where and when should we meet?”

 

Cal gave it some thought. “We need to get Seri an appropriate outfit for tomorrow night. You know what I mean Mama. Then I need to check on the furniture for her. Jo needs to get a surprise for her daddy. Jim, I am assuming you will do all of your shopping with George. So maybe three hours from now at the car?”

 

“That sounds like a great idea. What do you think Jim?”

 

“That should be more than enough time. Who can shop for three hours?” All three women looked at him as if he was the dumbest person in the universe. “Sorry forgot who I was talking to.”

 

George arrived just in time. “Okay everyone let’s go. When and where are we meeting?

 

Lena was the first to speak up. “At Cal’s car in three hours. You didn’t?”

 

“If you want to pay the check woman, you are going to have to be sneakier than you already are.” He kissed her and turned toward the door. “Coming Jimmy?”

 

“Yes sir.” He gave Cal and Jo a quick kiss on their heads as he left with George.

 

“He is falling in love with you baby. Don’t let him fool you. That boy can be hurt very easily. Please don’t play with him.” Lena was very serious. She knew Cal. Over the years her youngest had been with a series of men, but none for too long. She knew most of them couldn’t keep up with Cal. Her mind was fast, sometimes too fast for her own good. But she also knew Cal hadn’t taken any of her past relationships seriously.

 

“I know Mama. I know how easily he can be hurt. I know more than you think.”

 

That was the first time Lena saw it. She saw a look in her daughter’s eyes that she hadn’t seen before. Cal was falling hard. Her daughter wasn’t immature enough to act on her impulses, neither was Jim, but in the future, it wouldn’t surprise Lena if those two ended up together. “Let’s go baby. If we don’t hurry they’ll be waiting for us, and we’ll never hear the end of it.”

 

George took Jim to Henry Poole’s shop. William Poole was a descendent of Henry Poole, one of the founders of Savile Row. His grandfather had moved to Georgia around a hundred years ago. Ever since then, they were the go to shop for the best suits in Georgia. All the suits were bespoke, and you didn’t have to go to London. George and Len got all of their suits from here.

 

Jim looked completely lost in the shop. There were no suits, just bolts of cloth. “George, where are the clothes? I thought we were getting a suit.”

 

“Jim, the only suits Will has are bespoke. They are all custom made. You pick out the fabric and they make the type of suit you are looking for. Trust me this will be the best suit you ever had. Hello Will.” A man in his mid-thirties had joined them. George extended his hand. Will took it and then turned his attention to Jim.

 

He extended his hand. “Hello I’m Will.”

 

“Hello Will, I’m Jim, Jim Kirk.”

 

“Will, we are here to get the kid a suit for a wedding. He isn’t sure about what he wants, but I assured him if we did this today he would have it by the time he leaves on Sunday.”

 

“One suit? That shouldn’t be a problem. I got the new stitching machine in. It works faster and more accurate than the last one. The tailor doesn’t have to alter it quite as much. Can you get here before the bonfire tomorrow night?”

 

“Sure. You know about that?”

 

“Know about it? I’m bringing the marshmallows. Now, have you given any thought to the style you might want?”

 

“No, I just know I don’t like the ones with more than three buttons.”

 

“Are you okay with double breasted?”

 

“I have never tried one.”

 

George took a seat. Will had this in hand. “You have the right body type for it. We could measure you and then get started.”

 

For the next half hour Will took every possible measurement Jim thought he had. “You are definitely thorough.”

 

“With these measurements I can make any type of suit you want. While I plug all of these into your file you can pick out the fabric you want.”

 

Now Jim really looked lost. George joined him. “Jimmy let’s take a look at some of these.” He took Jim over to the navy blue wools. “A navy blue suit is a basic staple every man should have. It is useful for everything from a wedding to a funeral. What do you think?”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

“Jim, this is how you learn. After today you’ll know all of this. It is just something to add to your knowledge base. No one just knows this stuff. We all needed to be taught.”

 

George made him feel at ease. This was as foreign to him as the furthest planet in the universe. “What is the difference between these four? They all look the same to me.”

 

“Weight and quality. Knowing what I know about Betazed, I think a medium weight would be best. That leaves these two. Do you like one more than the other?”

 

Jim ran his hands over both of them. “I like this one. It feels softer.”

 

“Of course you do. It is the best one he has in that weight.”

 

“Maybe I should pick something else, something cheaper.”

 

“Do you want to make Lena angry? Get what you want.”

 

“Okay. This one then.”

 

Will returned with his chief tailor. “So, what do you think?”

 

“I like this one.”

 

“Excellent. Carmen will be fitting you tomorrow.” The two men shook hands. “Have you decided what type of shirt you want?”

 

Jim hadn’t thought about a shirt. Shit! “No. Do you have any suggestions?”

 

Will took him to the wall of shirt fabrics. “We have silk and cottons, but I would suggest cotton.” He brought out several different weights of both broadcloth and poplin. “Do you like either of these types of cloths?”

 

Jim felt both of the fabrics he definitely preferred the broadcloth to the poplin. George was impressed. The kid instinctively went to the best. “I like this one. I thought I could get it in white, that should work for the wedding. Does it travel well?”

 

“It can wrinkle, but I’ll give you a special bag that helps with that problem. I can definitely have this done by early tomorrow afternoon. Can you get here around one to have it fitted?”

 

“That shouldn’t be a problem.”

 

“Perfect, I’ll take it to you at the bonfire.” Jim handed him the card and everything was rung. Will didn’t question the use of Len’s card. George was with him; therefore, Will knew everything was good.

 

“Jim, can you give me a few minutes. I have an order in that I need to check.” Jim walked over to the ties.  “Will, can you also make him a two button and a three button suit. I would like the two button to be a charcoal medium wool with very small pinstripes, and the three button to be a medium weight black wool. He’ll need a couple more white broadcloth shirts and a couple of blue broadcloth ones. I all would like at least one of each of the shirts to be French cuffs. Also, can you throw in a few herringbone ones in blue, white, yellow, and pink?” He handed Will his card. It had been a long time since he had this much fun.

 

“It isn’t a problem, but there is no way these will be ready by tomorrow.”

 

“No, I just need the double breasted and one white shirt for then. I don’t want him to know about this. When he gets back from Betazed they will be in his armoire.”

 

“That I can do. See you tomorrow night Mr. Armistead.”

 

The shoe store was next door. That was considerably easier. Two pairs of dress shoes in black, one classic oxford, and one whole cut oxford. He already had work boots and sneakers, but he didn’t have any good boots. “Mr. Armistead, I didn’t realize there were this many types of western boots.”

 

George understood, if you weren’t born around it you would have no idea. “There are a lot of makers. For comfort, I would suggest Lucchese, Justin, Ariat, or Lama. Sometimes Lama runs a little narrow, but the rest run pretty true to size. You might want to pick up a pair of the HH’s for around the farm. Lena will put you to work soon enough, you’ll want to be prepared.”

 

Jim liked the Ariat and the Lucchese. The pair of Ariat he picked were a more casual black square standard leather boot, but the Lucchese were made of alligator and leather. They were two shades of brown and would go great with jeans or twill slacks. He also grabbed a pair of black HH’s. They had steel reinforced toes and would definitely come in handy around the farm. George threw a set of short boot hooks, a boot jack, and several pairs of boot socks on the counter with the boots. Jim paid for everything, grabbed all of the bags and left. “Please tell me we are done.”

 

“No, Cal said you need decent clothes for tomorrow.”

 

“Shit!”

 

“I know, but she is like her mama, you don’t want to piss her off.”

 

They went into a casual men’s’ store where Jim grabbed a few button downs, a couple tee shirts and henleys, three pairs of jeans, two pairs of casual slacks and one sport coat. “Will this shut her up?” He couldn’t wait to get out of there.

 

George threw two pairs of swim trunks, a pack of casual socks, three pairs of dress socks, and two packs of underwear on the counter. “We can but hope. This should do it.”

 

“I don’t think I owned this much clothing in my entire life.”

 

“I feel your pain kid. Lena asked me to move in. I am dreading the day she sees my wardrobe. I’m going to be drug from store to store. It is going to suck.”

 

Jim was laughing. “I wish I could see that. Mr. Armistead, I can tell you want to know something about me. All you have to do is ask. If I don’t want to answer I’ll let you know.”

 

“My name is George.”

 

“I couldn’t call you that. It doesn’t seem right somehow.”

 

“Alright, how about Uncle George? Is that any better?”

 

“Uncle George then. What do you want to know?”

 

“Let’s put all this crap into the car first.” They headed to the car. It didn’t take long for them to realize they couldn’t fit it all in the back seat and have room for Jo. “Lena and I can take Jo. I think she will like that.”

 

“Thanks.”  There was still an hour left before they had to meet the ladies.

 

“Jim, why don’t we grab a drink?”

 

“Can we go to Hancock’s first?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“I just want to look at something for Cal.” They walked up the street to Hancock’s as George tried to formulate the question he wanted to ask. “Just ask me Uncle George. It’s better to be straightforward, don’t you think?”

 

“Jim, I’m a lawyer. Did you forget?”

 

“I see your point. Ask anyway.”

 

“Are you related to George Kirk? The more I see you, the more you look like the pictures of him I have seen in the news publications.”

 

Jim stopped short. “I am his youngest. Please don’t tell anyone outside of the family. I’m not ashamed, I’m actually proud to be his son. I just don’t want to be judged as…”

 

“George Kirk’s son. I get it. Jim, you are his son, but you are also your own man. Don’t ever lose site of the man you are.”

 

“Who is that Uncle George? You tell me, because I sure as hell don’t know. I only know one thing to be true, and that is the McCoy family is home.” Jim continued to the store as George watched after him. This explained so much of what he had observed.

 

“Jim wait up.” He caught up to the kid quickly. Please remember, to me you will always be Jim Kirk. You aren’t just his son. You are you.”

 

“Thank you for that.” As good as Christopher Pike was to him, he wasn’t like George. George treated him like he was family, almost a son. Neither of them realized that in the future George would become a father to Jim. This day was the beginning of a relationship that would end up defining the both of them.

 

Mr. Hancock was behind the counter when Jim and George entered. “Hi George! It’s good to see you.”

 

“Hi Jake. Are you coming tomorrow night?”

 

“Of course. Geoff already got the rolls. Who is this?”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Jake the is Jim Kirk. He is Lenny’s best friend.”

 

Jim shook hands with the man. “It is nice to meet you sir.” Jake Hancock was a jovial man with dark blond and grey hair. His hazel eyes twinkled as he shook Jim’s hand.

 

“Have you met the McCoy girls yet? That is an adventure.”

 

“Yes sir. I have met both of them. I am actually here to get something for Cal. She has been sweet and I want to treat her.”

 

Jake exchanged looks with George as Jim began to look around the store. The first thing he noticed was that none of the prices were showing. This could get awkward. He didn’t want the Hancock’s to know his financial situation, but he would be damned if he spent anyone else’s money on her. This gift would be from him and only him. “George, him and Cal? A lot of the boys are going to be upset.”

 

George found the statement as funny as Jake did. “I don’t think so, not yet. But I think maybe one day. Jim is a tough act to beat. He is a good guy who can keep up with her.”

 

“Damn, I didn’t think that was possible.” They shared a joke only people who knew all of those involved would get.

 

Jim was still looking around. Something silver maybe. There was a display of necklaces. One of them was a simple silver anchor. Perfect, Jim prayed it wasn’t too expensive. “Mr. Hancock. May I see this one?”

 

Jake went over to the case and pulled out the anchor for Jim. “It is pretty, very Cal.” Jim turned the tag over. It was only eighty credits.

 

“I’ll take this. I think she’ll like it.”

 

Jake carefully polished the necklace and put the charm on a heavier chain before he boxed it. Cal was always breaking chains and he wanted to make sure this one would last. He had a feeling it would break her heart if she lost it. The only jewelry she wore was a pair of diamond studs her brother had given her before he left for the Academy. Cal didn’t ware any jewelry that didn’t mean something. “She will love it. I’ll see you all tomorrow night.” Jim handed Jake his card to pay for the necklace. Jake handed Jim the maroon box.

 

“See you Jake. Kiss Maria for me.”

 

“See you. Kiss Lena for me.” His smile was wicked as George jokingly glared at him.

 

“One day I’ll have a secret the entire town won’t know.”

 

“Care to place a bet on that?” George shook his head as he and Jim left. He and Jake had been friends since grade school. It felt good to have people in his life who understood him.

 

By the time they got back to the car the ladies were waiting. Cal looked happy, she had more bags than Jim thought possible. “Cal, did you buy the entire town?”

 

“No, but I haven’t gone shopping in two years. I realized I needed a few things. I also got some things for Seri and Jo.”

 

“Cal, Honey, how do you think all of that is going to fit in the car?”

 

“Clearly I didn’t think this through.”

 

“Baby, George and I can take your packages along with Jo. That should work.”

 

“Thanks Mama. Okay Munchkin, let’s get your seat in the craft.” Cal hooked Jo’s seat in and then buckled the little one into it. “See you all back home. Jim, can we grab something to drink before we leave? I’m thirsty.”

 

“Anything you want Cal. Where should we go?” She led him to a small store where they purchased two mineral waters. As they left she started to walk in the opposite direction of the car. “Where are we going?”

 

“Just down here. I wanted to show you something.” She led him down a couple of side streets till they reached a small park with a fountain. The fountain looked like a waterfall and a creek that led to a small pond. “What do you think?”

 

“It’s beautiful. Did you come here a lot?”

 

“Len took me here when we went to town. Mama always knew where to find us. It was named after Uncle George’s ancestor; George Armistead Memorial Park. His ancestor was the commanding officer in the War of 1812.”

 

“The battle at Fort McHenry.”

 

“You know it?”

 

“All appearances aside, I am fairly intelligent.” Cal was afraid she had offended him, then his eyes gave him away.

 

“Stop teasing me Jim.”

 

“I’m sorry Honey.”

 

“Why do you call me that?” He simply smiled down at her.

 

“Thank you, Cal. I’m glad you took me here.” He closed the space between them. She looked into his eyes as she moved even closer. He brought his mouth to hers as their eyes closed. His lips brushed hers, questioning, feeling. Slowly he ran his tongue over her lips asking her permission. This was a first for James Kirk. Up until that moment he was always in control of the situation when it came to women. He let them believe they were in control, and he would have stopped if they wanted him to, but ultimately, he controlled the situation. Not this time. This time it was all about Cal. She needed to tell him she wanted this.

 

Cal’s mouth opened to him. As their tongues played with each other’s Jim felt a warmth he never felt before. She was in his arms, flush with him. The breeze blew lightly through the trees as the water from the waterfall added to the peace of the moment. The warmth came from the honey. He hadn’t told her why he called her by the endearment, but it was her hair. She smelled like warm honey. Now he realized she tasted like it as well.

 

Cal melted into Jim’s embrace. Her head swam with all she had been feeling over the past day. It was crazy, she knew that, but she was enjoying the insanity. He felt like home to her, warm, safe, loving. She wanted him. Not sex, though that thought had crossed her mind, she wanted his soul. She wanted all of him. That might take years, but ultimately it was what she wanted. She wanted Jimmy, not James Kirk.

 

It felt like a life time, but it was only a few minutes before they pulled out of the kiss. Her head rested on his chest as his found the top of her head. “This is why I call you Honey. Your hair smells like the beehives at my old neighbors’ farm. Please stay with me.”

 

“I’m not leaving.” They stayed there for awhile before they went back to the car. The drive to the farm was less nerve wracking than the drive to town. “Jimmy, promise me something.”

 

“What?”

 

“What goes on between us, stays between us.”

 

“Always, but you know Seri can read my thoughts and feelings. I’ll try to block them, but sometimes she catches things.”

 

“I understand that. I just don’t want us to be the topic of dinner conversation.”

 

“We won’t be. I’ll make sure of that. Do you regret what happened?” He understood if she did; but prayed she didn’t.

 

“Not at all! I just get tired of every one knowing my business. Some things I want just for myself.”

 

“Fair enough. But you know they’ll figure it out.”

 

“I know. But let’s try to let the park be ours alone.”

 

“Done.” The rest of the ride was quiet and comfortable. She held his hand tightly. Jim knew there was something under her need to have physical contact. Eventually he would find out, but for now he enjoyed the connection. Slowly they drove up the long driveway until they reached home. Both got out and climbed the stairs. It was starting to get dark and Jim wanted to go to bed soon. Tomorrow would be a long day.

 

“Mama, we’re home!”

 

Lena and George were in the sunroom. “We are in here baby.” Cal and Jim joined them. “Jo is taking a shower and then going to bed. Seri and your brother are already asleep. I checked on them when we got home.”

 

Len had unlocked their doors before they settled in for the night. He and Seri had spent the day in bed making love and eating. He had grabbed some food and they had a picnic in the room. After their shower they settled in for the night. Jo would be up early, they wanted to be well rested before that happened.

 

“I think I’m going to turn in early as well.” Jim kiss the ladies good night. He wanted to get a shower in before Cal came knocking. It was an assumption, but he felt a safe one, that she would be at his door later.

 

“Good night Mama, Uncle George. I want to get decent sleep before tomorrow. I know there is still a lot to do before the fire.” She kissed her mother and uncle before going to her room.

 

“So, how long before those two are sleeping together? And I meant that euphemistically.”

 

“George really! I don’t know, but I know neither is ready to settle down.”

 

“Doesn’t mean they can’t have some fun with each other in the mean time. They both seem practical, so I’m not worried.”

 

“Neither am I. I think we should go to sleep as well. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. Are you staying or going home?”

 

“What do you think? Celia would kill me if I showed up tomorrow. She said I need to get my life in order. In other words, she is looking forward to me moving in here with you.”

 

“Your sister wants you to be happy. I’ll tell the kids about it tomorrow. They’ll be happy for us, I know it. For the first time in decades there will be peace under this roof.”

 

“Time to go to bed baby. If we’re lucky we’ll get to sleep in the next couple of hours.” They kissed passionately as the sun set over the cow pasture.


	32. chapter 32

Len and Seri moved his belongings into her cabin. It took less than an hour to move the clothes and the boxes. Seri took the sheets from his old bed and replaced them with the other set she had from home. Jim would need the comfort. The debriefing wouldn’t be bad, but their arrival on Earth would be. Pavel’s casket would be escorted off the shuttle by the senior crew. Jim would lead the entourage and meet Mrs. Chekov. He would be professional, but Seri knew he would need her in his head to get through it.

 

Jim walked into his new quarters with an arm full of uniforms.  It smelled like home. Seri had left a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the kitchenette counter. It took only a couple more trips for him to bring all if his belongings to his new rooms. The first night in a new bed was always disconcerting, but Jim hoped that would pass soon. He was looking forward to his new shower. His old one didn’t have multiple heads the way Len’s did.

 

The shower was what he needed after the day he had. There was a bottle of Woodford Reserve left on the sideboard. Len was definitely thinking about him. Jim poured himself a generous glass of the bourbon and placed it on the nightstand He pulled the blanket back and climbed into his new bed. _“Thank you, Kiddo. I needed this_.”

 

_“No problem sweetie; enjoy. Goodnight Jimmy. If you need me please wake me. I know what you are feeling.”_

_“I know you do. I’ll be ok. Len left a cabin warming gift. I should sleep well.”_

_“We’ll be home soon. Then we can all relax. Jim, you have been amazing during all of this.”_

 

Amazing, he had fucked everything up. Who the hell was she kidding? Nothing could change what happened, but he wouldn’t fool himself, he was ultimately responsible for all of it.

 

Jim drank as he read the few notes Spock had sent. He would talk to Seri during Alpha shift. She needed to interview Dardrok one last time before they transferred the Mylans. Once she completed the interview they would have everything they could hope to get from the interrogator. He had checked the video feed of the Mylan earlier. The inteerogator alternated from pacing to sleeping. Seri would have no problem getting any extra information he might possess. The bourbon was finished and the lights turned off. Jim fell asleep quickly. Whether or not he would stay asleep had yet to be seen, but he doubted he would.

 

Len put his clothes away as Seri placed his belongings around the cabin. His holo of Joanna was placed on his nightstand. She also replaced her sheets with the sheets she had taken from his bed. Everything needed to be as comfortable as possible if he had a chance of sleeping through the night. His mind had been taking trips to the morgue. Alpha shift was coming fast, too fast for the doctor. He had moved to the window. “Len, I’m here.” She walked behind him and tightly hugged his waist.

 

His hand covered hers. “Thank you Peaches.” He didn’t want to look at her. She would try to comfort him, and he didn’t want that. He wanted to feel the regret and the pain. As long as those feelings were alive it wasn’t over. Regret and pain were all he had left of Pavel.

 

“It isn’t true you know.”

 

“What isn’t.” The stars were moving past the window, an ever-changing pattern of diamonds against velvet.

 

“It isn’t all you have of him. Pavel wouldn’t want you to remember him with regret and pain.” She rested her head against his back.

 

“Then what else do I have? This is all I can cling to right now.”

 

“Len look at me.”

 

“No.”

 

“Remember what you talked about when I asked you to tell me about him?”

 

“No.” His voice was a graveled whisper.

 

“You talked about his laughter and trust. Remember that and the love. He loved all of us. That is his legacy. Don’t let it become one of pain and regret.”

 

Len turned in her arms and held her to him. His head rested on the top of hers. “Thank you for that. I keep losing perspective.”

 

“That’s normal.”

 

“I know, but I don’t want to go back to the fear. Please don’t let me do that.”

 

“I won’t. You need a shower and then to bed.”

 

“Yes ma’am. Care to join me?” The shower was turned to the rain setting. Warm water fell on them like a summer shower in the orchard back home. Relaxation set in for both of them. Seri realized it might be a long night for her. Len wouldn’t stay relaxed, and she could feel Jim’s stress as it bled through his dreams.

 

Jim hadn’t taken the time to come to terms with all that had happened. He may have run over it all in his head, but he hadn’t taken the time to feel anything besides anger. The counselor still did not see his name on her appointment roster. Something told Seri an official appointment would not be necessary. She would put his name in an appointment slot. The report from the appointment would need to show Starfleet that their Captain was mentally sound. “Len,”

 

“Yes baby.” He had crawled under the sheets to wait for her.

 

She threw shorts and a tee shirt on the bed. “I may have to go to Jim later. He hasn’t addressed what happened to you and Pavel, not really. He ran over things in his head, but he hasn’t…”

 

“Accepted the pain.” He understood what Jim had been doing. It wasn’t healthy, but it made sense for the leader of the men affected by what he must see as his failure. “I’ll come with you if you think it will help.”

 

“It might. It all depends on where his mind goes. Right now, his dreams are about Iowa. It won’t get bad unless they shift to Tarsus IV. That is what I am afraid might happen tonight. He hasn’t been sleeping well, and he has been avoiding feeling the loss. I put the sheets from home on his bed.”

 

“That may help. But I wouldn’t count on it.” Len got out of bed, grabbed shorts and a shirt. He put his on the chair near his side of the bed.

 

“I’m aware, but I can hope.”  They both got into the bed and held each other. In a way, this was good for the doctor. He would focus on helping the Captain, and not on the visit to the morgue. That visit would come soon enough. The less he thought about it the better. Seri just needed to get through the night. Funny how the past week had been a series of hours she just needed to get through.

 

“Peaches, how much real sleep have you gotten?” He kissed the top of her head as he gently massaged the back of her scalp.

 

“Enough. I’m okay baby.” The massage was melting her.

 

“No, you’re not, but I’ll let it go for now.” They fell asleep in each other’s arms. McCoy couldn’t understand how people chose to go through their lives alone. He had known people who refused to even entertain the thought of entering into a relationship. He would have never survived this without her love. He remembered their first trip to Betazed. He doubted she would have survived that trip psychologically if he hadn’t been there. They were bonded, and that bond made them stronger than they could ever be individually.

 

It was 05:00 before Seri was awakened by Jim’s nightmare. “Len, Len wake up. He is bad. I’m going over.” She threw on the clothes quickly.

 

Just as quickly Len was dressed. “I’m going with you. You know how he can get” They arrived at Jim’s door. He had locked the door with his command code. He wasn’t thinking clearly when he did that. The use of a command code meant even a person will his personal code would not be able to open the door. Seri tried the door code. It wouldn’t open. Len punched in the medical override code. The door slid open. “Lights 10%.” They entered the bedroom. Jim was sitting up, shaking and sweating.

 

Seri went to his side as Len stood at the foot of the bed. Jim wasn’t registering either of them. Len knew this could be a problem. At times Jim would lash out if the nightmare was bad enough. At his worst, Seri couldn’t break through to his mind. Cal was always able to break through to him. If his little sister were there, Len wouldn’t be as concerned as he was. “Seri, let me.” He touched Jim’s foot through the covers. “Kiddo, it’s me. It’s Bones. I need you to wake up now.” He moved to the opposite side of the bed from Seri and sat down.

 

Jim turned to Len. “Bones?”

 

“Hey kid, Seri and I are here.” With that Seri sat on the other side of the bed. “Jim, do you understand what I’m saying?”

 

Jim started to focus on Len. Fuck, what was he doing in the room. Jim had locked them all out. He knew this would be a rough night. He had lied to Seri. She had to know he was lying, but she had allowed him to have the lie. “I do. Bones, I am so sorry.” 

 

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. None of this was your fault, none of it.” The doctor’s tone was caring, but strong.

 

“Yes, it is. I am not a leader Bones. Tarsus IV should have proven that to me.” He was escalating. Seri had been waiting for this. She needed him to crash. “I want you both to leave me alone. You can’t fix this. No one can fix this. Why the fuck did they make me captain? They had to know I was no good. I can’t do this.”

 

Len was starting to feel helpless. His BS in psychology wasn’t enough to prepare him for this. He had been Jim’s consigliere for almost a decade, and he was good at it, but this was different. He wanted to fix everything for him. That was it, there was the problem. He wasn’t Jim’s doctor, he was his big brother. He would be of no help if he couldn’t get past this fraternal feeling.

 

“Jimmy, it’s Seri. Look at me please. Please Jim. Just look at me. Lights 40%.” Len got up from the bed and leaned with his back against the wall. He wouldn’t leave; he couldn’t, but he needed to distance himself physically from Jim. The captain couldn’t feel him, if he did he might not be able to concentrate on Seri.

 

Blue eyes that usually shown with excitement looked at her; they held nothing. No emotion registered, only hollowness shown. “What do you want? Is this what you want? Can I do anything for you? What the fuck do you want?!” He was almost incoherent. What he was saying made no sense. He had gone from it’s all my fault to, can I do anything for you, in less than a minute.

 

“Jim, tell me what you are thinking. That is what you can do for me.” Seri had switched from the soft nurturing person she usually was, to a more gestalt therapist. As a psychiatrist, Seri had a tendency to vacillate between both a gestalt and a humanistic approach. Len never had the opportunity to watch her do what she loved. This was an education for the doctor.

 

“I killed him. I’m the reason the CMO can’t work. Now I get to hear what a great commanding officer I am. The press will build me up into some kind of a hero. I can’t do this. I am not a hero, am I? I fuck up everything I touch.” He was screaming and crying. Cal, he wanted Cal.

 

“Jim, I need you to hear me. You aren’t perfect.” She tried to get him to look at her again. She wanted to know he was with her. Times like this she wished she hadn’t taught him to block her.

 

“No fucking shit!”

 

“But you aren’t a failure either.” He looked at her again.

 

That got his attention. Failure, he was living down to Frank’s expectations. He killed Kallie, he couldn’t save Pike, he left Pavel on the planet to die, and then there was Len. He was supposed to keep him safe. He was Len’s captain. Len kept him safe all these years; hell, Len had brought him back to life. This was how he repaid him. Len would never come back from this, who was he kidding?  He ruined everyone he cared about. He needed to walk away from Cal. He needed to walk away from all of them. He was no good. It would be all for the best. It was then that he lost control, he could no longer block his mind.

 

Seri was in his mind as quickly as his defensive shield dropped. Jim was losing his ability to reason. Lack of sleep and stress had taken its toll. He had been sleeping in short intervals. Only one day in the past week was he able to get over five hours of straight deep sleep. She needed to know what he was thinking because she doubted he did. “Jim, I want you to tell me what you did after Kahn attacked the Enterprise. What happened after the ship lost all power?”

 

“It doesn’t matter. None of that matters.” Len had poured cold water into a glass.

 

“Tell me why that doesn’t matter?” She kept his eyes on her.

 

He couldn’t formulate the words. “It doesn’t. None of that matters.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Seri, don’t. Please.”

 

“Jim tell me why.” She wasn’t letting him off the hook. Seri couldn’t make sense of his disjointed thoughts, but she could stop them from degenerating any further. “Tell me.”

 

“Because it doesn’t fix this. It won’t change what happened on Mylus. I wasn’t good enough. I should have listened to Len. I shouldn’t have let them split us up. He knew better. I should have known better. I fucked up. Now Pavel is dead and look at Len. That is all my fault.” His cheeks were soaked and his eyes were blood red.

 

Len moved off the wall and offered Jim the glass of water. “Take a sip. Now look at me. You wanted her to look at me. Why don’t you look?” Len’s voice was strong and in command. He was completely fixated on Jim. She could take a step back and allow the other doctor in the room to take over. He could help with this. Jim needed to hear it from him. He needed to hear the truth from the man he believed he had let down; the man he believed he destroyed.

 

Jim was shaking his head furiously. “No! I did this to you.”

 

“Look at me Jim.” Len sat on the bed and leaned down in front of Jim. “I’m here and I’m safe. Look at me.”

 

Jim raised his eyes to Len’s. “Please don’t say you forgive me. I don’t want to hear that, not from you.”

 

“You won’t hear that from me. I don’t forgive you.” Jim closed his eyes. He didn’t want absolution, but he didn’t want to lose everything either. No matter how much he believed he deserved to be alone, he still didn’t want to lose them. “Jim, there is nothing to forgive. From a diplomatic standpoint you absolutely did the right thing. You had no way to know diplomacy wasn’t on their agenda. You did what Starfleet told you to do. You tried to establish a relationship with Mylus.”

 

“Yeah, you can see how well that went. I should have taken Seri with us. She would have told us to get the fuck out of there.”

 

“Why would you take the ship’s counselor on a diplomatic mission that Starfleet had already researched? No, you did everything by the book. Even bringing me to see the new species. No, you did nothing wrong and now, thanks to you Captain, we know how far their infiltration has gone. Without you we would not have found out until it was too late. If you hadn’t gotten me out of there when you did, they would have destroyed me. They would have turned me into a weapon against all of you. I don’t know how I could have lived with that. You saved me.”

 

“I am the reason you were there to begin with. I could have taken one of the other medical doctors.”

 

“And they would have told you it was an insult; that they wanted your CMO. Jim you can try to twist this, but the truth is there is no one to blame but the Mylans.” He wanted Jim to see the truth. Seri had said something similar to this, she was right. The Mylan’s did this, not him, and not Jim.

 

Jim’s breathing was raspy, and the crying hadn’t slowed much. “None of that means anything. You can tell me that it wasn’t my fault, I can tell you it was my responsibility. Don’t try to tell me it isn’t.” Seri was keeping him from falling further down the hole he was in, but it was taking all her resources to do that, trying to help him telepathically was out of the question. Why did she ever teach him how to resist her?

 

Seri was letting Len take the lead. She had maneuvered Jim to this point. Jim needed his brother’s strength more than he needed her. Jim needed her to anchor him as best she could, but he really needed Len. He needed Len’s absolution, even if he didn’t think he did. _“Len, stay with him. I can’t communicate with you and keep him from falling further, but you are what he needs. I’m going to sit in the living room but stay in his head. Is that okay?”_

_“It’s okay Peaches. I’ve got this. I see where you wanted this to go. Maybe I can make use of my bachelor’s degree.”_ Seri knew he was trying to gear himself up for what would most likely be a very difficult night. She kissed Jim on the top of the head and left for the other room. Jim didn’t realize she left.

 

“Hey kid, I’m here. Look at me.” Jim tried, but he couldn’t stop crying. He was reaching for something; he just didn’t know what it was. It was all out of his reach. He couldn’t make it stop. Len took him into his arms. This wasn’t in the text books. Maybe it wasn’t the time to be a doctor, maybe it was the time to be a big brother. “I’m here Jim. I’ve got you.” He didn’t let go of the kid.

 

Jim hadn’t cried like this in almost a decade. He needed to give up control, to let it all out. His failures were there, all of them. How could Len still love him. He failed him. Finally, there were no tears left. His breathing had become nothing but staccato gasps. Len still didn’t let him go. “Jim, you are a leader. Even leaders need help. You aren’t in this alone. None of us blame you. Only you blame you. Stay with me, stay with your family. We know you kid. I’m here.  I’m safe.”

 

Jim’s arms found their way around Len. He needed to feel the doctor. He needed to remind himself they were all safe. “I’m sorry Bones, I’m so sorry for everything.”

 

Len gently held the back of Jim’s head as he rubbed his back slowly. The kid was beginning to calm, but there was a long way to go. “Jim, I forgive you for whatever it is you think you did or didn’t do.” He wasn’t letting go. Jim had been there for him, more times then he could count. They needed this connection. The kid was harder on himself then he ever was on anyone else. Times like this his family came together to get him through his feelings of inadequacy. McCoy continued to rub his back slowly praying this would lull him to sleep.

 

Jim became heavier in Len’s arms, his breathing had slowed, and his grip weakened. Seri appeared in the doorway. “I don’t know what you said to him, but he became calm shortly afterwards. You know he isn’t going to sleep through the night. Do you want to stay in his cabin?”

 

Slowly Jim was lowered back onto the pillow. He turned on his left side as he gripped onto the sheets. Len went to the door and followed Seri into the living room. “I probably should. I really wish Cal was here.”

 

“Do you?” Seri pulled the futon out.

 

“Not really. I don’t want her exposed to all of this. I’ll get our pillows and blanket. It won’t take long.”

 

There were some sheets in the closet. Seri made up the futon. She would stay on the futon. Jim shouldn’t be alone, not now. He needed a good night’s rest and she knew Len could get him to sleep as long as possible. She was only there as backup. The two men had been each other’s confessor and confidant for almost a decade. It was one of the things that allowed each of them to climb as high as they had in their professional lives.

 

Len had returned with their ditty bags, the blanket, and pillows. “Hey Goofy, are you staying with him?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll stay in his room, not out here. I want him to sleep tonight. His doctor has notice the captain decompensating due to lack of sleep. That is something that can be easily remedied.” Len kissed her as he went into the bedroom. This was going to be a tough night, but Jim would come through the other side stronger.

 

_“You know your sister is an adult? She will be exposed to this if she marries Jim.”_

_“I know, but let me play the unreasonable big brother for a little while longer.”_ He loved Cal and a part of him would always want to shield her from horrors of the universe. The sheets were soft and comforting as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t long before Jim started to talk in his sleep.

 

“It’s alright Jimbo. Shhhh, I’m here. Don’t worry, we are all safe.” He lightly rubbed Jim’s back. It was going to take a lot to keep him asleep. Eventually Jim calmed and fell silent. This played out several more times during the night; but in the end, Jim got a full eight hours sleep. Len was awakened by the sound of the shower.

 

The bathroom door to the bedroom was left open. Steamed poured out of the door, the water restrictions had evidently not been put back on the cabin.  Slowly Len rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Seri wasn’t in the cabin anymore. He could feel her in their room. He had gotten about six hours sleep. It was worth it, but it would make what he needed to do that morning that much more difficult. The bathroom was a sauna as he threw cold water on his face. Jim emerged from the shower, grabbed the towel and started to dry off. “Morning Bones. I’m sorry about last night.” The towel was wrapped around his waist.

 

Len dried his face on the hand towel. “Please don’t say you are sorry. You don’t need to be.”

 

“Okay.” Len looked stressed. “Do you want me there today? I can be if you do.”

 

“Thanks Kid. I need to do this on my own. I’m going early so only Joseph and Christine will be around the area. I don’t need anyone else seeing me if things go sideways.”

 

“Will Seri be there? I’m being serious, as your commanding officer I don’t’ think it is the best idea to do this on your own.”

 

“As my commanding officer?”

 

“As that, and as you friend.” He turned Len around to face him. “Please tell me she will be there.”

 

“She will. Jim, I need to do this. I’ve been imagining him in that bag, and the image keeps getting worse. I need to see him, to see what I did.”

 

“You didn’t do anything. What are you talking about?”

 

“Nothing, lets get going.” Len turned to leave, Jim grabbed him by the shoulder. He was spun back toward the captain. “Let’s go.”

 

“No, what did you mean? You didn’t put him into that bag. The Mylan’s did that.”

 

Len was looking at the ground. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have. “Ok. I need to get cleaned up. I’ll see you later.”

 

“I’ll meet you for lunch. Just us in the lounge. Does that work for you?”

 

“Sure, I’m going to talk to Joseph after I see Pavel. I want to go back to work if the counselor will let me.”

 

“You still call her the counselor?”

 

“Sometimes we use our titles for fun. Jim, I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just… I’m scared.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I don’t know why I’m afraid, but I am.”

 

“Probably because you have built this up in your mind to be worse than it is, and now you are afraid to see your nightmare. But I’m just guessing.” His smile was meant to relax Len.

 

“So, you were listening when Seri and I studied. Told you it would come in handy one day.”

 

“It has, more often than I care to admit. Go get ready. I’ll meet you at 13:00. I’ll bring the food.”

 

“Thanks Jim. You think we are crazy?”

 

“Yep! But none of this is why I think we are nuts.” He laughed at the idea, and so did Len.

 

“Thanks for that. I’ll see you then.”

 

Seri had finished her shower and was putting her hair up when Len entered their cabin. “Morning Goofy. How is sleeping beauty?”

 

“Not bad. We are getting together for lunch.”

 

“He is worried about how your morning is going to go?”

 

“I think that is part of it. I also think he needs to have one of our lunches, something to help him feel normal. We have to start getting back to normal. It has been over a week.”

 

“You want to go back to work.” It was a statement, not a question. Seri had turned to look at him. She needed to gauge his reaction.

 

“I do. Last night was the closest I have come to being a doctor this past week. It felt good. It felt almost normal.” He was steady.

 

“I understand. Let me talk to Joseph. You can’t jump into the deep end just yet. I need you to ease in slowly. After you do we will need to have an appointment. Do you understand what I am saying?”

 

“Yes, I do. I’ll do what you say, You’re the doctor.”

 

“Cute. You will need to start with simple things.”

 

“Scrapped knees?”

 

“Maybe not that simple. But major trauma is out of the question at this time.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“Len, you need to understand that if you go against my orders with regards to this I will relieve you of duty again. If that happens it will go into your record.” She was serious. This wasn’t something with which she would fool around. And what was worse she would be right.

 

“I understand. I need to try to do this. I need to have some normalcy.” He jumped into the shower. It would have to be a quick shower if they were to get to medical before the days patients began to arrive.

 

Seri dressed in her uniform and joined him in the bathroom. “Put on your uniform. Depending on how you are doing, you can do half a shift this afternoon. I’ll work from your office in sickbay.”

 

He jumped out of the shower and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you Imzadi. I need to do something. I need to stop living in my head.”

 

“Len, if I tell you that you need to stop, then you need to stop. No arguments, and no second guessing me. Can you do that? No matter what is going on, you have to follow my orders. I don’t care if you are in the middle of surgery, you need to stop if I tell you to stop.”

 

“I understand. I’ll acquiesce to your judgement.” There was no hint of sarcasm in the statement. He dressed quickly and they left for medical. She took his hand as they made their way down the corridors. Their minds were joined, their hands gave them the feeling of being grounded. At the door to medical he released her grip. The door slid open and they entered.

 

Everything about the medbay felt familiar, the lights, the sounds, and the smells gave him the feeling of control. Joseph came to join them. “Hi Len. Seri said you wanted to see him. I sent the others to work on the auxiliary stations. It is just us for now.”

 

M’Benga had taken care of everything. He was ready to be CMO on a starship, but he preferred to work on the Enterprise under Leonard. McCoy had taught him about more than medicine and surgical technique, he taught him what it meant to be responsible for hundreds of souls. Before the Enterprise, before McCoy, Joseph had been a good surgeon. His technique was as good as any trauma surgeon in Starfleet, but he was always one step behind the great Dr. McCoy. After serving on the Enterprise for a few months he understood why. The CMO was slightly better than him technically. He had more experience as a trauma surgeon, that translated into a more elegant technique. But that wasn’t the only reason he surpassed M’Benga.

 

One day Joseph was in the medbay with Leonard. One of the engineers was brought in with second and third-degree burns. The crewman was sedated before the pain would send him into shock. Joseph followed Leonard’s lead: assessment, medication, debridement, dermal regeneration. He watched everything the CMO did and assisted with much of it. There was nothing groundbreaking in what was done; it was a textbook case. Slowly Leonard woke the engineer; that was when M’Benga saw what made Leonard McCoy the best Starfleet had.

 

The engineer couldn’t have been more than nineteen years of age, a boy really. As soon as the kid realized where he was he began to shake uncontrollably. The monitors showed no indications of shock or infection, it was a fear reaction. M’Benga was ready to administer an antianxiety medication when Len stopped him. McCoy was known for being gruff and to the point when it came to his job; that made what happened next a surprise.

 

McCoy pushed a stool close to the bed then slowly ran his fingers through the kid’s hair. His voice had become soft, almost a whisper as he sat close and explained what had happened. He assured the boy that he would be okay and that the worst was over. The CMO didn’t leave the bedside and continued his physical contact until his patient was asleep. A nurse was assigned to keep an eye on the boy until he woke up and was told to contact the doctor if the kid needed anything. That was the difference between them, he saw it then. Len cared, he called all of the patients by their first names and tended to their psychological as well as their physical needs.

 

That evening he took inventory of the ways he interacted with patients. Technically he was good, but was he a good doctor? Joseph had been forced to admit he wasn’t. The next day he set up an appointment with his commanding officer. The CMO became a different person during their conversation. He became Len and ceased to be the CMO. They talked about what it meant to be a good doctor. They talked about Len’s grandfather and all the man had taught him about what being a doctor meant. They talked about Joseph’s stern father; how he taught his son to treat others with indifference.  It was then that Joseph began to change his approach to his profession, and to life. That was the day he became a real doctor. He had many opportunities to leave the Enterprise, but a promotion wasn’t enough to entice him away from this family. He owed all he was to the man he called his friend. If he could help Len through this he wanted to be there for him.

 

Seri looked at Joseph as she walked to Len’s office. She would feel if he needed her. She turned back to the two men. “Joseph, can I see you later today? I have something with which I need your help. It won’t take long”

 

“Sure Seri. When is good for you?”

 

“13:00, I’ll bring lunch.”

 

Len was staring toward the morgue. Joseph walked up behind him as Seri disappeared into the office. As much as she wanted to be there for the man she loved, she knew he needed to do this without her. He needed her to step away and let him do this on his own. If he needed her she would know. For now, Joseph had things under control.

 

“Len, let’s go.” He put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It will be alright. Come with me.”

 

Leonard felt glued to the floor. His legs wouldn’t work. Where was Seri? He needed her. Why wasn’t she there. “Will it? This is all my fault. You know that, right? This is all because of me.” His breathing had quickened as his heart rate increased.

 

Joseph saw the fear, knew what he had to do. He positioned himself between Len and the morgue. “Len look at me.” Len continued to look past the doctor to the door at the back of the medbay. “Look at me.” His had rested on his friend’s shoulder. This turned his attention from the door to Joseph. “None of this is your fault. I understand why you feel the way, but it isn’t.”

 

“That is what Jim said. I just can’t get past the feeling that I could have made better choices. You know what I did, you have to know. Maybe I could have done things differently. If I had Pavel wouldn’t be in that bag.” His eyes began to fill with tears. Joseph had never seen him like this.

 

“Do you want to go over my findings before you see him? I think you might find them enlightening.” He needed Len to understand that no matter what he had done, Pavel would have died. He would have died within the hour even if Len hadn’t hastened things.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I want to know.”

 

“Then listen to what I have to tell you. You may have hastened the inevitable, but the outcome was inevitable. That boy could not have survived what they did to him. Even if you got him up here, he had far too much damage for us to have been able to stabilize him. He was dead before you did what you did, his heart just hadn’t stopped yet.”

 

Len listened to everything his friend told him, but he hadn’t understood any of it. “I killed him Joe. I did it. I took his cross and…”

 

“I know what you did. And I am telling you that after examining him, you only took the pain away. He was dead anyway. Len there was no way you could have saved him. If you didn’t do what you did, he would have died alone and afraid. You saved him that. Come with me.”

 

Len followed Joseph to the morgue door. “I can’t go in.”

 

“Yes, you can. I know how strong you are. You can do this.” He opened the door and held it for Len to step through. Len stepped into the room but stopped as soon as he entered. The door closed behind them. M’Benga walked to the far side of the room and opened the door to one of the refrigerated compartments and pulled out the metal slab with the bag on it. “Len, come here. It will be okay.” He held out his hand as an invitation.

 

Len walked slowly across the room. He felt like he was in a nightmare and prayed he would wake up.  But, it wasn’t a nightmare. It was reality, nothing would change that. His hand shakily held the zipper pull. “I need to wake up.”

 

“Do you want me to open it for you?”

 

“No. I need to do this.”

 

“Do you want me to stay.”

 

“Could you? I’m scared Joe.”

 

“I know you are, and it’s alright. I’ve got you. We’ve all got you.” He came around the other side of the slab and placed his hand over Len’s. Slowly they unzipped the bag together. “There you go. Pull back the top when you are ready.” Joe’s voice was soft, caring.

 

“I doubt I’ll ever be ready.” With that he pulled back the black top to the body bag. Years ago, he looked down at a similar sight, but that time it was Jim. He couldn’t take his eyes from Pavel’s face. The kid’s eyes were ever so slightly opened as was his mouth. His skin was pale, even paler than when he was alive. He had been cleaned up, but the lacerations were still visible. Len let his fingers trace the one on his throat. “I’m sorry kid. I am so sorry. I know you wanted me to do it. I know that, but I am so sorry. Jim talked to your mother and Mama about what happened. Don’t worry, we’ll always be there for her. Mama will be there with her when we get to Earth. I’ll tell Joanna all about you. She will know everything about her Uncle Pavel, but maybe I’ll save some of those stories until she is older. I don’t think you want her to know about the Orion twins yet. Seri and I are getting married as soon as we can. She wants to have my children. Too bad you aren’t here to talk her out of that foolish desire.” His fingers ran through Pavel’s hair. “I won’t ever forget you. Someday, maybe we’ll be together again. Until then, I thought we could talk every once in a while. I will always need you in my life. Like I told you that day, I love you Pavel. That will never change.” He kissed the kid’s forehead as tears streaked his cheeks.

 

Shortly after M’Benga had left the room Seri moved to wait outside the door. When she felt him ending his time with Pavel she quietly entered the room. “Len I’m here.”

 

“I know. I know you are always with me.” His hand went to the zipper as he pulled the top over the bag. Slowly he zipped the bag closed and pushed the slab back into the refrigeration unit closing and locking it before he could think too much. His hands didn’t leave the front of the door to the unit. Seri’s hand gently pulled his away as she drew him into her arms. Silently he cried into her shoulder. He did it. It was over. Pavel was gone. He needed to go home. Only there could he heal.


	33. chapter 33

Cal took a long hot shower. Jim had asked her to stay with him for the night, but she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. She wasn’t sure about a lot of things. It would be best if she went to bed alone. The rice bed was her favorite. It had been in what was now Jim’s sitting room. One day she would tell Jim that his living room was her childhood bedroom. One day she would tell him everything.

 

Len’s tee shirt made the perfect nightgown. The one she stole fit her loosely and hung to mid-thigh. The bed was turned down and the fireplace in her room was turned on. The rug in front of the bedroom fireplace was sheepskin from New Zealand. She felt the softness of the long wool on her legs as she sat in front of the fire and sunk onto its pile. It felt comforting and warm, the way it felt in Jim’s arms. The fire danced in front of her, lively and intense, like Jim’s eyes. Everything for her came back to Jim.

 

A large hand encircled her waist. Jim had knocked on the door several times before he entered the room. What he found didn’t completely surprise him. Cal curled up on the rug, her malachite eyes reflecting the flames. “I thought I’d come by and say good night. Care if I join you?” He sat on the rug next to her, legs stretched toward the fire.

 

Without a word she curled up toward him, laid down, and put her head in his lap. She continued to watch the flames. Jim played with her hair. His fingers raked through the waves gently lulling her into a state of relaxation. “I’m sorry. I was supposed to come to your room. I didn’t think it would be a good idea.”

 

“Do you want me to leave?” The words were chosen carefully. He knew he should leave, he also knew he didn’t want to go. Things were moving fast, maybe a little too fast.

 

“No. I need you to stay, even if it isn’t the best idea. Jim?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Do you have any questions for me? I told you, you could ask me anything, but you haven’t asked anything.”

 

His fingers stopped playing with her hair and began to stroke her arm lightly. “Cal, I don’t know what to ask. I only get one question so it has to be a good one. I would love to know why you were crushing my hand in the car, but I don’t want to waste my one question on that. I want to know why you feel the need to prove yourself to people you don’t really know or care about, but again I’m not wasting my one question on that.”

 

“How do you know I feel I have to prove myself?”

 

“You said past boyfriends thought you ran over them. I assume they meant intellectually. You don’t do that with me, therefore I have to assume you do it with men you don’t care for that much. Men who you equate with…”

 

“My dad. I tend to go for men that resemble him or act like him. So, I tend to pick assholes. And before you ask, none of them were particularly intelligent. I wasn’t good enough to get a man like my brother.”

 

“Get a man?”

 

  
“I don’t mean it that way. It is just…I don’t know. I just don’t want to be in this alone. I want something.”

 

“You want a partner, a friend.”

 

“I guess.”

 

“You know you’ll meet a lot of people when you go to the Academy. You’ll make a lot of friends.”

 

“Really? How many have you made?”

 

“There’s your brother and Seri.”

 

“And who else?”

 

“No one else like them, but there are three others that I am friendly with. One is pretty young, but he is a sweet kid. Why?”

 

“I guess I’m just scared. I don’t like being alone. I’ve been alone for the last few years. That was why I wanted to come home, maybe why I want to go to the Academy.”

 

Jim turned her in his lap until she looked up at him. “Cal, you have never been alone. You know that?”

 

“It doesn’t feel that way. There is Len, but he is gone most of the time.”

 

“Cal? When are you going to stop lying?”

 

She all but jumped up, angry and hurt. “I was trying to tell you how I felt! I don’t lie! Why would you say that to me?” She was on the verge of tears.

 

“Because you are lying. You aren’t afraid of being alone.”

 

“I am! Get out!” She was standing over him. How could he say those things to her? How could she have let him in? She wanted him to leave, but he wasn’t moving.

 

“You are lying to yourself. Sit down. Please Cal, just hear me out.” She sat next to him, not touching. “You say you are afraid of being alone, I think you are afraid of not having someone with you who is an equal. I’m looking at you, you will only be alone as long as you want to be. You could get any man you want. But that isn’t you. You want to be with someone you respect, someone who, as you said, can keep up with you. I think you would rather be alone than be with someone you don’t respect. Or am I wrong?”

 

“No, you aren’t wrong. I didn’t respect any of them. Can I tell you something?” She laid down; and placed her head back in his lap.

 

Jim resumed rubbing her arm. “Honey, you can tell me anything.” He stopped short of what he wanted to say. Part of him wanted to tell her he loved her. But that would be stupid. No one fell in love that quickly.

 

“I have had more than a few one-night stands. I get off, and then I’m gone before they wake up. I don’t want to talk to them. I don’t want to fake giving a damn.” There was silence; not even the breeze could be heard through the open window. “Not who you thought I was, am I? Please say something. You must think I’m awful.” She couldn’t turn to look at him. His look of disappointment would be too much for her.

 

“Cal, look at me.” She shook her head. “Alright, then at least listen to me. Do you ever promise them anything, or tell them you love them?”

 

“No! I would never do that.”

 

“Now I know why we get along so well.” She turned to look up at him. He was looking down at her, with a smile that went to his eyes. They sparkled in the firelight, full of love and mischief. “You and I have a hell of a lot in common.” With this he leaned down; gently kissed her. “I will never treat you that way; but, trust me when I say that I have never had a relationship, though I do enjoy the ride. Never promise anything and no one get hurts. That’s what I feel.”

 

“I don’t want that to be us either. I will never treat you that way. But I’m not ready to settle down yet.”

 

“I know that. I’m not either. We talked about that. Cal, can you sit up and close your eyes?”

 

She didn’t know what he was up to, but she followed his instructions. “You aren’t going to be naked when I open my eyes, are you?”

 

“Would it matter? Nothing you haven’t seen before.” He reached into the pocket of his shorts and pulled out the box from Hancock’s. “Open your eyes.” Her eyes opened and immediately saw the maroon box. Cal’s eyes got wide. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing big. I just wanted to…”

 

She kissed him, melting into him. Whatever it was she would love it. It was from Jim. The box was gently opened. Her eyes widened, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Nothing had made her this happy. That wasn’t completely true, but when Len gave her the earrings it was because he was leaving Georgia and her. There was a sadness attached to that. This was different. She fingered the anchor. It was simple but elegant. Not flashy, it reminded her of the man Jim was under everything.

 

“Jim, put it on me.” She handed him the necklace and turned around as she pulled her hair to the side. Carefully he placed it around her neck and fastened the clasp. A kiss was placed on the back of her neck over the chain. “I’m never taking it off. They won’t make me get rid of it at the Academy, will they?” Cal turned to Jim, visibly upset at the idea.

 

The back of his hand lightly drug down the side of her cheek. It was as soft as a rose petal. “No baby. Just put it under your uniform. They are okay with that.”

 

“Good, this way you are always with me. Do you think that is silly?

 

“No, I understand that feeling.”

 

“Do you have anything like that?”

 

“No.” There was a sadness to his voice. Her hand came to his cheek. He leaned into it. “Do you really like it? If you don’t you don’t have to ware it.”

 

“You are my anchor. I hope one day to be yours.”

 

“You are Cal. That was why I picked it. You are mine.” Without asking permission she sat in his lap, her legs draped to either side of his hips. Her fingers combed into the hair at the nape of his neck. Lightly, so light it felt like a soft breeze. He needed her to stop. If she didn’t there was going to be a problem. “Cal you need to stop. Please get up. This isn’t a good idea.” She moved, but not the way he wanted. Her head was on his shoulder close to his neck; so close he could feel her breath as it played on the spot where his jaw met his ear.

 

“Are you sure you want me to get up?”

 

Jim’s hand had moved itself under her shirt. The skin on her back was as soft as her cheek. He rubbed slowly up and down her spine. His face pulled back from her. Those eyes, as green as the malachite in his mother’s bracelet, but with a softness he had never experienced before tonight, pulled him in. “No.” His voice was a whisper. “But if you don’t, this could go too far. We haven’t known each other that long.”

 

“Jim, you know me. Not everything yet, but you know me. You know me better than almost anyone has ever known me. “

 

“I can’t make you any promises. I can’t do that, and I don’t think it is fair to you.”

 

““I’m not making you any promises. There are too many things in our future for that. Though maybe, I can make you one promise.”

 

“What is that?”

 

“If I meet someone that I may become serious with, I’ll let you know.”

 

“I can do that too. But that is all I can promise at this point in my life.”

 

“Then do you still want me to get up?” Her fingers hadn’t stopped playing with his hair. The stimulation and the small movements she made as she shifted on his lap were taunting him. He wanted her, but if he was honest with himself he wanted more than just her body. He told her he couldn’t promise fidelity, but he doubted his soul would ever reach out to another woman the way it did her. He doubted that he would ever want another woman the way he wanted Caroline McCoy.

 

“No.” Softly he ran his lips over hers. He wanted to taste her, to lose himself in her. His arms pulled her closer to him. Her legs wrapped around his hips, as her fingers moved through his hair. Her tongue danced across his bottom lip. Jim opened to her. Not just his mouth, but all of him. Their tongues caressed each other as they memorized exactly how the other tasted. She wanted to lose herself in him, become a part of him. They pulled apart. Eyes searched for answers. Fingers danced over skin; feeling, memorizing.

 

Cal was lost in his touch. She wanted to feel him; to commit to memory how every muscle felt as her hands skimmed along his sides. “Jim?” Cal voice was soft, loving. She didn’t want to break the spell of the moment.

 

“What is it Honey?" Her hair reflected the flicker of the fire, like lit coal. Nothing in his life had prepared Jim for what he was feeling? It wasn’t lust, that feeling was all too familiar. This was different. He never wanted it to end.

 

“Nothing, I don’t know, I just…”

 

“I understand. I feel the same way. Can I take your shirt off?” He wanted her permission. He wanted her to know she was safe with him.

 

“Please. Can I take yours off?”

 

“Yes. Tonight, I am yours. I’ll do anything you want. Just tell me what you want me to do. Tell me Cal, just me.”

 

No man had ever asked her what she wanted. Sex had been perfunctory at times, gymnastic at others. It was enjoyable, but this was nothing like any of her past experiences. She was nervous; as if she was a virgin feeling everything for the first time. “I don’t know what I want. Jim, this is all new to me. I’m not a virgin, but I feel like I am. I feel like…I don’t know.” Tears began to well in her eyes.

 

Jim’s fingers brushed away her tears. “I know exactly what you feel. If you need to stop we will. I don’t care what we are doing, I’ll stop if you want me to stop.”

 

“I never want you to stop. I want to be with you. I need you. I...” She stopped herself. She wouldn’t say she loved him. It was too soon for that. Her hands grasped the hem of his shirt and slowly pulled it over his head. Gentle fingers ghosted over his face. She closed her eyes to allow herself to feel every muscle, every dip. Her hands moved from his face down his torso. His body was perfect; hard, defined, toned. Cal’s mind repeated the same phrase over and over; hers, tonight he was hers.

 

Jim gently removed her night shirt. Damn if she wasn’t the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her small waist led to slightly fuller hips. Her breasts sat pink and perfect. He wanted to take them into his mouth, to taste her. But this needed to take all night. Unlike all of his other encounters, this one was going to be slow. He wanted to feel everything. If he could, this would last for days. He brought his face to her neck and began to kiss her slowly, licking, tasting. Her moan encouraged him.

 

Cal couldn’t get enough of the feel of Jim’s lips and tongue on her neck. Until he began she didn’t realize how sensitive her neck was. Her breasts crushed against his chest. The warmth of his skin coupled with the attention he paid to her neck was making her wet. Without realizing what she was doing, Cal began to circle her hips on his lap. She moaned into his ear. His smell was amazing, patchouli and something else. Maybe it wasn’t something else, maybe it was just Jim.

 

“Cal, what do you want?” His mouth was near her ear. She smelled like honey and him. He wanted to bury himself in her hair, bury himself inside her. He wanted to feel all of her. He wanted to know if she tasted as sweet as she smelled. Her kiss was sweet, what about the rest of her. The shorts were starting to hurt. His cock strained against the material. Hard-ons had never felt this intense. “Honey, I need to move.” He hoped adjusting himself would help the pressure in his groin.

 

“Take off your pants.” Thank God! His shorts were quickly discarded as he stood up. His cock was quickly in her hand as she stood up in front of him. He stopped her, if she continued he was going to make a fool of himself. Her hand on his dick was better than any fantasy he had, even as a young teen. She was better than any of the fantasy women in the porn holos.

 

“Not yet. I don’t want this to be over too soon. Please Cal, I want to take my time with you. I want this to be about you.”

 

About her? What did that mean. She didn’t understand. In the past she had to work to get off before they did, or she would be left unsatisfied. “What do you mean Jim?”

 

He pulled her against him. He buried his nose into her hair. “I want this to be about you. Trust me baby, I will have a good time. I’m closer than you think, closer than I want to be. Just holding you, smelling you, feeling you is getting me harder than I thought possible. Let me show you what you mean to me.” With that, he began to kiss down her neck until he reached her breasts.

 

Jim fell to his knees in front of her.  He kept his eyes on hers. Permission was needed before he did anything. Her eyes told him how much she needed him, wanted him. His index fingers looped into her pink striped panties. She bit her bottom lip as he pulled them down her leg, their eyes never left each other’s. He stood up and captured her lips as her hands found their way to his ass. She might have to wait for what she wanted the most, but there was nothing to stop her from touching everything else.

 

His tongue started at her ear and came around to the front of her neck. Cal lifted her chin giving him easier access. Her fingers carded through his hair. All she wanted was him. All she could feel was him. The world melted away and all that was left was Jim. Before she realized it, he had her left breast in his mouth; sucking, licking. His other hand played with the nipple on the right one. The sensation went straight to her core. She could feel her juices start to drip down her legs. Cal had never been this wet in her life. “Fuck Jim. I need to touch you. Please, I need you.”

 

He was on his knees again. “Not yet baby. I’m not done playing. I want you to come at least twice before I do. Tonight, you’re mine. I’m going to make love to you until you can’t stand.” His voice was a little more than a growl. No man had ever talked to Cal like that. She was always the one in control. Jim was unlike any of the others. Maybe it was because he was the first **man** she had been with. None of the others were adults. The man on his knees in front of her was her equal, a grown man who could keep up with her. Cal had never been this turned on. She wanted him to fuck her, but he didn’t want to fuck her, he wanted to make love to her. What did that mean? Caroline McCoy was about to find out.

 

Jim’s hands rested on her hips before he moved them down her thighs. He moved his thumbs in between her legs asking her to open for him. She opened without hesitation. He was close to trembling. When they first met he never imagined he would be in this position; never imagined that he could fall in love with his best friend’s baby sister. She was perfection in his eyes, and he was about to touch perfection.

 

Jim parted her folds. She was more beautiful than he imagined. He wanted to taste her; she had to taste like honey. Jim wasn’t disappointed. His tongue flicked her clit before he moved up both of her folds. Cal felt her legs start to shake. She kept her hands in his hair as he licked and sucked on her. Her folds were swelling, Jim knew she was close. He wanted to have his mouth on her when she came, but he was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to stand once her orgasm hit. “Let’s lie down Honey. Come here.” Cal laid down on the rug. “Give me a minute.”

 

Cal wined as Jim walked into her bathroom. He came out with a towel. “Trust me baby, you’re going to need this.” He placed the folded towel under her ass.

 

“Come here Jim. I need to taste you.” He leaned down to kiss her. He tasted like both of them. Cal could feel her juices running between her cheeks. Thank God he got the towel, she liked her rug. Her legs parted without him even asking. Jim’s hand reached between her legs and rubbed her clit as he kissed her with all the passion he felt. Their tongues tangled as he inserted one finger into her. She broke the kiss with a sharp intake of breath.

 

“I’m sorry Cal. Did I hurt you?” Jim’s eyes were the size of saucers. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her.

 

“God no. Do that again.” Her eyes closed as her head tilted back. Jim slid down her body. His finger curled toward the front of her walls as he pumped it in and out. He wanted to find her g-spot. It only took him a couple of tries before her back arched off of the carpet. He smirked; found it. His mouth was back on her center as he continued to work his fingers. He was hitting her spot every time. His tongue licked her folds as he felt her walls begin to spasm. She was almost there. He couldn’t wait. He sucked her clit hungrily as he inserted another finger.

 

Cal flew apart. Her juices flooded his tongue as she moaned his name. He couldn’t move his fingers her walls wouldn’t allow it. “Jim, I can’t stop. I can’t stop.”

 

“Good.” He watched her face as she rode out her orgasm. There was a truth in a person’s cum face, a look into who they were when all the pretense was removed. Jim believed that. If his theory was correct, then Cal was everything he believed she was. Intense and focused, she was also beautiful to her soul. His erection was painfully hard. He wanted her to cum at least once more before he did. He wanted to see her into her once more before he got his release.

 

He didn’t give her much of a break before he put his fingers into her again. Her eyes flew open. “Jim, what are you doing?”

 

“I’m not done yet, and neither are you.” With that he curled his fingers again. Almost instantaneously her nails dug into his back. He didn’t realize she would cum that fast, but she was holding on to him as tight as she could, as she screamed his name. Her walls clamped onto his fingers as she squirted again. Slowly she came down, but she wouldn’t let go of him. She wanted him as close to her as he could get. Nothing like this had ever happened before. Cal couldn’t believe how many times she thought that. But Jim was different.

 

“Jim, is it my turn yet?” Her smile was devilish. Jim rolled them until they were both lying on their sides facing each other. He ran his finger through her hair. The fire light danced in his eyes. Cal teased him, called him blue eyes, but now she wanted to drown in those eyes. Her hand reached between them. His dick felt like silk in her hands; heavy, thick, throbbing. “Mine.” She kissed his neck and began to lick and nip at his nipples as she slowly jerked him off.

 

Jim was almost there. He need to be inside her. She was so tight, he wanted to feel her clamp around his dick. “Please Cal, please I need…” He couldn’t finish the sentence. Cal was rolled under him as she spread her legs. He reached between them and lined himself up with her. “Tell me you want this. I need to hear you say that.”

 

Hands touched his cheeks forcing him to look her in the eye. “I want this Jim. I want you, all of you. Not just physically, I want all that you are.” With that Jim entered her, allowing her to stretch around him. Once he was in her he remained still. He wanted her to completely adjust, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t cum too soon. Slowly he built both of them up until they were sweating and Cal had her legs wrapped tightly around his waist.

 

“Cal, damn. I can’t…I need…Aghhhhh!” He came harder than he thought possible. He couldn’t stop cumming. She could feel the warmth as he filled her. Cal came again, her walls holding Jim. Her nails scratched down his back, the pain pushed him even higher. Finally, he collapsed on her. He didn’t want to crush her, but he couldn’t move.

 

Cal held him, as her hands lightly rubbed his back. This was what she had dreamed love would be. This was all she wanted. Intellectually she knew she wasn’t ready to settle down, and trying to would be a disaster, but one day this was what she wanted. “I have you Jimmy.” He was shaking. “It’s ok. I’m here.”

 

Jim had no idea why he was shaking, but he couldn’t stop. “I’m sorry Cal.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know why I’m shaking, but I can’t stop.”

 

“Fluid loss?” She smiled at him. He pulled out of her and rolled them over.

 

“Maybe.” The shaking subsided. “We should lock the door.”

 

“Definitely. I will not be the one to have the sex talk with Jo.”

 

Jim’s smile lit up the room. “Thank you.”

 

“Excuse me? Thank me for what?”

 

“For seeing me. I could see your eyes. You saw me. No one has done that before.”

 

“No one? With those two down the hall I find that hard to believe.” Her finger traced along his hairline.

 

“They do but seeing me the way you have is different. I need you Cal. I need you to see my soul.”

 

“I do Jim. I love what I see. You are a good man.”

 

With that Jim felt his walls being completely torn down. He wasn’t a good man. That was what he was told all of his life. How could she think he was good? How could any of them think he was good? Cal wiped his tear away. “I’m not Cal. I’m really not. If you knew what I had done you would hate me.”

 

“But I have seen into you the way you have seen into me, and I know you are a good man. No matter what your past holds I know that the man in front of me is good.”

 

Could he tell her? He had known her two days. Two days! What the fuck was he thinking?! Then he looked into her eyes again. She did see him. She saw the part of him that even Len hadn’t seen. “I need to tell you something. You know I never call you Callie even though that is what everyone else calls you. I’m going to tell you why.” He told her everything. She knew about Tarsus IV, now she knew about Kallie. He told her every detail, even how he felt Kallie’s warm breath cease. She never flinched, never took her eyes from his. She said nothing.

 

Jim finished, his eyes dropped to the rug in between them. At least they had tonight, a memory he could hold on to. Cal lifted his chin to look at her. “Jim, you are a good man. Don’t doubt that. Part of you died to save her. You hurt yourself for your cousin.”

 

“Now you sound like your brother and Seri.”

 

“Well I am his baby sister. But he is right, and you won’t hear me say that often.” She poked his nose trying to get him to smile. “Did you think I would hate you? I doubt that would be possible.”

 

Jim held her to him. He had been terrified to tell her about his past, but now she knew everything. He was safe. “We should get cleaned up.” Cal locked the door to her rooms as Jim got the shower ready. He had grabbed the towel and draped it over the hamper. He would throw it in the hamper in the morning after it dried. The shower was warm as they washed each other. Jim held her close, as he reveled in the feeling of contentment. He had never felt this safe, never felt this at home.

 

They climbed into bed. Cal had put the softest cotton sheets Jim had ever felt on her bed. She draped her arm over him and traced his pec with her index finger. “Jim, what are you thinking?”

 

“Well, first I am thinking that I probably want to be out of here before your brother wakes up. But I am also wondering about your car.”

 

“I was wondering when it would dawn on you. Not particularly observant are you Blue Eyes?” She was smiling up at him.

 

“Very funny. Usually I am extremely observant. Now, how come you have a back seat? I know my dad’s car didn’t have one, and it was the same year. Also, this better not be my one question. Remember, you wanted to know what I was thinking.”

 

"Don’t worry, it isn’t. When Len bought it, it looked like it had been driven off a cliff.” Her eyes sparkled. She loved teasing him. “He worked on it for three years before it was finished. Dad hated it, said working on cars was beneath a McCoy. Anyway, when he was finishing the chassis he decided to change it up. Please don’t ask me how he did it, but he eliminated some of the trunk, cut the back and added a seat.  There is another chassis in the garage, he has talked about restoring the car to it’s original condition. He told me he would use the other chassis, restructure the frame and make it look like new.  I think he is waiting until Jo is older and doesn’t fit in the back anymore. No adult with legs could sit back there. The trunk holds the spare tire, the jack, and a jumper pack. I doubt anything else would fit in there.”

 

“I didn’t know Bones liked to work on cars. He probably is waiting for Jo to get bigger.  Funny, the way he talked, I thought it was your car.”

 

“It mostly is, but for now it belongs to both of us. Ginny never liked it. Len can’t fit in it if the roof is up. I doubt you would either.”

 

“I doubt it. He and I are almost the same height. It would be a tight fit.” Cal had been running her fingers over his chest and stomach. It was relaxing, almost hypnotizing. “We should get some sleep baby.”

 

“Yeah, there are still a few things to do before the bonfire, and I know you have to go into town for one more fitting. But we will need to sleep in if we are going to last all night.” Sleep came quickly for both of them, and for the first time in years Jim slept soundly through the night.

Seri woke to the sound of the rooster. She had fallen asleep relatively early, but even so this was too early to be up. The bed was soft, and Len had said they needed to sleep in. But the damn rooster wouldn’t shut up. How could Len sleep through the racket? Coq au vin could be on the menu if he didn’t shut up. “You know Peaches, he also does that every time he gets laid.” Len was barely awake, but he still found her irritation amusing.

 

“I am thinking about quiet ways of putting that asshole out of my misery.”

 

“I’m aware. Just an aside, he is only a year old.”

 

“I shouldn’t kill him because he is still a baby?”

 

“No, he’s full grown, but he is too young to be good in coq au vin. He is more for roasting.” Gently he pulled her to him. “I take it you are up for the day.”

 

“Unfortunately, yes. Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you later.” Seri pulled away from him and got dressed.

 

“Seri, don’t kill Roscoe. Mama says he is a good producer.”

 

“I won’t.” She headed toward the back stairs but stopped at Callie’s door. A small smile crossed Seri’s face as she walked down the stairs. The Earl Grey tasted especially good as she watched the sun come up over the pecan grove. There was a peace that settled over the plantation in the early morning hours. This was Len’s world. All of it was a part of him. One day she hoped she would be a part of all that lay before her.

 

It wasn’t long before the farm hands began to arrive. Jake saw her and ran up the stairs. “ ‘Mornin.”

 

“Good morning. Care to join me? I can grab some coffee for you.”

 

“Give me a minute. I’ll grab it.” Jake ran into the house. It wasn’t long before he came out and plopped in the chair next to her. “I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you much.”

 

“It’s okay. I haven’t been here that long. And I haven’t been great about talking. Sorry about that. Len said you are married to Sarah. Any kids?”

 

“No. Don’t tell anyone, but Sarah just found out she is expecting. She said she’ll tell Len first. Did he tell you we all grew up together?”

 

“He did and congratulations! Len will be thrilled for both of you. I wanted to tell you, you do an amazing job here. This place is unlike anything I have ever seen.”

 

“Thank you. I am tryin’. Mama is great, but I miss Len. Having him around was like having a partner. This place is great, but it takes more than one person to keep it going. I’m not complaining, well I guess I am, but the truth is, this is not a one person job.”

 

“Have you talked to Len?”

 

“I don’t know what to say to him. After Joce, I took over this place. I didn’t ask, I just did it. He needed the help. For over a year he was in no condition to do the kind of juggling this place requires. Mama taught me what I needed to know to manage it, and I had worked here since I was a kid, but when Len imploded I realized why Mama had told me this place took a few people to manage the different areas. I could oversee it, but I think I’m going to need managers under me. Do you think he would be open to that. With a kid on the way…”

 

“You need to balance work and family. I don’t think he’ll have any problem with it. He is going to have George manage the corporation while he is in Starfleet. I think he would feel better if you were managing this place. How far away do you live?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Just checking commute time.”

 

“It takes about forty minutes to get here. Sarah wasn’t feeling well this morning. I drove in early, but I’ll get her later.”

 

“She is going to feel sick and be tired for a few months. May I make a suggestion?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Why don’t we bring in someone to help her? Not permanent, just until the baby is born.”

 

“I don’t know. She likes working here.”

 

“This wouldn’t eliminate her job, just have some help. The person that is brought in will know it is temporary.”

 

“Do you think Len will be okay with this?”

 

“He will. I told him I would help him with the farm. He knows how hard this is for you all. Jake, please don’t think he takes his responsibility here lightly. He wants to make sure this is all taken care of before we have to go back.  Look why don’t we do this; we are going to Betazed on Sunday, I doubt we will be there more than three or four days;  when we get back why don’t we all have a meeting to figure out how to make all of this work?”

 

“That would work. You know something?”

 

“What?”

 

“I know why Len loves you as much as he does. I’ve seen him with you, and I can tell you he has never been this happy in his life. You have been a godsend. Thank you.”

 

 

Seri was bright red. “Thank you, but honestly I don’t think I have much to do with it. He is amazing.”

 

“He is, but the year before he left he was lost. You have been a breath of fresh air to him.”

 

“Have you met Jim yet?”

 

“No.”

 

“Trust me, he has a lot to do with it as well.”

 

“I just know he looks at you in a way I have never seen before. I want to meet Jim. Rob says he is a good guy.”

 

“He is. He is one of the people I am going to suggest be at the meeting. He grew up and worked on farms in Iowa.”

 

“I heard he is good with farm economics. Rob said he is helping him with his place.”

 

“He is. Like you said, Jim is a good man. He and Len are a lot alike. They tend to put others before themselves. Jake?”

 

“Yes ma’am?”

 

“It’s Seri. Are you married to living where you do?”

 

“I don’t understand your question.”

 

“Just a thought I had. If you are managing this place It might be easier if you lived closer. It would give you more home time. You wouldn’t have to leave as early as you do, and you would get home earlier, same with Sarah. I want to make it as easy for you as possible.”

 

“If you don’t mind me saying it, you sound like a McCoy. We only live there because it was close to her parents, but her dad died about five years ago, and her mom passed last year. I’ll talk to her. We can look closer to here for a place.”

 

“That may not be necessary. Ask her if she would mind moving. Then we can discuss things at the meeting. Thank you for this.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Including me. I know that Len and I aren’t married yet, but I want to help in any way I can. Can Sarah come to the meeting?”

 

“I’ll ask her. I’m sure she’ll come. I wasn’t sure if talking to you was a good idea, but now I think it was. You are going to make a great partner for Lenny. Your mind seems to work as fast as his.” Jake chuckled and shook his head. “You are going to be a match for him. He won’t be able to walk all over you, that’s for damn sure.” Jake stood to leave.

 

“Does he do that? He hasn’t with me.”

 

He looked down at her. Something about his face changed, it was a combination of sadness and softness. “Only when he is scared or hurting. He lashes out. Please don’t tell him I know that. He came at me a couple of times after his dad died. I always let it go. Len is good people, always has been. Just sometimes he loses touch with his strength, starts believing his daddy. Well I best be getting to work. Thanks Seri.”

 

Len did that only once to her, but she saw how he could intimidate someone. Jake really understood and loved him. “No problem Jake. It was nice meeting you.”  Seri enjoyed her last hours of peace before Jo woke up. It was going to be a long, but fun day. She needed to go to town, maybe she could hitch a ride with Jim. It didn’t matter, for now there was peace and quiet.


	34. chapter 34

Seri led Len out of the morgue. Christine needed to reset the controls on the refrigeration unit. The unit would keep Pavel’s body almost in a cryo state if set correctly. His body would be prepared on Jupiter; the better it was kept the better he would look for his family. Christine wanted to do all she could to help. It hurt her to see Len as broken as he had been. Even Jim concerned her. She had stopped being angry with him years before.

 

She had been young and naïve when Jim came into her life. Looking back on that time Christine realized she had been immature. He promised her nothing, asked nothing of her. She left on impulse. Now she was back, the head nurse on Starfleet’s flagship. She married an engineer. They had met when she came back to the Enterprise. Jim performed the ceremony after the new ship launched; Len had walked her down the aisle.

 

Christine knew Seri would keep Len in his office. None of the staff could see him the way he was. Len liked to be seen as in charge, unflappable. After she finished in the morgue Christine got a plate of sunny side up eggs and bacon, and a bowl of oatmeal. Cautiously she touched the door chime. “Come in.” Seri had him calmed and lying on the couch.

 

“Hi Seri. I brought you both breakfast. You have to eat something, doctor’s orders.” The tray was placed on the desk. She saw a small smile on Len’s lips before it disappeared.

 

He opened his eyes. “Thank you Darlin’. Really Christine, thank you for everything.” Len rose and walked over to her. He had been horrible to her the first days after he got back. She met him half way across the room. They held each other silently as she forgave him.

 

“We’re here for you Len. You know that don’t you?” Her blue eyes looked at him as she tried to evaluate how bad he truly was.

 

“I do. I know you both are there for me. I’ll be okay I promise.” He kissed the top of her head. They had been lucky to get her back. When she transferred he screamed at Jim about not shitting where you eat. Evidently Jim had taken it to heart; Christine was the last woman from his crew he slept with.

 

She squeezed him lightly as she pulled away. “I’m here if you need anything, either of you.” Chris moved to leave. The two of them needed time alone. He would be okay, it would just take time.

 

As the door slid shut, Len turned to Seri. “So, what do you think counselor? Do you think the patient can go back to work?”

 

Seri patted the couch next to her. Len sat down. He knew what she was thinking, but he wanted to hear her. At times he wanted to talk. “I think you can, but with the caveats I gave you earlier. I can feel how hurt and nervous you are. The hurt will go away in time, but I don’t think the nervousness will go away unless you go back to work. For now, I want you to stay in here. We’ll talk, and you need to call Jo later, maybe during Beta shift. After lunch come back here and you can put in a few hours. I will stay in here while you work. If I need you to stop I’ll tell you telepathically. No one else needs to know, though I will talk to Joseph about what we are planning. I know he’ll support it.”

 

“Thank you. I’m trying, I really am.” He started to look lost.

 

“I know you are. Don’t try so hard. No one, and I mean no one, would be okay after what you have been through. No one expects you to be completely together. Tell me about the people in your department. What do you think they see when they see you?”

 

“So, we are starting a session, alright. I don’t know, I’m their boss. Does the boss ever know what the people under them think?”

 

“I don’t know. What about Joseph?”

 

“It is different with him, and Christine.”

 

“Why, what makes them different?”

 

“Their positions. They are closer to my age. I don’t know.”

 

“Yes, you do. Think about it. What makes them different?”

 

He looked at her. She was right, they were different. “They understand me and I understand them. We have things in common. We are close in age.” He continued to stare at her. “We care about each other on a personal level. They aren’t kids.”

 

“And there we have it.” Len smirked. “How do they feel about you?”

 

“I think they care about me. I think they believe I am good at what I do.” He hesitated. “I think they believe I am a good person.” His eyes drifted down. He had never noticed how the leather on the couch was stitched.

 

“How do you feel about you?”

 

“They are wrong. I wish they weren’t, but they are. The proof is in that fucking room.” He pointed at the wall in the direction of the morgue. Anger, that was good, he was fighting; fighting the universe, fighting his expectations of himself, fighting the pain. “I’m sorry.”

 

“No, you aren’t, not really. And that is okay. Tell me why you are angry.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“I know you are hurting, but you are also angry. It’s okay to be angry. Tell me why you are angry.”

 

He looked into her. “I’m angry with him.” His voice was a gruff baritone. “I’m angry about what they made me do.”

 

“They?”

 

“They what?” He looked genuinely confused.

 

“You said they.”

 

“I did?” He hadn’t realized. It was they. He was angry at both of them. “I am angry with both of them.”

 

“Tell me what you are angry about. What did they do?” She stayed out of his head. He needed to come to terms with his feeling solely on his own. She could feel him reaching for her, but she backed away. “You need to tell me. You need to verbalize it.”

 

“They made me a murder.” His eyes were locked with hers. If she wouldn’t let him hold on to her mentally, he would at least know what she was feeling.

 

Her stare remained noncommittal. “Tell me why you are a murder.”

 

“I am not supposed to kill someone, especially not someone I am caring for. Pavel…fuck him. Why did he have to run at them? He could have stayed back. Why didn’t he just die? Why did he have to fight so hard to live? He could have given up. He could have closed his eyes and given up. Instead I did what he wanted. I killed him. Just like my father. He was just like him in the end.” Len had stood up and begun to pace the room. Seri didn’t move. He needed to get this out.

 

“Pavel was just like your father?” Her voice was steady and lacked any emotion.

 

“Yes, no, I don’t know. He did the same thing. He pushed me to murder him. If he had just died on his own… I don’t know. I don’t know anything.”

 

“Yes, you do. I don’t know means, I don’t want to tell you.” Her eyes followed him but betrayed none of what she was thinking.

 

Len stopped, Seri was right, he had to know. Was he angry with Pavel; yes. Why was he angry? Did Pavel make him a murderer? Did David make him one? “Seri, I’m trying. Help me. I’m angry. I just can’t figure out who I am angry with, or why I am. Please help me.”

 

Seri had hoped he would get to this point. The anger had been there since he materialized on the pad, but it had been pushed down by every other emotion. With the pain, fear, and hurt, the anger hadn’t had time to surface. “I won’t give you the answers, but together we can find them. Tell me what makes you a murderer.”

 

Len sat on the opposite end of the couch from her. He turned to face her, as he searched for answers. “I killed them. They wanted it and I killed them. I loved Pavel, I did, and I killed him. I murdered them.”

 

“Why do you say murdered?”

 

“Isn’t that what it is. I purposely took their lives. I did it knowingly. Seri, I knew exactly what I was doing.”

 

“And what exactly was that? I mean it Len, be specific.” She leaned toward him.

 

“I turned off his life support.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he wanted me to do it. Because he asked.”

 

“Too easy don’t you think?” She pushed him, almost taunted him.

 

“Are you trying to piss me off?” He knew she wasn’t. “Because he was dying in pain and there was no cure. He didn’t want to continue the short time he had in pain. He asked me to help him commit suicide.”

 

“And?”

 

“I did it.”

 

“What exactly did you do?”

 

“Turned off the life support. I killed him.”

 

“Is that all you did?” She was looking through him now. He was beginning to see the whole picture.

 

“I helped him.”

 

“You helped him how?” She needed him to take his dad’s death to the correct conclusion.

 

“I helped him out of an impossible situation. I helped him eliminate the pain when there was no hope of survival.” His eyes were still on hers, fixed but full of pain.

 

“Exactly. Now tell me about Pavel. Tell me exactly what you did.” She needed him to verbalize more than the mechanics.

 

“I slit his throat and watched him bleed to death. What the fuck else do you want me to say?” He pushed himself violently off the couch and walked toward the door.

 

“Leave if you want. I can’t stop you. But if you do I will not clear you for duty. Do we understand each other?”

 

“So, you are going to force me to stay?”

 

“No. You are free to leave at any time. I am letting you know what the consequence to that action will be. It is your choice to stay or not.” Seri prayed he would choose to stay. He didn’t have to stay, but it would be best if he did.

 

Len turned to look at her. He gauged her resolve. She wasn’t kidding, she wouldn’t let him back to work until he finished. Seri might not have been able to physically stop him, but there were plenty of people who could. That would definitely go on his record. Besides what was he afraid of. Why was he fighting this as hard as he was? His shoulders slumped slightly. She was right. Fuck he hated that. Slowly he made his way back to the couch and sat back in his spot. “I am sorry.”

 

“No reason for you to be. Let’s go back to Pavel. Tell me exactly what happened.” She hadn’t let her professional mask slip. If he was to get through this McCoy needed a therapist, not a fiancé. Usually she wouldn’t treat someone to which she was that close. But, she was the only therapist on board. Something about which she had been in talks with Starfleet. With over three hundred people she was now estimating they needed three therapists, especially when there was a ship wide trauma. After this, she believed the need would be addressed.

“He was in pain. I could see into his body cavity when I lifted his shirt. Damn, I don’t know how he was conscious. He could barely breath. I remember him lying in my lap the way Jo use to when she was sick. Remember that, the time we were home after our second year? He looked so young. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t do anything. Nothing would fix it. They were going to come back. I could hear them in the other room. What if they came back? He was so weak, so scared. He wouldn’t stop looking at me. He needed me to make it stop, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t fix it, couldn’t fix him. He wasn’t going to survive. I know that. Seri, I know that if we had been rescued that second, he still would have died. I didn’t want him to die alone and afraid. I didn’t want them to come get him again. They wouldn’t have him. I did it. He knew what I was going to do. He thanked me, told me he loved me. I loved him, I watched him grow up. Then I watched him die. His blood flowed over my hands, caked under my nails. When I got back, that first day, I took a long hot shower. I watched what was left of him run down the drain. Jim kept beating on the door, I could hear you talking to him, but I was watching Pavel run down the drain.”

 

The tears were back. Seri took him into her arms and allowed him to cry it out. His head rested on her chest as she held him, her head on the top of his. “That’s it Len. That is the truth. The anger is with the situation, not with Pavel. I’ve got you. It’s okay. Let it go baby.” It was awhile before the tears stopped, before he could control his feelings.

 

“I am not a murderer, am I?” He hadn’t released his grip on her uniform.

 

“No Len, you aren’t. You are a physician.”

 

Slowly he recovered enough to sit up. “Thank you. I know this is your job, but I know this is not easy for you.”

 

“You understand more than almost anyone else on this ship. But Len, you did well. Once we get back to Earth, you can see someone near home. I am going to make a very strong suggestion that the crew get extended leave during the retrofit of the ship. I’ll comm. commute to the meetings where I am needed. I still think it is a good idea for families to be on board, and after this I am going to insist on three counselors.” Seri went back into his head. He was hurt, but calm. There was no reason to believe he wouldn’t do well working for half a day.

 

“So, counselor, can I go to work?” A sad smile crossed his lips.

 

“Yes. But today I will stay in your head the entire time.” She needed to know what he was thinking at all times. Just knowing what he felt would not be enough.

 

“I understand. Please only tell Joe and Chris. I don’t want the staff and patients to think I am a ticking bomb. I need them to trust me.” He needed to be the CMO; to be trusted by those under him as well as the crew.

 

“That won’t be a problem. Sit in here while I go talk to them. I won’t be very long. Shit, it is already 12:00. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be right back.” Seri left quickly. Len was glad for the alone time; he needed to regroup before his lunch with Jim. It wasn’t long before she was back. “They are on board. Christine will be the nurse assigned to you today. She asked, and I couldn’t find a reason to say no.”

 

“No, it’s a good idea. I am having lunch with Jim. That will be a welcome break.”

 

“Don’t be so sure. He feels nervous. I think he wants to talk to you about Cal. He commed her while we were here. I could feel him. She is good for him, and he is good for her. Though this is sudden. I mean it has only been about nine years. Maybe they should get to know each other a little better.” Seri was smiling the smile that never ceased to captivate him.

 

“You are a smartass. He will take good care of her, and he’ll be good to her. I couldn’t ask for anything else. I don’t know why he is nervous, but I’ll talk to him.” Len grabbed the bottle of Jameson from his cabinet. He had a feeling Jim would need a drink. “Don’t worry, it’s for Jim.” He smiled at her as he made his way out the door and to the lounge. It was usually empty during Alpha shift. He and Jim had been using it since Nero. The other crew members tended to avail themselves of it during the end of Beta shift or the beginning of Delta.

 

Seri smiled to herself as he bounded out of the office. Today was a good day for Len. It had actually gone better than expected. Leading his dream earlier had made this day less traumatic. She went to the cafeteria and picked up a salad for herself and miso soup for Joseph. She never acquired a taste for it, but he loved it. It didn’t take long for her to get back to the medbay.

 

Seri was excited. Today their life would start. In her soul she had felt married for almost a decade. A baby, Len’s baby, that was what she wanted. To sit on the front veranda and nurse their baby as the sun set over the cow pasture would feel like heaven. To have something that was a part of both of them; a new life full of hope; that was what this meant to her.

 

She put the food down on the desk. Not long after Joseph came in. “Okay sweetie, what is all of this about? Miso soup! This must be big.” He pulled up to the desk as Seri took her salad and sat opposite him.

 

“I want to remove the birth control. Len and I discussed it. We want to start a family as soon as possible.”

 

Joseph didn’t look particularly shocked, but he was slightly concerned. “Is this because of what happened? If you only decided this this past week I need to caution you.” He was right, she knew that, but she had wanted this for some time.

 

“No. I have been thinking about this for a while. Turns out Len was as well. He has wanted to walk down the aisle since Kahn, but never said anything. He thought I wanted to stick to our original plan. I didn’t, but I thought he did.”

 

“I thought you two could read each other’s thoughts.” He was enjoying his soup. She knew him better than he had thought.

 

“We can, but we can also block them. That took years of practice, but we are pretty good at it. This isn’t rash. And now, with Starfleet recognizing the need to keep families together for stability on deep space missions, it will be possible for us to start now.”

 

“What if Starfleet turns you down?”

 

“Then we will leave and finish our tours on Earth. But I doubt they will do that. They have been more than slightly receptive to the idea since I pointed out that most of our senior staff is leaving after their tours are up. They want to be with their families. The admiralty is anxious to keep this crew together.” So, what do you think?”

 

“I think a little McCoy would be more than a welcome addition on board.” His eyes lit up at the idea. They finished their lunch quickly. “Come on let’s get this taken care of. I want to be an uncle. In all seriousness, I need you to understand some things about the reversal. I know you’re a doctor but humor me. Your period will start in a day or two. You will be able to get pregnant any time after I reverse it, but I would caution to wait until your period is over. It will give your body a week to adjust. I’ll give you some back-up to take with you.”

 

“Don’t worry. Neither one of us like the idea of sex during my period. I had it when I changed birth control two years ago. But I’ll take it just incase we want to play tonight.” She smiled like the devil when she wanted.

 

Joseph loved Seri. She had been there for him in the middle of the night more than once. The nightmares after Kahn had been the worst. They had started after they got back to the ship. She was compassionate and incredibly intelligent. His fiancé, Manaia Whiri was a lot like her. Maybe that was why he had fallen in love with the beautiful zoologist the last time they were on Earth. They were to marry as soon as he returned which looked like it would be in the next few days. He couldn’t wait to land and get to New Zealand. If the Enterprise was to open up to families, he needed to know if she would come along for the adventure. If not, he would leave the Enterprise. She was the only thing that would make him leave this family. He understood Len’s desire to marry and have a family with Seri.

 

“Alright, here we go.” M’Benga took the reversal wand and ran it over the place on her right inner thigh that held the tiny contraceptive device. It took several minutes until the wand turned green showing the devise was no longer active. “It can be turned back on at any time. Seri…”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I am happy for both of you. Remember what I said, given your hormonal levels, body structure and chemistry, you should have no trouble getting pregnant.”

 

“Thanks! Please say hi to Manaia. I can’t wait to see her again.”

 

“I was thinking of visiting the farm while we are on Earth. Do you think that will be okay?”

 

“Okay? We assumed you both would be at the wedding. We haven’t set a date yet, but I will let Manaia know as soon as we do. We need you both there. Joe, thank you for everything. I mean it. You have been amazing during all of this.” Her eyes softened. She cared about him, he was part of the family.

 

“I love him. Len has been a great friend all these years. He saw me through my divorce and my father’s death. This was the least I could do. I’m glad I could do something.”

 

“You did more than something. You saved his career. Believe me he doesn’t take that for granted. You and Christine are the only two in medical that he sees as equals. He loves both of you.” Seri jumped down from the exam table and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you Joe, for everything.”

 

“You never called me Joe before.”

 

“No, I guess I haven’t.” Seri smiled and walked away. Joe smirked, she really was sassy.

 

Jim grabbed a couple of steaks from the mess and waited in the lounge for Len. A couple of ensigns had come in, but quickly left when they saw the captain seated at the bar. Jim had to smile and shake his head. Authority had never intimidated him, even when he was a cadet; especially when he was a cadet.

 

He had commed Cal earlier. She knew there was more to what happened than what he told her, but she didn’t push. He couldn’t tell her what he needed to say over the comm. He wouldn’t ask her to marry him until they were at the farm. He wanted to be home for that, besides Len said he had something to show him before he asked her. But they would lie in bed his first night back, and there he would tell her all that happened. There she would hold him and make the universe melt away.

 

Len put the bottle and a glass in front of Jim, jostling him from his reverie. “Aren’t you having some?”

 

“Naw Kid. I got cleared to go back to work. Nothing much worse than skinned knees, but it is better than nothing. I am being a good boy and doing as I am told. I don’t need the counselor to relieve me of duty again.” Len poured two fingers for Jim. The kid looked like he could use it. “Want to tell the doctor what is on your mind?”

 

Jim joined in the joke. “No, but I wouldn’t mind telling my best friend.”

 

“Jimbo, what is this about?”

 

“I lied to you the other day. Well, I didn’t completely lie. I sort of lied. Sort of a lie of omission. So maybe not a lie..”

 

“Jim! You’re babbling. Just spit it out.”

 

“Cal, after Kahn was not our first time sleeping together. Our first time was the day after we met, the day we went into town. I loved her from the day I met her. I did Bones. It has always been her. I didn’t want to commit, but there has been no one since her. Before you say it, I fucked around, and I know I used Gaila. But I have never loved anyone besides Cal. After Kahn there was no one but her in any way. I couldn’t. I just…”

 

“You love her. Jim, I knew then. I have always known.”

 

“Seri?”

 

“No. She didn’t turn you in. It wasn’t hard to figure out. I asked Cal the day of the bonfire. She didn’t lie to me. She could never do that. But she made me promise never to say anything to you.” Jim looked up from his plate, Len was smiling. “You babble like Seri when you get nervous.”

 

Jim smiled as he picked up the glass of whiskey. “Only with you. I am usually great under pressure.” He finished half the glass in one swallow.  “You weren’t angry.”

 

“I was at first, but I didn’t have much room to talk. I fell in love with Seri the day I met her. You pointed that out to me, or something similar. You and Cal were always right for each other. She wasn’t an angel either, that is what makes you so right together. You both seem to have gotten past the fucking around stage years ago.”

 

“Yeah, you could say that. I’m thinking of reapplying for my virginity. It has been long enough for me to qualify.” They were both laughing when Len decided to let Jim in on a secret.

 

“Seri is having her birth control reversed today. We want to start a family as soon as possible.”

 

Jim had one of his full-blown smiles on his face. “So, you are going to give me another niece or a nephew. Yes! Good for you.”

 

“You know we aren’t doing this for you.” Len couldn’t help but enjoy this.

 

“Really? Well, I don’t care. Seriously, do you think you’ll stay on board if she gets pregnant.”

 

“We are planning on it, and as you know, Seri has been badgering the admiralty about making this a family friendly ship. With all the empty cabins I think it would be a good idea. We would lose fewer crew members if they could have their families with them.”

 

“Sounds as if you have been giving this a good deal of thought.” Len looked worried. “Don’t worry, the admiralty has been asking my thoughts on the matter and I have been backing the idea. I would love to have stability on board.”

 

“You should let her know you are backing her.” He finished his steak.

 

“I will. Len, I’m going to have her have one more go at Dardrok. Don’t worry, Hendel will be there the entire time. I need to know if there is anything we missed. I’m going to have her do it right after Alpha shift.” Jim finished his lunch and drink.

 

“Hendel will be there the entire time?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Alright. I understand. Do you need me there?”

 

“No, just her. I think she can throw him off. What do you think.”

 

“I know she can.”

 

They left the lounge and headed to their respective sections; Jim to the bridge, and Len to the medbay. Slowly, things were getting back to normal. Not the same as before, but a new normal.

 

Len entered the medbay and took a quick look around. Evidently there had been a minor accident in one of the shuttle bays. He quickly jumped into the fray. Seri leaned on the door jam to Len’s office. He felt happy, and in control. Unnoticed she slipped quietly into the office and began filing her reports to Starfleet. Jim had sent her a message about questioning Dardrok after the shift ended. She acknowledged him and stated she would go at 17:00 hours. It wouldn’t take long to get what she needed from the interrogator, if there was anything new to find. Joseph had left a small bag of back up contraceptives on the desk. She hadn’t needed condoms in years. This could be fun. The reports felt endless, but she needed to stay close in case things got rough for Len. For now, he felt confident and strong. Soon they would be home and things could move forward.


	35. chapter 35

Jo loved her dad’s house. She had her chickens, cows, goats, cats, dogs and horses. Mommy let her stay with grandma often while her daddy was away saving people. The video comms. Aunt Callie had picked up were supposed to be one of the strongest made. That way she could talk to her daddy whenever she wanted. One day she hoped to see where he worked. For now, she was happy to crawl into his bed in the morning to talk to him about what they would do during the day. Maybe he would let her help him pick peaches, or they could go riding together.

 

Quickly she got out of bed, brushed her teeth, and padded down the hall to his room. Quietly Jo crawled under the covers and cuddled up to Len. He was asleep, but in his sleep, he pulled her close to him. Miraculously she fell back to sleep. Seri walked into the bedroom about a half an hour after the little one dozed off.

 

Angel, that was what the little girl looked like in her father’s arms. Both slept soundly as Seri stared enthralled. Seri needed her PADD, but she couldn’t help but stand at the foot of the bed watching the beautiful painting in front of her. Nothing in her life had ever looked as beautifully peaceful. Quietly the PADD was taken from the night stand, and the pair were left to sleep as late as they liked.

 

Jim kissed Cal on the forehead before he crept out of her bed and out of her room. The last night had been a revelation. He could love, and once more he felt there was a possibility someone could eventually love him, not as a friend or brother, but more than that. One day maybe he would be loved by someone the way Len was loved by Seri.

 

Jim went directly to his shower. He wanted to get to town a little early. Len needed ice to be delivered, and he wanted to walk around. If Taccoa was going to be home, it needed to be explored. He quickly showered, dried off, and hung the towel. He walked to the dresser and grabbed his PADD. A message was quickly sent to Cal. He didn’t want her to think he snuck out of their bed. He let her know he was going to town and would be back soon. He almost typed “love you” but caught himself.

 

Why did he need to have so many clothes? It was easy to pick out underwear and socks. They were thrown on the bed along with jeans. Shirt, he needed a decent shirt. “You know, one of the henleys would look good with that. Or did you grab any button downs at the store?”

 

Jim fell backwards and landed on his ass in front of the dresser. “Seri! Goddamn it!”

 

“What?” She lifted her head off the bedroom couch.

 

“You could have let me know you were here.”

 

“I was lying here when you slunk in. Thought you saw me, or at least felt me. Though the nudity should have been a clue that wasn’t the case. Sorry about that. Whatever shirt you decide on, make it blue. Cal will love it.”

 

“What are you doing here anyway?” He got up from the floor and started to dress. “Blue? Why blue? Please don’t tell Len about Cal and me. I would like to survive this trip.” Jim began to dress.

 

“The blue brings out your eyes.” Seri sat up on the couch. “I needed to move my money to Earth accounts and didn’t want to bother Len. He and Jo are sound asleep in our room. Would you mind if I threw your name on the accounts as a third holder? Len will be the secondary holder, but just in case something happens to both of us, I need someone I can trust to handle things.”

 

“Kiddo, what are the chances that I will outlive both of you?” He had almost completely dressed but still rummaged through drawers as he looked for a shirt.

 

“Be that as it may, will you do it?” She didn’t want to think about the possibility that he was right.

 

“Sure. How does this look?”  He had pulled on a tapered royal blue tee shirt.

 

“Perfect. If you give me a minute I’ll change and we can go to town together. Unless you want to go with Cal.” Seri had gotten up and was at the door to the hall.

 

“No, today I think I want to spend time with my sister. Thank you for not commenting on my night with Cal. I’ll wait for you downstairs.” Jim grabbed a pair of dress shoes and left the room with Seri.

 

It didn’t take long for her to come down. The two sleepyheads were still asleep when she left. Seri had left a quick note on the nightstand for Len. Jim let the dogs out and they both climbed into the rental hovercraft. Neither of them said much as Jim started for town. Suddenly the craft came to a slamming halt. “What is it? Jim, what’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing, did you see that?” The craft was backed up to the sign on the front field of the farm across the street from the McCoy farm.

 

“See what? The for sale sign?” The sign gave a number to call and the name of the realtor.

 

“I bet Len will want to know it is for sale. I think he would be interested in a horse farm. What do you think?” He entered the name and number into his comm.

 

“How do you know it’s a horse farm?” Seri had no idea that there were subtle differences to the way the fences were configured.

 

“The double split rail fence. Do you think he will be interested?”

 

“He probably will. Len has a thing for real estate.”

 

“It is two hundred hectares. Not very big by Len’s standards.” Seri looked genuinely confused “Sorry, a little under five hundred acres.”

 

“I wonder if it is a going concern. We can talk to Len when we get home. Jim, may I ask you something?” The craft was started, they continued to town.

 

“You know the answer. I just can’t say it, not yet.”

 

“I understand. I won’t say anything to Len, don’t worry. But, Jim…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Be careful.” Seri turned to look at him. He had blocked his thoughts, and as much of his feelings as he could. She needed to read his face for answers.

 

“I won’t hurt her, at least not on purpose.” He continued to stare at the road, thanking God he was driving. He didn’t want to look at her and see disappointment.

 

“I am looking out for you as well. I know you baby; I know how easy you can be hurt.” They rest of the ride was spent in silence. Jim digested what Seri had said. He could be hurt; as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he could be hurt easily by Cal.

 

Taccoa was closed. It was still too early for the businesses to be open. Len had commed George on Thursday while he and Seri were eating. George sent the message to Celia, she would draw up the contract for the deal with Rob and money would be moved into an account with Jim and Len’s name on it. There would be more than was needed for the deal to keep the account open. She had already finished the agreement for Ginny; and sent a copy to her counsel in Memphis. George was the litigator, Celia was the contract lawyer. Seri promised that while she was in town she would get the account information and the code for the contracts from Celia.

 

Seri looked for the bank as they drove through the center of town. She needed to open an account as soon as possible. Much to the dismay of her bank on Betazed, she was moving all of her funds to the Taccoa bank that day. She wanted it done before he mother was told. Lenoxia had a way of finding out everything she or her sister did. This way she would not be able to control her youngest. Seri definitely was not going to have her mother’s name on this account the way it was on her current one. This one would have Len and Jim on it, with her father as power of attorney. She would have him take care of the POA when she went home. The bank was around the corner from George’s place. “Jim, why don’t we park at George’s. I have to pick up some things from there and I have to go to the bank.”

 

“Sure Kiddo.” He pulled into the furthest parking space from the door. He knew they would be in town for several hours at least and didn’t want to inconvenience Celia. “Maybe we could explore a little before things get busy?”

 

“That would be fun. But honestly Jim, how busy can this place get?” He saw her point and smirked at the town’s idea of busy. They got out and Jim started to walk up the sidewalk to the crosswalk that led to the park.

 

Seri caught up with him and he offered her his arm. “Let me show you a place Cal took me to yesterday. It is definitely small-town America.”

 

Seri took his arm gently. Jim had stopped blocking her. He needed the contact, both physical and psychological. The park was peaceful in the morning hours. The fountain’ melody played along with the rustle of the leaves on the oak trees that lined the eastern border of the open area. “Jim, say it to me.”

 

“Say what?” He stared intently at the fountain.

 

“What I know you’re feeling.” She let go of his arm and moved to in front of him. As she looked up into his eyes, she could see the fear she had been feeling since the drove into town.

 

“You know I’m afraid to say it. I would look like a kid; a stupid, impulsive, immature kid. You know deep down that isn’t me. I know you know that. She would think I was an idiot. Also, Seri, I can’t promise fidelity. I know me, at least who I am right now. If we were to get together like that now, we would be a shipwreck. You have to know that.” His panic was rising at the thought, but what was the thought that was causing the panic. He didn’t know.

 

“Jim, I didn’t say tell her, I said tell me. You know me well enough to know that what you tell me in confidence I won’t repeat. But you need to tell someone. I know Len is the person you usually talk to, but that might not be the best idea when it comes to this.” She smiled at him; that coupled with her emotions told him she was joking, mostly.

 

“I love her. I don’t know why, but I do.”

 

“Are you sure you don’t know why?”

 

“She sees me. Seri, she knows me and she doesn’t hate me.”

 

“No sweetie, she definitely doesn’t hate you.” Seri knew how Callie felt about him but wouldn’t say. The two needed to say those things to each other. Jim was right, to say I love you at this point would be foolhardy, and neither of them was ready for a forever commitment. But there was one thing Seri was sure of, they truly loved one another. What she felt between them wasn’t infatuation, it was love. “You know something?”

 

“No.”

 

“You deserve to be loved; you are worthy of it.” Jim bent down and hugged her to him. He prayed she was right. Did he deserve true love? Until Len and Seri had come into his life, he knew he would never be loved. He was a monster, what he had done to Kallie proved that. Now he was beginning to realize that how he had viewed himself was a lie. He was a good man, that is what his Georgia family told him. One day he would believe them completely. For now, he was beginning to see the Jim they saw.

 

“Thank you, Kiddo. I needed that.” He relaxed his grip and looked into her coal black eyes.

 

“Sometimes you need a little perspective. Cal is a good person. I can feel that. You both just need to grow up a little.”

 

“Thanks.” His indignant tone had a touch of mirth attached.

 

She gently slapped his arm. “This is a beautiful park. Is it named after Uncle George’s ancestor? I saw the sign when we came in.”

 

“Yes.” He offered her his arm again and they began to walk back toward the street. “He was a war hero in the War of 1812. I’m sure there is a book in the library about it.”

 

“I’ll look it up. Let’s see if the bank is open.”

 

“You’re really chomping at the bit to get to the bank.”

 

“I want to move the money before my mother gets wind of what I am doing. She tends to find out things, and her name is on the account. I wouldn’t put it past her to empty the account.”

 

“But it is your money.”

 

“She likes control, lets me know she is in charge. As soon as the bank opens I am having it all transferred to here. I commed my bank right before we left. It is early on Betazed, and mother doesn’t get up before noon.”

 

“Here we are. They are open.” He held the door for her as they entered. It was an antiquated custom, but Seri like the feeling of being treated with respect. He was a gentleman. Cal was a very lucky woman; Seri hoped she knew that.

 

The bank was like most of the town, a combination of old world charm and modern technology. Seri went to wait near the offices. What she wanted to do would take more than a teller, and needed the privacy afforded by a private office. “Jim, would you mind staying with me?” Her eyes betrayed the nervousness she had been blocking from him.

 

“Sure Kiddo. What’s wrong?” He sat in the chair next to her, concerned by the sudden change of attitude.

 

“Just that I am defying her. She is going to explode when she finds out what I have done.”

 

He took her hand, lending support and stability. “You don’t have to do this. You can let things stay as they are. Seriously, do you care about the money. You will never want for anything even if she empties the account.”

 

“I don’t want Len’s money. I’m not with him because of that.” She knew there would be others who saw her as a gold digger. She never thought Jim was one of them. She tried to pull her hand away, but he held tighter.

 

“That isn’t what I meant at all, and you should know that by now. You are in Starfleet, and a doctor. You will never want for anything.”

 

Seri relaxed. He was right. She knew that, he would never look at Len’s money as a safety net for either of them. “I know. I guess I’m not thinking straight. It isn’t the money, it is simply claiming what is mine. It is my money, my property, my life. The tangibles illustrate the intangibles. If I take the physical things that are mine I’m hoping she will understand that she no longer has control over me.”

 

“Do you really think that is going to happen?” He was almost as sarcastic as Len.

 

“You’re right. But let me live with the delusion. Thanks, I needed the laugh.” I woman in professional dress came to them. She extended her hand to Seri and then to Jim as they both stood. Her eyes looked Jim up and down. Seri had gotten use to that reaction from the Academy.

 

“Good morning, may I help you?”

 

Seri took the lead. “Yes, I need to set up an account and have funds transferred from my planet to here. Will that be a problem?”

 

“No, we do this a lot. My name is Meghan. Let’s go to my office.” Jim and Seri entered an office with several double hung windows on the side facing the side street. There was an oriental carpet and a large cherry desk that faced the door to the lobby. There were two leather chairs that faced the desk, and a large tufted wingback leather office chair for the bank manager. “Please, have a seat. Sorry, we are short staffed today. There is a party tonight, and a few of the staff took the day off. Can’t blame them. I would have done the same if I wasn’t the manager.”

 

They took their seats. “I’m Seri. I’m just glad you were here.”

 

“I’m Jim.” He sat quietly as Seri got the PADD on the desk to pull up the information needed to transfer the funds.

 

“Meghan, do you think all of this could be handled today?”

 

“I can have it done within the hour.” Meghan began to access the bank on Betazed and requested the immediate transfer of all of the funds. “Thank you for having all of the preliminary work done. Makes everything so much easier.” In a less than a half an hour all of the funds were moved from Seri’s various accounts to the one account at the Taccoa bank. “Do you want anyone else on the account with you?”

 

“Yes, I would like Leonard McCoy and James Kirk. Jim is here; is it a problem that Len isn’t?”

 

“Oh, you must be Lenny’s fiancé. No, it isn’t a problem. We have his signature on file. That reminds me, Jim, Celia notified me that we need to set up an account in both yours and Lenny’s names. I want to do that while we wait for all of this to clear. Is that okay with you?”

 

“Sure. What do you need from me?”

 

“I will need picture identification from both of you.” Seri and Jim handed her their Starfleet I.D.’s. “Perfect, give me a minute to get this taken care of and we can get everything wrapped up.” It wasn’t long before she was back with a signature PADD. She handed it to Seri first. “Could you sign this for me? Push the continue button, then give it to Jim for his signature.” They did as they were told.  The entire process took less than an hour.

 

“Meghan, do you think you could get the contents of my deposit box transferred to here? I know that it may be difficult, but here is the information.” Seri took the larger PADD and pulled up the information on the box.

 

“It shouldn’t be too difficult. Is there anything in there that cannot be imported to this planet? I need to know. I don’t need specifics, though I would suggest you have an inventory of its contents in case something goes wrong.”

 

“My father has a visual inventory of all contents. It was done before I left for the Academy. Here is the file. I assume you cannot discuss what is in it with anyone. I would like Len’s name to be on it as well.”

 

“No, I cannot discuss it. But I would suggest you come in to check it as soon as it gets here. It should take two to three days.”

 

“We are going to Betazed, but I can come as soon as I get back to Earth.”

 

“That is good.” Meghan had been looking at the PADD as she talked to Seri. “It is done. The box is closed and the contents are being transferred. According to the bank, the contents will be on the transport before 11:00 their time. That will get the contents here early on Monday.”

 

“Perfect! I’ll get here as soon as I can when we get back.” Seri stood and extended her hand. “Thank you for all of your help. It takes a load off of my mind.”

 

“You sound like Len that’s for sure.”

 

“His colloquialisms are rubbing off on me. Will you be there tonight?”

 

“Definitely, we wouldn’t miss one of the family parties. I don’t know if you saw my full name on the door, but I’m Meghan McCoy. I’m married to Len’s first cousin Tucker. Tell Len not to worry, we are bringing the kegs. Oh Jim, watch out for the McCoy girls. You are just Ginny’s type.”

 

Jim smiled. “That won’t be a problem. See y’all tonight.” They left and headed to George’s place. “That was easy. Now to sign Len’s money away. Seri this makes me nervous. What if the whole thing goes sideways?”

 

“Len knows that is a possibility, but this is giving Rob the best chance to get on his feet. Don’t worry there is a contingency plan if he messes it up. Len will buy him out, he can work it, but you and Len will run it. Len may be philanthropic, but he isn’t an idiot.”

 

“Never thought he was. Wait till you meet Celia. She is more than a little protective of the McCoys. She looked at me as if I was a carpetbagger come to town.” With that he held the door to the law office opened for Seri. “Good morning Mrs. Garnett. I would like to introduce you to Seriana Targan.”

 

Celia came around the desk and gave Seri a hug. _“Are you sure this is the same woman?”_

_“She looks the same.”_

“It is so nice to meet you. George told me all about you and what you both did at Emory. I’m sorry. I know you all came here for business. There will be enough time to get to know each other tonight. Let’s go back to my office.”

 

Jim followed with Seri behind him. He had thought the front desk was hers. They entered an office that was light and airy. The walls were a very light yellow that picked up the color of the sun as it shown off of them. The mantel of the fireplace was painted white and the wood was all a light oak. Celia sat behind the carved oak desk and began to pull out several PADDS. “I drew up the contract between you and Rob. It’s a good thing you and Len are doing for him.” She looked into Jim’s eyes. “Don’t worry, attorney client privilege. None of this leaves this room. Rob won’t know that Len is involved.”

 

“Thank you, Mrs. Garnett. I don’t want him to feel obligated or embarrassed. May

 I ask you something?”

 

“Sure Jim. What do you need to know?”

 

“I don’t have any family, not really. I have been listening to Seri today and I realized that if something happens to me Starfleet will contact my mother for instructions. She hasn’t been in my life since I was fourteen. Can I set up a POA with you and have it sent to Starfleet?”

 

“Financial, healthcare, or both?”

 

“Both. Also, I need a will. How much will that run me?”

 

“Is it a simple will?”

 

“Yes. I am leaving whatever I have to Jo. I’ll change it if I get married.”

 

Celia smiled. “It’s free of charge. Trust me I’ll make enough from this deal. Who do you want as your POA for finance, and who do you want for healthcare.”

 

Jim gave it a lot of thought. Len was his first choice, but he realized he would most likely be his doctor if something happened, or he would be lying on a gurney next to him. Same thing went for Seri. He needed someone who wasn’t with them all the time. “I want Lena McCoy for healthcare and George Armistead for financial.”

 

“That is easy to take care of. Can you contact them both for their permission while you are here?”  She handed him a comm to call.  It didn’t take long before she had the verbal permission from both of Jim’s “parents”. “Just give me a couple of hours and I’ll have these drawn up. I’ll send them to Starfleet as soon as you sign them.”

 

“Mrs. Garnett, I have an appointment with Will at 13:00 hours. Can I come back after to get everything?”

 

“Sure, I’ll get your signature as soon as you get back. I want you here when I transmit it to Starfleet.”

 

“Where do I go to order the ice for tonight? Len said we needed it for the kegs, but I don’t think he ordered it.”

 

Seri touched his arm. “He ordered it yesterday. I forget the guy’s name, but he is bringing it. There have been too many names these past few days for me to remember them all.”

 

Celia was laughing at the two of them. “Are you sure you aren’t siblings? You certainly sound like it.”

 

Jim answered quickly. “In every way, but blood.”

 

“I’ll see you both in a little while. Just come straight back, I’ll be in my office.”

 

Seri and Jim left her to her work. The town had woken up while they were in with Celia. “What time is it Kiddo?”

 

“11:30. Want to get an early lunch?”

 

“I need to. I didn’t eat this morning.”

 

“And you had a lot of exercise last night.” Her eyes twinkled when she teased him. It was one of the things Jim enjoyed the most.

 

“How about Italian? You’ll love it.”

 

“Let’s go.” They went across to the restaurant Jim had been introduced to the other night. They laughed and joked as if they had no cares. People came and went, staring at the strangers. “Jim, its 12:40, we should get going. You need to get fitted if you want to have some clothes on during the reception. It is preferred you go clothed there.”

 

“Killjoy. Let me grab my shoes. Tell me what you think of the suit.” Jim paid the bill and they headed to the hovercraft before they went to the shop. Seri had been in a few places like it with her father. He always took her with him when he had errands. The familiar smells were comforting as she ran her hands over the bolts of cloth.

 

Will came out with Carmen and the blue double-breasted suit with white french cuffed shirt. “Jim would you prefer a belt or suspenders?”

 

“I didn’t think about it. What would you suggest?”

 

  
“With your build and the cut of this suit, I would suggest a belt. But I will have suspender buttons put in also. You can get changed in here.” He hung the clothing inside one of the dressing room.

 

Jim stripped and carefully put on the shirt and pants. “Seri, help.”

 

She opened the door. “What is it?”

 

“Should I put on a belt for the fitting? I didn’t get one? I’m surprised I remembered the damn shoes.”

 

“No. You need to get it fitted without a belt.”

 

Carmen came up and grabbed the jacket. “Come over here. This shouldn’t take very long.” He put   
Jim on an elevated platform as he knelt down and began to make chalk mark on the legs.

 

Seri went over to the ties and belts. She knew Jim hadn’t given this much thought, and he would need more than a couple of each. The curtain to the back room was cracked open. She poked her head in and saw Will sitting at a work bench. “Excuse me.”

 

He jumped a little. “I am sorry. May I help you?”

 

“I hope so. I need three belts and maybe a half a dozen ties for the confused looking man out here.”

 

Will smiled. “You must be Lenny’s fiancé. I’m Will. Let me give you a hand.”

 

“How did you know who I was?”

 

“You have his sarcastic sense of humor, and you are stunning. Exactly how I pictured you.”

 

Seri could feel how friendly he was, even if he was trying to be professional. “Let me give you a hand. He has a 32 waist. Mr. Armistead got him two more suits, one in a charcoal and one black, if that helps.”

 

“It does!” She quickly picked out two brown and two black belts. She also grabbed one pair of black leather, and one pair of brown leather suspenders. The ties were a little harder. There was a burgundy one that felt like butter, and a steel blue one that wasn’t quite as thick. By the time she was done he had striped ties, solid ties, and a couple of fun ones as well.  Thanks to her indecisiveness Jim ended up with a dozen ties. She took everything to Will to pay for it before Jim realized what she was doing. This was fun for Seri. It always felt good to do something for someone you loved. “Will, can you tell him I’ll be back?”

 

“Not a problem. Carmen will need some time. He wants to get the other two suits as close to perfect before they are delivered.”

 

Seri all but ran down the street to Hancock’s. The door burst open startling Maria. “Good morning Mrs. Hancock.”

 

“My Seri! You scared me.”

 

“Sorry. I need a pair of cufflinks. I want to get them while Jim is getting his suit fitted. Do you have any?”

 

“Of course, dear. Let me get them from the back. We don’t sell too many so I keep them in the back. There is one pair in this case. Take a look at them while I get the rest.”

 

Seri didn’t care for them. They were simple silver balls, though nice, they weren’t special. Definitely not special enough for her brother. Maria emerged from the back with two trays of cufflinks. They were placed in front of Seri. One tray held white gold and platinum, while the other held yellow and rose gold. It didn’t take her long to decide on a pair of blue sapphire and platinum ones. The sapphires were oval and set in a simple but elegant bezel setting. “How about these Mrs. Hancock?”

 

“Are they for Lenny?”

 

“No ma’am. For my little brother.”

 

“I understand. Let me get a box for you. Don’t forget to show him how to use these. They don’t have the swivel bar. Lenny has a couple like these. He can help if necessary.”

 

“He will need help. But he is so sweet. I want him to have something special.”

 

“My husband liked him. Seems he has something for our Callie.”

 

“I think so. They will be lucky if they get together. But that will be a long ways in the future.”

 

“I know Callie is young. Is he?”

 

“Yes. He is twenty-three. Emotionally, there are time he is forty and times he is sixteen.”

 

“Isn’t that the same with all men?”

 

“In most species.” They shared a laugh at the joke. “I hope you are coming tonight. It will be nice to know someone.”

 

“Are you kidding? We will all be there. You can meet my husband and son. I think most of the shop keepers will be there.” She handed Seri the maroon box. “These are hand made by Asprey in London. Please keep them in the safe when he isn’t using them. They are one of a kind and very hard to replace. I have a feeling if they aren’t there, he will lose one.”

 

“You are probably correct. I’ll hold on to them when we are on Betazed.”

 

“With those two men in your life, you’ll be ready for motherhood.”

 

“Absolutely!” Seri left with a smile.  Jim was still being fitted when she entered the shop. “You look good.”

 

“Don’t sound so shocked. You know the sleeves don’t have buttons?” Jim looked uncomfortable. This was definitely not a comfortable situation for the farm boy.

 

“They are french cuffs. Don’t worry I’ve got that covered. Is he almost done?”

 

“Yes ma’am. His suffering is almost over.”

 

“Thank God! Seri, can we go home after this?”

 

“After we see Celia.”

 

“Shit! I almost forgot. Thank you for reminding me.”

 

Carmen took a step back. “There you go Mr. Kirk. Torcher is over for now. You can change, just leave your suit and shirt on the hangers. Either Will or I will bring them tonight.”

 

“Thank you, sir. I know I was a pain, but I do appreciate everything.” Jim didn’t take long changing into his daily clothes. He felt more comfortable both physically and psychologically when he was in casual clothing. Even the uniforms at he Academy reminded him of the fact that he didn’t quite fit in.

 

Seri knew how he felt, she also knew that with time he would feel at home in suits and uniforms. “Let’s go to Celia’s. Thank you, sir.”

 

“We’ll see you tonight.” Carmen liked the kids. They both seemed sweet.

 

Jim turned back toward him. “Can’t wait! It will be good to have a few people there that I know.” He held the door for Seri. She had grabbed her bags and left with him. “What did you get for Len Kiddo?”

 

“Nothing. Here you go!” She handed him all of the bags except the one with the cufflinks. He would be given those in the car. She didn’t trust him not to lose them.

 

“What the hell! Seri!”

 

“I didn’t want you to have to borrow a tie and a belt. Plus, I got you something from your big sister. Before you say anything, I wouldn’t have this life if it wasn’t for you. You made all of this possible. And don’t forget I love you much more than you love yourself.” She half jumped up and kissed him on the cheek as they continued to walk to the office.

 

“That isn’t hard. I love you too, please never doubt that.” They arrived at the office and went directly to Celia’s office. The PADDs were on the desk.

 

“Hi kids! I have everything done. Jim read everything over and ask me any questions before you sign and I transmit it to Starfleet. Also, I have a copy of your contract with Rob. He signed electronically about fifteen minutes ago. Seri, here are the codes and the account information for Len.” Seri took the small PADD from Celia.

 

Jim took the PADD and began to read the documents carefully. Legalese was almost a foreign language. The contract was as he expected. The will was straight forward. Everything went to Jo if he were to die. The POA’s were a bit more convoluted. “Ma’am, could you translate these for me?”

 

“Translate? That is great!!!! I keep telling George that we speak a different language in here. It is simple Jimmy. It says that if you are unable to make healthcare decisions for yourself, Lena McCoy will be the one to decide what is in your best interest. She will be the one to confer with the doctors and decide what is best for you. The financial one puts George in control of your finances if for some reason you are unable or unfit to do so for yourself. Neither of them may do anything that is against your best interest. I hope that helps.”

 

“It does.” Jim signed the documents and watched as Celia and Seri witnessed his signature. He stayed as they were transmitted to Starfleet and the acknowledgement of receipt was received. “Thank you, Mrs. Garnett. You have been amazing during all of this.”

 

They all stood as Celia came around the desk and hugged Jim. “You are welcome. We’ll see you tonight. We are getting there early to help with any setup, and my niece will be taking care of the kids. She is only sixteen so she won’t be allowed to be at the bonfire very late. One of her friends is also babysitting so they will have a good time.”

 

Jim put all of the bags into the back of the craft. When he sat in the driver’s seat he noticed a small maroon box on the dashboard. He stared at it before taking it and slowly opening the top. The cufflinks were magnificent. “I wanted to get you something special. They go with your eyes.”

 

“Seri, I….”

 

“Please just enjoy them. I enjoyed picking them out for you.”

 

He kissed her on the cheek and blinked back the tears that were forming in the corner of his eyes. His voice was raspy. “Thank you, Kiddo.” He ran his fingers over the stones. He was loved. It wasn’t about the price of the jewelry, or the clothes. It was about the fact that someone loved him enough to think about him, to give him something that would always remind him of that love. The craft began to move up the main street as they drove calmly back home.


	36. chapter 36

Seri had spent the second half of Alpha shift finishing her reports. As much as she loved her job, she hated the paperwork just as much. The lights flashed once, shift over. The PADD was tossed into one of Len’s drawers, and her back was stretched. She opened the door to the office and was hit with the flurry of activity in the medbay. Len was still working; he felt secure and in charge. It was 17:00 hours and she needed to go to the brig. She stood next to Len and smiled at the girl to which he was hooking the osteogenerator. The kid couldn’t have been much older than Jo. When did they start getting so young? “Doctor, may I speak with you when you are finished? _Don’t worry Imzadi, there is nothing wrong._ ”

 

Len finished hooking up the machine and set it to finish knitting the broken tibia in half an hour. “Don’t worry Jean, this won’t hurt.”

 

“Thank you, Dr. McCoy.” She laid back on the pillow and drifted off to sleep. The pain medication he gave her was mild, but it was enough to keep her calm and sedated while the bone mended. Not as simple as a skinned knee, but not difficult either. He had adhered to Seri’s conditions regarding his return to work. As much as he wanted to work on the more extreme cases, he appreciated that he wasn’t ready yet. If he pushed this part of his recovery, it could cause a major setback.

 

Len joined Seri outside his office door. “What is it Peaches? I feel great, and I have been following your instructions. Nothing worse than a few moderate lacerations.”

 

“I know you do. I have to go to the brig. I doubt I’ll be long. Mr. Hendel is waiting for me.”

 

“Please keep him close.”

 

“I’m not reckless Len.” Her hand touched his cheek. “Let me know what we are doing for dinner when you decide.” She kissed his cheek and left for the brig. Len knew she was right. Seri was never reckless. He went back to his job; chances were, he would be done around the same time she was. They would be at the station tomorrow, but tonight was just for them. A relaxing dinner, a long hot bath, then a night of just them, slow and desperately needed.

 

Seri approached the brig. Jim was outside the door. He motioned for her to join him in the meeting room they had occupied the previous day. As soon as the door closed Jim picked her up and spun her around. “Congratulations Kiddo!”

 

“You’ve been talking to Len.” She smoothed out her skirt as soon as he put her down.

 

“I did. Seri, I needed a little good news. Just the fact that you two are moving forward is more than enough to keep me smiling the rest of the night. I won’t get to see Cal until after Jupiter; I needed something to get me through the horror of that day.”

 

“Horror?”

 

“I don’t care what they ask me, but you understand what they will put Bones through. You know what I’m saying? They are going to make him all but relive it. I wish I could make them stop, but I can’t.”

 

“No, but I can. As his therapist I can end the secession. I hope I don’t have to do that. If I do, they will have the right to revisit the questioning at a later date. None of us want that. I will stay in his head. If we are communicating not only can I block other telepaths from our thoughts, I can keep him calm and grounded. It might be a rough night after, but he will get through the debriefing.” Her eyes never left his.

 

“I’ll wait in my cabin until you are done with the prisoner.”

 

“Yes Captain. I shouldn’t be long.” With that the therapist left the meeting room and entered the brig. Handel stood next to the cell forcefield. “Good evening Mr. Hendel.”

 

“Good evening Commander Targan. The prisoner is ready for you.”

 

“Thank you.” She walked to the front of the “Please drop the force field. Hello Dr. Dardrok.”

 

“Dr. Targan.” The Mylan looked exhausted. She knew he hadn’t slept, and his thoughts were scattered. She wasn’t going to get any further information, but she could plant a seed.

 

“I am here to make sure you are well. The Captain wanted me to prepare you for your departure. He also wanted to thank you for all of your help. I’m sure your family will be proud of you. You have helped Starfleet and the Federation capture and detain all of the Mylan agents and double agents. Thank you for that. Is there anything we can do for you to show our appreciation?”

 

Dardrok had gone pale. He looked as if he had been hit. “I didn’t do that. I told him nothing! He knows nothing.”

 

“Who said you told him?” Seri’s smile was predatory, almost evil.

 

“I didn’t tell you anything. We talked about nothing. You are a woman. No woman could ever out think me. If you think I am going to tell you anything you are as dumb as every other member of your species and sex.”

 

“You have already told me everything we need to know. Oh, I’m not a woman. I’m a Betazoid female.” His face fell. In one moment his world came crashing down around him. Seri did what she had set out to do. For the rest of his life he would live with the knowledge that he was the sole cause of his planet’s failure; that his family would be disgraced if his culpability was ever discovered. “Goodbye Dardrok. Kiss Kainill for me.” She stepped out of the cell and left Dardrok to his pain.

 

As soon as Seri stepped out of the cell, Hendel turned the force field on. They walked to the door. Hendel left his subordinate at the controls as he exited with her. He gently took her arm and guided her down the corridor. “Seri,” He rarely called her by her nickname. “are you alright? I heard you in there. I didn’t think you were capable of that.” He released her arm as they continued their walk to the Captain’s quarters.

 

Seri looked up; the security chief towered over her. “That and a lot worse. I didn’t do anything any other interrogator couldn’t have done. I didn’t do what I wanted to do. I wanted to have him live in a psychotic nightmare. But I didn’t do that. I promised those I love that I wouldn’t destroy him. So, I didn’t. Cup… Chief Hendel I hope this doesn’t make you think any less of me. I really want your good opinion.”

 

“Don’t you mean Cupcake?” He smiled down at her as she took the arm he now offered. “It’s alright. I like it. Only the Captain uses that name. Did you think I didn’t know? It means he likes me. We got off to a rough start, but now I think we have a lot more respect for each other. I was with him on Kronos. He showed me who he was. I hoped I have shown him who I am. I want his respect as well as his friendship.”

 

“You have it. Trust me. He looks to you to keep me safe. I doubt he trusts anyone else to do that. Adam, will you be at your home while we are on leave?”

 

“Yes. Jen wants me home. Why?”

 

“I just want to know where to get in contact with you. We want you both at the wedding.”

 

“We would love to be there. Seri, you both deserve happiness. I’ll let Jenn know.”

 

“Also let her know that there is a good chance the Enterprise will be fitted for families to stay together. Do you think she would consider coming on as a therapist if that happens?”

 

“I think she might. She has been doing a lot of work with the crews coming back after long deployments. I’ll talk to her. Let me know what they say.”

 

“I will let you know as soon as I get the word.” They arrived at the Captain’s cabin. Hendel stepped in with Seri. “Jim, it’s done.”

 

“Good evening Mr. Hendel. That was fast.”

 

“Jim, he knows.”

 

“Knows what?” She smiled the smile she used when she teased him. “Oh.” Jim looked nervous.

 

“It’s alright Captain. I like it. It reminds me of how far we have come.”

 

“It’s Jim when we are off duty. I just said to Nyota we have come a long way since Iowa, I guess the same can be said for us.”

 

“Thank you. Call me Adam. I wanted to make sue she was safe until she got here. I know you can be feisty, but still Seri, after everything…”

 

“Thanks Adam, I appreciate it.” He left to go to the mess. Adam wanted to eat and get a good night’s rest. Tomorrow they docked at the station and he was in charge of the prisoner transfer. It was well coordinated between the two ships and the station, but he needed to be sure that the Mylans would be transported quickly. They would have initial problems when the first security teams transported on board, but after that he doubted there would be much of a fight. Once they were on the station they became that security chief’s responsibility.

 

Seri sat next to Jim. “Len is wrapping things up. I know he can feel that I am here. He’ll come here when he’s done. Jim, I’m sorry, there was nothing I could find out from Dardrok. His thoughts were too disjointed.”

 

“I know what you did.”

 

Her nervous chatter ceased. “Are you angry?”

 

“No. I probably would have done the same thing. But you are going to hear something from Len.”

 

“I can deal with that. I didn’t destroy him, just gave him something that will haunt him.”

 

“As long as that doesn’t haunt you.”

 

“It won’t, but what he did to those I love will. It will be with me for the rest of my life.”

 

“It will be with all of us.” It wasn’t long until Len came in.

 

“Hi. Seri why did you do it?”

 

“Because it was the only thing I could do to make me feel useful. If we have to live with this, then so does he.”

 

Len securitized her. It wasn’t Betazed. She was calm and completely in control. She didn’t destroy Dardrok. “Alright, I understand. So, what do you think, should we all go get dinner?”

 

The three went to the mess. The young enlisted and junior officers moved to the tables as far from the group as possible. Jim thought it was amusing, Len didn’t seem to notice. “Bones, what would you like? I’ll grab it.”

 

“Just a salad I guess. We’ll have real food soon. I’m looking forward to it, probably more than I should.”

 

“No, I am too. I keep thinking about real eggs. Seri let’s go.”  They grabbed dinner quickly and returned to their table. “Scotty said the refit may take a little over a year. He is excited about a new water reclamation unit.”

 

Seri seemed confused. “A water reclamation unit? I thought we had one.”

 

Len was enjoying his salad. It was nice to listen to mundane conversation. No one talking about Mylus or what will happen with the prisoners, just talking about the refit. This was as close to normal as he had felt since he sat in the cell.

 

“It is better than the one we have Kiddo. If what Mr. Scott says is correct there will be no need for restrictions on water usage.”

 

“You mean hot showers and hot baths with a completely filled tub?” At that moment Scotty walked into the mess. Seri jumped up and ran across the room to him, throwing her arms around his neck and squealing, “Thank you! Thank you!” as she kissed his cheeks over and over.

 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I’ll try to do it again.” He pulled back a little so he could see her.

 

“Hot water, endless hot water!!!”

 

“Aye lassie, endless hot water.” He looked at the captain. “I see you told her about the refit.”

 

“Yes. Want to join us?”

 

Scotty walked over to the table as Seri bounced behind him. “I would love to, but Jayla is calling in a few minutes. She has some questions about her classes.”

 

“Sure she does.” Jim smiled at his chief engineer. “Have fun.”

 

“Jim, I…oh, nevermind.” With that Scotty left to grab dinner and go to his cabin.

 

“You know you shouldn’t tease him too much about Jayla.” Seri was concerned Scotty would lose confidence and stop calling the beautiful engineering major.

 

“I don’t, just enough so he knows I noticed. We should get some rest tonight. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. What do you say Bones?”

 

“I have to go to sickbay. I forgot something in my office. After that. I promise, we’ll go to bed.”

 

Jim knew what that meant. “Just promise me you both will sleep for at least seven hours.”

 

Len left the table as he winked at Jim. He would grab the goodie bag from his desk and meet Seri in their room. “Good night Jimbo. Seri, I’ll meet you back in the cabin.”

 

“I’ll see you there. I promise we will both be well rested for tomorrow. Now go call Cal. I know you are dying to talk to her.” With that Seri left the mess.

 

Jim grabbed their trays and placed them in the replicator. They disappeared quickly. It was too bad nightmares couldn’t be vanquished as easily. She was right, he wanted to talk to Cal. It would be two more days and then he would be in her arms.

 

Jim entered his cabin. He loved the new quarters. Hopefully Cal would want to join him on the Enterprise. He had another year left on his enlistment, but if she wanted when the year was up, he would leave it all for her. He took a quick shower and threw on shorts. He played with his necklace as he punched her number into the comm. It only took seconds for it to buzz into life.

 

“Hi Honey. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

 

“No. I’ve been waiting for your call. How are you baby? Please tell me the truth, don’t just say okay.”

 

“I need you. Last night was rough. Len and Seri got me through it, but all I wanted was you.” He had been fingering his necklace, using it to keep him calm and grounded.

 

“I’m here Jim. Don’t ever doubt that I am always with you. Please look at me.”

 

Jim hadn’t realized his eyes had drifted down to his left hand as it rested on the PADD. He looked up at her without raising his chin. “Will you be in San Francisco?”

 

“I will be wherever you need me. Do you need me on the station?” Jim’s heart began to race. He wanted to tell her yes. He desperately needed her. But, Captain Kirk couldn’t be seen as weak, especially not by those under his command. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea for them to see him lean on his lover.

 

“It’s okay. I’ll have a debriefing that will take awhile.”

 

“I’ll be there. You can’t lie to me. I know you.”

 

“Yes, you do. Thank you.”

 

“For?”

 

“Understanding…everything. I love you. You know that, right?”

 

“Even before you first told me. I love you too. I’ll be there as soon as you dock.”

 

Jim did the math for the travel time in his head. “You’re there already, aren’t you?”

 

She smiled softly. “See, you know me too. I do love you Jim. Do you think the captain of the Enterprise will let me hitch a ride back to Earth? I hear he can be an ass sometimes.”

 

“He can be, but I think I can talk him into letting you come on board.” She could always make him smile. She always knew what he needed, even if he didn’t.

 

“Jim, do you want me to talk to you until you fall asleep?” She had done that a few times since Kahn. He would fall asleep to her telling him about her day, or what they needed to do when they got home. It was all beautifully banal.

 

“Please.”  He brought the comm into the bedroom. “Tell me about what we are going to do when we get home.” Cal talked to him about the extension to the main house and how the bedrooms may be ready by the time they got home, how Jake had hired a new manager for the seasonal workers, how the pond was getting dredged over the spring, how Maggie was going to foal soon. As she talked his breathing began to change. It wasn’t long before he was asleep.

 

Callie turned off the comm. Her room on the station was relatively comfortable, but she couldn’t wait to be on board ship. She wanted to talk to Seri about the rumors that the Enterprise would be getting a couple more counselors. The ship was set to dock at 9:00. She was glad she had decided to meet them there. San Francisco would be too crowded, and she didn’t want the universe to know what Captain Kirk’s girlfriend looked like. Everyone thought he was unattached and they both wanted to keep it that way as long as possible, though she doubted their relationship would remain a secret after this week. She turned off the light the faster she fell asleep, the faster 9:00 would come.

 

Len entered their cabin with the goodie bag. Seri had candles burning and he could smell the bubble bath she loved as it wafted in from the bathroom. “I’m here Peaches, and I brought the toys.” He walked to the bathroom. She was in the shower and had begun to lather herself with the bubble bath gel.

 

“Good. Would you like to join me?”

 

“May I assume that was a rhetorical question?” It took less than a minute for Len to be naked and in the shower. She turned to him as he wrapped her in his arms. No words, no thoughts, just love. Tomorrow would be the inquest, but tonight was theirs.

 

The water washed the soap from her as she took the bar and began to rub it on the washcloth. It was a soap she had picked up on Yorktown after the birthday party. It had bergamot and sandalwood in it, there were even slight essences of tobacco layered into the complex fragrance. It was a decidedly masculine fragrance. She took her time washing him, she wanted him to feel that he was safe and taken care of by the person who adored him.

 

The shower ended with them kissing passionately under the warm fall of water. Seri was completely enveloped in Len’s arms until they stepped out of the stall. He dried them both and led her to the couch next to the table that held the bag. It was bigger than the one in his old quarters, and softer. A condom was snatched and placed on the couch before he sat down and pulled her onto his lap. Her knees fell on either side of his hips. He wasn’t hard and she wasn’t wet, not yet. Len pulled her to him and buried his face into the crook of her neck; drank in her fragrance. She smelled like home.

 

Seri tangled her fingers into his hair. She pulled herself closer till they were completely flush with one another. She was lost in the moment. All of her nerves were turning on. It was as if she could feel every touch through to her soul. The feeling was soft, but intense. All the love they had felt over the years seemed to culminate in this moment. This was truth, love in its purest form. “I love you Leonard.” Was all she could say, it came out as a whisper.

 

“I love you too Seriana.” The simplicity of the words held the truth of the statements. All they felt, all they were in those moments was love. They could both feel it in every cell. He had become as hard as she was wet. She took the condom from its resting place on the couch, removed it from its wrapper and rolled it down his shaft. Slowly she rose onto her knees and guided him into her. Their eyes locked as he was enveloped by her walls, warm and throbbing with every heartbeat. His fingers ghosted up her spine. She traced his forehead and hairline with the tips of her fingers.

 

Slowly she moved in his lap, rocking back and forth at times, sliding up and down at others. Her head rested on his shoulder as she tried to get even closer. Len was completely lost in the feeling. He wanted it to last as long as possible. Why was this time different? What about this night made him feel her in him even though she didn’t join with him the way she usually did? Carefully she leaned back until her back arched and her breast stood completely erect. Len buried his head between them, licking, tasting.

 

She had never tasted like this before, sweet and savory all at once. As she sat up she let her fingers explore his arms and shoulders. Before they were too close her hands trailed down his chest to his abdomen. She traced where the lacerations and burns had been; willing their memory to disappear as easily as the scars. He removed her hands and brought her fingers to his mouth. As her fingers were sucked one by one, she began to rock again.

 

She took one of her hands from him and began to rub her clit, slowly at first, then increasingly fast. He could feel her walls begin to spasm, without warning she clamped onto him as her orgasm hit hard. Seri screamed his name into his shoulder as the wave continued to come. Len held her until she came down. His hands continued to run slowly up and down her back, his release hadn’t come yet. It was taking all of his control not to fall over the edge. It couldn’t be over yet. This feeling needed to last.

 

“Seri, wrap your legs around my waist.” She did as she was told. He picked her up and carried her until he back was against the common wall to the bathroom. With her braced against the wall he began to move in and out of her.

 

“Take us into the bathroom. I want to watch you fuck me. Please Len I want to see everything.” With that she wrapped her legs tighter. He took her into the bathroom. There were mirrors on three of the four walls. He pushed her against the stone outside wall of the shower. The smooth wall felt cold on her back, but this gave the best view in the room. Her insides twitched as she could see them joined at every angle. As he began to push in and out of her she watched him in the mirrors. His ass tightened every time his slammed into her.

 

His moans joined hers as he put his forehead on her shoulder. He could see his dick as it moved in and out of her, wet and dark pink. He felt as if he would explode, but he wasn’t quite ready to cum yet. He stopped thrusting and moved his right hand to her clit. She had moved her hands to the top of the shower wall. Now she understood the advantage of the walls not being more than six and a half feet tall. The top made the perfect handle for sex. He wanted to feel her clamp down on his dick again. He rubbed her clit as her moans became louder with each stroke. He felt the gush of her juices before he felt her clamp onto him. “Fuck me Seri. Goddamn, fuck me as hard as you want.” With that she used her leverage to push herself onto him as he slammed forward. Her scream mixed with his as the came together.

 

It took a while before they stopped their thrusts. Both felt as if it would never end. Finally, they came down. Len carefully lowered the both of them to the floor. He knew he had to pull out quickly, he wished it wasn’t necessary. He wanted to stay in her until he was too soft and fell out naturally. But if he did that the condom would be pointless, and he didn’t want to risk a pregnancy until after her body adjusted to the new hormonal levels. He didn’t want her to experience a miscarriage if it could be avoided.

“Imzadi, I think we need to lay down. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I could stand long enough to take a shower.”

 

“No, I am with you. We can get cleaned up later.” He kissed her nose as he helped her up. The condom was removed, flushed, and his dick wiped off before he followed her to the bed. The sheets felt soft and inviting as he laid down and pulled her gently into his arms. His head rested on hers as he went over the past day in his head. It hadn’t been the easiest day, but it had been a good one. “Len, I was proud of you today.” She snuggled in closer, buried her nose in his chest.

 

“Why? I fixed a broken leg and a few lacerations. Scotty could have done it.”

 

“You said goodbye. I know how hard that was. Then you started the process of moving forward. You’ll get past this. Not over it, that is impossible, but you will get past it.”

 

“I won’t ever forget him. I want our children to know all about him. Baby, what do I say to his mother. I know what you told me before, but I don’t want to mess it up.”

 

“You can’t mess it up. Mama is with her, and she wants to see you. Mrs. Chekov is worried about you. Jim told her you would be alright, but she still needs to see you.”

 

“I killed her son.”

 

“Stop that. She doesn’t need to know the details. Give her the kindness of that.”

 

“I shall. She is so sweet. She doesn’t deserve any of this.”

 

“No, none of you do. Christine is going with his body to the mortician. Jim picked out the coffin. His mother doesn’t want him cremated. Sulu got his uniform ready. Christine won’t have to do much.” As she told him what was going to happen Len pulled her in tighter. She was the only thing keeping him grounded.

 

“I’m glad she will be with him. Seri, I can’t do it.”

 

“No one expects you to.”

 

“They will do a good job. I know she’ll make sure of that. I’ll stay with his mom when she views him. Please don’t tell me no. I know Jim and Sulu will be there, but I need to be there as well. I need to take care of his mother for him.”

 

“I won’t tell you no. I know you need to do this. If you want me there, I will stay with you.”

 

“That would help. I know her, she’ll lean on me. She called me once a week the first two years we were at the Academy. Remember that second summer when he came to stay at the farm for the two weeks we had off? She had asked me to take him because she had to be off planet and she didn’t want him to be alone.”

 

“That was a fun two weeks. I remember Cal trying to teach him to milk a cow. I think I learned all of the Russian curse words when 42 kicked him. That was the end of the milking lesson. Len,”

 

“Hmmm.”

 

“these are the things you want to tell his mother if she wants to talk.”

 

“I know. I guess I am just scared of the unknown. But you and Jim will be there. I know I’ll get through it. Do we have to take a shower tonight? I am relaxed and this feels comfortable.”

 

“Nope. I feel comfortable. We need to get up by 7:00 to get cleaned up and ready for docking. Lights off. Good night Imzadi. I love you with all of my heart.”

 

“Good night Peaches. I love you more than I think you could possibly know.”

 

When they got back to the farm Seri wanted to talk to Len about having a bonfire the night before their wedding. Not as wild as the first one she had been to, but one that would give the crew and their close friends and family time to come together and simply enjoy each other’s company. It would all begin to get better when they got to the farm. They both slept soundly with the knowledge that soon they would all be home.

 


	37. chapter 37

Len woke slowly to the feeling of something tickling his chest. Jo’s fingers were playing with his necklace as she slept in his arms. Carefully he pulled his arm from under her. “Daddy?”

 

“It’s ok Turtle, you can stay in bed if you want.”

 

“No, I want to stay with you.” The little one sat up in bed. “Can we pick some peaches today? I can climb the trees without any help now.”

 

“Alright baby, but no higher than the first few branches.” He didn’t want her to get too hurt if she fell out of the tree. He had broken more than one bone doing that. “You need to brush your teeth again and get dressed.” He noticed Seri’s note on the end table. “Aunt Seri went with Uncle Jim to town. I know your grandma and Uncle George are going into town, so, I guess that leaves us and Aunt Callie. She loves to pick peaches, but she ends up eating as she picks.”

 

“But daddy, that is what makes it fun!” Jo jumped from the bed and walked to the door. “I won’t be long. Do you want me to get Aunt Callie?”

 

“No, I’ll go wake her up.” He didn’t know if she was dressed. “You go get ready and get yourself a bowl of cereal. I’ll be down after a very quick shower.”

 

“Ok, daddy!” This was going to be the best day ever! Jo left and ran to her room.

 

Len went out after her. He went to the end of the hall and lightly knocked on Callie’s door before he entered. “Hey sleepyhead, it’s 11:00, time to rise and shine.” Callie pulled the covers over her head. “You know something? This room smells like sex. Care to tell me anything?”

 

Callie sat up quickly. The sheets fell down exposing the hickey she had on her left breast. “Len please.”

 

“Callie, I can’t believe…actually yes I can. Fuck it! That is the problem. I can’t believe he would…” Len passed pissed and went to completely angry.

 

“Len, I love him and I think he loves me. Please stop, please.” She was crying. Her entire life she worked to make Len proud. He had never been angry with, or disappointed in, her before this morning.

“Did you say that to him, did he say it to you?”

 

“No, I’m not that stupid. But we did promise each other that if either of us met someone we could become serious with, we would let the other one know. Neither of us is ready to make a commitment like you and Seri, but maybe someday. Len, I haven’t felt like this about anyone else. He treated me different, he cared about how I felt. He made last night all about me.”

 

“He what?” Len seemed surprised.

 

“He made it all about me.” Len smiled and touched the side of her face. She leaned into his hand. “Please don’t be angry. I know I disappointed you. I’m sorry.”

 

“Baby, I’m not disappointed in you, or him. And I am not angry. I was just caught off guard. Jim is in my life till the day I die and so are you. I just didn’t want to have it all ruined. I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to be. I understand. Please don’t tell him you know anything. He is scared of what you would think. He doesn’t know you can smell sex in the air. I always hated that you could do that.” She smiled at him. “Now leave, I need to get dressed.”

 

Len jumped up. “Jo wants to pick some peaches, and I have to get the pit ready for the bonfire. I thought I could stack some of the wood.”

 

“Shit, I need to get to town. I want to get to Hancock’s.”

 

Len noticed the anchor around her neck. “That is new.”

 

Her hand went to the charm. “He gave it to me last night.”

 

“Callie please be careful. I don’t want to see either of you hurt.”

 

“We are being very careful. Len, I want to get him something to keep with him. I take it Seri gave you that.” She pointed to his talisman.

 

“She did. I think I may have something you might want to give him. Throw on something and meet me in my room.” Len left for his room.

 

Callie put on shorts and a tee shirt, Len’s tee shirt. That actually went better than she had thought it would. She and Jim survived, that was a better result than she had projected. By the time she got to his room he had his safe opened and a box sitting on the bed. “Len, what’s that? I don’t remember ever seeing it.”

 

“You haven’t. Grandmom gave it to me. It has all of the family jewelry in it. There are a couple or pieces I think you might consider for Jim. If you don’t like any of them, we can go for an adventure as Jo says.”

 

Len opened the box. It was huge and had five internal trays. One held rings, one held necklaces, one held the pearl pieces, the other two held an assortment of, brooches, bracelets, earrings, watches, and pocket watches. “Len, I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Just take a look and see if there is anything you think would work.” He looked both nervous and excited. “Callie, only you, mama, and I know about this. Ginny has no idea this exists, though she knows I got the family jewelry. She has no idea what that means.”

 

Ginny looked at the necklaces. She knew he could ware one when he was at the Academy. Necklaces could be worn under the uniform. “Len, this is perfect.” It was a gold medal with a thistle in the middle of a shield. Cal had looked up the Kirk family crest, heraldry was a hobby of hers. “The thistle is on one of the Kirk family crests. I am assuming he is of Scottish origin. I remember reading something like that about his father.”

 

“I think you are right. We had to study the Kelvin and George Kirk. I remember reading something about that. Scotland likes claiming that family, not ours.” Len chuckled. “Callie, you can have anything you want. I have a polishing cloth.”

 

“Len, do you think he would like this? I see him when I look at it.” She fingered the medal as tears fell down her cheeks. “He said he had nothing like what he gave me. No one ever cared enough for him to give him anything.”

 

Len brushed away her tears. “I think Seri gave him cufflinks. I can read what she thinks.”

 

“Then I guess I shouldn’t give him this.”

 

“Why? Callie, this is nothing like what she got him. This will let him keep you close at all times. Cufflinks are more of a gift from a sister, not a…”

 

“Lover?”

 

“Exactly. I won’t tell him I know anything. I’ll let him tell me when he is ready. Sis, he is going to love this, but I would give it to him in private. So you know, this piece is from 1884. It was made to symbolize our ties to our Scottish ancestry. It is based on the thistle found on the old royal   standard of Great Britain.”

 

“How do you know all of this.”

 

“I’m brilliant and know all.” His eyes played with her. “Grandmom wrote down something about each piece in the collection. I use to read it at night. It is 14k gold, but it is pretty thick. I think we should change the chain out for one of these. They are longer and heavier.”

 

“Can I try them on you? Your neck is a little thicker, but it is close.”

 

“Sure.” She tried the original chain. He was right, it was far too short. There was another one that held a crusader’s cross. It was thicker than the first. She put it around Len’s neck, perfect.

 

“Is this one ok? If not, I can keep looking.” She didn’t want to take something Len wanted to keep for himself.

 

“Baby, you can take it all. Well almost all, there are a few things I want for Jo and Seri. You know you mean more to me than things.”

 

Her arms wrapped around his neck as she buried her face in his neck. “I don’t want to mess things up like I always do. I want this to remind him he is an exceptional man.”

 

“He will remember that you are with him every time he feels it. And you are right he is exceptional, just like you.”

 

“Are my earrings from this box?”

 

“No, I bought them. Took me over an hour to pick out the stones. Why?”

 

“Just wanted their backstory.” She let go of him. “I like that story a lot. My big brother really loves me.”

 

He kissed her on the nose. “You know I do. Okay kid, go get ready. Jo will be in here soon and I need to get this put away.” He tossed her the polishing cloth that was in the bottom tray. “Use this. It works great to get rid of the tarnish and polish it. Just put it on my dresser when you are done.”

 

Cal grabbed the cloth and the necklace. It would take awhile to get the piece the way she wanted it, but she had at least an hour of free time even if she picked the peaches with Jo.

 

Len took a Starfleet shower and dressed just as quickly. Jo would be in the kitchen by now and the last thing he wanted to do was leave her to her own devices. She may have been Joce and his daughter, but she was also Callie’s niece. Too much time on her own, and Ollie might be pink or purple. He almost ran down the back stairs.

 

Jo was eating her cereal at the table. “Hi Daddy. Mommy says you shouldn’t run down the stairs.”

 

“Your mom is right. Aunt Callie is going to pick peaches with us. We just have to wait for her.” Len poured himself some cereal and sat with his baby.

 

“Do you think Aunt Callie will marry Uncle Jim?”

 

Len almost choked on his cereal. “What makes you think that?”

 

“They do a lot of things together. And they really like each other.”

 

“They are friends. They haven’t known each other very long baby.”

 

“But if they are friends then shouldn’t they marry. You and Aunt Seri are friends, and Mommy and Evan are friends; you are all getting married.”

 

“There is more to getting married than that.”

 

“What else is there. I thought that being friends was why adults got married.”

 

“It is, but there are other things that adults need to feel to get married. They have to have the same goals and similar beliefs.”

 

“But they have those if they are good friends. So, they should get married.”

 

“They also have to love each other.”

 

“Friends love each other.” From under her thick black lashes, green eyes studied her father as she finished her breakfast.

 

“It is a different kind of love.”

 

She got up and placed her bowl in the sink. “What do you mean? What kind of love?”

 

At that moment Callie came down the steps. “Thank God. Hi sis.”

 

“Daddy, what kind of love?”

 

“Jo, go put on your sneakers. The boots won’t work.” He was avoiding the question. The sex talk could come in a couple of years.

 

“Fine.” She walked up the steps still thinking about what her dad meant by a different kind of love.

 

“Callie, I owe you one. I don’t mind that talk, I just don’t think she is ready for it yet.” He cleared the table and leaned against the counter with his back to the sink.

 

Callie hugged her big brother around the waist. Len held her to him. I love you idiot, you know that right?”

 

He rested his head on top of hers. “I love you too jerk. I know how much you love me, its just a little less than I love you.”

 

“I doubt that. I never want to disappoint you.”

 

“You can’t disappoint me. Cal, I’m sorry for earlier.”

 

“You don’t have to be. You were just worried.”

 

“I had no right to act the way I did. Do you know how long it took me to fall in love with Seri?”

 

“No.”

 

“About two hours. It was less than a month before I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.”

 

“I love him Len. I fell in love with him the first night I met him. I don’t know why, but I did. I am not stupid. I know when a guy is trying to play me. He is genuine, he never lied or played me.”

 

“He wouldn’t do that. Can I tell you something?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“I think he loves you. He won’t say it, and you are right fidelity isn’t for either of you yet, but I think at the least you will be lifelong friends.”

 

“God, I hope so.” Jo joined them in the kitchen.

 

“Grandma and Uncle George are up. They said to tell you they are going to pick up the disposable table cloths.”

 

“Thanks Turtle.” Callie hadn’t let go of him. “Can you go to the summer kitchen and get three bushels?”

 

“I got this daddy!” Jo left the two of them to their needed time together.

 

“Callie, you are a good and intelligent woman. You two will make a great team, even if you don’t end up together.”

 

“Thank you, Len. I’m just glad you aren’t angry. I can handle anyone else being angry with me, just not you.”

 

“I’m not. We should get going before Jo starts climbing too high in those trees.” He released her.

 

“We don’t want her breaking her arm the way you did.” They walked to the grove where Jo had already put bushels under three of the trees. “The cousins say they need ten bushels for the shine.”

 

“We’ll pick these. They can get the rest after the harvest is done. I still need to set up the fire pit. Jo can you grab three more bushels?”

 

Jo ran back to the summer kitchen. “Good idea. That way we won’t have to hear them. Those two whine more than little girls.” They started to pick the ripest peaches. Jo placed the bushels under three more trees. She climbed the last tree like a monkey and began to drop the peaches into the bushel.

 

It didn’t take long for them to fill all six bushels. Cal had eaten three peaches and Jo ate one that was half the size of her head. “Okay you two. There is as much juice on you as there is in the peaches.”

 

“We are taking the hint.”

 

“What hint? You are both sticky messes.”

 

“Come on Jojo, lets get cleaned up.” Cal knew Len was giving her time to clean the necklace. She wasn’t a mess, but Jo was.

 

Len took the small craft to the bonfire area. This was the first time he had real time to himself. The moments after Ginny left weren’t peaceful, and he kept waiting for someone to come to him. Down here nothing had changed from the time he was a teen. The pines smelled fresh as the breeze blew through the woods. He had thought about eliminating most of the trees and expanding the field, but the thought of loosing this place gave him pause. The woods were his place of peace. The woods, the pond, and the chapel were home. His eyes closed as he memorized the smell. All of this was his. Damn, he had never felt that way before this moment. He had felt the responsibility and the weight of it, but not the peace.

 

Seri and he would live here, marry here, raise a family here, and in the end, they would lie in the grave yard together under the pines. These were the certainties that gave him peace. His heart was here, no matter where Starfleet took him, his heart would always be here. He took the shovel from the craft and began to dig a hole about a foot deep and six feet around. They would need a pit about that size if the bonfire was to be a success.

 

It took around an hour and a half for Len to finish the pit. He was covered in dirt and sweat. Nothing could have felt better. When Seri got home he was going to suggest they take a short nap to get ready. If the three of them could even get an hour of sleep in it would help. He felt her as she pulled up with Jim. _“I’m down at the pit. I’ll meet you on the porch. Jo and Cal are getting cleaned and dressed. If I know them, Jo will be in her room reading and Cal will be in the tub. You should send Jim in to get her.”_

_“So, you know.”_

_“Callie won’t lie to me. Don’t tell Jim I know. I think she wants some time with him. I desperately need a shower, and we all need to rest.”_

_“I know he needs some time with her. I’ll meet you on the porch._ Jim, I’m going to wait here for Len. You should go get Cal. She is getting washed.”

 

“What if Len guesses?”

 

“Let me deal with him. It feels like she needs you. We should all rest before the guests start to arrive. Jim, don’t overthink this. You can overthink things like this.” Jim gave her a kiss and ran to Cal.

 

It was only a few minutes before Seri heard Len pull up in the craft. He got out of the truck and came bounding up the stairs. “Give me a kiss.” She threw her arms around his neck and gave him the kiss he asked for. “Now that is true love.

 

She had dirt on her face. “Yes, it is. Now I need to wash my face and change into clean clothes. Here is the PADD from Mrs. Garnett.”

 

He took the PADD and followed her into the house. Len stopped by Jo’s room first. “Hey Turtle. Why don’t you come to my room?”

 

“DADDY! You are really dirty!”

 

“Yes I am. Come on baby.” She followed her daddy to his room but walked a few feet behind him.

 

“You smell too.”

 

“Keep it up and I’ll hug you.” She squealed and ran past him into the bedroom.

 

Seri was in the bathroom washing her face. “Hi kid. Look what your dad did to me.”

 

“Aunt Seri, you need to learn how to duck.”

 

“Probably. Jojo, we all need to take a nap.” Len had gone into the bathroom and closed the door. Seri could hear the water turn on.

 

“I don’t think I can sleep. Will daddy be angry.”

 

“No baby. But he wants you to rest. You can lie in bed, or in our sitting room and read a book until grandma and Uncle George come home. Is that okay with you?”

 

“It is. Tell daddy I’ll be in my room until grandma gets home. I’ll see if she needs any help. This will be the first time I can help.”

 

“You can put the bed linens in the sunroom for your sleep over. But do that after grandma tells you what to do.”

 

“Okay. Tonight, is going to be fun. I love roasting marshmallows. And this year I won’t get burned.” With that she left for her room. Seri heard the door close before she took off her pants and shirt. They needed to go into the hamper after what Len had done. Burned? What the hell went into roasting marshmallows?

 

_“They melt and can drip. Plus, she put it in her mouth before her mother or I could stop her. She was almost six then.”_

 

Seri locked the bedroom doors and went into the bathroom. “Ok, now I understand. I’ve never even eaten a marshmallow, let alone roasted one.”

 

Len was still in the shower. “We’ll have to remedy that. I’m not very tired, but I bet you could nap. Do you want me to leave you alone?”

 

“No, I think I could tire you enough to nap.” He hadn’t noticed her strip completely. She was in the shower with her hand on his dick and her tongue in his mouth before he knew what happened. Len knew the sex wouldn’t always be this frequent, but newness hadn’t rubbed off yet. They enjoyed each other until they could barely stand. “Ready for a nap?”

 

“God yes.” He kissed her under the water one last time before shutting it off. Sarah had put fresh towels in the bathroom. They were soft and warm from the heated towel rack. After drying off they both climbed under the covers and cuddled into each other. It wasn’t long before they were both asleep. Len had set a wakeup call for 17:30. That would give them around an hour to rest. The guest wouldn’t be arriving until around 18:00 or 18:30. If the cousins came early that didn’t matter, they knew where everything was and would make themselves at home.

 

Jim knocked on Cal’s door, no answer. Shit that was right, she was getting cleaned up. He went in, locked the bedroom door, and softly knocked on the bathroom one. “Cal, may I come in?”

 

“Sure.” He walked into a bathroom lit solely by candles. It smelled like warm vanilla. “Come here Jim. I don’t bite. Well, that isn’t exactly true.” Her giggle was sweet.

 

Jim hadn’t realized he had frozen as soon as he saw her in the tub. Her dark brown hair was piled on the top of her head. A few loose stands hung on either side of her face and down her back. Not many, but enough to give her the look of an Edwardian fantasy.  Her eyes were lined in a green black that showed off her long lashes and deep green eyes. The candle light danced on her hair and face, it gave a warm golden hue to the room. “Cal, I…”

 

“Take off your clothes and come here. The water is warm, and the bath fits two. Come here blue eyes.” With that she draped her feet over the sides of the tub. Jim couldn’t see all of her through the bubbles. He closed his eyes and created a mental picture of what had opened just for him. “Take your clothes of slowly.”

 

With all of the self-control he could muster, Jim took of his clothes as slowly as possible and draped them over the chair in the corner. He stood in front of her completely naked, completely exposed. “Is this what you wanted?”

 

“It’s a start.” He climbed into the tub and knelt between her legs. Instead of leaning back, he leaned over her with each of his hands on either side of her head. Her legs wrapped around him as his mouth descended on hers. Her tongue ran along his bottom lip, slow and promising. One day he wanted her to do that to other parts of him. But that would be up to her. He would never push her. He opened his mouth for her. Their tongues tangled and massaged as they tried to get as deep as possible. No matter how deep their tongues went, it was never deep enough.

 

“How about that. Better?”

 

“Definitely.” Her voice was just above a whisper. Jim could feel her hand rub the inside of his thigh. He had started to get hard as soon as he saw her. This was going to drive him insane. His lips crashed onto hers. No more softness. He needed her. It was an almost primal need. He wanted to be a part of her, to have her be a part of him. Cal pulled out of the kiss. “What do you want, tell me what you want.”

 

“I want you. Fuck, Cal I need you. I have never needed a woman, but I need you.”

 

“You have me. Let’s get out of the tub.” He stood up, his body glistened in the candle light. Every ripple, every muscle, stood out. Cal got out of the tub. He watched her as the water trailed down her breasts. His dick was throbbing, twitching. She glided to him as he stepped out of the tub. Her fingers danced over his arms feeling every dip and bulge. Jim wanted to grab her, to take her, but something told him that letting her go would be much better.

 

Cal had seen sculptures and paintings of male bodies. She thought they were idealized fantasies. No man could be that perfect. She had been wrong. Jim was better than any work of art. The water trickled trails down his pecs and over his abdomen. She allowed her finger tips to follow the trails. As she lost herself in the fantasy his head fell back. He needed to gain some control or this was going to be one of his more embarrassing moments.

 

Her hands moved from his abdomen to his sides.  This was a memory that would stay with him until he died. There would most likely be other sexual encounters in his life, but they would all be compared to Cal and he doubted any would stand up. As he reveled in his thoughts he missed her dropping to her knees on the bathmat. He missed all of her movements until he felt her tongue lick across his head.

 

His sharp intake of breath encouraged her. She flattened her tongue and ran it slowly up the back of his shaft. Jim’s fingers tangled in her hair. If she were any other woman he would have begun to thrust deeper into her mouth. With Cal he wanted it to last as long as possible. She placed him into her mouth, wrapping her lips around his dark pink dick. She couldn’t take it all so she used her right hand to jack him off as she sucked and licked him. He tasted amazing, not to salty, just perfect. She had never enjoyed giving head the way she did at this moment.

 

Cal was never cock crazy. She had known girls in university that gave head the way some gave handshakes. That was never her. But this was Jim. She couldn’t get enough of him. To her he was perfection, even with all of his imperfections. She could feel his legs begin to shake as his balls started to pull up. “Cal, stop. Please, Cal I don’t want to…” His fingers tightened in her hair as he tried to pull out. She wrapped her tongue around the head of his dick as she pushed him further in to her mouth. Her tongue released as she grabbed his ass and pushed him forward. As much as he tried he could not pull out. All control was relinquished.

 

His body tensed as he came. He hadn’t wanted this. He never came in a partner’s mouth, it was rude in his mind. But, she had wanted this, she had made sure it would happen. The after shocks were almost as intense as the orgasm. She didn’t stop the suction, before he knew it he was cumming again. “Agghh! Goddamn it! Fuck. Please don’t stop. Cal I can’t stop. I can’t stop.” He was unconsciously thrusting into her mouth as his hands held her tighter. She smiled around him. Cal doubted he ever allowed himself to completely lose control. This was what she wanted, to give him something, to make it all about him.

 

After what seemed like an eternity to him, Jim came down. He almost collapsed. Cal removed her mouth and stood quickly, giving him stability as she put her arms under his. She guided him back to the tub. “Jim sit here on the edge.” He did what he was told, even if he wanted to protest he didn’t have the energy. She drained some of the water, added hot water, and put in some of the vanilla bean bath gel. Gently she helped him into the tub. He was still a little unsteady.

 

“There you go Jimmy.” Cal didn’t get in with him. She took the wash cloth and gently bathed him. He never had anyone give him this kind of attention. Is this what love was, complete surrender? She took care of him, cared about what he wanted. He was good in bed, he even had a reputation for it, but no one had ever given to him without expecting something in return.

 

“Cal, I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?”

 

“I wish I could reciprocate, but I don’t even know how I am going to get to the bed.”

 

Cal had finished washing him. She put her hand under his chin and lifted his head. “I don’t want you to do anything. This was me doing something for you. I want today to be for you.” He kissed her gently. She helped him out of the tub and dried him. Jim still didn’t have the strength to do much more than stand. “Jim, let me help you to bed.” He allowed her to help him walk to the bed. She had already turned the bed down. The covers were pulled over him as he settled in. “Jim, don’t go to sleep yet. I have something for you.”

 

Cal went to the mantel and picked up the necklace. It was hidden in her hand as she sat next to him on the bed. After Jo had go to her room, she had taken the time to clean and polish the medal and chain. It had taken her almost an hour, but by the time she was done it looked brand new. She was nervous but didn’t know why. His approval meant a lot. She wanted him to know how she felt, that he was special.

 

“Cal, what do you have?”

 

“I wanted to give this to you. It has been in our family since 1884. It reminded me of you. Your family crest has a thistle in it, and this has one. So, it is you. Anyway, I wanted you to have it. If you don’t like it, that’s ok. Just tell me.”

 

“Cal, I don’t know what you are talking about.”

 

“Oh, sorry, here.” She placed the necklace in his hand. He turned it over. The thistle stood out, shiny against a rough pebbled background. His thumb traced the thistle as a tear ran down his cheek. “Jim, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Let me get rid of that.” She tried to take the necklace from him.

 

Jim clutched it tightly in his hand. With the other hand he guided her to him for a soft kiss. As they broke from one another his eyes captured hers. “No, I have never had anyone care about me, not like this. I under stand how you felt last night. I will always have you with me. Can you put it on me?” Cal put it over his head. “Thank you Honey.” He kissed her forehead. “How did you know about my family crest?”

 

“It’s a hobby. I like heraldry. I looked it up right before the first time we made love. It took all of a couple of seconds.”

 

“Oh. I love this. Cal, please don’t ever leave me. I need you in my life.”

 

She got up and walked to the other side of the bed. Once under the covers she drew him to her. “I am not going anywhere. Jim, I promise no matter where life takes us, I will always be a part of yours.”

 

“I will always be a part of yours. Cal, I’m not going anywhere either.” They fell asleep in each other’s arms secure in the fact that no matter how crazy things got they would always have each other. That day they did not know how much that promise would mean, or how much it would cost both of them.

 

They all rested until 17:30. Len heard Jim go to his room, and Jo go down to Mama. He hated to wake up Seri. She looked so peaceful. Slowly he rubbed her back until she woke. “Good morning baby. The cousins will be here soon. Let’s go play.” With that they both got up, got dressed and rushed down the stairs. Seri was wearing the outfit Callie had bought her. There were women at the bonfire who were going to seethe with jealousy. This was turning into a fun evening. Len smiled as he ran down the front steps. Definitely a very fun evening.


	38. chapter 38

The alarm broke the peace of the Captain’s quarters. He had set it for 06:00 but was regretting that choice. His dreams were of Cal and him, the last one was them making love in the pine grove near the pond. Adam was already at his post, Jim knew that. He would be going over every contingency before he deployed his men to the enemy ship. Jim knew Hendel had been the best choice for security chief. No one would have been as detail oriented as he had been since Mylus. The daily reports showed the captain exactly what would happen as soon as they boarded the enemy ship.

 

Starfleet had transmitted the schematics of the Mylan ship directly to Mr. Hendel and Kirk. There were three areas that needed to be secured; the bridge, engineering, and oddly enough the mess hall. It was surmised that the mess would contain more of the off-duty crew than any other area. Nine security details would be dispatched. Hendel would head the group sent to the bridge. Jim wanted him to take control of the ship until it docked. Funny how he was the only one Jim trusted to get them safely docked. A pilot would be sent to the Mylan bridge the moment it was secured, but he needed someone in charge. There would be one unit sent to secure engineering and one to the mess.  The other six would comb the ship for any personnel. Those found would be spending the rest of their voyage in the brig.

 

Jim took a very quick shower, dressed, sent instructions to his surgeons, and headed for security. He needed to keep busy. If he was busy the time would go a lot faster. Hendel had stood up as soon as Jim walked into the room. “Good morning Mr. Hendel. How are the plans going? Please have a seat.”

 

They both took seats as he slid the PADD to the captain. “I think I have put plans in effect for any contingency. But you know how things can go wrong anyway. Can we talk for a minute?”

 

“I thought we were?”

 

“No, not as the captain and his security chief.”

 

“Please.”

 

“Jim, I am concerned. There are too many variables. No matter what someone is going to get injured. No matter how I calculate things, I could lose men. This is the first time I know, I mean I absolutely know, someone is going to get hurt. I don’t mean minor lacerations, I mean seriously injured or killed. How do you live with this?”

 

“I understand exactly how you feel. Remember when they told us at the Academy that we would have to order people to die, that there may come a time when we would have to sacrifice someone we loved to save the crew or even a planet. I don’t think any of us understood that then. I fucking get it now.”

 

“But, how do you do it?”

 

“You do what needs to be done and pray that the worst doesn’t happen. I know you, you would sacrifice yourself easier than order another to do the same. Adam at times you have to do it. Unfortunately, there is no way around that. That is why we have each other.”

 

“And Seriana.”

 

“Yes, she is good, isn’t she?”

 

“She is. I’ve seen how she has been getting you and Len through this.”

 

“You noticed? Shit! Who else knows?”

 

“Sulu, Scotty, Uhura, Spock, and maybe a couple of people from medical. We noticed because we care about you, and let’s face it, we are all drowning to one extent or another. Losing Pavel was hard. I’m just glad we didn’t lose anyone else. I need to focus on what we saved, not what we lost.”

 

“And that is how you get through this. I trust you. I trust you to do what is right. I also trust you to do what is necessary. And we will all be here for you when it is over.”

 

“Thank you for that. Well here it goes captain. I will be assembling the teams in the cargo bay at 07:30. I will also be coordinating with the security chiefs from the Pegasus and the Reliant at that time. Our personnel will be going to the bridge and engineering, one team will go to the living quarters on the third level. Mr. Scott will personally be transporting our teams to their assigned areas.  He will also coordinate the transports with the other ships. That way it will all be done as quickly as possible. Oh, one unit from the Pegasus will go to the mess.”

 

“I’ll have you on speaker. Uhura will keep your comm open. Adam,”

 

“Yes Jim?”

 

“Please be careful. I mean it. After we get back I was hoping you and Jen would spend more than just a couple of days at the farm. I know she likes it there.”

 

“She does. She said it is a slice of heaven.” He laughed at her use of old colloquialisms. “I’ll be careful. At least as careful as you are.”

 

“That isn’t funny.”

 

“I promise not to take any unnecessary risks. How is that?”

 

“I can live with that.”

 

“I’m more concerned about the units I have sweeping the ship. One is from the Enterprise, two from the Pegasus and three from the Reliant. I have Mr. Scott keeping an eye on them, so to speak. If there are injuries, that person will be immediately beamed to our sickbay. Some of the units may not be from the Enterprise, but they are still my responsibility. Mylan casualties are being sent to the other ship’s medicals.”

 

“I understand how you feel. The plan seems well coordinated. Thank you for everything. I’ll be on the bridge if you need me. I’ll make sure all three surgeons are available if something goes wrong.”

 

“Three?”

 

“Seri is also a surgeon.”

 

“I had no idea.”

 

“It may not be necessary but I would rather be prepared.” Both men stood and shook hands. It would be a long few hours, but once they were docked the station’s security would take over. That was when Hendel could begin to relax. He wouldn’t truly relax until they were dock and everyone was on Earth.

 

“Captain on the bridge.”

 

“Good morning Captain.”

 

“Morning Mr. Spock. May I speak with you in my ready room?”

 

“Certainly Captain. Mr. Sulu, you have the con.”

 

The two men entered the captain’s office. “I talked to Mr. Hendel. He says there will most likely be casualties. I have sent messages to all three surgeons to be ready for casualties. They should all be in medical by the time the security units are deployed. We will take all of the casualties, even those from the Pegasus and the Reliant. Any Mylan casualties will be sent to those ships. I don’t want there to be any question about their care.”

 

“I agree. If they were to be treated here and died, they could say it was because our doctors wanted them dead. They would have a harder time saying that about ships and surgeons that were not involved in the incident. Jim?”

 

“Yes?” Jim sat on the edge of the desk.

 

“How are you doing? Nyota is concerned.”

 

“Nyota is concerned?” Jim looked his first officer in the eye.

 

“As am I.”

 

“I’m not doing too good. I know my heart rate is up and probably my blood pressure; but this will all be over soon. I just want to get through the next few days.”

 

“Nyota talked about coming to the farm. With her parent’s deaths she doesn’t want to go to their town. I believe it would upset her. She and her brother don’t seem to care for each other.”

 

Jim smirked. “Len, Seri, and I can understand how that goes. We can all go straight there. In that town the press wont’ be able to get to any of us. Not safely at least.”

 

Spock quirked an eyebrow, but Jim knew he understood. “Captain, where do you want me during the prisoner transfer? We have not discussed those particulars.”

 

“You’re right.” Jim walked to the opposite side of the desk and sat down. He hadn’t given it much thought. “I would like you with the security team assigned to Dardrok. I don’t want him getting brave. I also want you to transfer him to the station chief of security.”

 

“Certainly captain. May I be excused?” Jim nodded. Spock left to go to the brig. He would make sure that the Dardrok part of the transfer would go smoothly. Then they could go through their debriefings and head to the farm. Nyota would feel much calmer when she was in the blue room. It was her favorite bedroom at Len’s home, and the doctor made sure she had it every time they stayed.

 

Jim reentered the bridge. Sulu nodded to him as he sat in **the** chair. He loved this chair even though he felt the full weight of what it meant every time he sat in it. He had become the captain it truth when Khan came into their lives. He lost the hubris that had been holding him back. The hubris George and Pike had warned him against. Now he was Captain Kirk and all that meant. But few knew what truly meant.

 

Seri woke early. It was only 06:00 and she didn’t have to wake until 07:00, but something felt off. Shit! She carefully got out of bed and grabbed the bag Joseph had put together. She went into the bathroom and quietly close the door. Tampons, where were the tampons? Phew, there were a few in there. She took a quick shower and put the tampon in, then slunk back into the bed. Thankfully it was all clean. “You okay Peaches?”

 

She didn’t realize he had woken. “Yes, just got my period. Thankfully caught it before there was a mess.”

 

“Come here baby.” He pulled her to him. “Cramps?”

 

“Not yet. I’ll get something for it. Len the PADDS are blinking.” She rolled out of his arms. “Get up. We need to get to medical. Jim wants all of his surgeons ready by 07:30 for any of the human casualties that the ship boarding might produce. Are you okay with this? You can take the easier cases.”

 

“No.”  He jumped out of bed and went to the shower. “I need to be there for them. I love you Peaches, and you are a good surgeon, but I am better.” He jumped in for a regulation shower.

 

“You are the best in Starfleet. But you know that. We will be there if you need to step out. You have two safety nets if you need them. She was dressed and her hair put up by the time he came back to the bedroom.

 

“Thanks for that.” He knew he was the best but he sure as hell wasn’t going to say it. It only took a few minutes to dress and run a comb through his hair. They walked through the door to medical slightly before 07:30. “Hey Joe. Ready?”

 

“As ready as we can be. Christine is with you, Ray is with me, and Seri, T’sruk is with you. I got the roster together last night just in case.”

 

“Perfect. Who is on triage if Christine is with me?”

 

“Shit!”

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll use Ana. Ana may we see you?”

 

Ana, an older extremely experienced trauma nurse came over. She was in her mid-forties and had been through the colony skirmishes. “Yes Dr. McCoy?”  Len trusted her. He didn’t know her very well personally, but her record spoke for itself.

 

“We are probably going to get casualties over the next couple of hours. The three of us are the surgeons with the other doctors taking the non-surgical cases. I need you to take charge of the triage. Nurses Chapel, Marshall, and T’sruk are assigned to us. The rest are up for grabs.”

 

“Yes doctor. I’ll get things together.” She looked at the three doctors in front of her. “I am assuming you are each taking one of the surgical suites.”

 

“I am taking number three, Dr. M’Benga will be in two, and Dr. Targan will be in one.”

 

“Very good.” She turned and quickly assembled her triage team. She noticed that Len had taken the suite for the most complicated cases, with Dr. M’Benga being assigned the next one down, and Dr. Targan being given the one for the less complicated cases. The patients would be assigned accordingly.

 

Joe was looking around. “Maybe we should get out of their way?”

 

Len almost got run over by a hovering gurney. “Might not be a bad idea. We definitely don’t want to piss off the nurses. The medical doctors should be here soon. Let’s hide in the office.” They quickly put themselves in the office and waited for the casualties.

 

Hendel had gone over the particulars with the other security heads and his own units. They needed to transport to the Mylan ship as quickly as possible.  When they entered the transporter room, Mr. Scott was there with his top transporter chief. “Mr. Scott, when do we start?”

 

“At exactly 07:45. I just talked to the other two transporter chiefs. I will transport the team to the Bridge first, then the engine room, and finally the last unit will be put into the living quarters of the third level. If we do this the way we have planned all units will be on the ship within four minutes. Mr. Hendel, good luck.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Scott.”

 

“I will keep all human personnel monitored at all times. I have it set up to transport any injured personnel directly to medical.  The Pegasus is coordinating the other two medicals to take any wounded Mylans.”

 

“Thank you again.” He motioned for the unit to stand on the pad. The new pads had room to transport up to eight. They were all armed and carried restraints. Adam also had a small med kit just in case.

 

Scotty sent a message to the captain that the transports were ready to begin. With that he transported the first group to the bridge, the next to engineering and then finally the third to the third deck. It was all set into motion. All they could do now was wait.

 

Christine opened the office door. “You’re on!” The three surgeons ran into the medbay. Ana had everything under control. Doctors were treating the non-surgical cases. The surgeons headed to their surgical suites.

 

The first casualty wheeled into Seri’s suite. “Dr. Targan, this is Ms. Canin. She has several burns that require debridement.” Seri went into action. She could hear Len in her head. He had a compressed spinal injury. Len was in his element; micro-surgery was his favorite. The burns might cause her some problems later, Len would get her through it. She knew that in her dreams it wouldn’t be Ms. Canin on her table. No time to think about that, she needed to only see the patient in front of her.

 

The bridge blinked red as the sounds of a fire fight came over the audio. Jim only knew there were casualties, he didn’t know how many. That would have to wait. It wasn’t long before Hendel’s voice came over the comm. “Bridge secured Captain.”

 

Jim let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “Thank you, Mr. Hendel. Do you have the captain with you?”

 

“Yes sir.” With that the view screen came to life. Hendel had the Mylan with his hands bound behind his back. “Here captain.”

 

“Captain, as you can tell you are not being joined by your fleet. We are taking you to one of our stations. At that time, you will be handed over to their security team. At a later date you and your personnel will be sent back to Mylus. Until that time please consider yourself and your crew guests of Starfleet.”

 

The Mylan was visibly scared, though he still tried to project an air of confidence and anger. Jim had seen this type of posturing too many times to be fooled. “Captain, you realize you have committed an act of war.”

 

“Only if we were to imprison you. You are our guests. Mr. Hendel, we will be docking in a few moments. Are all other areas secure?”

 

“Yes captain. There were several Mylan casualties that are being treated. Our injured are already in Medical. I shall report to you as soon as the transfer is complete.”

 

“No Mr. Hendel, you will report to medical and jet that gash seen to.” Jim had been watching the blood flow down Adam’s face as he held the struggling Mylan.

 

Sulu had begun the docking procedures as did the Pegasus and the Reliant. “Docking complete captain.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Sulu.”

 

The view screen lit up. “Captain Kirk, it is good to see you. Before you ask, our security is taking custody of the Mylans. We would like you to transfer Dardrok last if at all possible.”

 

“It is good to see you Admiral Cochin. That should not be a problem. Am I to assume you will be doing the debriefing?”  Jim’s heart rate had begun to rise with the thought of what a debriefing could mean.

 

“Yes Captain. Yours will not take long. All of them should take no more than a day. We have already notified your families. They will be brought to the Academy shuttle bay when you arrive.”

 

“I appreciate that admiral. I want Mrs. Chekov taken care of…”

 

“Jim, Dr. McCoy won’t leave her. She is in good hands.”

 

Jim smiled; he should have known Mama would keep her close. “I’m sure she is. I know you want to talk to Dr. McCoy. I will send him to your office as soon as he is out of surgery.”

 

“He is practicing already? Good for him.” She was smiling and looked genuinely relieved. Admiral Cochin was a good person. Jim was glad she was doing the debriefing. If it had to be done, she would be the best one for Len. Shani had never been out to crucify anyone…unless they deserved it.

 

Jim’s PADD lit up, the transfers were complete. “Admiral, may I have your leave, I need to meet my security chief in medical.”

 

“He was injured?” Jim nodded. “Please go. I will catch up to you later.” The screen blinked off.

 

“Mr. Spock.”

 

“Yes Captain.”

 

“It is time to transfer our friend to his new quarters.”

 

“Will you be joining us captain?”

 

“No, I must join Mr. Hendel in medical.”

 

Spock understood. “Very good captain. I shall join you as soon as I have transferred our guest.”

 

“Mr. Sulu, you have the con.” Jim went to the turbo lift. He turned back to the bridge. Everything was perfect. Everyone was at their post doing their job. This was the new normal. Seri told him he would get past this, that he would stop looking for Pavel. It hadn’t happened yet, but it would, he knew it would in time.

 

When Jim entered the medbay there were five beds occupied with security personnel that had already been tended. The three surgical suites were occupied, and doctors, nurses, and aids were running n between their patients. Jim located the nurse that seemed to be in charge, “Excuse me lieutenant.”

 

She stopped in her tracks. “Yes captain? I am sorry I didn’t see you there.”

 

 “That is alright. I was looking for Mr. Hendel.”

 

“He is over there.” She pointed to the second surgical suite.

 

“Oh. I didn’t realize he was that bad.”

 

“It is too bad, but he needed plastic surgery to close the laceration without any scarring. Dr. Targan was already working on a facial burn, so Dr. M’Benga took him. Do you want me to let them know you are waiting?”

 

“No. I’ll just wait until he is done.” Jim used the time to walk around and check on all of the injured crew.  They got away easy. Wait, she didn’t mention Len. “Lieutenant, where is Dr. McCoy?”

 

“He is still working on Ms. Valichin.  He will most likely be another hour.”

 

“Oksana? What happened to her?” He remembered the sweet kid. She was only twenty.

 

“From what I understand one of the Mylans pulled down a container on her. She had her spine crushed at T12. Thankfully Mr. Scott got her here as quickly as he did.”

 

“And Dr. McCoy is working on her.” Jim knew even Joseph would feel overwhelmed with that type of an injury. He could do it, but not with the same dexterity as Bones. Len was the reason Pike had regained use of his legs.                                                                                                                     

 

“That was what Dr. M’Benga said. He was thankful he had Dr. McCoy back. We all are.”

 

“Yes, we are.”

 

With that Dr. M’Benga exited the suite with Hendel. “Now remember what I said. It may look like there is nothing there, but it will be weakened for the next week. Please take it easy.”

 

“Don’t worry doctor, he will.” Jim put his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “Let’s go talk.”

 

They walked back to Jim’s quarters. Everyone they passed stared at them as if to say we understand, this will all be over soon. As soon as they entered the cabin, Adam sunk into the couch. He started to stand “Sorry captain.”

 

“No, please sit. It’s Jim when we are in here. I know it’s early, but would you like a drink. Len left me a cabin warming gift.”

 

“Please. Did you hear about Oksana? I knew this would happen. Jim, she is just a kid. Now she will probably never walk again.”

 

“Let’s see what Len says. She has the best surgeon in the fleet working on her. Adam, I’m not just saying that, he truly is the best Starfleet has.”

 

“Really? He doesn’t act it.”

 

“Yes, he does. This crew is the best Starfleet has. Part of what makes us great is we don’t act cocky. I learned that the hard way. What about you?”

 

He chuckled as he took the bourbon. “I sure as hell did. Jim, I know you requested me for this position. They wanted to send me back to headquarters. Why did you ask for me?”

 

 “Like I said, we are all the best. That was why I wanted you. I know it was selfish, but I wanted the best security chief in the fleet. That’s you.”

 

“I don’t feel like I am, especially not today.”

 

“Today especially; this morning you sat here and told me you thought there was going to be a lot of serious injuries and even possible deaths. The casualty count is low, and there are no dead.”

 

“You don’t know that yet. We don’t know what the casualty count is.”

 

“Len won’t let her die.”

 

“But what if she can’t walk. She wanted to have children. What if she can’t?”

 

“Then we will help her through it. That is what family does.”

 

They both finished their drinks in one shot. “I am just praying you are right.”

 

“I am. I have to meet someone on the station, then I need to speak with the admiral. Please stay in here when you fill out your report. No one will bother you if you are in here. Well, Seri and Len might, but no one else has the access code.”

 

“I do.”

 

“Smart ass.”

 

“Thank you. I don’t think I could handle the stares. Tell Callie I said hi.” He picked up the PADD and entered his code.

 

“How did you…. it doesn’t matter.” Jim quickly left for the station.

 

Seri finished her graft handed the orders to the aide and went to Len’s office. She flopped onto the couch. Shit! She replicated a tampon and went into the bathroom. This was getting tiresome. She never realized how much she hated the inconvenience of having her period. She had to already change it once between surgeries, but this was irritating. Though if this was the price to pay for having a child, then it wasn’t too bad.

 

She was back on the couch when Joe came in. “How are you doing?”

 

“Waiting for the cramps to start.”

 

“You got it already? Wow, that was fast.”

 

“Luckily for Betazoids it only lasts four days.”

 

“Seri, you can try anytime after that. How did the surgeries go?”

 

“We know. We will probably start trying when we get home. They went well.”

 

“Any remind you of Len.”

 

“Yes. I’ll be okay.” He looked concerned. “Really Joe, I will be fine. None were as bad as his.”

 

“I know, Ana gave me the bad ones. She is good. She knows some of what you did, she didn’t want to traumatize you.”

 

“Don’t ever let her transfer or retire!” They laughed at the mental picture of Joe and Len tying her to a bed until she was too far away from any base to leave.

 

“Are you going to wait for Len?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“He could be a few more hours. It will be at least another hour.”

 

“I know. He really feels in control. I hope it goes well. She is so young.”

 

“She has the best chance with him. If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a long hot shower. I’ve been saving up my hot water rations for a day like this.

 

“Go enjoy.” Seri rested while Len finished. She knew he would need her when it was all over.

 

Jim walked through the gangway to the station. A few of the crew were taking advantage of the leave he gave to all personnel not on duty. He knew Cal was on the station somewhere. He needed to find a kiosk that would help him locate her cabin. He walked through the crowd that had gathered at the station entrance of the gangway.  They all wanted to get a look at the famous crew. Jim smiled as he gently pushed his way though the densest part of the crowd. Then there was a hand grasping and pulling at his arm.

 

“Please don’t do that.” He didn’t look at the hand as he began to remove it.

 

“You never said that to me before Blue Eyes.”

 

“Cal!” He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as her hand made it to the back of his head.

 

“I’m here baby. I’ve got you.” She never wanted to let him go, but they were starting to attract stares. “Jim, lets go to my quarters.” He pulled back and stared into her malachite eyes.

 

“Alright.” Her cabin was only one deck up and as few feet from the turbo lift. “How did you know I was disembarking.”

 

“I didn’t. I’ve been waiting since the Enterprise docked. Mr. Spock said you would be off soon.”

 

The door slid open. It barely closed when Jim pushed her against the wall. His tongue was in her mouth and her hands were unzipping his shirt. He pulled back breathless. “I need to talk to the admiral.”

 

“Somehow, I doubt this will take long.” Her evil giggle told him she wasn’t kidding. “Jim, yesterday I spoke with the admiral. She agreed that you needed a little time to decompress before your meeting. Given the look she gave me, I assume she knows we are together. I’m beginning to think that among the senior officers we are one of the worst kept secrets in the fleet.” It had been years since they had been together. It had been years since he had been with anyone but himself, and from what Len said it was the same for her. She had his shirt off and her hands were roaming his chest before he knew what happened.

 

Jim picked her up, walked her across the room and threw her on the bed. He toed of his shoes as she took off her dress. “Come here Honey. I need to feel you.”

 

She knelt on the bed directly in front of him and wrapped her arms around his waist. His scent called to her. She had craved him for years. He was the only man for her. Now she understood what her brother had told her the night of the bonfire. Her eyes met his as she looked up.

 

He could see into her soul. That was what he had missed. The one thing Jim knew was that he couldn’t live without that connection. These past years had been torture. Len had told him he would know when he was ready for a commitment. Truthfully, he had been ready since Kahn, but now it was a physical need. A need as much and water and air. He captured her mouth as he unclasped her bra and slipped the straps from her shoulders. “Cal, I love you. Please don’t leave me. Please. I need you.”

 

“Jim, I’m not going anywhere.” Her voice was a whisper. Carefully she undid his pants and pulled them down his legs. He needed this. He needed someone to take care of him. “Please Jim, let me be there for you.”

 

He stepped out of his pants and underwear, as she took off her thong. He ran his fingers through her hair, releasing it from it’s ribbon. It cascaded down her back, black coal against alabaster. “Cal…” He had grown up in the years that they had known each other. He wasn’t an adult, and he sure as hell wasn’t a captain until Kahn. Now he was there for everyone. Now he would give everything he was for his family. Even after Kahn he didn’t believe in no win scenarios, he just change his definition of no win. As long as everyone he cared about was safe, the scenario was won, even if he was dead.

 

“It’s alright Jim, I understand.” She needed to take charge. Normally she didn’t think of it that way, neither of them was in charge in the bedroom, but today he needed to have her take care of him. He needed someone to see him and not Captain Kirk. “Come here baby. I need you to lie back on the bed. Trust me Jim.”

 

“I have always trusted you. Honey, I trust you with everything.” He laid back on the bed and let her take over. Jim couldn’t take his eyes from Cal. He couldn’t believe she was really there.

 

She laid next to him and guided him to face her. Something played behind his eyes, something haunting. Her fingers traced along his hairline. “Talk to me. Tell me what is going on in here.”

 

“I didn’t believe in no win scenarios, until now. Even lying in the hospital bed after Kahn I didn’t. I changed my definition, but I still didn’t believe in them. We are a family, on the Enterprise we are one large, and at times slightly dysfunctional family. But we are a family. We all work together.  That is how we survive, that is how we cheat death.”

“But not this time. Crew members died before, but this time it was closer to home. I get that. Jim, it can happen. Len made the hard decision, but in the end, he won, you all did. None of you were killed by the Mylans. I know about the kid in surgery. From what Joe told we she will live. Len wasn’t turned, the spies were found, and they didn’t kill any of you. No matter what is said, you will always know that.”

 

“You know I would have rather died than have had what happened happen?”

 

“I know. And that is what hurts.” Tears had been falling down his cheeks, though Cal doubted he realized. “Come here, I have you.” He moved into her arms, into the comfort he desperately needed. It had been what he was reaching for all of the nights since Mylus. She rubbed his back slowly, as he cried.

 

“God Cal, I am so sorry. This wasn’t what I had in mind for our first time together after all these years. I wanted to make love. I wanted to let you know how much you meant to me. I fucked that up.” He tried to push away from her, but she wouldn’t allow it.

 

“Isn’t that exactly what we are doing? Isn’t this what love is about? I know exactly what I mean to you. You open yourself to me every time we are together. You are a part of me, and I am a part of you. I like sex as much as you do, but this is also making love. This is us Jimmy, just us. We will have time for sex; and believe me you won’t be able to walk by the time we are done.”

 

She could feel his chuckle. She needed him to relax, to feel one with her. “I didn’t think about it that way. I don’t think we are heading to Earth until tomorrow. You can take your stuff to my quarters while I am with the admiral.”

 

This time when he released his grip, she allowed him to pull away. He rolled her under him. She reminded him of a Martin-Kaval painting. He was losing himself in her eyes. The eyes he saw every night before he fell asleep were now looking at him. She touched his cheek bringing him back to reality. “What do you want? Tell me.”

 

“You, I want you. Cal, I want to feel everything. I need to know you are here, that this isn’t another dream.” She wrapped her legs around his hips. It didn’t take much for him to get hard. He wanted her, needed her. Those beautiful green eyes told him it was the same for her. But this time it would be slow. His hand reached between them as he guided himself to her opening. She was so wet he slip in easily.

 

Slowly he moved in and out of her. Her walls began to spasm as he hit her spot. Funny how he remembered exactly where it was.

 

His eyes never left hers. “Don’t close your eyes. Jim, I want to see them when you cum.” Her nails dug into his shoulders as she felt her orgasm building. It had been so long, she needed this as much as he did. There would be time for different positions later. For now, this was what they both needed. To lose themselves in each other.

 

It wasn’t long before he saw her start to lose control. “Look at me. Don’t close your eyes.” She was cumming. Her eyes flashed as she bit back a scream. As she clamped down he followed her. His eyes went almost grey as he came. Cal could feel him completely fill her. She clamped down holding him in as long as she could. Jim carefully laid on top of her. She wrapped her arms around him. “I love you Cal.”

 

“I love you too Jimmy.” He rolled off of her and pulled her to him. It wouldn’t be long before they were back home. Maybe then they could make love where they did the night of the bonfire. Maybe then they would start to heal.


	39. Chapter 39

“Hey Mama. I thought Seri and I could head down to the pit.” Jo was standing with her grandmom and Uncle George by George’s truck.

 

“Jake and Sarah are there already. Sarah said she needs to talk to you. Oh, Rory is here as well.”  Lena smiled at the idea of he and Len together. She never told anyone, but Rory was her favorite nephew. He was a good man with a devilish streak. “He told me not to worry. He knew there would be kids here, so no edibles.”

 

“Good.” Len grabbed Seri’s hand and all but ran to the pick-up hovercraft. They both jumped in as he sped to the pit. “You are going to love Rory and June. He and I were joined at the hip when we were kids. We were best men at each other’s weddings. He is the one I com once a month. Almost forgot, if we need it there is a medical bag in this craft.”

 

Seri had never seen him this excited. It made her happy to watch him turn into a little boy. Len was usually the adult, level headed and cynical. This was a nice change, even if it was temporary. “He is the farmer? Thanks for telling me about the bag. After what I heard about marshmallows, we may need one.”

 

“Yes. Funny he sucked at botany. But he turned a hobby into a very lucrative career. We can sample his crop after the fireworks when the kids are in the house. Nick is coming with the fireworks. He is a bit of a pyro. He is my Aunt Cassie’s youngest boy. Aunt Cassie is my father’s youngest sister. Don’t worry she isn’t like him, though her daughter Bea is nasty. Then there is Uncle Ian…”

 

“Len, stop! There is no way I am going to remember all of this.” She laughed. “I just have to muddle my way through it. Do you mind if I don’t block their thoughts? It will help me keep everyone straight. Plus, I’ll know who to watch out for and who is ok.”

 

Len was smiling. “I bet that would make things a hell of a lot easier. Just don’t go crazy with it if that is possible.”

 

“It won’t be hard.”

 

“But if you keep shaking your ass in those shorts, I will be.”  The craft came to a stop about thirty yards from the pit. They exited the craft. As they walked toward the pit Len slapped her ass lightly. “Where did you get those?”

 

“Cal picked them up. She said I needed to ware this outfit tonight. Don’t know why. I didn’t think the boots went with the shorts, and are my ass cheeks hanging out?” She tried to look behind her as they continued to walk.

 

“Not quite, but I wouldn’t bend from the waist if I were you. Cal, and probably Joce and Mama are going to have fun watching some of the women when they see you in that outfit. I want you to bend at the waist, just not in front of anyone but me.” Seri looked up, his eyes were pure green. Damn this was going to be a fun night. “Rory! How are you doing?”

 

“Hey asshole! Nice to finally see you. June was starting to think you were a figment of our imaginations.” The men hugged; it was easy to see how close they were. Seri could feel their love, more like siblings than cousins.

 

“You must be Seri. Len’s been telling Rory all about you.” A tall woman with dark brown hair and a short bob came up to Seri. She was obviously a kind woman, Seri didn’t need to read her to know that.

 

“And you have to be June. I am so happy to meet you. I just found out about you in the past week. Len thinks I’m going to remember everyone I meet tonight. I am not holding out much hope for that.”

 

June was laughing. “I hope you’ll remember me. Don’t worry, I’ll help you. I’ll also tell you who to watch out for. Wait, you’re a betazoid.”

 

“Yes. Normally I wouldn’t read anyone’s mind, but…”

 

“No, tonight you should. I can think of a few women here that you will need to steer clear of, and a few men as well. I think reading their thoughts would help. Don’t worry, they are asses, but harmless.”

 

“There are those in any family.” She liked this woman. She was exactly what she showed to the world, no subterfuge.

 

June took her arm and led her closer to the pit and the two men.  “Roar, this is Seri.”

 

“Seri!” He grabbed her and picked her up in a bear hug. “So, you said yes to Len. What were you thinking girl? Look at you! You are far too good for this ass.” His smile was warm and inviting. In his mind they were already family.

 

“A moment of weakness I guess.” She took Len’s hand.

 

“I like her Len. She is sassy.” As they were talking several crafts pulled up to theirs. People started to offload food and drinks. The ice was dumped into the troughs and one bag was put into a clean tub.

 

Seri saw Meghan and a man that resembled Len. He was putting kegs onto a hand truck. Len and Rory had run to help him. Seri went with June to help set up the tables. Maria and Sarah were at the tables already. Seri knew them, the rest she was introduced to, but doubted she could remember their names. Thank the deities she could read minds.

 

She ran to Len. “Len, Sarah needs to talk to you. She is nervous.”

 

He looked concerned. “Can you tell me what it is about?”

 

“I can, but I won’t. You need to hear it from her.”

 

Len walked slowly to the tables. He left Jake and Rory to help Tucker with the kegs. While they were loading the kegs, Jim showed up with Cal. He ran to help the men with the kegs as Cal carried some of the things from Jake and Ann’s craft. Ann had the girls with her. The three of them were running around, hopefully they would go to bed early. Mama and George were there, he was moving the wood to the pit as she got the two tables ready for the children. It wasn’t long before everyone was there.

 

Len came up behind the women. “Sarah?”

 

“Lenny, I didn’t know you were there.”

 

“Seri said you needed to talk to me. Is everything ok sweetie?”

 

“Yes. Can we talk over here?” She walked about ten feet away as Len followed.

 

“What’s up sweetie? You look tired. Are you sure everything is ok?”

 

“I’m pregnant. There I said it. I know I was late today, and it won’t happen again. I promise that I won’t…” Before she knew what happened she was lifted into the air.

 

“Congratulations! That explains why you are tired. I’m going to be an uncle! How are you feeling? Do you have a doctor? Gwen is great, and she is close. I can call if you need. We need to talk about your job. I don’t want you lifting.”

 

“Len, I’m fine. I am seeing Gwen. I just am tired and sick a couple of times a day. Not a big deal. This is what I was afraid of.”

 

“What? Morning sickness? It may get worse before it goes away, but it is usually over by week sixteen at the latest. Though you can get it off and on for the nine months.”

 

“Having to leave here. I love my job. I know you must not think it is much, cleaning a house, but it means a lot to me.” She was in tears.

 

Len put his arm around her as he guided her to the portable couch. They sat as her tears continued to flow. “Sarah, I don’t think what you do is insignificant. You know me, there is no way I could clean a home. You are essential here, don’t ever think you aren’t. Sweetie, I would never get rid of you. I just don’t want you doing any lifting, and later on I don’t want you bending. Plus, I don’t want you handling eggs that haven’t been washed. Have I done the over protective big brother routine well enough?”

 

She sniffed as her crying subsided. “Definitely.” She rested her head on his shoulder. Sarah always felt safe with Len. When they were younger he had beaten up a boy who grabbed her ass. No one ever messed with her after that. Then she met Jake, he was friends with Len, but she secretly felt that Jake was still afraid to be with her until Len said it was okay. He may have been George’s only nephew, but that didn’t mean Len didn’t have ass beating privileges if he did anything to hurt her. “So, you aren’t going to fire me?”

 

“Why would I do that? No, but we may want to get in temporary help until you are ready to go back to full duties. Sarah, I really am happy for both of you. Please let me know if you need anything at all.”

 

“Seri suggested that we have a meeting when you all get back from Betazed. Maybe do a little restructuring. Would that be okay?”

 

“Now you know why I asked her to marry me. That is perfect. The seven of us can set up a plan for this place. I want Jake to be able to manage here and be a father. That will take some restructuring, don’t you think?”

 

“Absolutely. Len, thank you. I know I don’t have much in the way of family...”

 

“Why would you say that? Besides Jake and George, you have all of us. Do you think Mama and George will stay together?”

 

“I think they’ll get married. I’m surprised they haven’t done it already.”

 

“I heard them talking about him moving in. They have no idea that I know.”

 

“Don’t play with them! I know you. Just be happy for them.”

 

“Fine. Sometimes sweetie, you suck the fun out of things.” He kissed the top of her head as he rubbed her arm. “I should go help the guys. I really don’t need the cousin’s burning the place to the ground.”

 

“Shit! After the one time...”

 

“I remember.” He kissed her again and ran to the pit. Sarah stayed on the couch. The nausea had gone away earlier, but she was still tired.

 

Everything was set up, and the children were all playing with the sprinkler that Jake had set up. Cal grabbed Jim and introduced him to everyone telling him which women to avoid. “Don’t worry Honey, you are the only one that gets my attention tonight.” He placed his hand on her lower back. “For now, you are mine.”

 

She didn’t know why, but Cal loved how that statement made her feel. She was his, even if it was just for now. “And you are mine blue eyes, even if it is just for tonight.”

 

Seri snickered. “What is it Peaches?”

 

“Those two over there.” She pointed to Jim and Cal. “Not now, but one day they will be together.”

 

“As long as they don’t fuck it up.”

 

“Ever the optimist. I think I have been introduced to everyone here. Time to just enjoy.”

 

Someone had set up amplifiers and a small stage area. There were guitars on stands, a drum kit, and a keyboard. There were two fiddles on stools and several mics. Len could feel Seri’s confusion. “Some of the people here are musicians. They play mostly country music dating from the twentieth century until now. Everyone here loves to dance. Do you like to dance?”

 

“I do, but I don’t know any Earth dances. I’ll look like an idiot.”

 

“Not in that outfit.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him. “Just follow my lead. Mama insisted we all learn how to dance. Anyone comment on the clothing choice?”

 

“No, but Careen and Sandra are having some thoughts about you.”

 

“Really?” He guided her to the lounge chair in front of the pit where George was starting the fire. After he sat Seri was pulled onto his lap so they faced forward and her head used his shoulder as a rest. “So, what were they thinking?”

 

“Just that they wanted to pull that shirt off of you and undo your pants. Sandra wants to know what the jeans are hiding. They think I am just a plaything that you’ll tire of soon enough.”

 

“That could never happen.”

 

“I know. Every one seems to be getting food. Should we join them?”

 

“Yeah. TURTLE!”

 

Seri jumped. “Please don’t do that again. She rubbed her ear.

 

“Sorry.” He looked over, Joce was making sure Jo ate. Evan came to sit next to them with his plate.

 

“Hi Len, Seri, it’s nice to see friendly faces. I feel like the prized bull at the fair.”

 

“I feel for you. Every one is staring at me. What is worse, I know what they are thinking.”

 

“I am glad I don’t know. I am going to choose to believe most of what they are thinking is charitable.”

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to know? I could tell you what a few of them are thinking.”

 

Len wiggled out from under Seri. “On that note I am going to get something to eat. Seri, remember to eat. The reprobates brought the shine, and you don’t want to try that on an empty stomach.” With that he excused himself.

 

“Seri, I just want to know if they hate me. I don’t like the way this feels.”

 

She looked around. “There are a few women who **really** don’t hate you. There are more than a couple of guys who are in awe that you managed to get Joce. They are envious, but not in the bad way. Those two think that you being with Joce is great because I must just be a fuck toy and Len will pick them when he is done with me. The older people seem happy that you and Joce are together, they think it is great we all seem to get along.”

 

“Now I know why Joce said we all need to stick together. Do you think it’s strange that we all seem to get along?”

 

“No. I think it is healthy. It is definitely better for Jo. You know that Len isn’t in love with Joce, and she isn’t in love with him. But they will always love each other. Are you okay with that?”

 

“I am. Len’s a good guy. I can’t say I am not happy that things didn’t work out for them, but I wish they didn’t have to be hurt. Joce is talking about moving closer to the farm. She doesn’t have any parents, and her siblings are all living off planet. It would be better for JoJo, but I don’t know how Len would feel having me that close.”

 

“I doubt it would bother him, but you can always ask. I know there are several homes on this farm and there are a few closer to town. I’m sorry. I have a tendency to try to solve any problem that is put in front of me. Let me know if I overstep.”

 

“Naw, its alright. I know you are trying to help. My family is mostly on Vulcan. They are a part of the ambassadorial contingent. Joce and JoJo are all I have here. Sometimes it gets lonely. Wow, I’ve never told anyone that, not even Joce. Fuck.”

 

“Evan, I won’t tell anyone. All of my family is on Betazed. I have Len and Jim, but until this week, I had no one else. It is an isolating feeling, being alone.”

 

His eyes told how lost he felt. “Everyone thinks I have it together. Successful business, beautiful fiancé, sweet stepdaughter, but I feel like I am a juggler. I am keeping all of the balls in the air, but for how long? One day everyone will know I am a fraud.”

 

“Evan you aren’t a fraud. I should know, I’m a Betazoid; we know everything.” She bumped him a little. His smile almost made it to his eyes. Seri watched his gazed drift to the children playing under the sprinkler. “Evan, look at me. Why don’t you finish your food and we’ll go for a walk?” He looked at her skeptically. “If we are going to be family, you need to trust me. You need to trust someone.”

 

“Joce said Len can read your thoughts.”

 

“He and I each keep a door closed on things that are confidential. It is hard, and I we can’t block our feelings, but we will get better at it. We are both doctors, it is important that we can do that. Evan, you aren’t alone.”

 

“Let me finish this plate. We can go for that walk. You might want to get something to eat. It looks like the vultures are descending on the tables.”

 

“Please don’t leave. I’ll be right back.” Seri joined Len at the buffet table. She grabbed some fried chicken and potato salad, along with garden salad and watermelon. She could feel Len before he could even think. “Hi, Imzadi.”

 

He kissed the back of her neck. _“That should irritate a few people. Pretending that is fried Roscoe? Is Evan okay? He doesn’t look comfortable.”_

_“Your mother would kill me, or it would be. Evan will be fine. He and I are going for a walk. I promised him I wouldn’t tell you what we talk about. Don’t worry, it has nothing to do with the family.”_

_“I understand. It can’t be easy for him. I know how hard it is trying to keep everything going.”_

_“Did you hear what we were talking about.”_

_“No. It seemed private so I blocked it out. I am using your idea of mental doors. It seems to be working. I like him. More to the point I understand him. You can tell him anything you want about my problems with being the lord of the manor.”_

She turned to him and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you more than I thought possible. I’ll tell him. He needs to have a support system. Joce is great but…”

 

“One person isn’t enough. She is a good partner, but I understand how he feels. I couldn’t do all of this without all of you.”

 

They both walked down to Evan. Everyone ate as they laughed at the kids. It was relaxing to watch the growing crowd of children laugh and chase each other under the water. Hopefully this would mean they all would sleep well. Joce and Maria kept an eye on the girls. No one wanted to leave Nora and Jo without adult supervision. Seri started the conversation after they sat near Evan. “Len, Joce was talking about moving closer to the farm.”

 

“Joce and her ideas. How do you feel about that?” Seri knew what Len was doing and she loved him for it. He wanted it to Evan’s decision. Joce suggested it, but Evan needed to feel he was a part of the process. Len wanted them to be close. As odd as it sounded she knew Len wanted him to feel like a brother.

 

“I don’t mind. But this is your family. I doubt you want an outsider coming in.”

 

“Is that what you are, an outsider?” Len never took his eyes from Evan’s.

 

“Isn’t that what I am, at least here. I’m your ex-wife’s fiancé, not exactly part of the family.”

 

“I don’t see it that way. You’re a brave man taking on Joce, and I can see how much you love Jo. Evan you are only an outsider if you want to be. If that is what you want, I can respect that, but if it isn’t then let’s work to make this a family.”

 

“Len, I don’t come from a family like yours. We were never close. My siblings have more in common to Ginny than anyone else I’ve met here. Joce hasn’t met them because they don’t live on planet. My parents are on Vulcan with my older brother. They are all ambassadors. It is a good planet for them.”

 

“They are that cold?”

 

“They are that analytical.”

 

“Got it. I have trouble understanding Vulcan’s. That is probably because they remind me of computers.”

 

Seri chuckled. “You know, Vulcan’s do have feelings.”

 

“Could have fooled me Kiddo.” Jim and Cal had grabbed some food and joined the three by the pit. “Len, did you know the horse farm across the street is for sale?” Jim was enjoying the ribs Hanna had smoked.

 

“The Tyler farm? That place is amazing. It has two indoor rinks, three twelve stall stables, three outdoor rinks, and five pastures.”

 

“Should I take it that you are interested?”

 

“More than interested. There are two large farm houses on the property as well as four guest houses. They specialize in Arabians and American Saddlebred. I wonder what they are asking?”  Len got up. “Evan can you come with me? I want to get your opinion of what Mr. and Mrs. Tyler are offering. They are that lady in bright yellow, and the man in kakis talking to Uncle George.” Len pointed two an older couple talking to Uncle George as they looked at the fire.

 

“I would love to. Jim, want to join us?” The two men followed Len to the group near the fire.

 

Cal stayed with Seri. “What was that about?”

 

“Len creating a family. He wants Jim and Evan to feel a part of this place. I think they will make a very formidable team. I also think we are about to acquire a breeding farm.”

 

“Probably. Seri?”

 

“Yes, I know. And I won’t say anything to Jim. I’ll block that bit of knowledge. Just be careful. You can both be hurt.”

 

“Now you sound like Len. We are. No promises between Jim and me.”

 

Seri pointed to two women in crop tops and short shorts. “You know those two are thinking about what they could do with him? Some of it is quite imaginative.”

 

“Oh, the two sluts. No one ever said the Walker sisters were subtle.” She was smiling. “It is funny. I think Len fucked the one after his separation.”

 

“He did. That one according to her thoughts. That’s Careen isn’t it?”

 

“Yep. She isn’t as bad as Sandra. Sandra is what the old timers would call the town bicycle.”  Seri looked genuinely confused. “You know, everyone has had a ride.”

 

Seri tried to look shocked, but Cal was so much like Jim; nothing that came out of that man’s mouth shocked her. “Cal!”

 

“What? It’s true. Besides, she tried to get Len away from Jo. You know how well that worked. He didn’t even bang her once. Probably the only young Toccoa guy here that can say that. And she’s a bitch.”

 

“Let me guess, my outfit was for her benefit.”

 

“Hers among others. I know you can feel Mama. She agreed. It would definitely take these girls down a peg or two. Mary isn’t bad. I think that threesome was a first and last for her. Shit! Did you know about that?”

 

“I know about all of them. It is fine. Mary seems sweet, though she hopes Len leaves me. Evidently it was an epic night. At least the way she remembers it.”

 

“Do you know what Jim and I have done?” Cal was bright red. What if Seri knew everything?

 

“No. I don’t want to have that mental picture. I have walked in on him a few times. Jim has a habit of leaving doors open if he thinks no one is home.”

 

“I’ll make sure that stops, at least where I’m concerned.” June, Meghan, Joce, and Sarah joined Seri an Cal.

 

June was staring Seri. “You know those two wish you would leave or drop dead? I think either would make them happy.”

 

“I am aware. It is funny. If they only knew what he was like after a night out with Jim, they wouldn’t want him.”

 

Joce came closer. “Yes, they would. They see the money.”

 

“And his ass.”

 

Sarah tried to sound surprised. “Meghan! That’s your cousin.”

 

“I’m aware. Actually, he is Tucker’s cousin, and he still has a nice ass.”

 

Seri was enjoying herself. She could feel the good nature of all the women around her. Besides, Len did have a nice ass.

 

The three women turned their attention to Cal. Meghan put her arm around Cal. “So, have you managed to land Jim yet? Most of use are hoping he gets hot in that shirt. We want to see what is under it.”

 

“I…I…Honestly!”

 

June came to the other side of Cal. “So that would be a yes?”

 

“I didn’t say that! And they talk about what men say? You are as bad as them.”

 

Sarah whispered into her ear. “We’re worse. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone what I know.”

 

Cal looked surprised. How could Sarah know? Shit, the laundry. Oh well. Sarah was one of her best friends she wouldn’t tell anyone. They all watched the men as they talked to Uncle George and the Tylers. Tucker was close to the group helping Rory and Jake with the fire. “You know what?”

 

“What Seri?” June wished she had Seri’s ability to read minds.

 

“They all have nice chests and asses.” The women tilted their heads as they checked out the men. “They would be self-conscious if they knew how we were.”

 

Cal had to agree with her. “They would. But we can still enjoy the view even if we can’t touch them the way we would want. At least not in public”

 

That gave Seri an idea. She wanted to try something she heard bonded pairs could do. Unfortunately, it would have to wait until the sun went down and the kids were at the house. The weed would heighten what she wanted to try. She wanted to play, but she certainly didn’t want to embarrass Len. This was going to be fun.

 

The men were talking to the Tylers. “Mr. Tyler, Jimmy said you were selling the farm.” George stayed to listen. If they bought the horse farm he would be involved. He motioned for Celia to join them.

 

“Yes Lenny. The kids don’t want it, and frankly it is getting to be too much for us. We sort of put it on the market today. How did you hear about it so fast?” He looked at the man he assumed was Jim.

 

“It wasn’t me Mr. Tyler. I’m Evan Love.” He shook the older man’s hand.”

 

“I’m Jim. Len is awful when it comes to introducing people. I saw the sign sir.”

 

“Oh, Lenny you do need to work on that.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Are you really interested?”

 

“I might be, if the price is right. Plus, I need to run it by these guys and Jake.” He turned towards the fire. “HAY JAKE! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!”

 

Jake ran from the fire to the group. “What the hell do you want?”

 

“Your opinion. Just want to know if I’m crazy.”

 

“Is this about something specific, or in general? Because if it is in general…”

 

“No, it is specific. We all know the answer to the other one. The Tylers are selling their farm.”

 

“No shit! Really?! Oops, sorry ma’am.”

 

Mrs. Tyler stared at Jake. He was a full-grown man, but she still saw the little boy. It was fun to tease him. “I’ll forgive you this once. But watch your mouth young man.”

 

“Yes ma’am. Len, what is your question?”

 

Len enjoyed watching Jake squirm. “I am thinking of buying it. At least I am interested. What do you think?”

 

“It’s a good farm. I would find out if the livestock comes with it, also understand that it will require a massive restructure of how things are run around here. You understand what I am saying?”

 

“I do. I talked to Sarah earlier. I’ll keep that in mind.  Jim, what do you think?”

 

“I did tell you about it, but that aside, I would like to get a look at the place. I’m sure you have done a good job with it, and I really don’t mean any disrespect, but I would need to see if it needs any repairs or upgrades. Do you think I could take a look tomorrow? We leave Sunday and I would like to see it before then.”

 

“It shouldn’t be a problem. When you get up tomorrow come over. We are the white farm house on the left of the drive.”

 

“Evan?”

 

“Yes Len?”

 

“What do you think?”

 

“I agree with Jim. We need to get a good look at everything. I can’t join the farms easily because of the road, but if you decide to take it I’ll give it some thought.” Evan, Jim, and Jake gave Len wiggle room when negotiating a price.

 

“Lenny, we haven’t signed the agreement with Miles yet. He put the sign up as soon as we said we wanted it on the market. I’ll have him pull it until you decide. I would rather see it go to a local. Too many people want to come in here and change things. We are in danger of losing this way of life.”

 

Jim understood how Mr. Tyler felt. “I understand sir. To me this place is a piece of paradise.”

 

“Jim is my farm economics expert, Evan is the engineer, and Jake is the management and logistics expert. I have surrounded myself with people who understand this much more than I do.”

 

“Yet, more than you do yet. One day you’ll know it all.” Mr. Tyler smiled. “It’s nice to know you heard me all those years ago. These past few years I thought you lost the lesson.”

 

“I did, but I think it came back.”

 

“Why don’t you boys get back to your lovely wives and girlfriends. Let the grown-ups talk about important issues.”

 

“Very funny George.” Lena had walked up to the group. George slipped his arm around her. The three men went back to the ladies. The sun was setting faster now and the children wanted roasted marshmallows.

 

“Turtle, come here and bring everyone with you. Lenore you need to stay with your mom.” Ann grabbed her and put the four-year-old on her lap. The rest of the girls came over. It was going to be a night of giggling little girls. The boys’ parents got childcare. They all needed a break. Joce handed them all sticks and one very large marshmallow. “Remember ladies; no closer to the fire than where you are right now, and no eating the marshmallow until you are told it is ok” He gave Jo a pointed look.

 

“Yes daddy.”

 

“Uncle Len?” A little girl with big brown eyes was looking up at him.

 

“Yes Nora?”

 

“Can I give some of mine to Lenore?”

 

“If your mama says it’s ok.”

 

She looked to Ann. “If your uncle says it is cool enough then yes, but only a little bit.”

 

Most of the adults joined the girls. Will had handed out the bags of what looked to Seri like puffed sugar. Jim came to her with Cal. He had a stick. “Here Kiddo, skewer the thing like this. That way you can roast it over the fire.”

 

“Won’t it melt or catch fire?”

 

“Sometimes, depends on how good you get. Sit with us.”

 

“Come on Seri, we’ve got you.” The three sat together as Len watched the kids. Joce was sitting with Evan. Len loved this time of the evening. Everyone breaking off into their groups as the family friendly portion of the evening wound down.

 

Seri only lost four marshmallows before she got the hang of it. “Sis, there is a thing called a Smore that we make with these. It is chocolate with a warm marshmallow between two graham crackers. With the kids I don’t think Len wanted the inevitable mess that comes with them.” Cal had called Seri sis. When had that happened? Cal was here sister now.

 

“Ok kids let’s get up to the house.” Jake and Sarah had the door to the van opened. All seven little girls along with their babysitters jumped in. “Len we’ll get them set up and then come back.”

 

“That’s fine Jake. I assume you and Sarah are in the Rose room. I want you to have the private bath. She looks tired. If she is you don’t need to come back down. Oh, congratulations! I really am happy for you. Just a warning, these next few months will be hard. Patience will be the key to a happy marriage.”

 

“So I hear.” Jake left to take them all back to the house.

 

The band was setting up, Rory had gone to his car while Tucker and Kyle helped Nick with the fireworks. Seri and Len were relaxing in the lounge chair when Len’s com went off. “Jake? Jake slow down. Ok, I’ll be right up. Just stay where you are.”

 

Seri jumped up as soon as the conversation started. “Len?”

 

“Sarah passed out. I’m going to make sure she is ok. Can you come with me? Someone needs to keep him calm.”

 

“Got it. Let’s go.” She turned to Jim. “We’ll be back in a bit. I’m sure you heard.”

 

“Yeah. Is she ok?”

 

“Most likely. It isn’t uncommon in the first trimester.” Seri jumped into Len’s craft.

 

It didn’t take long to get to the back of the house. They could hear the girls in the sunroom. They were giggling and giving Amy and Leslie a hard time about going to bed. They snuck up the stairs and went straight to the rose room.

 

Sarah was propped up on the pillow when they came in. she was a white as the sheets. Seri went to the bathroom to get a damp wash rag. She came back with that and a lined waste basket. Len took the wash rag and noticed the basket being placed near the nightstand. “I feel so stupid. I was a little nauseous so I came upstairs. I remember walking into the room then everything started to look like tunnel. Next thing I know I’m on the bed and Jake is looking at me scared. I heard him talking to you. Oh god, I’m going to be sick.”

 

Len grabbed the waste basket and held it for her. As Sarah started to vomit, Seri left to get the medical kit from their room. By the time she returned Sarah had stopped getting sick, but Seri knew it could start again.

 

“Sweetie, you aren’t stupid. These things happen. I want to take a look at you, if you don’t mind.”

 

“No, I don’t mind.” Len looked over at Jake. “She is going to be just fine. Can you do me a favor?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Can you go to the kitchen and squeeze some orange juice? The sugar will help. I’m sorry Mama doesn’t believe in already squeezed juice.” He could have sent Seri, but he wanted to give Jake a job. The guy needed to feel useful.

 

“I’ll go with you. That way it can be done faster. Do you mind Sarah?” Seri knew Jake shouldn’t be alone. He was terrified.

 

“No.” She had started to feel nauseous again. Not long after the two had gone to the kitchen she started vomiting. “God, I hate this. Can’t you give me something? Don’t answer that. It was rhetorical. I already know the answer.” The vomiting started again.

 

Len was rubbing her back as she leaned over the basket. He didn’t want her to try walking to the bathroom. Finally, she stopped. “Baby, do you want me to help you to the bathroom?”

 

“That might not be a bad idea. I still feel like shit.”

 

She started to get up. “What do you think you are doing?”

 

“Getting up to go into the bathroom.”

 

“Lie back down.” Once she did he put the tricorder strap on his shoulder then picked her up like she didn’t weigh much more than Jo. “I’ve got you.”

 

No sooner had he gotten Sarah to the bathroom she was sitting on the floor leaning over the toilet. She started to dry heave. Len gave her a little water so she would have something to throw up. It would help with he abdominal pain. As she took a sip he ran the tricorder over her. As he suspected, nothing was wrong. She was just having a bad night. Hopefully there wouldn’t be too many of these.

 

“You’re doing great sweetie. Don’t look at me like that. You are.” When she was done she rinsed her mouth and tried to sit up. Len noticed how weak she was. “Come here baby. I’ve got you until Jake gets back. Sorry about that, but I thought he could use the distraction. The power juicer is broken, they will have to use the manual ones.”

 

“It’s ok.” He had leaned against the wall. She leaned back against him. “This feels familiar.”

 

“That was for an entirely different reason.”

 

“I remember. My parents never found out. Thank you for that. Haven’t had champagne since.” He kept running his fingers up and down her arm as he held her. She started to relax. Len doubted she would get sick again, but he wanted to wait a little while longer. “Thank you for everything. I wish you could do the delivery.”

 

“Please don’t make me feel any guiltier than I already do.”

 

“About what?” She shifted so her head rested on his shoulder.

 

“Leaving Jo. I was impulsive.”

 

“No, you were lost. You gained a lot from your decision. That woman is perfect for you. I like her. And Jim is a match for you. He is a good person. I know everything that goes on here and trust me he is a good person.”

 

“He is. I know I gained that, but it was selfish. I owe Jo so much more than I will be able to give her. I’m going to try, but I won’t be here for her the way I should be.”

 

“Stop doing that. She has a great support system. And this will be her normal as she grows up. You need to stop beating yourself up. Your dad was wrong. You aren’t a fuck up. He was the fuck up. My mom hated him. She stayed for your mom and grandparents. She loved you and Cal. Ginny was a disappointment. She told me ‘the way that child turned out is unfortunate’. I couldn’t’ believe she said that.”

 

“Coming from your mom. That was bad. You heard what happened the other night?”

 

“Yes, don’t worry, I’ll count the silver when she comes to visit.”

 

“You are bad. How is your stomach doing?”

 

“Much better. I guess the baby didn’t like what I ate. The size of a small salamander and already causing problems.”

 

“Sit up a little.” He ran the tricorder over her one more time. She was ok, but he didn’t want her to walk. Her BP was a low normal. Len got up and picked her up. “No point in risking another fainting episode.” He got her settled on the bed. “I’ll let Jake help you change. No hot shower tonight. I remember you like the water to be scalding hot. I’m surprised your skin doesn’t fall off in there.”

 

“You love hyperbole, don’t you?”

 

“Sometimes. When is your due date?”

 

“January first. I know a New Years baby. Gwen says I will probably be late since this is my first.”

 

“Probably. We will be home from the day before Christmas till after the New Year. Maybe you’ll go then.”

 

“I probably won’t know I’m in labor. I don’t know if Jake told you, but I didn’t find out until I was eight weeks into the pregnancy. Thought I had an intestinal virus that wasn’t getting better, and I had what I thought was a period. Turns out it wasn’t and the vomiting was morning sickness. So maybe I’ll just think it is cramps.”

 

“You’ll know when it is active labor, trust me.”

 

“Len, if you are home when I go, can you come with us. Jake is great, and of course I want him there, but he doesn’t do well when I’m in pain. I think I need my surrogate big brother to be with us.”

 

“I have no problem with that.”

 

Jake and Seri came back with he orange juice. “Thank you both so much. Jake, if it is ok with you, and he is here, I asked Len to be in the delivery room with us.”

 

“Oh, thank God. I am going to be a basket case.” Len stood up as Jake took his spot on the bed.

 

“She is fine, just needs some fluids. Sip some water slowly to start, then the OJ. I see Seri made some toast. Try to eat a piece before you drink the juice. No point in getting acid reflux.” He patted Jake on the back and gave Sarah a kiss on the top of her head before he turned to leave. “Please call us if there is anything else you need, or if there are any problems.”

 

“Thanks Len. I’m glad you were here. Tomorrow we’ll go look at that farm. I’ll make a punch list for us to go over.”

 

“Thanks Jake. And you don’t have to thank me for taking care of Sarah. I love taking care of the family.”

 

Len and Seri walked down the stairs and peered into the sunroom. The girls peered out the back window as they watched the fireworks going off in the far field. “Let’s go Peaches! Grown-up time.” He pulled her to him. His hand was behind her head, fingers tangled in her waves as his other hand traveled down her butt to between her legs. His tongue was in her mouth as his index finger pushed her shorts and underwear aside allowing him to push his middle finger into her. Her moan into his mouth was soft, but she was definitely getting wet. He pulled his finger out as he disengaged from their kiss. “Just a promise for later tonight. Come on, let’s go.”

 

On the way to the craft Seri decided, she was definitely going to try the trick she heard bonded couples could do. He laid down the gauntlet, he just didn’t know it yet. Nope, she was going to have fun.

 


	40. chapter 40

Len and Seri pulled up to a full out party. There were fireworks going off and shine being passed to anyone not involved with the pyrotechnics. Rory had things set up on a small table near the alcohol. Len grabbed a beer and handed Seri a small glass of shine. “Here Peaches, you should try this. This is the peach one. They also have plain, cherry, and strawberry. I think the peach is the best.”

 

Seri took a sip. Her eyes widened. “Damn! I think this will last me all night. Aren’t you having any?”

 

“Not till I’m sure Sarah is resting and comfortable. Anyway, I want to see what Rory has. I can get baked and no hangover in the morning.” They walked over to the small table. “Ok, what do we have?”

 

Rory looked up from what he was doing. “We have these three that are hybrids, these two that are sativas, and these that are indicas. Jim already grabbed some of the silver tipped hybrid for him and Cal. They should enjoy it. I wanted to talk to you about this one.” Rory pulled out a jar from a box under the table. “Starfleet is interested in this for PTSD. Their botanist and doctors are beginning research on its levels this week. They seem to think it will help when coupled with therapy. What do you think?”

 

Len took a look at it, then handed it to Seri. “Are you incorporating it into edibles? Seri what do you think?”

 

“They have used it for centuries. Is this a different concentration of THC to CBD?”

 

“It is. I’ll send the specs to you. I forgot this was your field. Sorry.”

 

“No problem. I am a proponent of its use in cases that are not responding to standard, what I like to call, talk therapy. Thanks for sending me the specs, can you send me a copy of the findings as well?”

 

“Sure. But, tonight is for fun. Pick your poison.”

 

Len smiled. “Curious way to word it. I’ll take one of the sativas, don’t want to fall asleep and you know how I get with the indicas.” Seri looked up at him. “I fall asleep Peaches. Great for a lazy evening, but not for tonight. I know Cal has the bowl and the grinder. Any suggestions?”

 

“Don’t worry Cuz, I’ve got you covered. By the way I heard what Jim did for Rob. He is a good man, isn’t he?”

 

“You’ll like him once you get to know him.” Seri had wandered off to the bandstand. “June and Seri seem to get on.”

 

“June likes her. She wants to introduce her to Rebecca and Lizzy, but Rebecca is trying to keep an eye on Owen. I think the women believe we need adult supervision.”

 

“Don’t we? Tucker and Owen definitely do.” Len was remembering all of their exploits growing up.

 

“Afraid they’ll burn the place down?”

 

“A little. The shine turned out good this year. They should be happy.”

 

“Here you go.” Rory had packed the bowl for Len. “There is enough in that to share. By the way, your fiancé is the talk of the town. June thinks it’s funny. Let me guess, Callie dressed her.”

 

“Something like that. Thanks for everything tonight.” He looked at the bowl. “I don’t just mean this. I needed to see you. It has been a rough few years.”

 

“I know. Lenny, I am always there for you, Please, don’t forget that. All you ever have to do is call.”

 

“I know that now, but I think I forgot it for a while. Let’s join the others.” Rory grabbed his beer and headed over to the group of cousins. Len went to Seri. He took the bowl and a lighter.

 

“Peaches, come here.” She slowly wiggled up to him. He needed to thank Cal for the outfit. The band had started to play. Before he could light anything, Joce was next to him.

 

“Come here Donkey. They are playing our song.” They were playing a twentieth century country song called The Dance.

 

“This is our new song? It is appropriate.” He put one hand on her lower back as he took her other hand in his. They knew most eyes were on them, but neither cared. Let them talk.

 

“I thought so. I wish we hadn’t gone picnicking on each other the way we did; but I wouldn’t give up any of our time together.”

 

“It definitely made us who we are. You know I like Evan.”

 

“I know. He likes you. Thank you for including him in the farm decisions.”

 

“Joce, we fucked up our marriage, let’s not fuck up our divorce.” He held her tight as the song ended. After, she kissed him on the cheek and joined Evan at the shine station.

 

Len walked to Seri. “Well, that got some of the women here talking.”

 

“They aren’t women, they are girls. That bunch over there were always a little superficial.”

 

“I can tell.” She handed Len the pipe and lighter. He lit it, took a hit and handed it to her. She took a hit and passed it back. By then Cal and Jim joined them. Their eyes gave away the fact that they started earlier. Len and Seri took a few more hits each before he cleaned out the pipe and returned it to the table.

 

“Jim, come with me. I need you to meet a couple more people.” They walked over to a circle of Len’s cousins.”

 

“Seri, do you mind if I go with them?”

 

“No, I have something I need to do before the buzz wares off.” Cal ran to the group while Seri found a lounge chair near the fire. She stared at the flames. As she did she mentally focused on Len. It was time to see if the old wives’ tale was true. If it was this was going to be an evening for the books.

 

The flames took on abstract shapes as Seri allowed her mind to envision Len. Len, hot, sweaty, covered in dirt. Len, as he stripped slowly in front of her. Len, as he stepped under the water, and allowed the water to wash the dirt off. In her mind she stepped into the shower. He turned toward her, her hand wrapped around his cock. She moved her hand up and down until he was as hard as she was wet. His dick twitched when she released it. The flames became more intense as she continued to stare into the fire.

 

On the other side of the bonfire Len was talking to Owen and Tucker. They were asking Jim and him what it was like at the Academy. Without any warning he felt Seri’s hand on his cock. She was jacking him off. He was becoming rock hard. But she wasn’t there. It was all he could do not to moan. Thank God it was dark. He could feel her hands on his balls, then it felt like she was licking up the inside of his thighs.

 

Len looked around he could see her looking into the fire. She was nowhere near him. What the hell was in that shit he smoked? No, this couldn’t possibly be the pot. Next thing he knew it felt like her tongue was licking up the outside of his dick as she sucked his balls. She would alternate what she was doing, but she wasn’t letting up. He needed to get away from the group. If this kept up, he wouldn’t be able to hide his reactions.

 

“Excuse me, I need to take a leak. I’ll be right back.” As he left the group he tried to signal Seri to join him, but she was fixated on the fire. It was hard walking to the woods. He desperately needed to pull his pants down. Fuck! Now it felt like she was sucking him as her tongue wrapped around the head. He was going to cum. He walked about twenty feet into the woods when he turned so he could see the field. He wanted to know if anyone was coming near him.

 

Hurriedly he undid his pants and pulled them down releasing his rock-hard cock. It was pointing straight out as it throbbed. He moved his hand toward it to give himself a release when he felt her again. His head fell forward and he needed to lean his back against a tree. He could feel her sucking him off as she rubbed his prostate. He couldn’t hold back anymore. He came without ever touching himself. He could see his cum as it squirted onto the dead pine needles that littered the floor of the woods. He bit back a scream as he continued to cum. Finally, it stopped. It took him a few minutes before he could shake off, gather himself, and head back to the fire. God he was still turned on. When he found her, all bets were off. If she thought this was a game, he was going to play the rest of it on his terms.

 

Seri felt Len cum. Damn, it worked. She decided not to be there when he got back. It might be fun if he had to find her. Several of the couples had paired off and headed to various parts of the woods. The new irrigation system might be a better place to go than the woods. No one would go there; she and Len could do whatever they wanted. She wanted him to fuck her as hard as he could. This little exercise had her hornier than she had ever been. It took a while to walk to the pumping station. She leaned against the far side of the pump station building.

 

By the time Len got back, the group he had been talking to had dispersed. Jim and Cal were nowhere to be found, though Len had a good idea where she took him. Rory and June were missing as were Rob and Ann, Evan and Joce, and Meghan and Tucker. He looked for Seri, she wasn’t where he had left her. He closed his eyes. “That’s where you are.”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing Sandra, just talking to myself.”

 

“Looks like your girlfriend has left you. Maybe she found other entertainment.”

 

“Sandra, let it go. It was never going to happen. Go play with someone else.”  Len left her and began his walk to the pumping station. _“Don’t even think about going anywhere.”_

Seri was trembling, not with fear, but anticipation. She could hear stones being crushed under boots. She could feel him, hot, animalistic in his desire. He stood in front of her, his chest heaved from the exertion of walking to her after his release in the woods. She looked into his eyes, they were as black as hers. “Len...”

 

“Not one word. I don’t know how you did what you did, but now you are mine. You are going to lose all control by the time I’m done.” With that he pulled her from the building and pushed her against one of the larger pipes. “I’m going to fuck you until you don’t know who you are. Do you understand me. You think this is a game? If it is, I bet I can play it better than you.”

 

Seri’s shirt was an off the shoulder crop top. He pulled the shirt down until it laid on the grown. His one hand was on her breast as the other one continued to hold her against the pipe. “Undo my jeans.” Her hands unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. “Pull them down.” He took his hands off of her as she followed his instructions. As soon as she stood up he undid her shorts and pulled them down. “Step out of them.”

 

She did exactly as she was told. “Remember, not one word until I am done. I don’t know how you did what you did, but I will. Turn around.” She turned around. He grabbed her hands and put them on the pipe. “Spread your legs.” She did, which caused her to bend slightly from the waist. Len bent over her. She could feel his dick as it rubbed her folds. His right hand came around her front and ran down her body until his fingers touched her clit. “I want you to feel this. I want you to feel everything.” He lined up his cock with the other hand. Without warning he shoved it into her up to his balls.

 

Seri felt his cock hit her cervix as she bit back the moan that was building in her throat. “You want me to fuck you, don’t you? This is what you wanted isn’t it? I’m going to make you beg for it. You can only talk if you beg me. You made me cum all over the pine needles. There was cum on the ground. I’m going to make you squirt until this ground is soaking wet. I’m going to cum inside you.” Next thing she knew he was teasing her anus with his finger. He spit on his finger and inserted it, rubbing his dick from the inside as it slowly pumped in and out of her. It wasn’t long before he inserted another finger. She wanted to scream. She was cumming, it almost felt like she was going to pee herself. Before she knew it, her orgasm hit hard.

 

She squirted as his dick hit her g-spot. “You only think you’re done. You’re not done until I say you are. I’m not done until I cum inside you. I won’t do that until I hear you beg. Beg me Seri. Beg me.”

 

She wanted him to fuck her harder. She couldn’t control herself as she pushed herself back onto his cock, then up to his fingers. “FUCK ME LEN! GODDAMN IT I NEED YOU TO FUCK ME!”

 

“So, you want me to fuck you. Isn’t that what I’m doing? I could just keep doing this.” He knew what she wanted, he could feel her. She wanted him harder than she ever had him before. He pulled her torso up until she was completely flush with him. She was pushing hard onto him. He had taken his fingers out, but his dick stayed in. “Is this what you want?” He knew it wasn’t. “Tell me what you want. Beg for it.”

 

She knew what she needed. He said he wanted to cum in her. “FUCK MY ASS! I NEED YOU TO FUCK ME AS HARD AS YOU CAN. I NEED YOU TO CUM IN MY ASS!” She was completely out of control.

 

“Not till you suck me.” With that she pulled herself off of him put her shorts in front of his feet and fell to her knees as she hastily put his cock into her mouth. Before he could steel himself, she was sucking him off. The suction was incredible. He thrusted forward, but not enough to make her gag. He would never truly hurt her, but damn if this wasn’t a fun game. He didn’t want to get too close. “Enough. Get up, turn around, and bend over.”

 

She turned around and bent over as she placed her hands on the pipe. She presented her ass to him. He spit on his finger before he rubbed it around her anus. She was moaning as she tried to push against his finger. “Patience young lady. You’ll get what I give you when I give it to you.” His finger was inserted; the burn of the stretch was driving her crazy. Another finger was inserted then a third. He needed her stretched. Again, without any warning he took his dick out of her vagina and immediately shoved it into her ass as hard as he could.

 

“There, take it. You are going to take all of it as hard as I want. I’m going to fuck your ass as hard as I  
 can. I’m going to cum inside you. You’re going to feel all of me.” He began to pound into her. As he watched she dropped her hand from the pipe and began to rub her clit. “That’s it baby. Make yourself cum. I want to hear your juices as they hit the ground.”

 

She inserted her finger pumping it until she found her g-spot. She pushed against her finger as he continued to fuck her. Suddenly she started to shake. Seri didn’t want to scream, it might have carried to the party. She could feel her juices as they gushed out of her. Unbelievably she could hear them as they hit the ground. She had never cum that hard.

 

Len heard her. She had screamed, though he knew she was trying to stay quiet. He pounded into her. “Fuck me Len. Harder, God, harder.” With that he moved in and out of her, faster and harder. He felt his balls pull up hard. It wasn’t long before he felt his orgasm explode. He felt himself fill her as he continued to ride out the high.

 

Finally, he stopped and pulled out, both of them limp and exhausted. “I love you Seri. Are you ok?”

 

She turned until she was in his arms. “I love you too. I’m more than ok. Len, there was someone watching.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Over there. Someone was over there. I think it was Sandra.”

 

“Oh well, not much I can do about it now. When did you know?”

 

“Not until I told you. I couldn’t feel anyone but you before that.”

 

“Maybe she learned something.”

 

“She did. She knows there is nothing between you two, and that I am not just a toy. I don’t think she knew you could be that forceful. Guess she thought you were all sweetness and flowers.”

 

“God no, you definitely aren’t that. I need you. Maybe she’ll back off now. We should get dressed. I need to wash up. There is a room with a sink in it over here.” He pointed to a white building near the pump room. Len pulled his pants up as Seri grabbed her clothes. The inside of the building was a toilet and a sink.

 

“I think I need to go.”

 

“I did give you a small enema, didn’t I? Sorry.”

 

“I enjoyed myself.” She sat on the toilet as she pulled on her shirt and shorts.

 

“Thank God we didn’t have to go to the house to clean up.” He cleaned his cock and hands. I need to make sure this is completely clean. We may want to play again tonight. Someday you need to tell me how you did what you did to me.”

 

“I didn’t know it was possible.”

 

“Oh, it was possible.”

 

“We can try it later in our room. Maybe you can do it as well. According to folklore, only bonded couples can do it the way I did. I thought it was just a tale.”

 

“But you tried it anyway?”

 

“Thought, what the hell. You seemed to enjoy it.”

 

“That is an understatement.” As soon as they were done and cleaned up, Len and Seri walked hand in hand to the fire. The cousins had kept the fire going. Some of the couples had come back, but Jim and Cal were still missing. Len pulled Seri onto the lounge chair. She sat between his outstretched legs as she used his chest as a back rest. His arms encircled her as their fingers intertwined. Joce and Mama watched the two lovers. Life was coming back to the McCoy farm.

 

Not long after Len had left the group, Cal had asked Jim to follow her. He had gotten her baked and she wanted to spend some time with just him while they were still high. She wanted them to be completely open and vulnerable. He needed to be with her in every way. If this summer was all they had, she wanted to create memories that would last a lifetime.

 

Jim followed Cal. He wasn’t sure where she was taking them. About forty yards from the party she turned into the woods. It wasn’t too long before they came to a toppled tree. Jim climbed over it and gave Cal a hand. Once she cleared the tree he turned her back to the trunk. He could barely see her. The full moon helped, but it showed everything in shades of grey, like a black and white picture. His fingers traced her hairline before he pulled her to him.

 

He could feel her unbutton his shirt. She pulled it open and pushed the front panels aside. Her head rested on his bare chest as he felt her heart beat against him. “Cal, talk to me. What are you thinking?”

 

“Just that I never want to forget my time with you.” She memorized his scent. There was a rustling in the tree that caused Jim to jump. “Don’t worry, it is only the guinee fowl in the trees. They roost there at night. Grandma got them the year we had a bad tick infestation. Ticks are their favorite meal.” She snuggled in again.

 

“Ticks?”

 

“Don’t worry Blue Eyes. We don’t see them that often, but I’ll check you later.”

 

“Thanks.” He tilted her chin up. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She definitely looked like a McCoy. Jim watched the single men stare at her when she arrived in her shorts and bathing suit top. She had thrown one of Len’s button downs on and tied it at the waist. He noticed the time she made sure no one was looking at her except for him. That was the time she bent over at the waist to pick up God knows what. He could see her folds in that moment, pink and inviting. It was a vision just for him.

 

He brought his lips to hers but didn’t touch. “I want to taste you. I bet you taste like peach shine.” With that he licked her lips. His tongue slowly glided over them as he committed to memory the taste of peaches and Caroline McCoy.

 

Cal opened her mouth. He tasted like strawberries. She could still feel the effects of the weed. She was buzzing as she pulled herself closer to him. Her hands scratched up his back. He moaned her name. She wanted everything, all of him. “I…”

 

“I’m here, I promise I’ll never leave you.” He could hear the band through the trees. The speakers were pointed in their direction. “I want to dance with you baby. Can we do that.”

 

“Yes.” She looked at the ground. One day she would slip and tell him how much she loved him. Thank God that wasn’t tonight. Jim held her as he started to sway gently to the music. As the song continued he began to slowly undress her. The tree blocked them from anyone who might walk by, but there was an excitement to having sex in the open.

 

Cal pushed his shirt from his shoulders. He unbuttoned her shorts and unzipped them. They continued to sway as her shirt was untied and her bathing suit top unbuckled. The top fell to the ground as Jim pushed the shirt down her arms. She undid his belt and jeans. “I think I need to take off my boots.”

 

“Me too.”  They removed their boots and socks quickly. She was back in his arms moving gently to the music. Cal pushed his jeans from his hips and down his legs. When she came up he took her shorts off. The clothes were kicked to the side.

 

“Come here Cal.” He danced her in a circle. Slowly they came together in a soft kiss. The kiss deepened. Her hands ran down his side, his down her back. She could feel him getting hard as the moon lit her favorite opening in the woods. She wanted to try somethings with Jim. The weed was making her hot. Him pressing against her was making her mound throb. Every touch felt electric.

 

Cal turned her back to Jim. He kissed down her neck, as he did she began to moan and writhe grinding her ass into his crotch. “I need you Jim.”

 

“I can tell.” His whisper was a growl as she leaned her head back and he brought his mouth to her ear. “You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” Strains of jazz and blues came through the trees as some of the other friends started to play their set. “Tell me how you want it, because I want to be balls deep in you.”

 

Cal was moaning. They had been taking things slow and gentle for the most part, but they both liked variety. “Yes.” She hissed. She grabbed his hand and brought it to her mound. “I need you to fuck me. What do you need?”

 

“This. I want you on all fours.” He pushed two fingers into her pussy.

 

“Fuck Jim!” She stated to fuck his fingers. She was cumming hard. He pumped in and out of her as his other arm held her tight against him. He was in control. He could feel her clamp down as she clawed at his arm. After he pulled his fingers out.

 

“On your knees.” She dropped to her knees. He walked in front of her, his hard-on pulsing and twitching. Before she could put it in her mouth he knelt down with her. He played with her clit, rubbing it, feeling her folds swell. Her legs started to tremble just as he pushed two fingers into her. He hit her spot over and over. She tried to sit back. “No, stay on your knees.” She had no control. Unconsciously she began to push herself hard against his hand. Jim kissed her hard, his tongue kept rhythm with his fingers.

 

Cal screamed into his mouth as she flooded Jim’s hand. As she came down Jim turned her back to his. “You won’t be able to feel your legs when I’m done with you.” She whimpered as he pushed her onto all fours. “Damn Cal, you have the best ass I have ever seen. One day I’m going to fuck that.”

 

“God yes. Anything you want, anything. I want to feel your dick in me.” With that Jim slammed into her as hard as he could. Cal was moaning with each thrust. “FUCK ME! PLEASE FUCK ME!” She didn’t care who heard. At this point she wouldn’t have cared if her uncle caught her. She was beyond all reason.

 

They both pushed at each other. He could feel every pulse, every heartbeat. He was drowning in her. “I want to hear you cum.” She moaned and growled as he brought her higher and higher. Jim couldn’t hold back any longer her moans were pushing him. He wanted her to cum again, but he needed to cum. His teeth clenched as all of his muscles tensed. His orgasm kept coming as he filled her. Before his orgasm stopped she came again. She could feel his cum as it filled her. She wanted to have him in her always. As she came she couldn’t stop squirting.

 

Finally, they relaxed. He had her back against his chest as he held her close. Carefully he pulled out and turned her around. “I’ve got you Honey. I’ll always have you.”

 

Cal held him tight. This was all she wanted. “What are you thinking? Please tell me. I know you didn’t know I could be like this.”

 

“Baby, life would be boring if we only liked one type of ice cream.” He laid her down in the grass.

 

“Ice cream, really? I like a lot of different flavors, but I only like one on one, and to be honest I only like men. I don’t like to share. So, if you have a threesome fantasy, I can’t help you there. Sorry.”

 

“Doesn’t every man have that fantasy? But I’ll take note. No threesomes with Cal.”

 

She lay with her back to his chest. The moon lent a surreal light to all around. If she were honest with herself she could have gone for another round. Cal made a mental note, defiantly get some of the shit they had before Rory left.  After about twenty minutes they got up and dressed. She fixed her hair and made sure her knees were clean. “How do I look?”

 

“Not as good as you did a half an hour ago. But you are still the most beautiful woman here.”

 

“No, that title goes to your sister.” She was smiling.

 

“Not as far as I am concerned.” With that he stole one last deep kiss before they began the thirty-yard walk to the edge of the woods and another forty yards to the party. Between the hike and the sex Jim definitely got his workout in.

 

Cal saw Len and Seri on the lounge chair. As they walked toward the fire Rory and June came up next to them. “Hey Cal, Jim! Should we join the gang at the fire?”

 

Jim liked Rory. He reminded him a lot of Len. They definitely looked like cousins, but it was their personalities that were the most alike. “Yeah. Do you know what time it is?”

 

“About 03:00. Why?”

 

“Just wondering.” He looked at Cal, they had lost track of time. They must have been in the woods for over an hour.

 

Rory and June flopped onto the couch between Len and Seri, and Will who had fallen asleep. “Light weight.”

 

Len started to laugh. Cal pushed Rory over so she and Jim could fit on the couch with them.  Rory had a smirk on his face that told Cal he was definitely up to something. “What is it?”

 

“So, did you guys like my stuff? Your hybrid is a mix of the one I gave Lenny and an indica. The sativa seems to lower inhibitions. It won’t make you do anything you won’t normally do, but it does help push you past any uptight feeling you may have.”

 

Len sat forward with Seri in his lap. “That explains a few things. Yeah, we liked it. You need to keep that strain in stock.”

 

“Thought you would like it. How about you Cal?”

 

“I liked the way it made me feel. Maybe I’ll try it again when I can enjoy its full effects.” She glared at Rory. He understood. Len had always been protective of Cal. “Roar, can you help me get some drinks?”

 

He followed her to the soda table. “What is it kid?”

 

“Jim is afraid to let Len know about us. But you know Len. He guessed and I won’t lie to him. Jim doesn’t know that Len knows. He needs to tell Len when he is ready.”

 

“As long as he treats you well. If not, he will answer to me.” There was no humor in his voice.

 

“He does. Better than any of the men in my past. We aren’t making each other any promises. Neither of us wants to settle down, not yet.”

 

“Alright, just be careful.”

 

“You know with you around I will never want for big brothers.”

 

“No, you won’t. I love you baby, always have. You and Len got me through so much in my life. You were the only siblings I had. Katerina and Malcolm never cared for me. I was a disappointment as a brother. But never to you and Len.”

 

“No, never to us. The three musketeers, that is what the other cousins called us.”

 

“They still do. We are staying over. Thought you might need some help moving.”

 

“You know I’m moving home?”

 

“I know everything.” Callie gave him one of her incredulous looks. “Actually, Len commed. He said they would be off planet, and wondered if we could help you.”

 

“I really do appreciate it. Thanks! Don’t you have to get back to your farm?”

 

“I do, but I can spare a few days. We hired an amazing manager.”  They grabbed glasses and a couple pitchers of soda. The walk back to the fire was comfortable. Cal loved Rory in the same way she loved Len, and almost as much.

 

“You should have the blue room. Jake and Sarah have the rose room. I think Owen is getting the yellow one, Tucker the Red, and Joce the green. She loves that room, a private bath and a view of the stables.”

 

“We usually get the blue room. Cal, how is Len doing? He seems better, but I am still concerned.”

 

“He is getting there. Jim and Seri have helped. Also, he and Joce patched things up over the past year. You know she got engaged about three months ago?”

 

“I had heard. Her fiancé seems nice. I’m glad they worked through things. For them as much as for Jo.”

 

“He still seems to feel guilty about leaving Jo to go to the Academy, but I think he vanquished dad’s ghost.”

 

“Good, that son-of-a-bitch needed to be exorcised from his life.” They reached the group. “Her you go. I think we all need something without alcohol in it.”

Everyone had their glasses filled. “Len, I told Callie we would help her move. Everything should be done by the time you get back. Jim, later can I talk to you? From what I’ve heard you are good with farm economics. I’m thinking of expanding into other states and diversifying.”

 

“That isn’t a problem. We can go over your books and ideas.”  Rob and Ann sat on the ground as they joined the group. Mary sat with Will.

 

Len nudged Seri. They looked at Mary and Will. “It’s a good bet Imzadi.”

 

“That would be nice. She would be good with him, they are both sweet, though he may be a little more jaded than she is.”

 

Cal had been using Jim’s shoulder as a head rest, Seri leaned back into Len. She was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. Rob looked at the foursome with a small smile. “God, Len you’ve gotten old. I remember when you could go all night at one of these, then clean the stables before going to bed.”

 

“Hmmmm, I’m out of practice.”

 

“Why don’t you four take all the ladies back to the house. Rory and I will make sure the fire is put out once everyone leaves.”

 

“Are you sure? I thought I would stay to the end.” He looked around. Seri was almost asleep, Callie’s eyes were half closed, Jim was quiet, Ann was asleep with her head on Rob’s lap, and Joce had fallen asleep leaning back on the couch. “I see your point. Come on ladies, time to go to bed. Thank you guys, you are a lot of help. I do appreciate it.”

 

Rob slowly woke up Ann. “We know you do. Len, thank you for everything.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“It takes me awhile, I’m kind of slow at times. But I know what you did.”

 

Len looked concerned. “I just didn’t want…”

 

“Lenny, I get it. And believe me, Jimmy is going to earn his money.” He chuckled. “It took me a day to realize there was no way Jim could have gotten those funds. It had to be you. But I also know, the brains behind it was him. So, I owe both of you.”

 

“Rob, you owe us nothing.”

 

Jim had been listening. “Rob, you don’t owe me a thing. Just make it work, that is thanks to me. We are in this together.”

 

“Go to bed both of you. And thank you again…for everything.”

 

Cal had fallen asleep. Jim didn’t want to wake her, but he had to do it. He rubbed her arm until she started to stir. “Come on Cal, bed time.” He wrapped his arm around her waist as they all walked to the van.

 

The house was dark and quiet when they arrived. Jim and Len grabbed all the luggage as the women climbed the stairs. The suitcases were deposited in the correct rooms. Seri was already in bed when Len got into the room. He took off his boots and fell onto the bed. “You could take off your jeans. It might be more comfortable.”

 

Len turned over and laid on his back. “Too tired.”

 

“Ok, I’ll help you.” She got out from under the covers and crawled next to him. It wasn’t long before Len was lying naked on the bed. She got up and locked both doors to the hall. They needed to get at least eight hours of sleep, and chances were Jo would be up in a few hours.

 

“We really should get cleaned up. I can’t smell good after this night.”

 

“Just a quick shower. Oh, please just act like you have no idea that Callie is in Jim’s bed.”

 

“Is that where she is?” Seri glared at him. “I know nothing.”

 

“Exactly.”  They took a quick shower and climbed back under the covers. Both were asleep in minutes.

 

Jim had put the last of the suitcases in the yellow room. Cal had told him where they all went. He went back to his room. It wouldn’t do to have Len find him in Cal’s bed. He really did love this room. It smelled like home. He turned on the shower and stripped. He smelled like a smoke house.

 

The warm water trickled lightly down his back. Softly two small hands were drug down his back. “Sandra, I told you no.”

 

“Very funny.” Jim turned, he hugged her to him as he kissed her passionately.

 

After several minutes they parted. “I’m sorry, that is all I have the energy for. Right now, I am so tired I couldn’t get it up with string, a popsicle stick, and a crane.”

 

Cal was giggling. “I’ve never heard that one before. I just wanted to be with you. I like sharing your bed.”

 

“What if Len comes in?”

 

“He won’t. Seri knows and she won’t let him bother us. And I locked both doors. She reads you like a book.”

 

“Almost literally.” They got washed slowly before they slipped into his bed. “Good night Honey.”

 

“Good night Jimmy.” It wasn’t long before his breathing had changed. Cal waited until he was asleep before she snuggled closer. “I love you.”


	41. chapter 41

Spock had waited for the Captain in the medbay. After about fifteen minutes he entered the CMO’s office. “Dr. Targan, I apologize for the intrusion.”

 

Seri sat up. “Not at all. I’m just waiting for Len. Is there anything I can do for you?”

 

“No. The Captain had told me to meet him here.” He looked as confused as a Vulcan could. The Captain was meticulous when it came to meetings.

 

“He went to the station. I can tell you he is relaxed right now. I am assuming he found Cal. Spock, he isn’t doing as well as everyone thinks. But I am guessing you already know that.”

 

“I do. Seriana, have you had the opportunity to speak with him. I do not want to know what you spoke about, but I need to know if there are any concerns.”

 

“Regarding his competency? No. I understand your concerns, but honestly all he needs to get through these next few days is a good night’s rest. With Cal here, he’ll sleep better. Have you noticed anything I should be made aware of?”

 

“He never forgets appointments. Yet he forgot to meet me here. As his first officer I needed to know if it was cause for concern?”

 

“As his first officer? No, it isn’t a cause for concern. He is capable of making command decisions without hesitation. As his good friend, that is a different answer. Like the rest of us he needs this to be over. The pain of losing Pavel will take a long time, possibly years, to move past. But we all need time to decompress. Don’t tell me you don’t feel it as well.”

 

“Doctor, as a Vulcan I can assure you…”

 

“Are you sure you want to finish that sentence? Remember who you are talking to. I don’t read your thoughts, but I can’t block your feelings. I’m not like the rest of the crew; I know how deeply you feel. And Spock don’t kid yourself, I’m not the only one who knows.”

 

Spock sat next to her. “Who knows?”

 

“Besides me? Of course, Nyota but also: Jim, Len, Joseph, Christine, Sulu, Scotty, Callie, Mama, Rory…”

 

Spock stopped her. “I understand.” He seemed mildly irritated.

 

“Spock, it is alright. We know how hard emotions are for you to show and process. None of us would ever ask you to show us how you feel.”

 

His eyes softened. He wanted to talk, Seri could feel that, but Vulcans didn’t go to counselors. Counselors were there to help others sort out their feelings, and feelings were something Vulcans were not suppose to have. “Seri, only five of you have seen past the Vulcan façade. Perhaps façade is not the correct terminology.”

 

“No, it isn’t. It isn’t a façade, it is part of who you are. I’m always here for you.”

 

“I know. Nyota listens to me, but other than her, only Len really listened. He talked to me about Ambassador Spock after Krall. I told him about his death while we hid from Krall. I believed that to be the end of our conversation concerning him. One night he joined me in my quarters and brought up the ambassador again. Seriana, I do not know why, but I told him everything. I assumed he spoke with you about that conversation.”

 

“No, he didn’t. Spock he wouldn’t. He blocks those from me. As I do from him.” She wanted him to understand that he could trust her completely. “I won’t push, but as I said I am always here for you. Not as a counselor, as a friend.” She hoped that would help him open up.

 

“Nyota believes I should talk to you.”

 

“But do you believe you should?” It needed to be his choice.

 

“I do. As my father once told me, ‘What is necessary is never unwise.’.”

 

“Do you believe it to be necessary?” She mentally let Len know that she had a patient in his office. She would meet him in their cabin. Her eyes never left Spock’s.

 

“I believe it is. I have been concerned about my friends, but I have also been feeling great personal loss.” For him to admit his feelings was an extremely difficult thing, even if he was admitting it to a friend.

 

“To feel those things is normal. Tell me about the cell. Tell me about Mylus”

 

Spock’s expression turned. She could see the anger behind his eyes. “I do not believe that is necessary.”

 

“But is it wise to leave it unsaid?” He stood and began to pace. Len and he would tell her she was crazy if she told them how much they had in common; two sides of the same coin in so many ways.

 

“I could not let anyone but me go to the planet to retrieve them. It had to be me. Leonard was there. It had to be me. He saved my life, I could not risk his safety to anyone else.”

 

“You couldn’t risk it because he saved your life and you owed him?” She needed to lead him past the logic he had assigned in his mind to the action of transporting to Mylus.

 

Suddenly he stopped. His anger was coming from the recesses of his mind. He had pushed his feelings of anger, hate, and fear down since he knew Leonard was being tortured. He had showed nothing but a cool, logical façade. And it was a façade; it wasn’t him, it wasn’t what he felt. “No, I could not risk it because he was my friend. I did not know about Pavel at that time. I wanted them dead. I wanted to kill the Mylans from the moment you told me Leonard was being tortured. I felt the way I felt when Jim died. I wanted to kill Kahn. It was the same. How do you stop that feeling?”

 

“Why do you believe it necessary to stop that feeling?”  


“Leonard was not dead. Pavel was, but my feelings came from Leonard’s torture, not Pavel’s death. I was angry about the death, but it was not my main focus. If Leonard was not dead, is it not correct that all I should want is for them to be punished?”

 

“Do you feel you should be able to control your feelings, or should you simply control the way you react to those feelings?” Seri had learned how important it was to use logic with Spock. He tried to control his feelings through the use of logic. Seri felt this was an opportunity, an opportunity to show him that his human reaction and feelings were as important as his Vulcan sense of logic.

 

“If the feelings were controlled, then so would be the reaction.”

 

“But is it necessary to control the feeling? To stop it from occurring?”

 

“I believe you would say that it is not.”

 

“What I would say is irrelevant.”

 

“Not to me.” His voice had become softer, closer to a whisper.

 

“What is important is what you truly think. Please remember that you didn’t act on your feelings. You saved Len, Hylee, and Trexel. You made sure Pavel’s body was brought back. Do you believe that you can completely control your feelings, or the way you act on them?”

 

“It is obvious that I cannot control my feelings, though I did control my actions.”

 

“Ok, Spock can I let you in on a secret?” He cocked one eyebrow as he awaited her revelation. Sometimes his reactions were identical to Len’s. “Human’s usually cannot control what they feel. They feel what they feel. What they can control is how they react to their feelings. You felt rage at the knowledge that one of your closest friends was in pain, that there were individuals responsible for that pain. But in the end, you did not make revenge your goal. Your goal was to get to your friend, your brother, and keep him safe. You brought him home. Later you sat with him, talked to him.”

 

“My feelings were that of a brother?”

 

“Your feelings came from deep love. It is the same love you feel for Jim.”

 

He looked into her black eyes. “And you, Cal, Mama, and George.”

 

“Great pain is the price we pay for great love.”

 

“Then why love? Why would humans choose to feel the pain that comes with love?”

 

“Because it is worth it. When you remember your mother, what do you feel?” Spock closed his eyes. Seri could feel the love as it washed over him. It bathed him in comfort and security. “See, worth it. After the pain subsides, the love remains.”

 

His eyes opened. “I understand. Seriana?”

 

“Seri. Thanks to Jim I like it when my family calls me that.”

 

“Seri, thank you.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Helping me through this. I know this cannot be easy for you. You are right. It is worth it. The deep love I feel for Nyota and all of you is worth it.”

 

“I love you too; I always will.”

 

He touched her cheek. When he did he could see her hold him in Jim’s room after Kahn. It was just them that night. She never mentioned it, but she remembered. It was as important to her as it had been to him. They were joined as family. “I must return to the bridge. I believe the admiral will want to talk to me shortly.”

 

“I’ll see you later. Family dinner?”

 

“I’ll tell Nyota. We could meet at the station’s restaurant.”

 

“Perfect. I will let the gang know.” After Spock left Seri commed Sulu, Scotty, Joe, Christine, Adam, and Jim. Jim would tell Cal and she would tell Len. She then booked a table big enough to accommodate the entire gang of reprobates. They would all meet at 18:00.

 

Seri walked back to their cabin. Len was still in surgery, but she could feel him winding down. Not long after she arrived her PADD lit up. The admiral needed to speak with her. Seri answered the call as quickly as possible. “Admiral, I hope you haven’t been trying to reach me for too long.”

 

“Not at all. Commander, I do need to speak with you. Nothing as formal as a debriefing.”

 

“Certainly.” Seri watched the admiral shift in her chair. “Would you prefer it if I joined you on the station?”

 

“Would you mind if I joined you in your office?”

 

“That isn’t a problem. Or we can find a nicer setting. We have a great lounge.”

 

“I don’t think we want a lot of people listening.”

 

“Trust me, as soon as they see our ranks, the place will clear out.”

 

Shani had a small smile on her face. “I’ll come over in about ten minutes if that is convenient.”

 

“I’ll meet you by the gangway.” Seri had met Shani on Yorktown. A striking woman of African and Asian descent. They had struck up a friendship before Seri knew who she was. It wasn’t until they had to attend a mandatory ceremony that Seri saw her in her uniform.

 

_“Len, I have to meet with Admiral Cochin. I’ll come to our quarters after.”_

_“Does she need to talk to me?”_

_“She didn’t say. I wouldn’t worry. It shouldn’t take long.”_

_“I’ll wait for you. I love you Peaches.”_

_“I love you to Goofy.”_ He felt more in control than he had in a long time.

 

The sea of personnel parted for the admiral. Seri was smiling as she saw her. They embraced, shaking hands seemed too formal. “God Seri, it’s good to see you.”

 

“You too. Seems longer than a year. Or maybe I just seem a lot older.”

 

They walked to the officers’ lounge. There was a small table near the observation window. Seri grabbed them a couple of drinks, Shani loved Islay Scotch, and joined her friend. It wasn’t long before they noticed people quietly leaving until it was only the two of them left. “You weren’t kidding, were you? I just thought you wanted me to stay away from Len until it was necessary.”

 

“No, I wasn’t kidding. Len and Jim come here for a drink, or food. The same thing happens to them. Sometimes I think they do it for the entertainment.”

 

“Probably.” Her eyes became serious. “You have to know this isn’t a strictly social visit.”

 

“I assumed as much. What is concerning you?”

 

“Jim and Len. I am letting Jim rest before his debriefing. I read your notes. May I assume he hasn’t been sleeping much?”

 

Seri was careful, this wasn’t a casual talk between friends. This was a talk between an admiral and a lieutenant commander. “What do you want to know?”

 

“How bad is he? Should I be concerned? Should someone else take the Enterprise to Earth?”

 

“Is this a question of his competency?”

 

“Yes. You are the counselor, I need your professional opinion on this matter.”

 

“In my professional opinion, the Captain is more than competent. I would not leave him in command were he not.”

 

“I just needed to ask the question. I have spoken with the counselors on the station about Leonard. It is their opinion that I should interview him in a place where he is most comfortable. This will not be an easy interview, but we don’t want him any more traumatized than he is. Given the reports, they are all of the opinion that he will be able to come back to full duties after an ample rest and counseling.”

 

“He will get both once we are on Earth. I have received communications from several trauma counselors near his home. I will be suggesting a couple for him and the captain. If Lieutenant Sulu decides to stay at the farm, he will also be seen there. Hylee and Trexel will be seeing counselors near their homes. It is my suggestion that the crew be allowed extended leave with their families. I am also of the opinion that the Enterprise would benefit from having families on board.  The 1701-A has room for one thousand personnel. It also has ample room for the facilities necessary to accommodate the family members.”

 

“Starfleet has taken your suggestion under advisement. The Captain is in agreement with you. Dr. M’Benga also agrees. We contacted him since you are engaged to the CMO we did not use his recommendation. We felt it was a potential conflict of interest.”

 

Seri laughed. Just then two Ensigns walked into the lounge. They saw the two women sitting near the window, looked at each other, and immediately walked out. Shani burst out laughing. “Admiral, one thing the CMO will do is give you his honest opinion. You should ask him what he thinks about my idea. If he doesn’t agree he will definitely let you know. I work with the CMO, I am engaged to Leonard McCoy. When it comes to this ship and the best interest of it’s personnel, the two are not the same. It is something we are very carful about. It is how we work so well together.”

 

“It is a hard thing to do, separate your personal and professional lives.”

 

“It is necessary. If we couldn’t, I doubt I could have helped get him out of Mylus. You have read the reports, so you know.”

 

Shani looked at the table. “Yes, I know. How are you doing?”

 

“Who is asking?”

 

“Me, not the admiral.”

 

“I will be alright. I haven’t been home in years. Shani, I need to go for a walk in the orchard. It is winter there now.” She started to snicker.

 

“What is so funny.”

 

“When I was trying to distract Len, I asked him if he thought the peach trees would be in bloom when we got home. If he remembers that he’ll think I lost my mind. I just need some down time. We are getting married when we get back. I’ll send you the invitation as soon as we pick a date.”

 

“Isn’t it sudden? This isn’t because of Mylus is it?”

 

Seri smiled. “We’ve been walking down the aisle for almost a decade. It’s about time we arrived at the altar. No, we have both been toying with the idea for a while. Promise you’ll try to make it.”

 

“I will definitely try to be there. Callie is having me wait to interview Jim. I think he needs to be rested before we talk. She’ll make sure he rests.”

 

“Eventually.”

 

“You are bad. They make a beautiful couple.”

 

“In more ways than you know. I’ve missed our talks. We should comm more often.”

 

“I will make an effort if you do. I need to be the admiral now.”

 

“Not a problem.”

 

“Would I be able to interview Dr. McCoy now? I will interview the Captain later. I am hoping to finish the debriefings today. I believe I may have my assistant interview Dr. M’Benga and Mr. Spock.”

 

“Do you hate your assistant?”  The admiral looked confused. “You gave him the hardest of the group.”

 

“I didn’t think of that. I’ll give him the two security personnel instead of Commander Spock.”

 

“Dr. McCoy is out of surgery if you want to do it now. I can let him know we are coming.”

 

“We?”

 

“You said he could have someone present during the interview. He asked that I be there.”

 

“That is acceptable.”

 

Seri commed Len. There was no need to remind the Admiral that Len and she could communicate telepathically. There were times when people forgot that she and Len had that ability, they often used it to their advantage. Suddenly the admiral stared directly at Seri. She didn’t need to be a telepath to know that the commanding officer remembered their special ability. “I won’t coach him. I won’t communicate what to say. He will feel me, we can’t stop that, but I promise not to coach him in any way. I will only try to calm him, keep him focused on the facts.”

 

“I hate that you can do that.”

 

“What?”

 

“Read my thoughts. It puts me at a disadvantage.”

 

“I wasn’t. Shani, don’t ever play poker.”

 

“I am not that obvious at the negotiation table, thank God.”

 

“Let’s go. He’s waiting for us.”

 

“Is he nervous?”

 

“I won’t tell you that.”

 

“I’m sorry, that was over the line.”

 

“It’s alright. I know you are concerned. This won’t be easy, it hasn’t been long since it all happened. But I am sure he will come back from this.” It didn’t take long for them to arrive at Len and Seri’s quarters.

 

“Isn’t this the Captain’s stateroom?”

 

“He asked to trade with me. He wanted something smaller after Krall. Len moved in here a couple of days ago. Now Jim is in his room. Len had an amazing shower. I know we played musical cabins.”

 

“You three make me laugh. This is the only ship in the fleet run by a family.”

 

“Not just run. Thanks to the Captain this entire ship is one large family. It is what makes us the best.” With that she punched in the code. The door slid open.

 

Len stood immediately. “Admiral.”

 

“Commander. Please have a seat.”  He sat at the table in the dining area, back perfectly straight, hands folded in front of him. “The ship’s counselor agreed with the station counselors that it would be better if we talked here. If you would prefer we can go elsewhere.”

 

“No, this is fine.”

 

“Leonard, this isn’t going to be an inquisition. I’ve read the reports, I just need you to tell me a few of the events from your perspective. If this gets to be to much I want you to tell me. We can stop and finish it later. Len look at me.” He had been staring at his hands. He looked up. “Let me put this in terms you will understand. The admiral will be asking the questions, but your friend will be there for you if you need the questions to stop.”

 

“Admiral, I need this to be over. Shani, please don’t stop no matter how bad I may look. I can’t do this again.”

 

“I understand.” Seri had settled into the oversized lounge chair across from the couch facing the window. She would remain in the room, but not be a part of the interview. She would keep him grounded, remain in him. It wouldn’t be easy, but I could be done.

 

Admiral Cochin took out her PADD. “Let’s begin. Dr., according to the notes you could hear Lieutenant Chekov when they took him into the other room.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

“From what you heard could tell what they were doing to him?”

 

“Yes.” Len had learned the trick of only answering the question posed.

 

“Could you surmise from what you heard precisely what they were doing to Mr. Chekov?”

 

“No.”

 

“Dr. McCoy, could you describe the lieutenant’s wounds and what you believe caused his death?”

 

His eyes never left the admiral’s. She could tell the pain he was in, but his answer was necessary for the record. _“Seri, please. I can’t do this.”_

_“Yes, you can. Tell her the truth. Describe the wounds. What caused his death?”_

_“I stabbed him in the throat, slit his jugular, and let him bleed out.”_

_“Leonard, that isn’t the question. The question was, what do you believe caused his death, not who, what. Len what was the ultimate reason he died.”_

_“He bled to death.”_

_“Now you have it.”_ Blessedly thoughts were conveyed in seconds. Only Jim could tell when they were communicating. Len’s irises became greener and were outlined in black, a dead giveaway to Jim.

 

“When they brought Mr. Chekov back to the cell the first time his lacerations were serious, but not necessarily terminal. If we had access to medical equipment, even the simplest equipment, I could have saved him. The pain was severe but the wounds were survivable.   The second time they brought him back was a different story. His lacerations, in areas, went well below the subcutaneous tissue. The burns were both third and fourth degree. Several vessels had been punctured, intestines were exposed. At that point he was terminal. The damage was too extensive and he had begun to suffer multiple system failure. Ultimately he died from exsanguination.” His hands were trembling and he had begun to sweat.

 

The admiral noticed. Normally she would have postponed the rest of the interview, but he had requested they take it to the end, and she respected him enough to acquiesce to his request. “Dr. McCoy, to the best of your knowledge, did you tell the Mylan’s anything that could help them in the future? Allow me to be specific, did you give them any information of a military nature?”

 

“No ma’am, to the best of my knowledge I gave them nothing.”

 

“Tell me what happened to you in the torture room. I have Dr. Targan’s notes, but we still need your report.” With that Len told her everything they did to him in graphic detail. To her credit, Shani never cracked her professional mask, though internally her anger was rising. She would need to calm before she could aid in the Federation’s decision concerning the Mylans.

 

It took over an hour for the doctor to finish his account of the Mylan torture. When he finished he was still. Seri could feel him. He was about to lose control. He was warm, shaky, and nauseous. The debriefing needed to end. Len looked at the admiral. “Is there anything else you need?”

 

“No doctor, I believe that is more than enough for the panel. I would like to thank you for your cooperation.” She paused as she scrutinized her friend. “Len, I’m sorry. It is over now. I know you want to be there for Pavel’s ceremony. After that you are on leave until further notice. The refit should take at least a year. We will reevaluate your status at that time. Seri, that goes for you and the rest of the crew as well. Though, I know you and Mr. Scott, and the Captain will want to have input concerning the restructure of the ship, and the needs of the crew. I’ll leave you two. Please contact me if you need anything at all.”

 

Seri walked her out of the cabin. Len couldn’t move. “Shani thank you.”

 

“He is angry. I understand that.”

 

“He isn’t angry, not with you at least. But telling it at this stage, and in the detail he used, was hard for him. He’ll be ok, it will just take time. We’ll see you at the wedding.”

 

“If he wants me there.”

 

“He does. I promise you, he didn’t take the questioning personally.”

 

“I’ll see you then.” Shani headed down the corridor. There was no one there. She was grateful for this small miracle. She didn’t want anyone to see her tears. She liked Len and loved Seri, neither of them deserved this. Suddenly there were footsteps running up behind her. She turned quickly as tears were rubbed from her eyes. “Seri, what is it?” Seri stopped short. She didn’t let Shani know she had seen the tears.

 

“Please join us for dinner tonight. All of us are having dinner at the restaurant on the station.”

 

“That is sweet, but I doubt Len or Jim will want to see me after today.”

 

Seri knew she needed to get her to the dinner. If she didn’t, they would never see each other again, except at official functions. “That isn’t true. They understand, and I know they would both want you there. Please just come. It is at 18:00 hours.”

 

“I’ll be there. Go relax. I still have to talk to Jim. It will take longer than Len’s. I’ll do Spock’s next. That will be much shorter if I know him.”

 

“It will be short and to the point. Good luck with him.”

 

“See you tonight. Go take care of Len.” Seri hugged her and turned back to her cabin. Shani commed Spock to meet her in her office. It was going to be a very long day. She decided that dinner wouldn’t be bad. If it became uncomfortable she could make an excuse and leave early.

 

Seri entered the cabin. Len was no longer at the table. She went to the replicator and got a cold glass of water. The bathroom door was open; Len was seated on the floor leaning up against the shower stall. She sat down next to him, but also facing him. Periodically he would shiver even though it was a comfortable temperature. His eyes were closed, though she knew he felt her. He was sweating and nauseous, but he was fighting getting sick.

 

The fear was back, not as bad as it had been, but it was there. When he told Nyota about Mylus he hadn’t gone into the detail that he did with the admiral. This opened all of the wounds again. He felt like he undid all of the progress he had made. “Len, you did well. This is normal. You haven’t regressed. Last week you couldn’t have done this at all. No one could. Look at me.” She could feel his fear rising. “Talk to me.”

 

His eyes opened, they looked past her, dead, hurt. He could see him again. He could see Pavel in his arms. He could almost smell the blood. It was all coming back. Seri broke his line of site with her hand. He looked into her eyes. “Help me. Please.”

 

She placed the glass next to her as she turned to face the same way he was. She placed her arm gently around his shoulders and slowly pulled him to her. He didn’t fight her. His head rested on her shoulder. He didn’t want to lose control. No, he had worked far too hard to get to this point. “Len, it is ok. It’s just me here. No one but me. You don’t have to have yourself together for me. Lean on me.”

 

“Not for you, for me. I don’t want to lose control again. I feel like I am going insane.” He swallowed back the bile that threated to come up.

 

“You aren’t. Trust me, you aren’t, and according to Starfleet I am an expert.” The levity didn’t help. He was shivering again. “Here baby lie down.” She moved him until he was on his side and his head was on her lap. She reasoned, if he got sick he wouldn’t aspirate, and this position gave him the best shot at not getting sick. He always felt safe when he lay like this. “Len, we are almost home.”

 

“But we aren’t there yet. Even when we are, this won’t be over. I’m afraid it will never be over. I see Jim when it comes to Tarsus IV. It is never over.” He was escalating. She didn’t want him to lose himself to his fears. The shaking became worse.

 

“It is okay. Don’t fight the shaking, it will only make it worse. I have you. No matter what, I have you. You aren’t Jim. And he hasn’t done everything he needs to do to move past that. You are doing exactly what you need to do. Also remember he was a child when it happened. That changes things. I have you.” She was rubbing his arm, reminding him she was still there. She let him shake, the nausea was subsiding. After a few minutes she could feel him begin to relax. Seri continued to rub his arm and make soothing noises. “Let’s go lie down.”

 

“Not yet. I don’t want to move. Talk to me. Right now, I can’t read you. Please talk to me.” His voice was soft, reaching.

 

“We’ll be home in a few days. Christmas is in a week. I thought we could get married then. I know Rose can have the gown done it time. She keeps asking me when we are going to set the date. I’ve been blowing her off for eight years now. She keeps telling me she put aside the perfect gown from me. Something about it being timeless and a one of a kind. Knowing her it will be classically elegant. Mama told me they finished the chapel last year. There are two windows waiting for two new crests. I don’t have a crest so I don’t know what she has in mind. If Jim is your best man, then can he officiate?” She was babbling. Seri knew none of it was salient to what was happening, but that was the point. She wanted to talk about things that weren’t life and death.

 

“Jim can do the ceremony, he is the Captain and an ordained minister. Don’t ask. I found that out during one of our less sober nights. Something he did for Aunt Doris the last time we were at the farm. Rory, I’ll ask him to be my best man. Christmas, I want to get married on Christmas day. That will give us an entire week to get it together. And most people I know take vacations around then anyway. I want Rory and Spock to both be my best men. I wonder if I can do that.”

 

“You’re the groom. I think you can do whatever you want.” It was working. The shaking was almost gone. “I don’t know about flowers at that time of year.”

 

“Let me take care of that. Can you send out the invitations today?”

 

“I can. I should also comm Rose. I’ll act like I’m checking in the way I normally do. Then she’ll ask the same question.”

 

“But this time your answer will be different.”

 

“It will. I thought Cal, Nyota, Jo, and Joce could be my attendants. I was going to ask Cal to be my maid of honor.”

 

“Shit that means I have to come up with two more men. Sulu and Joseph, that will work. We should pair Jo with Sulu. He’ll keep her out of trouble. Plus, he’ll scare her boyfriend.”

 

“That is mean.”

 

“Then why are you giggling?”

 

“I’m not a nice person.”

 

He sat up and cupped her cheek. “Yes, you are.” Softly he kissed her. “Let’s get some rest. I’ll talk to the guys tonight. Do you think Scotty would do a reading?” They got up and walked to the bed. Seri turned down the bed and slowly undressed him. Everything had to be gentle, no quick movements. They lay together. She wasn’t tired, but he needed rest.

 

“You can ask him. George and Mama will love being parents of the groom. It will be good practice for Jim’s wedding.”

 

“Yeah, parents of the bride and the groom at that one. Mama will be in all of her glory at both of them.” His eyes changed; there was a sadness to them.

 

“Len, he’ll be there. Part of Pavel will be there. You don’t think he would let either of you get married without him. I’ll leave a place for him in the front row if you want.”

 

“Thank you for that. It would help. We’ll have a chair for him with the gang at the reception. No bridal table, you know the type at the head of the room. I felt like I was on display when Joce and I had that.”

 

“Not a problem. I thought we could have it in the new barn. It hasn’t been used yet so no barnyard smells.”

 

“That would be perfect. No more than one hundred people will fit. That will keep the numbers down. I’m like you baby, I don’t want this to turn into a circus.”

 

“Won’t the entire town want to come?”

 

“Yeah, but we can limit the guest list to the ones that came to the first bonfire.”

 

“No Sandra, I don’t need the drama. How many husbands is it?”

 

“Four, and two children, don’t worry, none of the guys we know. She moved to Atlanta.”

 

“I’ll leave the guest list up to you.”

 

“I’ll leave it up to Mama.”

 

“Lazy.” Seri had bee playing with his hair as the faced each other. His eyes were heavy; soon he wouldn’t be able to keep them open. “Go to sleep Imzadi. You need the rest.”

 

“I’m afraid. Nightmares, I don’t want to have another one.”

 

“If you do I promise to be here. Len, I’m not going anywhere. Get some rest. I’ll comm everyone who needs to know our plans. I’ll ask Cal and Nyota tonight. We can do a mass mailing tonight from the list I’m sure Mama has had for years.”

 

“I’m sure she has. She has probably been keeping it updated just incase we needed it.” His eyes closed. “Just stay with me.”

 

“I’m right here.” He fell asleep. She knew the nightmares would come, but he needed to sleep. Hopefully she could keep him asleep during most of it.

 

The PADD would be used to contact everyone. Len didn’t need the noise of her talking on the comm. Seri contacted Mama, George, and her dad first. They were thrilled. Her father said he would definitely be there. As they both thought, Lena had a guest list ready to go. People from both sides. How Mama got the names of cousins from the Targan side, Seri had no idea. She commed Rory. He agreed that a bonfire the night before the wedding would be ideal. He would contact Sarah and Jake to make sure the barn would be ready for the reception, and that the guest houses would be ready for the out of town travelers.

 

Rose was contacted next. The conversation was normal until she asked if the date was set. When Seri said it had been she swore she could hear Rose’s scream through the PADD. Pictures of gowns started popping up. When she told Rose the date the pictures of the ones made from lighter material disappeared. She wouldn’t tell Seri which one was the special one. As soon as they settled in at home, Seri promised to go to the shop.

 

The restaurant was contacted and one more added for dinner. Seri could feel Jim. She reached out to him. He was in the debriefing. It was hard, but going well. He needed to know that he wasn’t alone. That was easy, Jim was never truly alone. Keeping Len asleep proved harder. He was having a fitful sleep. Not unexpected, but it was upsetting. Finally, he started to talk in his sleep. He was yelling at the ghosts in his mind to stop, to leave he and Pavel alone. Finally, he screamed and sat up quickly. The shaking was back.

 

Seri was there, rubbing his back and his arm, talking to him in guarded whispers. Len couldn’t understand what she was saying. There was a roar in his ears, the metallic smell of blood was everywhere, and the bitter taste of adrenaline was in his mouth. He got up and walked to the bathroom. He didn’t know if he could hold back the vomiting this time. He kicked the glass of water that was on the floor. Seri walked into the room. He was pacing, holding his stomach. “It’s alright Len. I’m here no matter what happens. You are safe. No one is going to hurt you. Come sit over here.”

 

He sat back on the floor with his back to the shower stall. It was across from the toilet just in case. Seri had put a towel over where the water spilled. He sat next to her. “I can’t shut it off. I can’t. I can smell it. Why can’t I shut it off? I could before, why not now? I can’t do this every night. Not again, please God I can’t do this again.” The shaking was back, and worse this time.

 

“It won’t be like this every night. I promise that. Do you want me to hold you?”

 

“I don’t know. I want to run away, but from what, to where. I can’t run, I can’t fight it. I can’t.”

 

“Don’t try to. Just allow yourself to feel.”

 

“What if I can’t stop it? What if this is the start of me losing everything?” He wasn’t making sense. The panic was taking over.

 

“I won’t allow that to happen. Just allow yourself to feel. Stop fighting it. I’m here no matter what happens I am not leaving.”

 

The shaking continued to get worse. The more he tried to control it the worse it was getting. He was having a hard time breathing. Suddenly he began to cough violently. Seri tried to guide him to the toilet, she knew how this could end. Without warning he had vomited down her front. “Oh God, I am so sorry. Seri, I…”

 

“It is alright. Len I am fine” She got him to the toilet just in case. The coughing had triggered his gag reflex. If He started coughing that hard again she wanted to be prepared. “This isn’t the first time someone puked on me. I don’t think it will be the last.” She poured a glass of water for him. “Here baby, drink this.” She took her uniform off and threw it in the shoot.

 

He was still shaking as she took him in her arms. “Seri, I’m sorry.”

 

“Stop that. It is alright, really it is. You are going to be okay, I promise.” She held him until he calmed. Once the shaking had stopped she helped him back to bed.

 

“I don’t want to fall asleep again, not now.”

 

“Alright, we can lie here and talk about the wedding. I got things started...” The rest of the time was spent with him listening to stories about their wedding. Tears ran down his cheeks as he pictured their future. Her fingers brushed them away as she continued to paint pictures just for him.


	42. chapter 42

Sarah tiptoed down the back steps. She felt a lot better than she had the night before. She had finished the toast when she woke and it helped. Lena and George were already in the kitchen and all of the children were playing in the front yard. “Good morning Mama, Uncle George. Sorry I’m running late. I’ll get started on the dishes.”

 

“You’ll do no such thing young lady. I ran into Jake last night. Congratulations! Baby, my pregnancy with Len was a nightmare. Have a seat. I’ll make breakfast. Any food aversions?”

 

“Believe it or not, chocolate. My favorite food, now I can’t handle the smell. It sucks.” George pulled out the chair for her. “I made a fool of myself last night. I need to tell Len how sorry I am.”

 

“Sorry for what?” She hadn’t heard Len come up behind her.

 

“Oh, just all of it. Sitting on the bathroom floor with you holding me was not one of my finer moments. What time is it anyway?”

 

George gave her a cup of chamomile and mint tea. “Noon. Lena and I wanted you to sleep in this morning. Jake is down at the stables. He said to get him when you all were ready to go to the Tylers. Rob grabbed Ann last night, but they’ll be back later. They can’t abandon the girls here, but I’m sure they were up late.” George had a grin on his face. “Hey Sarah, you know they figured out what causes pregnancy. Just in case you were wondering.”

 

“Thanks Uncle George, I think we figured that out.”

 

Len sat close to Sarah. “You know you never have to feel sorry or embarrassed about things like last night. If you want to talk about embarrassing nights, we could talk about how you found me the night I signed the divorce papers. That was not good.”

 

Sarah looked deep into his eyes. He was embarrassed about that. She hadn’t known it bothered him. “Len can you come with me for a minute?”

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah, just come here. I need to show you something before I forget.”

 

They left the room as George stood behind Lena and wrapped his arms around her. “She is a better sister to him then Ginny ever was. I hope he appreciates her.”

 

Lena leaned back into him. “He does.”

 

Sarah led the way into the library and closed the door. “What was that all about?”

 

Len turned to face her. “What do you mean?”

 

“What was so embarrassing to you? You were drunk, hurt, and angry. I was there. What was embarrassing?”

 

“You having to clean me up comes to mind. Throwing the Waterford vase against the wall. That was a mess. I don’t want to think about the mess in the bathroom. And I honestly don’t remember what I said to you, but I doubt it was pleasant. I was such a fucking asshole.”

 

“I’ll give you that last one. And it was Stuben Glass.”

 

“What was?”

 

“The vase, it was Stuben Glass not Waterford. You could have destroyed something cheaper. Did you ever wonder how I managed to find you?”

 

“I never thought about it.”

 

“Jake found the full bottle of Jack missing. It had been on the sideboard, and it was missing. We knew the papers had come in. It didn’t take much to put it all together. He went looking on grounds and in the out buildings. I took the house. It took me all of two minutes to find you. Do you want to know what I found?”

 

“Probably not.” Sarah tied her light brown hair back as she scolded him.

 

“You had finished the bottle, but I think half of it had come back up again. Let me recall the conversation, if you want to call it that. I was a child who didn’t understand life. I was a fucking idiot. I should go get a mop since that’s all I was good for. I stayed here because I would never make it in the world. No one would love me because I was too stupid.” His eyes became clouded. “Baby, you hated yourself. None of what you said was directed at me, it was all directed at you, it was just said to me.”

 

Len looked as though she had hit him in the face with a bat. He didn’t remember saying any of it, though clearly, she remember it all. Why was she still there? She should have left that night. None of it was true, none of it. He walked away from her and stared out the back window. “Sarah, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t mean any of it. I couldn’t. It isn’t how I feel. I never thought of you that way.”

 

Slowly she walked up behind him. “You don’t have to say anything. That is what you said, it isn’t what I heard. I heard what a failure you were, how could I give a damn about you, how I should leave you alone because you weren’t worth anything. You were angry and in tears. You lashed out at me, but you were really attacking yourself. You always do that when you are hurt or scared. You hear you father’s voice in your head.”

 

“I’m sorry I put you through that. I really am sorry sweetie.”

 

“Please don’t do that. There is nothing to be sorry about, and there certainly is nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re right. I cleaned things up, then I cleaned you up. By the way, I think half the women in Taccoa would have happily done that part.” She chuckled a little at the thought. “I had you showered and in bed by the time Jake got back. He had forgotten his comm in the kitchen so I couldn’t tell him I had found you. We were more worried about alcohol poisoning than anything else. I wanted to make everything better for you. I hated Joce for a time.”

 

“It wasn’t her fault.”

 

“I know that. But at the time all I cared about was how much she hurt you. Len my point is, that was a low point, but you never have to be embarrassed about anything, not with Jake and not with me. We love you very much.”

 

“Thank you for that. I remember waking up with you asleep next to me. I couldn’t remember a damn thing and my head felt like it was going to explode. I have never been that drunk since. I spent the next day sleeping in front of the toilet.”

 

“Jake took over at that point. I had done more than enough cleaning that night. I took the next day off.”

 

“You earned it.” She slipped her arms around his waist.

 

“You know something?”

 

“No?”

 

“I don’t know how I would have gotten through my brother’s death without you. I still remember your eyes when you told me. I don’t remember much about that day, but I remember that. Do you think it is the tragedies that bring us closer together?”

 

“Sometimes, but I don’t think it is what holds us together. Sweetie, I remember everything about the moment I had to tell you.” He turned around to face her. “I didn’t want anyone else to do it. You were my responsibility.”

 

“Was I?”

 

“You still are. I love you Sarah. This week has brought all of my feelings to the surface.”

 

“I noticed, especially with Ginny.”

 

His smile was sad. “Yes. I don’t feel great about it, but I won’t have her around Jo.”

 

“All joking aside, I know you don’t feel great about what happened. Len, you made the right decision, especially for Jo. It will be nice if Uncle George marries Mama. Then we will officially be cousins. I’m going to have to cut this short.” She was turning white and a little green.

 

“Do you need any help?”

 

“No, I’ve gotten quite good at this. I’ll be better in a few minutes.”

 

“I want you to go upstairs and lie down. Doctor’s orders. You are off today. I’ll bring up something light to eat.” He kissed her on the forehead. He always loved Jake and Sarah, but until this conversation, he never realized how much.

 

Seri woke to an empty bed. She must have crashed the night before, usually the shower would wake her. She even slept through Roscoe. Almost everyone in the house felt comfortable: the girls playing, June quietly watching them from the porch, Jake and Jim at the stables, Rory and George cooking, Mama laughing at the men, Owen setting the table, Tucker and Meghan squeezing the oranges for orangeade, Callie still asleep, Joce and Evan taking a shower. Len and Sarah didn’t feel as carefree, their love for each other was evident through what felt like an intense conversation. Len’s thoughts came through clear. From what Seri was reading, the night he signed the divorce papers was the lowest he had ever been.

 

The shower was uncharacteristically brief. Seri wanted to join the group as soon as possible. By the time she left the room Len was leaving Sarah’s room. He had left a tray of cut and pealed peaches with orange juice and buttered grits. “Good morning Peaches.” He picked her up and swung her around as he kissed her. “God, I love this.”

 

“I can tell. Is she alright?”

 

“Yes. She is going to have a rough month, but then she should start to feel better. She has today off, doctor’s orders.” His smile lit his eye to almost a pure green.

 

“Was it my imagination, or were there people dancing with half empty whiskey bottles on the crafts’ hoods?”

 

He laughed at her question. “No, that wasn’t your imagination. Don’t worry none of them were driving. There is a reason the real stuff doesn’t come out until the kids go to bed. Most of them didn’t go to bed until the live stock was taken care of, and the sprinklers were moved for later. You’ll get to know most of them as time goes on. There were a lot of farmers here last night. By the way, I hear you are the talk of the town.”

 

“I was definitely the talk of last night. Sandra hates me. The rest were looking at Evan and me like we were the livestock.” They started for the back stairs. Len lightly slapped her ass.

 

“They were curious. From what I understand, Joce and I were expensive commodities that went back on the market with the divorce. Crass as it sounds, it is the best way to put it.”

 

“You don’t want to know what they think of Jim and Cal.”

 

“Don’t ever tell me what they think of Cal. It could land a few of us in jail. Jim was going to help Jake pull the bales down from the loft. He’ll need another shower by the time they get back. I’ll stay downstairs so he doesn’t worry about me finding Cal in his bed.”

 

“Does it bother you, Cal and him?”

 

“I guess not. I just don’t want either of them hurt.”

 

“I don’t think they will be.” With that they arrived in the kitchen. Len called the dogs to let them out. He grabbed coffee and joined June on the front porch. Seri mentally let Jim know that they could go to the Tyler’s anytime he and Jake were ready. “I’ll go wake Cal. She should be at the meeting.”

 

Seri ran up the front stairs, went into Jim’s room and plopped herself on the bed. Cal jumped up. “What the hell?!”

 

“Good morning sis. If you don’t want Jim nervous about imminent death, I would suggest you get back to your room before he comes up from the stable. Oh, after the farm, we need to make our beds, strip the others, and do the laundry. Sarah is off today.”

 

“Is she ok?”

 

“She is going to have a rough month, but she’s ok. Len wants her resting.”

 

“She needs to rest more. Len has always been protective of her. It has been worse since the accident.” Seri looked confused. “Sarah had a younger brother, Ian. He was a nice kid, just reckless. Picture Jim without the restraint.” Seri’s eyebrows shot up. “I know, hard to believe. Not long after Len graduated from Hopkins and moved back home, Ian was rushed into the trauma department at Emory. He had been taken there from the local hospital after riding one of his motorcycles and evidently deciding it would be fun to see how fast he could take it down Mason Road. Mason seems straight, but it has some bumps. He hit one and went airborne at about sixty. How he didn’t die immediately no one knows. There was a car coming up the other side of the road when it happened, and they had stopped to help and call EMS. Emergency personnel got there quickly and as I said he went to the local emergency department, then to Emory.”

 

“Len was on?”

 

“He was one of the trauma surgeons on. He recused himself, I don’t think he could handle having Ian die under his care. Anyway, the parents were brought there. Mama went with them. Ian had died moments before they arrived. The surgeon had pulled Mr. and Mrs. Marsh into another room to tell them. Sarah arrived right after they were led away. Len waited in the lobby for her. He tried to pull her into an empty room, but she wouldn’t let him. He tried to tell her, but she just kept telling him no over and over. From what I understand he carried her into an exam room until he could get her to listen to him. Jake was in Texas and couldn’t get a shuttle until the next day. I remember them staying here that night. Joce set up the rooms for all of them and told Len to stay with Sarah. Sarah needed him that night. Like you, Joce understood the extended family dynamic. Len was a brother to Sarah, and Joce wasn’t that close to her at the time. Ian is buried in our family cemetery along with Mr. and Mrs. Marsh.”

 

“I had no idea. She is very sweet.”

 

“She likes you a lot. She told me at the bonfire. She also told me you impressed Jake. That isn’t an easy thing to do you know.”

 

“I like him. I saw you talking to Len at the fire.”

 

“I guess you know what he told me?”

 

“Unfortunately, I am having a very hard time blocking all of his thoughts at this time.” Cal threw on a robe and both women walked to her room.

 

“So, you know he told me that when I met the right person, I would know. I’m just afraid I met him, but I not ready for him yet.”

 

“I promise you, you’ll know when you are ready. And if he is the right one, he’ll be there.”

 

Cal was dressing as she talked to Seri. “You sound so much like Len. Seri, I’m glad he found you. When did you know? I mean when were you positive he was the one?”

 

“I think I knew a few days after we met. But, I was positive the day I watched him with Jim after a nightmare. He was calm and loving in a way I had never seen before; not from him. In the clinic he had been technically amazing, but the surgeons don’t get to know any of the patients. That night I saw a side of him I doubt many people get to see. Only his family and close friends get that Len.”

 

“It is his shield. That is what I always said. Len keeps the professional mask up so he won’t get hurt. The distance helps him keep from getting hurt.”

 

“I know you’re right, but that was when I was positive he was the man for me. Since then I have never wanted anyone else. We should head down. I can feel them; Jim and Jake are almost back."

 

Jim and Jake came up the front stairs. They saw Len and June having coffee and the girls running around. Jim threw his shirt at Jake and ran up behind Jo. Without warning he grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder. “Gottcha! I’m not putting you down!”

 

The girls were all squealing as Jo started to kick and laugh. “Uncle Jim, you are all sweaty! Put me down.”

 

He moved her so she was basically sitting on his arm as he held her and walked to the porch. “Ok Jo, but later I need you to help me load the crafts for the trip.”

 

“Got it! I can do that!”  He put her down and she ran to join her cousins and friends.

 

Jim and Jake walked onto the porch and joined Len and June. Len noticed the necklace Jim wore. It caused a small smile to creep across his lips. “Damn, now that is what the women wanted to see last night. Thanks for the private viewing. Now Len if you could join them that would be perfect.”

 

Jake threw the soaked shirts at June. “Pig.”

 

“Oink. I’ll go grab you both some of the orangeade.” June left the men and went to the kitchen for drinks.

 

“When do you two want to go to the Tyler’s. We should let Evan know.”

 

June came back with the glasses. The men were more than happy to take them. She went back to help with the prep work for dinner. Jake sniffed himself. “We should get cleaned up.”

 

Len’s look told it all. “Not a bad idea. Mrs. Tyler shouldn’t have to smell that.” Just to be a smartass Jim walked over and kissed Len on the cheek before he went in. Len was hysterical as he wiped the sweat from his face. “Asshole!”

 

Jake came in to Sarah asleep on the bed and an empty breakfast tray near her. He didn’t need to be told that Len had taken care of her. The McCoy’s were good people. Now that David was dead, the farm had a warmth and life to it that had been missing. He showered quickly, got dressed and joined Evan and Len on the porch. Jim would be down shortly and they could all go to the Tyler’s. If he knew Cal and Seri, they would be joining them.

 

Jake was right, Cal and Seri joined them on the porch to wait for Jim. Not long after, Jim ran out. “Hey Len, did you know my suit was in the armoire?”

 

“Will asked which room yours was. I assumed he put that and the shirt in there. If it is in the grey suit bag just leave it there. It keeps it from wrinkling. I swear those bags are magic. We should get going.”

 

They all jumped into the truck and drove to the Tyler’s. The two farm houses were on the drive that led into the farm. The white one was closer to the road, and the brick one sat back closer to the stables. The Tylers had lived in the brick one, but as the kids moved out they relocated to the smaller white one. Smaller was a relative term. The white farm house had five bedrooms, one master suite, and three and a half baths. No wonder it was becoming too much for them to maintain.

 

Mr. Tyler was sitting on the front porch. He got up and came down the steps to join the gang. Cal, Seri, Evan, Jim, and Jake pulled out their PADDS. Len would go over all of their notes during the flight to Betazed. It would help take his mind off of the fact they were in space. “Mr. Tyler, it is good to see you!”

 

“Lenny, come here.” He gave Len a hug as Mrs. Tyler came out of the house. “It is good to have you back, even if it is only for a little while.”

 

“One day it will be permanent.”

 

Mrs. Tyler came down and hugged everyone. “We should start at the stables. The pastures all got new fencing last year, and so far, none of the horses have done anything to destroy them.”

 

“Just give it time.” Jim was smiling. “I love when they get themselves stuck between the rails. I always kept a dozen extra rails for those days.”

 

Mr. Tyler joined Jim. He slapped him on the shoulder. “We have a couple dozen extra in that out building. It may seem excessive, but I hate having to scramble if I need more than I have on hand.”

 

“I understand that. Where are the breeding stables?”  Jim followed the older man to a large beautiful building behind the brick house. It housed the breeding mares, tack room and a room for veterinary needs. It was an impressive set-up. “Sir, are all horse farms around here like this one?”

 

“Oh, havens no. Emma’s and my families have been breeders for generations. When we married over thirty years ago, we joined the farms. The rest of our families didn’t want them, and we loved the life. We have been supplying Arabians for some of the top endurance racers on the planet these past twenty-five years. The Saddlebreds are more of a hobby, but they are in demand with people who still love the breed. Emma worked hard to get the lines the way they are. She bred for health, conformation, and temperament.”

 

Jim called a flea bitten grey over to him. “Why hello there young lady. How are you today.” He played with her forelock. She didn’t flinch; definitely not head shy. “She seems sweet. Is she in heat?”

 

“Actually, we just bred her last month. It took this time. She’ll foal in about ten months, give or take.”

 

Jim was impressed with the livestock, and the stables were nicer than the home he grew up on. “Sir, does the livestock come with the farm?”

 

“Depends on the buyer. Emma won’t let her babies go to anyone she doesn’t trust. For the McCoy’s yes, the livestock can come with if that is what they want. Obviously, the price is different if they want the horses.”

 

“Would you want to stay on the property, are you planning to move away from here.” Jim was making notes on his PADD.”

 

“Haven’t really given it any thought. We can’t maintain the house, and frankly it is far too big for just the two of us. It needs a young couple to bring it to life. We assumed whoever bought it wouldn’t want us to stay. I’ll ask Em. We do love it here, and all of our friends are here.” He looked at Jim; he saw a kind, thoughtful, young, gentleman. Len chose his friends wisely.

 

“Len will want to know. We should take a look at the sires and the other buildings. I know Jake and Evan are going over the place with Len, Cal and Seri will want to look at the houses, see what needs doing; but I thought we could do this, just us. I want a feel for everything.” Jim reasoned that the more intimate view would allow him to see issues that the others might miss. Problems with the homes were easily dealt with, but problems with the stables or the stock were a bigger problem.

 

Mr. Tyler was obviously proud of his farm, and with good reason. He was getting rid of it before his age caused it to fall into disrepair. The sires were magnificent, many were used for breeding at other farms, though there was one slightly older boy in the bunch. “That is Rusty. I know he doesn’t look like much next to the others, but he is my baby. He is ten now but seems older I know. He is excellent health. If I sell him with the place, I want to know that he isn’t going to slaughter. I helped bring him into this world. He isn’t part of the livestock, he is family. Maggie is one of his babies. Black is the one who makes the most. We charge ten thousand a live cover for him. And the mares must come to us. We also ship for artificial insemination, but for obvious reasons people prefer the live cover.”

 

“Really, I thought that AI would be preferred, especially with DNA testing. Eliminates the possibility of either being injured or the sire rejecting the mare.”

 

“Naw, I think people still prefer the old-fashioned way. If Len decides to buy it all, I’ll give you the numbers on the mares and the stallions. We kept the records on not only how much the covers go for, but also how much previous foals have brought in.”

 

The appaloosa stallion came over for some scratches. Jim scratched him and gave him a hug. “Hello there, young man. You seem to own the place. I think we may get to know each other later.” If Len didn’t buy this place or the livestock, Jim was definitely going to try to get Rusty. He could hear steps behind them.

 

“You’ve seemed to have made a friend.”

 

“He is nicer than you Bones.”

 

“And better behaved I would guess. Jake is making his punch list. He said he might take awhile and we should go home. Mr. Tyler, I am definitely interested. We have to leave tomorrow, but Seri doubts we will be more than a week. She said something about not being able to stand her mother or sister longer than that.”

 

The older man laughed. “I understand that. I’ll keep it off the market until you get back. After a few hundred years another couple of weeks won’t make a difference.”

 

“Thank you; and thank Mrs. Tyler for us. I won’t keep you waiting long for my offer.”

 

“I know you won’t. Jim, I know what you are thinking. If this all doesn’t work out, you and I can talk about Rusty.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Tyler.” They shook hands. Len and Jim joined Seri and Cal at the white farm house.

 

“So, Len, what do you think?”

 

“Honestly Cal, and you say I have a big mouth.”

 

“Got it. And you do.”

 

“Imzadi, Jake and Evan are going over things like grading and structural integrity. They said they will join us in about an hour. Jake asked us to check in on Sarah. He is worried after last night.”

 

“I know he is. She is fine, but I will check in anyway. Let’s go before Jo destroys the place out of boredom, or Joce kills me for taking too long. I know she wants all of us to have a family dinner before we leave. Owen and Tucker will be gone by the time we get back, but they promised to come by after Betazed. They need to get a few more bushels of peaches and the next crop should be in by then. Rory said something about the boys joining them. I think the babysitter may have had enough.”

 

“He told Mama he was going to pick them up after you left. Jim, he wants to talk to you when you get back from the trip.”

 

“I know. He wants to branch out into other states and diversify. You know if this whole Starfleet captain thing falls through, I may have a future as a farm consultant.”  Len rolled his eyes at the thought. They all jumped into the truck. It was already 16:00 and they hadn’t finished packing. “Cal, can you give me a hand packing? Ask Seri, I suck at it.”

 

“Not a problem, as long as you help with dinner.”

 

“Done.”

 

Len looked at Seri. _“Stop it Len. Let them have their time together.”_

_“He is cute sometimes. Don’t ever tell him I said that.”_ They pulled up to the house. The girls had gone home, Tucker and Meghan, and Owen and Rebecca had also left.

 

“I’m trying to get this straight. Jake is Kyle’s brother and Celia’s son?”

 

“You got it Peaches.”

 

“Kyle left with Sandra.”

 

“Good for him. Time to get back on the horse. He needed a fun night.”

 

Len’s reaction confused Seri. She knew he didn’t like Sandra, but he liked Kyle. “Really?”

 

“His divorce was caustic. He just needs to get laid. I know he knows she isn’t relationship material. He just needs a release.”

 

“I would feel bad for her if I didn’t know exactly what she was like.”

 

Joce came down from the porch. “Len, Sarah is still not feeling well.”

 

“I’ll call Gwen. Don’t worry, I’ll go up as well.” Len commed Gwen as he ran upstairs to Sarah. Seri excused herself to get their packing started. There was a crowd in the kitchen already, and they didn’t need her help.

 

Sarah didn’t look well when Len entered the room. “Hi Lenny.”

 

“Why didn’t you call me?”

 

“I’m getting use to this. I’ll be fine tomorrow. I have only had a few days like this. I think I need to get more rest, at least for now.”

 

Len laid next to her with his back against the headboard. “You know, this could be more than just normal morning sickness. I put in a call to Gwen just in case.” She glared at him. “Don’t look at me like that. You aren’t doing anyone any favors if you don’t take care of yourself. I want you to interview people to help you. I am seriously considering buying the Tyler farm. If I do, you will be the head housekeeper. I will need you to employ a staff to care for all of the living quarters.”

 

“Are you really thinking about it? It is a big commitment.”

 

“I am. Jake will be the manager of the estate with a management team and workers under him. In case you haven’t noticed, I have been giving this some thought.”

 

“Even though you were baked? That is impressive. I know how you get Sleepy.”

 

“Only with the indicas, smartass. Did you keep breakfast down?”

 

“Mostly.”

 

“So, no. Gwen will see to what you need. You can’t continue like this”

“Lenny I’ll be fine. I’m feeling a lot better.”

 

“You don’t look good Sweetie. Just humor me this time, please.”

 

“Okay. You and Jake are over protective.”

 

“Only sometimes. If you want you can stay here until you are better. Mama will take good care of you while Jake works. She is off for a few more months.”

 

Sarah turned and threw her arm over his stomach. “Thank you, Lenny. It will help a lot. Jake has been talking to me about moving closer. It might not be a bad idea. We can sell the house and see what we can get around here.”

 

“Don’t buy anything yet. There might be another option.” He began to rub her arm slowly. She was his sister as much as Cal.

 

“You’re thinking about the Tyler farmhouse, aren’t you? Don’t buy the place just for us.”

 

“I won’t. There are other options if I don’t.”

 

“Len, how did we get here?”

 

“One step at a time.” He slid down and rested his head on the top of hers.

 

Seri had them both packed in no time. They would be there for approximately one week, that included travel time as well. She wanted to see her dad, but her mother and sister would most likely cause her to leave earlier than originally planned.

 

Hopefully she would be able to talk her father into visiting Earth. Len want to talk to him about marrying his daughter. He knew that wasn’t the custom on Betazed, but he also knew that Mr. Targan’s approval was more important to his fiancé than anyone else’s.

 

When Seri was done and the bags placed by the door she went to the veranda. The view over the orchard was breathtakingly peaceful. She could feel Cal come into the room. “So, sis, how does it feel to be the lady of the manor?”

 

“Do you want the truth, or should we keep this superficial.”

 

“No, I want the truth.” Seri could feel her become serious. Cal was funny, but she was also loving and brilliant. She had to know this wasn’t easy for Seri. “I see your eyes as you look over all of this. It is the same look Joce had.”

 

“I love your brother, and I’m in this till the end, but I feel all of the responsibility that goes with a place like this.”

 

“Has he gone over the family corporation with you? That will most likely give you a stroke.”

 

Seri turned her attention from the peaches to her newly christened little sister. “What do you know about that?”

 

“That it is worth somewhere around seven billion credits. That it deals with off planet development, though I don’t completely understand it. I also know that Ginny has no idea. I know that Len worries about all of it. I’m not sure what Mama knows. But I am willing to bet Uncle George knows more than he says. Also, no matter how you act I know you know. If you read his thoughts you have to know.”

 

“I know because he told Jim. He was going to tell me, but I heard him in my head when he told Jim. How do you know?”

 

“During the divorce, he drank more than a little. He would leave his papers all over his room and I would clean them up. It wasn’t fair for Sarah to get stuck doing it all. Anyway, does it bother you?”

 

“No, I just know what it means. I want to be his partner and it isn’t going to be easy.”

 

“No, but we are all in this together.” She hugged Seri. They were in it together. This week was cementing their relationships. Len was her big brother, but after this he would see her as his equal as well. “I have my notes on the houses and the grounds. I’ll make sure he gets them. Seri?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Don’t let him retreat into his head. He’ll block you not to worry you. I’m sure of that. Make him stay open when it comes to all of this. Len wants to take care of all of us. He needs to understand that we all take care of each other.”

 

“Don’t worry. I know what he can be like. Thanks for putting all of that together. It will give him something to concentrate on while we go to and from Betazed.”

 

“I don’t envy you the trip.” They linked arms as they made their way downstairs.

 

Jake came in to the rose room with Gwen. “Hey you two. Time to get up; the doctor is here.”

 

Len got up and stretched. He shook Gwen’s hand. “God it’s good to see you. I missed you last night.”

 

“I was on call. Three deliveries, promise me if you ever have another one it will be during normal hours.” She walked over to Sarah. “Let me see what is going on.”

 

Len went to the door. “I’ll leave you all. Let me know if you need anything.” He left them alone and went to join the rest of the family in the kitchen.

 

Jim was prepping the chicken. “Bones, I need to pack, can you continue to bread the chicken?”

 

“You’re awfully domestic.” Teasing Jim was more fun than it should have been.

 

“Very funny. Cal, can you give me a hand?”

 

“Sure, I don’t think I can trust you to pack the right clothes. You’ll probably pack an aran sweater for a betazoid spring.” She followed him up the back stairs.

 

“Give them time Lenny. Smart money is on him ending up as your brother-in-law.”

 

“Uncle George, I don’t want to think about it.”

 

“She could do a whole hell of a lot worse.”

 

“She could. And by the way, do you want to move in while we’re gone, or would you prefer we give you a hand.”

 

“How the hell…?”

 

“I know everything.” He had the devil’s grin on his face. “Okay, I overheard you and Mama talking.”

 

“Are you alright with this. I know this is your house.”

 

“Only on paper. Mama loves you, Cal adores you…”

 

“But how do you feel about me?”

 

“Follow me. Seri, can you finish this? It’ll be fun, just pretend its Roscoe.” Len kissed her on the nose and led George to the front porch. This week was his opportunity to let the people in his life know what they meant to him. The porch was empty. Jo was getting washed, Cal and Jim were doing whatever they were doing, and everyone else was cooking.

 

Len hadn’t noticed George grab two beers. “Here you go son.”

 

Len took the bottle. “That is what I wanted to talk to you about.”

 

“I apologize.” He sat in the large wicker chair. Len sat in the one opposite him.

 

“For what?”

 

“You aren’t my son, you are David’s. I shouldn’t have called you that.”

 

“I like when you call me that, always have. I use to wish you were my dad and not my godfather. I thought that maybe if I were your son, then you would be proud of me, that my dad would be proud of me.” Len was looking at his beer.

 

“I was always proud of you. I know you. David was always wrong about you. He was wrong about so many things, but mostly about you. I would be proud to be your father. Maybe one day I can be your stepfather.”

 

“I hope so, but you’ll never be my stepdad. That seems wrong somehow.”

 

George stood to leave. “I understand. But I hope I can remain your uncle.”

 

“No, but you could be my dad.”

 

George sat down again. He hadn’t expected that response. David had been a presence. George needed to realize that no matter what the past, David was no longer a part of this farm, or this family. “I would like that very much. But somehow I think you may have to fight Jim.”

 

“He can share. I need to talk to you about the family business. I thought we could do it after Betazed. I’ll leave you all of the financials to go over before we leave tomorrow.”

 

“For the farm, or the corporation?”

 

“What do you know about that?”

 

“Cal found the paperwork when you were passed out drunk. She gave the PADD to me after you left for the Academy. She said you had forgotten it. I don’t think she ever told anyone about that.”

 

“I should be angry, but I’m not.”

 

“She did what she thought was best.”

 

“She was right. Would you mind managing it while I am in Starfleet? I know it is a lot to ask. I will stay involve; I just can’t be here. I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

 

“No, it wasn’t a fuck-up, just a choice. Now you have to make that choice work.”

 

“How about your choice?”

 

“I am starting my life.” He smirked. “I may be old, but I still have a few years left.”

 

“More than a few. We need you. I love you. I don’t know if I ever told you, but I always have.”

 

“I have always known. I’ll move in while you are gone. By the time you get back the house will be full and Lena will be in all of her glory.” They sat on the porch and looked over the land for which they were responsible.

 

“Mama loves all of this. I think she wishes I hadn’t left, but she loves Jim and Seri. Maybe that makes up for my screwing up.”

 

George looked at Len. He couldn’t understand how David could have been anything but proud of his son. Len wasn’t perfect, but who was? “Lenny, that woman in there, she is right for you. Jim, he is an amazing man who will always be there for you. Going to the Academy gave you that. The rest, we’ll just have to take things as they come along. And I love you. Don’t tell Cal, but I love you as much as I love her.”

 

“Damn, that much.” Len was happy. For the first time in his life things were coming together. “We should go in before Mama comes to get us.”

 

“I don’t want to piss her off. If I do, I might be too scared to sleep.” Both men got up and put their arms around the other’s shoulder as they walked to the kitchen.

 

The room was a bustle of activity that both men eagerly joined the controlled mayhem. Len noticed both Jim and Cal had yet to come back. He had seen Gwen leave by the side door while he and George were on the front porch. Sarah must just need rest, or she wouldn’t have left so soon. He walked over to Seri. “Peaches let me give you a hand.” Dinner would be a time for family; the family that had been missing all these years.


	43. chapter 43

Lieutenant McCoy’s cabin on the station was nice, but small. It befit her rank. In a way she preferred it to the larger one she would have been offered in a few months with her promotion. She had three years left on her enlistment to pay back the time she used to get her last PHD. Callie hadn’t decided what she wanted after that. She only knew that whatever she did, Jim was her first priority.

 

 Now he slept safe in her arms, but the past three years had been nothing but a series of commed talks and messages. She hurt for him after Krall. He was lost in so many ways. Jim had been losing himself slowly for about a year prior to the disaster. Though the events had helped focus him somewhat, he still wasn’t completely grounded. She had tried to get a transfer to Yorktown but was turned down. Starfleet wouldn’t even give her sufficient leave to meet her brother at the Yorktown station.

 

In the years since she had joined Starfleet, the younger Dr. McCoy had become almost as great an asset as her big brother. Along with Dr. Targan, she was helping to develop a comprehensive program for deep space psychological concerns. It was desperately needed, and the admiralty had been receptive to their suggestions. Jim was one of the strongest men she had ever known, and even he would have benefitted from a counselor. Seriana was amazing, but she was only one person. That wasn’t enough for a ship the size of the Enterprise. Hopefully this last mission would prove to Starfleet the necessity of having an adequate number of counselors on board.

 

Jim pulled her closer in his sleep. They had made love once more before he fell asleep. They always made love, not once had they simply had sex. Part of him was afraid he would wake and this all would have been a dream. Cal knew he need this time before he met with he admiral. According to Admiral Cochin, Len was going to be debriefed first. As much as this concerned her, she knew Seri could handle it. Len would always be safe with her.

 

The chime went off on Cal’s PADD waking Jim from his first sound sleep in over a week. “It’s ok baby, go back to sleep. It’s for me.”

 

“Please don’t leave Honey.”

 

“I’m not, I just need to answer this.” She read the message from the admiral. There was no mention of Len’s debriefing, just a message pertaining to the captain’s upcoming one. It would be in two hours in her office on the station. “Jim, your meeting with he admiral is in two hours.”

 

“Okay. Shit!”

 

“What?”

 

“I need to get cleaned up. All of my stuff is on the Enterprise.” He sat up and was looking around. “Why don’t we get you packed and over to there. Did you bring a lot?”

 

“No, I only have a few outfits. I wasn’t planning on more than three days. And I didn’t think I would need any night clothes.”

 

“Those you definitely won’t need.” With that they both dressed quickly. She sent word to the attendant that she would be leaving in fifteen minutes and they could turn the room. Jim carried her bags to the Enterprise. More than a few of the people they encountered on the way stared at the captain. Cal had become use to this, though she doubted Jim would ever be completely at ease with it. He wanted to get on board where he wasn’t a novelty, or as he had said one time, a side show attraction. There he was the captain, but also one of them; one of the elite.

 

They walked down a couple of empty corridors, took the turbolift and entered a corridor bustling with activity. The junior crew was readying the ship for the refit. Many had heard the admiralty were seriously considering allowing families on board. The ship’s Captain, CMO, EXO, and Chief Counselor were all proponents of the idea. They were packing their things for storage during the massive refit. There was an air of excitement in their preparations.

 

The senior crew was more stoic. The would pack during the trip to Earth. Cal would help pack Pavel’s belongings. Nyota had started, but during their communications Cal told her she would finish. Cal liked Pavel a lot, but she wasn’t as close to him as Nyota had been. It would be easier for her, though she suspected Jim would want to help.

 

Jim entered his cabin and threw her bags onto the couch. “This is smaller than I thought it would be on a ship this size. I love it! I had a fear it would be all metal and plastic.”

 

Jim smiled down at her. “This was your brother’s old room. Seri has mine and he moved in with her. It was too big for me. Every time I sat in it I felt your absence. Its size reminded me you weren’t here, that I was alone.”

 

Her hand caressed his cheek. “You were never alone. You know that right?”

 

“I had forgotten.” He kissed her softly. “I was in Seri’s old cabin, but when Len left this one I wanted it. He had the best shower on the ship. Now it’s mine.”

 

“I think we should try it out.” Jim could see so much of her brother in her. She had Len’s personality; or rather, the one he would have had if life hadn’t kick him around the way it did. The sass, intelligence, and deep love were what had attracted him to her all those years ago. She was his equal in every way. As he looked back on the years since that first summer he realized something, every female he had been with since then, every single one, had been compared to her. None had measured up to the beautiful woman in front of him.

 

Jokingly he picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. Gently she was lowered to the floor. All water restrictions were off now they were docked and using the stations water supply. Jim undressed her as if he was opening the most anticipated gift at Christmas. “I want to… I don’t know what I want. This is all I have dreamed about since the last time we were together. When we get home, can you move in with me please?”

 

“So, you don’t think Len will kill you? “

 

“You know he knows. He told me.”

 

“We agreed, you needed to tell him. But Jim, he guessed, and I won’t lie; not to him, and not to you. Did you ever notice I never mentioned Len’s knowledge of us?”

 

“You should have been a lawyer or a negotiator.”

 

“I am George’s favorite daughter.” She smiled. “I can tell you aren’t upset.”

 

“No, I’m not. I still can’t believe you are here.”

 

“Even after the past couple of hours? I may need to prove it to you some more.” He had her naked and in his arms, but Cal wanted him as much as he wanted her. She didn’t tell him, but all of this felt like a dream to her. She never wanted to wake up, not if it meant Jim wouldn’t be there. It wasn’t long before they were both naked and in the warm shower.

 

Jim took her hair down until it cascaded over her shoulders. He washed her hair with the honey shampoo he had bought in a small shop in Yorktown. It was the closest he had come to the shampoo Cal used on Earth. It smelled warm, just like her. But now she was there, he no longer had to close his eyes and imagine her with him. The shampoo was gently rinsed from her hair until it all washed down the drain. Cal ran her hand over her face to make sure all of the shampoo was gone. She maneuvered herself until she was behind him.

 

Small hands ran a soapy washcloth down Jim’s back. She turned him to face her and continued to wash his chest, arms and stomach. Cal sunk to her knees. The sight of him as he gazed down at her never failed to take her breath away. He was the handsomest man she had ever seen. Even after all of the years that had past, no one could compare to Jimmy Kirk.

 

To her, Captain Kirk couldn’t hold a candle to Jimmy. The entire universe knew who Captain Kirk was, but only a few knew Jimmy. Jimmy was loving, funny, brilliant, vulnerable, strong and at times almost brutal, but all he did he did for others; and he loved deeper than many thought possible. Captain Kirk held some of those qualities, but not all. Cal like the man who held them all. The man who gave her the look that she suspected no one else had ever seen.

 

She continued to wash him. She wanted him completely clean. It didn’t take much longer for her to have him exactly the way she wanted. After washing his dick, balls, legs, and ass, Cal stood and leaned over to hang up the cloth; Jim took it and returned the favor. She was scrubbed clean, even between her toes which made her giggle. “Just being thorough Honey.” He tossed the washcloth over the top of the stall.

 

The one feature Jim loved about this shower was the built-in seat. No wonder Bones didn’t want to give it up. It was deeper than the standard ones. Jim knew why he asked for this design. It was perfect for certain activities. He sat on the edge of the seat and motioned for her to join him. She stood in front of him. His hands encircled her waist, she really was tiny. He released his grip as his head rested on her stomach. She ran her fingers through his hair. “I’m here baby. I promise, I’m not going anywhere.”

 

His hand reached between her legs. Her folds were warm and beginning to swell. “I love you Caroline. I have always loved you. It was always you.” He pushed his index finger into her and immediately found her spot. She sucked in a breath as her knees buckled slightly. “You are the only woman I will ever want. Come here baby.” He had been stroking his cock with his left hand.

 

Cal moved closer as Jim removed his finger. “You are the only man I’ll ever want or need. I love you Jim with all my soul I love you. Promise you will never leave me.”

 

“I’ll never leave you Cal. I couldn’t” His eyes shown a sapphire blue as he looked into hers. “Turn around.” She turned her back to him but stood between his legs. Jim grabbed the bottom of his cock and held it for her. “Here.”

 

She knew exactly what he wanted. Cal sat in his lap taking all of him into her. Her feet were flat on the shower floor as she rode him. His arm was around her waist keeping her from losing her balance. Jim sat up and pulled her back against his chest. Their moans became louder as she rode him as fast as possible. The last two times had been soft and slow. Now they both wanted to feel the passion, the love and the lust. She could feel his cock as it hit her cervix with every thrust. “Fuck Jim, damn…”

 

“Harder, god Cal fuck me harder.” Her breast bounced against his arm as she rocked faster. She couldn’t hold back, her orgasm was cumming harder than she ever had felt before. “That’s it! I want to feel it. Harder, harder, I want to feel you cum. I need to feel you.” Jim needed the almost brutal feel of the animalistic way she was fucking him. He wanted to feel the intensity before the meeting. Part of him wanted to feel the pain of being used roughly.

 

Her head dropped back onto his shoulder as she screamed. Jim could feel her juices run down his balls as her walls milked out his orgasm. He almost blacked out as he growled her name. Nothing would ever compare to the way their bodies and souls connected every time they made love.

 

“The water is still hot.”

 

 Cal couldn’t move, and Jim held her close as he slid back in the seat. He was still half hard and didn’t want to pull out. He wanted to stay like that until he simply fell out. His meeting with the admiral was in a half an hour, until then he wanted nothing more than to lose himself inside of her. “The restrictions are off and the hot water is on demand. Scotty took the restrictions off of this shower when your brother was at his worst. He’ll probably leave it off until we get back, but for now we are running off of the stations water supplies.”

 

He fell out and she stood up. “How bad was he?”

 

“Cal I can’t tell you that. You need to ask him. Talk to him when we get back home. He’ll need you then. He’ll need to talk it out. Then you can talk to me. I’ll be there for you.” He had stood up and rinsed off.

 

Cal continued to rinse but didn’t take her eyes from him. “That bad? I’ll talk to him after the wedding.  I want him to have that before facing anything else. Seri said she has a couple of trauma specialists lined up for him. I know there will be some bad nights. I also know she has someone lined up for you. You won’t be able to run around them according to her.”

 

The shower was turned off. They both dried and began to dress. “I hate talking to anyone but her. I don’t need a replay of Tarsus IV.”

 

“It won’t be. Jim, she can’t do this, not now. Seri won’t say anything, but this is wearing her down. She can’t keep up the pace she has set this past week. She will do it for you if you ask. Please don’t ask.”

 

“I know how hard it has been. I was there for a few of the meltdowns. I won’t ask her. I can feel her you know. She isn’t hurt now so much as exhausted.”

 

“I think this wedding will be the best thing for both of them. I heard Mrs. Chekov wants Pavel to be buried at the farm. She wants him to be with as much family as possible. She asked Mama, but she is going to ask Len as well.”

 

“Fuck, I don’t know what to say. It will hurt, but I know Len.”

 

“I know, he will say yes. He can have Pavel near him. The graveyard was always where family came in the end. I think Len will ultimately feel honored. What do you think?”

 

“I think he will say yes without hesitation. I also think he will spend a great deal of time at the grave telling Pavel everything. Your brother is very sentimental.”

 

She took his necklace in her hand. “He isn’t the only one.”

 

Jim played with her anchor. “No, he isn’t.”

 

“Do you want me to come with you to the debriefing? I can’t come in, but I can wait outside.”

 

“No. It would be pointless. Also, I doubt it will take a short time. You can wait here or tour the ship. It’s up to you. If you want a tour, I bet Scotty would be happy to help.”

 

“I love him! He makes me laugh. I think I would like the tour if he isn’t too busy. I know he is getting ready for the refit.”

 

“I want him to take a break. This will be a great excuse. I can order him to relax, but it won’t do much good. He is technically off duty, but I know he has been using some of the other engineers’ codes to get into the programs. Don’t tell him I know he hasn’t stopped working.” Jim smiled at Cal. “As Mama would say, ‘choose your fights’. I wanted him to know I cared about his well-being, and he wanted to lose himself in his work. This farce worked for both of us.”

 

“There is a reason I hear people calling you the best captain in the fleet. That is what they say at the Academy and at headquarters. You should get going, or you’ll be late.”

 

Best captain in the fleet? He bet they didn’t think that any longer. Jim commed Scotty who promised to come get Cal. “I’ll meet you on board when I’m done.”

 

There was fear and pain in his eyes. Few others would have noticed it, but it was painfully evident to Cal. “Jimmy, it will be alright. I know Len, he didn’t lie. I also know Seri, she didn’t let him destroy himself.” His eyes changed from fear to concern. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but I can guess. I know my brother almost better than anyone.”

 

“The women of Taccoa think I wanted you for your looks. They would be shocked to find out they aren’t the most attractive things about you.” Cal looked mildly confused, not one of her normal expressions. “Your brains and your mouth are what attracted me. The rest is just a nice bonus.”

 

The door chimed. “Tonight, maybe I’ll tell you what attracted me to you.” She playfully grabbed his crotch on her way to the door panel. “Scotty!”

 

Scotty picked her up as he hugged her. “You are a sight lassie. Definitely better to look at than your brother. Hello Jim. Do you mind if I steal your girlfriend?”

 

Jim couldn’t help but smile at his chief engineer. They may have met under less than ideal conditions, and God knows their professional relationship wasn’t without its bumps, but Scotty was one of the few people in the universe who saw Jimmy and not Captain Kirk. He deferred to Jim as his captain, but in their personal life they were family, and Jim was the younger brother.

 

“Get going both of you. And try not to get into trouble. I’ll comm you when I’m done.”

 

“Captain, Jim, may I talk to you for a minute.” Scotty walked into the bedroom, Jim followed close behind. He closed the door so they could talk in private. “Jim, it will be alright.”

 

“How did you know.”

 

“After all these years don’t you think I know you. I know the same way I know that you know I haven’t stopped working.” Jim’s eyebrows shot up. “I know you’re scared. You don’t want to mess up. Trust that you won’t. Then when you are done we will all have one last family dinner before we get to Earth.”

 

“Scotty, will it really be a family dinner?”

 

“Aye. Pavel is with all of us. As long as we remember him, he isn’t dead. We are kept alive in people’s memories. That is immortality.”

 

“Thank you for that. Comm Jayla, see if she wants to come to the farm for her leave.”

 

“I already did. She will be traveling back with us. Her classes are done until after the New Year. She will graduate in another two years. She flew through her classes. They put her in the accelerated program and she is excelling.”

 

“That is great. When she is done, maybe she could join us.”

 

“I’ll see when the time comes. Now go before you’re late.”

 

Jim left after kissing Cal goodbye. He could feel Seri. Things were not calm in their quarters, but she seemed in control of the situation. He could feel her in his head. She wasn’t going to leave him alone in the debriefing. It was understood that she wouldn’t talk to him, but she would keep him anchored.

 

Admiral Cochin was at her desk when Jim entered the office. It was a comfortable but austere room. It wasn’t Shani’s taste, but it was only for her short stay on the station. “Jim, it’s good to see you in person.”

 

“Admiral.”

 

She smiled. Jim Kirk never showed fear, but she could see the fear and exhaustion in his eyes. She wanted him to relax. “Not yet. I thought we could sit for a few minutes before I turn into the admiral. I heard about the wedding.”

 

“What wedding?”

 

“Seri and Len. I bet they want to tell you in person. The rest of us just got invitations. I think Len’s mother is a little excited.”

 

“Trust me, that is an understatement. I knew they were doing it, I just didn’t know they had picked a date. It’s all so sudden. Maybe they should date a little longer, really get to know each other.” At least he was joking.

 

Jim had relaxed enough for them to begin. “I was concerned that this was sudden, but I see your point. Jim, let me know when you are ready to start. Len’s was hard, Spock’s was very easy. I have a feeling you will be somewhere in the middle.”

 

“We can start any time admiral.”

 

“Understood.” She pushed a button on her PADD. “I have notes on the other interviews. Would you mind if I recorded yours?” 

 

“No, not at all.” His eyes followed her hand as it placed the PADD on the desk. It sat between them like an executioner’s block.

 

Seri was with him. She was in his head and heart as he listened to the question. “Captain could you give your account of the events leading up to, and during the Mylus incident?”

 

The question was straight and to the point. It also gave Jim room for obfuscation. He began his story at the point where they were asked to separate. The retelling of events took over an hour and a half with Shani asking for more details during certain parts. Finally, he completed the tale. “We didn’t know exactly how bad it had been until they all materialized. Seri couldn’t tell us who was dead, and she certainly didn’t know what they did to either one of them.”

 

“Captain, in your professional opinion, did Dr. McCoy do what needed to be done with regards to Lt. Chekov? Did he act in the best interest of his patient?”

 

The captain looked directly into the admiral’s eyes. He didn’t blink. She knew. He had left out what he knew about Len’s direct involvement with Pavel’s death, but she knew. Had anyone said anything? Spock and M’Benga wouldn’t, Seri would never allow Len to do that to himself, and Trexel and Hylee didn’t see anything. No, she had to have extrapolated it from the interviews and the reports. “Yes admiral, Dr. McCoy did exactly what needed to be done. Mr. Chekov was his primary priority. He definitely acted in the best interest of his patient.”

 

“Thank you, captain. We should be through our findings before you disembark. I have gone through the documents before arriving and have taken into consideration all that we have been told by the crew directly involved in the incident. I will give you my findings as soon as possible.” She stood and extended her hand.

 

Jim stood and shook it. “Thank you, admiral. I know the doctor will want to know as soon as possible.” Jim walked to the door. Before it could open the admiral called to him.

 

“I’ll see you at dinner.” She wanted to gauge his reaction. If he didn’t want her there, she wasn’t going to go and make them uncomfortable no matter what Seri said.

 

Jim turned back quickly with a full smile on his face. “You definitely will. This is your first family dinner? You’re in for an experience. See you then!” Shani was left to wonder what he meant by experience.

 

  
The walk back to the ship was considerably lighter than the one to her office. Seri had left his head as soon as he relaxed after the debriefing. Shit! It had been over an hour and a half and Cal was with Scotty the entire time. Those two could get into more trouble than any two people Jim knew.  He punched in his code at the first comm station he found on the ship. “Computer, where is Mr. Scott?”

 

“Mr. Scott is on the main bridge.”

 

“Thank you.” Why did he do that? Why did he always say thank you to the computer? It made him shake his head. Because Mama made sure he always used his manners and now it was habit that was why.

 

Jim almost ran to the bridge. The turbo lift seemed to take forever. Finally, the doors opened to a scene that would make Seri laugh. Scotty was talking to Cal about the new accommodations for a counselor’s presence on the bridge. After the refit there would be a chair on either side of the captain’s. The one on his right would be for the first officer, or EXO if you prefer. The one on the left would be for the counselor.

 

The conversation was interesting, but Jim was more interested in the tableau. Scotty was standing next to the captain’s chair while every junior officer was staring at Cal and him, some with their mouths slightly open. Cal was draped on the chair, her back against the right armrest and her legs draped over the left one. She was thoroughly entranced with all she was being told. Neither of them noticed Jim. “Captain on the bridge.”

 

The crew all jumped up, and Scotty turned his way. Cal didn’t move. “I see why you like this chair. It’s very comfortable.” The others waited for his reaction. No one sat in that chair unless they had the con.

 

“Not always. So, I see the ship is still in one piece.”

 

“You weren’t gone long enough for us to get into real trouble. Scotty took me everywhere. I can’t wait to see it after the refit; unlimited hot water!”

 

“Captain, if it’s alright with you I’m going to call Jayla. She doesn’t know about Earth Christmas traditions and I wanted to give her a heads up.”

 

“I just heard the wedding is going to be soon, but the admiral wouldn’t give me the date. You should tell her about those. Don’t worry, it will be an Earth ceremony. Seri talked about that before.” Scotty looked truly relieved. “We’ll see you at dinner.” Scotty left the bridge almost as fast as Jim had entered it.

 

“Ok smartass, out of the chair.”

 

“Make me.” Jim picked her up to the sound of giggles from some of the younger crew. She was unceremoniously plopped onto the floor.

 

“Okay, time to get ready for tonight. Everyone, enjoy some downtime. None of you need to be onboard.” With that, the bridge quickly emptied leaving only he and Cal. Jim sat in the chair. “Come here.”

 

Cal sat on his lap and put her arms around his neck. “Too bad.”

 

“What’s too bad.”

 

“Anyone can come in, or at least see in. It might be fun to make love here.”

 

He smiled, she was the devil at times. “No, this is where I work. It isn’t where I live.”

 

“Isn’t it?”

 

“No, this is where I live.” His hand reached up behind her head pulling her into a deep passionate kiss. A young ensign entered the bridge, saw them, and quickly left. They never noticed. After they parted Jim led her to his quarters. There was an hour before dinner and they needed to change into civilian attire.

 

Len and Seri had discussed all of their plans for the farm and the wedding. He was more relaxed, and she felt after the dinner he would be able to sleep relatively peacefully. They dressed in civilian clothes. Family dinners never consisted of uniforms unless there was nothing else to wear.

 

It was a little before 18:00 when everyone started to arrive at the restaurant. They were all seated and laughing at the table when Shani arrived. She wasn’t dressed like the admiral. Len jumped up to greet her. “God it’s good to see you.”

 

“We saw each other this afternoon.”

 

“That was a lifetime ago.” His smile held a tinge of sadness. “Come on. We saved a seat for you near Nyota. That way you are with a grown-up.”

 

Nyota patted the seat next to her. Shani looked up at Leonard before she took her seat. “I sent the formal findings to your PADD. Read it when you get back to your quarters.” Through her smile she tried to covey the fact he shouldn’t worry.

 

“I will. Now stop being the admiral.” She was ushered to her seat. The atmosphere was loud and mildly sophomoric. “Hey Sulu, throw me a roll.” A roll came flying through the air which the doctor caught easily. This wasn’t what Shani was use to. It was a lot better than the formal dinners to which Starfleet forced her to go.

 

The waitress took every one’s orders. Given how rowdy the group was the tip was going to have to be large. For the first time in over a week there was laughter and joking. Jim suffered more than a few jibes regarding Cal. Mostly, Sulu wanted to know when he was going to use his high IQ and realize Cal was way too good for him. Also, that he needed to marry that magnificent creature.

 

Len talked to Sulu, Scotty, M’Benga, and Spock asking them to be in the bridal party. He had decided to ask Scotty to be in the party. Adam, and Christine were all going to give readings. Jim was the only one he hadn’t spoken to yet. He needed to talk to him alone. Jim understood that what they needed to say to each other was far too personal for this setting.

 

Cal kept looking at Len. They hadn’t had any time alone. She had been with Jim the entire time, but she wanted to talk to Len. Seri leaned closer to Cal. “He wants to see you as well. He wants to talk to Jim, but he needs to talk to you. Come to our cabin after dinner. He will come there after he sees Jim. Is that okay?”

 

“It is. It will give us time to talk.”

 

“It will. I have talked to Nyota, but I wanted to ask you to be my maid of honor. I was also going to ask Joce and Jo. But now with Len adding Scotty I need to pick one more person. I was thinking of Sarah.”

 

“She would be a great choice. Of course, I’ll be your maid of honor. You are my sister. Plus, I need to make sure you won’t get smart and run away.” Cal could always be relied on to make Seri laugh.

 

Dinner took over two hours. There were toasts to the couple and to friends. Shani understood why this crew was the envy of the fleet. They were bonded and it was all because of their captain. Jim Kirk had a reputation for brashness, but that was only a small percentage of his personality. What Shani, and his crew saw that he universe overlooked, was a thoughtful and intelligent young man tempered by experience.

 

As things wound down, no one noticed Jim sneak off and then return. He learned the trick from George. Len went to pay the bill only to find that it had been taken care of and a very generous tip left. He scowled at Jim who lifted his glass in a toast to his friend. Pavel had been mentioned and though missed the talk was of the fun and laughter he had elicited from his love of life. Even Len laughed at the stories that were shared. Seri kept an eye on him. Though sad at times he was having a good time.

 

The group broke up to go back to the ship. Shani went back to her quarters only after she promised to be at the farm for the wedding. It had been a good night for all of them. Len and Jim led the way back to their cabins. Seri and Cal were close behind talking about the wedding. Seri knew that soon they would be planning Cal’s. Life was beginning to come back to the Enterprise.

 

“Jim, do you mind if we talk?”

 

“No.” The ladies went into Seri and Len’s cabin.

 

Len followed Jim into his quarters. “I like what you’ve done to the place.”

 

“Smartass, I wasn’t going to unpack to have to pack again.”

 

“Practical.” Jim poured them both bourbons on the rocks. “I wanted to ask you a favor.”

 

“Have a seat. What favor?”

 

“Would you officiate at the ceremony. It would mean a lot if you could marry us. Rob can do it if you don’t want to. I know…”

 

“Shut up.” Jim was smiling at the doctor. “Of course, I will. I was wondering when you were going to ask. It isn’t a favor, it is a privilege. I was thinking of asking Rob when the time comes for Cal and me.”

 

“He would be honored, and Cal would love it. Cal looks happy. Is she?”

 

“You haven’t spoken to her? Of course, you haven’t.”

 

“I don’t want her to see the change in me. I want her to see the old Len, not the wreck I’ve become.”

 

“You think you weren’t one before?” It was a joke, mostly.

 

“Very funny. I know you’re right. I’ll go talk to her. But that means you get Seri.”

 

“I can live with that.” They finished their drinks before Len walked to his cabin.

 

Once they arrived at her cabin Seri and Cal began to talk about more than the wedding. “Seri, how is he? Please don’t lie.”

 

“I won’t lie to you. He isn’t doing well, but he is better than expected. Today’s interview was bad, it opened up most of the old wounds. Fortunately, those wounds should close faster this time. How are you doing?”

 

“Worried about all of you.”

 

“I am fine.” Cal squinted at her. “Okay, I am exhausted. I want to sleep in my bed at home.”

 

“That’s better. I know you. You have been taking care of everyone but yourself.”

 

“Jim has helped, so has Len.”

 

“Neither of them is equipped to be a support for you at this time. I’m here if you need me.”

 

“I know that sis. I will, but for now take care of Jim. That will help me more than you know. He is a ticking bomb. He still hasn’t talked it all out the way he needs to. He needs to confront his sense of failure. I feel it every time he looks at Len. He talked a lot of it over with Len, and the nightmares were bad that night, but he is still spinning if you know what I mean.”

 

“I know exactly what you mean. I’m sure Len helped, but I know Jim. He is holding more in than anyone knows.”

 

“Not me. I know what is in that head.”

 

“That must suck.” They both chuckled.

 

“No, I just know this is all wrapped up with Tarsus IV and Frank. It’s a nice little package.”

 

“Oh, it’s a joy. He needs to be home.”

 

“We all do.”

 

With that the door opened and Len stepped in. It was less than a second before Cal jumped into his arms. “God its good to see you idiot.”

 

“I love you too munchkin.” He wouldn’t let her go or put her down. His eyes were closed as tears streaked both of their faces. Seri snuck out and met Jim in his room. The siblings needed time to themselves.

 

“Hey kiddo. I have a feeling they are going to be awhile. Care to join me. He was seated on the couch. Seri cuddled up next to him. She needed the warmth and safety his touch gave her. They were bonded forever after that summer. He was her brother as much as Cal was Len’s sister. Blood meant nothing. Betazed had proved that to all of them.


	44. chapter 44

Jim’s room smelled like the jasmine that grew in the front flowerbed. Cal was happy he loved the room, but she would miss sleeping in there. She followed Jim to the armoire. “Cal, I wasn’t kidding. I suck at packing.”

 

A soft smile crossed her lips. “Not a problem. I have it down to a science. How long are you all assuming you’ll be gone?”

 

“Seri said one week at the most.” He looked adorably lost. “Do I have enough clothes for that?”

 

Cal thought he was cute like this. “You have more than enough. Let’s get the suitcase.” She saw the box from Hancock’s on his dresser. “What is this?”

 

“Oh, Seri got me cufflinks. The shirt doesn’t have any buttons on the cuffs. My problem is these don’t have that bar with the swivel bottom that most have.”

 

Cal opened the box. “Wow.” She whispered. “Sorry, they look like something Len would ware, very polished and classic. Our sister has good taste.” She always knew there was more to Seri than she showed the world. This proved it.

 

“They are nice. She said they have to stay in my safe when I’m not using them. Something about me not losing them.”

 

“I have to agree with her. Do you know where the safe is?”

 

“I didn’t even know I had one until she said that.”

 

“The four suites have them.” She walked to the common wall with his den near its door, to what Jim thought was an excellent reproduction of Cliffs and Sea by Monet. Jim’s mom had a print of the same painting hanging in their den. He had found it oddly comforting to have it in his room. Cal pulled the left side of the frame using the sketch as if it were a door. The safe sat directly behind the picture.

 

“It isn’t huge, but it will work for what you need. I’m sure you can get a larger one later if you need it. I’ll give you the code, but you can always reprogram it. Only Len, Mama, and I have the combinations. You’ll just need to relocate the Monet to a place where the light can’t hit it. The museum glass helps, but it is better to not have it anywhere near the sunlight.”

 

“I like it. If only you three have the code, then why would I bother changing it. I’ll forget it at some point and will need one of you to help me. And honestly, what would I need a big safe for? I like that sketch. My mom had one in our house. It wasn’t a reproduction like this one. It was more of a picture of the print.”

 

“Um, Jim, it isn’t a reproduction. So be careful when you open and close the safe.”

 

“What do you mean it isn’t a reproduction?” His voice rose in a mild panic.

 

“My great-great-grandma, and my great-grandma liked to collect things.”

 

“What kind of things?” He sounded nervous. Jim could be clumsy, and that was a fucking Monet. What the hell else was in this room?

 

“Great-great-grandma McCoy liked fine art. The international markets were collapsing. She used that time to get some nice pieces. Those stone figures on the mantel in your den and the painting on the wall opposite the fireplace, are part of her collection.” Jim was turning white. He remembered what he thought was a reproduction of one of the water lily paintings. “Do you need to sit down?”

 

“It might not be a bad idea.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “I am starting to understand why your brother aced the Earth part of our art appreciation course.”

 

“You had an art appreciation course.”

 

“Mandatory for anyone looking at command or space assignments. They want us to be able to converse about the culturally important things on other planets and not sound like idiots. One of the aspects of diplomacy. I forced Len to take it with me. I didn’t know he blew through the Earth section because most of it was sitting in his house.”

 

“I seriously doubt that.”

 

Jim walked into the den. “Oh, you have to be shitting me!”

 

Cal cringed. “Sorry, I didn’t know it would bother you. They are insured if that helps.”

 

“Not really. Faberge? Please tell me at least some of these are knock offs.”

 

She walked in with a sheepish grin on her face. “No. She knew her stuff. Before she met great-great-grandpa she had been an appraiser with an auction house. She specialized in Faberge, the Dutch Masters, and French Impressionists. She loved Vermeer and Monet. I think when it came to Faberge she also loved the history attached to the works. When the various families lost or diminished their wealth, she was more than happy to buy what they were selling. Gil Rothschild’s family gave her some good deals. You’ll meet him some day. Also, several governments had auctions. Anyway, it made her happy, and great-great-grandpa saw it as a transfer of wealth more than a shopping spree. The family was always good with money. Not my dad, but the rest of them had a gift.”

 

“If I break these I’ll be breaking a part of our cultural heritage.”

 

“Then don’t break them. Jimmy, that is why they are placed where they are. Notice they aren’t on the dresser. What good would they do if they were all put in vaults. Art is to be enjoyed. That is how we always saw it. Take a look on the walls. We enjoy it.” She giggled. “None of it was around between the time my grandparents died and my dad died. I think Len was afraid dad would sell it. That would have been the family feud to end all family feuds. Len never saw the money in the art, he saw our families love for heritage and beauty. He saw my grandma’s eyes as they lit up when she would hold this horse. There are memories in all of this. The memories are the treasures.”

 

“I know. I just didn’t realize. I grew up where a wooden apple was considered art.”

 

“We have those too.” He smiled at her. This was a different world from where he grew up. “Len lends out a lot of the pieces to museums. He believes that they should be enjoyed by as many people as possible. But we do keep some of the pieces here. Walk around, you’ll recognize some of the works. But the Vermeer and the Van Goghs are on loan to the Smithsonian.”

 

“I almost hate to ask; what did your great-grandma collect?”

 

“Jewels and men.” She didn’t mean it to be funny, but Jim was laughing.

 

“One probably helped the other.”

 

Cal laughed with him. “Her husband died young. She never remarried, but yes she had a habit of collecting wealthy men that liked to make her happy.”

 

“Cal, what is your favorite thing? What piece makes your eyes light up?”

 

“Come with me.” She led him quietly down the grand staircase to the music room and closed the door. He was pulled over to the mantelpiece.  On it sat an inlaid sandalwood box, an antique wooden metronome and a small elephant made of silver with diamonds on the green and white enameled rug that lay across its back and in the middle of its forehead, there were gold accents, ruby eyes, and an enameled rider with a whip or crop. It was hard to tell which. “This is my absolute favorite.” She removed a silver and gold key from the box and inserted it into the elephant. It was turned a few times, removed, and the elephant set onto the rug. They sat down with it. The head of the elephant twisted in a similar motion to all pachyderms. Then it started to walk. Its tail moved slightly with the movement of the piece. Cal’s eyes lit up like those of a child on Christmas morning.

 

Jim was enthralled, not with the elephant, but with her face. It was a simple toy, but to her it held all the wonder of the universe. “Did you play with it as a child?”

 

“Dad would yell at me if I did. Grandpa would take it down for me and we would sit here in front of the fire and watch it march across the rug. One day dad saw us and made some comment. I don’t remember exactly what. What I do remember was grandpa telling him that it wasn’t his elephant it was mine, and I could play with it as much as I wanted. Dad was pissed. But Elphie has belonged to me ever since. Len sent her to get fixed a few years ago. She was getting a little creaky. You know what she is?”

 

“She is the thing that makes the woman I care about happy. She makes you smile like a little girl.” He had almost said the woman that I love. Jim made a mental note to be more careful about that.

 

“No, I mean do you know **what** she is?”

 

“Yes baby. I aced the art class. She is Faberge I would say around nineteen hundred. But you were right, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how happy she makes you.”

 

“May I put her in your room. I know Sarah will lock it when Ginny comes. Ginny would take her to spite me. She would sell Elphie. She wouldn’t keep her safe the way I do. My room doesn’t lock from the outside with a key. It only locks from the inside.”

 

“Let’s find a safe place for her. Take the box too. I think they are friends.” He enjoyed seeing her like this, lovingly sentimental. Her child like wonder made him love her more.

 

“They are!  I’ll find a couple other things to go down here.” Jim stood, grabbed the box, and placed the key in it as Cal stood with Elphie carefully cradled in her hand.

 

Elphie took her spot on the mantel, the box placed next to her. “I understand what you meant. The Monet is important because of how it makes me feel.”

 

“Jimmy, thank you. I feel so much better leaving her in here. I’ll let Sarah know where she is and why. Do you really like the painting?”

 

“I remember looking at it when my mom and Frank were fighting. I would pretend I was taking the row boat to one of the ships. After a while, I wouldn’t hear the screaming.”

 

“Then it stays in your room. Let’s get packing before we miss dinner.”

 

Jim only had one button down shirt besides his dress one. Cal put the cufflink box in the suitcase under the shirt. She packed two pairs of jeans, one pair of dark slacks and one pair of kakis. Eight pairs of everyday socks and two pairs of dress just in case. She also packed eight pairs of underwear, one pair of sneakers, his black dress shoes and belt, and eight various pull over shirts. Jim sat on the bed watching in awe.

 

“How do you do that?”

 

“Do what Blue Eyes?”

 

“Pack without even thinking.”

 

“It is all logic. One week means seven shirts, socks, and underwear. I pack one extra of each to be safe. The wedding had its own outfit including dress belt, socks, and shoes. You need shoes to go with he outfits and the shirts match the pants. You’ll be wearing your boots and belt there, so I didn’t worry about them. The toiletries are all on you.”

 

“Come here.” She walked to his side of the bed and stood between his legs. “I’m going to miss you.”

 

“It’s only a week, and I promise I’ll be here when you get back. By then we’ll know if Len want’s the Tyler’s place. If he does, that will take up the rest of the summer before we have to leave. I have to get there a day before all of you to fill out all of the paperwork and get a room assignment.”

 

“I bet the room assignment will be irrelevant.”

 

“How so? I do need a place to live.”

 

“Seri will most likely move in with Len. She is given a single because of her status as a doctor. That will leave an empty room. You will either move in there or with your brother. He is one of the top surgeons at the clinic. He has a two bedroom.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“I get a roommate. But honestly, I am not in my room that often. Seri walked in on me a few times. After that I exclusively had sex at my partners’ places.”

 

“Got it. We can all talk when we get there. I don’t like being alone.”

 

“Even if you have a single room, trust me you won’t be alone.” His eyes were laughing at her.

 

“Very funny. I am not talking about that.” Cal turned red. She didn’t want to talk to Jim about that. “I think Len and Seri will want to be on their own.”

 

“Or they will want to keep an eye on you. We’ll talk about it later. Cal, no matter what I will always be there for you. You know that, right?”

 

“I do. And you know I am always there for you; doesn’t matter the time or what happened.” He held her in his arms. Other women were fun, but Caroline McCoy was home. “Can you leave me a tee shirt? I think Len is beginning to think he may need to buy more clothes.”

 

“Baby you can always take what you need. Everything I have, and I know that isn’t much, is yours.”

 

“Same with me. I’m nervous about the Academy.”

 

“Come with me.” Jim led her to the couch on the veranda. “You will do great. And you have all of us to help you.  I’ll introduce you to Hikaru and Pavel when we get there. You’ll like them. We don’t have any classes together, but they live down the hall. What are you nervous about?”

 

“Mostly the unknown. When I went to Duke I knew some of the kids there. Our parents knew each other. I shouldn’t be nervous about this, but I am.”

 

“Is this the furthest you have ever lived from home?”

 

She became very quiet. “Yes.”

 

“What is home to you?” Jim turned to face her.

 

Cal thought hard; this house, not completely. These people, that was it. “My family.”

 

Jim saw the opening. “I know you love them all. If you absolutely had to pick one family member that you love the most, who would it be?”

 

“I can’t pick! I adore my family, you know that.”

 

“Ok, how about our generation only.”

 

 “That helps. How could I choose just one if I had to leave Jo out?” She thought again. “Len, you know it has always been Len. I cried every time he left.”

 

“So, this time will be different. You will be home. Len is home.”

 

“So are you.”

 

Jo came bursting into the room. It took her a few seconds to find them. “Aunt Callie, Uncle Jim, dinner is ready.”

 

Cal grabbed her. “Monkey, can’t you ever walk?”

 

“No!”

 

Jim picked her up. He didn’t know why but having Jo in his arms like that made him feel needed. Her little arms around his neck reminded him that someone relied on him. No one ever counted on James Kirk. Now this little angel needed him. Because of her he would need to grow up. It would be difficult, but she made him want to try.

 

Dinner was raucous. Lena loved all of it. Until this week the farm felt lifeless. Seri and Jim brought her son back from the dead. Len had made George sit at one end of the table, with him at the other. “Hey, Jake, throw me a roll.”

 

Sarah had joined them. She was feeling better and wanted something to eat. Jake threw Len a roll. “Jake, manners please.” Mama had to correct her boy. George’s laughter wasn’t helping.

 

“Yes Ma’am. Len what time are you all leaving.”

 

“We need to be out the door by 04:00.”

 

“Daddy! How am I supposed to get up that early?”

 

“Turtle, you don’t have to worry about anything. Make sure you sleep in shorts or pajamas tonight. Either Jim or I will pick you up in the morning. You can sleep in the car and on the shuttle.”

 

“Ok daddy. Can I sit with you on the shuttle?”

 

“Of course, baby. You can even have a window seat.”

 

_“Imzadi, are you sure?”_

_“I can’t tell her no. I just don’t want to puke.”_

_“You can do it. I’ll help if you let me.”_

_“Let you? I am counting on you.”_

_“If you can’t control it, I’ll take her to the bathroom until you are ok.”_

 

_“Thank you.”_

Dinner went too quickly. Len promised himself that there would be many more nights like this over the years. “Len can we talk for a few minutes?”

 

“Sure Evan. Let’s grab a drink and go to the library.”

 

“Donkey, you are only doing it to get out of cleaning up.”

 

“Damn right!”

 

He and Evan went to the library. Len walked to the cabinet with the decanters and glasses. “I’ll have a scotch.”

 

“Not a problem. Is everything ok?”

 

“Yeah.” Evan was definitely preoccupied.

 

Len walked to Evan with he drinks. “Talk to me.”

 

“I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Trust me, nothing could be as bad as what I am imagining.”

 

“Joce wants to have another child.”

 

“Okay? I assumed she would.”

 

“I’m sure Jo will be fine with it.”

 

“That is an understatement. I can see her fawning over a little one.”

 

“Does it bother you at all?”

 

“Why would that matter? But no, it doesn’t. I want you both to be happy.”

 

“I like you. We would still have more kids no matter what your answer was, but how you feel does matter. If it bothered you, I thought we could talk about it.”

 

“No, I want Joce to be happy. And I like you. I think you are better for her than I ever was. Evan, is that all?”

 

“Are you sure you aren’t telepathic like Seri?”

 

“No, just observant. Your eyes are looking everywhere except at me, your foot is shaking a little, and you seem to need that drink rather than want it.”

 

“Alright, here it goes. Joce said I should talk to you about this; that you would be able to help.”

 

“Alright?”

 

“We have been trying to have a kid ever since we got engaged. I know it didn’t take much for her to get pregnant before.”

 

“No, we didn’t get to have any fun trying; once and done.”

 

“Well, I got tested. Don’t say it was too soon to worry. I had good reason to be concerned. Seems it is me. I know it’s stupid, and I don’t’ have a problem with AI or adoption.”

 

“But you want to know if there is anything available.”

 

“Yes.” He stared into his glass. “I adore JoJo, but…”

 

“You also want one of your own. I get that. Plus, I wouldn’t mind being an uncle. I can spoil them, then give them back.” Len wanted to break the tension. Evan didn’t need to be nervous around him, and he certainly didn’t need to be embarrassed.

 

“Thank you for that.” He had a small smile on his face.

 

“I know a couple of good reproductive specialists. One works strictly with humans, the other works with other species and specie hybrids along with humans. Which one would work best for you?”

 

“How did you know?”

 

“It was a guess. Grandparent?”

 

“My maternal grandfather was Vulcan. I didn’t get any of the characteristics, and my blood is iron based.”

 

“It explains their postings. I’ll contact Kirsten for you. She should be able to pinpoint what is causing the issue and come up with possible solutions. Biologically the two species are compatible. It should be something easy to solve. I assume Joce knows your lineage.”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“Are you still thinking of moving to the area?”

 

“We are. Joce wants to be close for JoJo’s sake, but I think she wants to be near Mama in case she does get pregnant.”

 

“Her parents never really cared about her. That pissed me off, still does. You know they blamed her for the divorce? They are assholes. It was my fault if it was anyone’s. And I think it is when, not if she gets pregnant. I didn’t read your report on the Tyler place. Do you think it is a good purchase?”

 

“From my perspective it is. We can put a bridge or build a tunnel that will connect the properties. This will cut down on any traffic problems when crossing livestock or equipment. I put the estimates in my report, though I don’t think you can use them to drive the price down.”

 

“No, but it lets me know what I’m looking at cost wise. Did you look at the brick house?”

 

“Yes. Jake said two of the fireplaces need work, but the rest were in good order. Also, he wants to update the kitchen and baths if you get tenants.”

 

“If I take it, would you be interested in that house. I understand if you aren’t. It is a little odd given our relationship, but I would feel better if you were close. I can’t be here the way I want to be.”

 

“I am going to be off planet more in the next few years.”

 

“You’ll still be here more than I am. This way I have all of you looking out for things.”

 

“Plus, Jo would love to live on a horse farm.”

 

“If you both decide to do it, I want you to know I will consider it your house. I don’t want rent.”

 

“But you get your own personal engineer.”

 

“Something like that, yes.” Len was smiling. “If you move near here, I would like to know one thing. Just in case anything happens.”

 

“What?”

 

“Are all of your internal organs in the same place as a human’s. I don’t want you to be hurt and me looking for your heart where your spleen is.” The doctor looked genuinely concerned, but Evan was amused.

 

“Yes, I am the only one in my family to have the internal configuration of a human.” He was laughing.

 

“Thanks. Do you feel any better?”

 

“I really do. Thanks.”

 

“Evan, remember, you can ask me anything. I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Joce or Seri. I feel like we are all in this together.”

 

“Thank you for that. You can talk to me too you know. I am hoping we get to know each other better. Joce loves you.” Len’s eyebrow shot up. “I don’t mean like that.” He laughed as he said it. “But she does love you. That tells me a great deal about your character.”

 

“I spent a lot of time taking out my self-hatred on her. Some of the things I said were unforgivable.”

 

“Not to her. She forgave you once she figured it out. She said you are smarter than her in everything except self-awareness.”

 

“Ouch. She is wrong about me being smarter than her, but she definitely got the self-awareness part right.”

 

“She likes Seri, said something about you never being able to walk all over your future wife. By the way, that was before you asked the little fireball to marry you.”

 

“Great, another woman who can read me. Just what I need.”

 

“I have a feeling they do that to all of us. We’re screwed.”

 

The drinks were finished and Len sent a message to Kirsten to contact Evan. “Let me know what you think about the brick house if I buy the Tyler’s. I was thinking the white farmhouse would be perfect for Jake and Sarah. She never liked big homes and that one will be big enough for a family.”

 

“That isn’t a big house? I grew up in condos. Large condos, but they were still condos. Those places look like mansions to me.”

 

“Welcome to the rural south. The homes were made to be added onto so multiple generations could live under one roof. That is why they aren’t perfect rectangles or squares. The idea of community was lost for a while. I guess I am trying to get it back.”

 

“Your dad?”

 

“He hated to have people around. Mama overruled him most of the time, but the feeling of family that was here left when grandma died.” Len studied his empty glass as if it was a surgical subject.

 

“You know you aren’t him? The only thing you seem to share with your father is biology. Joce told me about him. You know she hated him?”

 

“I am aware. I think I turned into him for a bit.”

 

“Not from what I heard. Joce said you were hurt and scared. She never told me why you were, but given what has been going on around here, I can guess. You’re a good man Dr. McCoy, even if you don’t think you are.”

 

Len got up and walked to the fireplace. “I’m glad mama didn’t convert all of these to gas. Hmph, funny I still use the term gas.”

 

“We all do. It’s easier than plasmaform conduit injection.”

 

“It is. I’m not what you think.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I’m not a good man. You should have realized after Joce told you about the way I treated her; after what I did to my father, after what I am doing to Jo.”

 

Evan joined Len. Both men looked into the empty fireplace. “What kind of father would you have been if you stayed?”

 

“A present one. As it stands I’ll be an absentee one.”

 

“A present one who would have continued to hate himself. Eventually that hatred would have spilled over to her. This way Jo will always have a daddy that treats her like gold. Trust me on this, I had a father who hated all of us because we held him back. He couldn’t blame himself for his failings, so he took it our on the kids. Len, you did the right thing. You are coming back to the man you are, not the man your father wanted you to be. That last statement came from your ex-wife.”

 

“Evan, do you think we ever stop looking for our father’s approval.”

 

“I don’t know. If you figure it out, let me know.”

 

“Hey Goofy, we need to get to bed if we have any hope of getting up in time for the shuttle.”

 

“Seri, how long have you been there?” She had startled Evan, but Len felt her walk in.

 

“Not long. Joce and Jo are looking for you. They thought you could help put the monkey to bed. You won’t see her for a week.”

 

Evan looked at Len. “Don’t forget what I said. I meant it.”

 

“I’ll try not to. Talk to Kirsten. You’re already a great dad.”

 

“Thanks. I’ll see you after Betazed. I’m not getting up at O’dark thirty.”

 

“Don’t blame you. I’ll call when we hit Neptune on the way back.” Evan clasped Len’s shoulder one last time before he went to join Joce and Jo.

 

“Okay Peaches let’s say goodbye to everyone before we go up.” The rest of the family was still in the kitchen. Hugs and kisses were given as Len and Seri left for bed. “Jim, we’ll pack the car in the morning.”

 

“Jo and I already did it. Night Bones.”

 

“Night Jimmy.” The two went to bed. It would be a long day getting to Neptune.

 

Evan picked up Jo. “Okay monkey, time for bed.”

 

“I need a shower first. Daddy wouldn’t like it if I was dirty.”

 

“I see his point. You do resemble Ollie after a long ride.”

 

Jo hugged Evan as tightly as she could. “I love you Uncle Evan.”

 

“I love you too JoJo. I love you very, very much. I promise we’ll go riding when you get back.” He hugged her to him. She was his daughter, even if Kirsten told him he couldn’t father a child, he already had a daughter. The little one was carefully put down on the bottom step.

 

“I’ll let you know when my shower is done. Will you tell me the puppy story?”

 

“Definitely. Get going baby.”

 

She ran up the stairs, they could all hear the door slam. “When that child gets back we need to work with her on closing doors gently.”

 

“Good luck dear. Len didn’t start doing that until he came back from Ole’ Miss. I’m glad you’re all here.”

 

“So am I mama.”

 

“Mama, I need to get to bed.” Jim gave the ladies all a kiss on the cheek before leaving for bed.”

 

“I should make sure he has everything he needs.” Cal followed close behind Jim.

 

“Well, there is a euphemism I haven’t heard before.”

 

“George, honestly. I know you’re right, but really. Let’s all go sit out back. The peach trees smell good this time of year.”

 

“And you know Len and Seri really did go to sleep.”

 

“George!”

 

“Mama, we need to wait for Jo.”

 

“Okay, then the six of us. Rory, can you give me a hand?”

 

“Yes, Aunt Lena. I’ll take the lemonade if you grab the glasses.” The group congregated on the back porch. They talked about the Tyler farm and the change in the McCoy farm dynamics. Lena loved every minute of this. This was the life she had dreamed of. The life she hoped to have before she realized who David was.

 

Cal walked into Jim’s room. “Hey Jimmy.”

 

“Cal, come here.” She walked out to the veranda and straight into his arms. “I’m going to miss you.”

 

“I’m going to miss you too. We sound like a couple of teenagers. I’ll be busy moving back, and you’ll be busy on Betazed. Please, please, please tell me how Len does at the ceremony. Maybe I should have come?”

 

“You still can.”

 

“No, I really need to move back as soon as possible. No reason to pay rent when it isn’t necessary. Plus, it will give us time to think about how to handle the Academy.”

 

“I thought as friends. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

 

“You didn’t. We aren’t ready yet. I just don’t want to treated like a stranger.”

 

Jim pulled back and held her out in front of him. “Cal, I could never do that. No matter what, you can always come to me. And I’ll show you around the campus, and the town. There is a coffee house your brother loves and a couple of bars we frequent.”

 

“Close friends then. What about here?”

 

“More than friends, family. I guess we are family at the Academy as well.”

 

“That works. But no expectations.”

 

“None.” Jim thought, not yet. He bent down and kissed her with all the love and passion he had felt since the first time they made love. That night they made love on the veranda. Soft and slow. They both wanted to remember every touch. Tomorrow she would wake and he would be gone, but for now he was in her arms and the world melted away.

 

Jo called down the stairs as soon as her shower was over. Evan and Joce met her under the stars in her room. Her stepdad told her the story of a precocious puppy who found himself in trouble because he didn’t listen to his parents. Ultimately, they rescued him and he went to bed under his covers. Jo was sound asleep by the end.

 

“Joce, I talked to Len and he called Kirsten. I’ll talk to her and make an appointment. He said she specializes in people from multiple species families.”

 

“Told you he would guess. Did it bother him?”

 

“No. You were right. He is a good man. I just hope he realizes that someday.”

 

“He will. If we have to beat it into him, he will. We should go join the gang.” Joce stood, but Evan continued to look at the little one asleep under the stars.

 

“If I can’t give you another child, would it bother you?”

 

“No, but I know it would bother you.””

 

“Not really. I would be disappointed sure, but I already have a beautiful daughter. Len seems to see me as her father already.”

 

“How was he about that?”

 

“Good. He seems to just care about her being happy and well cared for. She will always have two fathers.”

 

“Told you.”

 

“Stop saying that. I hope he can be at the wedding.”

 

“Do you think we could do it during their winter break? I want to be your wife as soon as possible.”

 

“My family won’t come anyway, so that works.”

 

“Your family is here, the same way mine is. Trust me, they will all be here.” With that they left the room closing the door silently behind them. They grabbed two glasses and met the group on the porch. It was a beautiful night.


	45. chapter 45

Len and Seri awoke to the alarm. They were up even before Roscoe. “No Peaches, you can’t go wake up Roscoe.” He kissed her on the forehead.

 

“Why not? He deserves it, and it would be fun.” Len squinted at her. “Fine, let’s get our showers. It’s going to be a long day.” They took a warm shower and prepared for the trip. It was definitely going to be a long day. The ditty bags were thrown in the carry-on bags. Quietly they walked out to the hall. Jim was exiting his room at the same time. He only had the one bag that Cal had packed the night before, and his ditty bag.

 

“Morning Jimmy, I’ll take that. I can put it in my bag. One of us will have to carry Jo.”

 

“You can do that Bones. I’ll get the bags.” Jim put his ditty bag into Len’s carry-on and followed Seri down the front staircase.

 

Len entered Jo’s room. Herman’s warming light was on. He looked at the baby tortoise as it basked on the stone. “Hi buddy. Mama said she would take care of you. Don’t worry we won’t be gone long.” Jo was still asleep when he picked her up.

 

“Daddy?” She cuddled in closer to her adoring father.

 

“Yes baby. I have you. Go back to sleep.” He kissed her forehead and walked down the stairs and to the hovercraft. Jim had put the booster seat in the craft the night before. It would also work for the shuttle. Jo didn’t wake.

 

“Bones, do you want me to drive? I can plug in the name of the shuttle station and get the directions.”

 

“Naw. Why don’t you sit with your niece? I’ll drive. Seri, jump in.” They all buckled in as Len turned the craft on. It wasn’t long until they were at the station. Len grabbed a porter to help him with the bags as Jim picked up Jo and Seri took the carry-ons and the seat. Len was back with them after he arraigned to have the craft returned. He took the bags from Seri. They boarded without any problem. The shuttle was almost empty. No one wanted to take a shuttle that early in the morning.

 

“Imzadi, why don’t we take these seats? We can put Jo next to the window. She will love that when she wakes up.”

 

“Okay.” Seri could feel his nervousness. She attached the booster seat to the seat near the window. Jim put Jo in the seat and buckled her in.

 

“Bones why don’t you sit next to her. I’ll take the aisle seat.” That put Seri between Len and Jim. She excused herself and grabbed an airsickness bag and a bottle of water just in case. They went into her jacket pocket. It wasn’t long before they were buckled into their seats. She put her hand on Len’s.

 

“Peaches, thank you.”

 

“We are here. Jo can sleep through anything. Does that come from growing up around Roscoe? I swear that bird could wake the dead.” The shuttle’s engines were engaged and they had started to move.

 

“No, from Deep Fry. He was worse than Roscoe. He would come up to the house and start crowing. Mama could never get him to go in at night. Jo was around three when we moved home. She adapted quickly.” Len didn’t notice the shuttle had taken off. Seri was in his head as he told the story and she made sure he concentrated only on what he was telling her.

 

Seri’s thumb stroked the back of Len’s hand as her hand rested on his. He was shaky and nervous, but the nausea wasn’t as bad this time. Len fought the panic. He didn’t want Jo to see him like that. Jim said a silent prayer that there would be no meteor showers, or anything else that could cause turbulence. For her part, Jo slept most of the time. Len would stroke her hair periodically. He had done that since the day she was born. It seemed to keep her asleep longer.

 

Eventually Jo woke up. Her eyes were still sleepy until she realized where she was. Her head snapped around to look out the window. “Daddy look at that! Did you see all of the stars! Wow! Daddy look!”

 

Len had been looking straight ahead. He did not want to see the heavens as they sped past the various meteors and planets. “It’s okay Turtle. I’ll see it later.”

 

“But daddy it’s so pretty. They all look like the diamonds at Mrs. Hancock’s store.”

 

Jim intervened as Seri held Len’s hand a little tighter. “Monkey, I don’t think your daddy wants to look.”

 

“Daddy, I’m so sorry. I forgot. It’s ok. I’ll look for both of us.” She kissed his arm and turned back to the window.”

 

He whispered to Seri. “Some dad I am. My daughter is braver than me.”

 

“Don’t do that. We can work through this phobia, but it isn’t going to happen overnight. Just relax. Watch Jo, she is having fun. These are the things you’ll want to remember. What did Joce call it, little girl adventures?”

 

“Yeah, that is what she calls things like this. She wants Jo to have as many experiences as she can growing up. I agree with her, adventures like this will prepare her for when she is an adult.”

 

“Don’t look, but that redheaded attendant keeps staring at you and Jim. Do you want to know what she is thinking?”

 

“I don’t need to be a telepath to figure it out. I’m surprised she hasn’t licked her lips. Oops, spoke too soon.” The were laughing as their attention turned back to Jo.

 

“Hey Monkey, what do you see?” Len undid her seat belt so she could move closer to the window. If necessary he could grab her quickly.

 

“I think we just passed Jupiter. That moon looked like Titan in my school books. There are other shuttles going to a space station. Is it true that Jupiter had a huge red spot?”

 

“Well Turtle, a few hundred years ago it did. At one point it actually had two spots. They realized that the spots change over time. Why do you think that is?”

 

Jo thought for a few minutes. “Because the atmosphere is made of gases that change?”

 

“Exactly. Uncle Jim wrote a paper on it.”

 

“Uncle Jim, can I read your paper?”

 

“It’s a boring paper, but you can read it if you want.”

 

“I bet it isn’t boring. If I have any questions you can answer them.”

 

“Of course, baby. I’ll send it to you.” Jim was smiling. There was no possible way Jo would understand the paper, but it would be fun to see her try. He noticed Len wasn’t as bad as he had been the week before. Jo helped.

 

“Turtle, what do you see now?”

 

“There are a lot of stars. Daddy did you know that most of the stars we see don’t exist anymore?” Without knowing it, Jo was keeping her father occupied.

 

“Yes baby. Can you tell me what that one is called?” Len pointed to Saturn. “Daddy that is easy. It is Saturn. My books said that it was one of the first planets we could see with a telescope.”

 

“Yes, it is. And the rings were different a couple of hundred years ago.”

 

Jo threw her arms around Len. “Thank you, Daddy this is so much fun. Aunt Seri, can you take me to the bathroom?”

 

“Of course, baby. Let’s go.” Jo climbed over her dad’s legs and then crawled across Jim’s as she joined her aunt in the aisle. Jim watched them as they walked up the aisle.

 

“Bones, thank you.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Including me in your family. She is a definite catalyst for change.”

 

“Who?” Len wasn’t following Jim’s train of thought.

 

“Jo, she needs me. I never had that before. I need to do better for my niece.”

 

“I understand how you feel. I felt that from the minute she was born. Jim, she loves you the way you are. You know that?”

 

Jim looked intently at Len. “But I don’t. My dad was a better man. I…”

 

“Jim, you need to decide what you want, not what George Kirk wanted. We love Jimmy.”

 

“Whoever that is.” As Len began to answer Seri came back with Jo. Jo climbed into Jim’s lap as Seri took her seat next to Len.

 

_“What’s going on?”_

_“Nothing Peaches. Jim is just realizing what responsibility means. Being a part of a family is changing him.”_

_“This week has changed you as well.”_

_“I’ve grown up?”_  
  


_“You were always grown. I think now you have realized your true place in the universe. Lord of the manor.”_ Her last thought had a touch of humor to it.

 

_“Yes.”_  His thought was serious. _“Look at them. I am responsible for both of their wellbeing, and yours.”_

_“No, we are all responsible for each other’s wellbeing. Look at Jo. I didn’t tell her to do that. She knew Jim needed her, the same way she knew you needed her earlier. I can feel the little nugget. She seems to be almost empathic.”_

_“And she loves with all her heart and soul.”_

_“She is a lot like you.”_

_“Me before I started to listen to dad. I want better for her.”_

_“You have given her that. Imzadi, you really have found yourself this week. You will give her that. She will have a father who loves her and is proud of her no matter what happens. You know how important that is. She won’t ever feel about herself the way you feel about you.”_

_“I know. I just worry.”_

_“Of course, you do. You’re a dad. And you are you. How are you feeling?”_

_“Not bad. I thought this would be a disaster, but I was only a little nervous.”_

_“I know. I just needed you to realize it. Space isn’t so bad. What did you say before it’s ‘death and destruction wrapped in darkness and silence’?”_

He was chuckling to himself. “Something like that.”

 

“What was that Bones?”

 

“Nothing Jimbo. Just being reminded of something I said. You two look comfortable.”

 

“We are daddy. Uncle Jim said he was going to show me a mukluk plant if he can find one. They make a sound like little bells.”

 

“My dad has one in his garden. If you’re really good he may take you for a boat ride on our lake.”

 

Jim looked amazed. “Seri, how big is your house?”

 

She giggled. “Big enough that I could stay away from my mother and sister.”

 

“Aunt Seri, why does that woman keep staring at Uncle Jim?”

 

Jim held her tighter. “Because she isn’t you, so she can’t have this.”

 

“Uncle Jim, you’re silly. Look at the stars!”

 

“One day Munchkin, I’ll take you onto my starship.”

 

“Wow! If you are Captain, can I sit in your chair.”

 

“Only you baby. Look, there goes another ship.” He pointed out the window as a cargo ship passed their shuttle. The rest of the trip passed with Jim quizzing Jo on the different things they flew past. Funny how he didn’t even want to flirt with the attendant even though she was strikingly beautiful.

 

When the lights flickered Jo went back to her seat and Len buckled her in. It didn’t take long for them to dock on the station. Len picked up Jo’s seat and one of the carry-ons. Seri grabbed the other two and followed with Jim close behind. Len couldn’t get off the shuttle fast enough. They followed the signs to the luggage pick-up. Len and Jim grabbed the four large suitcases and three garment bags. The transport wasn’t leaving for another two hours, but according to the announcements boarding had already begun.

 

Jo took the seat and Seri grabbed one of the garment bags. The group followed the signs to their transport. “Turtle, are you alright carrying that seat?”

 

“I’m alright Daddy. I’ve got this. I’m a big girl.”

 

“Yes, you are baby.”

 

It wasn’t long before they came to the terminal. Seri pulled out her mall PADD and showed the boarding passes to the attendants. Directions to their cabin suite were given and they headed off again. The cabin was almost on the other side of the transport. It was on the left of the corridor which meant they would have windows. The code was punched in and they entered the suite.

 

For a transport it was a spacious cabin. The main room was a den with a kitchenette and eating area in the back. There were five doors spaced around the room. The one closest the entry door was the coat closet. The one nearest the kitchenette was the smallest of the bedrooms; Jo was put in that one. The one next to it was a medium sized bedroom. Both bedrooms had windows and a shared a bathroom. The bathroom had two doors, one leading to each bedroom. It also had a shower stall that had glass that frosted as soon as it was closed. Jo had fun playing with that. Len and Seri moved to take the medium sized bedroom, but Jim insisted they take the master suite. It was bigger and there were two of them.

 

The master suite was huge with a sitting area and a large picture window across from the bed. “Imzadi, is this alright? We can switch with Jim.”

 

“Surprisingly, I’m not having any problems. We are going to your world, and I am anxious to see it. This will be a nice break while we get there. Plus, I’ve never done it in space.” He kissed her passionately. “But I know that will have to wait until tonight.”

 

“It will.” They went back out to the main room. Jim had hung the suit bags in the coat closet and put Jo’s and his bags in their rooms. He had also put the booster seat in the closet. Len grabbed his and Seri’s bags and put them into their room.

 

“Len, you should see our bathroom! Jo, you want to go for a swim in the tub?” Jo ran into the bathroom.

 

“Aunt Seri, can I take a bath tonight?”

 

“Of course, Munchkin. You can do that right after dinner. Right now, do you want to come with me so we can buy some snacks? We have an hour and a half to get them and get back. I saw a shop on our way here.”

 

“Let me tell Daddy.” She told Len what they were doing and came back. “Daddy said not to forget pretzels, tea, and orange juice if they have it.”

 

“Got it. And Uncle Jim will want popcorn and potato chips.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Absolutely, he always gets those things. We can order a couple holo-movies and have a picnic. We’ll order our dinners in our cabin. What do you think?”

 

“It sounds like fun!” They walked quickly to the station store. Seri grabbed everything the men wanted. Jo stayed close to her.

 

“Is there anything you want baby?” She could feel how nervous Jo had become. Two Orions had walked into the store. “They are Orions. We have a few at the Academy. Gaila lives down the hall from me. You don’t have to be worried about them.”

 

“Okay. Can I have some Ice cream?”

 

“Sure, lets go pick out a flavor.” Jo grabbed the peach one. After everything was paid for they hurried back to the ship. Seri wanted to put everything way before the ship left port. She had also bought Jo a stuffed animal that looked like Ollie. Jo was hugging it to her as they almost ran back.

 

When they got back to the cabin the men had evidently found a liquor store and Len had purchased a wine for them and a bottle of McCallan 50 for Mr. Targan. “I also got a bottle of wine for your mother. That is in our room.”

 

“That was sweet. Unnecessary, but sweet.”

 

“Mama taught me a guest never goes to a host’s home empty handed. What all did you get?” He and Jim tore into the bags.

 

“If you are going to disembowel the bags, can you at least put everything away?”

 

“Not a problem Kiddo. Jo, what have you got there?” Jo was curled up in the chair hugging the stuffed animal.

 

“Aunt Seri got him for me. He looks just like Ollie. Uncle Jim there were green people at the station.”

 

Jim stopped unpacking the bags and sat on the ottoman across from Jo. “Did they scare you?”

 

“A little.” Len was listening to the discourse.

 

“What about them scared you?”

 

“They were green, and the man had the woman on a leash.”

 

“Well, humans are different colors. Do they scare you because they are different colors?”

 

“No. It doesn’t matter what color we are. We are all the same.”

 

“Exactly, so does it matter what color other species are?”

 

“I guess it doesn’t, but Uncle Jim he had her on a leash.”

 

“That is different.” Len was wondering where he was going with this. Orion slaves were sex slaves. “On their planet some men own women. We don’t believe this is a good thing. That is why the Federation hasn’t fully brought them in yet.”

 

“Aunt Seri said there are some in the Academy.”

 

“There are. I have classes with a few of them. They are nice.”

 

“Do any of them own someone?”

 

“No baby. They can’t do that and be in the Academy.”

 

“Would he try to take me?”

 

“The one you saw.” She nodded. “I doubt it. Did you stay close to Aunt Seri?”

 

“Yes, and she kept her hand on me the entire time.”

 

“Then you were safe. As long as we are with you, you never have to worry. Jo, you are always safe with us. Now come here.” She got up and climbed into his lap. Jim stood up with her in his arms and sat in the chair with her. He understood how frightening this could all be. Jo had never been off planet and had limited experience with other species. Vulcans were barely noticed anymore, but Orions, that was another story.

 

Len watched Jim as he lightly rocked Jo. “One day he will make a great dad.”

 

“He will. She loves her Uncle. I’m glad we went home with you.”

 

“So am I. I was an ass, wasn’t I?”

 

“Which time?” She tried to look as serious as possible.

 

“Cute. Right before we left the Academy.”

 

“Yes. But you’re my ass, so its okay.” She kissed him on the cheek. The announcement came over the ships communication system telling everyone to sit as they disengaged from the station’s docking port. Len and Seri sat on the couch across from Jim. His chin rested on Jo’s head as she hugged her toy. Seri took Len’s hand. Not long after they felt a mild bump as the docking clamps were release. The window over the kitchenette showed the stars as the ship turned to head out into space. They would be on full impulse the entire trip.

 

“Jim, why don’t we take a look at the Tyler Farm estimates?”

 

“In a few minutes.” He continued to hold Jo. Len wanted to see what his reaction would be. Seri was right. Jim was going to be an amazing father, but he was afraid the kid’s mind was taking trips back to Tarsus IV.

 

_“You not wrong. He is going back to that time. Try to distract him. It will help.”_

“I think the time is set to Betazoid time. What time is it Jim?”

 

“09:00, I’m okay Bones.” It was a lie, but he didn’t want to let go of his niece. He buried his nose in her hair as she cuddled in closer.

 

“Sure. Jim she was safe, you know that?”

 

“I know it. I’ll be alright in a few minutes.”

 

Jo let go of her animal and put her left arm around Jim. Her right arm was pinned against him but she still managed a half hug. “I love you Uncle Jim.”

 

“I love you too Munchkin.” He didn’t want to admit it, but when Jo told him about the Orion slave trader he had felt the anger and fear he felt on Tarsus IV. No one was ever going to hurt this baby.

 

“Jim, I’m going to go over some of the numbers. When you are ready join me. Take your time.” _“Peaches, he needs this time. I know that fear. He doesn’t want her hurt. Kallie magnified the feeling. I’ll talk to him later. Let’s get breakfast ordered.”_

_“Alright. When Jo gets older, I would like to test her empathic abilities. Do you think Joce and Evan would be okay with that?”_

_“They should be, but we’ll ask. Do you really think she has some empathic abilities?”_

_“Do you know any other eight-year-old so in tune with adult feelings?”_

_“I see your point. Right now, I think he needs her more than she needs him.”_

_“He does.”_ “Alright every one, I need you to punch in what you want for breakfast. Don’t send it, just give the PADD to me.”

 

Len punched in his order then handed the PADD to Jim. Jim didn’t notice and Jo took it from her dad. “Uncle Jim, what do you want for breakfast?”

 

“Hmm, oh, just a cup of coffee.”

 

“Mommy would say that isn’t healthy.”

 

“I’m not hungry baby, but you order.” Jo knew not to get down from his lap. She knew he needed her.

 

After she punched in an order, she handed it back to her father. “This is a lot of food baby. We will have lunch later.”

 

That is for me and Uncle Jim. He’ll be hungry later.”

 

Len looked over the order. Jo had ordered fruit and cereal. The milk they would put in the refrigerator until he wanted to eat. Maybe Seri was right, what eight-year-old thinks like that. He handed the PADD to Seri who punched in her order then set it for in cabin delivery.

 

Len sat in front of Jim with the PADD that held all of the Tyler Farm information. He knew if he was in front of the kid Jim would become interested in what he was doing. Seri had gone through the cabin to check on the amenities. She had made sure she got one of the cabins with no water restrictions. There were only four on the transport and she didn’t care what it cost, she needed a hot shower before dealing with her mother.

 

Jake’s punch list was detailed, but none of the upgrades or repairs were outrageous. The stables were in perfect condition, one of the outbuildings would need a new roof in a year, the pole barn needed a new barn door, and the pump station needed some of the siding replaced. The white farm house and the four bungalows needed bathroom updates, but the kitchens were new. The brick house needed he most work. Two of the chimneys needed to be relined and pointed, the kitchen needed a major upgrade as did the bathrooms. The roof was coated two years before so it should be sound.

 

Jim slid Jo off of his lap and joined Len on the couch. “So, what do you think?”

 

“Take a look. I think I can take maybe seventy thousand credits off the asking price and start negotiations from there.”

 

“What if they want to live in one of the small homes. I’m sorry, but I implied it might be an option.”

 

“Then the offer won’t go up much from what my initial one will be. If they don’t stay I’ll go down to forty thousand off. If they stay I’ll go down to no less that fifty-five off. What do you think.”

 

“Let me take a look at the list.” Jim studied Jake’s list and estimates. “Do you want the livestock?”

 

“Rusty aside, what do you think of them?”

 

“First, do you have someone in mind to manage the place. The wrong manager will destroy the stock.”

 

“I want Jake as the general manager, but I was thinking of Louis for the horses.”  Jim looked confused, he never heard of Louis.

 

“Don’t worry, you haven’t met him. He was in the Cotswolds for the summer. He has been wanting to move back, but as a horse man there really was nothing here for him. This would be a great opportunity. He could move back and not feel bad about leaving his employer. They have an estate with only a few horses, and he is a breeder. It has been boring for him.”

 

“Who is his employer?”

 

“Lord Carnarvon. He is a nice man, but they specialize in sheep and grain. Not really Louis’ field.”

 

“I would see if he is interested before you make the offer.”

 

“Good idea.” The door chime went off.

 

Two carts were wheeled into the cabin. “Will there be anything else?”

 

Jim stepped forward and handed the man twenty credits. “No, thank you.” The two men left. “Bet you service will be great the rest of the trip.”

 

“It definitely will.”

 

“Uncle Jim, I ordered this for you. That way when you’re hungry it will be in here.” Jo put the milk in the refrigerator and the cereal on the counter.

 

“Thank you, Munchkin. You take good care of your old Uncle.” She smiled at him as she grabbed her plate of pancakes.

 

They all sat at the kitchenette table. “So, anyone have any questions about Betazed?”

 

“Are there any horses?” Jo was curious about all of it.

 

“Most Betazoids don’t like them because of their erratic emotions. So, they don’t really have them, but we do have dogs. They were brought to the planet with some of the Earthlings who migrated around a hundred years ago. Dad got a couple and now they have eight-week-old puppies.”

 

“Puppies! Do you think your dad will let me play with them?”

 

“I think he will insist on it. He thinks puppies and little girls go together.” _“Len, knowing dad he will most likely give her one. He will only do it if it is okay with you.”_

_“What type of dogs are they?”_

_“Greyhounds. So high energy until they are two.”_

_“I have no problem with it. Joce loves greyhounds. She had them growing up. When we married her parents wouldn’t let her take any of them. It broke her heart.”_

“Kiddo, where are we staying?”

 

“Dad insisted that we stay at the house. We will most likely stay on the east wing. It keeps me away from mother.”

 

“Peaches, is there anything about the wedding I should know?”

 

Seri kicked Jim under the table before he could say anything. “Oops, sorry. Children don’t go to the service, but they always come to the reception. All eyes will be on both of you.”

 

“Because we are off worlders?”

 

“Yes, Betazoid men don’t look like you. They have black eyes, and they aren’t as big…or hairy.”

 

Jim was laughing. “We’re hairy?”

 

“By Betazoid standards, yes. Jo, you will stay at the reception site with the other children. We’ll be there after the ceremony. Would you like to have my old room? It is in the east wing. If dad puts us there I thought you would like it.”

 

“Thank you, Aunt Seri.” She looked genuinely happy with the idea.

 

Len had glanced a Jim a few times. The kid had relaxed enough to have a banana with his coffee. “Hey, why don’t we go to the observation lounge? It is just down the hall. I’m getting better about this space thing.”

 

“And the desensitization might help?”

 

“Something like that Peaches.” _“He needs to know she is safe. I don’t know why the idea of the Orion hit him this hard, but he needs to get past it.”_

 

_“He does. I think Jo is the first child he has loved and felt responsible for since Kallie. It isn’t a bad thing, just something he needs to work past. This trip will help.”_

 

They all walked to the forward observation lounge. There were several different species there, but no Orions.  There were three Vulcans seated at a table in the far corner. They seemed to be engrossed in a deep conversation. “Daddy, did you know Uncle Evan was part Vulcan?”

 

“Yes baby. Who told you?”

 

“I heard him talking to mommy. Is there something wrong with it?”

 

“No, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Why?”

 

“He seemed embarrassed when he told mommy.” Seri was definitely right about Jo. Len couldn’t imagine any other way she could have known that. Evan never showed her anything but love and strength, and simply hearing him say that wouldn’t tell a young child anything about how he felt.

 

“Sometimes people are mean to children of mixed species. It is changing, but when we were your age it happened a lot.”

 

“Do you think they do that on other worlds as well?”

 

“I’m sure they do baby. Sometimes children are very mean.”

 

“I would never let anyone be like that to Phila or Uncle Evan.”

 

“Who is Phila?”

 

“She is my friend at school. She is half Denobian. We have a lot of fun together. Ms. Wring says we giggle too much.”

 

Seri was enjoying the father daughter exchange. Jim had left the group and was staring out the largest window. “Jo, there is no such thing as giggling too much. My mother told me I giggled too much. I didn’t pay attention to her.”

 

“Aunt Seri is Uncle Jim okay. He feels sad.” Seri looked at Len. _“Told you. She takes after your mother.”_

_“She sure as hell doesn’t take after me.”_

_“Yes, she does.”_  “I’m going to join him. I’m sure he is alright, but I’ll check on him for you.” Seri walked next to Jim and put her arm around his waist. “Your niece is worried about you.” He looked down at her. “So am I.”

 

“I’m alright Kiddo.”

 

“Don’t lie to me Jim, not to me. I know everything you are feeling. I want you to look over there.” She pointed to where Len had moved with Jo. He had placed her on top of a long bench in front of the large observation window. He held his arm around her as he pointed out different planets. She was naming all of the types of space bodies they passed. “She is safe. We all are. Let’s go for a walk.”

 

“I know what that means.”

 

“Fine, let’s go back to the cabin and talk. You look like you need to. Jo could feel how upset you were.”

 

“Jo could what?” Jim looked shocked, and a little confused.

 

“We’ll talk about that later. Right now, I want to know what is going on behind those eyes. You know I won’t go where I am not invited, so we are going to have to talk.”

 

He put his arm over her shoulders as she guided him out of the room. Len could feel her and hear what was in her head. He and Jo would stay out until they were done. Jim needed this, but he didn’t need Jo seeing him upset. Jim and Seri walked to the cabin in silence. He had blocked her, but she could feel his fear and sense of failure anyway. It was far too strong to block.

 

The door opened and they slid in. Jim walked to the couch and flopped on the left cushion Seri poured him a glass of orange juice. He needed the boost. She took a seat on the opposite end. She didn’t want him to feel it was a counseling session. “Alright Kiddo, what do you want to know.” Seri could feel his struggle. Jim was fighting for control; control of himself.

 

“Do you understand what brought this on?”

 

“Sure, hearing about the Orions. The way they treat the women, I don’t want Jo around that.”

 

“You know the Orion women use their sexual prowess to manipulate men? Never mind, it doesn’t matter. They weren’t your trigger.”

 

“Yes, they were.”

 

“Really? So, you saw them and you remembered something?”

 

“No.”

 

“You heard they did something that reminded you of a past trauma?”

 

He thought. “No.”

 

“What did you see?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“What did you see that bothered you, that brought you back to your past?”

 

Jim thought about the entire morning. He hadn’t been there. Seri was right, it couldn’t have been the Orions. Jo, it was Jo. He looked scared. “I won’t feel like this every time, will I?”

 

“Every time what?” He was still blocking his thoughts. It had become second nature.

 

“Sorry, it was Jo. Her look of fear. She depended on me to keep her safe.”

 

“Oh. No, you won’t feel like this every time she gets scared. She isn’t Kallie.”

 

“I know that.”

 

“Do you?”

 

The silence that hung between them was deafening. He didn’t want to answer. “I do. Maybe I forgot.”

 

“Jim, you know I never let her out of my sight.”

 

“I know that. Seri, she is the first person who has completely relied on me since Kallie. I know you are going to say you and Len rely on me, but it isn’t the same. She is helpless.”

 

“Just like Kallie?”

 

“Yes, just like Kallie.” He looked into her. “I’m not the same person I was then.”

 

“No, you aren’t. But you are as strong now as you were then. Jim, Jo is safe and she is safe with you. You need to trust that you will always take care of her.”

 

“I know I will always work to keep her safe. I’ll be okay. Seri,”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Thank you. I was stuck.”

 

Seri told Len they could come back when they were ready. It wasn’t long before Jo came running into the room and jumped into Jim’s arms. She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. “It’s alright Uncle Jim. We all take care of each other.” He held her close.

 

“We will always take care of each other Jimmy.”

 

“I know Bones. I just forgot. I was wondering, could we watch one of the holos?”

 

“That sounds great. Jimmy?”

 

“I’m fine Bones.” Len had an incredulous look on his face. “I’m fine. Ok Jo, pick out something.”

 

Jo ran over to the pile and grabbed one of the chips. It was the hollow about the horse that saves the little boy who saved him as a colt. She plugged the chip in and they all settled in. The adults were more fascinated with her reactions then they were with the holo. “Uncle Jimmy, are you hungry yet? You didn’t eat any breakfast.”

 

“I am a little. I’ll get something monkey.” It was a relaxed morning. The afternoon was spent exploring the ship. There was a gym, a store, and a spa. Seri took Jo to the spa so they could get their hair and nails done. Jo was excited to be able to do what grown-ups did. Seri wanted to give the men some time to themselves. They hadn’t had much alone time and it was needed. The two had gone back to the cabin.

 

“Bones, how are you doing? I know how much you love space travel.” It was taking all of his willpower not to laugh at the doctor.

 

“Not bad smartass. I doubt I’ll ever love it, but at least I’m not puking.”

 

“Ever do it in space?” Jim was laughing. It was a childish but funny question.

 

“No, and how old are you?”  Len walked over to the kitchenette. “Should we order lunch? Seri told me she is taking Jo to the observation lounge for lunch.”

 

“Sure, not sure what Betazoid food is like.”

 

“All I know is they don’t have chocolate. Seri brings that up a lot. Jim, do you mind being brought in to help with the farm? If you do please don’t feel you are obligated.”

 

“But I am obligated. We are family, and this is what family does. Obligation isn’t a bad word. I have never been obligated to anything before. Thank you for bringing me in. Now lets order. I want a steak, medium with a baked potato and sour cream.”

 

“Seri would kill you for ordering that. I should stop you, being a doctor and all, but I’ll have the same. Though we are also getting salads.”

 

“Alright doctor.”

 

“Jim, thank you for everything. I couldn’t do all of this without you.”

 

“Yes, you could, but it is nicer this way. The furniture should arrive before we get home.”

 

“It should. I may give some of my furniture to Cal. She always loved my library table.”

 

“You love her a lot, don’t you?”

 

“More than I care to admit. From what I hear it started the day she was born. I never felt like that about Ginny. I don’t know why, but we weren’t close even when we were kids.”

 

“She is different.”  


“That’s a word for it. You know it wasn’t easy, telling her I never wanted to see her again?”

 

“I know.” The order was sent. They sat across from each other at the dining table. “I’m not telepathic and even I could tell how much it cost you. Maybe one day you will see her again.”

 

“I wouldn’t count on it. If she doesn’t change I don’t want to.”

 

“But you’ll always know what and how she is doing.”

 

“Am I that predictable?”

 

“Only to those who know you as well as I do.”

 

“Good. Don’t want the universe to see through me.”

 

“There isn’t much chance of that. I’m glad you got with the little telepath.”

 

“I know you are. Hoping I won’t be as grumpy if I get laid more often?”

 

“Yes, and no. I just want to see you happy. Remember when we first met?”

 

“Vividly.” One eyebrow arched at the thought.

 

“That wasn’t really you, and it wasn’t really me.”

 

“Wasn’t it? Maybe we have just grown up a little.”

 

“Me less than you. Though Jo is helping with that.”

 

“She definitely loves you a lot. Like you, she had me wrapped around her little finger the minute I met her.”

 

“She is you. You know that?” Jim wanted Len to see what every one else did. “Well, before you became grumpy.” Blue eyes twinkled in silent laughter.

 

“She is the best parts of Joce and me. I’m glad Evan is in her life. Jo is going to have the childhood I wanted.”

 

“She will have a father and step-father she can be proud of and look up to, even when she is older.”

 

“And Uncle; if we are going to discuss the men in her life that she can look up to, you need to include yourself.”

 

“And George.”

 

“Absolutely. That little moppet is lucky, isn’t she?” Jim could tell it was a serious question. Len needed to understand that in the grand scheme of things he had made the right choice as far as Jo was concerned.

 

“Extremely lucky. I just pray she never brings home a man anything like us.”

 

“She can’t if I lock her away until she is thirty.” With that the door buzzer went off.

 

“We should enjoy this before they get back. I can feel Seri, they are still at the spa, but you never know. She could feel our joy and it will all be over.”

 

“She knows, she is just allowing us to have this.”

 

They talked about the farm and what they could do with the Tyler property. Jim wanted to also breed cool bloods, maybe Belgians or Clydesdales maybe even Percherons. Len liked the idea but wanted to run it by Louis first. Lou had sent a message saying he would be very interested in the position, but would need a place to live. Len told Jim he was thinking about the yellow farm house on the other side of the cow pasture or expanding the grey bungalow. If he bought it he would talk to Louis’ husband Derek. He would know more about what they needed. They had two boys and boys definitely need room to run and play.

 

Len told Jim about Derek. He was a farmer who specialized cattle. He worked with both cows for milk and for hamburger as Len put it. “I have to talk to him. I always wanted to learn how to milk.”

 

“I know he won’t mind showing you. Knowing Derek, he’ll show you the manual way before he shows you the modern. When they got married, my dad said it wouldn’t last. They have been married over ten years now. The boys are fun, into everything.”

 

“Mama must love it!”

 

“Every single minute.” Lunch continued slowly. Plans for their futures in Starfleet were discussed. According to Jim, Len was going to be the best damn surgeon in the fleet and he was going to be the youngest captain. Neither of them knew how prophetic his jokes would prove to be.

 

Seri and Jo arrived back at the cabin. Jo told her dad all about the Andorian spiced pudding, and how a Vulcan couple showed her how to eat one of their strange looking fruits whose name she couldn’t remember. “Daddy, should I take my bath before or after dinner?”

 

“Normally I would say after, but tonight why don’t you take it before. Leave the doors open so we can hear you.”

 

“Yes, daddy.” Jo grabbed a towel from her room and walked to the master bath. “Aunt Seri, can you order my dinner for me. I like the food you pick.”

 

“Alright baby, but you should be done your bath way before that.”

 

Jo spent almost as much time in the bath as her future stepmom. Finally, she emerged in her pjs with the stars all over them. Jim was seated in the large chair and Seri was lying on the couch with her head on Len’s lap. Jo sat on Jim’s lap and cuddled in, her wet hair leaving a large dark spot that continued to grow. “Turtle, you may want to dry your hair more. I’m sure Uncle Jim doesn’t want to be soaked.”

 

“It’s alright Bones. Baby, let me see your towel.” He dried her hair more, dropped the towel on the floor next to them and pulled her to him again. “See, all better.”

 

Seri had ordered dinner and requested it be delivered at 17:00. They relaxed as Jo told them all about her time at the spa. She may love to chase frogs, but she was still a girly girl as Joce would say. For the first time in a long time everyone was relaxed without the aide of any chemicals. More nights like this would be in their future, at least that was what Len hoped. Dinner time arrived quickly. They ate and watched the second holo, the one about a mermaid who fell in love with a prince but in the end couldn’t live as a human and went to the clouds, though watched over the prince for the rest of his life. Jo understood death from a young age, spending most of her life on a farm had done that. None of it traumatized her thanks to her mother and father.

 

Soon enough it was bedtime for all of them. It had been a long day and the adults were just as tired as the little one. Though Len had some fun in mind before they went to sleep. Jo gave everyone a kiss and started to go to her room. “Jojo, I’ll leave the door to the bathroom open a little in case you need to use it. There is a night light in there.”

 

“Uncle Jim, can you leave yours open a little too? I don’t like sleeping in strange place.”

 

“Neither do I baby. I’ll do that after my shower. If you need me, just wake me up. Jo, call my name until I wake up. That way I won’t jump and accidentally hit you. Sometimes I have bad dreams.”

 

“I understand, sometimes I have bad dreams too. One time a dinosaur was chasing me. I woke up before he got me. Do you have dreams like that?”

 

“Something like that. Good night Bones, Kiddo.” The two went to their rooms and shut their doors.

 

“Alright Peaches, our turn. I want to do something I have never done before.” With that he carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed. “I want to make love as the stars float by.”

 

“Come her Imzadi. I want to feel you.” With that she lifted her arms as he lay on top of her. It was going to be a night both would always remember.


	46. chapter 46

Len couldn’t let go of Cal. If he did she would disappear and reality would hit. He held her closer. “It’s alright Len. I’m here. Let’s go sit.” His grip relaxed enough for her to walk them to the couch.  He sat next to her, almost touching. “Damn, this is better than Jim’s. Whose ass did you kiss?”

 

“No ones, it was Seri’s.” Cal could all but feel Len, he was defeated. Only once before had he been like this.

 

“You should insist on always getting the best cabin.” There was no smile. “Len, I know what happened.”

 

“No baby, you don’t.”

 

His eyes held hers. “Yes, I do. I read the reports. Admiral Cochin thought I should have the reports.”

 

“Things were left out.” To her, her big brother looked like he did that day under their pecan tree.

 

“I know. I know what happened. Trust me, I know all of it.”

 

“Did Jim tell you?”

 

“Lenny…he didn’t have to.” He leaned over and rested his head on her shoulder. She kissed the top of his head the way he did to her when they were growing up.

 

“I don’t want to read the report. Shani said she sent the final report to me.”

 

“Are you afraid you are going to be reprimanded?”

 

“No, the opposite. It will be filled with language like; exceptional presence of mind, strength of character, and strong leadership.”

 

“If it does, would that be so bad?” Her arm draped over his shoulders as her hand slowly rubbed his arm.

 

“Yes. I killed him. If I were better he would be here. I am none of those things. You of all people have to know that.” His tears began to stain her blouse.

 

“I know who you are. You don’t, but I do. You are also a hypocrite. You know that don’t you?” She was hoping anger would be a more productive emotion that self-hatred.

 

It took a matter of seconds for him to push away from her, stand, and loom over her in a pseudo-threatening stance. “What the fuck do you mean? I have been called many things in my life, most of them not repeatable, but never hypocritical.”

 

“How do you feel about Jim? Tell me about his character.” He never intimidated her. Nothing about her big brother would ever scare her, or make her back down when she knew she was right.

 

“It isn’t the same thing.”

 

“What isn’t?”

 

“Kallie.” He took a small step back so he was no longer standing over her.

 

“If it isn’t, then how did you know what I was talking about?” He walked away from her, took off his button-down shirt and dug through the drawers in search of a more comfortable shirt. “Stop stalling.”

 

 

“I hate your degrees. You know that, right?” He pulled out an old ratty shirt that had seen better days at least a decade before.

 

“I am well aware. You say that every time we have a real conversation. You still haven’t answered me.”

 

“No, I haven’t. I hear Seri asked you to be her maid-of-honor.”

 

Cal knew she had to acquiesce to his dismissal. “Alright, I get it. Yes, it will be fun. You know Mama she has already called the caterers and florists. And I did mean those to be plurals. She wants everything perfect for Seri.”

 

He smiled. “I’m an afterthought.” Len sat next to her again. “It’s the way it should be. I want it to be her day.”

 

“I heard the refit will take about a year.”

 

“It will.” She snuggled into his side and pulled her legs up. Len adjusted to make her comfortable.

 

“So…”

 

“Yes, we are going to try to have a child. Can’t you just ask the question?”

 

“I can, but with you it doesn’t usually go well when I do. Have you given any thought to your wedding gift?”

 

“I know exactly what I am giving her. Ever since I found out about the Betazoid tradition, I had this put aside for her.”

 

“Is it the ice?” She looked up into his eyes.

 

“Yes. I can’t believe you still call it that. Do you think she will like it?”

 

“She’ll love it! You know how much she loves winter. Has she ever seen it before?”

 

“Not that I know of. I know she never saw it in person.” He draped his arm around her.

 

“Seri said we need to talk about what happened on Mylus. I thought we could wait until well after the wedding.”

 

His arm tightened around her shoulders. “I do need to talk to you. I want you to understand. I need you to know what happened. I don’t want anyone else to know, not even Mama.”

 

“Joce?”

 

“No, but maybe Rory and Evan. Cal, I don’t want people to look at me differently. I don’t want it to be a case of ‘poor Len, isn’t he doing well for all he went through?’ I can’t spend the rest of my life as...”

 

“An object of pity. I understand. I need to give you a heads up about something.” She could feel his body tense. “Mrs. Chekov wants Pavel to be buried at the farm. She is going to ask you when we get to San Francisco.”

 

“Oh.” His fingers began to dig into her upper arm. It hurt, but Cal wasn’t going to tell him to stop. Bruises would go away.

 

“You can say no. I don’t think it will hurt her. She just wanted him to be with as much of his family as possible. She asked Mama. Mama said it was alright with her, but Mrs. Chekov also wanted to talk to you. I don’t think she wants to hurt you.”

 

“I want him at the farm. He loved the farm; maybe not the cows.” A small chuckle escaped his lips. “I made sure 42 wasn’t sent to slaughter just to mess with him. I think he came to love her. I caught him talking to her one day after Kahn. He told her about what happened to Jim and how he hoped to turn out like him. He did Cal. He was so much like Jim. Maybe that wasn’t always a good thing. I want him back. I just want him back.”

 

Cal shifted to take him into her arms. He needed to let it out. It would take more than a few rough conversations to come to terms with the loss. This was the first time he allowed her to see him like this. She had seen him upset, but never to this extent. Her arms wrapped around her big brother’s shoulders as her right hand caressed the back of his head. The baby sister died in those moments. Never again would she bee seen as the baby. He needed her, trusted her, to not let him fall so far that he couldn’t come back from the pain. “I have you Len. Don’t worry I’m here. You’re safe.”

 

Seri was completely comfortable. When she rested on him, Jim always felt like a comfortable overstuffed chair. “Well that is flattering Kiddo.”

 

“You’re not exactly fluffy, more like worn and comfortable.”

 

“Oh, that is so much better.” He held her closer to him. “We will be leaving the station in a couple of hours. I left word to head back on half impulse.”

 

“Not exactly rushing, are you? Christine left word that they’ll have him ready before we leave. Nyota said Cal will pack up the rest of Pavel’s belongings.”

 

Jim’s grip tightened almost imperceptivity, though Seri noticed the change in pressure. “I’ll help her.”

 

“Are you sure? Cal is more detached. She wasn’t as close to him as we were. She loved him, but he wasn’t a part of her daily life.” Her hand began to gently rub his leg.

 

“I am. He is my responsibility.” Jim was staring straight ahead, as he looked through the far wall.

 

“Alright, but if you need to leave it is okay.” He needed an out if it got to be too much. The Captain needed to understand that no one would think less of him if putting all of the kid’s belonging’s in boxes became too much.

 

“I understand. You packing out tonight?”

 

“No, tomorrow. How long will it take on half impulse?”

 

“About thirty-six hours. Spock can give you the exact time, damn walking calculator. I thought we could all use the time to get ready.”

 

“You mean you and Len could use the time.” She hit a nerve, a nerve she meant to expose.

 

He shifted, uncomfortable in his need to avoid the inevitable. “Yes. I need the time. Mrs. Chekov will be there. I promised years ago that I would keep her son safe. He was all she had. No matter what she says to me I deserve it all. It doesn’t mean I want to hear it.”

 

“Jim, he wasn’t a child anymore. She is worried about you and Len. She doesn’t hate you, only you do that.” Seri sat up to face him. “What will happen when the shuttle lands?”

 

His mind shifted from self-loathing to the formality of the ceremony. “The senior officers will be on the shuttle along with the casket. I went with a casket not a coffin design for the final receptacle. I will lead the pall bears and walk in front of the casket. I decided against the antigravity transport for him. The senior officers, well the men, will be the pall bearers. I want Hikaru and Len in the front. They won’t put it on their shoulders, too much of a height difference. Scotty is a lot shorter than the rest. I just don’t think there are enough of us to do it. We need six. I am still short two people.”

 

“Why not put Nyota and I in the middle. We won’t have to take as much of the weight that way.” Seri wanted to help, to do one last thing for the man she still saw as a kid.

 

“That would work. You heard, his mom wants him buried on the farm?”

 

“I did. Len will want him there. We can add Jake and Rory to the pall bearers when we get there, and you and Rob can do the ceremony. If that is alright? I just thought it would help to include all of the family. Maybe Evan and George could do the readings with Sarah and Hikaru doing the eulogies.”

 

“That sounds perfect. I hadn’t given it much thought. I was scared his mom would want me to plan it all.”

 

“Most likely she will. We can do it the day after we get back home. Should I book a private shuttle?”

 

“I already have. Shit! I have to come up with a schedule for the honor guard to sit with him in the chapel. He won’t be interred until the next day. Damn!”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you with that. There are a lot of people that can do it.”

 

“Thanks. That will still give us time to put together a wedding.”

 

“Maybe we should put that off. It could be seen as being in poor taste.”

 

“Seri, do you think that is what Pavel would want? He would be so excited to see you walk down the aisle. I feel he is with us, and the last thing he would want is for you to put off your happiness. We’ll just have to make him a part of the day.”

 

“I told Len I would leave a seat for him in the front row of the chapel and one at the Enterprise family reception table.”

 

“That would be perfect. Do you know what Len wants to show me when we get home? He said he needed to show me something before I propose to Cal.”

 

“I read his thoughts, so yes. Before you ask, no I won’t tell you. We have to go to Hancock’s when we get back for the wedding rings. You can come with us to do some ring shopping.” She didn’t want him to guess Len’s surprise. “I forgot to ask, do you want a long engagement?”

 

“Are you kidding? It’s been almost ten years already. I was going to ask Rob to do the ceremony. I haven’t told my mom. I really only talk to her on my birthday. I thought I would tell her after the fact.”

 

“You aren’t going to invite her? Won’t she be offended?”

 

“She’ll be more offended if she gets there and realizes I don’t see her as my mother.”

 

“Mama would never take her place, she is a lady. I know Mama, she would take a back seat for the day. She wouldn’t be offended.”

 

“No, Mama and Uncle George get the front seat, not my mother. You remember she only commed to see how I was after Kahn? She asked if she should come home or was I going to be ok. Len doesn’t know I heard that conversation, he thought I was asleep.”

 

“He didn’t tell me. That must have been the day he came home angry. What did he say?”

 

“He told her I would make a full recovery and she didn’t need to inconvenience herself. I don’t know what she said to him, but he informed her my family would take care of me and that she could comm in a week once I was back home. I believe she asked where that was because I heard him ask what kind of mother doesn’t know where her son’s home is? He closed the channel right after that. He never mentioned it and she only commed me once during my recovery.”

 

“I understand that. Believe me my mother and sister won’t be at my wedding either. Do you mind that I want civilian formal dress for the wedding? I hate the dress uniform. Honestly it doesn’t look good on anyone. I thought standard black tie. Anyone who doesn’t have one, we can get it for them. And it will only be the bridal party, guest can wear suits or uniforms.”

 

“No, I would prefer it. It is nice if we are all equal that day. Do you think Sarek will come?”

 

“Knowing Mama, he is already on his way. Why?”

 

“It would be nice to see him. He did save my life after all.” Seri looked confused. She had his thoughts blocked. “That day on the bridge when Spock tried to strangle me.”

 

“Oh that. I had forgotten.”

 

“I hadn’t” He was laughing. “Not something one tends to forget. I don’t ever want to piss him off again.”

 

“I doubt you could. Jim can I steal a pair of shorts and a tee shirt? This outfit looks great on me, which means it is incredibly uncomfortable.”

 

“Sure Kiddo. They are in the top drawer of the dresser. I like how you say steal instead of borrow.”

 

“Couldn’t see the point in lying. What are the chances I am giving them back?” She walked back to his bedroom, left the door open and began to change.

 

“True, thank God for Sarah or I would never see most of my comfortable wardrobe again. Between you and Cal, Len and I would end up without any clothes.”

 

She reentered the room looking a lot more comfortable. “You are exaggerating.”

 

“Only a little. You know it is dress uniforms for the pall bearers and honor guard?”

 

“I know. I hate it, but I do wear it when necessary. I just look like a rectangular grey blob with tits.”

 

Jim thought that was hilarious. “They aren’t that bad.” She was squinting at him. “They aren’t.”

 

“I sent you a basic Betazoid wedding ceremony. I thought we could incorporate some of it in the Earth one. Don’t worry, we will wear clothing. And there won’t be parents crying and begging us not to do it. But I think I want Cal to call for me to come to the altar before I enter the chapel.”

 

“I can take care of that. Maybe have the doors closed after the girls go down, then have them opened as she turns to call for you?”

 

“You should make a career of this. You know if the whole captain thing doesn’t work out.”

 

“Come here Kiddo.” He streched his arms toward her. Seri walked into his embrace as he pulled her down next to him.

 

She snuggled back in. “Those two are going to be awhile if you want to get changed.”

 

“Naw, I’m comfortable. Are you going on a honeymoon?”

 

“We haven’t talked about it, but honestly I just want to stay home. We still have two years minimum away from home. I am over the desire to travel. What about you?”

 

“No where off planet that is for sure. I’ll see what Cal wants. You seem awfully sure she is going to say yes.”

 

“I am. I know we have one day at headquarters. I have all of my personnel requests in. Cal is at the top of the list. I also requested four instead of three counselors. I thought this was the best time for me to take a shot at it. They seem to be more receptive right now. Might have something to do with the faulty intelligence they gave us.”

 

“Most likely. Anyone else you are specifically requesting?”

 

“Just Jenny.” He looked confused. “Jennifer Hendel, Adam’s wife; she is a counseling psychologist.”

 

“No other psychiatrists?”

 

“No, not unless I find someone exceptional. I need psychologists more than I need another psychiatrist.”

 

“Getting territorial?” He needed to gauge if she was jealous of her position. Nothing about her emotions betrayed that feeling.

 

“Not at all. It is just that I can handle and medication issues if we have enough counselors to let me know if there are any concerns that may warrant their use.”

 

“Just had to ask. I wanted to get Cal a special ring, but her favorite color is pink. I don’t want to get her pink topaz or anything like that.”

 

“There are always pink sapphire or pink diamonds.”

 

“I’ll talk to Mr. Hancock.”

 

“Like I said, you can do that when we go for our bands.” Seri blocked her thoughts. She knew what Len had in mind and she didn’t want to spoil it.

 

“She couldn’t have an easy favorite like blue.”

 

“Nope. This is Cal we are talking about. My dad has been hinting about moving off planet. After the divorce he really had no reason to stay. He never gets to see his grandchildren. I hear his partnership with Uncle George and Aunt Celia is working out very well.”

 

“That is what Uncle George said. They have expanded their practice to include Vulcans as well. One day those two may even decide to retire.”

 

“Yeah, some time around the second coming.”

 

“You really are picking up a lot of Len’s sayings.”

 

“They work. I can’t wait to see him. Did you know that Jo calls him every week? He calls her his granddaughter. She is you know. Joce’s parents don’t have anything to do with them so he and George are her grandfathers. As I understand it Evan’s parents want nothing to do with him now that he married an Earthling. I thought we were past that bullshit.”

 

“Not all of us are. Evan is a good guy. I met his father and mother once. They didn’t know who I was; or rather they didn’t know I knew their son. They are nothing like him. David would have liked them.”

 

“Oh. I remember they weren’t at the wedding. I assumed it was because they were too far away. Some days I hate people.”

 

“You and me both Kiddo. I saw how they hurt him, then I had to attend a diplomatic dinner and be nice to them. It was a true test of my acting abilities.”

 

“Where was I during all of this?”

 

“With the Hortas.”

 

“That was a wonderful trip. After Len saved that one they were more than receptive to us. I like them, most are sweet and extremely intelligent.”

 

“You had the better assignment that time.”

 

“I would have loved to meet the Loves.”

 

“That is no longer their name. They have adopted the Vulcan tradition and only use one name.”

 

“That is a bit pretentious.”

 

“It is, but the Vulcans are too polite to say anything. Logically it makes no sense to create tension between them and the Earth’s diplomatic delegation.”

 

“I suppose not. Len and Cal are wrapping things up. You seem calmer now that she is here.”

 

“I am. I need her Seri. I want you all around me, but I need her. I can’t go through another three years like these.”

 

“I know. You want your partner. It is the same for her.”

 

“I don’t think I will feel totally at ease until I have a ring on her finger.”

 

“Which one?”

 

“Both, the first tells me I have a chance, the second tells me she isn’t leaving. I know Cal, murder may be an option, but not divorce.”

 

“You are completely correct about that.”

 

Len and Cal entered the room. “You two look comfortable.” Len flopped into the armchair. “I should have taken this chair with me.”

 

“Too late. You good?”

 

“Yeah.” Jim looked skeptical. “Alright, I will be. But for now, I’m better than expected. Is that better?”

 

“Yes. We need to talk tomorrow. We need to go over what will happen when we land on Earth. I want everyone involved together for this. I thought 11:00.”

 

“That works.” Len looked nervous.

 

“It will be okay. I’ll send out the meeting time and place. Can we meet at your place? It’s bigger and more comfortable.”

 

“Yes.” Jim wanted Len in his own quarters. It would help him to feel as calm as possible under the circumstance. “Good night Cal, Jim.”

 

“Good night you two. See you for breakfast.”

 

Len and Seri went back to their quarters. “Imzadi, it will all be over soon.”

 

“I know. I haven’t been thinking about it till now. I guess I’m a pall bearer.” To Seri he looked like a balloon that was slowly losing its air. “I guess it’s fitting. I put him there.”

 

“Stop it.” Her words were biting and lacked the compassion he had become accustomed to over the years. “You didn’t do any of this, so just fucking stop it.”

 

That was when he realized. He had been an idiot. “I’m sorry. Please Peaches I am so sorry.” Tears were streaking her cheeks as he took her into his arms. The tears she had been holding back had all come crashing down. Her sobs filled the cabin, she mourned for Pavel, ached for Jim, but for Len she broke.

 

To Seri it felt like she was losing him to the despair and self-loathing. Never had she been this tired. Even during the Kahn fiasco, she wasn’t this exhausted. “Don’t say that. I am sorry.” Her words were barely intelligible through the sobs. Len picked her up and carried her to their bed. The bed was soft and safe. “I’ll be alright, I promise.”

 

He moved to the other side of the bed and lay next to her. “Come here baby I have you. I’m here and you are with me.” The fear and exhaustion of the past week had caught up to her. She needed to be cared for. “I have you. Let me take care of you.”

 

“I want him back. I want us all back the way it was. I need this to stop.”

 

“Shhh, I know. I love you. I know it doesn’t help, but I do.” He held her to him as he placed kisses on the top of her head.

 

“It does.” Slowly the sobbing subsided. Len felt her breathing shift as she fell asleep. Carefully he undressed her and placed the covers over her. He knew he had to wake her to change, but he assumed he had at least a couple of hours.

 

Len did the math in his head. Two to three more days and her period would be over. Then they could start to try for a baby. For now, she laid next to him. Her eyes looked puffy from crying but she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. His Peaches, he was a lucky man.

 

Pavel told him many times how lucky he was to have an exquisite lady so in love with him. He was right. The kid wouldn’t want Len to spend the rest of his life remembering him with sadness and regret. Pavel deserved better. It would take a while before he remembered the exuberant Russian without a tinge of sadness. Eventually the hollowness would go away replaced by the warmth of lingering love and peace.

 

Pavel was a force of nature. He changed a room simply by entering it. Len wanted to remember him that way. He wanted to remember the otter who bounced off the walls, and the man who always destroyed him in chess. He was doing the kid a disservice remembering him only as suffering and dead. That wasn’t his legacy. His was a legacy of laughter, joy, and love. That was what the doctor would always remember.

 

Len walked to the dining table and picked up his PADD. The report was there blinking its urgency. He had to read it and either sign to accept or contest its findings. It was as he had expected. Everything he told Cal about was in the report. He also noticed the wording, careful and measured. “It is the findings of this committee that Dr. Leonard H. McCoy acted in the best interest of Lt. Pavel A. Chekov. No further action is required.” That was it. As far as Starfleet was concerned it was over. Len signed under the statement accepting the findings. He sent the signature to the admiralty.  “In the best interest of Lt. Pavel Chekov.” The words played over and over in his mind.

 

“You know you did act in his best interest?”

 

He had been so engrossed in his own thoughts he didn’t feel her wake. “I do, at least I do intellectually. Give me time Peaches. In another day and a half, I’ll help carry him off the shuttle. Then we will take him back to Georgia where I’ll help carry him to that spot under the oak. Closure, it will be closure as much as I can have it.”

 

“He would love to know that he will be under that tree. I remember finding him there hiding from the Collins boys.”

 

“Yeah.” Len was smiling. “He had been with both of their sisters. He learned a valuable lesson that summer.”

 

“He learned that sisters talk to each other.”

 

“And never mess with girls who have over protective brothers twice your size. It took Mama to get them to leave. I think they were afraid of her.”

 

“They were. Most of the county boys were. It was a good life lesson. It served him well over the years.”

 

“It did.”

 

“I have to go to the bathroom. Give me a few minutes. Then you can take a shower.” Seri went to the bathroom, and came back in a few minutes. “All yours. I’ll take mine after yours.”

 

He took a long hot shower and she took another soon after. During the shower she could feel the ship pull away from the docking station. Sulu was taking care of that and Riley was to relieve him shortly after. Jim wanted the senior crew as rested as possible when they got to Earth. They all had to pack out and ready for the refit. They also had to come to terms with what the next few days would hold.

 

Cal crawled into bed with Jim. He was staring at the ceiling. “You know I’m not Seri, you need to tell me what is on your mind.” She was sitting up with the covers over her legs. Her hand rubbed his chest as she leaned over him, a soft kiss placed on his forehead.

 

“I feel guilty.”

 

“Okay, that was unexpected. About what?”

 

“I am happy. I shouldn’t be, but I am.” Cal scooted down to lie next to him and he turned toward her, his head propped on his hand. “I have wanted this moment ever since we left Earth after Kahn. I envision it before I sleep, and I dream about it most nights. Now you’re here and I feel guilty.”

 

“You know it is possible to feel happy about this and still mourn Pavel?”

 

“Is it?”

 

“Definitely.” She kissed his lips then ran her fingers gently around his hairline. “You’ll mourn him for a while, but that doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy other things in your life. Do you think he would want you to spend the next year or more feeling nothing but loss and pain?”

 

“God Cal, no. He loved to laugh. I think that is what I miss the most, his laugh. When we were in the dorm together, do you remember how you could hear his laugh through the walls? The first time he got drunk and the first time he got baked were both Bones’ fault. I got him laid the first time. All three times he begged us not to tell his mom. We never would have told her, neither your brother nor I wanted to die. Funny the first time he got laid was with the Orion twins. I thought that would be a memorable first time. How many guys get a threesome for their first time? Do you remember them, Marta and Sheba? They knew he was a virgin when I left them alone with him. God how old was he? Was he even sixteen? I think he was.”

 

Cal let Jim talk. He told her about all of the fun times they had together. He told her about how they met Jayla. He had led them into one of her traps right after he told the kid he had a nose for danger. How Len taught Pavel to ride a horse. They used Red and he thought the horse was too tall, but after that trip Chekov would go to the stables right after saying hello to Mama, Sarah, and George. Red was his friend. Then there was 42. Len refused to send her to slaughter because he loved the way Pavel complained about the cow, but would tell her all of his problems. Jim doubted the cow would die of anything but old age the way Len had the farm workers and vet take care of her.

 

Pavel got to watch one of the breeding mares foal. He was fascinated by the process, and by how quickly the foal was able to stand. Jo stood next to him, she must have been about ten, and told him everything that was going on. After that he told everyone he saw about that night.

 

Jim and Len both taught him how to ride a motorcycle their second summer on the farm. He wanted to use the Harley but Len wouldn’t let him. It took a couple years before he could take the Indian town. He had Pavel help him restore it so the kid would appreciate the bike. After their commissioning he gave it to a very proud ensign. It became one of Chekov’s most prized possessions.

 

The green room was always Pavel’s. He loved the private bath. Jim told Cal about how he would always have his mother come to the farm so they could all be together. The Chekovs were always their guests for Christmas. She realized that Jim had forgotten she was around for all of this. He told her all of his stories, temporarily filling his emptiness. Some time during his tales of mischief she felt the ship disengage from the mooring clamps. They were headed home.


	47. chapter 47

Len had turned Seri around so her head was at the foot of the bed. He made love to her as he watched the stars zip past their window. His fingers skimmed across her lips. Her hands danced lightly up and down his back. “I still have a hard time believing you are here.”

 

“Does this help?” She ran her tongue over his finger before she took it into her mouth, sucking lightly.

 

“A little. This might help.” With that he entered her, slowly, gently.

 

“I love you too Imzadi.” She contracted her walls, his soft moan told her how much he liked it.

 

He began to move in and out of her at a slow pace. He wanted it to last as long as possible. Her hands ran through his hair, he nails lightly scratched at the beard he had started. “Do you like it?”

 

“I do. It will feel great between my legs.” He growled as he brushed his whiskers into the crook of her neck. He pulled out and began to kiss from her neck to between her breasts.

 

“God you always taste so good.” He kept going until he was lying between her legs. “So, you think this will feel great. When I get done, you will have a brush burn. Every time your legs rub together, you’ll remember this night.”

 

Seri was mewing as he began to lick up her folds. “Remember you can’t make noise.”

 

“I know. Hand me a pillow.” He reached back and gave her a pillow. Immediately his mouth was back on her center. He sucked her clit hard as he rubbed his chin against the rest of her. He inserted one then two fingers making sure to hit her spot. Seri’s feet were digging into the mattress as she grabbed at his hair. Suddenly she could feel her orgasm building. Len could feel her walls tighten. He buried his nose closer as he continued to suck her into oblivion.

 

Seri put the pillow over her face to muffle the scream she couldn’t control. Her legs tightened around Len’s torso. It took a few minutes for her to come completely down. When she did she threw the pillow onto the bed. She could see the stars as they shown in his black eyes. He didn’t look smug, he looked hungry. “How does that feel?”

 

“Turn over. No, put your head at the top of the bed.” He laid down as he was told and put a pillow under his head. Seri climbed on top of him, but faced the window. She put one leg on either side of him and scooted back until she was sitting on his chest. She leaned forward and took his dripping cock into her mouth. Len’s head fell back as he steadied himself. When he raised his head, he could see her opening, pink and perfect he wanted to taste her.

 

He pulled her hips back a little until he could easily reach all of her. She never took him out of her mouth. The saltiness of the precum had her hotter than she thought she would be. Her moan vibrated off his dick. He buried his face in her folds as he tongue fucked her.  He wanted her to cum with his tongue in her.

 

She managed to take all of him into her. This angle allowed her to get all of his cock into her mouth and throat. Saliva ran down the sides of his thighs. She wanted him to cum down her throat. They both pushed at each other, him sucking and massaging her clit, her sucking his dick while her tongue moved slowly from side to side. As he plunged his tongue further in she began to mover her mouth up and down his shaft, careful not to hit the back of her throat. She was moaning every time her nose buried itself in the hair near his balls. He felt her throat as it tightened each time he accidentally thrusted.

 

“You need to stop, I’m going to cum.” He was growling trying not to thrust down her throat.

 

“I want you to. Make me cum Len. I need to cum.” With that she took him all the way into her throat. He plunged back into her. She tasted like every fantasy he had ever had. Better than anything he had ever imagined. Suddenly she screamed. His cock muffled her scream, but she gushed over his tongue and face. She couldn’t hold back she pushed him further down her throat. That coupled with the taste of her orgasm was more than he could handle. He moaned loudly as he came down her throat. Seri let him finish, he didn’t realize that his hand had tangled into her hair pushing her down and into his groin.

 

When he was coherent he realized what he had done. “Oh God Seri, I am sorry. Are you okay?”

 

She swallowed hard, slid off of him, and smiled. “I’m fine, but I’m not done. Len, I need to cum again, can you help with that?”

 

He pulled her to him. “Hold onto me.” She dug her nails into his upper arms as he inserted two fingers. He hit her g-spot over and over until she had to bury her head in his chest or risk making too much noise. When she thought she was done, he knew she wasn’t. He got her off three more times in quick succession until she was a limp noodle who could barely move. “Is that better baby?”

 

“Mmmhm. I love you Len.”

 

“I love you too baby. We do need to get cleaned up before we go to sleep.”

 

“I can’t stand up.”

 

“That isn’t a problem.”  Len went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. It had a seat in it almost as big as their one at home. He gently picked her up as she put her arms around his neck. The seat felt cool against her labia. It was soothing. Her lips were swollen and his dick was a bright pink color. “We are going to pay for this for a couple of days. But that reminded me why 69 is my favorite number.”

 

Seri loved his smirk. “Mine too. I still can’t stand up. My legs are shaking.”

 

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” He quickly washed both of them, even her hair. After he turned off the shower, toweled off, dried her, and carried her back to bed.

 

“Now you can say you’ve done it in space.” Her eyes sparkled.

 

“We both look thoroughly fucked. Did you ever do it in space?”

 

“No, just tonight. I liked when you were in me. I could see the stars in your eyes.”

 

“Something to try on our way back.”

 

Seri cuddled into his chest. It was the safest place in the universe. “You were a good daddy today. Joanna is one very lucky girl. It is important for a girl to look up to her daddy, and to feel loved by him. You make her feel safe and loved. She is proud to be your daughter.”

 

“I hope so. I never thought I could love anyone the way I love her. She was only two hours old and asleep in my arms when I realized my life had changed. I needed to better for her. I haven’t always succeeded, but I am trying.”

 

“You are doing a good job. That little girl feels unconditional love from you. That is all she needs. The rest will fall into place.”

 

“It will work out, I am almost certain. You know me, I’ll never be completely certain. Evan is a good guy. He won’t turn her against me.”

 

“Oh God no! He won’t do that. He feels at home. Sometimes his thoughts break through my barrier when he touches me. I think it is the Vulcan in him. For the first time in his life he feels like he belongs. You are responsible for that. If you had been jealous, he would stay to himself and never become part of the family.”

 

“Why would I be jealous? Joce and I don’t want each other anymore. Why wouldn’t I want her to be happy?”

 

“A very mature way of looking at things. Many people can’t do that.”

 

“It doesn’t help anyone if we continue to hate each other. I told her we fucked up our marriage, let’s not fuck up our divorce.”

 

“You are both doing well. I like them both. I think Joce and I will always be close.”

 

“Thank you for not being jealous.”

 

“The perk of being Betazoid. I know how you both really feel about each other. I don’t have to worry that you are both still in love.” Slowly they both fell asleep. The door was locked so they wouldn’t have to worry about Jo jumping on them in the morning.

 

Jim took a long hot shower. It had been a long day. Nothing had prepared him for the paternal feelings he had toward Jo. She wrapped him around her finger the first time she ran up the stairs with him. He knew that he would get past the fear of her being hurt. If he became overprotective she would end up resenting him.

 

After he dried off and threw on a tee shirt and shorts he left the bathroom door to her room cracked. “Night light on.” He left the door to his room cracked as well. He wanted her to feel free to get him if she had a bad dream.

 

Jim crawled into bed. It was comfortable, but he had become use to having Cal in bed with him. He laid on his back and watched the stars go by. One day he would see this every night. He knew he wanted to work on a starship. One day he hoped to captain his own ship. He joked about it, but he really did see himself as a captain. Hopefully Len will want to come with him, but more likely he will stay on Earth and Jim will only see him over the PADD or on vacation at the farm.

 

Jim fell into a light sleep. He had no idea that this was how most parents slept. It was a few hours before he heard a little voice calling for Uncle Jim. “Hey munchkin. What’s wrong?”

 

“I had a bad dream. There was a dinosaur in a space ship and he was chasing us.” She was hugging her horse to her as tightly as possible.

 

“Do you want me to sit with you until you fall asleep?”

 

She shook her head. “Can I stay with you? You’ll keep me safe, just like Daddy does.”

 

He moved the covers back. “Alright Munchkin, come here.” She slowly crawled into the bed. “You can go to sleep. I promise, no dinosaur is going to get you.” She turned to face him. Jim pushed her hair out of her eyes. “Jo, we’ll never let anyone hurt you.”

 

“I know Uncle Jim. Thank you for letting me sleep here.”

 

“Go to sleep baby.” He watched her close her eyes. It wasn’t long before she fell into a deep sleep and her mouth opened slightly. She was a china doll. A precious baby who he would risk anything for. He finally understood Bones’ feelings when they had first met.

 

Jim lay awake thinking about how drastically his life had changed since Pike found him bleeding in that bar. He had nothing then, was a part of nothing. Pike thought the Academy would give him a sense of belonging. It had, but not the way that shuttle ride to San Francisco did. Bones gave him an anchor. No matter how hard the classes became, or how much he railed against being George Kirk’s son, Bones was always there. Finally, he had a brother, the brother he had wished Charlie had been.

 

And Seriana, God, what had he done to deserve her. After his thoughts in that class she should never have trusted him. But she did, and now she was his sister. The sister who let him get away with nothing. The sister who hauled his wet, drunk, ass to his room after a particularly bad verbal fight with his step-father. The sister who held him through his nightmares and never asked questions.

 

Cal, where did she fit in. He loved her, he was sure of it. She accepted him for who he was, all of who he was. Why was he so scared of commitment? Maybe because he knew they were too young. Maybe because with her he wanted it to be forever. Maybe because he knew that at this time he wasn’t worthy of her.

 

Finally, there was Jo, his little niece. She brought a light to his life that had been missing. She needed him, trusted him. Without being told, Jim knew she would spend her childhood looking up to him. He needed to become the kind of man worthy of that. He needed to become more responsible. He never felt like this before. Even with Kallie he didn’t feel this protective. He knew it was because now he was an adult. She was a baby that needed him to keep her safe and loved.

 

All of this was because he got on that shuttle and sat in that seat. What if he hadn’t taken the dare? What if he sat in a different seat? He closed his eyes. They were scenarios he didn’t want to think about. He was finally starting to like his life. He was a part of a real family. They all loved him for who he was, and none of them gave a damn that he was George Kirk’s son. There would be other friendships, he knew that; but none of them would ever come before this family, his family.

 

Jim fell into a sound sleep. Whether it was the realization that he belonged somewhere in the universe, or the tiny snores of his little niece he couldn’t be sure; but that night he had no nightmares only dreams of the farm, and family. James Tiberius Kirk was finally home.

 

Len and Seri had a restful night. Len woke first; he doubted he would get use to the stars flying by the window. Slowly he rolled out of bed. Seri was sleeping so peacefully he didn’t want to wake her. After he went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth he left to check on Jo.

 

Her room was dark, but Len could tell she wasn’t in her bed. He walked back into the sitting area. “Lights twenty percent.” She wasn’t in the den. A mild panic started to build. Quietly he opened Jim’s door. He stood in the doorway. Jim was asleep on his back. Jo had draped herself across his chest, her stuffed horse next to her. His right arm held her in place as his hand rested on her back. The little one had drooled on her uncle’s shirt, though Len doubted Jim would care. Jim kept her safe. Len smiled as he closed the door and went to the kitchen to make the coffee and see what teas were available.

 

It wasn’t long before Seri came out of their room, rubbing her eyes. Len punched in the code for a cup of jasmine tea. “Morning Sunshine. Here Peaches.” He handed her the cup of tea.

 

“Good morning. You’re up early.”

 

“I couldn’t sleep anymore. You want to see something sweet?”

 

“Sure.” She followed him to Jim’s door. The two of them asleep with Jo using Jim as a pillow was the cutest thing Seri had seen in a while. She stood smiling at the sight, before she carefully closed the door. “She really has him wrapped, doesn’t she?”

 

“She does. I feel bad for her boyfriends. Between Evan, Jim, and me she may not have any.”

 

“Don’t worry, Joce and I will keep you three in line.” They sat on the couch and pulled the transport’s schedule up on the PADD. They would be docking at Betazed’s orbiting station at 14:00. The shuttle would then take them to the shuttle station on the planet.

 

“We made good time.”

 

“No meteor showers.” Seri sipped her tea as she looked at him over the rim.

 

“Smartass. What time is it?”

 

“07:15, why?”

 

“Just wondering. I hear those two waking up. Jim and I should go to the gym. He could use it after yesterday.”

 

“It might not be a bad idea. Jo and I will be here. I figure you won’t be too long.”

 

“No, I just want him to get moving.”

 

“Can we have the wine with lunch. I may need it.”

 

“Your mother?” He could tell she was concerned.

 

“She has left more than a few messages on my PADD. I’ve chosen to ignore them.”

 

“You think she knows about the bank?” Seri looked surprised. “Baby, remember I can read all of your thoughts, especially when your guard is down.”

 

“I know. She is going to be pissed. Dad won’t care, but she will.”

 

“Why? It’s none of her business.”

 

“She thinks my life is her business. I’ve been living in a dream these last months, but now I have to face her and my sister.”

 

“If at anytime you want to leave, just tell me. We’ll go whenever you want.”

 

“I want to see Dad. I miss him so much. I wish he lived closer to Earth. I guess it doesn’t matter. With school and then work I’ll be busy. Won’t I?” To Len she looked like a lost little girl looking for reassurance.

 

“You will, but if you really want to see him, we can make it work. Maybe we can meet on a planet in between Earth and Betazed?”

 

“That might work. Or maybe he could come visit. He has a lot in common with Uncle George. Mother hates to go off planet, so that is a plus. She doesn’t think anywhere is as good as Betazed. She is a speciesest, and a snob.”

 

“Don’t worry baby, I have a thick skin.”

 

“I know. Dad is nothing like that, but then with who he is he never had an inferiority complex. That is what it is with Mother and Celiasa. They both have massive inferiority complexes that manifest themselves in those ways.”

 

“Now you sound like Mama. Seri, it is going to be alright. I don’t care what they think of us. Chances are we won’t care for them either. If you don’t care about someone, their opinion doesn’t matter.”

 

“I need you to know something so you don’t accidentally say something that will offend her. I know you don’t want to do that.”

 

“Not accidentally.” He grinned at her. “Alright?”

 

“She is the head of the Targan family, but the house and the money, they are Dad’s. Theirs was an arranged marriage. It is still somewhat common to have arranged marriages, though it is thankfully dying out. Dad’s family wanted the prestige of being linked to Mother’s family, and her family like access to his family’s money. He is an only child, so when his parents died he got everything. Mother acts as though it is hers, but it is his. Trust me he has it all locked up in trusts and corporations. What was in my account was nothing compared to what is in the trusts. Most of what was in the account was what I had earned. What was in the box, that is different. Those were the things my father had put there for me. That was why I wanted them. They were pieces of my and my family’s past. I didn’t want my mother to get rid of them out of spite. When she finds out we are getting married she will get vindictive.”

 

“You don’t know that.”

 

“Yes, Len, I do. You’ll like my dad and my cousins. Just watch out for my mother and sister.”

 

“Gottcha. Morning you two.” Jim and Joanna half stumbled into the den.

 

“Sorry I overslept.” Jim looked completely disheveled. His hair was sticking up and his shirt had a big wet spot on the front.

 

“No, you didn’t kid, this is a vacation. You get up when you get up. Why don’t we order breakfast, then you both can get cleaned up and dressed? Seri and I both need to get dressed. We should all be ready by the time the food gets here.” Jim and Jo both turned around and headed to their rooms. “Sometimes I wonder if those two aren’t blood related.” He called after them. “Aren’t you going to order your food?” They both turned around and went to the PADD on the table.

 

With the food ordered everyone went to their rooms to get ready for the day. Seri would have Jo help her pack up after lunch. They were all back in the main room by the time breakfast arrived. Jo was excited by the planet shaped French toast. Len and Jim ate in silence as Seri red messages on her PADD while she ate. “Okay guys, my dad insisted on meeting us, so he will be there. Jo, you’re going to love him, he is really funny and he loves horses.”

 

“He does! I can’t wait to meet him. Daddy, do you think there will be any children there?”

 

“I don’t know baby.”

 

“Jo, there are a lot of children around your age. And if I know my dad, he has already told them about you.”

 

“Kiddo, when we get there I’ll get the luggage. That way you and Len can get the carry-ons and Jo.”

 

“That works. I’m sure Kenakin will help you.”

 

“Who is that?”

 

“Dad’s driver. He is a big Canogian. You’ll like him. His family lives in our guest house.”

 

“Great another place I’ll get lost in.”

 

“I’m sure Jo will make sure you don’t get lost.” Seri smiled at the little girl.

 

“Don’t worry Uncle Jim, I won’t let you get lost.”

 

“Jo, my dad is excited to meet you. He said tomorrow you and he can go to the museum in town. He said we are invited to go with them if we want.”

 

“Aunt Seri, what is in the museum?”

 

“Everything that tells about our society. It is huge, but I think he will take you to the rooms that have things like the hats that aristocratic women use to ware. They are different.”

 

“In what way?”

 

“They have little cages on them that held birds. It was cruel and we don’t do that anymore. But we have things like that in there. They also have artifacts from the five families.”

 

“Are you one of those families?” Jo looked serious.

 

“Yes. My mother is the head. After her, my sister will be the head. She is older than me and the oldest daughter is always the head of the family.”

 

“Was it always like that?”

 

“Yes baby, it is what they call a matriarchal society. Though that is mostly just ceremonial now. Men and women are equal. My dad is an attorney like Uncle George.”

 

“What does your mom do?”

 

“She doesn’t have a job.”

 

“Oh.” Jo sounded confused. “Does she have any children?”

 

“Just grown ones.”

 

“Okay.” Now she sounded even more confused.

 

“It’s alright baby. I understand your confusion. We should be getting to the docking station by 14:00. It won’t take long to get to the planet after that. According to dad he has my room set up just for you.”

 

“Yay!”

 

“Okay you two. Jo and I have to go to get things ready to go. Why don’t you both go to the gym later?” Jim needed this, exercise and time with Bones.

 

“Jim, did you bring shorts?” Len had extra if he needed them.

 

“Just what I slept in.”

 

“That should work. We can get a workout in before lunch if we leave by 11:00.”

 

The rest of the morning was spent relaxing. Jo colored one of the books Joce had packed, Len went over the detailed pictures of the Tyler farm, Seri began to read her mother’s damning messages, and Jim sat back watching them all. Jim was enjoying this more than he thought he would.

 

Seri blocked her thoughts and most of her feelings from everyone. She was seething by the time she finished the messages. Evidently the bank had contacted her mother to tell her the account and the box had been emptied. Her mother had also been told that everything was gone and she could not retrieve any of it. Seri smiled at the thought of her mother being told that she could not get her hands on the things Seri had moved. Her mother demanded Seri tell her the account in which the money had been placed. She also demanded that her name be placed on the account and on the new deposit box. None of that was ever going to happen.

 

_“Peaches, are you alright. I know you are trying to block your thoughts, but you aren’t doing a particularly good job.”_

_“I am just angry. At least Jim can’t hear me.”_

_“No, he can’t and I doubt either of them can feel you. I can’t believe she said those things.”_

_“I can. At least you know I wasn’t exaggerating.”_

 

Len stopped looking at the pictures and walked over to Seri. He kissed her on the top of the head. “I didn’t think you were, but I hoped you were. No matter what I am always there for you. Please don’t forget that.”

 

She looked up at him. “I never do.” He bent down and kissed her lips.

 

11:00 came swiftly. Len and Jim left for the gym as Seri and Jo went through the bedrooms and packed up for their trip. The men were back by noon. Lunch was ordered, and Len opened the wine to breathe.

 

Len and Jim went to their rooms to shower. Seri was getting the table ready for lunch and didn’t notice Jo go into her bedroom. Len was showering when Jo entered the bathroom. “Daddy, Aunt Seri doesn’t seem happy about seeing her mommy.”

 

Len jumped. Their shower door didn’t frost. He made sure he didn’t act like there was anything wrong with Jo coming in. He never wanted her to be embarrassed or think that nudity was bad. He and Joce had talked about this over the past year. When she was a baby and a toddler it didn’t matter, but she was getting older and they all wanted to be on the same page.

 

Evan was vigilant about not letting her walk in on him. It was his choice; he wasn’t comfortable with a little girl who wasn’t biologically his, seeing him naked. Len could appreciate that, he felt the same way. He and Joce had agreed that it should be treated as a non-issue if Jo walked in on him. For her part, Jo didn’t seem to even notice he was naked. “Jo, you should knock.”

 

“Sorry daddy. But she doesn’t seem happy.” She climbed onto the vanity where she perched kicking her legs.

Len finished washing as quickly as possible. “Her mommy isn’t like yours. But she is happy to see her daddy. Turtle, stop kicking the vanity.” The water was turned off, he quickly dried himself and wrapped the towel around his waist.

 

She had stopped kicking. “I wish she was happy about seeing her. I can’t wait to meet her daddy.”

 

“Neither can I. He doesn’t know that we are engaged, so don’t tell him. We want to tell him first. For now, it is a secret.” Len finished dressing and combed his hair.

 

“Alright Daddy. I can’t wait to see Aunt Seri’s home. I get to sleep in her room!”

 

“I know.” Len picked her up and turned around with her in his arms. He kissed her cheek as they went back into the den. “Missing anything?”

 

Seri looked up from the refrigerator. “No, but maybe I should have been. Jo and I have everything packed. Did you pack the ditty bag again?”

 

“Yes. Jo, after your uncle comes out can you make sure he packed his ditty bag?”

 

“Yes daddy.” She looked like she understood that Jim probably would forget things.

 

Lunch arrived. Seri went over basic Betazoid manners and customs. Jim and Jo kept looking at each other as if to say “you must be kidding”. Jo even giggled when Seri told them that the men were supposed to bow to her mother the first time they met her. It was due to the fact that she was a daughter of the third house. “Don’t worry, the other ladies don’t expect that, only her. It is a completely antiquated custom.  Jo, you’ll stay with the children at the reception hall while we are at the ceremony. Dad said that Don’s girls will look after you. He is my cousin Lawnia’s husband. You’ll like them. You will sit with us at the reception.”

 

“Alright Aunt Seri.”

 

“The wedding is in two days. Tomorrow we are with dad, then the next day is the ceremony. He is setting up a dinner for us in the garden. Don’t worry guys, there will be some Earth food there as well.”

 

Jim grabbed the suitcases as Len cleaned up from lunch. Seri pulled the sheets from the beds. It was nice to leave the room as easy to clean up as possible.

 

It wasn’t long before the lights flashed and the passengers were told to take their seats for the docking. Jim sat in the chair, Jo climbed into his lap, and Seri and Len sat on the couch. After they docked groups of cabins were called by number. They vacated the transport in the order the rooms were laid out starting with the ones farthest from the door. Jo grabbed her seat and stuffed horse, Seri grabbed the carry-ons, Len and Jim took the luggage and garment bags.

 

It was a short walk to the shuttle where their luggage was checked. Seri and Jo walked ahead of the men. Seri handed her small PADD to the attendant who directed the group to take their seats. Seri found a row of four seats. Jo sat closest to the window, Len sat next to her, then came Seri and Jim. “Kiddo, don’t worry I got the bag and water just in case.”

 

“Thanks, I had forgotten.” Len grabbed her hand as the lights flashed. “I’m here.”

 

“Thank God.”

 

“You’re a lot better than you use to be.”

 

“Thanks, it is just a much smaller shuttle.”

 

“Look out the window. That is Betazed. We will be there in about an hour. You’ve got this Imzadi.”

 

He kissed her. She was his anchor, his Imzadi. He could see her ring as it flashed in the light of the shuttle. She had said yes. Even space didn’t seem as frightening now that she was a part of him. The takeoff and flight were completely uneventful. They landed on a pad in the middle of what appeared to be a garden. Once they disembarked Len could tell many of the plants were replicas of local flora.

 

They were getting their luggage from the turnstile when a large orange man tried to take the largest bag from Len. “I’m sorry sir that is mine.”

 

Seri came running up to the man. “Kenakin! I missed you.” He hugged her as he picked her up.

 

“Seriana! It is good to see you. Your father is with the craft so they don’t ask us to move.”

 

“This is Len and this is Jim.” The men shook hands. “And this is Joanna.” Joanna looked all the way up at Kenakin. Her head was almost completely bend backward.

 

“Hello Miss Joanna. I have heard a lot about you.” He extended his hand and gently shook hers. They grabbed their luggage as Jo hung on to her seat and horse. The party followed Kenakin to the craft.

 

“DAD!!!!” Seri dropped her bag and ran into the older man’s arms.

 

“Welcome home baby.”


	48. chapter 48

Cal woke up early. She was on Earth time; the ship was on Starfleet time. For the first time in years Caroline McCoy woke well rested and relaxed. It would be a difficult day, she didn’t delude herself about what the day would hold; but for now, she was in bed with the man she loved. Jim shifted in his sleep as she took the PADD from the nightstand. She needed to know where Pavel’s cabin was. She could get his code from Nyota if she was up. If not, maybe she could con someone in medical to open it for her.

 

It was one floor down, almost directly below them. Cal left a note for Jim on his PADD, kissed him on the forehead, grabbed her clothes and went into the bathroom. The night before she noticed that there were two doors in the bathroom, one to the bedroom and one to the living room. She closed both of them making sure the light didn’t wake Jim. After she got ready for the day she left through the door to the living room.

 

Nyota wasn’t awake, so Cal went to medical. Joseph smiled as soon as she walked through the door. They had spent time together after Kahn. Cal liked the calm physician. He was the perfect complement to her brother. “God Cal, how the hell have you been?” He gave her a big hug.

 

“Not bad. I’m hitching a ride to Earth. How are you doing? How is Manaia?”

 

“She is terrific. I’m going straight to New Zealand as soon as we are done at headquarters. She wants a quick wedding, but we are going to Georgia for Len and Seri’s first. We aren’t having a wedding like that, just us and an officiate.”

 

“You should ask Jim. He could do it.”

 

“Only on the ship.”

 

“Well…. he is actually a minister as well. That is my Aunt Doris’s fault I think. Anyway, it’s a thought. I have a favor to ask.”

 

“Anything for the woman that exasperates Len.” He was smiling down at her.

 

“Can you let me into Pavel’s cabin? Nyota began packing his belongings and I said I would help when I got on board. If I can get it done before they show up I think it would help.”

 

“They?”

 

“Nyota and Jim, you know him.”

 

Joe whispered. “Yes, I do.” He walked to the door. “Follow me. I can’t be gone for long, but you have a couple of hours before they wake up. Thanks Cal. Jim needs to deal with this, but not now.”

 

“I am trying to help him hold it together until we get home. After that, then we can sort out his emotions.”

 

“Good luck with that. There is a reason I did not got into psychiatry.”

 

She laughed as they got into the turbo lift. Pavel’s cabin wasn’t far from the lift. M’Benga punched in to code and Cal stepped in. “Lights 100%. Thanks Joe. It’s alright, I can do this.”

 

“Thank you. I don’t think I am ready for this yet. The autopsy was more than enough for me.”

 

“I’m sure. I read the reports, including Seri’s.” He looked surprised. “The admiral sent them to me. She knows Seri will need help. One counselor isn’t enough to handle a crew this size.”

 

“No, it isn’t. I know Len is putting in for two more surgeons and six more nurses after the refit. We got the word that families will most likely be included. We are also adding a pediatrician if that happens.”

 

“It will be needed. From the buzz at headquarters I think it is going to happen. They don’t want to lose this crew.”

 

“They will if families can’t come. Manaia will want to come on if they’ll take her. If they don’t then I am resigning. Cal, she is the only thing I would leave this family for.”

 

“I understand that. I hope I can come on. Anyway, for now, I can do this. I’ll get it all done in less than an hour.”

 

“I’ll see you later. I’m joining the senior crew on the shuttle to Earth.”

 

“Can I leave with you. I know there’ll be press there, and I hate the crowd.”

 

“Not a problem.” Joseph left as Cal looked around the room.

 

Almost everything was packed. There were still some clothes and nick knacks to pack then she would be done. As she placed the brick-a-brack into the empty boxes she saw the small silver eagle statue she had given him his first Christmas in Georgia. He had kept it with him, it had survived Krall. Tears escaped her eyes as she continued to carefully place his things into the boxes for his mother. It struck Cal that there was something wrong with being able to fit a man’s life into ten boxes. Pavel was too big a personality to be contained in black composite boxes.

 

She continued to cry to herself as she made a detailed inspection of the room. Nothing had been left. All of the boxes were marked with his mother’s name and address. Cal looked out of the window as the stars slowly moved past. She had known Pavel, loved Pavel, she even had mourned Pavel, but she hadn’t expected his death to hit her this hard. They spoke once a month, but she hadn’t seen him in years. His Enterprise family saw him every day. They had to be feeling a deeper grief than her.

 

Without warning two large hands came from behind her to grasp her waist. She turned and buried her face into his chest. “I’m sorry Jim. I don’t know why I’m this upset.”

 

“Because you loved him. The price of love is pain, but it is a price worth paying.”

 

Her sniffles subsided. “Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it.”

 

“It is Honey, it definitely is.” He would stay with her until maintenance came to move the boxes into the cargo shuttle.

 

Jim had woken shortly after Cal had left. He had turned to an empty pillow. The PADD told him she would be in Pavel’s room. It also told him of the new itinerary mandated by Starfleet. The time after his shower was used to pack out and put her things in her suitcases. Like Len and Seri, he was having his belongings sent to the farm. Jim had his dress uniform ready and his suitcases open to put what he was wearing in it after he dressed for the flight to headquarters. He threw on his uniform’s dress pants, shoes, and a white tee shirt.

 

Jim knew Cal wanted to help, he also knew it would hurt her. Maybe not as much as it would him, but it would hurt. He didn’t lie to himself, walking into Pavel’s naked room hit him in the gut. Only seeing Cal standing there, her back to him, shaking with grief brought him out of his emptiness. She needed him and he needed to take care of her. Soon enough they would all sit in Len’s room to await the shuttle, but for now it was just the two of them. A partnership that Jim prayed would last longer than their lifetimes.

 

Len woke before Seri. He hadn’t slept well. His heart rate was elevated and he felt shaky. All he wanted to do was get through the day without breaking down. The light was flashing on his PADD. After he went to the bathroom and cleaned up, Len answered the lights. There was a message from the admiralty. Lieutenant Pavel Chekov would lie in state at the Starfleet Pavilion Rotunda. People were invited to pay their respects from 12:00 until 06:00. At that time the family would be invited to the rotunda to take him to the shuttle for his trip home.

 

Len knew that the line would continue throughout the night. He would have to be there for the opening and closing ceremonies, but he doubted he could handle the rest. Seri had some meetings to attend and Jim needed to talk to the admiralty about personnel restructure. Mama, Jo, and Cal would be attending to Mrs. Chekov. Knowing them they would make sure she was always taken care of.

 

He needed some time to himself. Time to walk the familiar streets and remember exactly who he was. As he looked at the schedule of events and meetings he realized he may have a couple of hours to himself in the afternoon. He wanted, no needed, to see Jo; but he also needed the alone time. He would have a year with her. The year wouldn’t make up for all of the lost time, but it would have to do.

 

He got coffee and began to pack. He would need a casual outfit for today after they completed their official duties. No reason to walk around advertising who he was. He had found over the years that if he wore civilian dress and wore his hair in a casual style, people didn’t usually recognize him. Unfortunately for Jim and Spock, it wasn’t that easy. Jim needed a beard, and there was nothing Spock had ever been able to do to blend in. Seri and he had decided to only take one carry-on and one garment bag. They would put the rest in boxes. According to what he was reading, the boxes should arrive the day they got home. Being a senior member of the flagship crew did have its perks.

 

He opened Mama’s message. She said they had been given a five bedroom cottage to stay in. Len was happy they would be staying on Academy grounds. The press wasn’t allowed on grounds unless it was for press conferences or events. He knew they would be there when the shuttle doors opened and at the opening and closing ceremonies under the rotunda. The schedule had Jim meeting with the press right before his meeting with the admiralty. Len didn’t envy the kid. He made a mental note to pack one of the bourbon bottles in the carryon.

 

The boxes had been delivered the day before. Quietly Len began to pack. It was amazing how two lives could be so easily contained in just a few boxes. By the time he heard Seri wake up he had the living room completely packed. She came out rubbing her eyes. He stood in his boxers looking at her. Even half asleep she was gorgeous, but then he was biased. “Wow, you’ve been busy.”

 

“I couldn’t sleep. Did I wake you?”

 

“No. It’s nine already. How did you sleep?”

 

“Not well. I just need to get though the opening ceremony.”

 

“The what?” Len handed her the PADD. Seri read the itinerary. They would arrive at headquarters at noon. So much for Jim’s meeting, they would have to talk on the shuttle. Then there would be meetings and the opening ceremony. She would have a full day until sometime around five. “Mama says we have a place to stay. We’ll have to get up early tomorrow. Then we will go directly to the shuttle. I’ll make sure the luggage is sent. There should be some cadets to help.”

 

Len sat in the big chair. “There will be. They go on leave in three days.” He was quietly looking out the window. He could see Earth in the distance. “You are leaving things out.”

 

“You can do this. We will all be with you. Tomorrow we will be home.”

 

“The next day we will bury him.”

 

Seri stood in front of him. “Yes. Len, then we lay him under the oak tree.” She held her hands out to him. “But for now, we need to pack the rest of our things. I’ll be back in a minute.”  She went into the bathroom as Len went to the bedroom with a few boxes.

 

He had all of his drawers emptied in no time. The pictures were put in between the shirts. Seri came in and grabbed her clothes and his uniforms. They all fit into the largest box. She was careful to leave out their dress uniforms and her outfit for the day. Tampons were thrown into a purse along with lipstick and two handkerchiefs. This was all she would need to get through the day. Their coats were put in the garment bags along with jeans, a button-down shirt for Len, the outfit she had picked, and robes. The rest would fit in the carry-on. Seri went through the rooms one last time as Len stacked the boxes in the living room. They dressed in silence. Neither needed to discuss what they knew the other was thinking. The door chime sounded.

 

Jim and Cal walked in. No one said a word. They sat in the living room waiting for the signal that they were docking. The four sat there in pained silence. It wasn’t long before Hikaru, Spock, Nyota, and Scotty joined them. To Seri the grey of the uniforms was appropriate, it matched their mood. They just needed to get through the day. Finally, Jim spoke.

 

“While we have a few minutes I just wanted to go over the order the pall bearers will be in. Bones will be on the front left and Sulu will be on the right, Seri will be behind Len and Scotty behind her. Nyota you will be behind Sulu, and Spock you will be behind her. I will walk in front, Joseph and Cal will walk behind. He is meeting us on the shuttle. We will exit the craft in that order. His family will be there with members of the admiralty and unfortunately the press. I will greet them. Don’t look at anyone, only look straight ahead. After you will carry him outside where he will be put in a hearse and we will be in a vehicle that follows directly behind his family. When we get to the pavilion, I want Len and Spock in the front, they can lift the most. The rest of you will be in relatively the same order you were before. All that is happening is Spock and Hikaru are switching places. We will walk in and he will be placed on a platform. At that time, we will step back and the casket will be opened. In accordance with an old Russian tradition there will a holy cloth laid across his forehead. His mother will go up first, after which each of us will then go up to say goodbye. If you want you may kiss the cloth on his forehead, but that is a personal choice and certainly not mandatory. After this time, the public is invited to pay their respects. Are there any questions.”

 

Jim had rattled off the itinerary in a cold and methodical manner, it was the only way he was able to get through it. Cal kept an eye on him, he was doing his best not to lose control. Seri had taken Len’s hand, it was cold and clammy. He wrapped his fingers around hers. Sulu answered for the group. “No Captain, I think we all have it.”

 

“The closing ceremonies will be at 06:00 the next morning, after which we will take him to the hearse then to the shuttle. The shuttle will take all of us back to Georgia for the interment. His family and any of your family members that are joining us can come on that transport. It will take off at 08:00.”

 

“I’ll let Ben know. He already packed for Demora and him.”

 

“Jayla will leave with us.”

 

“Good, we’ll all be there. The interment is only for family. Friends can come later if they want. All of this was at his mother’s request.” Jim had been flipping a small PADD around on his lap as he spoke. He tossed it onto the table in front of him. “It’s all in there.” The group looked at the rectangular devise as if it was an executioner’s axe.

 

It wasn’t long before the chime was sounded and the group headed to the shuttle bay. The Enterprise was docking at the orbiting station, but they were taking the shuttle immediately to Earth.  Christine and Joseph met them at the shuttle; they would load the casket as soon as the crew was in. Christine was coming with them. Jim turned to her. “When we land, I need you to walk behind the casket with Joe and Cal.”

 

“Yes Captain.” They entered the shuttle. Jim and Sulu took the pilot and copilot seats, the rest of the entourage filed in and took any seat, though Len sat between Seri and Cal. Joe and Christine pushed the casket in and secured it for the journey before sitting down and buckling in.

 

Len’s eyes never left the large black box. He took in every detail. Jim had picked the perfect casket, even the smallest detail was seen to. The casket was a deep black, so deep Len swore he could see through the layers. On the top was a Russian orthodox cross carved into the top half, under that was the Starfleet insignia with the command symbol in the middle with his name and dates below. The handles were silver to match the engraving. The corners were also silver with the Starfleet symbol on one side and the cross on the other. Every detail perfect; they would be, Jim would stand for nothing less.

 

There was a Federation flag folded on the shelf. It would be placed on the casket before they left the shuttle. While he was lying in state it would be folded over the bottom; only the top half would be opened. When he was interred they would fold that flag and Jim would hand it to his mother. Len ran over all of this in his head. As he did his hand tightened its grip on Seri. Finally, she moved her fingers, jostling him from his thoughts. “Sorry Peaches.”

 

“I’m fine. Len, we are here, all of us. We all need each other. Together we can do this.”

 

I know. He shifted his attention to Jim and Sulu. Earth loomed in front of them; growing bigger with every minute. It wasn’t long before Jim signaled that they were cleared to land. Cal took Len’s hand. “It’s alright sis. I’m alright.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

He looked down at her. She looked scared. “Cal, it will be alright. You will simply be a part of the entourage. Trust me, all of the focus will be on Jim, Mrs. Chekov, and the casket.”

 

“And you.”

 

“Probably. This won’t take long. Just look straight ahead and follow us. Joseph and Christine will stay with you. When we get to the rotunda stay with them. We’ll get you after the ceremony is done.”

 

“Alright. I have never done anything like this.”

 

“I have. They didn’t know who I was then.”

 

“They do now.”

 

“Unfortunately. Please be there for Jim. He will have a press conference and then he is meeting with the admiralty. You can stay with him for the conference but not for the meeting.”

 

“I’ll wait outside the room for him. Don’t worry big brother, I’ve got him.”

 

“I won’t. I just need some time to decompress.”

 

“Not a problem.” With that the shuttle landed on the pad outside the pavilion. A canopy was wheeled to the back of the shuttle as the group got into their positions. Seri went to hand the flag to Jim, but Len took it from her. Both he and the captain opened it and draped it carefully over the casket. Sulu pushed a button and the seats that had held several of the crew sunk into the floor as the side seats pulled into the walls. The casket was turned to face the back of the shuttle and the pall bearers each took their spots.

 

Jim walked to the front and faced the group. His family, the pride he felt mixed with the sorrow, and if he were honest the fear, that he felt. “Lift.” The casket was lifted from its cart as Joseph pulled the cart back to the pilot seats. Quickly he, Cal, and Christine filed in behind the casket blocking the cart from the view of cameras. Jim’s eyes connected with every person there. “Ready?”

 

Their agreement was acknowledged with a head nods. They were all in perfect unison as if they had done this a hundred times. Jim turned to face the back of the shuttle. With a quick motion the button was pushed and the door rose. The light that poured into the shuttle was blinding. The crowd was eerily quiet. All that could be heard was the rustle of flags and the whispers of the correspondents.

 

Jim stepped down the ramp that had descended from the shuttle. The group followed a few feet behind him. He didn’t look anywhere accept at Mrs. Chekov. He felt her eyes look through him to her son. Her son that was coming home to her in a box. Her son who would never have a family of his own. Her son who would never hug her again. Her son who would not be there as she aged. Her son who would not be there as she died.

 

Jim walked straight to her. He waited for whatever would come; screaming, crying, a slap. It didn’t matter he would take whatever she did. He deserved all of it. Ekaterina Chekov took a step towards the captain. A beautiful small woman with straight salt and pepper hair and bright green eyes, Pavel’s eyes. Jim continued to brace himself. She took his hand and kissed it then brought him into a hug. “Thank you, thank you for bringing my son home.” Jim held her willing himself not to breakdown. He couldn’t, not here.

 

“Mrs. Chekov, you have all of our condolences and gratitude.” It was the standard response, not what he wanted to say, but the press would never get to hear that. That was for later, that was for the family only. He whispered into her ear. “We love you and we loved him.”

 

She whispered. “I know. I love you.” With that she stepped back to Mama and Uncle George. They didn’t tell Len or Seri, but Mr. Targan was on Earth he had taken George’s place at the trial. Len needed his father there. Len looked for Jo but he didn’t see her. His heart rate increased before he saw her jumping up and down toward the back of the crowd. He would be with her after the ceremony.

 

The group placed the casket in the hearse as Mama, George and Mrs. Chekov were loaded into a car. While the crew started to walk to their car they could hear a commotion in the crowd. Jim turned to them. “Len get every one into the car, I’ll only be a minute.” Len made sure everyone got in, but he waited for Jim who was walking toward the ruckus.

 

“Yes, I am supposed to be there. Let me go!” Jim could hear the screaming as he approached. “I am the family. No, I can’t find the pin.” Jim couldn’t hear security over the high-pitched indignation of the person being detained. “My father is there. Get your hands off of me. Uncle Jim!” Jim walked through the rest of the crowd. All eyes were on the captain of the Enterprise, but his were on the teenager causing the fuss.

 

She broke free of security and ran into her uncle’s arms before they could get to her. “It had to be you. Come on Jojo. Don’t worry guys, I have this. Miss McCoy is sorry for causing any trouble, aren’t you?” He gave her his best stern look.

 

“Yes. I’m sorry.” He looked in her eyes. “I am Uncle Jim.” She turned back to security. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Oaky. Let’s go.” They walked to the car. “Where is your pin?”

 

“I don’t know. I couldn’t find it.”

 

“Alright. Stay with Mama and George. Honestly you are…”

 

“Just like you sometimes. That is according to mom.” Jim looked at her, she was more like him than he cared to admit.

 

As they approached the car Len and Jo saw each other. He came around to meet her as she ran into his arms. His cover fell off; Jim pick it up. He could hear the crowd and was sure there would be pictures of this reunion all over the media by the night, though he doubted Len cared. He had his little girl in his arms. “I hate to say this guys, but we have to get going.”

 

The father and daughter separated but continued to look at each other. Len guided her into the car and followed directly behind, Jo sat next to her father with her arm wrapped in his. “I love you daddy.”

 

“I love you too Turtle. More than you know. When we get there, you need to stay with grandma.”

 

“I will daddy.” She smiled at everyone but wouldn’t let go of her father. Seri was happy they were together. Len needed this.

 

It wasn’t long before the cortege pulled up to the pavilion. The cadets lined both sides of the walk and up the stairs. Jim looked at the group before they got out of the car. “Remember what I said about your order getting him out of the hearse. Forget it. I want Len and Spock at the back to take most of the weight. I forgot about the damn steps.”

 

In unison they answered. “Yes Captain.”

 

Quietly they exited the vehicle. Jo went to Lena and the rest of the group went to Pavel. The back door was opened and the casket slid out. Again, Jim led the way as he was carefully carried up the stairs. The men took most of the weight, but it was still hard for Seri and Nyota, though they made it look easy. Pavel’s family followed close behind. There was an antique caisson in the middle of the rotund. Flowers surrounded the base except for the steps that led up the back, and the side.

 

Carefully Scotty and Sulu walked up the stairs and hoisted the casket onto the back. They joined the ladies to help them lift and push, finally Len and Spock pushed it the rest of the way until it was resting perfectly square. They stood next to the casket as the funeral director came in, folded the flag down, opened the top, and cranked the lever he carried until Pavel was up enough to be seen. The director then placed the long rectangular cloth on his forehead and respectfully stepped back.

 

He walked down to Mrs. Chekov and told her she was free to come up and see him if she wanted. She stood, Lena on her left and George on her right. George took her arm as they walked up the steps to the side of the casket. Len could hear her crying as she kissed her son goodbye. She was saying something to him in Russian, and though he didn’t understand the language he sure as hell understood the tone. She was dying inside as she looked at the corpse in front of her.

 

Len turned to look at his daughter, so young and full of life. Pavel was like that when they first met. He knew that to Mrs. Chekov, Pavel was still that boy. Now he would always be that, her little boy, forever young. Jo looked at her father, their eyes locked. She could feel him, but she couldn’t understand all she was feeling. All she knew was she wanted to make it all better for him, to take the pain away.

 

As the crying became slightly louder, George began to whisper in her ear as Lena rubbed her back. Slowly they helped her back to her seat. Spock looked to the back of the rotunda, the cadets were lined up to process past the casket. Dignitaries had taken their seats, and the press was in the upstairs gallery looking down on the play beneath them. To them it was theater, Spock knew that. They didn’t care about anyone there, only about getting their story. He turned to see the director as he talked to the Captain.

 

Jim walked in front of them with his back to the crowd. “We are to say our goodbyes then join the family. There will be eulogies from pompous assholes who don’t know any of us, but there will also be one from Shani. That will be the first one. The choir will sing How Great Thou Art, then we will follow the family out. It shouldn’t take more than an hour. Len, I want you to sit with Jo. I’ll go first.”

 

Jim climbed the steps. It felt like he was climbing a sleep hill. He looked down at his friend. Damn he looked like he was asleep. They had done amazing job on the station. “I guess this is it kid. I hate that everyone is looking at us. Not like the time I carried you out of Finnigan’s bar. No one gave a damn then. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of your mom. She will never want for love or anything else. I am so proud of you, I always have been. I hope you don’t mind if we talk from time to time, but I will need your advice. I’ll also keep an eye on Jo. Don’t want her to end up with a man like me. I’m asking Cal to marry me. Don’t try to talk her out of it. I love you, I always will. I hope you know that. Goodbye kid.” He leaned over and kissed the cloth on the kid’s forehead before he pinned his medal for valor on Pavel’s chest. Jim took one last long look before he turned and descended the stairs.

 

Each member of the Enterprise family came up to say their goodbyes. There were tears and promises. Finally, there was Len. He was the last in line. Seri was in his head. She would hold him together in front of the crowd. _“Don’t worry Imzadi, I will be with you.”_

_“Thank you. Please don’t leave.”_ Slowly he climbed the stairs. He looked at the boy in the casket. “I guess we said goodbye in medical. I’m so sorry Pavel. This should be me, though I doubt you see it that way. We are going to have you rest under the oak tree. You know the one you always went to sit under. I’ll have Red there I promise. I won’t ever forget you. I’ll be talking to you a lot. Seri wants kids. I’ll need your help with them. Please don’t ever leave me. I love you Pavel.” With that he bent and gave the kid a kiss on the forehead.

 

Len carefully walked down the stairs. He held his shoulders back and stared straight ahead until he took his seat next to Jo. He hadn’t had the chance to talk to Ekaterina. What was he going to say to her? He couldn’t tell her what really happened, he couldn’t have her live with that image. Shani came to the podium and began to speak. Len heard words like extreme valor and strength, but he heard little else. They watched the speakers as if they were attending to their every word. Silently Jo slipped her arm into her father’s. She put her head on his shoulder as if to say I am here with you dad, I always will be.

 

 

The choir began to sing. It was an old hymn, one that Len’s grandmother had sung often. It was sung at her funeral. Now he could hear the crescendo as the sound all but lifted the roof off of the building. A tear rolled down his cheek as he willed himself not to cry. Silently Jo reached up and brushed it away. Seri was still with him. She wouldn’t leave until he told her he was okay and she believed him. He silently thanked God for the strong women in his life.

 

As the song ended, Ekaterina, Lena, and George were led to the aisle and out of the hall. The entourage followed them and climbed into the two vehicles to be taken to their cottages. Spock, Nyota, Sulu, and Scotty were in the cottage next to Mrs. Chekov and Lena’s. It kept every one together. Ben would join them that night. Demora was in school and she wouldn’t be done until later in the day. The vehicles pulled up to the cottages and the parties got out. They entered their respective homes in complete silence.

 

Once inside Ekaterina turned to Len. She walked to him and brought her hand up to cup his cheek. “I’m sorry Leonard. He loved you so very much.” With that Seri took a step back, both physically and mentally. She led Jo into the kitchen as Len began to shake.

 

“I’m so sorry. I, I...” With that she embraced him as he cried desperately into her shoulder. “I loved him so much. I’m so sorry. It should be me, not him.” He didn’t want to cry, he didn’t want her to comfort him, not her. She should hate him. But she didn’t, she still loved him. He couldn’t control it. She held him until his tears ran out, until he couldn’t stand anymore.

 

Ekaterina led him to the couch. “I know Len. He loved you as much as you loved him. I love you too. We have each other. No matter what, we will always have each other. That was his gift to us.”

 

“I promised him we will always be there for you. You are part of our family, you know that don’t you?”

 

“I do.” Tears flowed down her cheeks as he held her. He would keep her safe. She would never be alone. They sat on the couch as she cried for her son, for the hole that his death left, for the future they could have had. Eventually she calmed. He continued to rub her arm until she sat up. “I need to get changed. I love you Leonard.”

 

“I love you too.” He moved slowly into the kitchen. All of the women in his life were there. They turned to look at him. Seri, so concerned, but knowing he could handle this. Mama, hurting for her baby. Cal, wanting to take the pain away. Jo, always Jo; wanting to help but felling lost the way any teenager does. She needed dad, but she wanted to care for him as well. “I need to go for a walk.” They looked concerned. “I’ll be fine. I just need some time to take a deep breath and clear my head. I’ll be back in time for dinner.” He grabbed his and Seri’s bags and headed to one of the bedrooms. Seri followed.

 

“Baby, I have a meeting in half an hour. Do you need me to cancel?”

 

Len closed the door and walked over to her. His hand cupped her cheek as his fingers moved back to tangle in her hair. He tilted her face to his and brought his lips down. His kiss was gentle and slow. He entered her soul as he ran his tongue between her lips. She opened for him as she brought her arms up to allow her fingers to run through his hair. After a few minutes they parted. “No, I think I need some time alone. I’m just going to our coffee house. You can join me when you’re done.”

 

“It may be a few of hours.”

 

“I know. Just let me know if you don’t want me to wait.”

 

“Alright, but you let me know if you need me.”

 

“I always need you.”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

“Alright.” He changed into his jeans and button-down shirt, threw on boots and went to the kitchen. He gave each of the ladies a kiss and George a hug before he headed out. Jim was in his room getting ready for the press conference. It would be a long day for the captain of the flag ship.

 

San Francisco was having one of its few sunny days in December. Len walked through the town remembering how it looked almost a decade before. A few people stared at him, most likely realizing who he was. Without much thought he ended up at his favorite shop in the city. The smells were the same as when he brought his future wife here all those years ago. The deep coffee smell hung heavy in the air as he ordered a cup of the house blend and seated himself in a far tucked away corner that he and Seri used to call their spot.

 

People came and went as the lunch hours turned into predinner time. He studied his mug wondering exactly how he got to this place. As he turned the mug in his hands he smelled it. A faint smell of Jasmine mixed with light rose. In all these years it hadn’t changed. He could feel the eyes looking at him. Len didn’t look up from his mug. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

 

“Since when did you care about me?” She looked at him, eyes flashing, but softer than he remembered. “Tell me Ginny, when did you ever give a damn?”


	49. chapter 49

Jazined Targan was a handsome, though not very tall man. Len noticed immediately how his presence commanded the loading dock. To say he was impressive was an understatement. His white hair was styled to show his place in society, short but not too short, classic no matter what world he was on. His clothing did not betray from what planet he hailed, only his deep black eyes gave that away. He held a quiet confidence that managed to intimidate both Len and Jim, though they were sure he did not mean to do so.

 

Len understood what influenced Seri as she grew, why she had a quiet strength. Her father taught her to be the strong independent woman she was. One day he would have to thank Mr. Targan for that. One day hopefully Len prayed he would prove to her father that her choice was worthy of a woman as magnificent as the one he had raised. Len helped Jim and Kenakin load the craft. Joanna stayed close to them, looking a little lost in the new surroundings.

 

Jazined hugged his daughter to him as if he was afraid she would disappear. “How is my girl?”

 

“You don’t have to talk dad. Len and Jim don’t mind.”

 

“Young lady I have better manners than that.” He would only talk to her telepathically after the men were more comfortable.

 

“I’m doing well. Let me introduce you. This is Jim.”

 

Jim extended his hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you Mr. Targan. Seri talks about you all the time.”

 

“It is a pleasure Jim. You do like to be called Jim?”

 

“I do. James is too formal.”

 

“You may call me Jazined.” Jim looked uncomfortable. “Or not, it’s alright.”

 

“It just doesn’t seem right. If it is alright, may I stick with Mr. Targan for now?”

 

The older man was smiling. “It is, for now.”

 

“Dad, this is Len.”

 

Len stepped forward and extended his hand. Jazined eyed him up and down before a smile took over his face. He took Len’s hand. “So, you are the man my baby is in love with.”

 

“Yes sir. I hope to be worthy of that love.” Len had never been this nervous in his life. Emory was nothing compared to this.

 

“Hmmmm. We’ll see.”

 

“Dad stop it.” Seri was laughing. “I know you have been waiting to do this for years, but it isn’t funny.”

 

“Then why are you laughing princess. And who is this lovely young lady?”

 

Jo came around from behind her father. “Dad this is Joanna. She is a princess just like me.”

 

He extended his hand to Jo. “Why hello there, Miss Joanna. Seriana has told me a lot about you as well. It seems you and I have something in common. I love horses too.”

 

Jo beamed. “You do?! I love to ride. I love all animals, but horses and dogs are my favorite.”

 

“Mine too. If your dad says its alright, maybe we could go for a ride while you’re here.” Jo looked at her dad.

 

“If you are good then yes.”

 

“Joanna, I have a surprise for you. I rented this craft just for you. Put your seat in the boot and come here.”

 

“Boot?”

 

“I’m sorry I believe you call it the trunk.”

 

Jo placed her seat in the trunk but kept her stuffed horse. She kept an eye on her father as she followed Mr. Targan to the middle door of the limousine. “It’s alright Turtle.”

 

She stepped in front of the older man to see in the craft. He pushed a button and the middle seat unfolded to reveal a child’s seat with restraints. Her blue eyes sparkled as she jumped into the seat and started to buckle in. “I guess that is our cue. Jim, you and I are in the seats in the back row. Len, Seriana, you are on either side of Joanna. Is that alright?”

 

“Dad, that is perfect.” Seri could tell that her dad was getting a feel for the other men in her life.

 

“Seriana, I needed to tell you, your mother and sister won’t be home until right before the wedding. Something about redecorating your sister’s living room.”

 

“Because that is so much more important than seeing your daughter that lives light years away.” Her dad looked at her. “Sorry. It is actually okay. We have tomorrow together.”

 

“And tonight. I have the garden set up for dinner. Tachin is a great cook gentlemen. You’ll love her food.”

 

“Guys, she is Kenakin’s wife. She is an amazing cook! She is also very funny. You’ll like her.”

 

The ride to the house took a little over an hour. They laughed the entire way there. Jazined told Jo about the puppies and how Seri’s old room was cleaned and set up just for her. She was to consider it her room. Jo looked up at her father, eyes smiling. This was an adventure she would remember the rest of her life.

 

Kenakin turned into a long winding drive. It led to a house that could best be described as grand. It was a too formal for Jim’s taste, but Seri’s dad that was different. He made Jim feel at home. There was something about him, maybe the fact that his daughter looked a lot like him, that appealed to Jim.

 

Len was still nervous. He needed to talk to her dad. Her dad, the man she adored, the man he knew she rated all other men by, the man whose daughter he was taking away. Seri took his hand. _“Don’t worry Imzadi, he likes you. I can feel it. Jo has him in her little pocket already.”_

_“But I am sleeping with his daughter.”_

_“You might not want to mention that fact.”_ She smiled up at Len. Len still couldn’t see what others saw in him. Seri knew if he could he wouldn’t worry. Kenakin opened the limo doors. The gang piled out. Jim and Len helped with the bags as Jo took Mr. Targan’s hand. They walked up the wide stairs to the front portico.

 

Jazined could feel the tension in both men. He wanted to play with Len a little, but he could make Jim feel at home. “Don’t worry Jim, no one really uses this door. We all use the side and back doors. I never liked this one, but my wife does. This was my family’s house for generations, but frankly it was never my style. Let me show you to your rooms.”

 

They walked up a grand stone staircase that led into a long gallery. The far end the gallery broke into two wings. Mr. Targan turned left, leading them down a long corridor. “Dad, are you putting Len and I together.”

 

“Of course. You’re adults. Besides, I’m not a prude like your mother. Anyway, Jim you are in here.”

 

The door opened to a room about the same size as his one back home. It was a single room with a rather large bath. The woodwork was painted white and the bed had a white net canopy. “Thank you, sir. This is wonderful.”

 

“If you go through that door there is a private balcony that looks toward the city. You can see the lights at night. Come here Joanna, you are next to Mr. Kirk.”

 

He opened her door. It was a princess room. The posts on the canopy bed were carved to look like castle turrets, and the ceiling was painted to look like the sky. Len and Seri were behind her, but Jim was still in his room. “UNCLE JIM! You have to see this!”

 

Jim came running in. “Munchkin, you scared me. Wow! This really is a room for a princess. It explains some things about Aunt Seri.”

 

“Watch it.” Seri tried to look irritated, but it didn’t work.

 

“Joanna, everything in here is yours. If your dad says it’s alright you can take anything you want back with you.” Jo walked around the room, running her hands over everything.

 

“Really?”

 

“Of course. That way you will always have something from here with you. I know your Aunt won’t mind. Will you princess?”

 

“No dad. She is the princess now.”

 

He moved closer to his daughter. _“She reminds me so much of you at that age. I can see why you love her. You and Len are bonded? Was it on purpose?”_

_“No, it just happened as they say organically. He is my equal. Of course, mother will hate him.”_

_“You leave her to me. We don’t speak much, but she does know when I mean business. I’m glad you’re home baby. Let’s get you and Len settled in.”_ “Len, your room is across the hall. I thought you two could use the privacy. It overlooks the back yard.”

 

Len followed behind the father and daughter. The bedroom had double doors that opened into the largest bedroom he had ever seen. “Holy shi…sorry.”

 

Jazined couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ve said much worse. This room is a bit of a playground.  They rooms are set up so you cannot hear what goes on in them unless you put your ear to the door.” Len was turning pink.

 

_“Dad, stop it.”_

_“Princess let me have some fun. I couldn’t play with your sister’s husband. He was always too weak. It was like kicking a puppy. Now Len, that’s different. I can see he and I becoming close. Unless he hurts you on purpose, then I’ll eviscerate him.”_

_“Father!”_

_“Later on, I need to talk to you. There is a reason your mother isn’t here.”_

_“I assumed it was more than me bringing human’s around. We can talk after dinner. These three should get to know the house and grounds. I’ll get them a map.”_

_“Wouldn’t it be more fun to watch those two get lost? I believe the little one will have no problem finding her way.”_ They were laughing in unison. “Alright, who would like to go meet some puppies?”

 

Jo came running from across the hall. “Me, me, me!!!!!”

 

“Then we should go. They are in the back sunroom.” Jo took her dad’s hand as they went down one of the back staircases. Jim liked it, it was a lot like the one back home that led to the kitchen. It emptied into a hallway that was more of an atrium. They followed Mr. Targan to a backroom. As the doorway opened puppy barks could be heard.

 

Jo walked in first and was attacked by ten greyhound puppies of various colors. They were jumping on her and licking her all over. She was squealing and giggling as the adults pulled the fluff balls off of her. “I love puppies!”

 

“I know you do Turtle. I think they like you too.”

 

“Joanna, why don’t you sit on the floor over here and let them come to you. Their mother’s name is Cordelia.” He looked at Len. “I’m a Shakespeare fan. If they get too rough, just move to the couch. You can bring one at a time up with you. They are too small to be able to get up there by themselves.”

 

Jo sat on the floor. The puppies came over and began to smell her. One grey one slowly came to her hand. “Jo, you have a friend.”

 

“He is the sweetest of the litter. He is big, but his siblings bully him anyway. He’s a very rare color.”

 

Jim was watching the scene on the floor. “I always found it funny that blue was the rarest color considering it looks grey and they are called greyhounds. Jo, I think he loves you.”

 

Jo had picked up the puppy and was snuggling him in her lap. “He just needs someone to love him best, that’s all Uncle Jim.”

 

Jazined looked at Len. “You know your daughter is an empath, don’t you?”

 

Len looked startled. “Seri thought it might be a possibility, but she was going to have her tested when she gets older.”

 

“Trust me, she is. You can have her tested to see how strong she is, but I can tell you she picks up on feelings; humans more than animals. I could tell from the time I picked you up.”

 

“Dad is a very strong telepath. He can tell when someone is a telepath or an empath within the first few seconds of meeting them. I think it’s a gift.”

 

“Don’t worry, she won’t reach her full potential until her late teens. It’s a fun time.” Sarcasm obviously ran in the Targan family. “Len, would you mind coming with me.” _“Don’t worry Seriana, I’ll be good. I’ve scared him enough.”_

The two men left the puppy room. “Mr. Targan, You have a beautiful home. Thank you for welcoming all of us.”

 

“It is my pleasure, I promise you.” They walked out a glass side door and into a well-cared for formal garden with a small area that contained a tiny table with two chairs. It was a secluded spot that could not be seen from anywhere inside or outside of the house. “Please, have a seat.”

 

Len was concerned, was he going to be told to stay away from Seri? He would never stand between her and her father. Len had been blocking his thoughts. He wasn’t comfortable having this man, who he did not know, knowing his every thought. They sat, there was a pitcher of some cold drink with two glasses. Jazined had obviously planned this moment. He poured a glass for Len and himself.

 

The younger man studied the father across from him. How would he feel if there was a young man like him who wanted Jo? A man who had one marriage already under his belt. A man who had a daughter of his own. Would he welcome him? He didn’t know. “Thank you, sir.”

 

“You’re welcome. You love my daughter very much, don’t you?”

 

“More than I thought possible.”

 

“You were married before?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Then you know what mistakes not to make. Your daughter is a very happy little girl. You have done a remarkable job raising her.”

 

“Her mother has.”

 

“You both have. A child doesn’t turn out like Joanna unless they are loved by both of their parents. She is at ease with herself. Not like us, not like Jim. We are damaged, not like that baby.”

 

“Thank you for that. We have tried. My ex and I have worked hard to become friends again. It doesn’t do anyone any good if we hate each other. Besides, if I’m honest with myself, the divorce was completely my fault.”

 

“Was it? In my experience it usually takes two to destroy a marriage. I know that is the case for me. It was my fault for marrying her and expecting more from her than she is capable of giving. It is her fault for not bending to some of my needs. But it isn’t a complete loss. I have Seriana.”

 

Len was surprised. This was not the conversation he had expected. He liked this man, but more than that he understood him. “May I infer that you are getting a divorce?”

 

“Yes. I am going to tell Seriana after dinner. I wanted you to know before in case she needs your support.” He looked at the younger man. He couldn’t read his thoughts, but he could feel his understanding and compassion. “After her reaction to the moving of Seriana’s money and safety deposit box I was done. I couldn’t continue with the charade anymore. I kept up the pretense for the girls, but it wasn’t necessary anymore. They are grown women with their own lives. I need to begin to live mine. I cannot read your thoughts. My daughter has taught you well.”

 

“I’m sorry. I know how you must feel. The sense of failure that comes with the declaration. It hits you whether it is your idea or hers. Seri will be more concerned about you than anything else.”

 

“I don’t want her to think its her fault. What happened this past weak was just the end of a very long string of things.”

 

“The straw.”

 

“I’m sorry?”

 

“An old Earth phrase, the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

 

“I like that. It is appropriate. I’m giving her a decent settlement. She will never want for anything, but she won’t be able to live in the manner that she has these past thirty-two years. Her constant need to acquire things is one of my issues with her. She has done nothing to better herself or help others. She… I’m sorry Leonard. You didn’t come here to hear this.”

 

“Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.” Len ran up and grabbed the scotch out of his luggage. There were two glasses on their nightstands that he also took as he left the bedroom.  Jazined had not moved from the table. He was looking at the table but not actually seeing it. “Here, it was a gift for you, but I think you need it now. I hope you like it. It is an alcohol made in a place on Earth called Scotland.”

 

“I love scotch. Nice, you have very good taste.”

 

Len poured a couple of fingers for each of them. “Here you go. I don’t mind hearing about this. I feel bad you have to go through it. When did she leave?”

 

“Yesterday. I told her I wanted her gone before our daughter got home. She told me Seriana was my daughter, not hers. I won’t tell Seriana that. She doesn’t need to know how cruel her mother can be.”

 

“She knows. I won’t let her blame herself. The only people to blame for a divorce are the people in the marriage.”

 

“True. Tomorrow I thought we could go to town. Joanna would love our museum. There are displays that are interactive for children.”

 

“Will Ms. Targan be at the wedding?”

 

“No. She feels she is better than them. She said that she is no longer forced to associate with my friends and family. I have a feeling they will be happy they no longer have to associate with her.”

 

“Mr. Targan…”

 

“Jazined.”

 

“Jazined, I need to talk to you about something. It isn’t the custom here, I know, but Seri only cares about what you think. Her mother’s opinion doesn’t matter in the least as far as she is concerned.”

 

“Alright.” Len drank the scotch in one long gulp. “You know I don’t bite?”

 

“I want to marry your daughter. It won’t be for a while, definitely after graduation. But I want to marry her. I have been in love with her for moths and I can’t imagine life without her. She is my equal and I pray I am hers. I may not always make her happy, but I want to try my damnedest to. I want to be there for her at her best and worst. I know I don’t deserve her, but I need her.”

 

Jazined had a soft smile on his face. With this man his daughter would have the marriage he never had. He was her equal, something he had doubted his daughter would ever find. He had found himself telling this man about the divorce, not just that it was happening, but about his feelings. Leonard was a good man, Jazined was sure of it. “What exactly are you asking? You don’t need my permission.”

 

“No, but I would like your blessing. I would never come between you and your daughter. I couldn’t hurt her like that. If you don’t want me in her life, I would understand. I would walk away. She would hurt, but she would move past it.”

 

“But you wouldn’t. My boy, she wouldn’t either. You two are bonded, that is for life. More than that, I believe you are good enough for my daughter. That isn’t something I thought I would ever say to a man. She is my baby, my princess. I want her to be with her equal. I don’t want her to make the mistakes I made. With you she will be with her equal. You are more than married. I would be proud to call you my son.”

 

He stood up and Len joined him. Jazined embraced his future son-in-law. The embrace was returned. “Thank you. God, I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t want me for her.” They separated and sat again.

 

“She has been telling me about you for almost a year. I could probably tell you everything about you and Jim. She adores you. I knew that before you did. You gave her a family. One thing I know is you two will always take care of each other. Trust her, and trust yourself.”

 

“It is easier to trust her. I think she is smarter than me.”

 

“She is smarter than me.” He was laughing. “Don’t tell her I said that. Tell me about Jim. I didn’t think he would be as quiet as he is.”

 

“I think he is afraid of saying the wrong thing. He doesn’t usually care, but you are Seri’s dad.”

 

“I like your nickname for her.”

 

“Jim’s idea. He is a good kid. Jazined?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Are you always like this? Are you always this open?”

 

“To be honest, no. I am the person in the room who blocks all others from my thoughts. Most Betazoids don’t do this. It is you. The way you look into people. You have a lot in common with your daughter. Anyway, I know she will want to move to Earth. I am all she has here and I doubt that would be enough to make her stay.”

 

“We can come visit.”

 

“Or I could come to you. I hear Earth is lovely.”

 

“Some parts. I think the farm is beautiful, but I am biased. Seri seems to like it, and Jo loves it. That’s what matters.”

 

“Jim Kirk…Kirk, why is that name familiar?”

 

“George Kirk.”

 

“Shit. Sorry. Uncle?”

 

“No, father.”

 

“That poor kid. Now I understand the nervousness. I’ve enjoyed our talk.”

 

“Surprisingly, so have I. At least I’m not terrified anymore.”

 

“No need to be. Unless you hurt her on purpose.”

 

“That will never happen.” Just then the gong was sounded.

 

“Dinner is ready. Don’t worry, I have stopped the tradition of sounding the gong all through dinner. It is annoying. The table is set over here. I’m sure Seriana will bring the other two.”

 

Len followed to the dinner table. The table was near the lake. It was a long wooden table with candles down the middle. Kenakin was lighting the candles as his wife supervised. There were several other servants to serve the food. There were candles floating in the water. “Thank you for this. It is beautiful.”

 

“Dinner usually isn’t this grand. I wanted to pull out the best for my baby and her family.” Just then Seri led Jim and Jo to the table.

 

“Dad this is lovely. Tachin!” Seri gave the elegant lady a hug. “This is perfect. Thank you. I know this was all your doing.”

 

“You are welcome. It is nice to have you home, even if it is only for a short time.”

 

“Where are the children?”

 

“At University. The twins started this year.”

 

“No! They can’t be that old! I am ancient! Let me introduce you to my friends. This is Jim, watch out for him. This is Len; he isn’t as grumpy as he seems. And the is Joanna; she is our princess.”

 

“Hello Miss Joanna. I hope you like your bedroom.”

 

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

 

“So, you are Leonard. You are the man who is going to take our Seriana from us?”

 

“Yes ma’am.” He shook her hand.

 

“And you are Jim. Luckily my daughters aren’t’ here.” She was smiling at him.

 

“It is nice to meet you ma’am.” Jim was pink. What had Seri told them?

 

Jazined Took his seat at the head of the table. They all followed behind him. He singled for Len to sit at the other end. Jo sat next to Seri, and Jim sat opposite them. Dinner was fun. Stories were told of the trouble Seri would get in when she was Jo’s age. During the meal it was decided that Jo should call Mr. Targan granddad. Jo told him he should call her Jo. Seri showed her dad her ring. Len told him about the family history behind it.

 

“Turtle, its getting late and I think Aunt Seri may want to spend sometime with granddad. Let’s get ready for bed.”

 

“Can I say good night to the puppies.”

 

“You can see them tomorrow. Say good night now.”

 

“Yes daddy.” She went to each of the other adults and gave them a kiss good night.

 

“It’s alright Munchkin, I’m going up also. Good night Mr. Targan. Night kiddo.” He gave Seri a kiss on the cheek. The three went back to the house as Seri joined her dad.

 

“What is on your mind?”

 

“That was direct.” He offered her is arm as they began to walk toward the lake.

 

“It was. You still didn’t answer the question and you have the door closed to that part of your mind. What is on your mind dad?”

 

He stopped and turned to face her. His daughter, the one he took such pride in. The child who was so like him it was frightening at times. The one he never wanted to disappoint. “I asked your mother for a divorce. This past week was, what did Len call it, the straw that broke the camel’s back. I do like that colloquialism. Seriana, I am sorry. I know I have disappointed you, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I  
need some peace in my life. Life should be like it was tonight, not how it has been for over three decades. I don’t regret the marriage, it gave me you, but I can’t live like that anymore.” Jazined Targan didn’t rattle on about anything. Tonight, was a first.

 

“So, Len knows.”

 

“I told him tonight. We had a very good talk. You chose well baby. He is perfect for you.”

 

“Tell me, how are you doing?”

 

“I’ll be alright. I am giving her a generous settlement. I know she’ll fight, but I am not willing to give her more. She’ll never want for anything, but she will have to learn to be more practical. She is still the mother of my children.”

 

“I wouldn’t expect any less from you. You’re a good man dad, better than she deserved. This was because of what I did at the bank, wasn’t it?”

 

“No, it was because of all that has happened over the years. She won’t be at the wedding. I didn’t want to say anything in the car. She will come by the day after to see you.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“No, you know she’ll be here.”

 

“Can you make sure Jo isn’t. The guys are fine, they can handle her. But, I don’t want that baby exposed to her bile.”

 

“That should be easy enough. I thought you would be upset with me. Instead you don’t seem at all surprised.”

 

“I’m not. I’m happy for you in a way. I know this wasn’t easy, but it needed to be done for years. What did Celiasa say?”

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Yes, it does. I can feel how it still hurts you.”

 

 “If I don’t take your mother back I will never see my grandchildren again.”

 

“Can she do that?”

 

“Yes. She’ll get that wimp of a husband to agree and it is done. As much as that is killing me, the marriage was killing me even faster. I can’t keep doing it. Everyday I would dread coming home. I slept at the office not to have to see her. It wasn’t a life, it was an existence.”

 

Seri took him into her arms. “You don’t have to keep doing it. You’ll always have me. I doubt you will be able to get rid of Jo after today. She was telling me how much she liked you and how nice you were. She said I was lucky you were my father. I have to agree with the munchkin. I am lucky to have you as a father.” They stood on the banks of the lake holding onto each other as they listed to the water lap against the rocks. Jazined knew that no matter what happened he would always have the love of his daughter.

 

They walked through the gardens. The night air magnified the floral smells. “I’m thinking of leasing this place to the Cultural Relations office. I never cared for it, and without you here it seems devoid of life. Besides, I may not stay on the planet. My work takes me all over as it is.”

 

“You should visit Earth. Len lives near a quaint town. I know how much you like the country. I agree with you about the house. I only loved the gardens, and your room.”

 

“And the library.” She smiled as she watched the ground. He never took his eyes from her.

 

“Definitely the library. There were a few books in there I still think about.”

 

“You should take them with you. You need to have some of your past and culture surrounding you.”

 

“No gongs!”

 

“No, absolutely no gongs. Do you think the men would want to see where I work? It would be boring for Jo.”

 

“I think they all would want to see it. You would be surprised by what fascinates her.”

 

“I know you know that Len adores you. Do you know that Jim loves you very much as well? Obviously not in the same way, but he does. And I know you love him too Princess.”

 

“I do. I see in him what many others don’t. He is a leader; he just needs to grow into it a little more.”

 

“I predict that boy will do great things. He will most likely outshine his father, that is if he can get out from behind his ghost.”

 

“You need to stop reading his thoughts.”

 

“Baby, he let me during dinner. He looked at me and I felt his wall drop. I think it was easier for him than talking about it all. There are still some things he is blocking, something when he was a teenager.”

 

“That is for later, if you really get to know him.”

 

“He is in love with Len’s sister, but you know that.”

 

“So does Len, though Jim doesn’t know that. Please don’t tell him. He needs to come to Len of his own accord.”

 

“I won’t say a thing. He is a good man. You have built a beautiful family for yourself.”

 

“And for you if you want to be a part of it.”

 

They had arrived at the side door that open into the kitchen. “I would like that. I think the next years are going to be spent traveling. I am setting up satellite offices on several planets. I want to break into the Vulcan market, but that has been difficult.”

 

“You could talk to Len’s Uncle George about that. He has a rather large Earth practice, though you wouldn’t know it by his offices. He might be a good source, Mama told me he has a few off-world lawyers in his employ. One of them is Vulcan. It is amazing what you learn while breading chicken.”

 

“I would like to talk to him. They sound like a tight family.”

 

“They are, but also very welcoming.” She could feel her father begin to retreat. “They want to meet you.”

 

“Thank you Seriana.” The house was quiet when they entered. The dishes were washed and put away. “I’m glad you’re home baby.”

 

“So am I Daddy. Oh, before I forget, Len doesn’t know about Betazoid wedding ceremonies. Please don’t tell him.”

 

“Seriana! And you say I’m mean.”

 

“Evidently I come by it honestly. I want to see his reaction, and besides he doesn’t have to be naked if he doesn’t want to be. Jim will strip; he knows and doesn’t care.”

 

“You definitely are my child. Now go join your fiancé. I’ll be alright, I promise.”

 

Seri walked up the kitchen staircase to their room. Jazined looked at the bottle of scotch. It was too good for what he had in mind. He wanted to blot out his thoughts, that called for the bourbon. The bottle was taken from the cabinet. A generous glass was poured before he sat down. The kitchen was black this time of the night. The only light poured in through the stairwell. He studied the glass as the amber liquid picked up the light. Suddenly the light disappeared.

 

“Mr. Targan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just came down for a drink.” Jim turned to leave.

 

“Why don’t you join me?” Jim sat down as Jazined took a glass from the cabinet and pour the kid a glass. “Thank you for tonight.”

 

“I just thought it would be easier. You had to know who I was, I guess I wanted to let you know, to let you know…”

 

“Who you really are? You love all of them very much, don’t you?”

 

“More than I ever thought possible. After my life I didn’t think I could. I know Seri has told you about me. I also know she didn’t tell you everything.”

 

“No, she would never do that. Jim, you don’t have to tell me anything. I can feel the man you are. Like my daughter, I can read you. She taught you well. No one can break though your barriers. Please don’t feel you need to let me know anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

 

“You know, Seri told me a lot about you. She loves you. I think part of her wants to be like you. She is one of the few truly good people I have ever met.”

 

“She isn’t perfect.”

 

“None of us are. Least of all me.”

 

“Or me.”

 

“Let me turn on a light.” Jazined turned on the small light over the sink. It threw a warm light over to the table. “Things look better in the dark.”

 

“They do. Thank you for having us. Len told me what is going on. It couldn’t be easy for you to have all of us here.”

 

“It helps. You know I researched you two? First in your class at the Academy, I thought you would be an interesting house guest.”

 

“Can I assume Ms. Targan didn’t feel the same?”

 

He chuckled. “That is an understatement. Doesn’t matter though. It never did I guess.”

 

“It does to you. If it didn’t you wouldn’t be sitting here drinking in the dark.” Jim’s eyes were almost a velvet blue as he tried to see into the man in front of him.

 

“It does. Guess part of me hoped she wasn’t who I knew she was. It must sound stupid to you.”

 

“No, we all have that person in our lives. For me it is my mother. I keep hoping she is capable of more than she is. Perhaps one day I’ll give up the fantasy.”

 

“Perhaps.” He finished his drink and poured another. “But not likely.”

 

Jim poured himself another drink, though he knew this would be his last. He would take care of everything tonight. After what Len told him, and what he was when he entered the kitchen, he knew it would be a long night. He understood Jazined’s need to narcotize himself against the pain of failure. “It isn’t your fault.”

 

“Yes, it is. I could have said no to the marriage. But I was young and stupid. I followed what my family told me to do. I was told that she was beautiful and from the right family, that was what I needed in a wife. I was never happy with her, not even for a day. Fuck, that’s not true. I had one day, the day Seriana was born. That was the one day. When Celiasa was born all Lenoxia could talk about was how now we had an heir. I had done my duty and given her and her family a girl. Seriana was mine. She meant nothing to them. When she was growing up she went everywhere with me.  She is the best of me.”

 

Jim let him ramble, he doubted this man had ever done it before that night. “She is amazing. She sees through me that’s for sure. You know she loves you.”

 

“I do.” He studied the liquid in his glass. “I don’t think she wanted to be a surgeon, but it was a way to anger her mother. You know she graduated from what you call high school at fifteen? She did that to get out of this house.”

 

“She did it to get away from her mother and sister, not you.”

 

“I know. If I had been stronger she wouldn’t have had to do that. No point in thinking about it; I can’t change it for her.” He finished the glass and poured another one.

 

“Strength has nothing to do with it. You did a wonderful job as a father. She is strong, loving, sweet, ornery, and a little irreverent.”

 

He smiled at his glass. “She is my daughter. I never destroyed her mother. I could have, still can; but I won’t.”

 

“You aren’t the type of man to let her go without.”

 

“No, that’s not what I mean. I can do it, so can Seriana. We can not only read your thoughts, but we can plant vision into you subconscious. You’ll dream what we plant for as long as we want. It can be a pleasant dream, or a nightmare. There were days I wanted to plant the worst nightmare into that woman’s brain; drive her slowly insane.” He looked at Jim. “Don’t worry kid, I would never do that. It would destroy her, but it would destroy me as well. I won’t become that monster.”

 

“Can all Betazoids do that?”

 

“No, but there are some of us who can. I don’t know if she realizes she has that ability. It takes a lot to push someone to do it. I doubt she has ever been pushed that far. I’ll talk to her about it before you go back. I don’t want it to take her by surprise. If it does she may not be able to control it.”

 

“Why haven’t you told her about it before?”

 

“Because until now I didn’t feel it in her, at least not this strong. Also if we don't know we have the ability it might not manifest itself. ”

 

“What changed?”

 

“Joanna, Len, even you my boy. She feels protective for the first time in her life. Before this I had no idea, she had acquired the ability. I thought she might have, but I wasn't positive until now. I guess Lenoxia was right, Seriana is exactly like me. I’m just pleased she isn’t making the same mistakes I made.”

 

“You made sure that wouldn’t happen. You accepted Len. All you want for her is a good man who will love her. Trust me he is that. He isn’t me.”

 

“You are a good man James Kirk. Don’t lie to yourself, you are a good man.” He was feeling the alcohol. “Probably shouldn’t have drunk that much.”

 

“Do you want to go up?”

 

“I should. That little one will want to do things tomorrow. I don’t want to disappoint her, not because of this.”

 

“She is understanding, but I understand your point. Do you need any help?” Mr. Targan stood too quickly and had to grab the table. It was then that Jim realized the bottle was almost gone. “Nevermind, here, let me give you a hand.” Jim put his arm around the man’s waist as he threw his arm over his own shoulder. “There, I’ve got you. Don’t worry, I’ve had more than a few people do this for me.”

 

Jim got Jazined up the stairs and to the room the man half led them toward. The older man was stripped down to his boxers and poured into bed. Jim got a glass of water and left it by the bed along with a stone waste basket just in case. He doubted the older man was that bad, but he wanted to be cautious just the same. He stayed until he heard snoring. The moon shown through the bedroom window as Jim looked out across the front lawn. As with the woods in Georgia, everything took on the look of an old black and white picture.

 

This was the world Seri grew up in. It was a world of wealth, privilege, contempt, anger, and love. The he contradictions hit him. For the differences in their childhoods, all three of them had similar backgrounds. His was more violent, but none of them was peaceful. Jo would have a different life then they had. She would have all of the peace that theirs lacked.

 

Jim closed the door quietly. He found his way back to his room. The shower felt good and the sheets were soft. Tomorrow would more likely than not start with Jo jumping on him. He felt Cal’s absence, but he knew she would be waiting for him when they got home. This was turning out to be an interesting trip. He knew he could easily grow to love Seri’s father. He understood him in almost the same way he understood Uncle George.

 

He had left the drapes open. The city lights could be seen in the distance. Jim laid in bed and stared at the alien city. What mysteries did it hold? He would find out soon enough. Tomorrow he would see some of the things that made Seri who she was. Slowly he fell into a peaceful sleep, knowing that he was loved and accepted.


	50. chapter 50

Jim looked himself over in the mirror. Seri was right, no one looked good in class A’s. He grabbed his hat and walked into the living area. Every one except for Mrs. Chekov was seated on the couches. “I’ll be back soon.”

 

Seri looked at him. She knew he was worried about Pavel’s mother. “Don’t worry, she is napping. Len went for a walk. I’ll follow you over. I have meetings in the administration building.”

 

Cal gabbed her hat. “I’m going with you. I’ll come back when you go to your meeting.”

 

“Thanks Honey. Dad, I thought we could order dinner in. I don’t think any of us wants to be on display.”

 

“I’ll take care of it, Jim. They left us sandwiches in the refrigerator, so lunch is taken care of.”

 

“I’m not hungry. I’ll eat later.” Jim was under too much stress to feel hungry. If he was honest he felt nothing; not hurt, not loss, not anger, nothing. “I’ll be back as soon as I’m done.” The three left the cottage and walked to the administration offices. Jim and Cal went to the media room and Seri turned to the elevators to go to the medical administration offices. It was going to be a very long day.

 

Jim walked into the room with Cal. The seats were filled facing the podium that Jim knew was for him. Cal walked to the side of the room; close enough that Jim knew she was there. A woman from the PR department stepped forward and signaled to the man at the back of the room. “Hello everyone. We are here with Captain James Tiberius Kirk. We know you all have questions for the captain, but we ask that you wait for him to call on you. There will be only one question each. No shouting please.” She turned her back to the correspondents and whispered to Jim. “I would call on the man in the purple shirt three row in toward the left. He will ask you about the refit of the ship. It will allow you to ease into the other questions.”

 

“Thank you, ma’am.” Jim looked out over the room as the woman walked over to stand with Cal. Hands shot up. Jim pointed to the man in the purple shirt and the questions began. The PR woman was right, the questions became more and more difficult as the inquisition went on. Jim handled it all with grace and patience. Cal kept her eye on him. She could feel him dying inside every time one of them mentioned Pavel’s death or Len’s detention and torture.

 

It was an hour before the press conference was called to an end. He thanked the PR people and offered his arm to Cal. She took his arm but felt she was holding him up as much as he was protecting her. No one in the press would come up to her as long as she was on Jim Kirk’s arm. They didn’t part until he walked into the meeting room. Cal managed to slip out of the building and back to the cottage unnoticed.

 

Lena leaned against George. “Jo, why don’t you get changed. That dress and shoes can’t be comfortable.”

 

“Alright grandma. Grandpa, if dad gets back tell him I’m taking a nap.”

 

“Alright baby.” Jo went to her room and closed the door. “She’s worried about him.”

 

“She is worried about both of them. Len is doing better than Jim. It will change day to day, but today he is not doing as well as Len. Jim is a ticking time bomb. We need to keep an eye on him. He won’t be able to hold it together much longer.” She snuggled in closer.

 

“How are you doing?”

 

“About as well as you are. It is going to be a long couple of days. Kat wants to talk to Len. She wants to ask him if Pavel can be buried in the family cemetery. She doesn’t know he already picked the spot and Jake is having it dug today. Rob is bringing in the guys from his place to help. They can’t get the backhoe to the spot.”

 

“You have good kids.”

 

“We have. When did Jim start calling you dad?”

 

“Years ago. He and Len both do. Jazined and I seem to have acquired quite a few children.”

 

“It looks good on both of you. I told Kat she could stay with us as long as she wants. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

“Not at all. She should be with family. She said she has no one in Russia since her brother died. Len’s going to be gone awhile. We should get some rest.” They went to their room. Everyone was exhausted.

 

Len continued to stare at his sister. For almost a decade he had only seen her in pictures. He was informed about both of her marriages and about the birth of his nephew. “You still haven’t answered the question.”

 

“May I have a seat?” He motioned for her to sit. There was no need to draw any more attention than they had already. “Which question?”

 

“What are you doing here?” He stared at her. She still looked incredibly put together. Life hadn’t been easy for her either. Her second wife, Erica, was nice. She had been trying to get Len to come see them. He didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth, so he continued to use the excuse of his job.

 

“Erica said I should come.”

 

“I knew it wasn’t your idea.”

 

“No, it wasn’t. But she was right about one thing. I have been worried about you.” She took his coffee and started to sip.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you are still my brother.” Her eyes studied his face. He had acquired a few more lines since the last time they met. His eyes looked different, more tired. She had been worried after she read about Kahn, but this was worse and her wife knew she needed to see him.

 

“And beneath you. You made that clear your entire life.”

 

“I followed you all of these years. Erica was right, I needed to see you. I needed to know you were alright.”

 

“So, you’ve seen me. Now what?”

 

“You aren’t alright.”

 

“No, Ginny I’m not. What do you want from me? I’m burying one of my best friends in two days. I’m not going to be all smiles.”

 

“No, I suppose not. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” She stood up to leave.

 

“You know we will never be close. But Ginny I don’t hate you.”

 

“I don’t hate you either.”

 

“You can visit the farm whenever you want. It doesn’t matter if I am there. How is David doing?” She sat down again.

 

“He is getting big. Len, he looks like you. Erica keeps telling me we should take him to meet his uncle.”

 

“I would like that. We’ll be home for a year. Anytime after Christmas would work. I’m busy until then.”

 

“I heard about the wedding. Congratulations.”

 

“It seems I am not the only one who has a spy network.” He smiled at her.

 

“No, you aren’t. She is good for you.”

 

“She is. I like Erica. She is persistent.”

 

“She is. She likes you. She told me you didn’t regret what you did.”

 

“How could she tell that? I never talked about it.”

 

“She got a feel for you over the past few years.”

 

“Your lucky she can’t read minds, then you would really be in trouble.” The conversation was strained, but at least they were talking.

 

“I’ll call you after Christmas. Congratulations again Len.”

 

“Thanks Ginny. I’ll see you then.” She left the coffee house. Len stared after her wondering if reopening communications with her would be worth it. He did like his sister-in-law and he wanted to meet his nephew. Ginny had given birth to him two years prior. It hadn’t been an easy birth, but they both came through it okay. He would tell Seri about it once they were in bed.

 

Len had been at the coffee house for several hours before Seri walked through the door. She flopped into the seat across from him. “You have to be fucking kidding me. She was here?”

 

“Yep. I thought we could talk about it when we are in bed tonight. How did the meetings go?”

 

“I’m getting four more counselors. They will be contacting you this week about the number of doctors and the specialties needed for a ship’s compliment of a thousand including children.”

 

“Not a problem. I already have the staffing needs and numbers ready.”

 

“It’s best to go after what you want while they are still feeling the sting of their mistake.”

 

“Give me a minute.” He went to the counter and got her a Jasmine tea. As he waited he watched her take her cover off and unpin her hair. Len loved to watch how her hair tumbled over her shoulders and down her back. He returned with the tea. “Here, just like that first day.”

 

“Jasmine?” She smelled the steam. “Mmmmm. Perfect, thank you.”

 

“I’ve missed this. Just us, at our table. Kat wants to talk to me. I already have the guys digging the grave.”

 

“I know. You haven’t been blocking your thoughts.”

 

“I know. I just like to say it out loud sometimes. Do you think I’m being foolish letting Ginny back in?”

 

“No, I think you want to meet your nephew. I doubt you’ll ever be close, but you don’t have to be completely estranged either. This isn’t me and my sister.” People continued to steal glances at the couple. Their pictures were all over the news that evening. The picture that was everywhere was the one of Len hugging Joanna as he lifted her off the ground. There was talk of that one winning the Pulitzer Prize for photography. “They are staring at us.”

 

“It’s alright. They have been staring at me all day. You learn to ignore it. We should head back as soon as you’re done.”

 

“Uncle George is ordering dinner. That way we don’t have to go out. Len…”

 

“Yes Peaches?”

 

“Jim isn’t doing well. He is holding it together for now, but it won’t last.”

 

“I know. I know the kid. He won’t fall apart till this is over. After that it is anyone’s guess how long it will be before he explodes. I’ll help keep an eye on him.”

 

“We all will.” She finished her tea. The walk back to the cottage was peaceful. It was dark out, so no one could see who the couple strolling with their fingers interlocked was.

 

By the time they got back to the cottage everyone was back and changed. Seri went to the bedroom to get out of her uniform and get ready for dinner. Kat came to Len. “May we talk?”

 

“Yes ma’am.” He walked with her to the den.

 

“It is Kat. How many times do I have to tell you. I like to pretend that I am not that much older than you.” He motioned for her to sit. He took the seat next to her on the couch. They both shifted to face each other. “I need to ask a favor of you.”

 

“Anything, you know that.”

 

“I would like to have Pavel buried at your farm.”

 

“Kat, they are already preparing the spot. If it is alright with you, we were going to lay him under his favorite tree.”

 

“Thank you, Len. He would have wanted that. He loved the farm, even the cows.”

 

“Especially 42. Please stay with us anytime you want and for as long as you want. The wedding is December twenty-fifth. We understand if you don’t want to be there.”

 

“I would be honored to be there. Be happy Len. Be happy and live for Pavel and for me. Please don’t make his death a waste.” She brushed away the tear as it ran down his cheek.

 

“Thank you, Kat.” He held her in his arms. He was responsible for her. They joked he was lord of the manor, but he was. She was a part of his family and he would always make sure she was safe and secure.

 

George came to the den. “Okay every one, dinner.” They all grabbed plates and filled them with chicken and salads. Dinner was quiet, not the normal family get together, but then they were missing the loudest member. “We should all get to bed early. We have to be up no later than 04:30 if we are to get there on time.”

 

The paper plates were thrown out and the kitchen cleaned before they went to their respective bedrooms. Jim hadn’t said a word the entire evening. Len went to Cal to kiss her good night. “Don’t worry big brother, I’ll keep an eye on him.” She stood on her tippy toes and kissed him good night.

 

Jim stood naked by the bed. They shared a bathroom with Jo. He had told her to take her shower first. Cal looked at him. “Don’t worry I locked the door to the bathroom. I’m getting use to sharing a bathroom with the munchkin. Sometimes I think she plans our vacation accommodations that way. A throw back to our first vacation together.”

 

“She probably does. You are her favorite uncle.” She walked closer to him. “Jim, talk to me.”

 

“And say what? Everything is set for tomorrow, and Len took care of everything at the farm. Seri put together the honor guard schedule for the chapel, and Rob will be doing the service. It is all done.”

 

Her hand supped his cheek. “Jim, stop it.” He looked into her eyes, into her soul. “Talk to me.”

 

He unbuttoned her top. “Let’s get some sleep.”

 

For the time being she would give him the space he wanted. “Alright.”

 

Jim climbed into bed and watched Cal as she stripped. “God, you are beautiful. Come here.”

 

Cal walked to the bottom of the bed and crawled up until she was lying on top of Jim. She kissed him softly. He placed his hand behind her head and pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss. He needed this, he needed to lose himself in her. She could feel him getting harder the longer the kiss continued. His tongue tangled with hers. It was better than their first kiss. They knew each other now. The years apart hadn’t dimmed their knowledge of the other’s needs and signals.

 

Her hand worked its way to between them. She stroked his cock as her tongue tangled with his. He groaned into her mouth trying to make sure he made as little noise as possible. They broke from their kiss. Cal could tell he was going to roll them over, so she put her hands on his shoulders. “No Captain. For now, you don’t have to make any decisions. Tonight, you are mine and only mine. Tonight, I am going to ride you until you pass out.”

 

“I have never passed out. But you are welcome to try.” She kissed him again. Her hand hadn’t left his cock. She ran her thumb over the head, smearing the precum.

 

He closed his eyes and lost himself in the feeling, lost himself in her. She licked down his chest and began to suck on his nipples. The feeling went directly to his dick. He almost came as she bit down on the left nipple. Keeping quiet was becoming more difficult with every passing second. Suddenly she was off of him and crawling on her knees to the top of the bed. Cal put one knee on either side of his head. He could see her, as pink and perfect as the night of the first bonfire. He needed to taste her, to have her cum as he ate her out.

 

His hands grabbed her hips and pulled her onto his face. He made sure his nose wasn’t covered, he wanted to make sure he didn’t have to stop to breathe. Cal grabbed the headboard as she felt his tongue lap at her clit. He flicked it before he sucked it into his mouth. When she sat on his face the sheer eroticism of the act couple with his gymnastic mouth was enough to make her cum. Fingers didn’t need to be inserted if he allowed her to ride him. “That’s it baby, fuck my face, do it.” With that he buried his mouth into her folds and growled as he drove her higher and higher. Her legs shook as she ground down onto his mouth. His tongue was inside her when she came. He could feel her spasms and taste her. His face was soaked when she finished.

 

“Your turn.” She licked down his chest and brought his cock into her mouth. “Mmmmm.” Jim’s eyes closed. Her tongue wrapped around his head, and the vibration of her moan almost set him off. He didn’t want this to end that fast. He wanted to be inside of her.

 

“Please Cal.” She knew what he wanted. She made sure his dick was wet before she knelt over it and guided him in up to the hilt. “Fuck…god you feel so…”

 

She started to rock back and forth. His hands on her hips aided her as she pushed harder and faster. Her clit was rubbing against him as she fucked him into oblivion. She laid on top of him but continued to move her hips up and down. He thrusted up as hard as he could while she continued to move her vagina up and down his shaft. “Jim… fuck me. Fuck me harder.” He pushed at her harder and dug his fingers into her hips as he helped move her faster.  He couldn’t hold back anymore. He needed to cum, needed to fill her. He thrusted as he felt her cum. She screamed into his chest. He moaned as he felt his orgasm take over. He couldn’t stop it, the orgasm continued until it felt like it would never stop.

 

When Jim came to, Cal was looking down at him. “So, you never pass out.”

 

“I stand corrected. Damn, I hope no one heard us.”

 

“And if they did?”

 

“I don’t want my niece conjuring pictures in her mind.”

 

“I understand. Jim, it will be alright. I’ll be with you every minute.”

 

“I know. We should get washed up.” He walked to the bathroom and locked the door that led to Jo’s bedroom. They took a long hot shower, allowing the day to rinse off and flow down the drain.

 

Len fell asleep in Seri’s arms. He needed to feel her around him. Tomorrow would bring them home and the next day it would all end in a dark hole under an oak tree. But the night, this night, would be safe. He was safe.

 

Len woke at 02:00 he slipped out of bed and threw on a shirt and pants. He walked into the den, the large window looked out over the bay. The lights on the bridge were barely visible through the dense fog. Something was wrong. He couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something amiss.

 

He opened the door to his mother and George’s room. They were both sound asleep. He went to Kat’s room. She was also sleeping. Jo still looked like a little girl as she snuggled under the covers, her hair strewn across the pillows. He opened Cal and Jim’s door. Cal was sound asleep, but Jim wasn’t there. Of course, he wasn’t.

 

Len carefully took his shoes out of the bedroom. He didn’t want to wake anyone. He put them on and left the cottage. He knew where Jim had to be. Len walked across the campus, following the light from the large building in front of him. Len half ran up the steps and stepped into the large entryway. There was a staircase to the left. He took it up to the second-floor hall. He stepped into the back of the gallery and looked around.

 

Jim was seated in the front row, slumped to the side with his elbow on the armrest, his hand rested against his mouth. Len walked over to him and sat down. He looked at the tableau below them. A guard of honor stood at all four corners of the caisson facing the casket. A single light shined down on Pavel. Cadets continued to come in.

 

The doctor’s gaze turned to his brother. “Talk to me.”

 

“How did you find me?”

 

“Jim, I know you. Now talk to me. I’m not Seri, I can’t read your thoughts.”

 

“Can’t you? Sometimes I think you read me better than she does.”

 

“You know you didn’t do this.”

 

“See I told you. You can read my mind. This is absolutely my responsibility.”

 

“Alright, I’ll give you that.” Jim turned to look at Len. “I understand that. It may be your responsibility, but that doesn’t mean you could have affected the outcome. It isn’t your fault.”

 

“If you say so.” The captain turned his attention back to the casket and its contents.

 

“Jim, I do understand what you are feeling.”

 

“I know you do. Lord of the manor.”

 

“So, you heard that one. I ran into Ginny today. We can talk about that later. She said it to anger me, but the truth is I am responsible for all of it, and all of them. So yes, I understand what you mean.”

 

“Len, I will need to talk to you, just not now. If I talk I don’t think I will be able to get through the next couple of days. Can you understand that?”

 

“More than you know. We should get back before the ladies realize we are gone.”

 

“I guess. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.”

 

“I don’t know if I can either, but as a doctor I should tell you we need to try.” Len stood and looked down at Jim.

 

He stood with Len and took a last look at the scene below. “It all seems unreal. I thought I would go first.”

 

“So did I.” Len smiled as he put an arm around his friend.  “Let’s go back.”

 

They entered a dark and quiet cottage. No one knew they had gone. Jim slipped back into bed with Cal. He couldn’t wait to ask her to marry him, to be a part of him forever. Len undressed and crawled under the covers. Seri turned over. “He’ll be alright once he confronts his feelings.”

 

“I know that Peaches. He just needs to get through the next couple of days.” He pulled her to him and she tucked in under his chin. Len fell asleep to the sounds of her breathing against his neck.

 

Morning came too soon. The group washed, dressed, grabbed food, and waited. The rest of the entourage joined them in the cottage. Four cadets had been sent to transfer their luggage to the shuttle. “Captain Kirk, is this all of the luggage?”

 

“There is also luggage in the other cottage, but yes, for this cottage this is all there is.”

 

“We will take care of it, sir.” He saluted the captain who returned the gesture quickly.

 

Jayla had joined Scotty that morning. She left her luggage with his and accompanied the funeral party. Ben and Demora had arrived the night before. They too were having their luggage sent to the shuttle. The limousines pulled up and the family loaded into them. The drive to the pavilion was silent, each person lost in their own thoughts.

 

The doors were opened as the family walked up the steps and into the rotunda. It seemed that every cadet was there. All of the seats on the floor and in the gallery were filled. Jim led the entourage to the front. He helped Kat, Lena, and George to their seats. Ben, Jayla, Jo, and Demora sat directly behind them. The pall bearers followed the Captain to the caisson. They divided and stood at the foot and the head of the casket. The choir began to sing the Prayer of Saint Francis as the director led Kat, Lena, and George to say goodbye. They each kissed Pavel good bye before they turned back to their seats.

 

The director talked to Jim. Jim told one half of the group and the director told the other that they would need to turn the caisson around on the platform. There was more than enough room to do so. The platform had a circle in the middle that would allow it to turn easily. Len took one end and Spock the other as they turned the caisson.

 

It was better that Kat not see them lower her son and close the lid over him. Len for his part wouldn’t leave. He wanted to be the last one to see Pavel. He needed to be with him until the end. The director signaled for the men to leave the platform, but Len wouldn’t go. Instead he helped tuck in the blanket after Pavel was lowered, then helped close the lid over his little brother. The director inserted a metal key into the hole and locked down the lid.

 

Len stepped off the platform as the flag was being carefully placed over the top half of the casket. He could hear Kat crying but couldn’t bring himself to look at her. He could only get through this if he followed Jim’s lead and went on auto pilot. It was all theater. It had to be or he wouldn’t be able to function. The pallbearers stepped onto the platform and took their places. There was no noise in the rotunda. They turned to the rear of the caisson with Len and Spock leading the way. They would take the brunt of the weight as they descended the stairs.

 

Slowly they walked up the aisle with the family close behind. It would be the last time the entire family would be at Starfleet. There were more cadets lining the steps to the hearse. They definitely were all there even though it wasn’t a mandatory event. Pavel was loaded into the hearse and the family stepped into the limousines.

 

Jim had rented a large shuttle. There was enough room for everyone and Pavel to ride in the passenger cabin. He had made sure it would be configured to hold the casket. The family went into the shuttle first. Jo left two seats next to her for her dad and Seri. They took Pavel from the hearse and placed him onto the cart at the back right of the shuttle. It was already locked in and there were straps to secure the casket. With everything secured they group took their seats.

 

Len sat between Seri and Jo. He had gotten better about riding in shuttles, but it still wasn’t his ideal mode of transportation. Jim smiled at Len’s discomfort. He nodded to the attendant who told the pilot they were ready to go. At exactly 08:00 the shuttle took off for home.


	51. chapter 51

Len made sure Jo was asleep. She was a princess in a castle. Tucked in with her pony she held her father enthralled. He kissed her on the forehead before he closed the door. Their room was almost directly across from hers. He opened both doors. Entered the room and quickly shut them behind him.

 

The moonlight shown into the room giving a noir appearance to the king sized bed on the platform directly in front of him. Seri was stretched out naked on the cream silk blanket that covered the bed and puddled onto the floor. “Hello Dr. McCoy. I was wondering if you would mind helping me with a problem?”

 

He began to undress, not noticing where his clothes were falling. “What would that problem be?”

 

She writhed on the bed in a way that made him picture her doing that under him. “I have this itch I can’t seem to take care of. I was wondering if you could scratch it for me.”

 

His dick was already rock hard and pointing straight up when he reached the bed. “I might be able to help with that.” He climbed onto the bed. “Is this where the itch is?” He ran his fingers between her folds. She was soaking wet.

 

“No. It feels more internal. I don’t think fingers will work.”

 

“Ummmm, I see your point. I may have something else to take care of that.” He rolled onto her, placing his legs between hers. He was leaning on his elbows as he ran his fingers over her lips. She worked her fingers through his hair, then down the side of his face and neck until they danced over his collarbone. Softly he ran his tongue over her lips. This was going to be a soft and gentle night. A night where every nerve ending awoke under feather light touches.

 

His right hand guided his cock easily into her. She was so wet he slipped in easily. Slowly she opened her mouth for him. She wanted to memorize everything about his taste. He wanted to memorize every movement as she opened completely for him. He began to move in and out of her, hitting her g-spot with every thrust. It was a slow burn, one that they both hoped could last for at least a half an hour. “I love you Len.”

 

“I love you too Imzadi.” Her hands ghosted down his back. She ran her fingers lightly down his spine, sending electric jolts directly to his cock. He was moaning into her shoulder as he drank in her sent. She smelled like home. His hand cupped her breast as his tongue barely touched her nipple.

 

Seri was quietly moaning as his hands continued to dance over her arms, and brushed her neck. He raised his head to look down at her. She held his eyes with hers. Both felt every breath, every touch. They drew it all out as long as possible. Long kisses followed slow thrusts as they each built the other up. She could feel her love for him as intensely as she felt his dick swell against her walls, and his tongue dance across her jaw.

 

Len was drowning in her. She was consuming him in love. It was all intense, more intense than anything he had ever experienced. This was different. He thought those first times were intense, but this was on a different level. He wanted her; even inside her he felt he couldn’t get close enough. He needed to be a part of her. At that moment he entered her soul. Her eyes grew larger as she felt him join completely with her. Until that point she had to do it, now he proved he could do it as well. They were one.

 

He moved her arms till they were stretched over her head. His fingers entangled with hers as he held her under him. His eyes never left hers as he began to thrust faster. Their sweat mixed as he pulled her to him. She wrapped her legs around him as he sat up. Seri began to ride him as she put her head on his shoulder. His hands helped rock her. Their breathing was becoming faster as she began to moan uncontrollably into his ear.

 

Len’s hands moved to her back. “What do you want baby?”

 

“Slow down Peaches. We have all night.”

 

“I know.” She rocked slower as his hands mover to cover her entire back. He never realized how tiny she was. “I need you.”

 

“I am yours.” With that he realized she needed to cum. She was holding back for him, but she needed the release. “I’ve got you baby.” He rocked her faster. His dick continued to hit her g-spot as her clit rubbed against him. She was moaning louder.

 

“I can’t slow down.”

 

“I know. I want to hear you cum.”

 

She started to rock harder. It was as if she couldn’t get enough of him. He was in her all the way up to the hilt. She wanted to be even more a part of him. To Len it felt like they were making love not only with their bodies but with their minds. Seri came mentally before she came physically. He felt her cum in his mind a good three minutes before he felt her walls spasm and clamp onto him. Her juices flooded him. His thighs and crotch were soaked. It threw him over the edge. He moaned into her neck. His thrusts were erratic as he emptied himself into her. He wanted to fill her completely, to know he was in her, a physical part of her.

 

“God that was intense.”

 

“It was. I think we ruined the blanket.”

 

She giggled. “Probably. I’ll throw it into the sonic cleaner tomorrow. That might work.” He was still in her. He was softer, but not enough to fall out. She tightened her walls around him.

 

“That’s nice.”

 

“So, you want to be a part of me even if you aren’t in me?”

 

“Yes.” His voice was a rough whisper.

 

“I love that feeling, but you know that. God this feels good. Can we just stay like this for a little while?”

 

“I don’t know how long before I fall out, but yes we can.”

 

“That doesn’t matter. I just like feeling your arms around me.”

 

They sat like that for twenty minutes. “Seri, we need to get some sleep.” She kissed his nose as she got up, got a towel and dried them off. “I like smelling you on me. I don’t want to take a shower tonight.”

 

“Neither do I. We can clean up in the morning.” Len locked the doors as Seri pulled down the covers.

 

“I might want to make love in the morning. Besides it is good for Jim to have a child jump on him. It will prepare him for fatherhood.”

 

“Many years from now.”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“I would love to make love in the morning. That way you’ll be in me all day.” Her smile was almost evil.

 

“Good night.” He smiled down as he slowly kissed her goodnight.

 

Morning came quickly. Jim awoke to the Betazoid sun flooding through his window in hues of orange and pink. It was worth it to see the city as he fell asleep. The clock showed 09:00. Something was wrong. He knew Len would have locked the bedroom door, and he had locked Jazined’s door. Why wasn’t Jo jumping on him like a monkey? Shit!

 

He jumped out of bed and went to Jo’s room. She was asleep in bed, but she wasn’t alone. A little grey ball of fur was asleep on her pillow. Neither of them woke up. He gently closed the door and went to the kitchen. “Good morning Jazined. How’s your head?”

 

“Very funny kid. Thanks for the water. I took something for the headache, but I shouldn’t have done what I did. I am going to pay for this today.”

 

“Talk to Len. He has a miracle in that bag of his. Want to see something adorable?” Jim motioned for him to follow.

 

Jim slowly opened Jo’s door. The puppy lifted its head then laid back down. Jazined smiled. “Just like Seriana. Do you think Len would let me give him to her? She seems to belong to him.”

 

Jim closed the door. “I don’t think he will say no. He owns a farm and I think his ex and her husband are going to move to the other farm.”

 

“The other farm?”

 

“We can show you. Len is thinking of purchasing the Tyler farm across from his place. They are horse breeders.”

 

“That sounds interesting. Do you think he would mind me seeing it?”

 

“I think he would love you to look at it. If he buys it, Joce and Evan would probably move into the one farm house. That way Jo can be close to the family.”

 

“That is generous of him.”

 

“I don’t know. I think Len will get as much out of it as they will. He loves Joce and likes Evan. I think he’ll grow to love him. They just met this week. Joce is a good woman. She and Seri are getting close.”

 

“Good for him. I will never have that.”

 

“You could, just maybe not here, and maybe not with your ex, but you can have that closeness with others. That baby likes you a lot; it’s a start.”

 

“I know. I just need to move past the feeling sorry for myself part of this divorce.”

 

“I think you will. Len and Seri should be up soon.”

 

“That doesn’t mean they’ll be down soon.”

 

“True. I’ve never seen to people as much in love as they are.”

 

“It’s what I wanted for my baby.” He placed a plate of fruit in front of Jim. “Don’t worry, there isn’t anything odd on the plate.” Jim started to eat. “I wanted to take you all into town. You would like the museum. It is next to the medical school Seriana attended. If you want you can see my offices, but you don’t have to; I know it could be boring.”

 

“No, I’m curious. You’re interesting.”

 

“That is a word for it. I would laugh but it would hurt.” He grabbed a large glass of juice and sat with Jim. “Don’t worry, I ate before you got up.”

 

Jim enjoyed the fruit. They could hear the little one coming down the steps.

 

Seri woke to the touch of her lover’s hand. He lightly rubbed her back as she slept. Slowly she turned into his arms. “Good morning Dr. McCoy.”

 

“Good morning Dr. Targan. Come here.” He held her tight. “We should take a shower and get ready. I know Jo has to be up.”

 

“I know.” They got up, brushed their teeth, went to the bathroom, and made love in the shower. It was going to be a beautiful day.

 

Jo stepped into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes, puppy at her heels. “Good morning Uncle Jim, good morning Granddad. Shadow wants to stay with me.”

 

“Good morning Princess. Does he now? Is that his name?”

 

“Yes. He came up to my bed last night and we slept together. He said he needs me. He is my shadow.”

 

“Alright Munchkin, but he has to stay here when we go to the city.”

 

“Actually, he doesn’t. He can come with us. The museum allows dogs if they are contained. We can put him in a carrier. Most restaurants have outdoor seating, he can be there, and I own the building my offices are in so Shadow will always be allowed.” Jo ran to her new grandfather and threw her arms around his neck.

 

“Thank you, granddad! Thank you! Thank you!” She kissed his cheek over and over. “Come on Shadow. It’s you and me today. We are going to have so much fun!” She started to run upstairs.

 

“Jo!”

 

“Yes, Uncle Jim.” She walked back to her uncle.

 

“Breakfast first. I think Shadow needs his as well. Why don’t you put him with his mommy, that way you can both eat before we leave?”

 

“Alright Uncle Jim.” Slowly she walked to the back room with Shadow.

 

Jazined snickered. “I don’t think you’re her favorite person right now.”

 

“Don’t worry kid, she’ll get over it. Good morning Jazined. If you don’t mind my saying that is one nasty looking hangover.”

 

“God, I use to be able to fake it. I really am getting old.”

 

_“Imzadi, can you bring down the number two hypo?”_

_“Jim having a bad morning?”_

_“Not Jim. Though I think he and your dad have more in common than we suspected”_

_“Not a problem, I’ll be right there.”_ Seri came into the kitchen carrying the orange hypo. “Morning dad. You look great. Morning Jim.” Len hit Jazined with the hypo.

 

“No sarcasm this morning young lady. Len, I need to ask you something.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is it alright if I give Jo a puppy. She seems to like the grey one.”

 

“Bones, she was sleeping with him on her pillow.”

 

“I have no problem with it. Her mother loves greyhounds. Jazined, you don’t have to do that.”

 

“I do. That baby is in love with that puppy, and I think he loves her. She already named him Shadow.”

 

“You know she has you wrapped around her finger.”

 

“I love these Earth sayings. I know that. I love it. I promised her we would take Shadow with us today. There is a carrier in the puppy room. It looks like a backpack, but the one side is mesh. Seri, she is you at that age.”

 

“I know. Morning Jo.” The little girl came back into the room.

 

“Good morning Aunt Seri. Good morning Daddy.” She gave both of they a big hug. “Granddad says I can take Shadow with us today!”

 

“Alright Turtle.”

 

“Princess can you come here please.” Jazined moved his chair back. She crawled up into his lap. “I have a very serious question to ask you.”

 

“Alright Granddad.” She looked nervous.

 

“I think Shadow needs a very special person to be **his** person. I was wondering if you would mind taking care of him?”

 

“I’ll take care of him while we are here. I’ll make sure he is fed, I’ll give him a bath. I’ll take him out to go to the bathroom.”

 

“That is great, but I mean for the rest of his life.”

 

Jo’s eyes got huge. She looked at her father. He smiled at her. “Really?! I will love him forever!! I promise I will always take care of him! Thank you, granddad!”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to Joce and Evan. If they can’t take him I know Mama and George will. She can’t say no to a puppy.”

 

“Jojo.”

 

“Yes, Uncle Jim?”

 

“Breakfast.”

 

“Okay.” Seri got Jo and her a quick breakfast of fruit while the guys finished their cups of coffee.

 

Once she was done Jo ran to her room to get dressed. “We should get ready to leave. How are you feeling sir?”

 

“You should market that stuff. I feel great. Len you are a miracle worker. Seri, you are never allowed to leave this man.”

 

Jim grabbed Shadow and the backpack. He checked the pockets. There were poop bags, two collapsible dog bowls, a small bag of puppy food, and a bottle of water. “Bones, I’ve got everything.”

 

Len walked back to the puppy room. “Jim, do you think I’m doing okay?”

 

“More than okay. He likes you. I think he is warming to me. I just want to make everything easy for Seri.”

 

“Please be yourself. Seri has been telling him all about us. We talked.”

 

“I talked with him last night. I’m not looking forward to meeting her mother.”

 

“You don’t have to meet her. You can help keep Jo away. Seri doesn’t want Jo anywhere near her mother or sister.”

 

“I’ll see what Jazined wants to do. We should join the others. Thank you again for including me.”

 

“I needed you. It was Seri’s dad’s invitation. But I’m glad we were included. Jo is happy.”

 

“She just got a puppy.”

 

“Seri warned me about that earlier. He couldn’t say no to her. I know he isn’t trying to buy her.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Look at how he looks at her, like she is his granddaughter. Seri has been telling him all about Jo as well. I think he liked her before she got here. The wedding should be fun.”

 

Jim smirked as he walked behind Len to the kitchen. “It will be.”

 

Jazined had a small leash and harness. He put them on Shadow. “Here baby. You can hold him until we get to the museum. Then he will have to go into the pack.”

 

Jo put her arms out and snuggled Shadow to her. “Come here baby. We are going to the museum. Don’t worry we will be together always.” She continued to talk to Shadow as she followed her father to the hovercraft.

 

“I gave the staff off today. They have been working hard this past week packing for your mother and cleaning. I’ll drive. Jim, would you like to ride up here?”

 

Jim got into the passenger seat and Jo bucked into her special seat. Len and Seri got into the back, it gave shadow more room if he needed it. The ride into the city only took a half an hour. Betazed was beautiful, colorful gardens and artwork dotted the landscape.

 

Jazined pulled up to a massive stone building. The outside was carved with large stone structures of various mythological creatures. A valet came and took the vehicle. Seri stepped next to Len. “Let’s go. Jo, there are places you can talk to the exhibits.”

 

Jo looked up at Mr. Targan. “How can you talk to the exhibits?”

 

“You talk and they show you what you ask to see. I’ll show you. Let’s let Shadow go to the bathroom and then put him in the pack.” Jo put the puppy down on the grass, as soon as he was done Len put him in the pack.

 

“Jo, I’ll carry Shadow. This pack is as big as you.”

 

“Alright daddy, just be careful.” They walked through to great doors that opened as soon as they got near. Jo’s mouth dropped open. “Uncle Jim, did you see how big those doors were?”

 

“Yes Munchkin. I wonder if a giant made them.”

 

“Uncle Jim, you’re silly.” Jazined took them to rooms filled with everything from pottery to mummies. Jo was enthralled with everything. They walked around the building for hours. They even had to take Shadow out to get him water and have him go to the bathroom.

 

“Jo, I saved the best for last. This is the room of wigs and hats. You can make them do things.” Jazined was having the best day he had had in decades. The wonder in this child’s eyes reminded him that not everyone in the universe was jaded. They walked in to the room. It was almost completely dark. Slowly a lite came up over a large hat in the middle of the room. There were feathers all over it. It also had a hole in the middle of the feathers. “Jo, ask it to show you the bird.”

 

Seri took Len’s hand. Jim moved up next to her. The three had spent the entire time watching Jo. Jo walked up to the hat. “Show me the bird.”  With that a bird in a cage appeared in the middle of the hole. The narrator told the story of how the noble women wore these for centuries until it was deemed cruel to the animal and they agreed to stop the tradition. Each hat in the room held a different animal and a different story of the family associated with the hat.

 

Seri walked up behind Jo. “This one is from my family. We are from the third house of Betazed. See it holds a white bird.” Jo asked it to show her the bird and a white bird appeared in a gold cage.  Jo was amazed by all of the interactive displays. She asked all kinds of question, and the narrator answered. She found out a lot about the third house, how according to tradition when Seri’s mother dies her sister takes over the family.

 

“Aunt Seri, does that mean you have to do what your sister tells you to do?”

 

“No baby. I’m a grown-up.”

 

“Do I have to do what she tells me to do?”

 

“No, you don’t. Jo, you won’t meet them so don’t worry.”

 

Jo smiled. “Granddad, I’m hungry.”

 

“Alright baby. Let’s go to The Kitchen. It has outdoor seating so Shadow can eat with us. It isn’t far, we can walk.” Seri took Len’s hand. When they got outside Jo took Shadow.

 

Jim had been watching the family. He wished he had a family like that. “You do you know?” Jazined was walking next to Jim.

 

“I do what?”

 

“You aren’t blocking your thoughts.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It isn’t a bad thing, but you don’t seem to realize this is your family. You aren’t an outsider.”

 

They walked to the restaurant and got an outside table. Jim took Shadow’s water and food bowls out of the carrier. He gave the puppy is afternoon meal. The waiter came. The menus were handed out. It didn’t take long for them to order and for food to arrive. The Shadow happily ate and drank, then laid at Jo’s feet.

 

“Dad, are we going to your office?”

 

“It might be boring for Jo.”

 

“Please granddad, can’t we go? Uncle George lets me go to his. He is a lawyer like you.”

 

“Alright baby. We’ll go.” Jim smiled at Jazined. He was captivated by her the same way Jim was. She was the picture of innocence. One day it would change, but for now everything was an adventure. She trusted them to keep her safe. She was safe in a way he had never been.

 

Once they finished lunch they walked back to the valet. The craft was brought around and they all piled in. They drove deeper into the city. “See those buildings there, that is where Seriana went to medical school. It is named after the Troy family. They are the fifth house, and set up the endowment that keeps it going.” He gave them a tour of the city as they drove toward his building. He pulled up to a thirty-story building. “We’re here. Jo, can you carry Shadow till we get to my office?”

 

She picked up the puppy. They exited the vehicle and a man came to take it. “Will you be long Mr. Targan?”

 

“Not very, just showing my family around.”

 

“Very good.” He looked the group up and down. Earthlings were rarely seen.

 

They walked through the lobby. Several people nodded to Mr. Targan. Jim walked next to him. “It’s as if you are important or something.”

 

Jazined loved the teasing. “Yeah, if they only knew.” They took the elevator to the top floor. The older man punched in a code and the door opened into a private office suite. “This is my office on Betazed. It looks out over the city. If you come here, there is a solarium. There is a bedroom and bathroom on the other side. It comes in handy some days.” Jim looked at him.

 

The solarium was filled with many of the plants found on the Targan estate. “Granddad, is it safe for Shadow?”

 

“Yes, there is no way for him to get out, and there is nothing bad for him in here.”

 

“Jazined this is magnificent.” Len was looking out of the windows. “We don’t have this in my town.”

 

“I have a feeling your town is beautiful.”

 

Len pulled him aside. “Do you have any cases pending?”

 

“Not here. My associates are working a few. I monitor them, but none of them are mine. To be frank they are too easy for me. They are good for the others to learn from. Why?”

 

“Come home with us. I want you to see our world.”

 

“I don’t want to impose.”

 

“You won’t be, and I would love to hear your input about the horse farm. Besides, I know Uncle George would love to meet you. You two have a lot in common.”

 

“I might take you up on that my boy. Thank you.”

 

“Just give it some thought.” They spent over an hour with Jo exploring every inch of his office. She had questions about everything. Once they were done, the car was brought around and they went back to the house. Jo fed Shadow and Seri got food for all of them.

 

“Thank you, dad. Everyone had a great time. Len loved watching Jo.”

 

“I understand that. Dads and daughters, it is a very special relationship.”

 

“I know.” She gave her dad a kiss on the cheek. “The wedding will be fun. It will be good to see everyone.”

 

“And to see Len’s reaction. I know you Seriana.”

 

“Yes, you do. Jo, we all need to get to bed early so we can get ready for the wedding it is an early wedding with a luncheon. Would you like me to do your hair?”

 

“Could you Aunt Seri? I want fancy braids.”

 

“Not a problem baby.”

 

Seri’s dad went to check his PAAD as Len used his to let Joce know about the puppy. She was almost as excited as Jo. “Seriana, may I speak with you?” They walked into the library. “Your mother and sister are coming here after the reception. She said she doesn’t need to wait to see her own daughter.”

 

“Can you take Jo out after the reception. Maybe come get Shadow and take Jim and her to the park?”

 

“That sounds like a good idea, or maybe riding. I want Len to stay with you. After this we need to talk about something.”

 

“Is there anything wrong?”

 

“No baby. Just some things you need to know. Len invited me to his home.”

 

“You should go! You would fit in there.”

 

“That would be a novel feeling. I might take him up on the offer before any cases come in that I might want.” The look on his daughter’s face made up his mind for him. It looked like he was going back to Georgia. “Len…” He walked over to the boy.

 

Len looked up from his PADD. “Yes? Oh, I think Joce is almost more excited about the puppy than Jo.”

 

“That is great. You seem to have a good friend there.”

 

“I do. She still worries about me. I do give her reason to at times.”

 

“It seems I’m going home with you.”

 

“You shouldn’t feel you have to. I mean I would love to have you for as long as you want to stay, but I don’t want you to feel forced into it.”

 

“Son, since the day I got married, no one has ever made me do what I don’t want to do. I’ll book a room nearby. I have a few weeks before I need to get back. It will give Lenoxia time to remove her belongings.”

 

“No, you’ll stay with us. I want you to, and my mother will kill me if you stay at a hotel.”

 

“I don’t want to impose.”

 

“You wouldn’t be. And she loves a packed house. Can we talk tonight? I know Seri wants to go to sleep early, but I want to show you the horse farm and go over the numbers. It never hurts to have another professional opinion.”

 

“That is not a problem. It takes Seriana a lot longer to get ready than it will take us. We don’t have to be up until 08:00. Meet me in the library after you get our ladies to bed.”

 

“Yes sir. Jo, bedtime. Take Shadow out.”  Jo got the puppy from the puppy room and took him out side. It wasn’t very long before they came back in. “You have to house break him baby. He needs you to teach him to go outside. We’ll help you baby.”

 

“Thank you, daddy. I think he will learn fast.”

 

Seri, Jo, and Len started to bed. “Don’t worry Bones, I’ll be up soon.” Jim walked outside, Jazined followed.

 

“It is beautiful, isn’t it?”

 

“It is. I could hear the mukluk on the side of the house. I promised Jo I would show her one.”

 

“We have quite a few. They are one of the few plants that are safe for export. They aren’t invasive.”

 

“Forgive me, but you seem interested in sending things away from here.”

 

“You are annoyingly observant.” He was smiling.

 

“Not according to your daughter.”

 

“I am seriously considering renting this to the government. They have been on me to rent it to them to house diplomats. Jim, I never liked it here. It’s too big, and frankly it is cold. I’m rarely on planet these days.”

 

“You’re choice?”

 

“Yes. I hated coming home. Now I come home to an empty museum. If it wasn’t for Cordelia I would be alone at night.”

 

“Do you travel with her.”

 

“When she isn’t pregnant, yes. I have takers for the puppies. They will leave in the next couple of weeks. I’m not breeding her again.”

 

“Are you keeping any of the litter?”

 

“No, I gave my one to Jo. It isn’t fair to breed if you aren’t there. They are all going to loving homes.”

 

“I have a feeling Shadow got the best deal.”

 

“Probably. I am just on the fence about leasing this place.”

 

“It isn’t an easy decision. What makes it hard?”

 

“I don’t know. I suppose tradition and familiarity.” Len joined them. “Let’s go to the library. It is the one comfortable room in the house.”

 

“Bones, Mr. Targan was talking about leasing this place.”

 

“You’re still thinking about that? How long have you thought about it?”

 

“I have seriously been thinking about it since Seriana moved out. I see Jim’s point, tradition and familiarity aren’t enough to stay. Thank you both. I needed to talk it out. I’ll get it ready and they can take over as soon as possible. I think I just needed this push. I’ll talk to Seriana after the wedding. Once her mother leaves we can go over the particulars. Funny, I’ve been worried about it and now I feel lighter.”

 

“Sir, I know we just met.”

 

“Len, we have been in each other’s lives for a year. I doubt there is nothing my daughter knows about me that you don’t know. I may not know all about you, but I know quite a lot.”

 

“I take your point. I always found decisions are easier if you have family helping you.”

 

“You’re right of course. I never had that. My cousins are nice enough but they can’t help.”

 

Jim joined in. “You mean they can’t keep up. I get that. I think that is why Seri wanted you to meet the family. Trust me they can keep up.”

 

“Then I am glad I’m going. Don’t worry I promise not to read their thoughts or emotions.”

 

“My mother will appreciate that. Wait till you meet Cal. She’s a trip.”

 

_“I love her Mr. Targan. Len doesn’t know, but I love his baby sister. She is a lot like Len and Seri.”_

It was after 23:00 when the men released what time it was. “We should go to bed. The wedding is early and then there is the reception. Jim, I thought we could take Jo riding after. That will keep her away from Lenoxia. You do ride?”

 

“Yes, sir I do. That sounds like a good idea.”

 

“There is a farm not too far from here. It is there for off worlders, but I go riding at least once a month.”

 

“Jo will love it.”

 

“Len, keep an eye on Seriana. She doesn’t know it, but she can attack her mother mentally. Please don’t let her.”

 

“What do you mean?” Jazined told Leonard about how Betazoids like he and his daughter could mentally destroy people. Seri didn’t know she could do it, but he could feel it in her. He was going to talk to her about it when he had the time to also give her tips on controlling it. “Sir, I don’t know how I can stop her if I need to do that.”

 

“You may be the only person capable of doing it. You’re bonded. Only you will be able to breakthrough to her if it gets that bad. It probably won’t, but I needed to warn you. I’m going to have Tachin take Shadow for the day. Lenoxia wants that puppy so she can sell him.”

 

“Wouldn’t Kenakin be more intimidating?”

 

Jazined started to laugh. “You have no idea how Tachin can get if she thinks someone is trying to hurt one of her babies. Seriana is her baby, and she hates Lenoxia. I wouldn’t take her on. We really do need to get to bed. We have at least a week to get to know each other properly. Do you mind if we go over the farm a little later? I would like to read over the specs.”

 

“Not at all sir. I have a couple weeks before I have to give them an offer.”

 

Jim smiled. “We do need a good night’s rest, we want to look our best tomorrow.”

 

“Yes, Jim we do.” In that moment Jim realized Seri’s father had taken him in. He gave the kid a look of disapproval only a father could give. Funny he had gone from a man with no family, to now having a complete family. If things kept going the way they were he and Len would have two fathers to keep them in line.

 

They all went to bed. Len checked on Jo before he went to their room and climbed under the covers with Seri. She smelled like peaches, even on this planet. Len prayed that what Mr. Targan told him could happen wouldn’t, but if Lenoxia attacked one of them he didn’t know what would happen. It didn’t matter, her dad was right, they were bonded. There was nothing they couldn’t survive as long as they were together. Seri cuddled into his side. He kissed her on the top of the head and closed his eyes. It had been a wonderful two days.


	52. chapter 52

Jim kept his eye on Len. The doctor was holding his fiancé’s hand and had his daughter leaning against his side. Cal slipped her hand into Jim’s. “He’ll get through this Jimmy.”

 

“I know.”

 

“So, will you. I commed Sarah and Jazined they know we are on our way.”

 

“Colm will meet us with the hearse and cars. I told him when we were leaving. He told me not to worry about anything.”

 

“He told you that? After all these years I thought he knew you better.” He looked into her eyes. She was keeping things light to keep him steady. It worked, for now. “Knowing Sarah, the chapel is already decorated. She is meticulous.”

 

“She is. I need to do Christmas shopping when we get back. I picked up a few things, but I need to get something for Jazined and Jayla. He will be harder, what do you get someone that can literally get anything he wants?”

 

“Get him something from the heart. You do that with Len, do it with him as well. You’ve gotten him things before.

 

“Usually they are from new worlds.”

 

The ride home was uneventful. There was small talk, nothing of consequence. Jo got up and walked to Scotty. Len watched as they talked and she gave him a huge smile and a kiss on the cheek. She walked back and took her seat. “What was that about Turtle?”

 

“Nothing, I just needed to ask Uncle Scotty a question. Don’t feel left out, I have one for you after the funeral. I just needed his answer first.” Len scrutinized his daughter; she was definitely up to something.

 

“Does your mother know we are on our way?”

 

“I let her know we were leaving at 08:00. I know Uncle Jim, if he said that was the time we were leaving, then that was the time we were leaving. They will meet us at the farm. Mitch and Crystal are in school so it will at least be quiet when we get there. They are excited about you coming home.”

 

“I do like being the Uncle with those two. They make me laugh. Your mother is worried?”

 

“Of course. Next to Evan you are her best friend. She worries about you.”

 

“God knows I give her enough cause.” Jo smiled. She still couldn’t sort out her father’s emotions, but she knew they were definitely all tangled together. She would talk to granddad about it later. He would help her sort it out.

 

The lights flashed as the shuttle entered into a landing pattern. The shuttle port had been shut down until after the mourners left. Seri looked out of the side window as they banked toward the pad. There had to be a thousand people down there. “Len, look.”

 

Len looked out of the window. “It looks like the entire town is down there.”

 

“It will help Kat.”

 

“Will it? It seems like a lot of commotion.”

 

“I doubt they will be disrespectful, and as at the Academy, it will do her good to see how much her son is respected. Are you alright with this.”

 

“Yes.” Mentally Seri let Jim know what was going on.

 

The shuttle came to rest on the pad. Jim stood quickly and immediately got everyone’s attention. “It looks like half the town turned out to pay their respects. We need to exit the shuttle much in the same way we did at the Academy. This needs to show the same level of respect that was shown there, the same level of formality. I would like Len and Hikaru at the front, ladies in the middle, and Spock and Scotty at the back. I’ll lead him out, family behind.” He walked up to Kat. “Please go to the car as quickly as possible. Most of the people are from here, but I can guarantee you the press is as well.”

 

“Jim, it’s alright. I understand.” She stroked his cheek the way she did when they were kids at the Academy.

 

Sulu smoothed the flag over the casket. He hadn’t said much. Jim knew he would open to Ben later. The captain looked around. The pall bearers had the casket ready to depart the shuttle. Mama and George had Kat between them, Jayla, Jo, and Cal lined up behind them and Ben took Demora’s hand and positioned them at the rear. Jim walked to the front of the casket and signaled for the back-bay doors to open. As they opened a ramp lowered directly in front of the group.

 

Colm had a deep blue carpet leading to the hearse. He looked at Jim and nodded once. Jim led the pall bearers to the hearse. It was just far enough from the shuttle to give the crowd a very quick glimpse. Jim could hear some of the people crying as the casket was carefully loaded into the hearse. The family was already in the waiting cars when the group turned toward them. All but Jim got into the second limousine.

 

Jim went to Colm. “Hey, thanks for all of this.”

 

“Jimmy it is alright. He was a good kid. Sorry about this, but we couldn’t keep them away. The town has been in mourning ever since we got the word.”

 

“It’s fine. I think his mother needs to see it. She needs to know how he touched everyone.”

 

“Jim, please don’t worry about anything. We’ll get to the chapel. I’ll set him up once you all put him on the stand. Open or closed?”

 

“What?”

 

“The casket.”

 

“Closed I think, unless his mother wants something else. We all said our goodbyes.”

 

“Got it. Is the honor guard set?”

 

“Yes, I have the schedule. What time is the funeral?”

 

“We thought it could start at 10:00. You said his mother wanted a simple service. Jake and Rob have men ready to close the grave after the interment.”

 

“Colm thanks again for everything. I don’t know what I would have done without your help.”

 

“Jim, you never have to worry about anything. The town takes care of their own. Sarah has people here to take the luggage to the farm.”

 

They shook hands. Jim got in the limo as Colm got into the front of the hearse. There were two police motorcycles to lead them. The cortege left the port. No one expected what they saw on their way to the farm. People lined the roads and the overpasses. Starfleet flags hung from light posts. People threw flowers at the hearse. They had to pull over once to remove some of them so the driver could see.

 

It took a lot longer than usual to get to the farm. The cars pulled into the drive and followed the paved turnoff to the chapel. The vehicles lined up in front of the white building. As the casket was being removed the newly restored bell sounded a slow steady knell. Pavel was carried slowly up the center aisle and placed on the bier at the front.

 

They all stood back as Colm adjusted the Starfleet flag and repositioned a couple of the floral arrangements. Everything looked eerily picture perfect. Colm offered his condolences to Mrs. Chekov. He led her to her son. As he took a step back she could barely be heard talking to her baby. She lifted the flag and kissed the casket. George and Lena walked to her side and led he to the waiting car. Scotty took his place at the head of the casket as the rest left to go to the house.

 

The drive was silent as they pulled up to the front steps. Everyone exited the vehicles; Len did not walk up the stairs. He waited for the others to go first. Seri stayed with him, but signaled for Jo to go in. “Len?”

 

“I…none of this makes sense.”

 

“You’re right, it doesn’t make sense. But it is what is happening. Let’s go in and relax.”

 

He looked into her black eyes. She was his anchor. “Alright, let’s go.” He walked up the front steps and opened the door. The house smelled of Christmas. The smell of pine and bayberry mixed with holly berry and vanilla. The entire house was decorated for the season. Sarah had done an exceptional job.

 

There was magnolia leaf garland around the front door and a wreath with winterberry hanging from it. Thick pine garland decorated the staircase. There were ribbons of burgundy and gold, holly sprigs, and orange pomanders interspersed in the garland. The garland over the door frames complemented the garland on the staircase. He could see the large tree with all of the family ornaments in the music room. The fireplaces were lit in the dining room and the music room.

 

The dining room had food for a late lunch laid out. Christmas decorations hung from the chandelier and were carefully strewn across the table and the buffet. The addition was complete. Len walked back through the entryway and headed straight back to what used to be the rear of the house. Now there was a gallery with rooms on the left-hand side and family portraits adorning the walls on the right.  He knew from the designs that room farthest back was a solarium and that the other rooms consisted of three offices and a half bath. It all looked as if it had always been there. Nothing seemed anachronistic or in any way out of place.

 

The door at the back of the new hall was glass and looked out over the peach grove. Len put his hands on the panes. They were cold. Evan said it was going to be a cold winter. He went back to the entryway and snuck up the stairs. He hoped no one had seen him. Seri had found her dad as soon as they walked in. He wanted her to have time alone with him. Besides he was starting to feel claustrophobic.

 

He opened the door to their room. The fire was lit and there was the smell of frankincense. Sarah knew he loved the smell and most likely threw some onto the fire, it could be cleaned up later. The flames jumped as he watched them. The door to the hallway closed. Len had been waiting for this. “Hey you.”

 

“Hey yourself.” He looked from the fire to her. She walked to him and pulled him to her. He started to cry, really cry.

 

“Sarah, it hurts. It physically hurts and I can’t make it stop.” He clung to her like a life line from a ship.

 

“I know. I do know big brother. I have you.” She sat him on the couch and continued to hold him as she rocked him in her arms. A hand rubbed his back as she hummed a song from their childhood; her head rested on his. “It’s alright Lenny, I’m here for you.”

 

“Please don’t tell anyone. Please Sarah.”

 

“Shhhhh, it’s alright sweetie. I won’t say anything.” He was having a hard time breathing as the sobs continued to rack his chest. It reminded Sarah of when her brother died. She felt the way Len did. That pain that hits your chest and stomach, that pain that won’t go away, she was all too familiar with it.

 

He clutched at the arm she had wrapped around him. “Please make it stop.”

 

“I wish I could. Just let it go. It helps.” Seri had commed a quick explanation of what had happened to Sarah. He was going through more than Sarah could imagine, but at least she understood how the pain felt. “I have you. You’re safe with me.”

 

The sobs continued as she held on to him. She had known him her entire life yet she had never seen him like this. The divorce wasn’t this bad, and that had been a nightmare. “Don’t let go.”

 

“I’m not letting go.” Sarah saw Seri open the door, but Len didn’t notice. Seri gave a weak smile to Sarah and quietly closed the door.

 

Seri had felt him lose control, she also felt he was with someone he trusted and loved. That it was Sarah made Seri feel secure enough to go back to her father. She needed to be with him. She needed to talk. She had decided to talk to Lena and him. The counselor needed time to heal.

 

Len cried until he was almost too weak to move. He sat up and frantically tried to rub the tears from his face. “I am so sorry sweetie. You don’t need this.”

 

She gently brushed the tears away. “Don’t do that. You don’t get to be sorry about this. You’re my brother. You always take care of me. I felt honored that you trusted me. Sorry that isn’t the correct word but you know what I mean.”

 

“I do. I can’t seem to stop crying.”

 

“Don’t try. You’ll get back to normal eventually. Until then, let us take care of you.”

 

“And Jim. He is going to implode soon, I can feel it.”

 

“Good, then you two can be a matched set. How is Seri doing?”

 

“Not great. I’m not much help right now. She is so tired, exhausted actually.”

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of her. I have my staff taking care of the crew and Mrs. Chekov.”

 

“I knew you would take care of everything.” His voice was still strained.

 

“Give me a minute.” She went to the bathroom and came back with a cold, damp, washcloth. It was gently placed over his eyes as she rubbed his arm. Sarah remembered how physical contact made her feel better during the worst days of her life. “Let me get this.” She took the cloth, waved it around, folded it and put it back over his eyes.

 

“Thanks, that feels good. Don’t worry, this will never happen again.”

 

“Please don’t say that. You don’t know what the future holds, and I want you to feel secure enough to lean on me.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“The pain does go away eventually. It is gradual, but it does happen.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Do you?” He removed the cloth and looked at her.

 

Len stood up and went to the dresser to take out some clothes. He couldn’t stand the uniform anymore. Without thinking he took off the dress uniform and threw on heavy grey twill pants and a long-sleeved wine-colored button down. She threw the uniform onto a hanger and sat again. “I do. I just don’t feel it right now.”

 

Sarah looked at him and smiled. “You know half the women in town would still like to have gotten the view I just had.”

 

“Hell, you had the whole view before. I didn’t think it mattered, not after what we’ve been through.”

 

“Nope, it doesn’t, but I can still find it funny.” Sarah walked up to Len. He towered over her. “We have this sweetie. I know you, you cry when you can’t do anything else. You have always been like that. Tomorrow will give you some closure. Time will give you peace.”

 

“Will it?”

 

“Eventually. We should go down. The kids, sorry the house staff, are getting everyone settled into their rooms. I put Ben and Hikaru, Scotty and Jayla, and Nyota and Spock in three of the guest houses. Jo’s princess bed was put into the one for Demora.”

 

“I don’t think Scotty is sleeping with Jayla.”

 

“He should be. There are two bedrooms in that one so they don’t have to. If he says anything I can play innocent. Adam and Jen are coming tonight. I have them in the blue room. Joe and Manaia have the rose room. Sarek is in with Spock and Nyota. Mrs. Chekov has Cal’s suite. I am assuming Cal is in Jim’s. Rory and June will have the yellow room. Mr. Targan has the bedroom at the end of the extension. It has a private balcony that looks out across the orchard.”

 

“That room isn’t color coded?”

 

“Very funny. Christine and her husband are in the smaller of the new bedrooms. She said they were only staying tonight, but will be back for the wedding. George and Jazined rented out the hotel for the rest of the out of town people. There are a lot.”

 

“It is supposed to be family only.”

 

“It is. There is Shani, also Owen and Tucker. They are bringing Rebecca and Meghan if they can get child care. No one trusts those kids on their own. George told them about the pall bearer situation, you know that you wanted both families represented. Rory and Jake volunteered. Tucker and Owen will take care of the valet duties. I don’t trust the house kids with that, they will make sure the house is set up. Nadia will be here to make sure the catering is correct and put out for the luncheon. Teresa took care of the flowers, so that is done. I left two bedrooms empty just in case. Oh yeah, Carol Marcus is taking one of them. I almost forgot. I thought I would give her Jo’s old room. Don’t worry it isn’t decorated for a little girl anymore. I can’t think of anything else, can you?”

 

Len looked like a deer in the headlights. “No.”

 

“I told you we had this. Rob has the ceremony done, and St. Basil’s is sending some of its choir and its organist. Oh, the organ is fixed.” She smiled.

 

“You should hire your services out.”

 

“I don’t know. I like my employer.”

 

“And I thank God for that. Sarah, thank you for everything. I wouldn’t have thought of half of what you did.”

 

“If you think this is good, you should see what I do with a wedding.”

 

“I will. I bet you already have everything in hand.”

 

“Not everything, but almost. We should go down.”

 

“How do my eyes look?”

 

“You’re good.” They walked down the back steps and quietly joined the gang. People continued to arrive as everyone began to relax.

 

Jim had stopped talking, but Len didn’t push it. He knew Jim needed to get through the funeral, talking would be counterproductive. Cal would keep him safe. This would be the first time they didn’t hide sleeping together under this roof. Len started to walk around the house. Mama had told him that Sarah had been redecorating. Mama let her have fun. She didn’t touch their bedrooms, but the rest of the house was her playground.

 

There were paintings hanging in all of the formal rooms. Paintings of his ancestors, and a couple of Seri’s and George’s as well. In one of the new offices there was a painting of George Kirk. The Vermeer hung in the formal living room across from the Manet. Obviously, Sarah had exchanged some of the works that were on loan to museums. In the larger office hung Len’s favorite work, not because it was a master work, or it was old, he liked it because if you stood in the right spot the grey blob on the floor turned into a skull. He had a feeling it was hung in there because it was Jim’s office. She had to do it because the painting was called The Ambassadors; Sarah could be more of a smartass than anyone else he knew. It helped that the ceilings on the ground floor were fifteen feet high. It made sense that Jim would have the single office. He needed to be able to communicate with Starfleet in complete privacy.

 

 

Len, Evan, Jake, and Jim had all agreed that the addition should have similar dimensions to the rest of the downstairs. The high ceilings were a part of that. The offices all had dark wood trim. Jim’s office had a green marble mantel. Len’s office was the one closest to the solarium. There was a partners’ desk in the middle of the room, much like the one in George and Jazined’s. His fireplace had a carved ebony mantel with The Starry Night Over the Rhone hanging above it. Before he could say anything, he noticed it was a gas fireplace the same as Jim’s. Evan and Jake thought of everything

 

Mama converted the old back sunroom into an office for Cal and her. It was lighter than the other ones. The mantel was a golden oak with maple inlays. Over it hung the Agasse, Study of a Greyhound. The partners’ desk was also a golden oak with inlays on the drawers. Sarah had sent a lot of the artwork they had hanging before to the museums she took these from, it was a good exchange. “How do you like the redecoration?” Lena saw him standing in the office taking it all in.

 

“She has a real talent. I’m surprised she was able to pry the Vermeer out of the curator’s hands.”

 

“It was a struggle. She almost had to sick George on them.”

 

“Mama, I don’t know if I can do this.”

 

“You can. It won’t be easy, but you’ll do it. Kat is holding up, tomorrow will be tough.”

 

“I know. Seri is exhausted.”

 

“She is. She asked to talk to me.”

 

“Good, she needs the support. I know she is talking to her dad. She is telling him what they did to me. I can hear her in my head.”

 

“Can you block her?”

 

“I can block her. But it isn’t bothering me. He can know. He won’t look at me as a...I don’t know.”

 

“Damaged person?”

 

“A permanently damaged person.”

 

“You know he loves you a great deal. None of us see you that way.”

 

“I know. And I know you will find out what happened if you are talking to Seri.”

 

“I won’t if you don’t want me to do it.”

 

“No, its okay. What time is it?”

 

“It’s 20:30, why?”

 

“Damn, I must have been talking to Sarah longer than I thought.”

 

“It is alright. Everyone got in and is settled. They are going to bed early. It will be a long day tomorrow. Joce and Evan are waiting for you in the solarium. They didn’t want to have a crowd around.”

 

“I understand. She is worried.”

 

“So is he.”

 

“I’ll go back. Thanks Mama.” He kissed her on the cheek and slowly walked down the gallery.

 

Joce turned abruptly when she heard the door open. “Oh, God Donkey. I’m so sorry.” She threw her arms around his neck as he wrapped her in his.

 

“It’s alright.”

 

“No, it isn’t.” She was trying not to cry. She had lived the past couple weeks in a constant state of fear, so had Evan but he was trying to hold himself together for her and Jo.

 

“Joce, I’m okay, see.” He held her back a little so she could see him.

 

“No, you aren’t. You’ve been crying.” Len looked concerned. “Don’t worry there aren’t many who can tell. I’m sorry, I just needed to see you.”

 

“It’s alright. I needed to see both of you. I just need to get through tomorrow.”

 

Evan took a step forward. “You will. Joce, can you get Jo settled and get the other two to bed. She is staying in the last bedroom upstairs. She said she wants to be here in case any of you need her.”

 

“She is scared.”

 

“A little. Joce?”

 

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow Donkey.” They hugged and kissed each other before she left the men alone. Joce wasn’t stupid, she knew Evan wanted time alone with Len. The kids needed to go to bed. She saw to Jo before she grabbed Crystle and Mitch. They would most likely be in bed before Evan got home.

 

Evan looked at the fire in the fireplace. He had turned it on when they entered the room. Len joined him. “This feels familiar. Len, when you are ready I’m here for you.”

 

“I know. I want to tell you what happened, but not yet. I wasn’t kidding, I don’t know if I can get through tomorrow.”

 

Evan turned to Len. “You can. I know you were hiding tonight. Jim is even worse. He has retreated into his head.”

 

“I know. He thinks all of this is his fault.”

 

“That is normal.”

 

“Normal, but not accurate.”

 

“I thought you and I could go for a hike after tomorrow, maybe clear your head a little.”

 

“Just us?”

 

“It doesn’t have to be.”

 

“No, I want it to be. I want to…”

 

“Not have to be lord of the manor.”

 

“Funny, but accurate. Even if it is just for the hike. I know it is selfish.”

 

“It isn’t. Just us. Then you can tell me anything you want to say.” He hugged Len, who gratefully returned the embrace. Most people hated their ex’s new spouse, not Len. He and Evan had grown to love each other. When Evan’s brother was killed on Vulcan it was Len who made the call. As soon as they returned to Earth and were debriefed Len went to Evan. He was at the moon colony. Len went to him and brought him back to Georgia. Jim, Seri, and Cal joined them there. It was a difficult time, but they men developed a deep understanding of each other on that trip.

 

“You should get home, and I don’t want to start crying again.”

 

“I hear you. If you need me call. I don’t care what time it is. I’ll help keep an eye on Jim.”

 

“Thanks. Night Evan.”

 

“Night Len.” Evan left. Len looked at the antique mantel clock on the side table. It was already 22:00. He must have been talking to them longer than he realized. Time had been getting away from him all night, but if felt good to see and hold both of them.

 

When he walked to the dining room he noticed everyone had left. That was good. No matter how much he cared about or loved the people there, he couldn’t handle having that many people around him. He grabbed his coat out of the hall closet and left the house through the kitchen door.

 

The walk to the chapel helped him clear his head. The stain glass windows glowed yellow through the trees. The building looked like an oil painting. It would look festive if it wasn’t for what was inside. Len reached the red front door. Why were so many church door’s painted red? He promised he would research it. He opened the door then turned to close it to keep out the cold.

 

Len took a few steps into the chapel. It smelled of Casablanca lilies and roses; candles threw their golden hue over the sanctuary. The honor guard stood at attention in front of the casket. He took off his coat and threw it on the first pew, then walked over to Adam. “Go get some rest. I have this shift.”

 

“You aren’t in uniform.” He wanted Len to rest, not spend his time guarding Pavel. “I’m not tired. You should get some rest.” Len stared at him. “Sulu will be here in two hours. Good night Len.”

 

“Good night Adam.” The chief was right, he wasn’t in his dress uniform. Somehow, he doubted Pavel would mind the pants and wine button-down shirt. He needed this time alone with him. Just to sit and think. He should stand at the head of the casket.

 

Quietly he stood and walked to the black box. His hands ran under the flag. Fingers skimmed along the top of the lid feeling the sharp edges of the engraving. Tears stung at his eyes as his fingers memorized every bump and groove on his friend’s final bed. “Why did you do it? I know they said the Mylans would not have taken me first, but we don’t know that for sure. You would say because of Jo or because of Seri. You would say it was because you loved me. Well, fuck you. I loved you too. You had your whole fucking life ahead of you. You shouldn’t have done this, not this. I should be in that box. Goddamn you. None of this is right. Who do you think you are? You didn’t get to make this decision. You didn’t get to put me in that position.”

 

His hands clenched under the flag causing it to fall to the floor. Len wanted to beat on the lid. He wanted to destroy it. Instead he fell to his knees. His hands dug into the bottom lip of the casket. His head bowed willing all of this to be a dream. “Daddy?” He hadn’t heard anyone come into the chapel.

 

He didn’t move. “Jo, go back to the house. You shouldn’t be here this late.”

 

She walked up the center aisle and sat next to her father. “I’m not eight years old anymore.”

 

“But you aren’t an adult either. Please go back.”

 

“And leave you here alone? No.” She picked up the flag and carefully placed it back on the casket.  “We all loved him. You can’t blame yourself for this.”

 

He all but growled at her. “You have no idea what you are talking about. This is all because of me. Oh God! Jo, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

 

She sat on the floor next to her father. “Yes, you did, you just didn’t mean to yell at me. Your right I’m not an adult, I’m also not a child. Being your daughter and Captain Kirk’s niece, it wasn’t possible not to grow up. I read the report.”

 

His hands dropped to his lap. Len’s eyes turned to meet his baby’s.  “How the hell did you do that? Jim needs to keep his PADD secured. Idiot.”

 

“He did. You on the other hand need to come up with better passwords. Dad, I know what happened.”

 

Len didn’t want her to see how that scared him, but he knew she could feel it. “So, you know I killed him. Not the first time I murdered someone.”

 

“You didn’t murder him, and you didn’t murder your father either.”

 

“What do you know about that?”

 

“Everything, we can talk about that later. You made the hard choices. These are among the reasons I’ll never be a doctor.”

 

Len looked at the floor. His baby knew what he had done. She would never look at him the same way she had in the past. She had looked up to him; saw him as a strong moral man. Mylus destroyed that. He destroyed that. Silent sobs wracked his body as his little girl took him into her arms. She was so like his mother, empathetic and loving. She was strong, stronger than him. Eventually he held her. His tears had subsided and he wanted her to understand that he was still her father. “I’m alright baby. I promise you I’ll be okay. Don’t worry.”

 

“I don’t. I’m here for you daddy. Please don’t forget that.”

 

“I never do baby. God, you are stronger than me.”

 

“No, I’m not. But I hope to be as strong as you one day. Uncle Jim was right you are one of the strongest men I have ever known. Please don’t tell him, but he is the other one.”

 

“I won’t. He is though. Okay Turtle, time for you to go back to the house. I’ll stay here until Uncle Hikaru comes. We can’t leave him alone.” He looked up at the casket.

 

Jo kissed her father goodnight and stood up. She kissed the casket, said goodnight and went to bed. Len was left to ponder what had unfolded. His little girl wasn’t a baby anymore. While he was away traveling the galaxy, she had grown up. It had started after Kahn. Seeing her uncle dead and in a cryotube couldn’t have been easy. Joce had been great, but still it caused Jo to mature faster than most others her age.

 

Len stood and smoothed out the already smooth flag. “I love you. I hope you know that. Did you see that Munchkin? She really has grown up, hasn’t she? Remember when you taught her chess? That was funny. I remember you had a game going with her over the comm. Did you ever finish it? Please keep an eye on her when I can’t. If you don’t she may end up with a man like you, or even worse one like me. I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry seems hollow somehow. Just know that no matter what I will love you until the day I die. You will always be my baby brother.”

 

It wasn’t long before Hikaru came in to relieve Len. They nodded their heads to each other. Len grabbed his coat and silently walked out of the chapel as Sulu took his place at the head of the casket.


	53. chapter 53

Jim made sure everyone was settled before he went to bed. He didn’t say much just kept an eye on everything. He was numb. Some of the people there were worried about him, Jo hadn’t taken her eyes off of her uncle for more than a few minutes. He heard Len talking to Mama. Now was a good time to sneak away. He went to their room and undressed.

 

Cal had moved some of her belongings into the room and put them in his large dresser. She must have done it while he was roaming the downstairs. He opened the armoire to hang up his uniform, his clothes now hung on one side and Cal’s on the other. While they were home he needed to have one made that would fit all of their things.

 

It was funny how the shower here felt do much better than the one on the Enterprise. No water restrictions here and it was home. Tonight, he would lie with Cal. She would be in his bed every night. He needed to be with her. He didn’t need sex, he needed connection. He wanted to feel the heat of her skin against his. With her he would remember he was alive and not merely existing. Get through tomorrow, he needed to get through tomorrow. They entire family would be there, even the children. He could be himself completely around some of them, but most of them needed him to be Captain Kirk, not Jimmy.

 

He hadn’t seen Jake. The manager must have been taking care of everything for the next day, Jules and JG could also be a handful. He wanted to see Jake; they had become very close over the years. Jim chuckled at the memory of Jake almost passing out when Jules was born. He was so scared even though Seri did her best to keep him calm. That was a good day. At the end, Jim sat on the front porch of the farm house with the baby girl in his arms while the new parents rested.

 

Jim finished his shower, dried off and hung the towel on the rack. Sarah would kill him if he left it on the floor to mildew. He walked naked into the bedroom. The dark came early in the winter. The moonlight filtered through the windows giving a silver cast to the room. He didn’t turn on the lights or the fireplace. He stood staring out of the front windows, the moonlight causing him to become almost a complete silhouette. He saw the light from the hallway as the door opened and closed quickly. He said nothing.

 

Cal saw Jim bathed in the moonlight. To her he still looked like an idealized sculpture from the renaissance. Every muscle highlighted by the grey blue light. She walked past him to the bathroom and removed her clothes. After they were put into the hamper she took a very quick shower, much like the one she was taught to take at the Academy. She dried, and hung her towel next to his. When she came back into the room he hadn’t moved.

 

Cal stood next to him; she looked out of the window trying to discern what could be holding his attention. Her hand was placed on his upper back as she leaned her head against his bicep.  Jim turned and looked down at her. He turned to face her. She was so beautiful, to him she would always be the most beautiful woman in the universe. The way she looked at him, no one had ever looked at him that way. She adored him as much as he adored her. He promised himself that they would never be separated again. He would do whatever he had to do to make that happen.

 

Her fingers ran around the left side of his neck. They were so soft, so gentle. He could lose himself in her touch. “Baby, we should get to bed.”

 

“I know Honey. Can we stay here a little longer?”

 

“Anything you want. You have me Jimmy.”

 

He pulled her to him. God, she felt good in his arms. He understood Bones; Len often said that Seri felt like home. That was how Cal felt to him. She was a part of him. “I needed this. Thank you, Cal.”

 

“You never have to thank me for things like this. I love this. We should go to bed. Tomorrow will start around 08:00. Oh, the guys want to talk to you and Len in the morning. They said they want to carry him to the grave in the traditional way.”

 

“We can, Hikaru and Scotty will have to be in the middle and we’ll need two more men for that. Rob can’t, he’s the minister. How about Tucker and Louis? Shit, Louis can’t. Joseph and Tucker then. They are almost exactly the same height. Only Scotty and Hikaru aren’t six one or six two. It will work. I’ll talk to them. I’ll comm Joseph and Tucker.” He commed both of the men who had no problem with the new arrangements. They were honored to be asked. “Cal, I don’t know how I am going to get through this.”

 

“You will. You will get through it with all of us helping.”

 

“I have to be Captain Kirk.”

 

“Not with me.”

 

“No, not with you or the rest of the immediate family; but there are a lot of people who will expect it.”

 

“I’ll stay with you. I promise I’ll sit with you, and I’ll be next to you at the interment.”

 

“I have to give Kat the flag.”

 

“And then you come back to my side. Once we get back here you will be able to take a deep breath.”

 

“I’ll try, but I’ll have to be at your side. I need you if I’m to get through tomorrow.”

 

“Like I said, you will. Time to go to bed.” He let go and followed her to the bed. After they crawled under the covers she guided his head to her chest. He could hear her heart beat, slow and steady. She would hold him together, he knew that. He needed to get through the ceremonies, then he could relax.

 

The sun streamed into Jim and Cal’s room. It was 08:00 Cal stretched next to him. Jim couldn’t imagine ever waking without her next to him. He was still quiet. He didn’t want to talk, if he did he could lose control. They dressed, he in his class A’s and her in a black knit dress. Her hair was gathered into a braided bun and her customary diamond studs were exchanged for pearls. They met the rest of the gang in the kitchen. Len handed him a cup of coffee. Jo looked all grown up in with her black tailored dress and her hair in a chignon. Seri was also in a black wool dress with her hair in a French twist. The women were all classically elegant.

 

Jim talked to the pall bearers. They were given their order. Jake let them know he and Rebecca would be singing the duets, one at the chapel and one at the interment. Pavel loved songs for operatic voices. He said that opera was invented by a man in Moscow. At 09:30 they followed Jim and Len to the chapel. They each had their partner on their arm. It was a short walk. People had started to arrive. The front rows were left empty for the family and the pall bearers with their family. They all took their seats. George sat on one side of Kat and Jazined on the other. Lena sat directly behind her. Pavel would be happy with how well they took care of his mom.

 

The chapel was filled. People stood against the walls. There were twenty members of the choir and the choir master in the back of the room. The organist took her place. Rob walked to the dais behind the casket. “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. The Lord does not take away. He gave us Pavel, and that gift will be with us forever.” Len watched Rob, so polished and professional. Len heard nothing else. His mind drifted back to teaching Pavel poker only to have the boy tell him that it was invented by a little old lady in Saint Petersburg. A light smile crossed his face as he remembered all of the times he had to try to understand what the kid was saying, he would start in Standard but end in Russian when he was upset. Finally, Nyota had enough and insisted she teach all of them Russian, French, German, Mandarin, Spanish and Italian. Standard was actually a form of English so they became fairly well versed in Earth languages. Pavel learned all of them quickly, but then he was always the smartest one in the room. He never acted like he was, but everyone except for him knew.

 

Jim heard the readings and the eulogies. He heard them, but didn’t listen to them. They were a droning noise that threated to break through his memories. He remembered teaching Pavel how to fire a rifle. They needed to thin the herd of deer so they wouldn’t starve. It took three days to get him good enough to go with them. He never got the hang of properly dressing the deer they killed. Jo tried to show him, but in the end the only thing he was good at was the field evisceration. He loved to go riding, Red was his friend. Jim had told Louis that Red had to be at the funeral. He heard soft laughter as Nyota told a funny story.

 

The organist began to play an old song that Pavel loved. He would play it over and over in his dorm room. Len could hear it down the hall and it drove him crazy. The kid swore it was Russian though it was written by Americans and was sung in Italian and English. Rebecca started singing “I pray you’ll be our eyes.” Jim stood and the pall bearers followed. Colm came forward and turned the bier until the casket was facing the back of the aisle. Len and Jake stood at the front, Spock and Rory were at the back, with Hikaru, Scotty, Joseph and Tucker in the middle. The men slid the casket keeping it at almost chest level. At Jim’s signal they hoisted the casket onto their shoulders and brought one arm under the box gripping the far shoulder of their partner with the other hand holding the side of the casket steady. It was a bumpy walk and they didn’t want to rest it only on their shoulders and risk dropping it.

 

They began the slow precession up the aisle and out the back door. Jim and Rob led them. Owen opened the door, Mrs. Chekov with George, Jazined, and Lena followed, the rest of the immediate family directly behind them, the remaining mourners following. Jake and Rebecca slipped around the building and snuck into the graveyard unnoticed. Owen and Will had their instruments already there for the final song. Red had been waiting with Louis as Pavel was carried from the church. He was brought in directly behind the casket to follow his friend on his last journey. Spock was confused as to why there were boots in the stirrups, and why they were backwards. It must have been an Earth custom. He would ask Nyota later.

 

They entered the cemetery and carefully placed the casket over the grave. There were seats for the family. Adam, Spock, Scotty, and Joseph stood to the side ready to fold the flag. Kat sat with George, Jazined, and Lena. Len stood to their left with Seri and Jo. Seri held his hand while his arm was around Jo’s waist, her head on his side. Joce and Evan stood directly behind them with Crystal and Mitch. Mitch walked in front of Len before Joce could grab him. “Hi Uncle Len.” He was only four and didn’t understand what was happening.

 

Len let go of the ladies and picked him up. “Hi buddy.” He kissed him on the cheek. “I know this is all confusing. Why don’t you go stay with mommy and daddy? I promise we’ll play later.”

 

“Okay Uncle Len.” Len hugged him, then put him down gently. He turned to make sure the little one made it back to mom and dad. Joce mouthed “Sorry.”

 

“It’s alright. I needed that.” He took Seri’s hand again and Jo wrapped her arm around his.

 

Jim stood to the right of the chairs. Cal took his hand. The gloves he and the others wore were slightly thick making it hard to entwine their fingers so she simply put her hand in his. He saw Jules to the side with JG and their parents. She was waving trying to get his attention. He winked at her and smiled. He knew she would be telling him all about her adventures later. Children were always at McCoy funerals. They didn’t necessarily go to the viewings, but they were at the funerals. It was important to teach children that death was part of life. For the adults it gave them something to focus on other than their grief.

 

Rob stood at the head of the casket. “The Lord is my shepherd…” Kat had wanted traditional Christian prayers said. She said it would make everyone feel a part of the service. There were a couple traditional Russian prayers interspersed, but the majority were western Christian prayers. She said it would have been important to her son to include all of his family. The Russian traditions were modified, but observed, Christine had seen to it. He wore white clothes and a belt under his uniform. She let Kat know that these things had not been overlooked.

 

Kat sat staring at the casket, his cross in her hand. She knew it was on him when he died. Somehow it helped her to feel more connected to her son. Jazined could feel her. He put his arm around her shoulders allowing the touch to give her strength and support. She silently cried as the prayers echoed through the trees.

 

When Rob finished Jim motioned for the honor guard to follow him. They removed the flag from the casket and folded it until it was a crisp triangle. At the end Adam handed it to Spock who ran his hands over the edges to ensure all was correct. He then handed it to the Captain who walked to Pavel’s mother and knelt with one knee in front of her. He handed her the flag. “With the thanks of a grateful Federation.”

 

Her hand rested on his over the flag. She looked into his eyes. “Thank you, Jimmy.” She kissed him on the cheek. It was all Jim could do to stand and walk back to his spot. Jazined and George saw it. Now it would start.

 

Cal immediately took his hand. Jim was blocking everything from the telepaths. Rebecca and Jake walked over to Owen and Wil. Owen had a snare drum and Will a violin. Usually these two got together to play country music, not today. Rob announced that there would be a luncheon at the house after the service that all were invited to attend. The violin started as Colm pushed a button and the casket slowly lowered into the ground. Rebecca began to sing _Con Te Partiro_. She and Jake sang it in both Italian and English, the traditional way. The snare drum beat out a light cadence. The casket continued on its journey.

 

Kat began to sob as Jazined held her to him. Seri moved her hand and wrapped her arm around Len. Tears streaked their faces. Jo turned her face into her dad’s side as she cried. Cal turned to Jim and buried her face in his chest. He held her as he stroked her hair. Some of Colm’s workers handed out flowers to the mourners. Kat was led to the grave, she threw in her rose and a hand full of dirt. She kissed her hand and waved a goodbye kiss to her only child. George, Jazined, and Lena threw in their flowers and dirt as well. They guided her away from the crowd and began the walk to the house.

 

Jim was next with Cal not letting go of his hand. He threw in the flower and the dirt. “Goodbye.” She followed his lead then walked with him to the house. Len was next with Seri and Jo.

 

He threw in the rose and dirt, each of the women did the same. He let them walk in front of him as he took one last look into the hole. “Goodbye kid.” He could hear the strains of the music as he joined the ladies on the path.

 

They walked to the house as the rest of the mourners said their goodbyes. Colm would see to the closing of the grave and Louis would put Red back in the stables. The horse had been calm during all of it; Len noticed the horse, who was usually distracted by a falling leaf, never took his eyes from the casket.

 

When they arrived at the house the food was all laid out and the buffet held the plates, glasses, and utensils. Mama would never allow disposable tableware be used for such an important occasion. Even if she did allow it, Sarah wouldn’t have had any of it, only the best for Pavel and his family. Extra staff was brought in to help with the setup, serving, and clean-up. Sarah would need a raise after this.

 

Mitch and Crystal came running up to Len. “Uncle Len!”

 

He scooped them up, one in each arm. He didn’t feel like having anyone near him, but they wouldn’t understand. Children shouldn’t understand how he was feeling. They each got their kiss. “Hello monkeys. I know you want to play, but I think it may have to wait until at least tomorrow. There are too many people around and you two play rough.”

 

Crystal threw her arms around his neck. “Alright Uncle Len, as long as you promise.”

 

“We have an entire year together. We’ll get a lot of play time in.” He put them down. “Now get going, and don’t get into too much trouble. Crystal keep an eye on your baby brother, and no going outside.”

 

She looked disappointed, she had wanted to go outside. “Yes, Uncle Len. Hi Aunt Seri.”

 

“Hi munchkin.” When Len was around those two forgot anyone else existed. Seri walked up to Len she could feel him. He was hurting but knew he had social obligations. “You can sneak away in a little while Imzadi. We have this. It’s okay.”

 

“I know, but I should greet everyone. It is my house.”

 

“Let all of us take care of that. Say hello to the ones you really know, then go to the library. We’ll keep the door closed. I’ll let Sarah know so she doesn’t open it.”

 

“Have you seen Jim?”

 

“Yes, he isn’t doing well, but few would know. He feels the need to be Captain Kirk, the same way you feel the need to be lord of the manor. He’ll work the room, then more likely than not, disappear. Dad has Kat. He is having her sit in her room for a bit before she joins the crowd. Mama, Cal, and George are all playing host. Trust us, we have this.”

 

“I do trust you.” They kissed. She patted his butt and sent him off to mingle. Len made his way through the crowd and stopped to talk to about thirty people before he snuck into the library. Sarah had the fire on in the fireplace and a plate of hood on the library table with a glass of wine and another of water. Without the women in his life, Len doubted he would have survived, if nothing else he would have starved. The collar of his jacket was undone before he ate the pasta. Whoever designed the damn thing didn’t consider things such as swallowing. After, he sat sipping the wine as he looked into the fire.

 

Jim had kissed Cal on the forehead before he began to work the rooms. Jules had found him and he promised her they would go riding soon. Lucky for Jim, the Academy had taught him how to make every person he talked to believe they had his undivided attention and were the most important person in the room. He tried to talk to as many of the people Len missed as possible. After about an hour he couldn’t do it anymore. It was too hot and far too hard to breathe.

 

 

Jim trudged up the stairs. He could hear the guests in the dining room. Conversation flowed as the sound of china being picked up and used echoed through the downstairs. Sarah had made sure the caterers had everything put out before the funeral and interment were completed. She had one of her older workers meet them and inspect everything before the people arrived from the cemetery. The rest of the staff kept the food and drinks coming. She also set up for butlered hors d’oeuvres. He heard some laughter as it rang through the entryway. Pavel would have loved all of the bustle.

 

He felt almost dead inside for the past couple of days; not dead, numb. Now that numbness was giving way to other, more primal feelings. The captain’s breathing became more labored as he neared the top of the stairs. The climb wasn’t taxing, but his breathing sounded through the halls as if he had run a marathon. It was a short walk to their bedroom door. He stood outside of the room for a moment staring at the wood, trying to make sense of it all.

 

The door was thrown open and, after he entered, just as quickly slammed shut. The dress uniform was strangling him. He ripped at the collar unable to unfasten it. He could hear the material rip as he pulled it open. Quickly it was pulled off and thrown onto the bed. He started to pace. The walls were closing in. Short deep breaths could be heard coming through his nose as he walked to the French doors. Outside it was cold and grey. The pecan trees stood as black skeletons against the winter sky.

 

He walked over to the dresser. With a scream the top of the dresser was cleared by one sweep of an arm.  Shattered crystal, water, flowers, a splintered wooden box, jewelry, and a destroyed shadow box containing medals, covered the floor from the dresser to the window. He leaned on the dresser with his hands and studied his face in the mirror. A reddened almost feral reflection shown back.

 

“Do you feel better?” George had followed the captain up the stairs and entered the room unnoticed. He and Jazined watched Jim start to decompensate as soon as the flag was handed to Kat and she kissed him. They knew it was only a matter of time before all of Jim’s defenses fell. He would need a father then.

 

Jim turned his eyes so he could see George’s reflection in the mirror. He half yelled through clenched teeth. “Go away.”

 

“No.”  George walked towards him. He didn’t take his gaze from the reflection of the young man. Tears were welling in Jim’s eyes, turning the blue more intense than usual. The anger was taking over. The more he tried to fight it, the worse it became.

 

“Please. I want to be left alone.” His voice was gruff. It betrayed all of the emotions that threatened to boil up.

 

“We don’t always get what we want in life.” He put a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you son.”

 

With that Jim’s head bowed as his shoulders and back began to shake. George turned his “son” into his arms. The younger man was sobbing and screaming out a series of disjointed ideas; he stepped back from his “father’s” embrace. “Don’t be. I fucked up everything. This is because of me. I should never have been made a captain. You have to fucking know that. I was never good enough. How many thousands are dead because I’m not fucking good enough. Len will never be the same. That is because of me. Pavel is rotting in the ground because of me. It is all because of me. I fucking did all of this.” He was screaming at George, but more than that he was screaming at himself. George walked toward his “son”. This time when he held him he locked his arms, not allowing Jim a means of escape. “Let me go. Get away.” After a short and futile fight Jim clung to father’s back and shoulders.

 

George held him until Jim could barely stand. Slowly he walked Jim to the couch. The tears had stopped, there were none left. Jim sat shaking against the couch’s left arm. George walked to the nightstand, poured a glass of water, grabbed the box of tissues and walked back. He handed the tissues to his boy. Jim blew his nose and wiped his eyes with the back of his arm. “Here.” He handed him the water which Jim took. The older man sat opposite the captain. “I am proud of you. You did none of those things; Nero did, Kahn did, Krall did, and the Mylans did. Without you, millions more would have died. We are all here because of what you did. Jim look at me.”

 

Jim had been staring at the couch. Slowly he looked up at the man who had become a father to him. His eyes were blood red and swollen. “What?”

 

“We are all here because of you. Len may never be the same, but he won’t be destroyed by this. You won’t be the same, but this won’t destroy you either.”

 

“I can’t feel anything but anger.”

 

“And pain.”

 

“Yes, and pain. I need this to stop. I go from feeling numb to feeling this.” He glanced at the mess on the floor. “Fuck look at what I did. Shit, Cal’s going to kill me.”

 

“No, she won’t.”

 

“Then Sarah will.”

 

“She might.” He smirked at Jim. “Len survived all those years ago. If she didn’t kill him, she won’t kill you. Jim, it’s oaky. All of this is normal, messy but normal. We have been waiting for it. Seri, Len, Jazined, Lena, Evan, and Cal have been watching for the signs. Jaz and I just happened to notice them before the rest did.”

 

Tears had begun to run down Jim’s cheeks. He rubbed at them with the heel of his hand, angry that they started again. “I thought I had gotten past this, that the worst was over.”

 

“For you, part of this will never be over.” Jim looked scared. “It won’t always be this bad, but it will be in your mind. Most days will be alright, but something will happen and this will come up like a ghost. It is normal. How you choose to deal with it is what is important.”

 

“I know this will haunt me for the rest of my life, just like Tarsus IV. I just need to get past the abject anger and pain.”

 

“You will. Time and counseling will both play a huge part in that.”

 

“I don’t want to see any therapists. I had enough of their bullshit as a kid.”

 

“I don’t think you’ll have much of a choice. Seri has someone lined up for you. She said if you didn’t like the first one she had a few more. That young lady is not going to let you off the hook.”

 

“She’s a pain in the ass.”

 

George became serious. “She doesn’t want to lose you. She, Lena, and Cal are too close to help you with this. They can be there for you, but they can’t be your counselors. Seri has several lined up for Len as well. Sulu is going back to San Francisco with Ben, and Scotty is going to Edenborough. They’ll leave after the wedding. She did the same thing for them. She also set up counselors for the security personnel that were with Len on Mylus. She is a good, strong, woman.”

 

“She is. Dad, thank you.” Jim hadn’t noticed his tears had stopped and his heart rate had gone back to normal. George had manipulated the conversation to allow him to decompress.

 

“I am always here for you. Jim, you can always come to me.”

 

“I know that. I just haven’t been seeing things clearly these past couple of days.”

 

“No, you have been on auto pilot.  You did a great job with everything. Now let the rest of us take over. Stay up here. You don’t need to come down.”

 

“Yes, I do.”

 

“No, Jimmy you don’t. Let me handle this please. You can’t deal with that crowd. Not now. I’ll send some food up.”

 

“And a broom and mop?”

 

“Sure. Go get changed and rest. I have this.”

 

Jim grabbed grey kakis from the armoire. Sarah had her staff put all of their belongings put away as soon as they had arrived. The boxes weren’t even around when the group had arrived at the farm. He threw them on along with his favorite boots and put his uniform in the hamper to go to the cleaners. The collar would need to be repaired, and the material couldn’t be washed. Jim threw a long sleeve tee shirt on the bed.

 

He almost didn’t hear the light knock at the door. “Come in.”

 

A young girl entered the room with food on a tray. She couldn’t have been more than twenty years old. She looked like a baby to him. Damn, he wasn’t much older than her when he first came to the farm. “Captain Kirk, I’m sorry.” She flushed red as her eyes centered on his bare chest. “Mrs. Garnett sent this up.”

 

“That alright Mary. You can put it in the den. It is Mary isn’t it?”

 

“Yes sir.” She walked to the den and placed the tray on the table in front of the fireplace. She came back, still blushing. “Will there be anything else Captain?” She looked at the mess on the floor.

 

“No, thank you.” Mary left and closed the door. Jim chuckled as he shook his head. Damn, they did get younger every year. He sat on the couch and looked at the tray. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but Sarah would definitely kill him if he didn’t eat something. He was picking through the different sandwiches when he heard the door open and close. “I’m in here.” If the person didn’t knock, it could only be a family member.

 

“What the hell happened here?”

 

Jim jumped up and ran to the bedroom. Sarah stood at the door looking at the disaster he had created. She had a broom with her. “I’ve got this. Sarah, don’t worry about it.” Jim nervously ran over to the mess. “Please let me take care of it.”

 

Jim started to carelessly pick up the larger pieces of broken crystal. Blood began to run down his hands as he continued to pick up the shards. “Jim stop. Jim…” He didn’t hear her. Sarah dropped the dustpan and broom. He was looking at the mess as he continued to frantically pick up the pieces of vase. She came in front of him and ran her hands down his arms until they reached his hands. She whispered calmly, “Put it down.”

 

Jim started to cry as he dropped the remnants of his life on the floor. “Sarah, I’m sorry. Please let me clean this. I made this mess, I should be the one to clean it. Please…”

 

Sarah had known him long enough to know he wasn’t talking about the mess on the floor. She walked behind him, knelt, then turned him to face her. She put her hands in his. Blood covered her hands as she removed the crystal and took him into her arms. “No Jimmy. This means nothing. It is alright. You didn’t make this mess, they did. They did it all.” She rocked him slowly as she continued to hold him. He hugged her, needing to feel her. Jim didn’t realize he was staining her blouse with his blood. Jim didn’t realize, and Sarah didn’t care.

 

As the tears stopped he released his grip on Sarah.  “Sweetie, I am so sorry. Oh shit! Look what I did.”

 

“Jim it’s alright. Let’s take care of your hands.” She guided him up and to the bathroom. “Here, have a seat.” He sat on the edge of the bathtub. “Let me see those hands.” Jim opened his hands to her and fixed his gaze on the floor. Sarah lifted his chin. “Jim, it really is okay. Trust me I’ve dealt with worse; just ask Len.” He watched her as she ran a wash cloth under cold water and dabbed his cuts. “See, not so bad.” Her voice was soft.

 

“I messed up. Please let me clean it.”

 

“I don’t think so. Jimmy you were never good at cleaning and I want this done right. One of the kids will take care of it. Let me get some gauze.”

 

Sarah left to get the gauze from Len’s room. When she returned she noticed he hadn’t moved. “Sarah, thank you. I guess George is right. I shouldn’t go down.”

 

“No, you shouldn’t. There, all wrapped up. I would have Len take a look at these when he comes up. Jimmy please stop being Captain Kirk. When you are here you are Jimmy.”

 

“Mary called me Captain Kirk. Don’t worry, that wasn’t the trigger for this.”

 

“I didn’t think it was. The kids are told to call all of you by your correct titles. They need to show respect.”

 

“To their elders?”

 

“Exactly.” She was smiling as she sat next to him on the tub. “I’m going to send Bart up to clean the mess. Stay in the den. Close the door and you won’t be bothered.”

 

“They don’t bother me.”

 

“I know, but today I think the less noise the better. In a week this place will be alive with noise, smells, and general mayhem.”

 

“The wedding! That will be a great day.”

 

“Seri said you are going to ask Cal to marry you.”

 

“I don’t deserve her.”

 

“Yes, you do. And she deserves you. My kids tell their classmates that Captain James T. Kirk is their uncle. The kids don’t believe them. Jules wants to know if you would talk to her class sometime.”

 

He chuckled. “She is funny. Of course, I will. No one messes with my Jules. I have a blanket for her that I picked up on Thasus. It turns different colors as the temperature changes. I also got JG a backpack that does the same thing. He said he likes to go exploring in the woods with his dad. It is small, but there are ways to expand it as he gets older.”

 

Sarah stood up. “You are a good Uncle.” She kissed the top of his head. “And a good man. May I borrow a shirt. This one looks like I killed you.”

 

“Sure.” He walked with her into the bedroom and grabbed a button-down from the armoire. “Here, this should work. I’ll step out.”

 

“Don’t bother. You got the full view the day Jules was born. I lost all modesty after that. Thanks, after two kids, there is no way any of Cal’s shirts would fit.” She took off her top, threw it into the hamper, and put on the one Jim gave her. “I’ll get this back to you after it’s washed.”

 

“Don’t worry. I know where you live.” He laughed, the first time he had done so in days.

 

“Go eat. I’ll send one of the kids up to clean. They do a better job than you do.”

 

“That isn’t holding the bar very high. Sarah, thanks.”

 

“Jimmy, after all of these years, you don’t have to thank me. Please go eat. If I hear you didn’t you’ll answer to me.”

 

“Yes ma’am.” He walked into the den as she left and closed the bedroom door.

 

Sarah half ran down the grand staircase. The house was filled. Only family was invited to the service and interment. The kid had a huge family. Between the Starfleet and the Georgia families there had to be at least seventy people there. She smiled, it was good for Mrs. Chekov to see how many lives her son had touched. 

 

Most of the people were in the dining room. Sarah was looking for Len. She had a feeling that at that moment Jim needed his brother more than he needed Cal. There were people in the kitchen, but still no Len. As she walked back into the entryway Nyota stopped to look her up and down. “Don’t ask. Have you seen Len?”

 

“I think he went into the library. Things were too loud for him out here. Spock is completely confused. Something about humans equating food with mourning.”

 

“Clearly he hasn’t had enough exposure to southern culture. Thanks, Nyota.” She didn’t think Len would still be in the library. Sarah opened the door to a library lit solely by the fire in the fireplace. “Len?”

 

“I’m over here sweetie. Seri said she would play hostess so I could hide for a little while. Oh, that’s right, she told you.”

 

“Do you need me to leave?”

 

“God, no. Not you. You sound upset. What’s wrong?”

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“Sarah.”

 

“I left your med kit on your bed. Jim hurt his hands.”

 

“I was wondering why you had his shirt on.”

 

“You can see that? Nevermind, can you go check on him? He trashed his room a little. When I went to clean up he completely lost it and tried to help. He wasn’t making much sense and tried to pick up the broken crystal. His hands are pretty cut up. I got him to calm down, but if you can I think he needs you.”

 

“Dad said he was decompensating. I wanted to give him some space. Okay, the truth is I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t care for anyone then.”

 

“Can you handle it now? If not, I’ll go back up.”

 

Len stood and kissed her on the head. “No, I’ve got this. I’m sorry. I’m being selfish. I’ve been waiting for this.” He walked out of the library, leaving the door open. Sarah turned the lights on and took the plate and glasses. It wasn’t long before some of the guests found their way into the elegant room.

 

Len grabbed the med kit from his room and went to Jim. “Hey kid. Sarah said you messed up your hands.”

 

Jim tried to hide his hands. “I’m fine Bones. It’s too loud down there.”

 

“It is. Please Jim.” Len sat on the couch with Jim. Jim showed the doctor his hands. The gauze was gently removed. “You should know better than to try to clean.”

 

“I’m sorry Bones.” He leaned his head back on the couch. There was a knock at the bedroom door. “Come in.”

 

A teenage boy came in with a pitcher of tea. “Captain Kirk, Doctor McCoy, Mrs. Garnett sent this up for you. If it is alright, she wants me to clean up the bedroom.” He put the tea on the table in front of the two.

 

Len was engrossed in his work. He continued to run the tricorder over Jim’s right hand. Jim answered the kid. “Thanks…I’m sorry I don’t remember your name.”

 

“It’s alright Captain, I have only been here a week. I’m Bart. I usually help Mr. Garnett, but Mrs. Garnett needed help inside today. You won’t see much of me.”

 

“I wouldn’t count on that. Jim has a habit of getting to know all of the farm help. Give him a few days, he’ll be a pain in your neck.”

 

“Thanks Bones, ass. Thank you, Bart.” The kid went into the bedroom; they could hear him as he cleaned up the mess. It wasn’t long before he left. Len had the dermal regenerator in his hand. He finished the right hand and was working on the left.

 

“Jim, I won’t push you, but we do need to talk; if for no other reason than to shut the women up.” He wanted it to be a lighter conversation. Jim didn’t need a lecture.

 

“Cal is worried.”

 

“They all are, about both of us.”

 

“Bones, I can’t shut down. If I go down there, they will all be staring at me.”

 

“Don’t laugh, I was hiding in the library. I just didn’t break anything this time.”

 

“At least it was a cheap vase I killed.”

 

“Yeah Sarah still brings up the Stuben glass I destroyed. I think she liked that piece. One day, I think I’ll buy one and sneak it into her house.”

 

Jim gently laughed. “She’ll hit you.”

 

“It’ll be worth it. How are you feeling?” He finished the left hand.

 

“Better, but I still don’t want to face the crowd.”

 

“Neither do I. I have an idea. Follow me.” They stood up and walked to the front porch. Both men liked the cold. “Give me a minute, I’m going to get this thing off and throw on a sweater.” _“Peaches, can you send up something hot to drink?”_

_“I’ll take care of it baby. You both feel a little calmer.”_

_“We are, but I don’t think the crowd is a good idea for either of us.”_

_“Neither do I. We all have this, don’t worry about anything. Mama, Cal, Kat, and I are playing the hostess. George and Dad have the thing under control as well. Spock is completely out of his element. It is fun to watch.”_

_“Enjoy.”_ Jim was throwing on a sweater as Len was leaving. “Seri is sending up something hot to drink.”

 

It wasn’t long before both men were seated on Jim’s porch. “Bones, I think I understand something.”

 

Len had been lost in his thoughts as he looked over the pecan grove. “Hmmm, what is that?”

 

“All these years you have said this place and its people are your responsibility.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“It is mine as well. Don’t argue, you know it’s true. I may not own any of this, but I am responsible for it. You know Rob paid off his debt years earlier than expected. Jake and Sarah have been investing and…”

 

“I do know. I also know that is all you. I have always known. Thank you for that. It took a load off of me.”

 

“I wanted to help them. Rob and Ann deserve the security.”

 

“And Jake and Sarah deserve it as well.”

 

“She doesn’t put up with my shit. Jake is fun.”

 

“He is, but he is serious as well. She is like that because she loves you, Jake does as well.”

 

“Evan looks good. Better than he did after Nero.”

 

“They didn’t get along, but it was still hard losing his brother. His parents are on New Vulcan. Joce told me he has no contact with them.”

 

“I know. He and I were talking a few weeks ago.” Jo walked into her uncle’s room with a tray holding two cups of homemade hot chocolate. It was a favorite of the family. Sarah put a little cinnamon and cardamom in it.

 

“Here you go daddy, Uncle Jim.”

 

“Thanks Turtle.”

 

“Munchkin, how are you doing?”

 

“I’m alright.” Her voice was soft. She placed the tray on the table between the men’s chairs. Jim took her hand. He held it to his cheek as he continued to look out over the farm. Jo knew her uncle was hurting and he needed his family. “I love you too Uncle Jim.”

 

He kissed her hand and released it. “Baby, can you tell your mother where we are. I know her, she’ll worry.”

 

“Alright daddy.” She walked off the porch and out of the bedroom.

 

“She’s getting big.”

 

“She is. She loves her uncle. Joce says she is a combination of the two of us. I feel sorry for Evan and her these past few years.”

 

Jim was smirking. “Yeah, I don’t envy them these past years.”

 

“Yes, you do, so do I.” They sipped the chocolate. “Jim, when you’re done, can you come with me?”

 

“As long as I don’t have to be social, yes.”

 

“Don’t worry, I don’t want to be around people either.” With the chocolate finished Len stood and Jim followed him to his room. Len locked the doors to the rooms after they went in.

 

Len moved the painting of Blackjack and opened the safe. He pulled out the jewelry box and opened the drawer that held the rings. Jim’s eyes became as wide as an owl’s. “What is this?”

 

“It is the family jewelry. It goes back generations, but most were collected by our great-grandmother. I know you want to get Cal a ring. I wanted you to see if any of these were what you wanted. Just not this one. This I want to give to Jo when she turns eighteen. It’s a red diamond. Even she can’t break it.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes, it’s a diamond so she can ware it no matter what she is doing.”

 

“No, I mean are you sure you want me to pick something from here? These are yours.”

 

“They are the family’s. If you don’t see anything that you like, or that you think Cal will like, that’s alright. I just wanted you to have the option. I have background on all of these pieces.”

 

Jim ran his fingers over the rings. There were stones of all shapes, sizes, and colors. “What are the best stones for an engagement ring?”

 

“Opals, pearls, and emeralds aren’t good. She wouldn’t be able to wear them all of the time, too fragile.”

 

“She loves the color pink.”

 

Len pulled out five rings. They all had pick stones in them. He had left some of the pink stoned rings in the drawer. “These are the most durable.” The stones varied in size from .75 to five carats. The largest one was emerald cut and a bright bubblegum pink. The others were round or oval, most a deep pink with some variations in tone, saturation, and hue.

 

“What is the difference between these and these?” Jim pulled one of the other pink rings from the drawer.”

 

“You could choose that. It is a pink sapphire. It is almost as hard as these, but these are diamonds. They are definitely harder.”

 

“Diamonds?”

 

“They are from the Argyle mine in Australia. I have the papers here, I can tell you about all of them.”

 

“I don’t think she wants something this big.”

 

“Neither do I. I thought that would make a good necklace one day.”

 

Jim held an oval shaped one. It was set in white gold and had two colorless trillion cut diamonds on either side of the center stone. “What about this one?”

 

Len fumbled through the papers. “It is a .89 carat center stone. This says it is a 1P, FV, VS1.”

 

“So, what the fuck does that mean?”

 

“How the hell am I supposed to know? I’m a doctor, not a gemologist. Give me a minute.” There was a knock at the door. “Who is it?”

 

“Its Cal. May I come in?”

 

They both yelled in unison. “No! Go away!”

 

“Fine, obviously you two are okay. I’ll let everyone know you didn’t run away. Assholes.”

 

Jim took a deep breath. “That was close. Did you find the definitions?”

 

“One damned minute. Oh, here they are. 1P is the highest saturation of just pink, evidently there are also purplish/pink, pink/rose…well you get the idea. FV is fancy vivid, that is the intensity. VS1 means the inclusions can only be seen under magnification and there aren’t many. Wait here is the cert. Shape is oval, measurements are...I guess that doesn’t really matter we are looking at the damned thing, carat weight is .89, color grade is pink/fancy vivid pink, clarity VS1, intensity fancy vivid, fluorescence is a strong blue. That’s interesting. God my sister is high maintenance.”

 

Jim laughed. “We just got a quick education. Her ring size is a five. She was bitching one day that she can never borrow rings because she is too tiny.”

 

“She sounds like Seri. Is this the one you want?”

 

“It’s the only one that looks like her. I see her when I look at it.” Jim was turning it around looking at every side.

 

Len smiled, he understood what Jim meant. Let me get Geoff. He’ll get this thing sized without her knowing anything. He was always sneaky as a kid. It came in handy, still does. Can’t pull anything over on his wife though. He’s a good guy.”

 

“I like Geoff. I remember first meeting him at the first bonfire. He raked me over the coals.”

 

“He’s protective of Cal.”

 

“I know. Thank God he liked me.” _Seri, can you send Geoff to Len’s room?”_

_“Sure!”_

_“Don’t sound so excited.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Fine. We’ll be in here.”_ “Your wife is getting him.”

 

Len unlock the door to the bedroom. “She isn’t my wife yet.”

 

“Close enough.” Len started to put the box away when he opened another drawer and pulled out a pendant with a dark red stone in the middle.

 

“What is that.”

 

Len put the box away and closed the safe. The painting was back in place before Geoff walked in. “A red diamond pendant. It is two and three quarter carat, purplish red to be exact. I wanted to rework this for Seri. It fits her personality. There is another in there for Cal.”

 

“She wouldn’t want one that big.”

 

“I know, it is only about three quarters of a carat, emerald cut. I was going to give it to her years ago, but I think it should come from you. I want to rework this one for when we have our first child.”

 

“That is a great idea. Need to keep it in mind.”

 

“Hi guys, you both look like you are about to get into trouble. Kind of like the day we all flooded the stables.”

 

“I didn’t mean to break off the faucet handle.”

 

“No, Jimmy I didn’t think you did. I did think that Aunt Lena was going to kill all of us.”

 

“Well Jim is about to get himself into a world of trouble.” Jim held out the ring to Geoff. “He is asking Cal to marry him.

 

“It’s about damn time. Wow! Haven’t seen one like this in…actually, I have never seen one like this.” He looked at Len. “Your great-grandma’s stash?”

 

“Yep. You know her, jewels and men.”

 

“All kidding aside, Jim this is perfect for her. This screams Callie. What do you need done?”

 

“She is a five, and I guess it needs to be cleaned.”

 

“I’ve got ya. I can have this back to you tonight. She won’t know a thing. I’ll put it in the silver box over the mantel in the den if she is her normal nosy self and I can’t hand it to you. Your sister is a pain in the ass.”

 

“And you love her. Can you take this as well? I wanted to throw it into a yellow gold pendant, something tailored and elegant. Maybe have a twenty-two-inch chain. No rush with the designs. I want it for Seri if we have a kid”

 

“Congratulations Jim. You are the only man good enough for my best friend. Not a problem Lenny. I’ll send you some design ideas. This is going to be fun. I have never seen one of these either, but then few have.” He shook Jim’s hand and left with the ring and pendant, in his pocket.

 

“He was with Cal the way I was with Sarah. I’m surprised those two ever dated with us around.”

 

“Like I said, I’m lucky he liked me.” They walked out to Len’s porch and sat on the couch. The peach trees looked beautiful even without their leaves. Georgia was having a colder than normal winter. There was a forecast of snow for the next week. People were excited that they might even have a white Christmas. It didn’t matter that only a few inches were predicted, snow was snow. They both felt lighter than they had in two weeks.


	54. chapter 54

"Aunt Seri! Aunt Seri wake up! It’s time to get ready.” Seri thought the world was coming to an end, and Len almost fell off the bed.

 

“What the hell! Turtle, what is going on?” Jo had jumped on the bed and was sitting between them. She was giggling as her puppy sleepily made his way into the room. Len looked at the grey fur ball. “I feel for you buddy. Come here. He picked up the little guy and placed him at the foot of the bed. “Has he been out?”

 

“Yes daddy.”

 

“Munchkin, what time is it?”

 

“It’s six thirty! It’s time to get up.”

 

Seri looked at her through half opened eyes. “Baby, the wedding isn’t until ten.”

 

“I know but you have to do my hair and yours. And you need a shower, and we have to eat breakfast and…”

 

“Alright, I see your point. Let me brush my teeth and we’ll get breakfast. Meet me in the kitchen.”

 

“Okay Aunt Seri.” She kissed her aunt on the cheek, grabbed Shadow, and ran out of the room.

 

“Where does your daughter get that much energy?”

 

“She sure as hell doesn’t get it from me. I’m sorry, she’s just really excited. This is all a great big adventure to her.”

 

“It’s alright. I remember being like her. The difference was, if my dad wasn’t around I got yelled at by my mother. I don’t ever want her to feel like that. Go back to sleep you have another hour and a half.”

 

“After that, I’m awake. I’ll get a shower with you and join you both for breakfast. I’ve never been to a Betazoid wedding. It should be interesting.”

 

Seri spoke under her breath. “That’s a word for it.”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing. They are beautiful. Let’s get moving. It will take awhile to do her hair. I think she wants a traditional hairstyle similar to what I am going to wear.”

 

“You said my suit was acceptable. Is there anything else I need to bring?” They got out of bed and walked to the bathroom.

 

“No, dad already sent the gift from us. We don’t go crazy with wedding gifts. The big gift is given to the bride from the groom the night before the wedding. The rest of the gifts are small mementos.” They started to undress and Seri turned on the water.

 

“I like that.” Len tested the water.

 

“Can we do it that way when we get married? I mean I don’t need a big gift from you, but I think small keepsakes from everyone else is perfect.” They both got into the shower.

 

“It is. It shouldn’t be about things.” He washed her hair.

 

“The Betazoid wedding celebrates love in all its forms. That is why the children are always welcome at the reception. The ceremony would be boring for them, it’s to celebrate romantic love. The reception is to celebrate the love of family.” She completely scrubbed him and then herself as he rinsed. Seri rinsed off and they exited the shower.

 

“I like the idea of what it celebrates. I don’t think your dad hates me.”

 

 

She was laughing as she threw on shorts and a loose shirt. “No, the hangover cure cinched it, but he liked you from the moment he met you. I know you’ve been blocking your thoughts, but he can feel you no matter what.”

 

“He can feel my love for you.” He put on jeans and a tee shirt.

 

“He can, and your love for Jo and Jim. Mother will be a different story. Nice thing is you can hide everything from her. She isn’t as strong a telepath as dad. Eventually you maybe able to hide everything from dad. It will take practice, but it may come in handy with other telepathic species.” They left for the kitchen.

 

By the time they got there Tachin had fed Shadow and gotten Jo her breakfast. “Good morning Seriana, good morning Dr. McCoy.”

 

“It’s just Len. Good morning ma’am.”

 

“It is Tachin, Len. What would you like for breakfast?”

 

“Coffee is fine.”

 

Tachin’s face changed to a light golden hue. “Young man, you are going to have a good breakfast. No one is going to say that our guests go hungry. Honestly!”

 

Len knew that tone. It didn’t matter what species it was, all mothers sounded the same. “Yes ma’am.”

 

“That’s better. I’ll get you something.” Seri was giggling. She knew what was going to happen, but she wanted to watch Len’s face.

 

Tachin was an excellent cook. Len didn’t recognize any of the food, but all of it tasted amazing. He cleared his plates and moved them to the sink. “Thank you.” He kissed her on the cheek; she turned a bright orange.

 

“Seri, I’m going to relax in the garden while you two get ready. Luckily all I have to do is fix my hair and get dressed.”

 

Seri met Jo at her room. “Okay Munchkin, tell me what you want.”

 

“I liked the way the ladies at the museum did their hair.”

 

Seri had her sit at the dressing table. “Did you take your shower?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Which ladies?” She stood behind Jo, and began brushing her hair. She had thick hair like her father.

 

“The statues, you know the ones with the long wavy hair. They had braids all over them.”

 

Seri knew what she meant. Those styles were still worn for occasions such as weddings and festivals. Luckily Jo had enough hair to make it work. “Give me a minute, I need to get a few things from my room.” Seri left and came back with curling irons, small transparent bands to hold the bottom of the braids and twists, and hair pins. There was already a can of spry that would hold the hair in place once it was done. “Jo, why don’t you change into a robe so we don’t mess up your hair getting your top off.

 

Jo jumped down and grabbed a robe from her suitcase. She quickly stripped and threw on the robe. “Is this better Aunt Seri?”

 

“It’s perfect Munchkin.” Jo sat back in front of the dressing table. Seri knew she could never love another child more than she loved this little one. She and Len would hopefully have children of their own, but they would all be loved equally.

 

“I love this! Do you think I could have this table? I don’t want to take it if it’s yours.”

 

“Baby, you can have anything in here that you want. It’s all yours. Granddad gave it to you. He will be moving soon.” Seri started to curl Jo’s long dark brown hair.

 

“This won’t be his house anymore? Is he sad because he has to move? He could live with us.” Seri noticed she had her father’s heart. The difference with Jo was she showed hers. His lay hidden to all but those closest to him.

 

“He doesn’t have to move, he wants to. He is going to come back with us for a couple of weeks. My mother will get her stuff, then he will get his and the rest will be rented to the government.” She could feel the little girl’s worry. “Don’t worry, Cordelia will go with dad, and all the puppies will be in their new homes by then.” Jo’s hair curled quickly.

 

“How about Tachin and Kenakin?” She felt very worried to Seri. Jo wanted everyone to be safe and happy.

 

“Dad would never let anything happen to them. Don’t worry, they’ll be taken care of. How does that look?” She had been twisting and braiding Jo’s hair. He hair was a mass of curls that were pinned back. Twists and braids were woven through the curls. Twists came from both sides, keeping it off of her face. Seri smiled at Jo’s reflection.

 

Her eyes were wide. Their blue shown as bright as Jim’s. “Aunt Seri, it’s pretty.”

 

“You are beautiful baby. You look like a painting. Once you get dressed, I have something for your hair.” Jo still wore the necklace Seri gave her for Christmas. She was as sentimental as her father.

 

“I will. Thank you so much!” She jumped down and hugged Seri around the waist. “I have to get Shadow ready to go with Tachin.”

 

“Don’t get dirty baby.” Jo left and Seri went to their room. She started on her hair. She heard Jim get up and walk down the stairs. He would be ready for the day ahead. Jim felt far too happy. Len would be up in about an hour. Seri wanted to have her hair and make-up done before he came upstairs.

 

Tachin had breakfast ready for Jim before he arrived. “Len is outside.”

 

“Thank you, ma’am.”

 

“Tachin, please call me Tachin.”

 

“I’m Jim. Tachin, thank you for everything. I know how you take care of the family.”

 

“Not the family, Jazined and Seriana. The rest are on their own.”

 

Jim smiled. “I understand. I hear you’re taking Shadow. Mr. Targan said you won’t let Lenoxia do anything with him.”

 

“He’s going to our son’s house. Don’t worry, she won’t know where Shadow is. She can’t read our minds. The rest of the puppies are sold. She knows better than to mess with that. Jaz’s friends bought them. They are all lawyers. They would love her to do something. Zolekid hates her and he told Jazined he wants to handle the divorce, something about needing a hobby. He has the black and white male puppy. If she tries anything with that one he will have fun dragging her through the courts.” Tachin was laughing. “Just make sure that baby isn’t here when she arrives.”

 

“Mr. Targan and I are taking her riding.”

 

“Good. Seriana can take care of her.”

 

“So can Len. He’s a strong man.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Are you empathic?”

 

“No, just a good judge of character. He loves our Seriana, and I see how he is with you and his daughter.”

 

“Thank you again. You’re a very good mother.”

 

“Thank you, Jim.” Jim grabbed his plate and joined Len at the small table in the garden.

 

“Morning Bones!”

 

Len had been staring across the lawn to the water. “You’re in a good mood.”

 

“I love weddings!” Len should have suspected something, but he was too busy worrying about Lenoxia. What if Jazined was right and Seri attacked her? What if he couldn’t stop her from doing it? What if he wasn’t strong enough? “Len, it’ll be alright. Mr. Targan told me what could happen. You can take care of it if it does. But it may not happen. Don’t worry about things that may not happen, you’ll ruin the good times that way.” What Jim didn’t realize is that Jazined had only given him an overview of things that could happen. He didn’t have all of the details. Len did.

 

“Do you have any idea who I am. I worry. I know I shouldn’t, that it isn’t productive; but I do it anyway.” Jim finished his meal as Len continued to look toward the water. Maybe the kid was right, maybe nothing would happen. We should go get ready. I hope the suit I brought will look alright.”

 

“I don’t think they’ll care, but it’ll look good. Come on.” Jim pick up the plate and glass, he had a huge smile on his face as he dropped everything in the sink and followed Len upstairs. It was going to be a great day.

 

Len entered the bedroom. Seri stood naked in front of the wardrobe. Her dress hung, in front of her. “Imzadi, I hope this looks good. There will be dancing at the reception, and I wanted to have an appropriate dress.” Her hair was done in an elaborate style similar to Jo’s. Hers was more elaborate, there were strands of gems woven through her braids. She would put some of the matching hair pins in Jo’s hair.

 

“You will be the most beautiful woman in the room.” He went to the bathroom and started to get ready. He shaved the beginnings of a beard, and brushed his teeth again. After his hair was done he came back. “You said the suit is okay.”

 

Seri walked up to him and hugged him to her. “You will be the handsomest man there. Besides, the women won’t be looking at your suit.” They started to dress. “Can you zip me up? I can always take this off, but I can’t seem to zip it up.”

 

He zipped up the back of the dress and kissed the back of her neck. Her light moan told him how it made her feel. “That is for later.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

She turned, stood on her tippy toes and kissed him. “I’m holding you to that. Now I have to get Jo ready.” She grabbed her shoes along with the diamond hair pins, and floated out of the room.

 

Len finished dressing and joined the other men in the library. Truthfully, they looked like models, but Len couldn’t see himself that way. Jim was enjoying the fact that Len had no idea what was coming. Jazined kept an eye on him. He was starting to love both of them, and he didn’t want Len to be too uncomfortable. He doubted Jim would ever be self-conscious about his body.

 

It wasn’t long before the ladies joined them. “I should go say goodbye to Shadow.”

 

Jazined picked up Jo. “Tachin took him to her son’s so he won’t be alone today. You’ll have him back tonight.”

 

Jo hugged him as they started to walk to the car. Kenakin held the doors open and they all piled into the vehicle. He closed the doors and got in. They were on their way to the wedding. Jo would have a good time, Len maybe not so much.

 

They pulled up to a building that looked a lot like a church. Seri took Jo to the building next to the church. There she was greeted by her younger cousin Danae. She was watching the children. The kids were all excited to meet Joanna. They had never met an Earthling before and they had all kinds of questions. Seri smiled as she left for the service. Jo was having the best little girl adventure ever.

 

Seri met the men at the door. Jim was smiling. “We didn’t want to go in without you. Not knowing anyone it is awkward. Your dad told us to go in with him, but I told him we would wait.”

 

She gave Jim a sideward glance.  He wanted to wait for her because of what he knew would happen. “Come on. Don’t worry they’ll talk; my family always does that when there are non-telepaths around we were taught it is rude not to.”

 

Jim looked confused. “How will they know? I mean both species look similar.”

 

“Those eyes of yours are a dead giveaway. And I doubt any of the men are as tall as you.” Seri took Len’s arm, they walked in. Everything was silent, but people were smiling and hugging. Len could tell they were communicating telepathically.

 

Jazined joined them. He didn’t trust Jim’s sense of humor. “Let me introduce you around. There is the ambassador from Earth.” They walked up to the woman speaking to an elderly Betazoid female. “Jutta, Moita, I would like to introduce you to Leonard McCoy and James Kirk. Leonard is a surgeon. He and Jim are in the Academy. Jim is on his way to command and alliance negotiator. You remember my daughter Seriana. She is also at the Academy. She’s going for a PHD and PSYD.”

 

Moita stepped forward first. “Seriana, I remember when you were just that big. Look at you now. That must mean I am an old woman.” She looked Len and Jim up and down. “That is interesting.” She couldn’t read their minds.

 

“Mrs. Troy, it is good to see you again.” Seri gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I’m sorry, dad left out one thing, Len’s my fiancé.”

 

She looked reproachfully at Jazined. “That was a big thing to leave out Jaz.”

 

“Sorry ma’am.” He looked like a little boy being scolded by an aunt.

 

Moita shook Len’s hand. “You take good care of her.”

 

“Yes ma’am.” Len had a feeling she was the matriarch of the Troy family.

 

She turned her attention to Jim, allowing him to shake her hand. _“Seriana, the women are going to thank you for bringing these two.”_

 

Seri giggled. “What is it Imzadi?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

The ambassador joined in. She shook all of their hands. “Seriana, it’s good to see you again.”

 

“It’s good to see you ambassador. From what I’ve read you have been doing an amazing job.”

 

“Thank you. Gentlemen, it is good to meet you.” She looked at both of them and wondered if they knew what the next few minutes would bring.

 

Seri and Jazined led the men to the side of the room across from three sets of double doors. Len assumed they led to the sanctuary. He noticed long lockers lining the wall and benches in front of them. Maybe they were for clothing used in inclement weather. “Dad, I bet Tericha looks beautiful. She and Talin are great together.” The lights flickered and the doors opened.

 

Len noticed that no one walked toward the newly opened room. They all started to move to the lockers. He turned to ask Seri what was going on when he noticed her dad removing his jacket and hanging it in a locker. Jim was joining him. Actually, the entire room was disrobing. By the time he turned back to Seri she was completely naked, arranging her shoes in the bottom of the locker. Thank God they were bonded. No one would be able to hear what he said to her. _“Seri! What the Fuck!?”_

 

_“Oh, we are naked for the ceremony. It celebrates romantic and sexual love. Don’t worry, you don’t have to be naked. No one ever has to do anything that makes them uncomfortable.”_

_“Now I understand why children aren’t at the ceremony.”_

_“It isn’t the nudity, it is the celebration of sexual love that they can’t understand.”_  

 

Jim was naked and waiting to see what Len was going to do before they walked in. Len looked around the room. Men and women of all ages and body types were walking around unashamed. It was all completely natural. He could go in clothed, but that would draw even more attention, and it would give Jim ammunition for years.

 

Len reasoned that he didn’t have anything to be embarrassed about. He had been working out a lot since he started at the Academy, and none of his lovers had ever complained about his size. Wait until he got a hold of Seri later. She was definitely his. Jim’s payback would have to wait. He started to strip. “That’s the spirit Bones.”

 

Through gritted teeth Len whispered. “I owe you both for this.” Jim laughed causing a few of the guests to turn and look.

 

“You can hang your things with mine baby.”

 

_“Just wait till tonight.”_

_“Promise? I know I’ve been a very bad girl.”_ The devilish smile was back. The group walked in and sat on blessedly cushioned seats. More than a few of the women were looking at Len and Jim.

 

Len noticed the eyes on them. “What are they looking at?”

 

“They don’t get to see men like you that often. They’re curious.” Jim and Len noticed, Earth men were definitely taller, hairier, and more muscular then Betazoids. The rest was about the same. Seri sat between Jim and Len with Jim in the aisle seat. Jazined sat next to Len. “How are you doing?”

 

“Your daughter has a sick sense of humor.”

 

“She takes after me. But this wasn’t my idea.”

 

“Jaz?”

 

“That was my nickname growing up. Family still calls me that. You can call me that if you want. I know my name can be a mouthful.”

 

“Thank you. Is there anything else I should know?”

 

“No, this is the only thing that could be uncomfortable. We all dress for the reception.”

 

“Good.” The music started. A young man walked to the front with an older man and woman acting as if they were trying to keep him from going. They pulled at his arms half-heartedly, the woman was crying. It looked almost like a pantomime.

 

Jaz leaned toward Len. “That is the groom and his parents. It’s to show his resolve in marrying the woman he loves. He leaves his parents to join with his fiancé. They will become their own family unit.”

 

“We have a passage in one of our religious books that pertains to this. It’s often read at weddings.” Len had forgotten he was nake. Once the man made it to the front his parents took their seats.

 

A lovely young woman began her walk down the aisle. She had silk ribbons woven though her hair, and she carried a large bouquet of peach and white colored flowers. Len noticed her glance at Jim who smiled at her. “Don’t worry Len, she’s not the bride. She’s free to play.”

 

The young woman called for the bride to join her betrothed at the altar. With that a woman who strongly resembled Seri stood and took the grooms hand. Her smile could have lit the room brighter than the lights that hung from the ceiling. Len saw the love between the two. For him the awkwardness had melted away to reveal a love devoid of artifice and pretense. It was complete and pure.

 

Jim watched the scene in front of him. The way the bride looked at the groom, only one woman ever looked at him in that way. He wanted that, he wanted her to always look at him that way. Jim realized he needed to become a man worthy of that type of love. “You are you know?”

 

“Stop reading my thoughts.”

 

“I’m not. You’re blocking us all.”

 

“One day I will.”

 

“Jimmy…”

 

“It’s alright Kiddo, one day.”

 

She took Len’s hand. Their love for each other felt like the warm sun that flooded through the amber colored windows. Tericha was a lucky woman; Seri could tell she felt that type of love for Talin. She loved her cousin and wanted only the best for her. The ceremony lasted about a half an hour with songs sung at the end. The music sounded like a light breeze. It had an ethereal feel that added to the pure beauty of the ceremony. At the end the bride and groom processed up the aisle as the congregation stood and applauded. They were smiling, Tericha was giggling.

 

“Lenny, we follow out and go through the receiving line. We dress after they go to their room to dress. They usually do more than that. It is traditional for there to be at least an hour and a half between the ceremony and the reception. There will be pictures taken while light appetizers are brought around.” Len looked concerned. “Don’t worry, they don’t take pictures or bring in the children until we are all dressed.”

 

“Good, no one wants to see this.” He looked down at himself. They filed out of the row and joined the receiving line.

 

Jaz looked around the room. “Ha! I wouldn’t say that.” Most of the younger women were still staring at Jim and Len. “Want to know what their thinking?”

 

“Thanks, but I don’t need to be a telepath to figure it out.” He leaned closer to Jazined. “Thank God Jim’s relationship with my sister is new, or we would have a problem.”

 

“He won’t do anything. I can feel that even though he thinks no one can feel him.”

 

“Don’t worry, I know they aren’t ready for monogamy, not yet. Don’t tell him how much I know.”

 

“I won’t.” They finally got to the beautiful couple.

 

Seri started the introductions. “Tericha, Talin, this is Jim Kirk. He is my friend from the Academy.” Jim shook hands with the couple. “And this is my fiancé, Leonard McCoy.”

 

Len shook their hands as Tericha tried to read him. “Seriana, you taught these two well. I can’t read either of them. I want to talk to you later.”

 

“Yes ma’am. Congratulations.”

 

They walked down the rest of the line as Seri introduced them to the other members of the bride and groom’s family and the bridesmaid. “Jim, this is Madriana. She is engaged to that man over there.” Jim shook her hand and continued to the lockers. Len shook her hand. He knew it wasn’t his imagination, Madriana was staring at every inch of him.

 

Len and Seri walked to Jim. “Not very subtle, is she?”

 

“Not at all. She is our Sandra.”

 

Len smiled. “Got it.” It wasn’t long before the newly married couple disappeared and the guests got dressed. He walked up to Seri. _“Let me help you with your zipper. You are mine later. I do owe you for this.”_

 

She reached up and kissed him. It was a kiss with promise. Jaz came up behind his daughter. “Alright you two, that is for later. Let’s get to the reception. I bet Jo is waiting.”

 

The group walked next door to the reception hall. As soon as they entered Jo came running up. She introduced her dad and uncle to all of her new friends. They were all anxious to meet their cousin’s friends.

 

Danae joined Seri. “Jo was a big hit. She is very bright.”

 

“Just like her father. Was she good for you?”

 

“She was perfect. She kept the other kids entertained. It made my job easier. So, you are engaged to that stunning man?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“If all Earth men look like them, I’m moving as soon as I’m old enough.” Seri laughed as she walked to her dad.

 

“Danae has a crush.”

 

“On which one?”

 

“I don’t think it matters to her. Len did well. He only turned a light pink.”

 

“You two enjoyed that far too much.”

 

“We’ll pay for it later. I’m glad they got married. They’ll have a good life together.”

 

“They will. They are relocating in a couple of years. Her job takes her to Federation headquarters at least once a month. They’ll likely move closer to Earth.”

 

“That would be nice. I might get to see them more often.”  The drinks and food were being served. Len and Jim were mingling with the other guests. The family was curious about the men in Seri’s life. Len suspected they wanted to make sure he was good enough for their girl.

 

Tachin and Talin returned. She looked a little flushed as they joined the reception. Len looked at Seri. She smiled her wicked smile. Jaz joined his cousins as Seri went to her fiancé. The music started. Several couples made their way to the dance floor. The dance they did was similar to the Earth waltz. Len took Seri into his arms and began to dance her slowly around the dance floor. “So, they make love while we all wait for their return.”

 

“It is an ancient custom. The marriage isn’t valid unless it’s consummated. The sooner that is done the better.”

 

He leaned close to her ear. “I like that custom. When we get married I want all of you before we go to the reception.”

 

“Oh, I think that can be arranged.” Just then the photographer took a picture of the engaged couple. After, they sat at a table with Jaz, Jim, and Jo. Another song began to play.

 

Jo was seated next to Jim. She was telling him all about her day when Mardiana came up. “Come on, we should dance.”

 

“I would love to, but I promised all my dances to my best girl.” With that he took Jo to the dance floor. He had her stand on his feet while he rocked back and forth to the music. It wasn’t long before everyone found their seats and luncheon was served.

 

“Uncle Jim, why don’t you like that girl? She’s pretty. I know she isn’t very nice. And I know you love…”

 

“Okay Munchkin. She isn’t my type.”

 

“You mean because she isn’t like au…”

 

“Jo.” His look told her she needed to stop talking about it. Len had heard, but he acted as if he wasn’t paying attention and heard nothing.

 

The wedding was fun, though low key by Earth standards. There were no formal dances. It was all about being with family and friends. “Len, this is a casual wedding. There are more formal ones, but I think these are nicer. The formal ones are so stuffy.”

 

“I like this too. It is similar to our family weddings. We just have a few formal dances and a couple other customs you don’t follow. I like both types.”

 

“Can we combine them when we get married?”

 

“I definitely like the one custom.” His hand reached under the table cloth and rested on her leg. He began to shift her skirt up her leg until he was playing with her inner thigh. His fingers went higher until they played with her panties. Seri squirmed under his touch. She wanted him in her. _“Later, I promise.”_

_“I want you, all of you.”_

Lunch ended and the music continued for the next couple of hours. Everyone danced. Jo loved jumping around the floor with the rest of the children. She danced with her dad, he held her in his arms as they turned around the floor. Jim danced with the bride and Seri. Seri danced with the groom, Jim and her dad. She also danced with Len a few more times. All in all, it was a fun morning and early afternoon. Everyone was laughing, talking, and dancing. As the reception wound down, Jazined collected his family. They said their goodbyes and left for home.

 

Jo was still excited when they arrived at the house. She told them about everyone they met, and how the women were jealous because Uncle Jim only danced with her, Aunt Seri, and the bride. Len sat enthralled with all of her little girl stories. Each one seemed to hold equal importance to her.  Seri’s mother would arrive shortly. He needed to make sure Jo was gone before that happened. “Turtle, why don’t you get changed so you can go riding.” She kissed her dad and ran up the staircase to her room.

 

Seri and Jim both went to their rooms to change. Len watched them as the ascended the stairs. “It will be alright Len. No matter what happens you will be able to handle it. You’re stronger than you think son.”

 

“Am I? I can’t lose her, I can’t.”

 

“You won’t. You’re love is stronger than anything my soon to be ex-wife could elicit in my daughter. That is what will save her, and you. Today is your first test, but there will be many more in the future. Always remember, your love will get you through things you never thought you could survive. Look to each other, lean on each other, trust each other, and there is nothing the two of you won’t be able to accomplish or overcome.”

 

“Thank you for that.”

 

“Go get changed. You want her to underestimate you. In that suit Lenoxia will know how formidable you are.”

 

Len followed Jaz up the stairs. He went to his and Seri’s room. She didn’t know what she was capable of, she didn't know what he knew. Maybe that would protect her. If she didn’t know, it was possible it wouldn’t happen. Who was he kidding he needed to be prepared. This was most likely going to be the day Lenoxia Targan learned exactly who her youngest was.

 

Len stopped short. Had he imagined it, or had Jazined called him son. He didn’t imagine it. He trusted Len with the thing that he held most dear. He trusted his son.


	55. chapter 55

Most of the people had left before Jim walked down the back stairs. Nyota was in the kitchen with Spock. He overheard her say that “No, humans do not equate food with death.” Jim smiled as he shook his head. Hikaru and Ben had taken Demora back to their house. They would return for dinner. Jayla was with Scotty. They had left, gotten changed and come back. He took her to the stables near the house to introduce her to the family’s horses. She had never seen one before the funeral and wanted to know more about them. Mama was talking to Kat in the sunroom, and George was discussing the newest fraud case with Jazined in their office. Cal and Seri were looking over the addition and discussing how talented Sarah was.

 

He looked for Jake but couldn’t find him or Sarah. Jo was also missing. She was quiet after the ceremony. Len had her during the ceremony and before. Jim knew Len needed his baby. Maybe she was in his room. The house smelled of Christmas. Sarah went all out as usual. He knew that within the next day the bedrooms would be decorated as elaborately as the rest of the house. He didn’t see Evan or Joce either, though he assumed they would also be over for dinner. All of the leaves were in the dining room table and there were twenty chairs around it. The kids would be set up in the kitchen as usual. Jo would have to be there to keep an eye on them.

 

Adam, Christine, Carol, and Joseph went home right after the luncheon. They would be back for the ceremony. Joseph said he needed to ask a favor, but it could wait. Jim walked back to the new offices. It was easy to tell which was his. Sarah had a good sense of humor. He loved everything she did with it. The large portrait of George Kirk didn’t hang in there, it hung in the upstairs gallery, there was also a small one in mama and Cal's office. She knew Jim, he didn’t need to have his father’s ghost visit.

 

Quietly he walked to the front porch. This was one of Jimmy’s favorite places to sit and think. He heard a rustle at the couch next to the third pillar from the left. Jo was shuffling in the seat, her back to him, oblivious to anything around her. Jim walked over and sat next to his niece. She didn’t look at him, but threw her arms around him and began to cry onto his shoulder. He held her tight, surprised by her reaction. His hand gently massaged the back of her head as he spoke to her in the soft tone he used when she was a child. It took her over ten minutes to stop crying. “It’s alright monkey, I’ve got you. Shhhh. I’m here now. It’s alright.” He didn’t let go of her.

 

“No, no it isn’t. Pavel is gone. Uncle Jim it could have been you. It was you years ago. It could have been dad or Aunt Seri. I miss Pavel, I do, and it hurts; but what if it had been one of you. I remember every day you were in that tube. You don’t, but I do.” She clung to him tighter.

 

Jim understood. She loved Pavel, but not in the way she loved him, and certainly not in the way she loved her dad or Seri. “Jo, I’m here, so are your dad and Seri. We’re safe. We’re alright.”

 

“Dad isn’t, and I don’t mean the normal grieving. I know what happened on Mylus.” Jim’s heart began to race. “I know all of it. We could have lost him. We did lose part of him. I feel it in all of you. Part of you is gone and it will never come back. It is in that black box.” She was sobbing again. Jim rocked her in his arms.

 

“You’re the reason he survived. You’re the reason he came back from the nightmare.” She calmed and pulled back to look her uncle in the face. He was completely sincere.

 

“I wasn’t there.”

 

“Not physically, but you were there baby. During his surgery, Aunt Seri had me talk to him about you. It was the only thing that kept him grounded, the only thing that kept him from quitting. You saved him Jojo, the same way you saved me.” He held her to him again. Part of him loved her the way he knew he would love his own children. She was his, no one loved him the way the McCoy’s did, and no one loved him the way his niece did.

 

She held onto her uncle. She could barely remember a time when he wasn’t a part of her world. Every one she knew outside of the family saw Captain Kirk, Jo saw Uncle Jim. He was the man the held her during some of her nightmares, the man who took her riding all the way to town, the man who saw her for who she was. He was more like another father than an uncle. She knew she had three fathers, but she only had one dad.

 

When she read what had happened to her dad she didn’t know how to react. Should she talk to him about it, or should she let it go. After their time in the chapel, she felt it was important for him to remain her daddy. He wanted to be her pillar, the one she could always count on to be strong, and he was. “Uncle Jim, thank you.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Being there for all of us. One day, maybe, I will be there for you.”

 

“You have been Jo. More than you know.” He saw Geoff’s vehicle coming towards the house. Her arms moved to around his chest as she clung to him harder. Evan had always been a great father to her. But for Jo, some days she needed her daddy or Uncle Jim. Pavel was gone, but they were still here. She didn’t want to let go. What if he wasn’t there when she did? Geoff saw Jo with her face buried into Jim’s neck. He walked directly into the house. Jim let Jo melt. She needed it. Part of her was still the little girl that ran up the front steps, ponytail bouncing. “Jo, no matter what the future holds, we will always be with you. Pavel will be with you forever.”

 

“But, I don’t want to lose you the way I lost him. It isn’t the same.”

 

“I know sweetheart. I know.” This was the first time she lost someone that close to her. Jim knew it would hurt in ways she hadn’t anticipated. “Jo, you can talk to your dad about what you know.”

 

She sat up, eyes red and swollen, face wet. “No, I can’t. It would hurt him too much. He wants me to see him as strong.”

 

“Do you, or did this change things?” He brushed the remaining tears from her cheeks.

 

“No! He is one of the strongest men I have ever known. I don’t think I could have done what he did.”

 

“You could.” His voice had become quiet. She wasn’t much older than he was on Tarsus IV. Jo caught the change in her uncle’s demeanor. She would address that later. There was something there, something fleeting, something he had never allowed her to see before.

 

“Maybe, I am his daughter and your niece. Uncle Jim, one day we need to talk.”

 

Jim looked into her. Shit, she saw! He would need to let her know about Tarsus IV. Not today, but one day he would have to let her in. “At times I wish you weren’t so much like your father.” He smiled weakly at her. “But you’re right. Just not today.”

 

“Definitely not today. You really think I should talk to him?”

 

“Yes. You know what is in the report, you don’t know what was in his head. Or what happened on the ship. He’ll tell you what he is comfortable with, but he won’t tell you everything.”

 

“Because I’m still his baby?”

 

“Yes. You will always be his little girl. He will respect you, and treat you like an adult, but under it you will always be his baby.”

 

Jo smiled. Her eyes smiled the way they did when she was a little girl. “I like that. I’m not an adult yet, I know that, but I understand more than most kids my age.”

 

“Sorry about that.” It couldn’t have been easy growing up as Lieutenant Commander Leonard McCoy’s daughter, and Captain James T. Kirk’s niece.

 

“It’s alright Uncle Jim. I wouldn’t give up our life together for anything. I should go see dad.” Jim looked concerned. “Don’t worry, I don’t want to talk yet. I just want him.” Jim stood and helped her up. He kissed her on the nose the way he did when she was a little girl in his arms. “Thank you, Uncle Jim.”

 

“You never have to thank me for this baby. I am always here for you.”

 

“I know.” She walked into the house with him. Jo walked up to Len’s room and Jim went looking for Geoff.

 

Geoff came out of George and Jazined’s office. “Hey Jimmy, I needed to drop off some contracts for Mr. Targan to look at. I’m getting a supply of vulcia from the new colony. It’s rare now, and they need the funds. We all win. I saw Cal head out back with Seri. Here, I think this is what you had in mind.”

 

“Not here, I don’t trust the little shit not to walk in. Come with me.” They walked into Jim’s office; he locked the door. Jim went to the window and pulled the blinds down. He was taking absolutely no chances. If anyone could mess this up it was Caroline McCoy.

 

Geoff pulled the box out of his pocket and handed it to Jim. Jim opened it slowly. The stones sparkled at the introduction of the overhead lighting. Geoff had put it into a box with a white crushed velvet interior. The white made the pink more vibrant and the diamonds seem colorless. “I sized it, cleaned it, built up the prongs and rhodium plated it. If there is anything else it needs pleases let me know.”

 

“No, this is perfect, better than I imagined. What do I owe you?”

 

“You, nothing. You’re taking on Caroline McCoy, this is my gift to you. I wasn’t kidding, next to my wife she is the best friend I ever had. Therefore, I know what you’re in for. You are a brave man James T. Kirk. In all seriousness, just try to make her happy. That will be my payment.”

 

“I intend to do my damnedest to make her as happy as she has always made me. Thanks Geoff. You have no idea what this means to me.”

 

“Yes, I do. Clair’s stone is from Great Grandma McCoy’s stash. Len wanted her to have it. He knew how much she loved blue.”

 

“She loves sapphires? So does Seri.”

 

“No, hers is a blue diamond. You know Len, nothing was too good for Rob’s little sister.”

 

Jim chuckled. “Before I met him, I didn’t think people like Len and his family existed.”

 

“They don’t. Good luck Jimmy.” Geoff gave Jim a quick hug and left before Cal could corner him.

 

Jim opened the box and took out the ring. He turned it over looking at every angle. The pink reminded him of Cal’s cheeks when he would embarrass her. Years ago, when Len asked Seri, he was terrified she would say no. For the first time, Jim understood that fear. The past years had been hard without her. He needed her to say yes.

 

The sun was just beginning to go down when he went looking for Cal. She was in the kitchen helping set up for the kids’ dinner. “Cal, can I see you for a minute?”

 

“I was helping set the table. Can it wait?”

 

Seri had been helping. “I’ve got it sis. I’ll do this then go up.” She smiled at Jim. She knew what he was going to do.

 

Cal followed Jim out the side door. He took her hand and walked down to the timberline. They walked in silence until he came to their spot in the woods. The spot they made love in every time they came home. The spot he would see in his dreams those years he was without her. They came to the tree that had fallen over. It had disintegrated some since that bonfire, but she still needed his help to climb over it to the opening in the trees.

 

Cal stood in front of him as he drank in the green of her eyes. He would see them every night before he slept. “Jimmy what is it? Usually you drive down here. I’m not complaining, but is there something wrong?”

 

“No, for the first time there is nothing wrong. Cal, I have a question that I need you to answer completely and truthfully.”

 

“Alright?” She was getting nervous. He never acted like this, and the last couple of weeks had been hard.

 

“Do you love me? I’m serious. Do you really love me?”

 

His eyes told her he wasn’t joking. He needed an honest answer, he deserved one. “Jim, I have always loved you. I fell in love with you that first summer. I know I was with other men after that, and you were with other women, but every one of them was measured against you. I never loved any of them. It was you, it was always you. You are the only man I have ever been in love with. No matter what the future holds you are a part of me.”

 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he began all he needed to say. When he opened them again she was still staring at him. “You are a part of me. I adore you, I always have. You were perfection from that first summer. Anyone else I was with was a toy. They were all compared to you and none came close. You are the only woman I have ever been in love with and you are the only one I will ever completely and truly love. For me it is as if you and I are physically joined. If you ever left I don’t know how I would survive. You have always made me happy, and I want to make you happy for the rest of your life.” He knelt in front of her. “Caroline McCoy, I love you with all that I am. Will you marry me?”

 

Jim had never been so scared in his life. Right now, a Klingon attack would seem calming. Cal knelt with him, tears threatened to escape her eyes. “Yes, I can’t live without you. I want to be Mrs. James T. Kirk.” She threw her arms around him crying as he held her. He closed his eyes and thanked a God he half believed in for giving her to him.

 

“Dr. Kirk. Don’t ever forget who you are. I love you exactly the way you are.”

 

“I adore you Captain.” She kissed him, opened her mouth to him. Their tongues played as the kiss deepened.

 

Jim pulled back. He pulled the box out of his pocket. “Here honey, if you don’t like it please let me know.” She opened the box as he was talking.

 

Cal’s hand shook as she removed the ring. Her voice was a whisper as she handed it to him. “Please put it on me.”

 

Jim put it on her finger and kissed it. He captured her in his eyes before he ghosted his lips over hers. She opened for him and pushed her body flush with his. His hands enveloped her back. Without thinking she removed her hand from his neck and ran it over his ass and to the front of his pants. She dropped her other hand and undid his belt. She wanted all of him. He was hers, all hers. Her hand went into his pants and began to stroke his already throbbing hard cock. Without him touching her she was soaking wet.

 

It was cold out. Jim thought quickly about how they could make love without freezing. It wouldn’t be too difficult if he could get her wet enough. He knew he was already rock hard. “Slow down.”

 

“No, I need you in me. I am yours, all yours.” He growled as their lips crashed against each other. His tongue was in her mouth trying to get as deep as possible. His hands went to her belt. It took no effort at all to undo her belt and pants. His hand was in her underwear. God she was so wet. He wanted to taste her. He pulled away from her mouth and center. As she watched he sucked her juices from his fingers.

 

She wanted him, she wanted him in everyway possible, in her mouth, in her. At least one of those would have to wait until later that night. “Cal, I need you to get on all fours. I want you but I don’t want us to freeze.”

 

Cal giggled as she pulled her pants down past her knees. He did the same releasing his cock. It pointed straight up waiting for him to plunge into his fiancé. She was on her knees with her ass in the air. It was cold, but neither of them felt it. He ran his fingers over her folds as he stroked himself.

 

He plunged in with one then two fingers finding her g-spot. She moaned low and loud as he continued to pump both of them suddenly she came over his hand, juices flowed down his fingers as she screamed his name. Jim couldn’t hold back anymore. He needed to be in her, to cum in her, to fill her. Without warning he impaled her on his dick. “Fuck Jim! Harder, please harder.” She knew he needed to feel all of this. He needed to lose control. He needed to lose himself in her.

 

She rubbed her clit in time to his thrusts. The thrusts were fast and hard. He was moaning her name and grunting as he drove into her. “Goddamn Cal. Fuck me. Be with me, just me. I need you Cal, please.”

 

She slammed back into him as she continued to rub her clit. Her walls were beginning to spasm around his cock. “It’s just us Jim, just us. I love you.” Jim had her hips. He pulled her back onto him as he thrusted forward. She was coming completely undone. He started to see white as he felt her walls milking out his orgasm.

 

In unison they screamed as they came. Neither could stop cumming. Jim kept thrusting as Cal pushed back into him. He hit her cervix every time pushing her to cum again, as she did he had another orgasm. He couldn’t stop cumming. He groaned out her name; he couldn’t stop fucking her. After a few more thrusts he became too sensitive and had to pull out. Cal couldn’t move.

 

Her insides continued to contract. Jim leaned over her, enveloping her in his arms. He started to finger her again. He knew she wasn’t done. He wasn’t either. As insane as it was he was getting hard again. So much for refractory time. He knew what he wanted. He knelt behind her. She had a perfectly apple shaped butt. The fingers of his right hand continued to drive her crazy as he licked the index finger of his left hand. The index finger ran around her anus as she moaned louder.

 

Jim whispered in her ear as he bent closer. “Please let me know if you want me to stop. No matter what I’m doing I’ll stop.”

 

“God, don’t stop. I trust you Jim. I want you.” She was growling through her teeth as he continued.

 

Now he wanted it all. “Tell me exactly what you want. Tell me Cal. I won’t do anything unless you tell me to do it.”

 

“I need you to finger fuck my ass. I need you to do it with at least three fingers. Please Jim.” He loved it when she talked dirty during sex. It got him hard faster. He stuck his index finger in and began to stretch her opening. She moaned louder as she felt the burn from the stretch. He spit on her opening as he inserted a second and then a third finger. He continued to stretch her. She was pushing against his hand. “God Jim, fuck my ass! I need to feel you cum!”

 

He pulled his fingers out and spit on his left hand. He wanted to make sure his dick was wet enough. Precum wasn’t going to be enough for this. He had never done this with her. He had never done this without a condom. She was the only one with which he had unprotected sex. They got tested after Kahn, and he hadn’t been with anyone since. From what Bones had said, it was the same for her.

 

Jim entered her slowly. He wanted her to have time to stretch. His cock was thick, he didn’t want to rip her. God, she felt amazing. This was tighter than her tight pussy. It took all of his control not to pump hard into her. She moaned so deliciously. He was lost. “Tell me what you want.” He clenched his jaw so his request came out as something between a moan and a growl.

 

“I need to feel your cock in my ass. I need you to take me. I need you to fuck me until I feel your cum fill me. Fuck me! Fuck my ass as hard as you want. Do it Jim. Cum in my ass!”

 

He leaned over her and rubbed his dick using the fingers of his right hand that were in her pussy. He could feel the sensation through to his legs. He pumped hard into her making sure not to remove his fingers. The tips of his fingers pushed against her g-spot and the knuckles continued to rub his dick. He was breathing hard in her ear. She pushed down to his finger then shoved her ass to his pelvis. She wanted it all at once.

 

Finally, Cal couldn’t hold back anymore. She almost felt like she was peeing herself, but she wasn’t. She was cumming hard and her juices flooded out of her. This sent Jim over the edge “Fuck yes Cal! Cum for me. AGHHHHHH!” With that he filled her. His dick continued to spasm for a good minute before he stopped. Slowly he pulled out. Careful not to touch her with his left hand he turned her in his arms and kissed her with all the love they both felt. She laid on his lap as he knelt on the cold ground.

 

Jim didn’t want them to freeze. They were soaked and would feel the cold shortly. He helped her up and then carefully stood. They were both shaking, but not from the cold. Quickly they pulled up their pants. She did her belt and he did his. Without any warning her arms were around his neck. She held onto him as if her life depended on it.

 

“I’m here honey.” He held her close to him. “It’s just us.”

 

“We should tell the others.”

 

“Tonight, before dinner. Until then we could spend time in our room.”             

 

“Really?”

 

“Come on, you’re in better shape than that. I have something I’ve wanted to try for a long time.”

 

“Alright. Let’s go.” He had a good idea of what she wanted. A long shower was needed first, or he would never be able to move. Cal grabbed the ring box. Jim smiled, and she called him sentimental.

 

No one was in the kitchen when Jim drug Cal up the back stairs. They smelled like the cold and sex, not something he wanted anyone to notice. Once they were in their room he locked both doors. Cal noticed the dresser top was empty. She didn’t say anything. He would talk to her later. Now was the time for a long hot shower before they played some more. Cal wanted both of them to have trouble walking by the time they were done. If Len had a PHD in kinky, there were days his little sister could teach the entire curriculum.

 

Jo had gone to her room. She wanted to throw some cold water on her face before she went to her dad. It had been bad on the front porch, but her uncle had taken care of her. Now she wanted to sit with the man who had always kept her safe. The man she measured all other men by, and probably always would. She shouldn’t look like she had been punched in the face. He didn’t need that worry. Finally she felt presentable enough not to raise too many red flags.

 

Len sat on his veranda overlooking the peach grove. He hadn’t moved since Jim left. Seri was with Cal taking in the renovations. Everything was silent, the noise from downstairs didn’t bleed into this part of the house. He felt someone walk up behind him. “Daddy?”

 

“Turtle, come here baby.” Len held out his arms. She fell into them, allowing his strength to keep her safe and secure. “I’m here baby. I have you.”

 

She was shaking, and her eyes had given away the fact she had been crying. “Please don’t leave.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere baby. I’m here for at least a year. Uncle Scotty can give you a more precise date.” He tucked her head under his chin.

 

“I just…I don’t know.”

 

“I do. You read that report.”

 

“It isn’t that. I mean it is, but it isn’t.” She stood up and walked to the railing. He followed his little girl. Her eyes looked across the orchard to the cemetery. Pavel’s grave was visible from Len’s veranda. “He is gone forever. Uncle Jim said he is always with us, and I know he is, but it isn’t the same. When I got the news, I had Uncle Evan help me glue all of the chess pieces to where they were in our game. He gave me that chess set when I turned ten. Once he taught me, he was the only person who could beat me.”

 

Len knew she needed to talk about him. It hurt, but he let her go on. “I never thought this could happen. I remember Uncle Jim in that damn tube.” She looked at her father. “Sorry, darn tube.”

 

“It’s alright baby. Language doesn’t matter right now. Just talk to me.”

 

“They tell us what can happen. You know they send the families to class about what it is like to be a member of what they call the Starfleet Family. I have always understood you could die. I remember every day Uncle Jim was frozen. I remember…It doesn’t matter. The point is I understand that this is part of it.”

 

“Part of what?”

 

“Being the daughter of Dr. Leonard McCoy.”

 

“And you hate me for it? It’s okay if you do. I hate myself sometimes.”

 

“You hate yourself a lot. I have always known that. No daddy, I don’t hate you, and I don’t hate Uncle Jim or Aunt Seri either. It is just that there is a difference between the concept…”

 

“And the reality.”

 

She looked into her father for the first time. “Yes. I read the report, and we can talk about it anytime you want. But ultimately, you are here, I know that, but a part of you is also in the ground. When I was little and the colt I tried to save died Uncle Jim told me the price of great love was great pain. He also told me it was worth it; that when the pain ended, the love would remain.”

 

“He was right. It is worth it. Right now, I’m having a hard time with that concept.”

 

“So am I. I hurt for Pavel, but I hurt for you as well. Part of you died with him, I feel it.”

 

Len pushed the strand of hair that hung in front of her face, behind her ear. “It did, but not the best part of me. The best part of me is in this house tonight. You are here.”

 

“And Aunt Seri, Aunt Cal, Uncle Jim, Grandma, Grandpa, Granddad, and Uncle Spock.”

 

“And Aunt Nyota. Yes, and you know there are others, but you are at the top.”

 

“And Aunt Seri.”

 

“That’s a different kind of love.”

 

“I know. It’s like mom says, different but equal.”

 

“Exactly. I’m different baby, I won’t deny that. But that doesn’t mean I’m destroyed. This changed all of us, even you. In a way it brought us closer together. We have each other and that is what matters. I can tell you have questions. It’s alright Turtle, you can ask me anything. If I can answer, I will.”

 

She didn’t want to ask, she didn’t want to hurt the man she loved the most in the universe, but her imagination was getting the best of her. “I know what you did for Pavel. Did he know what you were going to do, or was it a shock?”

 

He wasn’t ready for that question. Jo saw his eyes change to gold. How could he tell her, she couldn’t possibly understand, could she? “He knew. He knew exactly what I was going to do.”

 

 Jo took her father’s hand and sat on the couch. “Was he scared?”

 

“No. He was scared of going back with them, of dying alone.” It was easier than he thought to give her simple answers to her questions.

 

“Why does Uncle Jim seem to understand exactly how you feel? I can feel that when he looks at you.”

 

“That you will have to ask him. That isn’t my story to tell.”

 

“Okay. Did he suffer?”

 

Len took her hand in his. He played with her fingers as he continued. “No, he just went to sleep. He died in my arms. In the end I was the last thing he saw, the last person he felt.” He sat remembering when she was a baby and he could make her giggle by pretending to eat her fingers.

 

“Why were you angry with him?”

 

He looked up. “What do you mean?”

 

“Last night. You were angry with him when I walked into the chapel.”

 

“No baby, I wasn’t angry with him, not really. I was hurting. Part of me wished it was me. He had his whole life ahead of him. But there was you, and Seri. I didn’t want to leave either of you, so I felt guilty about that.”

 

“About what?”

 

“About being glad in a way that it wasn’t me in there. I didn’t want it to be him, but I didn’t want it to be me either. And before you ask, yes I would have sacrificed myself for him.”

 

“But what about me?”

 

“Jo, you are the only reason I’m still here. I made it through all of it because of you. I made it through the torture because I thought about you and then the family. I could feel Seri, but I kept thinking about you. During my surgery, I wouldn’t let them sedate me. Jim talked to me about you. He told me you needed to see me, to see your daddy.”

 

“He was right.”

 

“Because of that I fought to survive. Do you understand?”

 

“Sort of.”

 

“I am the least important person to me.”

 

“But not to me. Dad, I need you to understand how important you are to us. I need you to understand how important you are to me.”

 

“I do, I do now.”

 

“Please don’t leave me.”

 

“I have time left on my enlistment. After that I can stay here.”

 

“Actually, I have something to talk to you about. I already talked to mom and Uncle Evan, also I asked Uncle Scotty. I just need you and Aunt Seri to say yes. I may need Uncle Jim as well, I don’t know.”

 

“Joanna McCoy, you are making no sense.”

 

“Oh, sorry. So, Uncle Scotty said they were allowing families on the Enterprise, and he also said there would be accommodations for pets. Mom and Uncle Evan said I could.”

 

“Joanna, out with it.”

 

“I’m sorry. I want to come with you and Aunt Seri when you go back to the Enterprise. I think it would be good for me. You know I want to go to school for Zoology and maybe become a vet. This would give me an opportunity to see animals on other worlds. I can take Shadow with me. He is only nine and I know he can live to be fourteen. I wouldn’t leave him behind, but Uncle Scotty told me it wouldn’t be a problem as long as he was house broken.”

 

“So that is what you asked him on the shuttle.”

 

“Yes daddy.”

 

Seri was yelling yes in his head. “Well, your Aunt Seri is happy about it. Seri is screaming ‘Yes!’ in my head. Sorry, she was reading my thoughts when she felt me getting upset. I just need to ask Jim.”

 

“Please let me.”

 

“You know he can’t say no to you. That isn’t fair.”

 

“I know.” She had a wicked smile. “After dinner?”

 

“I think so. Seri said he needs to talk to all of us before dinner.”

 

She snuggled in close to her dad’s side. It was getting colder. They watched Jim and Cal walk to the side door. “I wonder what those two were up to.”

 

“Joanna McCoy!”

 

She giggled. “I love you daddy.”

 

“I love you too Turtle.” His little girl was growing up.


	56. chapter 56

 Seri had taken the pins out of Jo’s hair. She would take them with them back to Earth along with the strands in her hair. The gems had been in her father’s family for generations, and she thought it would be nice to have them for Jo, and maybe Len and her future daughters. She knew her dad wanted her to bring things back that were a part of her heritage. One day hopefully they would have children and it would be important to show them where their mom came from.

 

Len walked into the bedroom as Seri was putting on her pants. “Jaz said I should change. I figured jeans and a …”

 

“Henley, that would be ok. You feel nervous.”

 

“A little, should I be there when your mom comes in?”

 

“No. Just wait in the library. She won’t go in there. I think she is allergic to books.” Seri laughed as she finished dressing. “Get ready, she’ll be here soon. I want to make sure Jo is out of the house. Dad may want help packing later would that be alright?”

 

“Mmhmm.”

 

“Imzadi, it will be alright. As long as Jo isn’t here she can’t really hurt anything.”

 

“Sure.” He was nervous about what could happen. Maybe if she didn’t know about her ability nothing would happen. Then she could learn about it later. Who was he kidding, he wasn’t that lucky.

 

Seri went to Jo’s room. The little one was already dressed. “Aunt Seri, can you fix my hair? We’re going to ride horses with Uncle Jim. I can’t get it right and it won’t fit into the helmet. Do they have helmets there?”

 

Seri had her sit in front of the mirror and grabbed a brush and coated elastic band for the hair. “They do, but dad kept mine in the closet in the solarium. I’m sure one of them will fit you. And before you ask, I never fell in them. As soon as I would bump it, dad would buy me a new one.”

 

“Daddy and Mommy do the same thing for me. Aunt Seri, will they let me take Shadow on the transport? I promised him I wouldn’t leave him.”

 

“Don’t worry munchkin, I’ll make sure we take one that will take him. I have to change our accommodations anyway. Dad will be with us and I didn’t book enough rooms. You know, I think he loves you.”

 

“He does. I love him too. He’s nice and makes me laugh. You know, I like having him as a granddad.”

 

Seri brushed out her hair and pulled it back into a flat French braid. “There you go. Let’s get you a helmet.”

 

“Thank you!” She gave Seri a kiss on the cheek before they went down to the solarium. There was a purple sparkled helmet that fit perfectly. “Did your sister ride?”

 

“No baby, Celiasa doesn’t like animals.” Jo took her hand as they walked through the house.

 

“How could she not like animals?”

 

“She takes after my mother. She doesn’t like animals either. I’m like my dad, we love them.”

 

Len met Jim and Jaz in the library. He was beginning to love this room. “Seri told me to stay in here when her mother comes.”

 

“Stay in here son, but stay in her head as well. Jim and I have Jo, you don’t need to worry about her. You have my permission to tell the bitch to leave. You have the authority to kick her out. This is my place and while I am away I am giving you that. Do you understand.”

 

“I always worry about Jo, but I understand what you mean. If it gets bad I’ll get her out of here.”

 

Jim looked at Len. “You’ve got this. Len, you can handle anything. I know you. My big brother can handle anything.”

 

Len smiled a little. Jim had faith in him. He could do this. He would stay in this room, close his eyes, and stay with the love of his life.

 

Seri and Jo walked into the library. “Okay you three, time to get going. Remember Jo, these two are old, you may have to slow down for them.” Jim looked indignant.

 

“I’ll take care of them, don’t worry.”

 

“I won’t as long as you’re with them.”

 

Jaz looked at Jim. “Let’s go son, before she tells Jo we need to take easy mounts.” Jim smiled at him. He was being adopted by Jazined. He took pride in the fact that two men like Jaz and George would care about him that much. The group left and headed to the farm. Jaz had booked a two-hour ride for them. That would be more than enough time for his wife to come, cause trouble, and leave. Part of him wanted to stay, but he knew Len needed to do this on his own. Len and Seri were bonded, he would take care of her, and this could forge them into a team that could take on anything. Part of him still hoped she wouldn’t try to use her ability. He was unable to use that ability until he knew he could, until he knew it existed in him. It was protection for him. Hopefully she would have the same protection. 

 

The three got in the craft and left for the farm. Seri sat with Len in the library. She knew his mind was somewhere, but she couldn’t read his thoughts. It wasn’t long before she heard the craft pull up. “Peaches, please let me stay in you head. I want to be with you.”

 

“Alright, I can handle her, but alright.” Seri left the library and closed the door behind her. She let him into her mind and soul. As much as she wanted to do this by herself, she knew she needed him. He was her anchor.

 

The front door burst open _. “Seriana, it’s nice to finally see you. I assume your father explained the new arrangements to you.”_ Her mother was dressed in the latest fashion. She reminded Seri of an older Virginia McCoy; so put together, so vapid.

 

 _“Hello mother. Yes, he did. He will be coming to Earth with us. You will be able to remove your things at that time.”_ Seri wasn’t giving her any sympathy.

 

_“I will take what I want, when I want. This is all mine. Where are the off worlders?”_

_“Dad took two of them riding. Why?”_ She knew what was coming.

_“No reason. You didn’t come to see me.”_

_“Why would I?”_

 

Lenoxia looked her daughter up and down. _“You are starting to look like one of them. We need to_ _discuss your bank accounts.”_

_“They are none of your concern. None of it is yours.”_ Seri didn’t care about the money, but she would never give this woman control.

_“I am the head of this family. It is all my concern.”_

 

Seri let out an evil laugh as she walked to the drawing room. Len was in her head, she could feel him. She decided to start speaking. It would make it easier for Len and it would irritate her mother. Seri sat on the white couch, her mother sat on the red leather chair. “None of what I do is any of your concern. I am releasing you from any obligation you may feel.”

 

_“You even communicate like them. It is so primitive, so beneath you.”_

“Beneath me? The only thing beneath me is the ground. You’re such a snob. Your way of looking at others in contemptuous.” Her mother looked confused. “There’s a dictionary in the library, look it up.”

 

“How dare you speak to me in that manner?” She was speaking out loud; Seri saw that as a victory. “You owe me respect.”

 

“I told you before, respect is earned, not bestowed. You have never shown me any, why should I show any to you?”

 

“I am your mother and the head of this family.”

 

“See, that is what I think is funny. You were never really my mother. You gave me life. Thank you. Other than that, you were never there for me. Dad was the only one who was always there, and Tachin was more of a mother to me than you ever were. I have people in my life now who love me and value me for who I am.”

 

“Who, that Earth male who half your cousins want to have sex with. He’s a toy, play with him if you must, but don’t fool yourself that he can ever be good enough for you.” Len could feel Seri begin to anger, it felt like standing too close to a fire.

 

“You have no idea what you are talking about. He’s a good man, an intelligent man. He loves me, all of me. You would never understand what that is. You were never able to love anyone more than you love yourself.” She could feel her anger rising. Less than a week ago her mother could reduce her to tears, this felt different. She was no longer the little girl looking for approval. This woman would never be allowed to attack those she loved.

 

Seri was staring at her mother saying nothing. She was developing tunnel vision, Lenoxia was in the middle of it. She couldn’t see anything in the room except for her mother. The tunnel began to turn into flames. The flames didn’t touch Lenoxia, but surrounded her.

 

Lenoxia saw her opening. She wanted control of her daughter. If she could hurt her she could get her to see that she needed the approval of her mother. She couldn’t read her daughter, not her thoughts or her feelings. Something was very different. Still, she believed she could still regain control if she simply focused on the Earthlings. “You really believe that? You think he would ever want you. He will want someone more like him to be around his daughter. You think he would want his daughter raised by a woman like you; a woman who could care less about her family, who treats her mother like garbage. But, that doesn’t matter. That little girl is nothing, she will never be anything to you. Why would she want you near her? And Seriana, they aren’t good enough for you. What are you going to do, raise that trash of an Earth child, have little half breeds of your own? If you have children with that man they will be nothing, nothing on this planet, nothing to your family, and nothing to me. That child you brought into this house is nothing, she is less than nothing. You need to come home and be with your own kind.” Her voice was cold and void of all emotion.

 

Lenoxia disappeared into the flames. Seri could no longer see anything but the flames. She stopped being able to hear anything because of the roar in her ears. Len, he was there somewhere beyond the flames.

 

Len had been sitting in the library. He closed his eyes and concentrated on Seri. Her thoughts were clear to him, but so was what her mother was saying. It echoed in his head, every hate filled word cut at him. Not what she was saying, she meant nothing to him therefore what she said meant nothing. What cut was how it was hurting his lover. Suddenly he felt the heat increase. Now it felt like her mind was engulfed by flames. Fuck! What was she doing?

 

Then he saw it. He saw the nightmare come up in her mind. He saw a woman who he assumed was her sister and two children, they were being consumed by snakes, then they were melting, the flesh was coming off them. Then a woman who must have been her mother came up in front of them. They began to reach for her. The older woman tried to claw her way to them, but they were always out of reach. Len jumped up and ran to the parlor. He stood between Seri and her mother. “Lenoxia get out of here.” He knelt in front of Seri until they were eye to eye. “I’m not kidding get out of here.” His voice was low and hard.

 

“I don’t know who you think you are, but you can’t order me to do anything. This is my house.”

 

His voice softened. “Seri, I need you to look at me, be with me.” He held onto her mentally. It was a struggle, she was pulling away from him, wrestling him to get to her objective. Len was the only thing keeping those nightmares from being implanted into Lenoxia’s psyche. If he couldn’t pull her back the visions would slowly drive the woman insane; that would destroy Seri. “Imzadi, please stay with me, just me. It’s just us. Think about what it’s like when we’re walking in the woods. Think about swimming in the pond. Think about all of us riding to the old church. I’m here, no one else.” The heat was subsiding, but he didn’t know if she saw him. He could still see the nightmares as they played out in her head. Celiasa bleeding out of her eyes and ears, the children drowning just out of reach. The nightmares kept changing, the one constant was Lenoxia, just out of reach, and unable to save them. “I’m here. We’re all safe. No one matters but us. Please come back to me.”

 

He turned toward the woman in the chair. She had a smug satisfied look on her face, as if she had won a contest. Seri’s mother was too ignorant to know the amount of danger she was in. She believed her daughter would come to her, and that the human in front of her was beneath her contempt. Len could feel her even through Seri’s rage. “Lenoxia, it would be in your best interest to leave. Jaz told me I had the authority to kick you out, but I think it would be better if you left of your own accord.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere! This is my house, and that is my daughter. You have no rights here.” There was a satisfied smile starting on the older woman’s face.

 

“Alright.” He took Seri’s hands and helped her stand. “Imzadi, I need you to come with me.” She never took her eyes from his. He could feel the heat continue to go away. They walked out of the room. Len made sure she wouldn’t see her mother, their eyes remained locked. Slowly he coaxed her into the library. As he sat her in a large soft chair, a throw was placed over her legs.

 

“Len?” She could see him now. The nightmares were gone. Seri couldn’t understand what had happened. She needed Len. Where was her mother? Why was she in the library?

 

“I’m here baby. Just stay here until I get back. I won’t be long I promise.” He pulled the throw blanket up to her chin as she tucked her feet under her. She had started to shiver; shock was beginning to set in. “I promise I won’t be long. Then I won’t leave you until you tell me it’s okay.” He left the library and closed the door.

 

Lenoxia was standing in the entryway. She tried to push past him to the library. Len stood in her way. “Get out of my way. I am going to see my daughter. I don’t know what you did to her, but she needs me.”

 

“She needs you to leave and never come back. You will not go in there, and you will not see her again.” Len towered over the woman, he made full use of his height.

 

“You don’t scare me.” She looked up at him. His jaw was set and his eyes were a bright green.

 

“Yes, I do.” He could read the fear in her eyes. “You should be afraid of her, you’re just too stupid to know it. If you keep pushing her I won’t be able to protect you. You know about telepath’s that can plant nightmares in a person’s head. It was all I could do to keep her from doing that to you.”

 

“I…”

 

“Don’t fool yourself into thinking I did it for any reason other than to protect my Imzadi. You mean nothing to me, but she is everything. Leave now and never come near her or my family again. If you go near any of them, you will have reason to fear me. Do we understand each other.” His voice held an icy tone no one who knew him would have recognized.

 

Lenoxia continued to look into his eyes. He was right, she feared him, but now she also feared her daughter. She had heard of such telepaths; she also knew the telepath had to be very powerful to be able to plant thoughts and nightmares. Could Seriana be that gifted? Did she back the wrong daughter.

 

She didn’t want to find out if the Earthling was right. Without a word she walked away from Len and out the front door. Her gate became almost a run as she reached her craft. When he heard the craft pull away he went back to Seri.

 

Len quietly entered the library. Seri hadn’t moved from the chair, but the shaking had become worse. “Peaches, I’m here.”

 

She looked at him as he stooped in front of her. “Len? What happened? I’m so cold.”

 

“I know baby. Let me help you. Let’s go up to bed. I’ve got you Imzadi.” He put one arm under her knees and the other behind her back. He picked her up, and began to walk with her to the staircase. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began to cry. “I have you baby. No one is going to hurt you.” He carried her up the stairs and laid her on the bed. Her jeans were removed and the covers and sheet pulled back. Gently Len placed her under them.

 

“Please don’t leave me.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere sweetheart.” He locked the doors to the room, took off his pants and climbed in with her. Len held her to him and let her cry herself to sleep. There would be plenty of time for her to learn about what happened when she was rested. Her father had been right, as a couple they could overcome anything. He saved her, and he knew it was their love that allowed it.

 

Jazined drove them to the farm near the end of town. The ranch had various types of animals, most of which could be ridden. There were a few others there, all of them off worlders. Jo jumped out of the vehicle and grabbed her helmet. Jim took her hand and followed Jaz to the ranch house. “Seriana and I would come here at least once a week when she was growing up. She took lessons for years.”

 

Jim looked around. It was a beautiful ranch. Secretly he hoped Len would buy the Tyler farm. He wanted to turn it into a place like this, a place where they didn’t just breed horses, but where they could teach others to appreciate them. “How long has this place been here?”

 

“I believe about forty years. Jim, she’ll be alright. Len can take care of whatever happens.” Jim had looked worried, and even if Jaz was just as worried it wouldn’t do any good to let the kid know that.

 

“I know. Jaz, thank you for everything.” Jo was looking at the pictures on the walls. They showed animals from the four corners of the Federation. “You haven’t said anything about what I blocked. Most people can’t resist asking all kinds of questions when they find out who I am. I thought you would ask me about what I blocked.”

 

A man came out and looked at Jaz. “He wants us to follow him.”

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Targan, I didn’t realize they weren’t telepathic. Are you from Earth?”

 

Jim turned to the young Betazoid. “Yes. Thank you for talking. The little one and I can’t read minds.”

 

“That isn’t a problem sir, most of the people who come here can’t either. I have three mounts ready for you. Mr. Targan said you would prefer western tack today.”

 

“That is great. I could use an easy day. The mount isn’t too easy, is he?”

 

“No sir, she gets ornery if she knows you are a novice.”

 

Jim had a huge smile on his face. “Good, this will be fun. How about the one for the little one over there?”

 

“Hers is pretty easy. He is twelve and we use him for lessons. Mr. Targan, we gave you Jingles.”

 

“Good, I didn’t want a completely easy day either. Let’s go. Jo!”

 

She ran to her granddad. “I’m here.”

 

They followed the boy out to the horses. Two thoroughbreds and one paso fino stood at the hitching post. Jo ran to the paso fino. He was only 14.7 hands and would fit her better than the other two. “Uncle Jim, granddad!  Look how pretty he is!”

 

“You’ll like him Jo, they have a wonderful gate. Len may need to get her one later.” Jaz was laughing. They got on the horses and rode slowly to the back of the field. Jo rode to the front. “Jo, stay to the left, it takes us around the woods to the lake. Jim, there is an open field near there. They check it for holes at least once a week. We can open them up when we get there.”

 

Jim was looking at him. “Jaz, I meant it. Thank you.”

 

They were side-by-side watching Jo. “I won’t ask about what you don’t want to share. You can talk to me about anything, but I will never pry.”

 

“You called me son. I like that. You know Seri has told me all about you. I don’t know that much about the rest of the family, but I know all about you.”

 

“I did, Len too. You two are exactly what Seriana said you were. I guess I feel like you are both part of the family. It definitely feels like I have known you for a long time. I hope Len didn’t mind I slipped with him too.”

 

“I am sure he didn’t. Jo, slow down.”

 

Jo slowed to let the men catchup with her. “Jo, we can race when we get to the field next to the lake.”

 

“Yay! Granddad, I love to race.” It wasn’t long before they arrived at the lake. They all lined up ready to go. “Alright, one, two, threeeeeee!” They raced down the field Jim won with Jo and Jaz close behind. “That was fun!” They spent the next couple of hours exploring the forest. Jo was having the time of her life.

 

“Dad, can you feel them?”

 

“Not really. It’s hard from this far away, especially with them being bonded. Can you feel them?”

 

“No, I can only feel Seri, and she has to be close for me to feel her. This was a good idea. Jo seems happy.”

 

“She seems happy most of the time.”

 

“Len and Joce did a good job. Len’s family really has a lot to do with it as well. You’ll like them. His mom and Uncle George have adopted me. I don’t know why, but they did.”

 

“You’re a good man. That may have something to do with it.” Jim looked skeptical. “I mean it. You and Len are good men. Neither of you can see it, but you are.”

 

“So are you, even if you don’t believe it.”

 

“Do you always do that?”

 

“What?”

 

“See through people.” They got back to the hitching post. Jo was giggling as she dismounted. The men followed behind her. Jim didn’t answer Jaz. He didn’t see through people, if he did he wouldn’t have been hurt as often as he had. People he had trusted as a kid did nothing but disappoint and hurt him. The only decent adults he knew growing up, were his aunt and uncle and they died to save him and Kallie. They were the only ones who loved him. Now he had the McCoys. Now he had Seri and Jaz. Now he had Cal. Cal was someone for which life hadn’t prepare him. She knew all about him and still loved him. Len and Seri did as well, but not like Cal.

 

The group jumped into the vehicle and this time Jim drove back to the house. He took extra care with Jo in the back. Jaz sat up front hoping the kid would talk. Seriana had taught them too well. Both of the men were capable of blocking even a strong telepath, and they seemed to do it without any effort. “I don’t see through people. I spent most of my life getting shit on. Sorry for that.” He looked in the rear mirror, luckily Jo was asleep.

 

“Don’t be sorry. I understand how you feel. One day we can go over our families. I know what you let me see, but I have a feeling there is a lot more. One night we need to sit down with some bourbon.”

 

Jim was more at easy. “Maybe not as much as the other night.” Jaz liked his sense of humor. “Maybe we could sit down with Uncle George. You and he are a lot alike, and not because you are both lawyers.”

 

“I am looking forward to meeting Len’s family. Seriana seems to think I’ll fit in there. It’ll be a novelty. I never fit in here.”

 

“You seemed to fit in at the wedding.”

 

“That part of the family likes me, but they don’t understand me.”

 

“I think it’s more that they can’t keep up with you. I noticed how you changed your use of language and posture at the reception.”

 

“You noticed that? I think I do it subconsciously anymore. I like them and I don’t want them to feel intimidated. They use to avoid me when I was a kid, so I adapted.”

 

“They don’t seem to realize what you do. Seri does it as well. I know she doesn’t realize that she does it, but she definitely shifted her language at the reception.”

 

“I guess we both find it easier. My cousins are nice and I love them, but they aren’t like me.”

 

“I think you’ll like the farm. Just be yourself and you’ll fit in perfectly. I never fit in anywhere until I met Len. Okay, so our meeting wasn’t the best, but within a week we started to know each other. Now I wouldn’t give up one minute of it, not even our first shuttle ride.”

 

They pulled into the driveway. “You need to tell me about that one day.”

 

“Oh, I can’t wait! Len will kill me, but it will be worth it.” They parked and got out. Jo was still asleep.

 

Jaz looked up at the house. “Jim, can you get Jo. I’ll call and get Shadow brought back. Can you take her to the kitchen she must be hungry?”

 

“It was bad, wasn’t it?”

 

“Not as bad as it could have been, but it wasn’t good. I don’t want Jo to be upset. I know how much my daughter loves her and she wouldn’t want Jo to see her this way. She is asleep right now, but there is no way to know how she’ll be when she wakes. Maybe Jo would like to see the gardens. You said she wanted to see a mukluk. There is a grove of them in the garden on the island in the middle of the pond.”

 

“I’ve got her. Don’t worry.” Jaz walked up the front stairs as Jim leaned into the vehicle. He ran the back of his hand down Jo’s cheek. She looked like a little angel when she slept. To her Uncle she always looked like an angel. “Time to get up baby. We’re home.” Jo slowly opened her eyes. “Granddad said we need to eat a little.”

 

She yawned. “I’m hungry. Uncle Jim?”

 

“Yes monkey.”

 

“Can you help me out?” She was still half asleep.

 

Jim smiled down at her. “No problem. Let me unbuckle you. Put your arms around my neck and I’ll carry you in.” He unbuckled her and carried her into the house. The ride tired her out. “After we eat we can go see the mukluks on the island.”

 

Her eyes popped open. She leaned back to look her uncle in the eyes. “Mukluks? You said they sound like little bells.”

 

“They do, and they smell almost like honeysuckle.”

 

“Wow! I like granddad’s place. Did he go to take care of Aunt Seri?”

 

Jim could see the concern on her face.  She was definitely an empath, but for now, she only seemed to be able to read a few people. She could read the people she loved, but other than that she had only been able to read those with really strong feelings. He needed to talk to Jaz and see how much that would change as she aged. “Yes baby. She’ll be alright. Daddy and granddad will take good care of her. Her mom upset her.”

 

“I don’t have to meet her mom, do I? Aunt Seri said I didn’t.”

 

“No, you don’t.” They arrived in the kitchen. There was a plate of the Betazoid version of chicken sandwiches in the refrigerator. Jim gave Jo one on a plate with what looked like a green salad. It wasn’t lettuce but it was close.

 

Jo sat giggling at Jim as he smelled all of the food before he ate it. The drink was a type of tea that neither of them could identify but both liked. When they finished Jim walked with her across the side lawn to the pond. There was a row boat on the lawn. He put Jo into it after he pushed it into the water. Jim jumped in and rowed to the small island.

 

Jo jumped onto the island with Jim close behind. “Jo, let’s go this way.” She took his hand as he ran with her toward the path leading to the middle of the island. The path led to an opening in the trees, and plants. Jo let go of his hand and ran to the center of the grotto. She held out both of her arms and started to spin as she looked to the skies. Jim laughed harder than he had in a very long time. Jo stopped and tried to walk, but fell over dizzy. Jim fell next to her. “You are silly.”

 

“This is a neat planet. Do you hear that?!”

 

Jim could her the tinkle of tiny bells. They were surrounded by the sound. “Those are the mukluks. They are all around the edge of the grass. Let me show you how to smell them.” He walked her over to the closest plant and held the flower for her. It shook and made a light noise as she came closer. The flower dripped a sweet nectar that smelled similar to the honeysuckle near the pond on the farm. He enjoyed watching her wonder at all of the new sights and smells. This was the adventure her parents had wanted for her.

 

“Uncle Jim, did you ever have one of these?” His aunt and uncle had one on Tarsus IV. They had lived on Betazed and took one with them. He would lie near it in the summer while he read to Kallie. As the breeze blew the plant would sing to them. “Uncle Jim, why are you sad? I’m sorry.”

 

“Oh munchkin, there is no reason to be sorry. I lived with my aunt and uncle when I was young and they had one. The died a long time ago.”

 

“And that is why you were sad?”

 

“Mostly, but I still love these flowers, and I still love you.” He jumped up and picked her up. Jo screamed as he swung her around. Her laughter and squeals carried back to the house. Jim put her down and followed her as she explored the island. He wanted to give Seri time to relax and center herself before they went back.

 

Seri woke with a mild headache. Len played with her hair to keep her calm. “Good morning Peaches.”

 

“What happened?” She slid off of him and laid on the pillow.

 

Len turned to face her. “What do you remember?”

 

“I remember starting to get angry with mother. I remember mother saying something about Jo. I don’t remember what she said. Then everything got unbearably hot. I don’t remember anything else except for your eyes. You kept talking to me. I don’t know what you said, there was a loud roar in my ears. Then it started to get cooler. I could hear you, only you. You told me that you would be back. I think I was in the library, but I’m not sure. Then you carried me upstairs and put me into our bed. You held me and I was safe. Then I woke up safe in your arms. I don’t feel hot anymore.”

 

“Your dad was hoping it wouldn’t happen. He said it didn’t happen to him until he knew it was possible. You’re the same as him baby. You can destroy someone. You can plant nightmares into their subconscious. They will come out in their dreams until, eventually they start to bleed into their conscious. In other words, they are slowly driven insane when they can’t get out of their own nightmares. He said very few Betazoids can do this.”

 

“He should have told me not you.” She was getting angry. Not telling her was almost the same as lying to her. He didn’t trust her. To him she was weak.

 

“Please don’t be angry with him. He tried to protect you until he had time to teach you about this and how to control it. He told me he didn’t know about it until he was older and that he wasn’t able to use it until he knew it existed. I think he truly hoped this would protect you. He also said that I would be the only one who could save you. We are bonded, he said that was the only thing that would help. Seri, I get the feeling that his first time didn’t end the way yours did. I also got the feeling that even if you knew, without training you wouldn’t be able you control it.”

 

“I still wish he had told me.” The anger had started to subside.

 

“I know, but I think he may have done the wrong thing for the right reasons. He adores you.”

 

Seri softened. “I know. I’m still upset, but give me a little time and I’ll get past it. He said he would train me?”

 

“Yes. Seri, it took her going after Jo and me to turn you. I may have overstepped, but I told her it would be best if she never saw you again. I won’t let her hurt you anymore.”

 

“You did, and I love you for it. This is one of those times that I need you to take care of me.” He had been playing with her hair. “I guess she needed to be removed from my life.”

 

“For her sake as well as yours. You didn’t hurt her.”

 

“That was because of you.”

 

“I did it for you. I don’t care about her. She hurt the woman I love.”

 

“Many, many times. Dad and Jim are home.”

 

“Do you want me to get your dad?”

 

Seri thought about it. As angry as she had been, she couldn’t stay angry with him. They would need to talk. He needed to tell her about what she was. She had heard about this in medical school, but it was a lot different when it happened to her. Her dad would help her make sense of it. “I think he and I need to talk. I’ll come down with you.”

 

“Do you want me there.”

 

“It is like when you told your mom about how your dad died. I want you there, but I need to do this on my own. Besides, you need to get things ready to bring the puppy home.”

 

“Jo is so excited. I think your dad is nervous about the trip.”

 

“He is, but it will be good for him. Besides it will give him time to teach me what I need to know about our, let’s just say ability.”

 

“It will give you time to forgive him.”

 

“It will. You know I do understand why he did it. I still wish he had told me.”

 

“Even if it wouldn’t have changed the outcome.”

 

“Yes. But I know he hoped it wouldn’t happen. I guess she really pushed me.”

 

“Your family is the thing you treasure the most and she went after two of the people you would die for. I am glad Jo wasn’t here.”

 

“Now you understand why I didn’t want her near my baby.”

 

“If it’s any consolation, I think she’s afraid of me.”

 

“Maybe a little. Should she be?”

 

“If she tries to hurt you or any of the family, yes.” Seri snuggled closer, she needed his strength.

 

“We should go down. It’ll be late soon enough, and the puppy will be home. He’ll need two dog beds.” Len looked confused. “One for each house. We can get them before we leave.” After what had happened, she needed things to get back to normal as quickly as possible. Len knew what she was doing, and would let her hide for now. There would be time enough to address what had unfolded between mother and daughter.

 

They walked down the front stairs hand in hand. Jaz was waiting for them in the entryway. Len could hear a vehicle pull up as Seri took her father’s hand and walked to the library. Jazined looked nervous. His daughter was all he had left. What he did was a risk, but he did what he thought best for her sanity.

 

Len knew it would be alright. The entire time he had talked to Seri he kept his emotions peaceful and full of love. He wanted her to come back knowing that all those around her loved her unconditionally. He thanked God he didn’t lose her. As a doctor and a scientist, he shouldn’t believe in God, but he did. He went to him for peace, and thanked her when things worked out. Seri didn’t destroy herself and her father was right, they were a stronger unit because of it. Her Imzadi knew at that moment there was nothing they couldn’t overcome as long as they were together. He had no way of knowing how true that would be.

 

The front door opened and in walked a very tired grey furball. “Hey buddy. I’ve got you.” Len picked him up and cuddled the puppy to his chest. A large male walked in. “Thank you, I’m Len McCoy.” They shook hands.

 

“Hello, mom and dad told me about you, I’m Oranikin. He’ll sleep well. We have a fenced in yard and he spent the entire day running around. My wife and I are taking the brindle female.”

 

“I hear most of them are high energy.  I like your parents. Your mom reminds me of mine.”

 

“I’m sorry about that.” He was smiling. “In case Jaz didn’t tell you, I am an associate in his firm. I hope to make partner next year. Nina and I will most likely be moving after that. He wants to set up satellite offices on some of the Federation planets.”

 

“I’m a doctor who lost his mind and joined Starfleet. I finish the Academy in three years. What does your wife do?”

 

They walked to the table in the garden. “She’s also from Earth. She’s a linguist. I met her when she started working at the consulate. Mom says you are engaged to our Seriana. Sorry, she and I grew up together. Though her mother tried to stop us from playing together. But, you know she’s a bigot.”

 

“I am painfully aware; though I think she is afraid of me.”

 

“I know she’s afraid of me.” He was laughing at the thought. “I told Nina I would pick up our puppy today. She is weaned and we have everything set up.”

 

“I don’t think it’s a problem. Jaz is in with Seri. Just give me a second to make sure.” Len knocked on the door to the library. “I’m sorry to bother you, but Oranikin wanted to know if he could take the puppy tonight. He has everything ready.”

 

Jaz smiled. “Tell him the baby is ready to go to her new home, and I’ll see him at work in a couple of weeks.”

 

Len left the father and daughter. Jaz looked more relaxed than he had when they walked to the room. Oranikin was still at the table. “He said she’s ready to go. Also, he will see you in the office in two weeks.”

 

“I guess that’s his way of saying he’s taking that vacation. I have been on him to take one for years.”

 

“He’s coming to my home. I own a farm on Earth.”

 

“Lucky, that’s Nina’s dream. She wants to own a farm with goats and sheep.”

 

“We really don’t raise them, we have cows, Pecans, and Peaches. I am also thinking about buying a horse farm.”

 

“Don’t tell Nina. She’ll be inviting herself, and the rest of us, to your place for a visit.”

 

“Seri would love it. She seems to think it is one of the best places in the universe.”

 

“Thank you, we may take you up on your offer. I have to get going, my turn to get the kids to take their baths.”

 

“Good luck with that. Hopefully we’ll see you before we return.”

 

“I hope so.” With that, they went to the puppy room, picked up his new baby, and went to the front door. Len closed the door behind him. Seri had some good friends. He would make sure they never lost touch.

 

The garden smelled like honeysuckle. There were all sorts of flowers planted along the border. Len sat, closed his eyes, and enjoyed the peace. The afternoon was difficult, but in the end, satisfying. The problem with her mother was over, and things were finally starting to fall into place. He fell asleep to the sounds of the fountain and small birds.


	57. chapter 57

 Cal draped herself across Jim. He had fallen asleep after their last secession of lovemaking. She played with the ring. Pink was her favorite color; she had mentioned it only once years before. He remembered; truth was he remembered everything she ever told him about herself. Why would he do that? There was nothing interesting about her. He shifted in his sleep. Dinner was in an hour. They needed to get ready.

 

He looked so peaceful, no worry lines, no restless movements. She wanted him to sleep, but knew he wanted to tell the family they were getting married. Jim Kirk asked her to marry him. She was going to spend the rest of her life with the only man she had ever been in love with. Len was so angry when he found out about them. Funny, now he would be the happiest for them.  She rubbed his chest. “Jim, we need to get cleaned up. We shouldn’t go to dinner smelling like sex.”

 

“True.” He looked at his future wife. She was sitting up, the anchor necklace glistened as it hung from her neck. “Come here.” Cal leaned over him as he pulled her into a deep kiss.”

 

“We should get up before this turns into…”

 

“I know. Let’s get going.” He sounded disappointed. As Cal turned on the shower he looked at his PADD. The light had been blinking when they entered the room. Fuck, Starfleet wanted him to give an interview to the press about the refit and the crew. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He wanted to lose himself at the farm, but Captain Kirk had to do as he was ordered.

 

They finished a very quick shower. Jim was quiet. “Alright blue eyes, out with it.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’ve been quiet since you got into the shower. What happened between your last blowjob and the shower?”

 

“Starfleet happened. They ordered me to meet with members of the press. The vultures will be at the Atlanta offices.” He picked up the PADD and handed it to her. “I don’t get a break. I don’t get to heal. Captain Kirk has to play the game for them.” He was escalating.

 

“Alright, then we go together. And, if you want, they can be done as a more one on one type interview.”

 

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

 

“You stay in a room; each reporter comes to you individually. They are given say five minutes to ask their questions. That way it might not seem as overwhelming.”

 

“That might be better. I don’t want to look at all those rows of chairs. I know that says they want Bones as well, but I am going to tell them no. I don’t think he is well enough for that.”

 

“No, he isn’t. I don’t think you are either. But, I think you are better able to deal with it then he is.” Jim looked concerned. “Jim, I’ll be with you every minute.”

 

“I don’t think that’s the best idea.”

 

“Why? I can be professional.”

 

“Honey, it isn’t you I’m worried about. It’s them. If you’re there, they’ll find out who you are.”

 

“They are going to find out about me no matter what.” They started to dress. “I’ll be there with others from Starfleet. If they ask who I am simply give my name and rank. Jim, this can be done quickly. After that you can relax.”

 

“Sure.” They were dressed and ready to go downstairs.

 

“Tonight, is for family. We can deal with the orders later.”

 

“You mean I can deal with it.” He turned toward the hall door.

 

 Cal blocked his way to the door. “No, we deal with it. I know you need to be Captain Kirk, and I won’t interfere with your job, but you don’t have to do this alone. Jim, we’re a team now. We always were I guess, but now it’s official.”

 

Jim hadn’t realized that was part of being engaged. He had a partner now. Len and Seri had been partners for years; Jim had taken it for granted. Now he had that. “I get it, partners. Cal, this is new to me.” He held her shoulders. “I know I have people that are there for me, but I never had a partner on this level. Give me time.”

 

“You have me, you always have. Trust me to be there for you.”

 

“I do. I trust you. Now we should go down. Are you excited?”

 

“I am.” She was beaming. “I am going to be Mrs. James T Kirk.”

 

“Dr. Kirk.”

 

“Only at work. That’s something I have in common with Mama and Seri. I don’t want to be doctor unless I’m working; the same way you don’t want to be Captain unless it’s for work.”

 

“That I understand.” Len and Jo were in the hallway when Jim and Cal came out of their room.

 

“Jojo, can we talk to you?” Cal knew that she would be in the kitchen with the kids when they made the announcement. “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.” Len looked at them. “Go on Lenny. We’ll meet you downstairs.”

 

Jim smiled at his niece. Soon she would be his niece in more than word only. “Let’s go back into the room?” He led the ladies back into his room. “Monkey, have a seat.”

 

Jo would have been nervous, but her aunt and uncle both felt happy. “We need to tell you something Jojo, and you will be the first to know this so you need to promise not to say anything.”

 

“Alright Aunt Cal. I won’t tell anyone.” She knew they would never make her promise to keep anything bad a secret.

 

They stood in front of her. Cal put her hands behind her. Jo was as observant as her father, and she didn’t want her to see the ring. Jim put his arm around her. “Monkey, I asked your aunt to marry me.”

 

Jo jumped up squealing. “You said yes didn’t you Aunt Callie?!”

 

Cal showed her the ring. “Of course, I did.”

 

Jo hugged Cal then threw her arms around her uncle’s neck. “Now you will officially and legally be my uncle.”

 

He held his niece. Jo was his from that first summer, he was her uncle from almost the first day. Then there was Kahn. They let go of each other. “I will. Jo, remember you can’t tell anyone. We will tell the adults at dinner.”

 

“Yeah, I knew you would be stuck in the kitchen with the kids, and we wanted you to know. Please don’t let it slip.”

 

“Don’t worry, no one will know. Uncle Jim you should get the Chateau Mouton for the toast. It needs to breathe at least a half an hour.”

 

“You sound like your dad. He is still trying to teach me about all of that.”

 

“I’ll take care of it. I’ll pull them up if you open them. I don’t like dad’s cork screw.”

 

“Alright Monkey. We should go down.” They walked down the back stairs. Cal and Jim went into the dining room where some of the people were starting to arrive.

 

Len was making sure George sat at one end of the table and Jazined at the other. He wanted the two men to head the table. He and Jim would sit across from each other at the middle. That put them at the head of a European table. Len liked the symmetry. Jim and Cal were standing behind their seats when Jo entered with four bottles of her father’s best wine. Jim pulled the corks and Jo decanted the wine and put the decanters on the middle of the table. She amazed him; in so many ways she was her father. She kissed him on the cheek and whispered. “Good luck. Congratulations, just make my aunt happy. I love her as much as I love you. I can tell, you both deserve one another.”

 

With that she went into the kitchen to corral the kids. She knew how her uncle felt about himself. He knew they needed to have a very long uncle to niece talk, but tonight was not that time. Tonight, was for family. Jim sat next to Cal in the chair Len had motioned for him to take.

 

Dinner was loud and Mama loved it all. She sat next to George and looked over the table. Sarah was keeping a close eye on the kids that were serving. They seemed terrified to make a mistake. Lena chuckled. Jake was talking to Evan and Derek about the new milking station that was coming after the new year. Joce was engrossed in a conversation with Seri about the time table for the wedding. Len was teasing Rory about the boys. Ben and June were talking about him joining Sulu on the Enterprise. Spock was interested in Jayla’s progress at the Academy. Scotty was getting Sulu’s opinion on the refit. Nyota and Cal were conspiring to get Seri gown shopping. Louis was talking to Jim about the foals due in the spring. Finally, there was Jaz and Kat.

 

They had been friends for years. Both had met shortly after Nero and maintained their friendship all these years. They talked at least once a week and he saw her every time he was on Earth, which was more and more the last few years. When Jaz got the call about Pavel he rushed to her then took her to the farm where she could be with family. He hadn’t said anything, but the kid’s death hit him hard. Lena knew he had been blocking that from Seri. No one wants to have their child counsel them. That was alright, she would corner him later.

 

Dinner was delicious, roast, ham, and chicken. Sarah had made her famous salad and there were also sides of garlic roasted potatoes, yams, and corn. There was a special vegetarian dish for Spock. Tachin had given Sarah the recipe before she and Kenakin went to visit Oranikin and Nina. They had moved to the moon colony and Tachin was adamant about helping them unpack. Their two younger children would also be there. Lena had told them to not rush back after the funeral that morning.

 

The kids were laughing and squealing in the kitchen. The teenagers had the little ones under control, and hopefully soon they would be ready for bed. But now they sounded like monkeys on speed. Jo could be heard telling Demora to sit down until dinner is over. Lena saw the future of the family in those rooms. Len had done well.

 

Jim stood up and cleared his throat until he got everyone’s attention. “Hi everyone.” Cal was looking up at him with a look of complete adoration. “I, well we…” He looked down at Cal, then back at their family. “wanted to tell you all something. Today, I asked this amazing and beautiful woman to marry me. And for some reason, surpassing all understanding, she said yes. A toast to my fiancé.” He raised his glass to her and all the others followed.

 

Len stood with his glass in hand. “Jim, I hope you know what you are getting yourself into. Cal this makes me question your judgement on many levels.” Everyone was laughing. “In all seriousness: to my sister and future brother-in-law; may you never know a day without laughter, and may you always remember that there is nothing more important in life than your partner. Love each other.” They all took a drink. The rest of the evening consisted of toasts and hugs. All of the women wanted to see Cal’s ring and the men were telling Jim how lucky he was.

 

At the end of the evening Cal got the family’s attention. “I just wanted to say that I am marrying the most amazing man in the universe. And, I wanted to thank him for taking me on. I can’t guarantee much, but I will guarantee that for the rest of my life I will try to make him as happy as he has always made me.”

 

It was getting late; the dinner guests started to leave. Cal, Lena, and Joce took Seri into the music room. “Alright Sis, tomorrow we have an appointment with Rose to look at gowns.” Nyota joined them.

 

“Cal, maybe we should wait at least another day. We just buried him today.”

 

“Yes, we did, but the wedding is on the twenty-fifth and it is already the eighteenth.”

 

Joce chimed in. “Rose is ready. She is closing the shop for us.”

 

Nyota stepped up. “We need to get this done. You said you wanted to honor the Earth traditions. It takes longer to get a gown together than it does to get a hair ribbon.”

 

“I see your point.”

 

Lena stepped up. “Caroline, don’t forget to get the boxes from the safe. We need them for tomorrow. Seriana, I don’t believe you have a choice.”

 

“Yes Mama. What time is the appointment? Rose hasn’t said anything.” 

 

Cal came to her rescue. “She hasn’t had time yet. I set it up at the luncheon We are supposed to get there at 12:15.”

 

Lena pulled Cal aside. “Don’t forget to take the one she picks to Hancock’s for a cleaning.”

 

“I already talked to Geoff. He is so happy Len is finally walking down the aisle he doesn’t care what it takes, it’ll be ready.” They walked Nyota and Joce to the door. Spock and Evan were waiting for them. Seri noticed Len having a serious conversation with Evan. He was asking Evan to be in the bridal party. She would need to get another brides maid. That wouldn’t be a problem; hopefully Ann would say yes. She and Rob couldn’t make it to the dinner. Seri would have to ask her tomorrow.

 

Len needed to spend some time with Evan. They had become brothers over the years. Joce and Len had managed a successful divorce. Jazined found it enviable. But, neither of them was a bad person; it was circumstances that destroyed them. He hadn’t been that lucky.

 

Kat had gone up and he followed her up. She had said she didn’t want to be alone, and he didn’t want her to be. In many ways she had become his best friend. There was George and Lena, but there was something special about Kat. Lena smiled every time they were together and he told her to stop it, but he understood why she did. Pavel had loved the fact that his mother was happy when Jaz was around. She had been widowed when the kid was only five, and hadn’t had any close male friends since then. It was as if she was scared to get that close to anyone again.

 

George had introduced them. She liked George, he was safe. He was with Lena. Jaz was different, he wasn’t safe in her mind. But, he never pushed her. He wasn’t looking for a lover, just a friend. His divorce wasn’t even a year old when they met and it had been brutal; to say he was gun shy was an understatement. That was years ago, now her only child was dead and he hurt for her as if it was his own son who died.

 

Seri gave everyone a kiss and went to her bedroom. She felt her dad, but she knew he didn’t want her to address his feelings. She knew he and Kat were in love even if they didn’t want to admit it. Pavel had joked that one day they would be brother and sister if their parents would stop acting like a couple of teenagers. Now he was gone. She wanted him back, and to have him laugh at the announcement Jim made. All this time she held her feelings in check, Len and Jim needed her to take care of them. Part of Seri didn’t want to admit how much she hurt, but she could see the grave as she looked across the grounds from their veranda.

 

The tears started almost unnoticed. She didn’t want Len to see her cry. He needed her to be strong. Jim saw her meltdown, but he didn’t need that now. He and Cal looked so happy. He was happy for the first time in years. As happy as she was for them, and she truly was, Pavel’s loss was hitting her harder than it had the past week. He wouldn’t be there. He wouldn’t dance with her at the reception. He wouldn’t toast her and Len. He wouldn’t hold their babies on the front porch. He wouldn’t teach them to play chess. He wouldn’t be there for any of it. She just wanted him back.

 

Slowly she was turned into his chest. “I’m so sorry Imzadi. I’ll be alright.” But her sobbing wasn’t subsiding.

 

“Don’t be sorry baby. I know you miss him. Pavel was going to be your brother. Don’t think I don’t know what this is doing to you. I’ve got you sweetheart.” She cried like she had when Jim held her on the Enterprise. Len held her as he kissed the top of her head. She needed to let the grief out. He had been waiting for this. There had been some tears, but none as pure as this. The grief needed to hit to be delt with, and Len wanted to be the one she cried to.

 

The crying stopped after ten minutes. Seri wasn’t a big crier. The last time she could remember crying due to grief was when Jim died. Len took her inside. She loved to look into the fire. “Len, intellectually I understand how I am feeling.”

 

He guided her to lay down with her head on his lap. He played with her hair as they watched the flames dance. “It doesn’t matter does it. You can’t reason yourself out of the pain.”

 

“No, I can’t.”

 

“We just need to move forward. It will take awhile, but we can do this. I had an amazing counselor help me understand that. You might know her.”

 

“I know her quite well. In case I haven’t told you, I love you very much.”

 

“I love you too.” He needed to get her out of her head. “I’m going hiking tomorrow with Evan. He thinks it would be good for us to get away from any responsibility.”

 

“You mean he thinks it would be good for you to get away.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“The ladies are kidnapping me. WE are going to Rose’s for the gown. Evidently it takes time to get it ready.”

 

Len smiled down at her. It was rare that she seemed naïve. “It can. You will enjoy it, trust me.”

 

“I do like shopping. I think Jim is spending the day with Jake. And, from what I can hear, George is taking Spock to Hancock’s.”

 

“You’re kidding?!” Len shifted her so Seri was looking straight up at him.

 

“Nope. I heard them before I blocked everyone. He wants to make Nyota happy. Tonight, sealed it for him.”

 

“Wow, I thought he would never settle down. We’ve had more than a few conversations about it, but he logics himself out of it every time.”

 

“But now he is putting her first.”

 

“Good for him. I have to talk to Mama before you all leave tomorrow. When is your appointment?”

 

“You knew we had to have an appointment?” He raised an eyebrow. “Fine, it is at 12:15.”

 

“Good, I think I’m going earlier with Evan. I know they are all going to be excited tomorrow. I’m glad we’re leaving earlier.”

 

“Thanks. Jo has been having some pretty intense emotions.”

 

“I know. We talked as you know, but she knows there is something in Jim’s past.”

 

“Shit. He’ll handle it when the time comes.”

 

“I just hope he does before we all leave for the Enterprise.”

 

“She’ll corner him. You know he can’t say no to her. He is a softie. Don’t tell him I said that.”

 

“I won’t, but he is. He and Cal need to decide if they are getting married before we leave.”

 

“I know. I’ll talk to her after our wedding. Len, did you want to go away after? We never talked about it.”

 

“Not really, but if you do I’m sure we could come up with a place.”

 

“I want to stay here. We go everywhere, I want to stay home.”

 

He kissed her slowly. “Thank you. I want to stay home.”

 

They took a shower then climbed into bed. Seri draped her arm over him, and Len put his around her. It didn’t take long for them to fall asleep. It would take a long time to heal, but they would continue to move forward together.

 

Jim and Cal slept entwined. The next week would be a whirl of activity. Cal doubted Seri had any idea about what went into an Earth wedding.  Mama and Sarah had started decorating the barn. They were going with a winter theme. It would smell like Christmas and look like a winter fairytale. Sarah loved to decorate and this gave her an excuse.

 

Morning arrived to the sound of Roscoe and Athos. Seri got things ready for the day then went into the bathroom. Len slept through it and Seri’s shower. She was happy her period had finally ended. No more inconvenience until the next month. By the time she was back in the bedroom he was awake. “Good morning sunshine.”

 

“Morning Peaches. It’s too early for you to be this happy.” He pulled the covers over his head.

 

“Len, it’s 10:00.”

 

He bolted up. “Shit! Evan will be here soon, and I need to get something to Mama. Damn it! Why didn’t the roosters crow? Did they die overnight?”

 

“They did crow. I woke up, answered my PADD, laid my clothes out for the day, had a cup of tea, and took a shower.”

 

“You’re kidding.”

 

“Only about the tea. Your clothes are laid out next to mine on the couch. You only need to take a shower and get dressed.”

 

“I should answer my PADD.”

 

“Not today. You can do that tomorrow. Today you need to decompress.”

 

Len jumped out of bed and into the shower. Seri met the women in the kitchen. Everyone was there except for Nyota. Seri was betting that they had a busy night. Sarek had left after the luncheon and wouldn’t be back for three days. They could make all the noise they wanted and there was no one to hear.

 

Cal seemed rested. “Morning Sis, I would have thought Jim would have kept you up late.”

 

“Naw.” She whispered in Seri’s ear “That was earlier in the day.”

 

Sarah had brunch on the table. The leftovers from dinner were carved and set out cold for sandwiches. She was talking to one of the ladies about decorating all of the bedrooms while the family was out.  “Seri, do you think Jim will have time to talk to Jules. The kids at school have been a problem this past year. I know he told me he would go to her school, but…”

 

“He won’t have any problem. I know he has it planned, but I don’t know what he has said to her. When do they go back to class?”

 

“January second, Jules was saying she didn’t want to go back.”

 

“I’m sure he will have no problem talking to her class. He doesn’t like to see his niece upset. Are they really that bad?”

 

“Yes, they say she’s a liar. She couldn’t know him because she is a nobody and stupid. I think they are jealous.”

 

“Most likely. See if he’ll take her in their first day back. It will get around very quickly if he walks her to the front door and gives her a kiss.”

 

Sarah giggled at the thought. “That would work. The school found out because we had her birthday party at the house.”

 

“And there are pictures.”

 

“There are. The kids saw the one of all of us and she called the guys Uncle Jim and Uncle Len. The kids she wasn’t close to said she made the picture up and she didn’t know Lenny or Jimmy.”

 

“Len should pick her up.”

 

“You have a bit of a mean streak. Just one of the reasons I love you.”

 

“Mama, Len said he needed to see you before we left.”

 

Lena went up to her son’s room. When she opened the door, he was putting the jewelry box back in the safe. “What did you need pumpkin?”

 

Len handed a sapphire and diamond brooch to his mother. “I didn’t want to forget to give you the Albert brooch for the fitting. I’m not taking any chances.”

 

Lena knew her son could be superstitious. And to be honest when it came to this she was as well. “I’ll make sure Rose incorporates it. Does Seri like sapphires?”

 

“She loves them. But if she doesn’t want to ware it, don’t force her.”

 

“I won’t. It is her day.” He was looking at the floor. Lena bent down and used her eyes to get him to look up. “It is yours as well. Len, you two will have the marriage neither of us had the first time around, with or without the brooch.” She kissed him on the cheek. He had a partner, a partner who would always put him first.

 

By the time Lena got back to the kitchen Nyota had arrived and everyone was fed. Evan had met them in the entryway. He and Len would spend the day hiking the woods between the two farms. Len had bout the neighboring farm while they were home after Kahn. It had been allowed to founder and needed a lot of work. Jake and Jim helped Len get it at a bargain price. The first year all they grew was soy to get the soil back into shape. After, Jake decided not to use it for crops, but for sheep. The wool would bring in money, and they were more of a livestock concern then farmers.

 

Evan had overseen the building of the stables and the integration of the irrigation system. He expanded the system to accommodate the water needed for the horses, cows, and the sheep. He didn’t know it, but Len had been putting money into an account for their children. He had tried to pay Evan years ago and it didn’t go over well. Evan had refused saying that their home was payment enough. Evan was well off, but Len felt he should be compensated for all of his hard work. If he wouldn’t take it for himself, then Len would give it to the kids in trusts.

 

The ladies piled into two crafts and drove to town, all they could talk about was what type of gown Seri was going to pick. Mama enjoyed hearing them laughing. Kat was still in bed when they left, and Jaz was also missing. She knew he wouldn’t do anything that night, but maybe they would start to move forward with their relationship. They pulled into the parking lot attached to George and Jaz’s practice.

 

The incredibly loud group made their way up the street to Rose’s bridal shop. Several people stopped them to say hello. The shop was in a white Victorian building with a large bowed picture window. It was deceptively small. There were gowns all over, but Rose was able to get any style of dress from all over the world. She used the transporter Len had installed in the back to keep her inventory and overhead low. She could show brides pictures of dresses and have those dresses sent in a matter of minutes. She had several sent the night before for Seri.

 

Rose had closed the store for the afternoon. She didn’t want any interruptions during Seri’s appointment. Rose liked Seri from the moment they met. Joce had introduced them the second time Seri visited the farm. Ever since then Rose had been planning the wedding dress. There were dresses for different types of weddings, and for different types of bride in the store, but the two special ones hung in the back. They had been kept in a locked climate-controlled closet until Seri commed to tell her the date was set.

 

No one had ever seen the two gowns Rose had designed with Seri in mind. Very few people knew Rose designed some of the dresses that she sold. As talented as she was, she was also equal parts humble and nervous. She feared others would make fun of a piece into which she had put her heart. Seri was different, she would never make fun of them.

 

It wasn’t long after lunch when the group of ladies walked into the shop. “Rose!” Seri threw her arms around the tiny seamstress. “I’ve missed you at the luncheon.  Do you remember Nyota? She was at the last bonfire.”

 

“Yes, it is good to see you. How is Spock? I remember he was confused at the bonfire.”

 

Nyota smiled. “He is doing well. He was confused. None of it was logical, it threw him.”

 

“Especially Len and Seri dancing.”

 

“Dancing baked you mean. Yes, that was a funny look he had then.” She was laughing at the memory. “Pavel enjoyed that night. Everyone let their guard down, especially the McCarthy twins with him.”

 

“He did. I’m sorry. It was a lovely service. How are Jim and Len?”

 

“They are better than they were. Thank you for asking. Everyone we ran into today tiptoed around the subject.”

 

“I was never good at doing that. Something I picked up from Cal when we were kids. So, everyone take a seat. Not you Seri, you are with me. There is wine on the table. Enjoy the fashion show.” Rose led the bride to a large dressing room at the back of the store. There were two racks. The first held five gowns of various materials and styles second held only two gowns. Both were off white; one was velvet and the other a heavy Silk Dupioni.

 

Seri was drawn to the two gowns. She ran her fingers over the velvet. It was thick and soft at the same time. The Dupioni had the hues of a very pale pink and a light cream woven together to produce the customary iridescence of the fabric. “What about these two?”

 

Rose had been watching her. Those were Rose’s designs, one for the ceremony and pictures, the other for the reception. “Those are different, maybe a little less traditional. Though the velvet one is inspired by an old 1939, design.”

 

“You designed these, didn’t you?” Seri turned to Rose.

 

“I hate that you can read my mind.” She turned a bright pink.

 

“I’m not. They have your touch, your attention to detail. Would it be okay if we just tried these two?”

 

“You can, but I want you to feel free to tell me if you don’t like it. I won’t be offended.”

 

“I know, but these are more me than the others.”

 

“How do you know, you haven’t looked at the others.”

 

“Yes, I have. You sent the pictures to the Enterprise. These were not included in them. None of them were made of these fabrics.”

 

“Anyone ever tell you that you are irritatingly observant.”

 

“Jim, all the time.” Seri started to strip.

 

“Take off everything except your underpants. The underpinnings are part of the gowns.” Rose pulled down the velvet one first. “This one is for the ceremony and pictures. The train doesn’t detach, though it can be bustled under the bustle that is already there. My concern was that bustling the train would make the back of the gown too heavy. There is a loop sewn underneath the train to allow it to be carried.”

 

Seri stepped into the gown as Rose pulled it up. Her arms were put through the armholes as Rose fastened the bra and hooked the hidden hooks and eyes in the back. Finally, black eyes stared into the mirror. “Rose, I’m a bride.” Seri couldn’t believe how she looked. Her voice was whispered astonishment.

 

“Yes, you are, a beautiful bride.” There was a knock at the door to the fitting room. Rose cracked the door and slipped out of the dressing room, making sure no one could see Seri. “Yes Mama?”

 

“I forgot to give you this.” She handed Rose the sapphire and diamond brooch. “We all wear this on our wedding day. Len asked she wear it. It is a superstition, it states that every bride that wares it will have a happy marriage. Great-grandma got it from an English auction years ago. It was worn at one of the monarchs’ weddings. Please don’t ask which, Lenny is the family historian. I didn’t ware it when I married Dr. McCoy, but you know I wore it when I married George. It seems the superstition holds true.”

 

“Got it. This will be lovely. I’ll tell her.” When she rejoined Seri, Rose noticed her eyes had not left the reflection of herself. “Let me pin this on you. Lenny sent it, something about it being a family tradition.” The gown was a light cream. It had a sweetheart neckline with clear and iridescent crystals encrusting the tops of both breasts and coming down the middle of the neckline into a triangle that tapered down the middle of the bodice until only individual crystals trailed down her waist to her hips. There were large cream ostrich plumes covering both shoulders, the bustle was gathered twice from underneath in a traditional Edwardian style. The bodice was boned to ensure it hugged her figure. It showed off her chest and tiny waist without over-emphasizing either. There were small crystals lightly scattered over the entire gown. The six-foot train held no embellishments other than the crystals and a few pearls. There were no seams in the train. Rose approached with a small pair of scissors and the brooch.

 

“What are you doing with those?!” Seri sounded terrified.

 

Rose was smirking. “Just trust me.” She snipped a few of the crystals from the cleavage leaving a vertical empty spot in the middle of the neckline. “Each crystal is sewn separately so they won’t fall off. If you don’t like this it is easy to put them back. Lenny sent this. He said it is good luck to ware it down the aisle. Mama said she wore it when she married Mr. Armistead, but not Dr. McCoy. There might be something to the superstition.” With that she fastened the oval diamond and sapphire brooch vertically to cover the empty spot on the gown, then took a step back.

 

“Rose?” Her voice was a whisper.

 

“Yes Seri?”

 

“What do you think?” Rose could see the tears in her friend’s eyes, and heard the quiver in her voice.

 

“What do you think?”

 

“This is the dress. You are a genius.”

 

“It is taken from an old movie, but I did change some things. The bodice is boned differently, and the bustle is configured completely different. Also, the train has no seams and is cut on a bias to help with the movement. I thought you might like this design.”

 

“It doesn’t have sleeves though. It is winter.”

 

“It comes with a velvet wrap and a hooded velvet cape. The cape will be good for the ride to the church. I’ll be there to take it from you before you go in. The wrap is more for the house and the photos. I thought gloves would be a problem with the rings, but I can get those as well.”

 

“No, the cape and wrap will be perfect.” Her eyes still hadn’t left the reflection.

 

“Here are some shoes. Oh, let me grab a veil. Do you want a long, or a short one?”

 

“You pick, I trust you.”

 

Rose ran to the back. She hadn’t stopped smiling. All these years she spent designing these dresses, she had been scared Seri wouldn’t like them. Seri had been there for her so many times. This was something she could do for her friend. It wasn’t long before she was back with two veils. The one that only reached the floor was put on. Nope, Rose removed it quickly then pinned on the eight-foot veil. It also had crystals applied sporadically throughout. “Are you wearing the McCoy tiara? And will you need a blusher?”

 

“The what? They have one? What is a blusher?”

 

“The blusher is a thin piece of tool the falls over your face as you walk down the aisle. Your dad raises it and gives you a kiss signaling you are leaving him. It’s more traditional than anything else. Actually, they have two tiaras. The McCoy and the Fife. I’ve seen the pictures. IF you don’t like them we could come up with a headpiece.”

 

“I want the blusher. I’ll let dad know about the tradition. I don’t know if the tiaras will work.” For what was maybe the first time in over a decade, Seri had no idea what to do or say. “Can you help me after we show everyone? We should see what they think.”

 

“Seri, the other gown is more for the reception. This one would get far too heavy as the night goes on.”

 

“Okay.” She was uncharacteristically quiet. Seri had no idea what to say. She never thought she could look this beautiful.

 

“You have to step away from the mirror if you want to show everyone the gown.”

 

“Oh, yeah, okay.” Rose helped her down from the pedestal.

 

“Okay everyone! Here comes the bride!”

 

Seri walked out and Rose helped her onto the pedestal. Rose fluffed the train behind her and stood back. All of the ladies stared, most of them with their mouths slightly opened. “Oh my God Sis, you’re stunning!” Cal couldn’t believe how picture perfect her future sister-in-law looked.

 

Mama stood up. “Seriana, you are perfection. Be happy baby.” She gave her a kiss on the cheek.

 

Nyota walked around her with Sarah, Jo, and Joce. All three women were smiling. “Seri, this is your wedding dress. You know, that right? By the way, Rose when my time comes you are designing mine.”

 

Rose was smiling so hard her cheeks hurt. “Anything for you Nyota.”

 

“Mama?”

 

“Yes Seri.”

 

“Rose said something about family tiaras. I didn’t know if one would work, or should I get a headpiece?”

 

“Oh Shit!” Cal ran over to the couch.

 

“Cal honestly. I thought Starfleet would have helped you with your skatterbrainedness.”

 

“Mama, I keep telling you, that isn’t a word.”

 

“Maybe not, but it works for moments like this. Where are they?”

 

“I have the boxes in my bag. That is why I carried the duffel bag, as you so nicely called it, with me today.” Mother and daughter were having fun with each other. Cal reached in and pulled out two hard boxes. She opened the clasp on both, each contained a diamond tiara. The designs were completely different from each other.

 

The first one was more of a diadem. It would fit perfectly around a larger bun, or could be opened for a more traditional look. It also did something interesting. “Seri, this one comes apart, let me show you.”  Mama pulled it apart into three sections. “If you want it can be placed as combs or pins in your hair.” She demonstrated how it could be fit into her hair if she wore it up and down.

 

The second one was more traditional. It fastened to the top of the head but was not a complete circle. It was a fringe tiara. There were articulating pear shaped diamonds that hung in each of the diamond arches. The spikes on the top of the arches held alternating pear shaped and round diamonds, starting with a pear shaped on in the middle. “Mama, do you think this one would look good with the gown?”

 

“With your hair it will be perfect.”

 

“I like the way the diamonds move. The metal is a little dark.”

 

“It is sterling. The dark is just tarnish. Don’t worry, Geoff will heave it shining by the wedding.”

 

Joce started to loosely pin Seri’s hair up, and placed the tiara in it. She then pinned the veil onto the back. “Here Sis, perfect.” She guided Seri to turn and face her reflection in the mirror. “You’re a princess. This is your day.” Joce stood back.

 

“Jo, what do you think?” Seri needed to hear her opinion.

 

“Aunt Seri, it’s you. This is your gown. Wait till Dad sees you.” She stood behind her aunt. “Aunt Rose, the dress fits perfectly!”

 

“I made it for your aunt. It was why I kept asking for your measurements. We should try on the other one. Let’s take off the brooch. I don’t want to be responsible for that.” She handed it to Mama and led Seri back to try on the reception gown.

 

“Should I take off the tiara?”

 

“No, this way we can see the whole package.”

 

“Rose, thank you. I didn’t know it would make me feel like this.”

 

“You make so many people happy. We just want you to be happy. I can’t wait until Lenny sees you in this for the first time. I’m going to take bets that he’ll cry.”

 

“I don’t know about that.”

 

“I do. Now, lets get you into the reception gown.” Rose undid the gown and helped Seri off with it. It was hung up and put back into the closet. Next, she brought down the Dupioni gown, Seri stepped into it, the internal bra was fastened, the petticoats were hooked in to hold out the skirt, and the buttons were fastened.

 

“Len is going to hate all the buttons.” Seri was giggling.

 

“He’s a surgeon, I have faith in his ability to unbutton the gown without ruining it.” The full skirt was fluffed out and Rose took a step back.

 

Seri’s smile told her all she needed to know. This gown had fitted bodice with a v neckline, three-quarter sleeves, and a box pleated skirt. It was a fairytale dress. There were no embellishments. The skirt itself was six yards of silk. The three petticoats each consisted of ten yards of silk organza. This gave an almost antebellum width to the skirt. It emphasized Seri’s small waist, but didn’t over whelm the rest of her.

 

Seri turned around quickly and watched as the skirt whooshed around her. “This is wonderful. I learned the Viennese waltz years ago. This will look amazing, and it’s so light.”

 

“It only feels that way because you had the other one on before. Do you think Len can help you put this on, or do you want me to help?”

 

“I don’t know. I’ll call you if I need you. We are having the reception in the new barn. Mama has already started moving the decorations in. There are Christmas trees and winterberry against the walls. She is having fun. Mrs. Chekov has been helping her. I know, but she wanted to be a part of this. I had lapel pins made for the men in his memory. They’ll wear them the day of the wedding.”

 

“This will be a Christmas to remember. I hear all of the cousins will be here.”

 

“Yes, along with some of the Enterprise crew. You don’t know! Jim asked Cal to marry him. You should ask her to see the ring. Let’s go show the ladies. Should I wear a veil?”

 

“I wouldn’t. Every time someone hugs you or puts their arm around you it will pull your head back.”

 

“Oh, I didn’t think of that. What do you think?”

 

“I think you look perfect.”

 

Seri twirled out to the ladies. “What do you think?”

 

Mama came up. “It moves wonderfully. You will look like a vision.”

 

Jo held both of Seri’s arms out in front of her. This is perfect, what did you say about Mom’s gown? ‘classic elegance’? That is exactly what this is.”

 

“Joce?”

 

“It’s perfect sis.”

 

“Sarah?”

 

“It’s you. It is perfectly you.”

 

“Cal, I would ask, but your smile tells me what you think. Nyota?”

 

“You look like a fairy princess. But how about all of the buttons? They look real, won’t Len just take out a knife and cut you out of the dress?”

 

“Nope. I’m going to have him prove to me what a good surgeon he is. Like Rose said, there is no reason he can’t undo these. Rose do you have shoes to go with these?”

 

“The ones you are wearing go with both if you want them.”

 

“Perfect! Rose you are amazing! Thank you!” She threw her arms around her friend then ran into the back to get changed.

 

“Who is going to help her get dressed before the service?”

 

Mama stepped forward. “I thought I would.”

 

“Good. You know how these gowns work. I don’t need to give a tutorial. I’ll have them at the house on Christmas Eve.”

 

Cal walked over to them. “Put them in my sitting room. Len won’t come in if Jim and I tell him not to.”

 

Rose grabbed Cal’s hand. “Anything you want to tell me?”

 

Cal blushed. “In the spring I am going to become Mrs. Kirk.” Rose gave her a quick hug then went into the dressing room to help Seri.

 

Undressing was far easier than dressing. Rose took the gown and put it with the velvet one. “Alright, lets get the tiara off. Cal can take that to Geoff, while we do the paperwork. I’ll keep the shoes with everything.”

 

“Rose, really, thank you for everything. I didn’t’ realize it could be like this.” She put on her jeans and top.

 

“This was fun! I’ve only been waiting eight years for this. Now I have Cal’s!”

 

“And Nyota’s.” Seri gave Rose a sideways look.

 

“Really?!”

 

“If she says yes. Spock is at Hancock’s with Uncle George. I’ll make sure she doesn’t see him.”

 

They left the dressing room and joined the group. “Seri, let’s finish the paper work. Here Cal, can you take this to Geoff?”

 

“I’ve got this. Rose, I’ll talk to you after the wedding.”

 

“Please, try to give me more than a week. Don’t be like this one.” She motioned to Seri.

 

“Hey! I gave you eight years!” Nyota was looking at the pictures of African and European brides. Seri got Jo and Joce’s attention. She whispered to them. “Can you keep her distracted? Spock is at Hancock’s with Uncle George.”

 

Joce was excited at the idea. “Not a problem. Nyota, let me show you the florist shop. We need to finalize everything. Sarah can you join us?” Sarah knew the flowers were taken care of, but she played along. There had to be a reason they were distracting her. Jo leaned over while they were talking and quickly told Sarah what was going on.

 

“Rose, how much do I owe you?”

 

“Nothing.” Seri looked both shocked and a little upset. “Don’t worry, I’m deducting it from the rent. I know Lenny would prefer it if I did it this way. And I like it better. I’m going to have a busy year, this will be one less thing for me to worry about.”

 

“You should stay for the bonfire Christmas Eve. I have a feeling we will have an extra room if you want to stay over.”

 

“I don’t think my puppy will like it. He is a lot like his grandfather.”

 

“Then bring him. We would love to see Gritt’s grand puppy. Come on!”

 

“Alright, but I can’t get lit.” Seri smirked as she gave her a kiss goodbye. She and Mama made their way back to the crafts. By the time they arrived everyone was waiting for them.

 

They drove back to the farm even more excited then when they had left. When they got home, Seri ran up the stairs to Len. He felt exhausted, and it wasn’t just the hike. Evan had been good for him. He had talked through a lot. Now he would need her. Life would be a rollercoaster for some time, but eventually they would be able to get off the ride.


	58. chapter 58

Jim and Jo explored the entire island. There were examples of most of the indigenous plants from the area. It would make a nice place to house visiting dignitaries. The grounds showed off the nature of the area to its best. “Jo, we should go back. They may miss us.”

 

Jo put on her best pout for her uncle, but it didn’t help. He walked to the boat and motioned for her to get in. “Do you think Shadow will be back soon?”

 

“He may already be there. Jo, are you really having a good time. I know there aren’t a lot of kids around. There were at the wedding, but you are stuck with us the rest of the time.”

 

Her face brightened. “I am. I have my friend. Shadow and I are friends. Can you help me mark things to take home? Aunt Seri says granddad wants me to take everything I want because he is going to rent the house. I want to have some things so I can remember this place. My aunt grew up here so it’s important.”

 

She was still outside the boat so Jim picked her up and put her in. “Shadow’s a good friend. We need to make sure he has all of the things he needs for the trip.”

 

Jim began to slowly row back to the opposite bank. “I’ll make a list. Do you think I’ll be able to use the pack to carry him to the shuttle? I won’t have to put him with the luggage, will I? He’ll be scared without me.”

 

“You should talk to your aunt. I’m sure she’ll take care of things. Making a list is a good idea. And yes, I’ll help you get things together to ship back. I know your granddad wants you to have some things from here. But you should clear with your dad, granddad, and aunt before you take anything. You could make a list and then show it to them.”

 

“Alright, I’ll make sure I do that. I don’t want a lot. But I’m going to take care of Shadow first.” Jim smiled as he watched her. She had been dipping her hand into the water and allowing it to push back with the wake of the boat. He never knew he would love caring for a child, but Jo showed him how rewarding it could be.

 

They arrive at the shore; Jo wouldn’t get out until the boat was pulled half way onto the ground. They walked to the back door. Jim saw Len asleep at the table. “Jo, look at Daddy.” Jo giggled. “I think you should wake him up.”

 

Jo snuck up on Len. He was sound asleep. She looked back at her uncle a few times before gently kissing her dad on his cheek. Len slowly opened his eyes. “Hi Turtle.” He couldn’t think of anything better than being woken by his baby. She climbed into his lap and put her head on his chest.

 

Jim joined them and sat opposite Len. “Hey Bones. How was the nap.”

 

“Good.” He hugged Jo to him. “Turtle, your friend is home.”

 

She moved back from him. “Can I go see him Daddy.”

 

Len released his grip. “Go play with him. We need to start getting him ready to go home.”

 

Jo gave her dad another kiss then slid down and walked into the kitchen. Shadow was waiting for her at the door. “That puppy sure loves her. Bones, are you okay?”

 

“Just tired. It could have been worse; her sister could have come as well. Her mother is a complete bitch. She and my dad would have made the perfect couple. Jim, I told her to leave and never see Seri again. I don’t know if I should have done that.”

 

“You protected both of them. You told me a relationship is a partnership. Today Seri needed you to be strong for her. She needed you to take care of things and you did. Was she angry?”

 

“With me? No.”

 

“How about with her dad?” Jim was concerned that her relationship with him would be damaged.

 

“She was, but not anymore. I don’t think she can stay mad with him. They will need to talk, but she understands why he did what he did.”

 

Jim decided to change the subject. “I think we should help Jaz get ready to move. What do you think?”

 

“You’re right. He will want some of the family artifacts. If he doesn’t have anywhere to keep them, he can always keep them at the farm. There are enough outbuildings, and the truly sentimental stuff we can put in the house until he gets a place. I’ll offer it to him.”

 

“He likes you a lot, and he loves Jo. You should have a talk with him when you get a chance. He’s interesting.”

 

“He is, and extremely intelligent. We’ve talked. I can see him in Seri. After meeting her mother, I can safely say she is nothing like her. I scared Lenoxia, it wasn’t hard to do. I don’t want to meet her sister.”

 

“I doubt we will. Did you mean to scare her?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

“Funny, I never saw you as scary.”

 

“I can be, just ask the interns at the Academy.” He could see Jo cradling Shadow as she sat on the floor of the atrium style hallway. “I’m a different person when I’m home.”

 

“No, you are a different person when you’re at work. I know you and you know me. Seri knows both of us. Is there anyone else at the Academy that really knows you?”

 

“No, just the two of you.”

 

“That is because that is work. It isn’t where you live.”

 

“True. I can feel her, Seri is most likely going to want to leave sooner than we planned. I know Jaz wants to go with us. I’ll have her cancel our shuttle and transport reservations. We need to find ones that will house all of us and Shadow.”

 

“If we can get the other puppies placed in their homes then Cordelia can come as well. I think he needs a clean break.”

 

“It won’t be clean. Trust me. Divorce is bad in the best of circumstances, and this isn’t the best of circumstances. Remember when we met?”

 

“Yeah. Not a day I could forget.” He smirked. “I just want to help him.”

 

“I know. We can all talk when they’re done.” They relaxed and waited for the father and daughter to join them.

 

Seri didn’t need to be a telepath to know how scared her father was. She had taken his hand as soon as she saw him in the foyer. He had made a mistake, but he thought he was doing the right thing. In the end it did work out for the best. Her mother was gone and her sister had never come, facts that hadn’t truly sunk in yet. “Dad, let’s go into the library.”

 

Jazined held his baby’s hand as if it was for the last time. She was blocking her thoughts and most of her feelings. Why did he ever teach her how to do that? She sat on the couch and he sat next to her waiting for the worst. Funny, he had no problem finding the right words in a court of law, but with his youngest the words were hard to find. “I’m so sorry Seriana. I…I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn’t know you had this until I felt you in the terminal. I wasn’t able to access that part of my psyche until I was older and I knew I had the ability.  I thought if you didn’t know, maybe you wouldn’t be able to use it yet. You’re still so young. I just thought…”

 

“How old were you when you could access it the first time?”

 

“I was thirty-one. I had been told about it when I was twenty-nine. My father and mother knew I was coming of age and would need to know about it. They said that some members of my mother’s family have this ability. They felt it in me. When they are young they aren’t told and it seems to hold it off until they are older. It doesn’t seem to come about without knowledge until one’s thirties.” He was babbling the way Seri did when she was upset.

 

“Dad, how old am I?”

 

He looked at her for a few seconds and then his eyes grew wide. “Twenty-eight; shit, I’m sorry. Part of me still sees you as my little girl. I still expect you to come running down the stairs the way Joanna does. I forget you are almost thirty. How angry are you?”

 

“I was angry. I’m not now. I just wish you had trusted me.”

 

“There wasn’t enough time for me to teach you how to control it. It takes days if not weeks to learn basic control.”

 

“We can start tomorrow if that is alright with you?”

 

“It is. You really aren’t angry?”

 

“No, just disappointed, but I understand. Len talked to me. He also saved mother. Luckily Celiasa didn’t come.”

 

“Seriana, he was the only one who could. I doubt anyone else could have reached you. I had forgotten to tell you. Your sister said she will not set foot in this house as long as her mother doesn’t live here. She is going to be livid when she finds out the house will never belong to her. She seems to think all we have is her birthright. I’m going to change that. The grandchildren will have trusts for their education and to get a start, but she won’t be able to touch them.”

 

Seri put her head on her dad’s shoulder. His arm wrapped around her shoulder. The only thing he feared hadn’t happened. Jaz knew he had Len to thank for that. He owed that kid. It would be good to spend time with him. “Dad, she went after Len and Jo. The things she said about that baby… I’ll never forgive her.”

 

“I know baby. She can be hateful.”

 

“Is that what triggered you?”

 

“I won’t tell you that, but I will tell you that I didn’t lose control. I didn’t destroy anyone no matter how much I wanted to. I wouldn’t lose my soul. I had you to worry about.”

 

“You were the only thing I hated leaving when I went to the Academy. That’s not true. I hated leaving Tachin, Kenakin, Maltina, Onika, Nina, and Cordelia. But it hurt to leave you.”

 

“I understand, but you did the right thing. Now I need to leave. Seriana, I can’t live here anymore. I never liked this place, but now there are too many ghosts. I do a lot of off planet litigation. I can stay at the office when I’m here, but Oranikin will be taking over this office for me. I’m grooming him to help me with my off-world litigation, but for now I want him near his family. He is going to be in charge of what goes on at the Betazoid home office until I think he is ready to expand. I know Nina wants to move closer to Earth. If he does as well as I think he will, it will be arranged.”

 

“You really need to talk to Uncle George.”

 

“So everyone tells me.” Jaz was smiling. “He sounds like a good man.”

 

“He’s a lot like you.”

 

“I’ll try not to hold that against him.”

 

She pushed a little at his side. “You really have thought this out.”

 

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. When you left, I didn’t have any reason to stay here. This last couple of weeks pushed me to do what I should have done months ago. Hell, I really should have done it years ago. Do you think Len and Jim would help me get things together?”

 

“I think they would be more than slightly enthusiastic about getting you out of this situation.”

 

“You’ve done well baby. You made a beautiful family. Len’s a good man.”

 

“He is, more than you know. Maybe one day he’ll tell you more about himself.”

 

“Maybe, but it isn’t necessary. I wonder if they think we killed each other?”

 

“Len knows I’m not angry. Dad, in the future please don’t hide things from me, even if it is to protect me.”

 

“I won’t. I’ll keep reminding myself that my baby is a grown woman; a very impressive grown woman.”

 

She kissed him on the cheek before they stood up. Gently he took her hand and led her to the patio where the men sat. Both had fallen asleep. Jim was snoring. “Thank God Jo is smart enough to take care of herself. Honestly you two!”

 

Len startled awake. “What? Oh, it’s alright I wasn’t asleep. I’m just resting my eyes.”

 

“Sure. Please wipe the drool from the side of your mouth.” Seri was laughing at them both.

 

“Seriana, don’t be hard on them. It’s been a very long day. We should get dinner then go to bed. Would you all mind helping me pack out? It may take a day or two.”

 

Jim sat up straight. “No sir. We were talking about that. If we do it and get the puppies homed you can come to Earth and not have to worry. Cordelia can come with us.”

 

Jaz looked at Len. “Is that what you were thinking?”

 

“Can we go for a walk?” Len was blocking his thoughts. He needed to have this talk in private.

 

“Sure.” The older man sounded tentative and concerned. Seri knew there was no reason for him to be worried, but these last months had diminished his self esteem and the fear of losing her had taken its toll.

 

“Hey, Jim, why don’t we help the munchkin get things ready for her baby? Also, there are a few books I am going to need help getting down. Don’t laugh, they are out of my reach even with the ladder.”

 

“Okay short stuff. Let’s go.” She led the way into the house as Len joined Jazined for a walk in the formal gardens.

 

The gardens were beautiful this time of year. It was a lot like spring back on Earth. Len was enjoying the honeysuckle and rose smell. “Len, if you don’t want me to spend more than a few days at the farm that’s alright. I don’t want to impose.”

 

Len stopped and looked up at the sky. As sun set it threw a purple hue over the clouds. “I know what it feels like. She’ll come in and take everything you hold dear. I know you’re not materialistic, but she’ll find the few things that bring you joy and she’ll rip them from you. I don’t want to see that happen.”

 

 Jaz stepped in front of the younger man. “Is that what happened to you?”

 

Len looked at him. “For a time. I don’t want it to happen to you. Besides, I doubt Lenoxia would ever give any of it back.”

 

“Your ex-wife returned what she took?”

 

“Joce took the only thing that mattered to me. She took Jo. I hurt her, she wanted to hurt me. Funny thing is she never told Jo anything bad about me. She just wanted me to feel her pain.”

 

“Obviously something changed.” They sat on a bench outside of the rose garden.

 

“We talked. I ran away from everything. That is how I ended up at the Academy. Joce is a good person, better than me. She didn’t deserve the way I treated her.”

 

“Do you mind if I ask what you did?”

 

“I picked at everything she did. She couldn’t do anything right. She would do something such as have dinner on the table and I would tell her how shitty it tasted. I called her stupid and told her one night I couldn’t understand what I ever saw in her. Everything I felt about myself I projected onto her. Eventually she had enough. She packed up Jo and left. It was a few weeks before she talked to me. She let Mama know how they were, but she stayed away from me. It wasn’t long before I was served with the divorce papers. Before I knew it, we were sitting in arbitration.”

 

“She wanted more than her share?”

 

“No, she didn’t want anything except for Jo. She didn’t want me to have any access to her. That was the first day. It went down hill from there. Ultimately, I got structured visitation rights every other Saturday, and I gave her a good settlement. Jaz, she was entitled to a ton more money but she told them she didn’t want it.”

 

“What changed?”

 

“I couldn’t see Jo unless there was someone with us. She said she was concerned I would treat our daughter the way I treated her. I never did that, I wouldn’t. She also said I was a drunk. I couldn’t argue with that. So, I left. I had nothing anymore. Then one day I called her, and we started to really talk. We talked the way we did before my dad died. It was never going to be the way it had been, but we started to communicate and things got better. I talked to Jo every weekend and I went home every break. Joce met a good man and he is a great dad to Jo. I still love her. Don’t worry, I’m not in love with her, but we are still good friends. She worries about me, but then I do give her reason to worry.”

 

“What made you change? Obviously, you weren’t the same person who left Georgia.”

 

“No, I wasn’t. It was because of those two in there. Jim and Seri helped me get past the worst of the self-hatred. Jim also told me I needed to apologize to Joce. He was right. It was what helped us move forward.”

 

“I don’t think my divorce will go anything like yours. I want Seri to have things from my family. I want your children to know about their heritage. Lenoxia will never be reasonable. You know, I envy you your divorce.”

 

“Don’t, there was a lot of pain to get where we are now.”

 

“Seri said your dad died a few years ago.” Len’s eyes changed. “Don’t worry, I won’t push you about it if you don’t want to talk.”

 

Len looked into him. He would need to know who his daughter was marrying. Also, for some reason, Len felt he could trust him. “I killed my father.”

 

Jaz’s eyes narrowed. “Why do I feel there is more to it?”

 

Len was looking at the ground. The other man could feel the defeat and pain no matter how Len tried to block it. “He was dying and in pain. I turned off the life support. He begged me, but ultimately, I’m the one who did it. I have to live with that. Dad, they found a cure soon after. If I had just waited…”

 

“Did you know they would definitely find it?”

 

“No.” His answer was a whisper.

 

“Then what you did doctor was an act of mercy. Look at me.” Len didn’t want to, but he did anyway. “You think you’re a murderer?”

 

“I am.”

 

“I have, let’s just say worked, with more than a few murderers. Trust me when I tell you, you aren’t one. Your feelings are all wrong. A murderer never feels the way you do.”

 

“You defended a lot of them?”

 

“A few, but I started out in the prosecutor’s office.”

 

“Uncle George started out in the District Attorney’s office as well. Then he joined a firm in Atlanta. Eventually he hung his own shingle. Personally, I think he liked to debate.”

 

“Don’t we all?”

 

“Dad, I would love it if you stayed at the farm as long as you want. The three of us have to go back to the Academy, but you are welcome to stay there.”

 

“I think your mother might have something to say about that.”

 

“Wait till you meet her. Uncle George just moved in with her. They are deeply in love. She deserves happiness. I can’t wait until you meet all of them. Callie’s a trip.”

 

“A what?”

 

“Sorry, she is something. She is funny, and brilliant. She loves me for some unknown reason.”

 

“I can understand why she does. Jim loves her.” The outdoor lights had turned on.

 

“He does; more than he realizes. Remember, he doesn’t know I know anything. Have you talked to Tachin and Kenakin about the house?”

 

“You are one of the few people who truly understands my responsibilities. I talked to them. They will stay on here until I relocate. It will be part of the deal. The officials have no problem with it. They need them to train a new staff anyway.”

 

“Have you given any thought to where you want to live?”

 

“Not really. Maybe Vulcan?” Len shot him a look. “That was a joke. I was thinking about moving closer to Earth. Seriana will be there for at least three years, and it will be closer to the heart of the Federation. Also, my new granddaughter is there. Kenakin and Tachin would also like to relocate nearer to Earth. Their daughters are at university and they have been excited to go to Earth for holiday. They are enamored with the planet.”

 

 Len was laughing. “See what you think when you visit. There are a lot of prospects for a man like you. You could really expand your practice.”

 

“I know, I should talk to George.” His smile showed a depth to his warmth that Len hadn’t seen before. “We should go in. The bugs will start biting soon.”

 

The walk back to the house was considerably more relaxed than the one to the garden had been. “We should mark what needs to be packed as soon as possible. Tomorrow, Seri and I will set up a new transport home. You can store your things at our house. We have plenty of storage space and also space in the house for things that are important to you.”

 

“I don’t want much. Most of the things will stay here. I am renting this place furnished. Kenakin already has a list of the house contents. He is meticulous. They feel many of these things are a part of Betazed’s cultural heritage. He is correct. Some of the things will be put on loan to the museum we visited.”

 

“That is perfect. They should be enjoyed by as many people as possible. We do that with some of our things. I see us as caretakers of these things, not owners.”

 

“Exactly! I’ll get things ready for donations. The head curator has been asking for things for years.”

 

“He’ll be happy when the crates show up.”

 

“You have no idea.” Len laughed. He knew exactly how it would go. When he donated the art to various museums, he swore some of the curators had orgasms.   

 

Len followed Jaz to the other side of the house. They entered the library through an outside door. Jaz stopped Len while they were still in the small entryway. Len could hear the three in the library. “Jim, it isn’t that difficult.”

 

“Are you crazy? No one can do that!”

 

They could see Jo holding Shadow, whose head rested on her shoulder, watching her aunt and uncle. Her head was tilted to the side trying to understand what she was seeing. Len and Jaz couldn’t see the other two. They could hear them. “Honestly, what is so hard to understand?”

 

“What is hard to understand is what made you think I had time to learn to be an acrobat. Did you think I trained to be a circus performer in my spare time?”

 

“Just lean a little farther. It’s the red book. You can reach it. Just balance. You aced physics.”

 

“Did you take out a life insurance policy on me? Here!” He had managed to pull the book from the top shelf.

 

“See, was it that difficult?” Len and Jaz came into the room. There were several piles of books on the chairs around the room.

 

“Granddad! Daddy! Watch this.” She proceeded to put Shadow on the carpet. “Watch. Shadow, down.” She had the puppy follow her hand from above his head to the carpet. He laid down when her hand touched the carpet. When he did she gave him a small treat.

 

“That is amazing Turtle! Puppies usually can’t be trained to do that until they are older.”

 

“He is really smart, just like you.”

 

“And like you. We should get something to eat.”

 

“Uncle Jim and Aunt Seri already got dinner for me and Shadow.”

 

“Alright, then you need to take Shadow out to potty and get a shower. After you’re done you can come back down.”

 

He kissed her before she grabbed the puppy and headed off. “Imzadi, I have a book you can read her before bed. Dad read it to me every night for a few years.” She handed him a thin blue book titled _My Favorite Flower. “_ It is about a mukluk plant that makes noise only for its special little girl. In the end she takes it with her when she marries and they are always together.”

 

“I guess this means we will have one of them as well.”

 

Jaz was helping Jim with the books. “At least one. They’re Seriana’s favorite.”

 

“As long as I don’t have to hang from a ladder to get to them.”

 

“Stop it. Jim you might think I tried to kill you.”

 

“Bones, your fiancé wants all of these. She told me she only wanted a few books.”

 

“Len some of these are about bonding, some are about the family’s history.”

 

“Your dad’s, or your mother’s?”

 

“Both. Dad, I was thinking, we could get a container to send the things back to Len’s farm.”

 

“We already have that covered princess. Len and I talked. Your children will need some things from your heritage, but there will also be another container for things that will be put on loan to the museum. After your mother takes what she is entitled to, I will make sure the home is suitably furnished and rented as such.”

 

“She is going to be angry.”

 

“That is for me to deal with. Don’t worry about it. She isn’t particularly proactive about things. She hasn’t even been to the bank yet.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“She hasn’t called screaming. All but one of the accounts is gone, and all of my family’s jewels are also gone. The gems I bought her and those she had before we married are still there. I brought my things here. They are going with us. I’ll put them in your deposit box on Earth. They are for you and your children anyway.”

 

“They are yours, but you can keep them there. Dad, I really don’t want much.”

 

“I know baby, neither do I.”

 

“I’ll make sure I pack all of my clothes.”

 

“I’ll send most of mine to the office and take the rest with me. I have an empty office I can keep some of the excess clothes in.”

 

“Kiddo, is there anything else you need?”

 

“Not today.” She smiled as he looked at her through squinted eyes. Then she gave him a kiss on the cheek that made up for all of the things she asked him to do. “Thank you, Jimmy. I appreciate it.”

 

“I’m going to take a long hot shower. Goodnight everyone. I have a feeling we are going to have a lot to do tomorrow.”

 

Jaz couldn’t believe the two men were throwing themselves into helping him. He looked over at Len who had taken several of the family pictures and put them with the books. “Goodnight Jim. Thank you for everything.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. We can have this done faster if we all work together.”

 

“Tomorrow I’ll see if my granddaughter wants anything to remember this place.”

 

Len walked over to them. “She has the puppy. He is her baby. But I have a feeling she might want that bed.” He was half laughing.

 

“Dad, I know she wants the dressing table. I think she should have the bedroom set. When she outgrows it, we can use it if we have a daughter.”

 

“That’s a great idea. I’ll put the linens with it as well. Also, I’ll pack the riding helmets. It seems a shame to leave them if she can use them.”

 

“Then we are definitely going to be working all day. Goodnight again.” Jim went to his room.

 

The room smelled like the mukluks. Moonlight filtered into the room as Jim looked around. It was beautiful, but something was missing. Cal wasn’t there. Nothing felt right without her. He missed the sarcasm and her feisty demeanor. More than that he missed her acceptance of him. Jaz was more than welcoming, but all of this was about to change. He wanted to share it with her before it disappeared.

 

One day he wanted to travel there with her and show her this world. It was almost as beautiful as she was. Jo was enjoying it all. Watching her throw herself into everything as if it were an adventure, reminded him of all he missed out on growing up the way he did. If he was ever lucky enough to have children, he wanted them to grow up like the little munchkin. The shower had multiple heads. Hot water was beating the tension out of his back.

 

The shower stall had no door. The wall was built out far enough that the water didn’t splash onto the bathroom floor. He thought about reconfiguring his shower at the farm to be more like this; more of a small shower room than a shower stall. The water hit his face, rinsing off the day’s dirt. When he turned and opened his eyes, he saw a little grey fluff ball in the corner. The puppy must have wandered in while Jo was down stairs with her daddy.

 

“Hello there little one. Your mommy is going to be worried when she sees you’re gone.” He picked up Shadow and gently held him under the water. “Let’s get you washed.” The shampoo was massaged in and rinsed of carefully. The water had startled him, but he felt safe in Jim’s arms. Once they were both clean Jim dried both of them and threw on shorts. Jo would be looking for her baby soon.

 

A year before Jim didn’t care about anyone, least of all himself. Everything had changed, Len had changed it. He and then Seri had opened him up to love. What little love he had growing up had been ripped away. After Tarsus IV, Jim vowed he would never get close enough to anyone to get hurt. He didn’t want to feel that pain again.

 

So much for that vow. Over the past year it had been replaced by things more important that his fear of loss. He sat on the bed with Shadow in his lap. “So, buddy, what did you think of the shower? I like them. I think your mommy does as well. You know we are going to leave this place in a few days? You’ll be with us the whole time, so you don’t have to be scared. I know what it’s like to be scared. You will always be safe, I promise that. You’re my puppy too you know.” He picked him up and held Shadow to his chest.

 

His eyes closed as he pulled the puppy a little higher. As he sat Jo walked in. She watched her uncle for a few minutes before she spoke. “Uncle Jim, do you want Shadow tonight?”

 

“Baby, he’s yours. He will want to be with his mommy. I gave him a bath. He likes the water.”

 

“Okay, but if you need him you can come get him. Uncle Jim?”

 

“Yes Munchkin?” He put Shadow onto the bed.

 

She climbed up next to him. “Why are you sad? Is it because you miss Aunt Callie?”

 

He looked at her with a sad smile. “A little. Jojo, one day, when you are a lot older, we will have a long talk. I promise. But, for now, know that as long as you’re in my life I’ll never be as sad as I was before.” She looked confused. “I know, grown-ups can be silly.”

 

“You can be. Shadow loves you.”

 

“I know. Baby I know that all of you love me. And I love all of you. I haven’t had anyone love me since I was a kid. This is new for me.”

 

“How about your mommy?”

 

“Not everyone has a mommy and daddy like yours. No, my aunt and uncle.”

 

“Like my aunts and uncles?”

 

“Yes, and I miss them sometimes.”

 

She looked into his eyes as if she was trying to figure out a particularly difficult math problem. “But now you have us.”

 

“Come here munchkin.” He picked her up and carried her back to her room. He pulled the covers back and placed her under them. “I do have all of you, and you have me. Jo, I’ll never let anything happen to you. I promise I’ll always keep you safe.”

 

“I know Uncle Jim. I’ll keep you safe too.”

 

He smiled at her as he pushed the hair from her face. “You do baby. I have to get Shadow. I’ll be right back.” Jim left and returned with the puppy. He placed him on the opposite side of Jo as he sat on the bed. Until this week he could never see himself as a father, he definitely didn’t see himself caring for another little girl. Jo changed all of that. “Do you want me to read you a story?”

 

“Daddy read me this one when I went downstairs. Can you read it to me again?”

 

“Absolutely baby. Get comfortable.” Jo leaned against Jim as he wrapped an arm around her and began to read about the mukluk plant and the little girl that loved her. Before he was half way through the story, she was asleep and drooling on his chest. Jim carefully moved her from him and made sure she stayed asleep before he scratched the puppy, turned off the lights and left. Len was lucky he would always have Jo’s love. Jim prayed he would have that type of unconditional love one day. What he didn’t realize was he already did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have edited some of the previous chapters to fix some continuity issues.


	59. chapter 59

Jim laid awake after Cal left. She had kissed him goodbye and told him the women would all be gone for the day. Seri was getting her gown for the wedding. The bridal party would go the next day for theirs. Rose wanted to see what Seri would pick before she pulled some styles for them to try. She was so excited; Jim didn’t have the heart to tell her he had been up most of the night.

 

The nightmares had started after 00:00. Every time he fell back to sleep, he could see Pavel rotting in the casket, or Len lying dead on the operating table. In the dreams he is blamed. George stands at the altar in front of the opened casket telling him that they never should have made him captain. He told the admiralty Jim wasn’t good enough and never would be. George would be joined by Mama and Jaz, all of them saying that he was a disappointment. He should have died on Tarsus IV or driving that car off the cliff. As he looked into the casket, he would see the kid decomposing in front of him. That would startle him awake, it took time to fall back to sleep.

 

Then there were the ones with Len dead on the table. Those were worse. When Jim woke from them it took him a few moments to realize they were only dreams. In the first dream Jim had been on the bridge when Spock called him to the medbay. When he got there no one was talking. He found himself walking back to the operating room and walking through the closed door. The room was blindingly bright with Len on the table. Blood dripped onto the floor causing puddles to form. He walked to his friend. Hazel eyes stared lifelessly at the ceiling. Len’s skin was pale, almost chalk white. Seri stepped behind him and told Jim it was all his fault. Len would still be with her if it wasn’t for him. He woke when, in the dream, his hand touched Len’s.

 

The next one was worse. In that one Len died in his arms. He told his captain that his death wasn’t Jim’s fault. That he forgave him for everything. It was his job now to take care of the McCoy family. Jim stood in the chapel at the head of Len’s casket. Jo stood next to him in tears. Then he watched the box lower into the ground. Jo was sobbing so loud it sounded like a scream. As this continued he felt Len standing behind him telling him this was how all of Jim’s relationships would end. In the end he would destroy everyone he loved. After that one Jim didn’t want to go back to sleep.

 

He slipped quietly out of bed and left the rooms through their den. The house was dark as everyone slept. Jim blocked all of his emotions and thoughts from Seri. She was exhausted and needed to rest. None of it was real. He knew none of it was real. His heart was racing, and he was sweating. It was Kallie all over again. He could see her in Pavel, in Len, and even in Jo. He needed it to stop. Maybe seeing the therapist would be a good idea.

 

Jim went into the parlor, poured a scotch, and turned on the tree. Sarah had one in each common room. He knew that after tomorrow all of the bedrooms would also be decorated. The smells and sights would normally make him feel love, warmth, and safety, but this time they didn’t. He couldn’t get past the feeling of failure. And then there was his talk with Jo. She saw through him. That was another nightmare. There were the nightmares he could wake up from and then there was the one he would have to confront.

 

Overstuffed leather chairs sat facing the fireplace. This was his favorite place at night. In the morning and at dusk he preferred the front sunroom, but at night this was his place of peace. Len made this his home almost a decade before, now it was the only place in the universe Jimmy felt he truly belonged. Captain Kirk belonged on the Enterprise, Jimmy belonged in this home. What if after he told Jo who he was she wouldn’t want him near her? He would lose everything. None of this would be the same if his niece hated him.

 

The scotch was finished, and the tree turned off. Jim refilled his glass and took it with him as he walked around the downstairs. The clock said it was 02:00, how was he going to get through the rest of the night. Someone was moving upstairs and he didn’t want anyone to know he was up. Len’s coat was in the cloak closet. He threw it on and sat on the front porch. The light from the dining room had been turned on and spilled onto the porch.

 

The front door opened and closed. Tiny steps found their way across the porch. Jim had slumped in his chair hoping to hide from whoever was more than likely going to destroy his solitude. “I know you’re here.”

 

“You should go back to bed.”

 

“I’m not eight years old anymore.”

 

“I know.”

 

She moved closer. “It was easier when I was.”

 

“Sometimes.” He sat with his legs stretched in front of him. He took a sip.

 

“Do you mind if I join you?”

 

“I never mind. I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

 

“Uncle Jim…I’m sorry.”

 

Jim stood up and moved to the couch. He patted the seat next to him. “Sorry for what? Young lady, get a coat.”

 

“Give me a minute.” She ran in and grabbed the thick blanket from the den, then came back out. He patted the seat next to him again and she sat down pulling the blanket around her. “I know you’ve been having nightmares. I think I might be one of the reasons.”

 

“You know there are days I hate that you’re an empath.” His attempt at humor didn’t make her feel any better. “Jo, there were a lot of things that contributed to my sleeping problems.”

 

“Nightmares.”

 

“Alright, nightmares. Jo, come here, you’re shivering.” She tucked under her uncle’s arm and snuggled in like she did when she was little.

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

Jim tensed, he knew it was coming but it scared him. The scotch was finished in one gulp. “Sure.”

 

“I already talked to dad, mom, Uncle Evan and Aunt Seri. They are all okay with this. I also talked to Uncle Scotty. I want to go with you when the Enterprise leaves.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I am. I want to see animals on other planets. I am going to go for a degree in Zoology and then hopefully go to veterinary school. Penn has an annex near here. It doesn’t matter. I thought this would be a great opportunity. Also, Uncle Scotty told me I could bring Shadow. Uncle Jim, what do you think?”

 

“I think I have never been able to say no to you, and you know that.”

 

“Mmhhmm.”

 

“Of course, you can come. You knew that was going to be my answer.” He squeezed her a little with his arm.

 

“I wasn’t positive.” She shifted closer. Jim knew she wanted to ask him about what he was hiding. She was as scared as he was.

 

“Ask me Jojo. If you want to know just ask me. Just be sure you want to know. Years ago I said something similar to your aunt. Remember, once you know something, you can’t unknow it.”

 

She cuddled in even closer. This had been their spot since Kahn. “What happened to you? There is more to this than what happened on Mylus. I have a feeling Daddy, Aunt Seri, and Aunt Cal know.”

 

“So does your grandmother, grandfather, and granddad.”

 

“Is that all?”

 

“No, but everyone who knows is on this farm.”

 

“Alright. What scares you about telling me?”

 

“You’re my little girl. I know you know that. You’ve been my niece since that first summer. Jo, I don’t want to lose you. That’s what scares me. That I could lose you, or that you won’t see me the same way you do now.”

 

“I can’t promise I won’t see you differently, but Uncle Jim you won’t lose me. I love you.”

 

Jim knew she didn’t know what she was saying. “Alright, have they taught you about Tarsus IV in school?”

 

“Yes, there was a leader, I don’t remember his name, he killed a lot of people because he said if he didn’t then they all would die. The food was running out.  It wasn’t long after the killings that food arrived. No one would have died. There were a group of kids that escaped his…” She turned to look her uncle in the eye.”

 

“Yeah. That was me. I was one of the oldest…” Over the next hour Jim told his niece about all he did during his time on Tarsus IV. Her eyes never left him. For the first time she saw all he was; who he was under the façade he showed the world. He saved Kallie for last. His hands shook and tears slowly escaped his eyes as he told her what he did to survive and save the others. As he talked, he felt her hand slip around his. After what felt like days, he finished the story. He had been focusing on their hands, she continued to focus on him. “Jo, that’s who I am.”

 

“You’re right I do look at you differently. Uncle Jim, please look at me, please.” Jim raised his eyes without moving his head. Gently she pushed his chin up until he was looking at her. She wiped his tears away. “I always knew you were strong and self-sacrificing. This explains a lot. It also explains why you understand daddy.”

 

“You still call him daddy?”

 

“Sometimes.” She turned around and snuggled in again. “You know something?”

 

“What?”

 

“I always felt safe with you. And in a way I define myself by being my father’s daughter and your niece.”

 

“And now?”

 

“I am safe with you. I always have been. And I am proud to be his daughter and your niece. You both give me something to live up to, something I want to be. Were you really afraid I would hate you?”

 

“Don’t spend your life trying to be like us. Be yourself. Yes, I was afraid you would be afraid of me. Jo, I was so scared that first summer. I hadn’t taken care of a little girl since Kallie. Now you know how that ended.” His voice trailed off, his mind going back to that summer. “I was afraid.”

 

Jo turned around again. “Please don’t ever worry about losing me. I’m your niece, you can’t lose me. I want to be as strong as you are, not be exactly like you. You and dad aren’t my George Kirk. I know none of this is easy, not for dad, and not for you.”

 

“You knew how I felt about my dad? Of course, you did. Jo, before you ask, the only ones under my command that know about this are your dad and Seri. Though I think Spock and Nyota figured it out.”

 

“Probably. I remember when we were at granddad’s and you were sitting on the bed with Shadow. You were sad and you told me that one day you would tell me why.”

 

“I remember. I know you’ve grown up too fast.”

 

“Define too fast.”

 

“You really are Spock’s niece.” He laughed at the thought. “You’re seventeen. You look seventeen, but when you open your mouth, sometimes you sound like you’re thirty. You shouldn’t you know.”

 

“How did you sound when you were my age?”

 

“I see your point. Maybe I want better for you.”

 

“Now you sound like dad.”

 

“He is my best friend and my brother.”

 

“You didn’t do that to him you know?” She pulled the blanket tighter.

 

“Do what?”

 

“The torture. You know I read the report. Dad needs to stop using the horses’ names as passwords.

 

“I’m responsible for all of it.”

 

“I understand that, and I agree, you are responsible for all of it.” She could see him tense. “That doesn’t mean you could have done anything to stop what happened. From what I read, they had this planned months before you got there. You couldn’t have known. It wasn’t your fault. See, all of those diplomacy classes you insisted I take came in handy.”

 

She made him smile. “Plus, those courses in communications and standard.”

 

“Also, granddad and grandfather have been teaching me. They said I should know how to use language correctly.”

 

“You should. Your dad said almost exactly the same thing to me the night Pavel laid in state at the Academy. Intellectually I understand what you both said, but emotionally I still feel responsible on all levels. Are you going to be like this when you’re on the Enterprise?”

 

“Probably. But Uncle Jim, I mean it. It isn’t your fault.”

 

“Munchkin, thank you.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Loving me all these years. I needed…I’m not quite sure what I needed.”

 

“Family, people who see you. You have all of us. None of us are going anywhere I promise.”

 

She was no longer the little girl with the bouncing ponytails. Part of Jim wanted that little girl back, but he knew that was just nostalgia. He loved the woman Jo was becoming. Illogically he took some pride in her transformation. “It’s freezing out here. We should go in.”

 

“We should get to bed. Aunt Cal is going to miss you and I’m going shopping tomorrow. I’m glad you’re going to be my uncle legally. That means you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.” They stood up and walked into the house. He kept his arm around her shoulders.

 

“I’m not stuck with you baby.”

 

He kissed her on the top of her head then put Len’s coat back in the closet. They walked up together and went to their bedrooms. Jim managed to sleep through the rest of the night. The talk helped. She saw who he was and loved him in spite of it. It was the unconditional love Jim never realized he had.

 

Len met Evan on the front porch. This was something he both needed and dreaded. Evan knew Len, sometimes better than Len knew himself. One thing Evan knew for sure was Len was hiding. “Hey, why does Joce call you, Donkey?”

 

“She can get away with that. You on the other hand…” He was laughing. “Ready for a hike?” He handed   
Evan a bottle of water.

 

“Definitely! Any ideas on where we should go?”

 

“I thought we could go through the woods behind the sheep pasture.”

 

“Good idea. We need to make some decisions regarding the far end of those woods. I think we can take down a few acres, expand the pasture. We also need a few more goats, but that’s another conversation.”

 

“Let’s go.” They walked to the craft. The woods they were going to hike was too far to walk to if they were going to hike the woods. Evan drove as Len watched the scenery fly by. His mind went back to the time Pavel tried to help shear the sheep. They had a small flock before they bought the neighboring farm. Jo had talked Evan into getting half a dozen for the lawn. When Jim was recuperating Pavel spent time with them. He read up on how to shear a sheep and thought he wouldn’t have any trouble doing it. Two sheep in he admitted it was a lot harder than he thought. Paul taught him about breaking the fleece near the neck, and how to get the shears down far enough to get them full. He was so proud when he managed to do one perfectly.

 

The craft stopped near the woods. Sheep surrounded them as they made their way to the gate. Len opened it and they both headed into the woods. The cold air smelled clean. He never regretted this purchase. The Peretti’s couldn’t care for it anymore and it had been a great opportunity to expand.

 

The woods had a variety of trees and a stream the connected to the one that fed the pond at the house. He had missed the fall and the smell of decaying leaves. It was one of his favorite fragrances, and when it mixed with the pine needles it was that much better. He stopped, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

 

“Where did you go back there?”

 

Len opened his eyes. “Sorry?” He started to walk again. The dead leaves crushed under his boots.

 

“In the car, where did you go?” Evan was walking next to Len. Neither man looked at the other. There were branches and acorns on the floor of the woods. They didn’t want to trip.

 

“Nowhere.”

 

“I didn’t think we lied to each other.”

 

Len stopped. “Nowhere really. I was thinking about the time Pavel learned to shear sheep.”

 

“That was funny. Let’s go down here.” Evan led Len to a small hill. They walked down it till they came to the small stream. “We can follow this to the end of the woods. Len, it’s alright to think about him. You don’t have to hide that from us.” He stopped. “You don’t have to hide anything from me.”

 

Len stopped. “I know that.” Evan looked skeptical. “I do. I just…I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“But you need to talk about it. I didn’t read the report. Your daughter has a talent for breaking passwords, I don’t.”

 

“She’s a lot like her Uncle Jim. If there is something in the way, find a way around it by any means necessary.”

 

“And her mom, at least with the curiosity. What happened to you?”

 

“Nothing, Pavel died.”

 

“Len, why did you come out here today?”

 

Len walked over to a tree that had fallen. He sat on the log and looked at one of the few people in the universe who could see through him. “I needed to.”

 

Evan sat next to him. “Needed to what?”

 

“Tell you.”

 

“If you keep this up, you’ll get it out in time to walk Jo down the aisle.”

 

Len laughed silently as he looked up through the bare ash trees. “Evan, I’m scared.” He looked down at his hands.

 

“I know. I see it every time I look at you. Don’t worry, anyone outside of the family would think you’re doing alright.”

 

“I killed him. I did it. Now his mother is under my roof. She thinks I took care of her son, but I didn’t, I killed him.”

 

“So, you’re a murderer? You killed him because you wanted him dead.”

 

“No!”

 

“You killed him because he angered you.”

 

“No. I see what you’re doing.”

 

“I wasn’t exactly being subtle. Just talk to me Lenny. Tell me what happened down there.”

 

“They held us in a cell. When they acted as if they were going to take me, Pavel stopped them. The little shit actually knocked one of them out. They drug him out. Evan what they did to him was unimaginable. They brought him back then took him again. When he came back…anyway, I have never seen anyone alive with those types of wounds.”

 

“Tell me about them.” Len told him in detail about how they came close to disemboweling the kid. How he couldn’t save him. How he sat with Pavel’s head in his lap running his fingers through the kid’s hair. Evan continued to ask questions that caused Len to go into graphic detail. Details only Seri, Cal, Spock, Nyota, and Jim knew. Len assumed what he hadn’t told Cal, Jim had, and Nyota had to have filled in some of the blanks for Spock. “He knew I couldn’t save him. Evan, he knew what they could do to him. He knew what they would do to him.”

 

“Len, what did you do for him?”

 

“You know that necklace Kat is wearing?”

 

“The gold orthodox cross? It’s very intricately carved. I thought it was a family heirloom, but she said she had given it to Pavel on his twenty-first birthday.”

 

“The next time you see her, look at it. There’s a thick, sharp, point at the bottom. I couldn’t let them take him. He would have died without any family with him. He would have died alone. I did it. It was so easy. He knew exactly what I was going to do. Evan, he thanked me. I told him I loved him then I slit his throat.” Len was shaking. He was wearing a thick coat, but he was shaking as if he was freezing in a tee shirt. “I just didn’t want him to die alone.”

 

“And that is it? Len how much has this cost you?”

 

“I don’t know. What they did to me was horrific, but what they made me do to Pavel was worse. Fuck, that’s the first time I’ve ever said that to anyone.”

 

“I know you were tortured, but I don’t know the details.” Len looked at Evan with deep fear in his eyes. “Don’t worry, we can visit that later. You said what they had you do to Pavel was worse. Why is that?”

 

Evan wasn’t taking his eyes off of his friend. He knew Len would break soon; Evan wanted to see it coming before it hit. “I watched him grow up. You know that? He was only fourteen when I met him. I told Seri he was like a bouncing otter. He was. He loved life more than anyone I’ve ever met. He didn’t even get to turn thirty. He didn’t have a life. He deserved it. He deserved to have a life. I ended it. I slit his throat. I…” He was shaking harder.

 

Evan put his arm around Len. “You didn’t end it, they did. And he did have a life. We get what we get, whether it is one minute or two hundred years, it is a life.” Len was crying.

 

“I can’t stop crying. I want to stop.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I need it to stop. I need it to stop.”

 

“You need the pain to stop, and it will. We’re all here. I’ve got you. You need to allow yourself to feel the pain. Isn’t that what you told me when my brother died? You can’t move past the pain if you don’t allow yourself to truly feel it. You were right. This next year is going to be the worst of it, but you know that.”  He turned Len so his friend rested his head on his shoulder and placed his hand behind Len’s head. Evan held him as he continued to cry.

 

“I haven’t cried like this in almost a decade. Fuck! I can’t do this.”

 

“Yes, you can. I won’t pretend to understand what you went through, but I know what deep grief feels like. I’m not going anywhere Lenny.”

 

Len started to calm. “Thank you, Evan. You have been incredible, and I don’t just mean about this. You have been an amazing dad. You aren’t fucking that up the way I did.”

 

Evan let go of him. “Leonard, you didn’t fuck it up. Look at her. She’s a product of all of us. She wants to spend the next few years with you. Do you think she would want that if you fucked up her childhood?”

 

“Probably not. Are you really alright with her coming with us?”

 

“Joce and I think it’s a good opportunity for her to see the galaxy. More important than that, it’s a good opportunity for her to spend time with her dad. You both need it. Also, I need you to take your niece and nephew for a day after the new year. They’re driving me crazy. Evidently the world will come to an end if Uncle Len doesn’t get to play with them.” He had allowed Len to talk through the fear and pain, now he needed to move him onto more innocuous things.

 

“I love those two. Crystal’s comm messages were always the highlight of my month. I’m not kidding. She could always make me laugh. I hear she started riding.”

 

“Yes, but she isn’t allowed to jump. Jo explained that you need to be older to hold on correctly. I told her if she jumps even once before we teach her, she will not be allowed to ride until she is a teenager.”

 

“I had that same talk with Jo. It worked. We also made sure there was nothing anywhere she rode that she could try to jump.”

 

“Joce took care of that. Also, like with Jo, she isn’t allowed to ride without one of us with her.”

 

“Good. If she’s like her mother she’s hardheaded.”

 

Evan got up, Len followed. They started to walk to the end of the woods. “She is just like her mother, and her uncle.”

 

“And probably her father. After yesterday I assume Mitch is a lot like you. He sees what he wants and to hell with what is going on around him.”

 

“You know me. Yes, he is.” They came to a clearing. “Len, thank you for all of this. I know I’ve said it before, but thank you.”

 

“I guess Joce and I haven’t fucked up our divorce.”

 

Evan smirked. “No, that was the one thing you two seemed to do exceedingly well. Seriously, why does she call you Donkey? When I asked her, she just laughed and walked away.”

 

Len started to really laugh. “It was years ago, before Jo was born. Every time Joce would tell me how to do something, I would automatically do the opposite. She would tell me to take a certain course and I would ignore her advice, she would tell me how to fix something and I always thought I knew better. Almost every time she was correct, and I would end up doing it a few times before I would admit she was right and I was wrong. She said I was as hardheaded as an old mule. She was partially right. Dad always told me I was wrong, so I couldn’t stand to think someone else could know more. Joce broke me of that before Jo came along, but the name Donkey stuck. She said it sounded better than mule or jackass.”

 

“She had a point there. I used to do that sometimes. After my parents it was hard for me to admit I was wrong. She broke me of that in less than a year.”

 

“She had practice.”

 

“Seems so. She calls me Sunshine. It’s definitely sarcasm. Seems I can be a little prickly.”

 

Len and he were laughing. “At least she is consistent in her taste. No wonder she and Seri are so close.”

 

“They have to put up with us. We’re almost at the spot I wanted to talk to you about.” They walked about ten yards more to the next clearing. “See how the land flattens out here. I was thinking we could clear out the woods from here to the end of the property. It will allow us to add to the flock. Jake has buyers lined up if we can produce more. Sorry, if you can produce more.”

 

“No, it’s we.  That is something we all need to talk about while I’m home. I want to sit down and talk about a possible merger. Maybe we could talk to George and Jaz. Just us at first, then we can bring in the others if it’s a possibility.”

 

“Alright?”

 

“Seri and I have been talking about this since Krall. We wanted to talk to you about merging the two companies, yours and mine. Maybe the four of us can talk tonight, then bring it to the lawyers?”

 

“I need to think about it and run it by Joce, but it could be a very good alliance. This is a shock.”

 

“I know. After these past couple of weeks, I have decided not to put things off. Sorry to blindside you.” Len wasn’t sure if this was a good time to bring up his idea, and he definitely didn’t want Evan to feel cornered, but fiscally it did seem like a good idea.

 

They walked to the edge of the woods that bordered the pasture. “I assume you have some numbers.”

 

“I do. I could send them to you, or Jo could just break into my PADD.”

 

“It would be easy to just let her go, but maybe you should send it to me.”

 

“That ram looks pissed. I’ll get it to you as soon as we get back.”

 

“Ramses?” Len rolled his eyes. “I know, but Joce came up with the name.”

 

“Maybe that’s why he’s pissed.”

 

“That’s my take on it. He hates anyone near his ewes. Keep him in your peripheral vision. I made the mistake of looking him in the eye. He can fucking run.”

 

“Great. Jim thought this farm was a great idea. I’m not so sure.”

 

“Jim had a good idea. Making it a sheep farm was also a good idea. The revenue has been tremendous. We need to talk about that as well. I have some ideas. Maybe Jim and Cal should be included.”

 

“You’re right, they should be. Gil is coming for the wedding.”

 

“Really? I haven’t seen him in years. Joce didn’t tell me who he was until he left.”

 

“He doesn’t announce his last name except in the negotiation room. Being a Rothschild isn’t always a good thing. Did she tell you why he and I are so close? I mean you know our mothers were close, but he and I were closer than most.”

 

“Joce didn’t tell me anything. I know she’s close to him and he understands this family more than most.”

 

They exited the paddock, Len leaned against the craft. “Our families do things a little different than most of the Earth’s wealthy families. Most of the families no longer have the wealth they had a few generations ago. They passed the companies to the oldest child. The Rothschilds and the McCoys do it differently. The person who holds the family’s interests picks their successor. They pick the person best suited to carry the businesses forward. That is why we have what we have.”

 

“That makes a lot more sense. I see how your mind works, and you have your hands in things even when you aren’t here.”

 

“I try. My dad pitched a fit when he didn’t get this place. From what Cal said he went off the fucking deep end. Mama put him in his place. Grandma’s will left it all to me. She knew I would care for it. I think she also thought he would sell it. Granddad had left it to her, but when she passed it was to go to me. From the letter she left I know it was his idea as well as hers.”

 

“Len, they would be proud of you. You have expanded in ways I doubt they would have thought possible.”

 

“Highland Enterprises has also diversified. George and Jaz have been playing. They have tripled our capital over the past nine years. We are sitting at a net worth of approximately twenty-one billion.”

 

“Damn! They’ve been busy. Does Jim know?”

 

“Jim and Seri know. I haven’t told anyone else. I assume Mama knows.”

 

“And Cal?”

 

“I haven’t told her. She never seemed interested. Now that she is marrying Jim, I have a feeling she will be more active with the farm at least.”

 

They got back in the craft. “We should have a family meeting. Do you want to do it before or after your wedding?”

 

“Before, that way we can sit with the lawyers after.”

 

“How long are you going to be on your honeymoon.”

 

They pulled into the drive. “We’ve traveled enough. Seri and I want to stay home.”

 

“I understand.” They parked in the small lot in front of the pecan trees. “How are you doing?”

 

Len looked out the side window, “Better.”

 

“Look at me.” Len turned toward Evan. “Now, how are you doing?”

 

“A little better. I needed today. We can talk about the rest of it later if you’re okay with that.”

 

“I am. I’m here for you. I meant what I said earlier, I don’t care what time it is, if you need me call. I keep my comm next to the bed just in case.”

 

“God, Evan, thank you. I may need to take you up on that one day. Some days are better than others.”

 

“I know they are. I’m at the farm for the next two months before I have to go to New Vulcan. If you need me to change my plans when the time comes, you only have to tell me. I can send one of my workers to look over the site.”

 

“No, you need to go there. Spock tells me their infrastructure needs some changes. I’ll be alright.”

 

They got out and walked to the house. “Promise me we’ll talk over the rest before I leave. You need to talk about it with someone you trust.”

 

“I do trust you, and you’re right. The more I talk about it, the faster I’ll heal.”

 

“To a point, but it will take a while.”

 

“I know. We should eat. I have a feeling the ladies will take a while. Seri didn’t realize what went into wedding gown buying.”

 

“It will definitely be an experience for her.” The two men grabbed some food from the refrigerator and made lunch. “I wonder where Jim is.”

 

“He probably went to the stables. If I know Jake, he’ll go looking for him.”

 

“He needs Jake. Jim spent the last few years as Captain Kirk. I think he needs to talk to someone who doesn’t see him as that. He needs to be Jimmy.”

 

“He does. He is older than his dad was when he died. He’s starting to find out who Jim is. I think this year will help with that.”

 

“Probably. He’s a good man.”

 

“Hopefully one day he’ll believe that.”

 

“You mean the way you do?” Evan always knew about Len’s self-loathing. He fought Len on it every time an opportunity presented itself.

 

Len squinted over his sandwich at Evan. “Sure.” The rest of the afternoon was spent in Len’s office going over the numbers for all of the holdings. Evan was gaining a better understanding of who his best friend was, and how much the business concerns weighed on him. He would see what he could do to help a family he had come to love. It had been a productive day in many ways.


	60. chapter 60

Len was putting the books onto the floor in the entryway when Jaz joined him. “That little girl adores you. There is nothing like a daughter’s love.”

 

“You would know all about that.” Len stretched his back. “Of course, Seri would love books. Paper is fucking heavy.”

 

Jaz was laughing. “You and she make quite a team. Thank you for all of this. I couldn’t do it by myself.”

 

“You could, it would just take a lot longer. We should order the containers.” 

 

“I’ll do that before I go to bed. It won’t take long. It’s funny, most people love the home they grew up in. I had a nice childhood, but I never liked this house. My mother was the oldest daughter and the house went to her. Our family wasn’t one of the original houses, but we were wealthy. My great grandfather discovered a vein of dilithium while exploring off planet. They took that and made real money with it.”

 

“Do you still have off planet business interests?”

 

“Some, but I’ve been consolidating our interests lately. I want to be liquid for now, but I’m opened to more ventures when...”

 

“The divorce is finalized. I get it.”

 

“I’m sure you do. Did Seri know about your family before you took her to your home?”

 

Len turned pink. “No. It didn’t seem pertinent.”

 

“It wasn’t. I was just curious. It helps that you both understand this type of responsibility.”

 

“At least she didn’t run away screaming.” Seri came out of the library with a candle stick in her hand.

 

“What are you two talking about.”

 

“Just you Peaches.”

 

“Great, just what I need.”

 

Jo came bouncing down the steps. “Turtle, Aunt Seri gave me a book to read to you. Would you like to go into the den, or do you want to go to bed?”

 

“Let’s go to the den. Daddy, I love you.”

 

Len picked up Jo. She looked sleepy. “I love you too baby. You’re my best girl.” He picked up the book from one of the piles and carried her into the den. They sat in a chair that could easily hold two adults. Jo cuddled into her dad’s chest as he opened the book. He began to read, “Many years ago…”

 

His little girl was enthralled with the story; she ran her fingers over the illustrations and looked up at her father. To Len this was heaven. His life with Seri, and his little girl in his arms was heaven. He owed all of this to Jim. One day he hoped to be able to repay the man who introduced him to the love of his life and forced him to call his ex. That phone call was the reason he now sat with his world listening to him read a book about a girl and a mukluk plant. Jim saved his life.

 

“Daddy,”

 

“You haven’t called me that in years.” Jazined was smiling.

 

“I wanted people to take me seriously. Daddy, are you sure about all of this?”

 

“I am. I never liked this place. When I was a kid the other kids said I lived in a mausoleum. Funny, in the end it was. I know this seems fast to you, but it doesn’t to me. Seri, I’ve been thinking about it for months. I got the figures from the government in the office. They really want this place. I won’t sell it to them, but renting it will create a decent amount of passive income. It’ll work well as a place to house visiting dignitaries.”

 

“You called me Seri.”

 

“That’s all you took away from my diatribe?”

 

She walked into the kitchen with her dad behind her. He sat at the island as she pulled out the tea and poured each of them a glass. “You’ve been thinking about this for months, it’s a mausoleum, good for housing dignitaries, great passive income. Did I miss anything?”

 

“Nope. And I like your nickname. Len offered his home to me as long as I want to stay there.”

 

“Dad, he and his family are the most welcoming people I’ve ever met. Well, not Ginny, but most of them. I think he missed having a decent father growing up, now he potentially has two men that can fill that void.”

 

“Ginny?”

 

“Len’s other sister. Don’t worry, she won’t be there.”

 

“I see your psych classes are paying off.”

 

“I don’t think you need to be a psychiatrist to see through those two.”

 

“Maybe not, but I have a feeling they aren’t like this at school.”

 

“No, they aren’t. Len can be an ass and Jim has the entire school thinking he’s an over sexed, perennial adolescent.”

 

“I can see them being like that.”

 

“It ensures no one gets too close. Sometimes their true natures come out. For instance, Len’s been taking care of a kid down the hall from him.”

 

“Why would he have to take care of a classmate?”

 

“The kid just turned fifteen.”

 

“Oh, that makes more sense.” They sat in the kitchen making plans for what should go to the museum and what should stay.

 

“Mother will be livid when she finally gets around to looking at the bank.”

 

“Don’t worry about that. I left quite a lot in the account. She’s entitled to a portion of the money that we made together. The prenup will take care of what I came into the marriage with, though I am sure she will try to break it.”

 

“Any half decent lawyer would. Can I assume it will be hard for her to do that?”

 

“Almost impossible. But it will be interesting to watch her try.” They heard the den door close. “We should get to bed.” He got up and kissed her on the forehead.

 

“Good night Daddy.”

 

Len walked into the kitchen. “Good night son.” Jaz left for bed and Len joined Seri.

 

“Jo went to bed.”

 

“She’s enjoying herself. She has a new friend.”

 

“Mmmhhmm.” His eyes were almost pure green as he towered over her. Long fingers tangled in her hair as he brought her to him. “I love you Seriana.”

 

Her hand lightly rubbed his arm. “I love you too Leonard, with all my heart.” He kissed her deeply bringing her into him. “Come with me. I want to show you something.”

 

“I don’t think there is anything I haven’t seen.” He pressed himself to her. She could feel how hard he had become.

 

“Not that. You know every millimeter of me. No, there’s a place I want you to see.” She walked him across the lawn to the boat. He rowed across the water to the island. Seri took his hand again and led him to the opening. “Listen.” They could hear the mukluk plants as they jingled in the moonlight. “I wanted to take you here. Isn’t it magical?”

 

He looked into her eyes. “It is. Come here.” He held her to him, her head tucked in under his chin. She was right, this place was magical. “Did you come here a lot as a child.”

 

“I came here a lot when I found out my mother hated it. I don’t think she would ever condescend to row a boat. I wanted to take you here before it all changed.” A breeze carried the honey smell of the plants across the couple.

 

“Seri, are you upset about your dad’s decision?” She had said she was alright with it, but Len knew it was still a change.

 

“No, I was never attached to this place, but there are some good things about it; the library, this place, the kitchen, my bedroom. The only things I loved were the people. Not mother or Celiasa obviously, but the rest of them. I can’t wait until you meet the twins. I don’t want to lose them.”

 

“You won’t, we’ll come to visit. They can always come to Earth. Seri, we’ll make it work.” He pulled back and gently ran the back of his hand down her cheek. “If you want, we could move to Betazed.” He wanted her to know the option existed.

 

“No, I prefer Georgia. Plus, you can’t be Lord of the Manor from here.” She had a sad smile on her face.

 

“I don’t need to be there. I need you.”

 

“And Jo; Len our life is on Earth, not here. And I really do prefer it there. This is just nostalgia talking. We have plenty of pictures and holos to remember the place. There is one thing I would like to do before we leave.”

 

“What is that Peaches?”

 

“I want to make love here. It is my place the way the pond is yours. I want one more memory here.”

 

Words weren’t necessary. He took her face in his hands as she ran her fingers up his arms. Softly he kissed her; gently his tongue ran over her bottom lip until she opened for him. The newness of being with her hadn’t worn off. Every touch held the excitement of the first time.

 

To Seri, Len was pure love and safety. When he held her, everything was perfect. Nothing could be wrong as long Leonard McCoy loved her. Her hands moved to the back of his neck as their tongues caressed. He moved his hands to the hem of her shirt. The kiss was broken as he pulled her shirt over her head. His eyes never left hers. He wanted to be in her in every way.

 

Seri pulled his shirt over his head. She ran her fingers down his chest. He was sculpted like the idealized statues they had seen in the museum. As handsome as he was, she found his soul to be even more so. He was what she dreamed a man could be. As a teenager she would see the men her sister would bring home. To her they weren’t men. Maybe that was because she gauged all men by her father, and none of the ones her mother deemed suitable ever measured up.

 

She wanted a partner, a friend, a lover. The man who looked at her over the PADD in the mess all those months ago, was more than she ever thought she would find. He was what she had dreamed of, whished for. Now he stood with her in the moonlight. Soon they would be completely naked, completely vulnerable. She undid his belt and pants. He unbuttoned hers and pulled them down her legs. He removed his pants and his shoes as she kicked her shoes to the side. Len stood in front of her.

 

They stood naked in front of the other. They were truly naked; their bodies and their souls lay bare in front of the other. He brought her to him. He took a couple steps closer to her. She could feel his breath as he moved his lips back to hers. They came together body and soul. She was all he wanted, all he needed. One day he promised himself he would be worthy of the love he saw in her eyes. They made love with the sounds of the mukluk surrounding them.

 

When he entered her, he felt her surround him. As her arms came around his chest her hands pulled him down closer to her. She wanted to feel all of him, to know he was completely hers. He slowly thrusted into her as he built her up. Seri could feel his cock hit her cervix. Len wanted to feel her cum. He needed to feel her pulse around him.

 

They were both moaning as they held tighter to each other. Her legs moved around him until her heels dug into his ass. The harder he thrust the harder she dug in. He wanted to get closer to her, but that was physically impossible. They were in each other’s souls. He still didn’t feel it was enough. They could never get close enough to satiate his desire.

 

Seri knew what he wanted. “Look at me.” He looked into her eyes. “I’m yours Imzadi, only yours. I want to be a part of you always.”

 

“Make love to me. I don’t want to have sex, I want to make love.”

 

“We have never had sex, we only make love. I want to feel you. I need to feel you.”

 

“I need you to cum. Seri, I need to cum. Agghh.” He continued to groan as he worked her closer to the edge. It wasn’t long before he thrust faster and harder. Her moans became louder as she felt him hit her g-spot and cervix. Len’s cock throbbed and swelled as they both started to shake. Their orgasms came simultaneously as she screamed and he moaned into her neck.

 

He continued to thrust until she was cumming again. Her legs locked around his hips as her heels dug in to his ass. Suddenly he screamed her name as he came again. It felt like an eternity before he could stop. He wanted to spend the rest of his life buried in her, and Seri would have been more than happy to let him. The couple lay in the grass entwined in each other. “Len, thank you.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” He leaned on his hands and looked down at her. “Every time we make love, I feel like I am in a dream. You never have to thank me, not for this.”

 

“You have given me a beautiful memory. This was better than the fantasy. You are better than any of my fantasies.”

 

“A grumpy, divorced, man, with a daughter?”

 

“Better than any fantasy.” She pulled him into a deep kiss. When they needed air, Len rolled off of her. They lay facing each other. Seri traced his hairline with her finger. “You aren’t really grumpy, and being divorced means nothing. As for Jo, she’s an amazing bonus. I have a daughter. You gave me that.”

 

A breeze wafted the mukluk perfume over the pair as they lay naked in each other’s arms. Over an hour passed before they got ready to leave. They dressed and walked hand in hand to the boat. It didn’t take long to get back to the house. The shower was relaxing, and coupled with the endorphins made it impossible to stay awake. They slept peacefully and deeply. They would need to wake early to get the packing done.

 

Jo woke early, took Shadow out, and went back to her room. She brushed her teeth, went to the bathroom, washed her hands, and brushed her hair. She didn’t know if she should leave Shadow with his siblings, or put him somewhere else. She threw on her work clothes then looked around the room. “Well buddy, what do you think? I want the dressing table and bed. I like the castle, and it was Aunt Seri’s. I don’t know what to do. Maybe we should wake up granddad. Let’s go!” Jo ran to Jaz’s room with Shadow on her heels.

 

She ran into the room and walked over to her granddad. He was still asleep. “Granddad, granddad.” Jo shook his arm until he opened his eyes.

 

“Good morning baby. You’re up early.” He sat up as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Jaz remembered the mornings he would try to sleep in, only to have Seriana jump onto the bed and start talking to him about what they had to do that day. That was when there was life in the house. Now it was back in the form of the green-eyed little girl in front of him.

 

“Shadow and I wanted to get started.”  She climbed up next to him on the bed. Shadow tried to jump up after her but couldn’t make it. Jaz reached down and scooped him up. The puppy snuggled down into the throw blanket at the end of the bed.

 

“Why don’t we do this? I still need to get cleaned up and get dressed. Why don’t you eat, feed Shadow, and take him out? I’ll meet you in the puppy room. We have to get the care boxes ready for the puppies when their parents come to get them. One already went home, but the rest have boxes with the basics they need and the vet information.”

 

He got out of bed and Jo took Shadow and climbed down. “I’ll meet you in the puppy room. Thank you, grandad.” She put the puppy down and gave him a hug around his waist. Jo left for the kitchen and her baby’s and her breakfast.

 

Jazined needed this. Until his daughter’s family came to his house, Jaz felt like he was drowning. He still wasn’t completely himself, but he did feel a little better. The four of them, especially the little one, had blown into his nightmare and brought a little sun to blot out the worst of it. He let the hot water wash over him. The shower couldn’t wash away the despair the way her giggles and squeals could.

 

It didn’t take him long to get cleaned and down to his newest granddaughter. She had finished breakfast and was in the puppy room. Jaz grabbed a cup of coffee, along with the boxes from the pantry, and brought them into the back room. All of the puppies came running to him. “Jo, come here. I have their things in these cabinets.”

 

Jo followed him to the cabinets that lined the side of the room opposite the windows. The middle ones were opened and he put the boxes the floor. “Granddad, what goes into the boxes? We need to make sure they have everything they need in their new homes.”

 

“Let me take these down for you to see.” He brought the boxes down from the shelves and placed them in front of her. They were filled with toys, leashes, collars, blankets, and puppy tools.

 

“We should put at least one toy in each box.” She moved her hands through the boxes, separating them to make it easier to grab them.

 

“I’ll leave you in charge of the toys, leashes, collars, and blankets. The tools are more of a grown-up thing. Jo, do you mind helping me with all of this? You don’t have to if you don’t want. I know you would rather be playing.” He sat on the floor with the box of tools, the other boxes spread out in front of him.

 

Jo sat next to Jaz. She could feel him, he felt like her daddy and Uncle Jim. One day, hopefully, she would come to know what the feeling meant. “Granddad, I like doing this. Uncle Jim let me play on the island, and we got to go riding. Now I want to help you take care of the puppies.”

 

To him she felt like her father, full of love and compassion. She was a lot like Len, even if he couldn’t see it. Jaz could feel all of them, but he could only read Jo’s thoughts. She was a truly happy little girl. Len loved her with all of his soul. He loved Seri just as much. His daughter had made friends with two men who loved with their all they were. He had never meant anyone like that before. It would take time for him to understand what having them in his life would mean. “Here is a marker. Put numbers on all of their collars. That way we can match the box to the puppy.”

 

Jo walked to the first one and put a one on the clear collar she was wearing. “Won’t this ruin them?”

 

“Don’t worry baby, it is what they are for. We need some way to identify them. I’ll put a number with their new family’s name on the box. That way they will all go home with the proper things. I also have a bag of food and a water bowl for each puppy. I’ll put the food by the front door.”

 

“No, I’ll do that.” No one had heard Jim enter the room, and Jaz had been too engrossed watching Jo to feel him.

 

“Thanks Jimmy. They’re in that cabinet.” Jaz pointed to the last cabinet at the opposite end of the room. “The other two seem to be sleeping in.” He winked at Jim.

 

“It’s still new for them.”

 

“I wish I could say I know what that feels like. Lenoxia was never a fan of… well you know.”

 

“I do. I could never understand that, but I know what you are talking about.” Jo was oblivious to the men’s conversation. She had each puppy marked and was portioning out the toys. Jim moved the bags of food to the front door. He came back and looked around. “I put all of the unopened bags there. When are they coming for them?”

 

“Today. They all commed that they have the crates and are ready. We can take Cordelia with us when we go to Earth. I don’t want Lenoxia to have any contact with her.” He didn’t know if his wife would take the dog. If she wanted to hurt him, that would definitely do it. “Jim, can we go through the house and mark what needs to go to the museum?”

 

“If I don’t have to play acrobat.” He looked genuinely concerned.

 

“Promise. Most of them are antiquities and art. Lenoxia will just sell it all. I want to leave things that have no value beyond what they cost.”

 

“Got it. I did alright in the Academy’s art appreciation course. Let’s see how many of the things I can identify without help.”

 

“Interesting game. Jo, I put the puppy tools and bowls in the boxes. Once you’re done, can you join us in the parlor?”

 

“Yep! Granddad?”

 

“Yes sweetie?”

 

“Do you want me to move the boxes to where the food is?”

 

“If they aren't too heavy. If they are, we can get them later. Also, please take the puppies and Cordelia to the outside playpen. That way they can go to the bathroom.”

 

“Alright, I’ve got this.” She walked to the outside door with all the puppies and Cordelia following close behind. The yard outside the door was fenced in for the use of the dogs.

 

Jim and Jaz went to the parlor. Jaz gave Jim a stack of stickers to place on the museum pieces. He watched the kid as Jim placed the stickers on the pieces that he believed should go. He was doing well, even if his head wasn’t completely on the task at hand. “Jim, what’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing, why?”

 

Jaz stopped what he was doing. “It’s alright, we don’t have to talk about it.”

 

“One day, when we know each other better. I’m not ready, not yet.”

 

“Trust me, that baby in there loves you very much.”

 

“I know. She is a lot like her dad.”

 

“She’ll love you forever. I can feel it. But it doesn’t take an empath or telepath to figure that out.”

 

“I just don’t want to hurt her. I can’t live through that again.” Jim didn’t realize what he said, and Jaz let it go. The kid wasn’t ready to let him in to that part of his mind, and Jaz would never push.

 

“I understand. You did good in here. We should get to the library before Seriana comes down.”

 

“I am not hanging from any more fucking ladders!”

 

“If she asks, you will.”

 

They walked to the library. “You’re right. I can’t say no to her, not since the day we met.” They were joined by Jo and Shadow when Len and Seri finally joined them. “Nice to see you.”

 

“Sorry Jimbo, we didn’t get to sleep until late.” He picked up Jo and gave her a kiss good morning. “Morin’ baby.”

 

“Good morning Daddy. Morning Aunt Seri. We got a lot done.” She was placed on the floor with the puppy.

 

Len scratched him and looked around. “What do you need us to do?”

 

“Well son, we are done the parlor and we already started in here. Why don’t you two go through the upstairs rooms and put these on the pieces for the museum?” He handed them a stack of stickers. “We’ll do the personal stuff after. The containers will be arriving this afternoon. The museum is sending a representative with movers to load their container.”

 

Seri had the stickers and was looking around the room. “That works. We’ll go through the upstairs. It shouldn’t take long.”

 

They ran up the stairs, while the other three completed the downstairs. “Peaches, is there a lot up here?”

 

“No, we keep most of the museum quality items downstairs. Mother used them to show off to guests. She is going to lose her mind when she comes to get her things. Dad hasn’t gotten the call yet.”

 

“What call?”

 

“When she goes to the bank, she is going to go insane.”

 

“I want to hear that.”

 

“Leonard!” They were laughing as she had him putting the stickers on all of the object that were above her head.

 

It took a little over two hours for them to finish. They came down to the other three giving the last of the puppies to their new parents. They families had gotten there as early as possible. All were excited about their new babies. In the end they would all have good lives. Jaz sold them to friends. He didn’t want his babies going to strangers. All of the families were told that if there were any problems, Jaz would have no problem taking the dog back. Jo kissed each one of them before she handed them to their parents.

 

Jim and Seri took Jo into town to pick up some food. Tachin was busy getting the books together for the government representatives to look over. They needed lists of what was included in the house; if she didn’t start now, it would take forever even with the lists they already had. She would edit them after Lenoxia took her things and Kachin bought additional furnishings.

 

The containers arrived early. Len took delivery then tracked down Jaz. He was in the kitchen looking out the back door. “Sir, the containers are here. Sir?”

 

He didn’t look at Len. “Do you ever wonder what your life would have been if you turned left instead of right?”

 

“Sometimes, I’m trying to stop. It doesn’t do any good. And if you turned left you would be who you are and you wouldn’t have Seri.”

 

“You’re right son. We should start marking the few things I want to take with me. Do you think Jo would mind sleeping in one of the other rooms tonight?” He hadn’t stopped looking out the door.

 

Len stepped in next to him and leaned against door jam. “I don’t think so. She is pretty easy going. What are you looking at?”

 

“My past.” He took a deep breath then turned to the younger man. “I’m not changing my mind, just reminiscing.”

 

Len pushed himself off of the molding. “I understand. I know you want to get this done. Do you want to stage everything in the entryway?” He wanted to keep the man moving forward.

 

“Sure.” They walked into the library and moved all of the books Seri picked to the staging area. The family pictures and paintings were placed on top of the book piles. “Give me a minute, I’m going to get some crates delivered. It should make this easier.” He messaged a moving company that promised delivery within the hour. They were paid and he rejoined Len in the library. Jaz grabbed a few more books for himself and a couple of the pieces Jim had marked for the museum. The stickers were removed as they were put with the rest of the objects in the piles.

 

“We should breakdown the furniture you want and move it directly to the container. It will be easier if we put the larger objects in first.”

 

“It will. Then we can fill in the gaps with the smaller things as we move forward.” They had Jo’s entire bedroom broken down and loaded before the crates arrived. It didn’t take long for them to pack the crates and load them as well.

 

Jim pulled up with the ladies and the food. “Sorry it took so long.” They grabbed the food and went straight to the kitchen. Everyone was starving and Jo needed to tell her daddy about the pretty trees she saw on the drive.

 

The museum people came while they were still eating. Jaz led them into the library and showed them the tagged objects. “Start in here. I need to take a look at the rest of what was tagged down here then you can take anything you want that is tagged.”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Targan. You know this means a lot to us and the people of Betazed?”

 

“You are most welcome. Please excuse my appearance, but we have been dismantling my granddaughter’s bedroom.” With that, Jo walked to Jaz and stood close to him. “Deidra, I want you to meet my granddaughter Joanna McCoy.”

 

Deidra extended her hand which Jo shyly shook. “Hello Miss Joanna. I know I look strange. I’m from Betazed, but my dad is from Andoria. So, I am a sort of sky-blue color. But I didn’t get the antennae like my brother.” She was smiling as Jo looked her up and down. She felt nice enough, but here was something else there.

 

Jaz looked his granddaughter knowingly. “Jo, why don’t you take Shadow to play out back.”

 

She could tell he was sending her away from the woman. “We can go in here.” He led her into the library. “I will send Seri in to help you.” Deidra seemed disappointed at the prospect of being policed, but when it came to the new assistant curator, Jaz had some trust issues. Not long after he mentally called her, Seri appeared in the library. She had hoped they wouldn’t send Deidra, but as long as she stayed with the kleptomaniac. Maybe she wasn’t exactly a klepto, but Seri didn’t’ trust her to stick only with the tagged pieces.

 

Jaz quickly looked at everything Jim had tagged and removed only a few on some paintings he wanted to keep. The kid had done an amazing job. It didn’t take long for the museum to remove everything they wanted. Deidra’s boss came towards the end to help with the paperwork. Concetta Troy was ecstatic with the items that were being put on loan. She shook all of their hands as the container was loaded on to the craft.

 

It didn’t take long for the adults to fill the other container with the things Jaz and Seri wanted. The guys dug out a half dozen of the mukluks that Seri pointed out and placed them carefully into special containers that fit under a table in the container. Len and Jim were filthy, sweaty and exhausted by the end. “Gentlemen, come with me. Seri, take my granddaughter to her bedroom and make sure she is ok with the room.” Seri followed her dad’s instructions. He wanted time with the guys.

 

They walked out to the garden. Jim fell into one of the chairs and Len collapsed into the other. Jaz sat down carefully, his legs hurt. “Mr. Targan, is there anything else we need to move?” Jim sounded exhausted and concerned.

 

“No, we’re done. They are picking the container up tomorrow morning. Len, I’m taking your offer and sending it to your farm. Seri gave me the address on Earth. Most of my clothes are in there, so luckily it will get there in three days.”

 

“I’ll let my mother know. She is use to surprises, but that showing up on her doorstep might get me killed. If not by her, then by Sarah.”

 

“Fuck! Sarah will kill both of us if she thinks she has to put all of that away.”

 

“Who is Sarah?”

 

Len smiled when he thought about who she was to him. “She is my non-biological little sister. She is as important to me as Callie. Sarah is currently our housekeeper, but I am going to make her the head of household staff.  If we buy the horse farm then I will need to bring on at least five or six people to help her. Plus, she’s pregnant. I don’t want her doing the lifting and bending. She says I’m overprotective, but I don’t care.”

 

“One day, Len and I are going to do something to really piss her off, and it won’t end well.”

 

“I joke a lot, but I have seriously put our friendship to the test, and she didn’t kill me then. I doubt she would do anything to Jim.”

 

“Probably not, but she still scares me.”

 

Jaz was laughing at both of them. “Well, she sounds sweet.” Len and Jim all but glared at the other man. “I don’t want to make more work for her.”

 

“It’s alright, she’ll be even more angry if you stay somewhere else.”

 

“Alright. I booked the shuttle for tomorrow. It doesn’t leave until afternoon.”

 

“I’ll let everyone know. Mama will be thrilled you are coming with us.”

 

Jim could tell Jaz was nervous. “I know exactly how you feel. I was nervous when we got to Len’s house, but I shouldn’t have been. We came to take care of Bones, but they ended up taking care of me. I found a home there, a place where I belong. Does Seri know we’re leaving tomorrow?”

 

“I told her mentally. The shuttle will take us to the transport. It is different than the one you took here. It will take seventy-two hours to get to Earth. The transport only has four cabin suites. The one I booked has four bedrooms and two bathrooms. There is room service and unlimited holos. They allow pets, and there is an area set up to take them for their walk. There aren’t many common areas, but I thought we could use this time to relax.”

 

“And get to know each other better?” Len understood what he wanted.

 

“Yes. We haven’t had much time to relax.”

 

“Also, it gets you out of here before your wife finds out about the bank.”

 

“So far, I’ve been lucky. She was always lazy. But she will get there in the next few days. I’ll most likely hear from her before we get to Earth.”

 

Len was laughing. “It will be more than frustrating when she finds you gone.”

 

“It will. She knows what she is entitled to from the house, and she can empty the account and the safety deposit box. I have everything recorded. It is documented that I left everything she was entitled to, nothing more.”

 

“Dad, we are with you. I know it feels like you are alone, but you aren’t. I’ve seen how she can be, and I know you have no problem handling her, but you still need support. You have it with all of us.”

 

“Thank you, my boy. It means a lot. I should go to bed. We need to be up early.” He walked slowly into the house.

 

Jim looked at Len. Bone’s eyes were half closed. “He will miss this place when he leaves. Don’t let him fool you. No matter how many bad memories it may hold, a house you lived in is still hard to leave.”

 

“I know.” He took a deep breath. “Let’s load this patio set into the container. It will be a nice surprise.”

 

“Alright, we should load the dog crates and beds into the craft as well.”

 

“And the dog food. We can at least get that done. I don’t think this was the visit he had in mind.”

 

“Neither do I. It was good that he had you around.”

 

“Because I’ve been there?”

 

“Bones, remember when we met? He is there. He is just better at hiding it.”

 

“And he wants out. I didn’t.”

 

“I know. Cal will be at the house when we get back. I got a message from her. Also, all of the furniture arrived. Sarah put it where it belonged.”

 

“Then we should leave it where it is. I joke, but she is an amazing decorator.”

 

“We should hurry then get to bed. Tonight, I would suggest you go to sleep and not play.”

 

“It’s hard to do. Pun intended.”

 

“That was bad.” They got up, grabbed the table and chairs then put them in the container. It didn’t take long to load the craft. Jim watched Len as he slowly drug himself up the stairs. “Hey old man, tomorrow we should do a final sweep of the house with Mr. Targan.”

 

“We will. I feel old. Fuck my back and legs hurt. I couldn’t play tonight if I wanted.”

 

Jim laughed as he ran past Len and to his room. Len went directly to his room. Seri was on the bed with a sleeping Jo. “She fell asleep telling me about everything she is going to show her granddad. Len, is he okay?”

 

“No, but he will be. He needs you to see him as your father, strong and in control. I wouldn’t want Jo to know how bad it got for me, not even when she is an adult.” He kissed his baby and picked her up. Seri grabbed Shadow and led them to Jo’s room. She pulled back the covers for him to gently lay her down. Shadow snuggled next to her and went back to sleep.

 

Len closed the door and turned to Seri. He looked serious. “What?”

 

“Peaches, I know I’ve asked this before, but are you alright with all of this.”

 

They walked back to the bedroom and closed the door. “With what? Dad moving? I don’t have a problem as long as it is what he wants.”

 

“No, me. I’m not the easiest of men. I come with a shit load of responsibility, not the least of which is that little girl in there.”

 

He sat on the bed and she stood between his legs. She took his head into her hands. “You need to stop doing this. I have no problem taking on all of your responsibilities with you. We are in this together. As for Jo, you know I love her. She is a part of you.”

 

“She is the best part of me.”

 

“I love everything about you, even the things I don’t like.” She was smiling.

 

“I know I’m being paranoid.”

 

“You sent too long being told you weren’t worth much and no one would want you. It will take awhile to understand that isn’t true.” She kissed his lips. We should get washed and get some sleep. We’ll need to be ready to leave right after lunch.”

 

They went into the bathroom and stripped. They washed each other slowly, lovingly. It hurt Seri to know that the man she adored had such a low opinion of himself. One day maybe, just maybe he would see what she saw. For now, she was content to sleep in his arms.


	61. chapter 61

Jim didn’t get up right away. He heard Len and the women leave before he got out of bed. Mama had left a sandwich in the refrigerator for her younger son. He grabbed it, threw on his barn coat, and started the hike to the horse farm. The stables needed to be checked. Jake had sent reports on three new stables that were built behind the homes. He wanted to see them and the new breeding stock. He wanted to lose himself in the mundane.

 

Evan’s bridge between the original farm and the horse farm had been a godsend. Normally he would drive there, but maybe the cold air would help clear his head. Rusty was waiting for him when he entered the stables. The horse began to throw his head. “Hi Rust. I missed you too. Tomorrow we’re going for a long ride, just the two of us. Well, maybe Jules will join us.” He started to scratch the stallion’s neck. “I did something you may not approve of, but it won’t change things with us. Cal and I are getting married. I know, you told me to keep an eye on her. But this way I can do that.” Jim took Rusty out of the stall, tethered him, and started to brush his buddy.

 

The horses all had their winter coats. It would take longer to brush out the dirt. “Hey Jimmy, your friend has been waiting for you.” Jake picked up a curry brush and started on the horse’s other side.

 

“Yeah, I have been negligent.” Jim wasn’t talking about the horse and Jake knew it. Jim’s thoughts were all over the place, he always got this way when he was hurting. The older man had been waiting for Jim to come to him. This was as good as it was going to get.

 

Jake understood Jim, he understood his fears. He wanted his friend to trust him with all of the pain and fear he had been trying to push down. “Have you?” He didn’t take his eyes from the horse.

 

“Yeah, I have.” Jim finished with Rusty’s coat. “I need to muck out the stalls.”

 

“I’ll help. Most of them are done, we only have Rusty and Jeb’s.” Jake took the wheel barrow over while Jim grabbed the manure forks. The stalls were cleaned late the night before, so they weren’t that dirty. It didn’t take long to muck out both stalls. Jim continued to hide in his head. Jake went to the office fridge and grabbed a couple of beers. This was going to take a while.

 

Over the years Jim had become as close to Jake as he was to Spock. “Are you sure these are the only two stalls?”

 

Jake handed Jim a beer. “Jimmy, we’re done. You need to stop it.”

 

“Stop what?”

 

“Let’s go back to the house.” Jim followed him to the porch. “The kids are at the Chandler’s today. They’re cutting down their tree. It’s just us.” They sat in the large rocking chairs on the right side of the porch. “Jimmy, talk to me.”

 

“Jimmy, no one sees him. No one knows Jimmy. They all want Captain Kirk. He’s their hero. Jimmy died years ago.” He took a long swig from the bottle as he looked toward the brick farm house.

 

“Hmmm, I didn’t know that. We didn’t get any notification for the funeral. We would have come, said something nice. You know, lied.”

 

Jim continued to look forward. “It would have been a lie. Thanks for coming to Pavel’s funeral.”

 

“Really? Come on.  Jim, this is bullshit and you know it. Knock it the fuck off.”

 

“What do you want me to say? It isn’t bad enough that I got one of my friends killed and destroyed another one, now I have to go to Atlanta and talk to a bunch of fucking reporters. I’ve read the stories.”

 

“So have I. What’s bothering you? Novel as it is, they aren’t eviscerating any of you.”

 

“They should be going after me. I fucked up.” He finished the beer.

 

“Yeah, I’m not buying it. And I apologize.”

 

“For what?”

 

“I took the cross down a couple of weeks ago. If I had known you needed it, I would have left it up.” Jake wanted to piss Jim off. Anger was a better emotion than guilt or self-hatred.

 

“I don’t need to fucking nail myself to anything.”

 

“Metaphorically you’re doing a good job. Jim, I wasn’t kidding. Talk to me.”

 

“I don’t know what the fuck to say.” He looked at Jake for the first time that afternoon. “I killed him. I didn’t do it literally, but it is my fault. I did it. Have you taken a good look at Len? He will never be the same, never.” He looked at the floor. “Never.”

 

“You’re right about Lenny. But he will recover. You know you aren’t God.”

 

“Yeah, but they expect me to be.”

 

“Who does?”

 

“They do; all of them.” He got up and walked off the porch.

 

Jake followed close behind. “Who is all of them?”

 

“You know, everyone.”

 

“Everyone? I doubt that there is one person on any of these farms that feels that way. We know you. We know Jimmy.”

 

Jim turned to Jake, they were less than six inches apart. He growled through his teeth. “But they don’t know Captain Kirk.”

 

“Yeah, we do. Neither of you is perfect. What did you think, that you would take command, grow up, and have all the answers?”

 

“I FUCKED UP! ME, JIMMY, CAPTAIN KIRK, WHOEVER THE FUCK I AM, I FUCKED IT ALL UP!”

 

“That’s it.” Jake pulled Jim to him, he wouldn’t let his friend breakaway. “Jim, it wasn’t your fault. I know you want to blame yourself, but it wasn’t your fault. There is no one left to fight. You need to let it go.”

 

Jim clung to Jake’s shirt. “I want them all dead. I need to eliminate all of them.” The tears had started.

 

“And that will make you feel better?”

 

“Yes, no, I don’t know. I want it to stop. It’s Kallie all over again. It’s Kallie.” He was all but yelling through the tears.

 

Jake put his hand behind Jim’s head and kept the other arm firmly around his shoulders, as he held his friend through the pain. “No, it isn’t. You can’t bring her into this. You didn’t make that decision on Mylus. Don’t put that on yourself.” Jake let Jim cry until he couldn’t anymore. He cried for Kallie, he cried for Pavel, he cried for Len; ultimately, he cried for himself. “Come with me.” Jake steered Jim to the stables. He didn’t want the children coming home and finding their uncle the way he was. They wouldn’t understand and it could scare them. “Let’s sit in here.” The tack room had overstuffed couches and a large fireplace. Jim sat on the brown leather couch as Jake lit the kindling.

 

Jim was numb. He saw his entire life in his head. All of the mistakes and failures were there. “I can’t do this.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Be Captain Kirk. I just can’t keep up the farce.”

 

“You don’t have a choice, and it isn’t a farce. You are Jimmy and you are Captain Kirk.” He sat next to Jim. “I know, you know I know, everything about you. I also know that you haven’t made peace with your past. I’m not stupid, I know you saw Kallie as well as Pavel when that casket lowered into the ground.”

 

“And Len, it could have been Len as well. You know that.”

 

“From what I’ve heard that wasn’t their goal, but I see your point. Is that what scares you?”

 

Jim had to think about it. He continued to rub the tears that continued to form. His voice was a whisper. “Yes. He was the first person who ever loved me. I didn’t have a family until I had Len. My aunt and uncle loved me I guess, so did Kallie, but I always felt it was conditional with them. Not with Kallie, but she was a baby. She never saw who I was. Len saw it all. He saw me at my worst and still loved me. I want the best for him. He deserves it.”

 

“Jim, he’s safe.”

 

“For now. Jake look at his eyes. Part of him died. We buried that part of him.”

 

“And a part of you. I noticed that part of you is in the ground as well. Jim, you haven’t taken the time you need to take to come to terms with all that happened. I know you’ve started, but it’ll take time. I’m here for you, and no matter what you think of yourself, know there are people here that know you completely and love you with all we have. I understand your fear, I do. For now, for right now, he’s here, and he’s safe. He needs you.”

 

Jim looked at Jake. He was right, Len needed him and he needed Len. “You’re right, I know that. And somedays I feel that, but not today.”

 

“I understand. The days like today will become fewer and fewer as the days go on.”

 

“I don’t want to hate anymore. I feel as if I’m turning into Krall. The hate, sometimes I can’t see past the hate.”

 

“You aren’t Krall. You have a family and we won’t let you give into the hate. You have too much love in you to turn into Krall. You always have our support.”

 

The tears had finally stopped. “I know. Some days are just hard. I can’t lean on Len, and Seri has to be exhausted. Cal is always there, but I don’t want to lean on her too much.”

 

“I don’t think that’s possible. You can talk to Len, and I think you should. I’ve watched you two tip toe around things in the past. Don’t do it now.”

 

“We’ve talked, sort of.”

 

“I’m sure. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk some more. You two need to sit down and go over how you both feel. All of it Jim, even Kallie, even your father. Len can handle it.”

 

“Are you sure? Because I’m not.”

 

“He can also lean on you, tell you what is under all of the pain. You know it isn’t just Pavel.”

 

“David?”

 

“David, failure, fear; I know him well enough to know it’s all there.”

 

“I’ve been too self-absorbed to see it.”

 

“Don’t do that. You’ve been drowning theses past days. There is no way you would see what’s going on with him.”

 

“Seri made appointments for us with a couple of counselors after the wedding.”

 

“Might not be a bad idea.”

 

“Don’t tell her, but it is a good idea. We both need help confronting this.”

 

“Among other things.” Jim squinted his eyes at Jake. “I’m not wrong.”

 

“But I don’t have to be happy about the observation. What are the kids up to tonight? I need to speak with my niece.”

 

“Nice subject change. They’ll be home in a few hours. We could bring them over for dinner, or you can come here.”

 

“What ever is easiest, but you don’t have to feed me.”

 

“Don’t say that to Sarah. Why don’t you come over around four? You can have some time with them, then we can eat. Jim, I mean it, call me anytime. I want you to understand that I am here for you, no matter what.”

 

“I do, believe me, I do. Thanks, I may need to take you up on it.”

 

“Good luck by the way.”

 

“With what?”

 

“You’re marrying Cal. You are a braver man than me.”

 

“I don’t know about that, you married Sarah.” Jim laughed as Jake smiled. “She scares me.”

 

“She isn’t that scary, and she loves you very much.”

 

“I love her too. I kept the picture of all of us on my cabin wall. I had a couple of women ask who she was. I think they were jealous.”

 

“Was that the picture where you had picked her up?”

 

“Yes, I love the way we all look.”

 

“Who did you tell them she was?”

 

“I just said she was my sister. It shut them up. Christine Chapel was the only one smart enough to realize I only had a biological brother. I told her this was the family I had made for myself. She was happy for me.”

 

“At least she doesn’t hate you.” Jake laughed at the memory of some of the stories Jim told about the women he had at the Academy and after. The fact that the stories stopped after Kahn wasn’t lost on Jake. “Did you want Rusty tacked today?”

 

“No, I’m going riding tomorrow. Don’t bother anyone, I’ll tack him myself. I missed him these past few years.”

 

“He missed you as well. We started breeding Appaloosas and Friesians since the last time you were here. I need you to take a look. We have bred Rusty and Maggie is going to foal soon. We have several of them in the stables with the Arabians. The Friesians are with the Percherons. I hope you approve of the arrangements.”

 

 “I do. I’m glad you bred Rusty again. He’s a solid horse.”

 

“Jo wants to keep the colt. I told her it was okay, that we would sell the next one.”

 

“Softie.”

 

“You’re no better.”

 

“I’m worse. She is coming with us when the Enterprise leaves.”

 

“I knew you would say yes.”

 

“Can’t say no to my nieces. I still remember the day Jules was born. You were a wreck.” Jim was laughing at the memory as Jake turned pink.

 

“I am better now. I was okay at the next birth.”

 

“Gwen would have kicked you out of the room if you weren’t.”

 

“True.”

 

“She looks like you.”

 

“But petty like her mother.”

 

“Yes, thank God for that. Don’t worry, I’ll take her to school when it starts. That should keep the kids quiet. At least if they still bully her, I can let her know it’s because they’re jealous.”

 

“Thank you. She didn’t want to go back.”

 

They heard the kids being dropped off. “You need to see to them. I’ll be back at four, don’t worry. Jake…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Thank you. I needed today.”

 

“You never have to thank me for this. This is what family is for.”

 

“I know, but thank you anyway.”

 

Jim watched through the stable door as Jake herded Jules and JG into the house. The walk back to the house was faster than the one to the stables. He saw Evan’s craft pull away as he cut through the pecan trees. Len was in the den when Jim found him. “I saw Evan leaving.”

 

Len was sitting in one of the wing back chairs facing the fire. “I told him about the idea of the merger. He is going to talk it over with Joce.”

 

“What merger?”

 

“Yeah, we need to talk. Right now, I’m beat, and you look like something the cat wouldn’t drag in.”

 

“It isn’t my best day. I’m meeting Jules and JG at their house at 16:00. I can get a shower in before then.”

 

Len stood up You definitely need one. Don’t let Sarah or Mama catch you with those boots in this room.”

 

“Oh Shit!”

 

“Exactly.” Len stood up to walk with Jim up the stairs.

 

“Bones…”

 

“Ummm?”

 

“Can we talk soon?”

 

Len knew this was coming. If Jim hadn’t broached the subject, he was going to have to do it. “We need to. We should do it soon.”

 

“Tonight?”

 

“Sure Jimbo, tonight.” They each went into their bedrooms, Len to take a nap and Jim a shower.

 

Jim enjoyed the shower. They had remodeled the bath years before, he structured it like the one he used that first time on Betazed. After he was sure he no longer smelled like manure he stepped out of the shower and toweled off. With a towel wrapped around his waist, Jim stared at himself in the dressing mirror. Who the hell was he? Fucked if he knew.

 

He dressed and drove to Jake and Sarah’s. Sarah and the gang weren’t home yet, but he was sure he and Jake could take care of feeding the kids. No one on the two farms knocked, family didn’t need to do that. Jim punched in the code and walked in. He hadn’t even closed the door when JG jumped into his arms and Jules wrapped her arms around his waist.

 

“Hey Jimmy! Kids, give your Uncle Jim a break.” Jim gave both kids a kiss as he put JG down. “Get yourselves cleaned up, and get to the table. Uncle Jim and I will make you some spaghetti.”

 

They both ran up the stairs to their rooms. “So, spaghetti? Think we can handle it?”

 

“I don’t think we’ll burn down the house. How are you doing?”

 

“Better now that I got my kisses.”

 

Jake looked serious. “Jim, how are you doing?”

 

“Not great. Today helped. Len and I are talking tonight.”

 

“And you’re scared.”

 

“Yeah, the great Captain Kirk is scared of a conversation.”

 

Jake filled a pot with water, threw in some salt and put it on the stove to boil. He took a jar of homemade sauce and put it into the smaller pot to warm. It gave him time to think threw what he wanted to say. “You need to stop doing that to yourself.”

 

“What?”

 

“Defining yourself solely by your job. It isn’t all you are. You can be scared and hurt.”

 

“You’re right. I’m scared.”

 

Jake threw the pasta into the boiling water and stirred. “It is just Lenny.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Let’s sit over here.” They sat at the kitchen table. The kids ran in. “Jules, can you show your brother how to properly set the table in the dining room?”

 

“Yes daddy. Come on JG.” They went giggling into the dining room.

 

“You didn’t have to make it formal.”

 

“I know, but it gives us time to talk. What are you afraid of?”

 

Jim thought, what was he so afraid of? “I don’t want him to tell me what I already know.”

 

“And that is?”

 

“I should never have been made captain. I fuck everything up. That he thought about it and he isn’t happy his sister is marrying me. Things like that.”

 

“So, nonsense, got it.”

 

“It isn’t.”

 

“No, it is. Trust me, it is.”

 

Jake dumped the pasta into the colander as Jim stirred the sauce. The pasta was put into the large bowl. Jim put the sauce over the pasta and stirred it in. Jimmy, here he was Jimmy. “Daddy, We’re ready.”

 

“Okay baby. Uncle Jim and I will be in, in a minute.” Jim carried the bowl into the dining room. Dinner was fun. The brother and sister spent the entire dinner telling their uncle about everything they had done for they past year. In the end Jim promised to teach JG how to use a bow and arrow. He had gotten one for his birthday and he and his dad had just started taking it out.

 

“JG, it will be fun. Maybe later you, your dad, and I can go bow hunting. Uncle Len says there are too many deer and the herd needs thinning.”

 

“Thank you, Uncle Jim. It will be fun!” JG looked so happy. Jim knew he wouldn’t be able to get a deer, but that really wasn’t what it was about. It was about spending time together. “Do you think Uncle Len would come with us?”

 

“I’m sure he will. We can go after Christmas. Jules we can go riding if you want. I promised Rusty I would take him out tomorrow. Want to come?”

 

The little girl lit up. “Really?! Can we?!”

 

“I’ll get you after lunch if it’s okay with your dad.”

 

“She’s all yours.” They spent the rest of the time cleaning up and listening to the kids talk about all the things they were going to do with their uncle. Jake smiled at the tableau as he looked into the kitchen from the dining room. Jim had a genuine smile on his face as he helped load the dishes into the dish washer. Jules was telling him all about riding her pony Lemon. He was younger than Ollie and loved to gallop.

 

For now, just for now, Jim was at peace with himself. It wasn’t permanent, but Jake took solace in the fact that at least it existed. One day he knew his friend would find the peace he deserved. As they finished Sarah walked in, gave them all a kiss and walked to the den. She would eat after Jim left. For now, she was happy that she didn’t have to cook or clean.

 

Jim kissed the kids and walked to the front door with Jake behind him. He put his hand on the door knob then stopped. “Jake, thanks for everything.”

 

Jake put his hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Anytime, I mean that Jimmy, anytime at all. I’ll keep my comm on.” Jim turned and gave him a hug then left for home. Cal would be there.

 

Len was tired but not sleepy. Sarah had the rooms decorated while he was out with Evan. She had them put his stuffed toy fox from when he was a little boy on the mantel of the sitting area fireplace. He stroked Reddy’s back. The stuffed animal had very little fake fur left on it. He took it everywhere when he was little, Mama had to wash mud off of him more than once. He thought his dad had thrown it out, but Sarah’s mom must have put it away.

 

There was a large tree in the sitting area, and a tall but thinner one in the bedroom. The white lights shown with an almost golden hue. The tree in the bedroom was decorated with the ornaments from his grandmother’s Christmas bins and the one in the living area was decorated with the ornaments he had made as a child. They must have been in the basement bins. One day he needed to look at the bins in the holiday room, God only knew what was in there.

 

The rooms smelled like pine. She even had cedar pine garland wrapped around the bed posts. He would have to look at the other bedrooms before the wedding. The PADD was blinking on the coffee table. Len sat on the couch in the living area and took a look at the messages. “Fuck. Those assholes.” Kyle, Rory, Owen and Tucker had all messaged. They were organizing the annual football game. He had forgotten about it. He messaged back that it would have to be done on the twenty-second. He would need time to fix any cuts or bruises before the wedding. Seri would kill him if he was a mess for the wedding pictures.

 

The PADD was tossed back onto the table as he turned on the fireplace. The couch was as comfortable as the day it was delivered almost ten years before. He shifted until his feet were on the couch. Quickly he took off his shoes before Seri or Sarah caught him. The fire lulled him into a lite sleep. Soft lips kissed his forehead before her cheek touched his.

 

“Hi Peaches, want to join me?”

 

“Umhmm.” She hugged him from behind before she walked around to the front of the couch. Seri climbed over his legs and snuggled under his arm with her head under his chin and on his chest. “How was your day?”

 

“Interesting, and it’s about to get even more so. How was yours?”

 

“Well Babe, did you know I was going to be a bride?”

 

“I had heard. Did you have a good time?”

 

“I did. Rose is sweet. I’m not suppose to tell you what the gowns look like, Cal said it would ruin the surprise. Also, you aren’t allowed to see me in it until I walk down the aisle. But you can help me into the one for the reception after the pictures are done.”

 

“I would rather help you out of it. Are we still upholding the Betazoid tradition between the ceremony and the reception?”

 

His arm was pulled down and her fingers entwined with his. “I think that could be arranged. Your PADD is blinking.” The PADD was blinking again.

 

“I am ignoring them. The guys want to have their annual holiday football game.”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“Don’t worry, I told them it had to be on the twenty-second that way I’ll look all pretty for the pictures.”

 

“Just don’t break anything.”

 

“I won’t. We may have to modify some of the rules this year.”

 

“Plus, I want Spock on your team.”

 

Len was laughing. “Yeah, if I get him and Evan the farm team can’t lose.”

 

“Alright, let me guess, this was Rory’s idea.”

 

“No, Kyle’s. He and Tucker really want this.”

 

“You said the day was going to get more interesting. What did you mean?”

 

“Jim wants to talk.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I know we need to, but I’m not sure what he is going to say.”

 

“He’s lost right now. Len, he needs his big brother. Are you alright with this?”

 

“I am. Evan really helped today. He likes the idea of the merger, though he thinks we should include Jim as well.”

 

“He is right. Jim has put his heart into this place, and now he’s marrying your sister.”

 

“God help him.”

 

“He has helped build what this family is. He should have a part in it.”

 

“I wanted to talk sooner, but I think it may all have to wait until after the wedding. I want his head clear when we talk.”

 

“How clear is yours?”

 

“Today, clear; tomorrow, who knows.”

 

“Well, lets do it on a clear day. You know you smell really good?”

 

“Like what?” Len knew he hadn’t put on any cologne.

 

“You smell like the winter breeze and you.”

 

He brought his other arm around to cradle Seri. “You smell like you. God, I love you.”

 

“I love you too sweetie. I know how hard this has been for you, and I know how hard it will be, but babe I want you to know how proud I am of you.” Just then there was a knock at the door.

 

“Come in.”

 

The door opened slowly. The room was lit only by the fireplace. It was hard to see them on the couch.  “I’m sorry, I’ll come back later.”

 

Seri got up and moved off of the couch. “No, you stay, I need to grab something to eat.” She gave Len a quick kiss and left through the bedroom.”

 

“Hey kid.” Len moved his legs to give Jim a place to sit, but the younger man was too nervous to sit.

 

“Hey.” He walked to the fireplace and leaned an arm on the mantel. The flames jumped, Evan had played with all the “gas” fireplaces. Years before Evan had complained that the gas fireplaces didn’t look enough like real wood fires. He spent a few months tweaking every one of them in all of the family homes until anyone would be hard-pressed to tell the gas from the wood. There were times Jim swore he could smell the smoke.

 

Len never took his eyes from Jim. The kid looked scared, lost. As clichéd as it sounded, it broke Len’s heart to see him that way. Quietly he got up and made his was over to the fireplace.  He stood facing Jim. “This is a first.”

 

“What is? I’ve been quiet before.”

 

“Maybe, but you’ve never been afraid of me.”

 

“I’m not afraid of you.” He still stared at the flames.

 

“You’re right. I meant afraid to talk to me.”

 

“I was afraid to tell you about Cal and me.”

 

A soft smile came across Len’s lips. “You’re right, but that wasn’t the same. That was kind of funny.” His expression became serious again. “This isn’t.”

 

“You’re right. Bones I…I just don’t…fuck it.”

 

“Ok, lets sit down. Lights fifty percent.” He walked to the couch, Jim mindlessly followed. This wasn’t going to be easy. Jim was lost in his own head; time to use his psychology degree. Then he looked into his brother’s eyes. Fuck the degree, he didn’t need a doctor, not today. “You know you never have to be afraid to talk to me?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Jim, I mean it. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“You and your daughter sound a lot alike. I told her about Tarsus IV, all of it.” He was looking directly at Len. Jim wanted to gauge all of the man’s reactions. “I know I shouldn’t have. I get that. I just needed to…I don’t know. I should have lied, told her anything but that.”

 

“How did she react?”

 

“She held my hand, brushed away my tears, and told me she loved me, that she would always be with me.”

 

“Then I would say it was successful.”

 

“You’re not angry.”

 

“No, if she is old enough to really ask the question, she is old enough for the answer.” Even with the lights turned up, the reflections of the flames shown in their eyes. Len was determined to not let Jim look away. “That can’t be what’s bothering you.”

 

“No, it isn’t. It was a little. I’m…I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?” He could see the fear ratcheting up in his friend’s eyes. “Tell me. You’re safe. I promise you, with me you’re safe.”

 

“But you’re not safe with me. At work it’s my job to keep you safe. I did a fucking piss poor job of that. You were right. On Mylus, you were right, but I didn’t listen to you. I had my orders, and I’m Captain Kirk, so I always know what to do. Captain Kirk should have seen it coming. I should have listened to you. Fuck my orders, I should have listened to my senior officer on scene. But I was too arrogant to listen; too goddammed stupid to think that maybe our intelligence wasn’t thorough. I turned out to be exactly what Pike said I was.”

 

“And what was that?” As much as he wanted to tell Jim that none of it was his fault, that he wasn’t the arrogant child Pike had lectured, he knew it was better if Jim arrived at the conclusions for himself.

 

“An arrogant child who wasn’t ready for command. I didn’t earn the chair and didn’t deserve it. He was right you know? I am arrogant. I still take too many risks. Maybe I should step down, give the command to Spock. He would be good you know? He is careful.”

 

“Too careful at times, though he is getting better. And you are arrogant, but you stopped being a child after Kahn; actually, during Kahn.”

 

“I don’t know about that.”

 

“I do. You need to have some measure of arrogance to be a captain; also, you can’t play it safe all the time. At times playing it safe can get everyone killed. Remember Nero? How about when you died?  I was wrong on Mylus. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have questioned you. Given the intelligence you made the right choice. In the end it didn’t work out, but you did the right thing.”

 

“If I had done the right thing Pavel would be alive and you wouldn’t be destroyed.”

 

“First of all, I’m not destroyed. Secondly, hind sight is always twenty-twenty. I’m about to sound like George and Jaz; did you learn anything from what happened?”

 

“You do an infuriately good impression of them. I will never separate a group the way I did. I will never trust intelligence I haven’t had gathered by my personnel, or gathered myself.”

 

“Alright. Then take that and grow. You know I would suck as a captain?”

 

“I don’t think so. You’re careful, methodical. You wouldn’t be as reckless as me, you don’t have it in you.”

 

“No, I don’t. I don’t take risks. That is why I couldn’t be in command. I can take a risk in the OR where I’m completely in control. But on the bridge where you are never in control of everything but need to be in control of the outcome…I can’t take the risks necessary to command.”

 

“You have done it here. You could do it on a ship. You aren’t reckless.”

 

“Neither are you. But I don’t take risks here. All of that is you. You’re the reason we’ve expanded as much as we have. You helped me take the risks necessary to buy the Tyler farm, and you were responsible for getting me to buy the Peretti property. Even if I had bought it, I probably would never have put sheep on it. Now, it seems, we have woolen mills who want what we have been producing these past years. No, the risk taking is all you.”

 

“You can’t tell me you never blamed me for this.”

 

“Never.”

 

Jim’s look hardened. “Don’t lie to me. I can’t have you lie. I need to be able to trust you.”

 

“I’m not. I’ve never lied to you, even when the truth was the last thing you wanted to hear.” Len’s facial expression didn’t change.

 

“Then explain the transporter room.”

 

“Excuse me? I don’t understand what you mean.”

 

“You wouldn’t look at me. You couldn’t look me in the eye for days.”

 

“Jim, I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. When we materialized, all I could see was Seri. I needed her, but I didn’t want her to see into me, didn’t want her to know what I had done.”

 

“You mean what I made you do. I put you in that position.”

 

“No, the Mylans put me in that position. The Mylans did this to all of us. I never blamed you. You need to stop blaming yourself. Let yourself off the hook. With the knowledge you had at the time, you couldn’t have prevented what happened. You need to stop this.”

 

“How? Tell me how? Bones tell me how to not know what I know.”

 

“What do you know? That you were given inadequate information? That Starfleet screwed us all? Because that’s what I know. Do I think they did it on purpose? No. But they weren’t cautious enough. That means in the future we need to look at everything their intelligence sends us with a skeptical eye.”

 

Jim continued to look at Len. He was thinking through everything the man had said. Maybe he was right, maybe this wasn’t preventable given the man he was a month before. Was he the same man now? That was the question that plagued him. Who was he? He needed an answer from Len, because he was out of answers. “Maybe you’re right. I need your help with something.”

 

“Anything.”

 

“Can you tell me who I am, cause I sure as fuck don’t know. Am I Jimmy, or Captain Kirk?”

 

“You’re both. You have been both since Kahn. You want to know something?”

 

“What?”

 

“I know them both pretty well, and I love them both; I trust them both.”

 

Jim’s expression changed into something Len couldn’t easily read. “I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear this. You have your own problems.” He started to stand up.

 

Len knew he needed to keep Jim in the room. The young man needed a big brother. He needed someone to see who he really was and help him see it for himself. “Don’t leave. Jim, I need to hear this, and more than that you need me to hear it.”

 

“No, you don’t.” He started toward the door. Len jumped up, blocking his way to the door. “Get out of the way.” Len took a step toward Jim. “Get the fuck out of the way.”

 

Len took another step toward Jim. They were only a few inches apart. “No.”

 

Jim shoved Len hard into the wall. “I said get away.”

 

Len needed to make sure Jim didn’t leave. The man needed to stop running, he needed to stop hiding. Len quickly slid from the wall to the door.  He blocked Jim’s exit, and could get to the bedroom before his friend could. “No. You want me to blame you. You want me to hate you. You want me to mirror how you feel about yourself. That isn’t going to happen. Jim, you’re hurting and confused. You’ve been losing yourself for the past couple of years. Mylus brought it all to the front again. All the self-doubt, all of the self-hatred, is there. This isn’t about Pavel, and it isn’t about me.” Jim came closer. His eyes were that of a cornered animal. Len never averted his eyes. He challenged Jim. “Go ahead, hit me. Come on, you want to. Do it.” He had been waiting for this. Jim had a habit of turning all passionate reactions into anger. It was the emotion he fell back on since childhood. It was the one he understood.

 

“Don’t push me.”

 

“Why not? Fucking hit me if it will make you feel better. Go ahead.”

 

Jim tensed, his hands balled into fists. Then a look came over his face. He turned away from Len and walked to the fireplace. Len let out his breath. He had taken a calculated risk, if Jim had lost control, he would have done serious damage. As strong as the doctor was, the captain was more so. It would have gotten ugly if Jim had landed a punch. “Len…”

 

Len walked to the fireplace, he was standing next to Jim. He saw the tears that streaked the man’s cheeks. The pain of the past couple of years was starting to break through. He took Jim into his arms, held him close as he placed one hand behind his friend’s head. “It’s alright. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. Don’t worry, no one knows but me. No one knows about these past couple of years. I’m here.” He could feel his shoulder getting wet as Jim let go.

 

Suddenly he let go of Len and walked to the bedroom. It wasn’t long before Len could hear a retching noise coming from his bathroom. Slowly he followed, grabbed a glass from the dresser and filled it with water. By the time he got it to the bathroom Jim was leaning against the shower stall. His head was tilted back. Len lowered the glass in front of Jim. “I’m sorry Bones.”

 

“Take this.” Jim took the glass. “You should rinse your mouth.”

 

“You’re pissed.” Jim rinsed his mouth then spit into the toilet. He leaned back exhausted.

 

Len sat on the floor next to him. “No. Jim, I’m not pissed.”

 

“I wish you were.”

 

Len chuckled. “I know. You need to let yourself off the hook about all of it. I don’t mean just Pavel and me. I mean us, Gaila, Pike, your dad, all of them. You need to stop it.”

 

“Sure, that’s easy. I’ll just stop.”

 

“Funny, you know what I mean.”

 

“You know we’re going to be brothers-in-law.”

 

“Yeah. Jim, I never regretted that shuttle flight. You saved me. You made me call Joce and you introduced me to Seri. I owe you my world for those things. Jo, god, Jo is who she is because of all of us. You helped make her who she is. That is the Jim I know. You gave your life to save all of us. If you hadn’t done that none of us would be here. Actually, none of us would be here if you hadn’t taken the risks you did with Nero. You have tempered the impulsivity but you haven’t lost yourself. I know right now you feel lost. Jim we all go through that. I did that summer. Hell, I did that entire first year at the Academy. I guess now it’s your turn.”

 

“Great. I wouldn’t have hit you.”

 

“I know that. How are you feeling.”

 

“Lost, confused, but better. I’m sorry. I know you’re hurting. You didn’t need this.”

 

“I had my time with Evan. I am doing better for now. Don’t worry, I’ll be fucked up later.”

 

“Good, I need the company. Maybe the therapy idea wasn’t a bad one?”

 

“No, I think the little shit may be right about that. We don’t want too many more days sitting on bathroom floors.”

 

“Not without alcohol involved.” The tension had all but cleared. Jim had just needed to get it out, to say what he had been feeling for years. He needed to say the things he didn’t want another human to hear. He could say those things to Len, he could trust him; trust him to understand, trust him to love him, trust him not to leave.


	62. chapter 62

Len stood up, his back was stiff and his thighs were killing him. He needed a hot shower before he could think of going down the stairs. Seri had gotten up at least an hour before and he heard Jo and Jim as they made their way to breakfast. According to the PADD on the dresser they would be leaving Betazed that afternoon. He didn’t realize it would be so soon.

 

Thinking back to the previous summer he understood why Jaz wanted to leave as quickly as possible. Once the way out was set, anyone would want to get on that path as soon as possible. He messaged his mom to let her know what was going on. Knowing her she would have a room ready for his future father-in-law. Knowing her she would steal the man as soon as they got there and drag him around the farm and into town. Len would have to make sure George intervened or Jaz might think they were all crazy.

 

The shower loosened up his muscles enough that he could get moving without medication. When he got out of the shower Seri was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him. “So, I thought I could take Jim and Jo into town. Dad got up early and straightened out things at the office. I thought I could take them to the museum one last time.”

 

“Alright Peaches. Now tell me the real reason you want to go to the museum.” Len dried off and hung the towel on the towel rack. He walked back to the bedroom and stood naked between Seri’s legs.

 

“If you’re trying to distract me, it’s working.” Her eyes were at his waist level.

 

He took her face in his hands, bent down and kissed her. “I wasn’t. Right now, the only thing stiff on me is my back. I just have feeling this trip isn’t simply to expand my daughter’s horizons. You’ve been blocking me all morning baby.”

 

“You’re right. My sister messaged me. Given what happened with my mom, I thought it would be best if I wasn’t here when she came over. I don’t want her near Jo, and Jim can’t be trusted. Len, I wanted you to stay with dad. Celiasa tends to try to make people feel bad, especially if they don’t do what she wants.”

 

“You want me to run interference?”

 

“Run what?” She looked genuine confused.

 

“Sorry, an American football term. We play it on the farm once a year, when the family gets together. It means I’ll take her attention away from him, block her. She can hurt him, but she can’t hurt me. I could give a shit about her so I can’t be hurt by her.”

 

“Thanks babe, I knew you would understand. When we get back, I’ll pack the suitcases.”

 

“I’ll pack mine after I dress. I’ll get Jo’s stuff together while you are all gone. I’ll get your stuff together also.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

“It won’t take long. That way we can leave as soon as you all get back. Seri, I won’t let her hurt him.” He walked to the dresser and pulled out an outfit for the day. It was the day for a button-down shirt and chinos. He wanted Celiasa to know he was a well-educated, if understated man. He also understood that no one could hurt a man more than his children. Jaz would need support. Len dressed quickly.

 

His hair looked tousled and sexy. “You’re the handsomest man I have ever seen Dr. McCoy.”

 

“What do you want?” He was smiling at her. Seri couldn’t be very sneaky with him, even when she tried. Since they bonded, he knew her on a level he didn’t think possible.

 

“I was wondering if you could tell my dad that I want the mukluk plant at the corner of the house? I know you grabbed half a dozen, but I want that one. He’ll know why.”

 

“That was your mukluk, wasn’t it?”

 

“Yes, she is. She was my friend growing up. I helped dad plant her. We have grown up together and I don’t want to leave her with people that don’t love her the way I do.”

 

“I’ll make sure she comes with us.”

 

“According to what I have read, the soil in Georgia should work for her. The microbes are very similar. The six plants you guys took are great, but I want to take Angelique.”

 

“So that’s her name?”

 

“It is.”

 

He sat next to her and kissed her on the forehead. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”

 

Her face turned a lovely shade of pink. “Since the day after you asked me to marry you. You think I’m silly.”

 

“Yes, but not about this. I like the sentimental side of you. I’ll make sure she is in a container separate from the other ones when I put her in the transport container. We should go down.”

 

She threw her arms around his neck the same way Jo did. Over the past nine months Len had noticed that when Seri got excited, she looked like a little girl, full wonder. He wanted to ensure that he would see that more over the rest of their lives. “Thank you! Thank you for everything.” He pulled her to him, burying his face in her hair.

 

“God, I love you.”

 

“I love you too. I can’t wait to go home.” He held her longer, she was home to him. Wherever she was, was home.

 

By the time they got downstairs Jo, Jim, and Jaz had been fed and were ready for the day to begin. “Alright Turtle, Aunt Seri and Uncle Jim are going to take you back to the museum today. Granddad and I still have somethings to tie up around here. Remember we are catching the shuttle to the transport later this afternoon.”

 

“The museum! Aunt Seri, can we do to the hat room again?”

 

“Anywhere you want baby. Today, Shadow will need to stay here. Jim, are you okay with that?” She turned to Jim. _“Celiasa is coming. I don’t want her near Jo, but I don’t want dad to be alone. I thought Len could handle her better than we could.”_

 

He really didn’t need to read her thoughts, her face said it all. _“You’re right, Len is the best choice. I might tell her exactly what I think. That wouldn’t turn out well. I’m definitely signing up for more diplomacy classes.”_ “Sounds like a plan. We can grab lunch while we are out.”

 

Seri and Jo gave Len and Jaz kisses, grabbed Jim jumped into the hovercraft and left for town. Jaz placed the last of the dishes into the dish washer. “So, my daughter has you babysitting me?”

 

“No sir. I think I’m supposed to babysit Celiasa.” Jaz was laughing. “Seri and I thought it best if you weren’t alone with her. I was the best choice for obvious reasons.”

 

“And they would be?”

 

“I don’t care what she thinks of me, I can control my tongue better than Jim, and I know what it is to be a father.”

 

“All fair points. My oldest will be here in about an hour. I took care of things at the office and commed Kenakin and Tachin. They will be here before we leave to say goodbye. I’ll miss them. Their family is probably the only thing I will miss about this place. Them and the stables.”

 

“You’ll like our stables, and you can ride anytime you want. Are you regretting the move?” They had a seat at the kitchen island.

 

“No, but it is happening faster than I had thought it would. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just unexpected. I wanted to thank you.”

 

“For what sir?”

 

“The invitation to visit your home. It means a lot.”

 

“I’m glad you’re coming. Mama is excited, and I think George is hoping he will have an ally. Something about needing more testosterone around to even things out. Dad, I need to ask you something.”

 

“What is that son?”

 

“Can Seri have the mukluk plant at the corner of the house? It needs to be put into a separate container and heavily watered before we leave. I promised her I would make sure it was put under the table with the rest of them.”

 

“I’ll have Angelique and one of the blue ones from the island put into pots.”

 

“You knew about Angelique?”

 

Jaz had the same look on his face that Len got when he talked about one of Jo’s loves. One of the great pleasures of being a father was watching your baby grow to love and care for others. “Seri doesn’t know, but I used to sit at this window and listen to her read to that plant. The day we planted her Seri would keep going back to make sure she wasn’t wilting. I know all about her and Angelique. Kenakin will have it taken care of. The container is being picked up around noon. They apologized for having to come later. I’ll ask them to mark the pot that holds her plant.”

 

“She’ll be happy. Jake will make sure her baby is well cared for. I’ll comm him on our way home. You’re going to like him. He really runs the farm, not me. He is married to Sarah; the one Jim is afraid to piss off.” Len looked around the kitchen. “Are you sure we packed everything?”

 

“I did a walk through this morning. I also threw my luggage into the rental craft. Don’t tell your fiancé, but I didn’t sleep well.” Len had known without being told. The doctor knew the signs of a man who was both mentally and physically exhausted.

 

“I think your daughter knows. Jo is excited about her new bedroom set. Thank you for that.”

 

“Thank you for my granddaughter. You should pack before the storm comes through that door. Don’t worry, I can handle her. I should mark the plants.” Len knew Jaz wanted time to himself before his daughter showed up. The man needed to come to terms with possibly losing his oldest daughter forever.

 

“I know you can sir. I won’t be long.” Shadow was waiting for him at the top of the stairs. The puppy was still too small to go up and down the stairs without help. Shadow followed him into the bedroom. It didn’t take Len long to pack his and Seri’s bags. He looked in Jim’s room and saw the kid already had his bags packed and by the door. He carried the bags down to the foyer and went back for Jo’s.

 

As Len put his baby’s clothes into her bags, he heard a woman’s voice calling through the house for her father. Shadow had continued to follow him around the bedrooms. At the sound of Celiasa’s voice the puppy hid behind Len. “I know buddy, she doesn’t sound very nice. She sounds a lot like my sister. You can stay here.”

 

Celiasa’s voice continued to echo throughout the house. “Father! Father!”

 

Len realized Jaz must still have been down at the island with Kenakin. Now was as good a time as any to meet his future sister-in-law. He left Shadow in the room and closed the door. With Jo’s smallest bag in his hand he walked quickly down the grand staircase. A woman with long black hair was standing in the middle of the foyer with her back to the stairs. “Hello, you must be Celiasa, Seri has told me all about you.”

 

She turned to face him. Her black eyes stared him up and down as if he was an extremely large insect. As she addressed him, her voice dripped with pure ice and venom. “You must be Leonard. Seriana has told me very little about you. I heard you were impressive. My cousins have obviously exaggerated, though you seem pleasant enough. Mother would disagree with my observation. Though, I am pleased to meet you.” She extended her hand which Len shook. It was what George would call a dead fish handshake. He wasn’t stupid, the last part of her statement was definitely a lie.

 

“I heard you calling for dad. He is most likely on the island. Would you like to meet him there?”

 

“Absolutely not. I want to see what he has given away. I can’t believe he is giving our things away.” She looked at the open door to the library.

 

Len blocked her way. He didn’t want her to roam the house without Jaz’s knowledge or consent. It may have been her childhood house, but it was no longer her home. Just then he heard the kitchen door close. Celiasa all but ran to the kitchen. It didn’t take long before her shrill voice was heard yelling for her father. “Hello Celiasa, it’s nice to see you. I thought you weren’t coming here unless I welcomed your mother back.”

 

The voice that Len heard was not the voice he had become familiar with over the past days. It lacked the warmth and love Len knew was a large part of his future father-in-law. The voice that sounded from the kitchen was cold and methodical; the consummate lawyer. He followed the sounds of the voices until he reached the butler’s pantry between the dining room and the kitchen. As Len stayed out of eyeshot, he made sure he was able to hear everything. In case things got bad he wanted to be there for his future father-in-law.

 

“Father, you can’t be serious. Have you been to see a doctor? I don’t believe you are acting like yourself.”

 

“No, I am acting exactly like myself, and I am very serious. You may walk through the house and take anything you want, I have a list of things to which your mother is entitled. As for the house, it belongs to me and I am disposing of it as I see fit. Let me know what you want and I shall have it sent to you.”

 

“I cannot believe you. Mother said you had lost your mind. After looking around, I must agree with her.”

 

“I haven’t.”

 

“You know that man out there, threatened mother. I cannot believe he is still here.”

 

“He is here for as long as he wishes to be. He didn’t threaten her, he saved her. Your sister can no longer be in the presence of your mother, and I feel it safer if she were nowhere near you.”

 

“Seriana needs to come home. The Academy has been horrible for her. She needs to stay with her family.” Len stiffened at the mention of Seri.

 

“Your sister is happier and healthier than I have ever seen her. She is with her family. You have the family you have always wanted and now she has the one she wants. Now I need to find my place in the universe.”

 

“Your place is with us, with your family, with your grandchildren.” Len could hear Jaz walk across the kitchen with Celiasa. He changed his position to insure he wouldn’t be discovered.

 

“Family members don’t degrade other members; they don’t threaten each other. I have spent my entire adult life being treated as an insignificant piece of dirt, an idiot to be ignored. That will no longer be tolerated. I would love to remain in the lives of my grandchildren, but I will not be held hostage by your threats. Hopefully one day they will see the truth of what has happened. I shall no longer compromise my sanity and my happiness. I have no reason to stay here, and frankly you don’t want me to stay. You want this house and its contents not me. Don’t…” Len assumed the daughter had begun to protest her father’s observations. “Celiasa, I love you and the kids, I always will, but I am done. If you want to maintain a relationship with me it can be arranged, but it will be up to you, and there will be no monetary compensation. Do we understand each other?”

 

“Yes father.” To Len she sounded defeated. What fight she had when he met her in the foyer, her father had berated out of her. “I shall let you know what I want.”

 

“No, here are some stickers. Feel free to put them on the things you want for yourself or the children.” Len heard him leave the house through the kitchen door. He turned to leave the pantry and head back upstairs. Jaz needed solitude and he didn’t want Celiasa to know he had been listening. Len had blocked her from his thoughts and emotions. It wasn’t difficult.

 

Leonard was packing Jo’s bags as Shadow slept on the bed, when Celiasa came into the room. “What are you doing? None of these things are yours. You have no right to them. Put them down! What is that?!” The irate woman pointed to the sleepy puppy as he yawned and stretched.

 

“To whom do you think speaking? I am not one of your minions. Now let’s try this again.” Len went back to folding the clothes; his back turned to her.

 

Celiasa was completely taken aback by his response. No one had ever taken that tone with her much less turned their back on her. “You can’t take those things.” She grabbed one of Jo’s tops but was stopped by Len’s hand.

 

Her wrist was grabbed firmly enough to force her to drop the clothing, but not enough to hurt. “Don’t touch my daughter’s things.” He dropped her wrist and returned to folding Jo’s things. “Is there anything else?”

 

She didn’t know what to make of this man. Her mother said he threatened her, but he didn’t seem the type. He was definitely handsome, but not her type, too sure of himself. She sat on the bed; Shadow wined for Len to get him. He grabbed the puppy and set him on the floor. “You are with Seriana? You don’t seem her type. We’ll see how long this lasts. My sister has a habit of leaving men after they don’t meet her standards.”

 

Len smirked. “Nice try. Is there something real you wanted to say to me? If not, I need to finish packing.” He wanted to be as dismissive as possible. The woman needed to know exactly how little she meant to him. He wasn’t going to have another Ginny in his life.

 

“I wanted to say that you don’t scare me. So, don’t try to intimidate me like you did my mother.”

 

He stopped packing and turned to her. Shadow ran into the bathroom. “If your mother is intimidated by me, that is her fault. As for you, you mean less to me than the towels in the bathroom. That man down there, he means a great deal to me. You have spent the better part of your life hurting him.” She started to stand. “Sit down. You are going to hear what I have to say. You are nothing but your mother’s daughter. In the little time I have spent with you, I have already determined that you are nothing like your father. For that I am sorry. One day maybe you will understand what he said to you, but I honestly doubt it. Your father loves you, that will never change, but he cannot continue to be treated the way you both have all these years. When you look at what caused all of this, look at your mother, then look in the mirror.”

 

She stood up to face Leonard. “I don’t know who you think you are, but you are no one and you never will be. My sister is a fool if she thinks you will ever make her happy. Earth males don’t know their place.”

 

“And right there is the problem. Celiasa you need to come into the present and realize that men and women are equal. Your father is brilliant, but you are too ignorant to see it. I hope your children are at least a bit more cosmopolitan. Now I need to finish.”

 

He turned his back to her, effectively dismissing the woman. She stood behind him for a few minutes before she left, slamming the door behind her. “Tachin!”

 

Len started to laugh. “Come here buddy. She’s gone.”  The puppy snuck out of the bathroom. Celiasa was a dumber version of Ginny. It wasn’t long before he heard the front door slam. “That wasn’t fun.” Shadow looked up at him. “You’re right, it was a little fun. We can go down as soon as I’m done.” He packed the bags and grabbed Shadow’s blanket. “Let’s go buddy.” He picked his buddy up and carried him down the stairs.

 

The little grey furball followed him to the foyer, but waited at the door. Jaz wasn’t back yet. Len looked out the front door and noticed that Angelique was already gone. Len put the puppy into the dog yard. He needed to find Jaz. Thinking was good, but too much alone time could become counterproductive. Alone time was how he ended up on that shuttle to the Academy. He walked around until he saw Jaz in the rose garden. “Hi son. Did you enjoy the show?”

 

“Don’t do that. You know that’s not why I was there. She loves you, you know? In her way she loves you.”

 

“In her way. I guess it’s not enough. I love my daughter, but it isn’t enough.”

 

“It’s what she is capable of. Don’t expect more than that.”

 

“And I won’t be disappointed. But I am. I need to accept this, I know.”

 

He sounded completely defeated. Len was intimately acquainted with that feeling. “She may come around. Mr. Targan, do you want her back? It is easy enough if you do. Tell me, I’ll make it happen.”

 

The boy had stopped blocking his feelings. Jaz could feel the love and concern that came from the doctor. “It’s alright son. I know it’s for the best, still hurts. Please don’t tell Seri how I reacted.”

 

“I won’t. I wish I could do something to help.”

 

“You are. I’m glad you’re here. Do you have everything ready to go?”

 

He knew the older man wanted to change the subject. “Yes. I just have to get Shadow and Cordelia’s stuff from the back.” Len followed Jaz to the dog room. Cordelia was outside with Shadow. They moved all of the dogs’ things into the foyer and staged them with the suitcases. “I am scared of space flight. I was better coming here, but I have a phobia.”

 

“Come with me.” Jaz went to the library. They both sat on the window seat. “How bad is it?”

 

It was working, he was shifting from sorrow to protective dad. He wanted to take care of the kid. “Heart rate goes up, I sweat, I vomit sometimes. It’s how Jim and I met. Anyway, I didn’t get sick on the way here, but it doesn’t mean it won’t happen on the way back. Dad, I don’t want Jo to know. I can’t have her see me like that.”

 

“Alright, that will be easy to arrange. Did Seri come up with anything in case you get bad?”

 

“She did. She would take Jo to the bathroom. She puts an air sickness bag in her pocket with a bottle of water.” They both chuckled. “She always takes good care of me.”

 

“You take good care of each other. Listen son, don’t block me and I’ll take Jo to the bathroom. That way Seri can stay with you. You know you might want to get therapy for the phobia. You are a member of Starfleet. If I remember correctly, most of what they do happens in space.”

 

“Yeah, Jim mentioned that, so did my cousin. I am hoping desensitization will come into play at some point. Thanks for that. Here they come.” They could see Jim driving up to the front.

 

The two men went out to the front porch. Jo jumped out of the craft and ran to her father who grabbed her, lifted her into the air, and spun her around. “DADDY!”

 

He held her to him as she threw her arms around his neck. “I love you baby. Did you have a good time?”

 

“We did. Daddy, there were paintings of Aunt Seri’s great grandmother. She looked just like Aunt Seri. She had long black hair, that was the only difference.”

 

“Well, we are almost ready to go. Uncle Jim and I will get the craft loaded and you can go with Granddad and Aunt Seri to say goodbye to everyone. I have Shadow’s carrier over here for you.” He walked into the house and showed her the carrier. “We won’t pack that.”

 

“Alright daddy. Aunt Seri, we need to sit with daddy on the shuttle. You know he gets scared.”

 

“Don’t worry Turtle, I’m alright.” He kissed her before he put her down. Jo and Seri followed Jaz into the house. Tachin and Kenakin were waiting for them.

 

Tachin kissed all three of them. She was desperately trying to not cry. “Goodbye Jaz, Seri. Joanna, it has been wonderful meeting you.”

 

Jaz held her. “Don’t worry, we’ll see each other a lot. I’m going to make sure of that.”

 

Kenakin hugged everyone. “I’ve been talking to the kids. We may be moving to the Earth moon colony in a few years. We just need to wait for the twins to graduate and Oranikin to make the move.”

 

“I have him running this office for now, but I am hoping to have him expand in a few years. I think this will be a good office for him to hone his management skills.”

 

“It is, but you know Tachin, she wants all of her children around her.”

 

“So do you. This isn’t goodbye, remember that.” He hugged everyone again and gave Tachin another kiss. “I’ll be comming a lot. I love you both, you know that?”

 

Tachin hugged them one last time and left the room. Kenakin came up to Jaz. “We do, that is what makes this hard. Don’t worry Jaz, we’ll take care of everything. Seri, keep an eye on the men, Jo we’ll see you soon. We love you all very much.” He left before he started to cry.

 

“Daddy, we need to make sure we keep in touch with them.”

 

“We will. I’m not willing to lose people I love. We need to get moving.” They walked out to the front where Jim and Len had finished packing the vehicle.

 

Len met them before they got to the vehicle. “Dad, they came to get the container when you were inside.”

 

“Thanks for taking care of that. We should go.”

 

Seri looked concerned. “Dad, do you want to take one last look around?”

 

He looked around the front yard. “No baby; I said my goodbyes earlier today. I’ll go get Cordelia.”

 

Seri followed him to the dog room. They went out the back door to the fenced in area of the yard. She scooped up Shadow as he put Cordelia on a lead. They headed back to the foyer, Seri popped Shadow into the carrier, grabbed the puppy’s lead, and followed her father out of their family house for the last time. That was the past, they were heading to the future, her future and her father’s. Now life would start in full.

 

Jim drove to the shuttle terminal. The craft would be picked up there by the rental company. Their luggage was taken as they got in line. While in line Seri got a bag and bottle of water. She quickly hid them in her jacket pocket. The seating on the shuttle was different than the ones they used before. This one allowed for pets.

 

There were fewer seats, and they were configured differently. Jaz and Jim steered Jo to a row of three seats and a tether for Cordelia. Jim buckled in and put Shadow on his lap. “Uncle Jim, shouldn’t I sit with daddy? He may need me.”

 

“No sweetie. You stay with us. Aunt Seri has this.”

 

“Is this one of those stupid adult things?”

 

Jaz was laughing at her observation. “Yes baby, it is.”

 

Seri walked Len to an area of the shuttle that was hidden from the view of most of the passengers. She wanted privacy for Len. His fear had been rising since they got to the terminal. She could feel his heartbeat through the palm of his hand. He was worse than he had been during the shuttle ride to Georgia. “Len, I’m here. Let’s buckle in.” As they buckled in Seri noticed that no one could see them in their seats. The seats near them remained empty as the last of the passengers found their seats. She put her hand over his and mentally joined with him, though she continued to speak out loud. “Listen to my voice.” She could see the fear in his eyes. “Keep looking at me. We are going home, your home, our home.” The lights started to blink.

 

“Seri, I can’t calm down. Why can’t I calm down? Where is Jo? I don’t want her to see me like this. Please…”

 

“Imzadi, she is with my dad and Jim. They have her at the other end of the shuttle. Baby, you’re safe.” She took his hand and put it over her heart. Slowly she began to breathe in and out. “Just feel me breathe. Slow, in and out.” He followed her breathing as the shuttle took off. “I’m here baby.”

 

“Please stay with me.” He wasn’t calming down. “My chest hurts.”

 

“Alright, it is just a panic attack. Keep listening to the sound of my voice. Nothing is going to happen. We are safe. Len, you are starting to hyperventilate. I need you to breathe with me. Stay with me baby. In, out, there you go.” She could feel him, but she couldn’t figure out why this time was so much worse. There was more to it than the shuttle ride. It was going to be a very long two hours if she couldn’t calm him.

 

“I feel sick.” She took the bag and the bottle out, but didn’t let him see them. “Seri, help me.”

 

“Len, talk to me. Tell me why you are this bad.” She saw him start to swallow hard. With that she pulled out the bag. “Here baby. It’s okay.” He took the bag. “Len…” He started to spit into the bag. She rubbed his back. “Don’t fight it. I’ve got you.”

 

It wasn’t long before he started to vomit. He hadn’t eaten much that morning so there wasn’t much to come up. His hand shook as he took the water from her, then rinsed his mouth. “Thank you.”

 

“Do you feel better?”

 

“A little. I don’t know why I feel this bad.” Seri signaled the attendant who exchanged the used bag for a fresh one. Len looked embarrassed. “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

 

“It is alright sir. Let me know if you need anything else.” She left the couple alone.

 

“She thinks you’re handsome.” He smiled very weakly. “I think you are worse because most of what you love is in this shuttle.”

 

“It was like that on our way here. Jo, you, Jim, you were all there. Jaz couldn’t have caused this. Seri I’m scared.”

 

With that it hit her, she understood. He wasn’t afraid of the shuttle as much as he was afraid of the responsibility. It was all hitting him. The reality of who he was coupled with the phobia had taken over. “You know you can do this?”

 

“I’m great at puking. Got that one down.” He looked lost, hurt.

 

“I meant our life. You can do all of it. I know you have been concerned about juggling it. We are in this together.”

 

He looked at her. “I’m scared. I can’t do this, I’m not that person.”

 

“Len, you aren’t the man your father said you were. That isn’t you. It isn’t you Len.”

 

He looked defeated. “But I’m not your dad either. I need to be more like him if I’m going to make this work. You’re right.”

 

“I usually am.” She desperately wanted to make him smile.

 

“Ver funny. I don’t think I can do it all.”

 

“You’re right, you can’t. No one could. Dad doesn’t do it all himself either. He has staff to help. He has Tachin and Kenakin. You have all of us and your family. We can do it. Len we are in this all together.”

 

“I’m being stupid.”

 

“No, you aren’t. But I have a feeling you have been suppressing this fear for some time. Len, we’re a team. All of us are a team. Trust me.”

 

“I do. I trust you completely.” He was starting to feel better. “I’m sorry Peaches. All of this was unnecessary.”

 

“It’s alright baby. The phobia just brought it to the surface. You have the trip home to talk things over with all of us. We’ll have this all worked out before we get to the farm.” She held the palm of her hand to his cheek. “We take care of each other Imzadi.”

 

“I am absolutely completely in love with you.” She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. He could feel her love for him, it was the feeling of softness and warmth.

 

Before he knew it, they docked at the transport station. The group gathered together on the main concourse. Jaz turned to Len. He ignored what he knew had happened. Len wasn’t blocking his thoughts or feelings. “The bags are being delivered to our cabin. We can go there or mill around here a little. The transport doesn’t leave for another hour.”

 

“We should grab some snacks then get to the cabin. Is that alright dad?”

 

“I’m alright with it. Len, Jim, what about you two?”

 

Jim answered first. “We should get some food. I remember the flight here.”

 

Len joined in. “And this is a longer flight.” They walked to the store closest their transport. Seri and Jo picked out all kids of food and met the men and dogs outside the store. “Did you leave anything in the store?” He kissed Seri on the nose. “Let’s get on board.”

 

Jaz showed their boarding passes to the attendant. He was given a map to their cabin. They all followed the older man until they got to the third door on the left. The cabin was larger than the one they had on the other transport. The bags were already in the cabin and there were water bowls for the dogs. Jim took Shadow from Jo. He opened the carrier and let the puppy out. “Come on Jojo, let’s get our rooms.”

 

They got their rooms with the adjoining bathroom. “Dad, I guess these are ours. Jo likes to have the room next to her uncle. She has nightmares sometimes, and he is good with her.”

 

“I’ll take the smaller one. There’s only one of me. And really it is still pretty big.” They all got settled. Luggage was unpacked and dog beds put into the correct bedrooms. The food was stored in the kitchen cabinets and the refrigerator. The bedrooms and common room all had windows. The kitchen was closest to the entrance and didn’t have a window. It wasn’t long after they were done settling in, that the lights flashed signaling the transport’s departure.

 

Len looked calm as he sat next to Seri. Jo climbed into his lap and snuggled close. Jim and Jaz sat in the seats across from them. The transport disembarked easily from the docking station. It would be a few days before they arrived at the terminal near Jupiter. It would give them all time to decompress and talk. The time would help mold Len into the lord of the manor that Ginny said he was.


End file.
